"Numerology.......................'What I Did On My Summer Vacation'....................Home Improvement.............Loyalty Up = Loyalty Down......"

Good Evening;

Well loyal readers this is another milestone in the wild and wacky world of Homelesscide,

the 1,000th post! Not that all of them have been gems of journalistic integrity and creative brainstorms, some may even be classed as 'brainfarts' by the less enlightened, or that all have been of my own innovation. I have posted a fair number of linked or forwarded stories I thought were of interest, relevance, or just tickled my warped and twisted sense of humor. Even though it's never been all about the numbers, I've still gotten a kick out of passing certain mileposts in quantity, (and you'll notice I make no claims to quality.....lol), and number of hits/visitors, and visitors from outside the U.S., (a good number of which have been due to coincidental linking of a search that matched a song or movie, etc. that I used as a title to a post...not the content.....lol.; though some of those folks did voluntarily return).

OKAY................Enough of my ego stroking false humility....lol!

Well my weeks vacation/reprieve is over. I left Jenn's yesterday (Wed.) afternoon about 4:30 for the coffee shop and spent the first night in the shed since the previous Wednesday.

That morning my son-in-law Tom and I went up to look at the door in the daylight, (and it seemed to be in the same wedged position I left it in last week), and then to Home Depot where he picked up a set of hinges and screws and a length of chain for me. We went back up to the shed and rehung the door and drilled a couple small holes to pass the chain through the wall and the door around the frame and which I locked with a combination lock I had, (actually the lock issued to me when I got to the Central Laundry Pre-Release Facility in Sykesville in October 'o4....aka-"The Lock In The Sock".....some of you know all about what I'm talking about, don't try to deny it!.......lol). We went back to the apartment and I hung out there for a bit before coming here to Starbucks.

The whole week between Thursday of last week and Wednesday of this week was pretty much the same:

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

(Classroom 666 - Sister Mary Elephant - Sts. Cheech & Chong Parish School)

I woke up, I threw things at the damn yowling cats, I fed the cats, they shut up. I took my meds, I fell back asleep. I woke up, I threw things at the damn yowling grandmonsters, I fed the grandmonsters, they shut up. I had my fourth cup of coffee, I ate, I watched kids shows until I had 'SpongeBob On The Brain', I showered, I fed the kids, I stepped outside, I said F*CK THIS!, I came back inside. I played with the kids, I watched more TV....[time passes]....I put the kids to bed. I watched grown-up TV until 4:00 am. or I nodded out in the recliner, whichever came first.

[Repeat x 6]

With minor variations this was my week, with temps. in the 100s on 4 out of 7 days I was going nowhere. Except for Sunday when I walked to the shopping center with Ed, and Monday when I took off for a few hours and took the bus to the coffee shop to give Jenn some space in the tiny apartment to have her friends stop by, I did not leave the house other than to take the trash to the dumpster.

(And the bag of used kitty litter that has put me in serious pain since Tuesday, but more on that later)

Tonight it is back to the shed, it was not too hot last night, but it heated up quickly this morning. Today was another hot humid nasty day, and tomorrow is forecast to be worse.

The next 4 days are going to be really rough as I have exactly $2.01 left on my Foodstamps card and 37 cents in cash, a couple bagels, a couple doughnuts, a packet of lemonade mix and some cheese and peanutbutter crackers, and I think a ham, egg, & cheese sandwich in Jenn's freezer.

I also need to find either $4.00 to do laundry tomorrow or an invite from someone with a washer/dryer because I wearing my last clean pair of jockey shorts....lol.

I'll see you tomorrow, it's time for my meds and my side is causing me great pain as I sit here writing this, which is something new and exciting to report to the doctor next week....{oh joy....NOT!}.

Thanks to all who have read and kept reading my 'exercise in exorcism' as I call it, and know that I am grateful for those who were inspired to respond by comment or e-mail, and overwhelmed by those who were generous and empathetic and have sent me gifts and donations. I put my life out for view on these pages, telling of the sadness and madness, joys and gladness, and MOST of what I going through and dealing with, (or to be honest, in some cases, NOT dealing with, from fear or frustration), and most of the time wrap it all in a blanket of sometimes absurd, sometimes ironic, often warped, and occasionally black humor. If I'm just plainly stating the fact, bitching, or humorously begging about being broke, I don't use this forum as a way to ask or get money or gifts or anything else from anyone, (other than the purchase of my collection of poetry), though to be completely honest, there are very few cases where I would refuse anything offered. So to those of you who have gone to the effort of contacting me and meeting me, whether or not you chose to give a gift or not, I appreciate the opportunity to have talked and listened with and to you.

Later..................................Dave

"Take It On The Road.........Or.........'Will It Play In Peoria?'......"

Good Evening;

So, the coffee shop has the temporary early closing times posted for the 13 day period beginning this Saturday:

Sat. 7/30 = 11:00 am.

Sun. 7/31 - Fri. 8/5 = 2:00 pm.

Sat. 8/6 - Thur. 8/11 = 6:00 pm.

Opening times will remain as always:

Mon. - Fri. = 5:00 am.

Sat. & Sun. = 6:00 am.

I have not as yet figured out where I will be spending some time out of the heat for this period.

Invitations are welcomed.

If I could get a doctors appt. and prescription refills early, and scrape up about $200.00 bucks I'd take...."Homelesscide---'The Road Trip'---"....lol!

A couple cheapo bus tickets to wherever is on sale, and brush off the old thumb and travelin' blues sign from 'back in the day', (way, way, back in the day.....lol), and who knows?

Upstate New York? San Diego? South Florida? Galisteo, New Mexico?

Hell....I should do what my friends from Hawaii do, just head West and have Trust and Faith that there will be an airline ticket provided one way or another by the time I get to the 'Left Coast'!

And if that sounds farfetched and too unbelieveable to be true....

Get a copy of "Grandmothers Whisper" by Inette Miller @ Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com in both print and Kindle or Nook versions.

Anyway, time to pack up and walk over to meet Jenn.

Later.....................Dave

(Many thanks to Derek & Kayla......for the comedy and the goodies)

"Heat & Humidity Hermit.............................&........1/2 Young Einstein - 1/2 Young Frankenstein.........................."

Good Afternoon;

Well I've made it out of Jenn's house for the first time since Thursday, except for a walk with Edward to the shopping center yesterday. The heat has been just ridiculous and the dew point and humidity were freakin' insane! Broken records all over the place. I'm at the Starbucks thanks to the short but powerful thunderstorm that hit about 2:30 pm. and the fact that cabin fever and my grandson had me on the brink and if I did not get out, sh*t was hit the fan and I was about launch his ass in the space recently vacated by the last space shuttle.

The temps. dropped around 15 degrees, (and have risen only about 5 degrees so far), and the rain stopped and I rolled out just in time to catch the 4:00 pm. bus.

Jenn is going to pick me up after her meeting tonight and we are going back to the apartment. I was not planning on coming back but she asked about monster sitting while she and Tom went back to the dentist for the next visit in their series, and mentioned staying another night. Well, that made not going back to the shed a no brainer, both because of the heat and humidity avoidance factor and the delaying of a possible confrontation with Ivan, the guy I found in the shed when I got there at 3:45 am. Thursday morning. I let him stay when he asked, to avoid any hassles, and he moved down to the 'beyond condemned' portion of the floor after getting some clean boxes from the liquor store/FedEx-Kinkos dumpster.

The door is completely off the hinges and cannot be put back on. I want to get a couple of 'barn door hinges' and some lag bolts and 'ghetto-engineer' something quick and dirty and cheap, just enough to have a lockable/blocklable/latchable barrier to keep out the casually curious and keep the few things I do keep in there from 'growing legs' and disappearing. I have been using the extreme heat as reasonable excuse not to deal with it, (and even though it may cool all the way down to 85 degrees tomorrow....and it will be back up to 99 degrees by the weekend), but I can't stay here at Jenn's much longer without the tensions getting too high, (all of ours), and killing any chances of being welcomed back soon. ... Like next weekend...........lol!

I am going to see what Tom is doing in the morning tomorrow before the dentist, and since he has a butt load and a half of tools and assorted hardware laying around in the truck and the house, maybe finding something that will suffice to rig the door.

I'm broke until the 2nd of August...knock wood!...so I can't buy any hardweare until then.

Okay, that's about it, no excitement to report on since I last posted that would really interest you all. Rachel is home safe from Chicago, where she had a blast. I have not seen her yet, the heat keeping both of us inside, and finances being in the red. Devin, my 3 year old grand daughter who has me wrapped around her little finger, is a Diva.....and knows it. Edward, her 6 year old brother, as usual, is a near genius, (truly!), and a total clueless box of rocks at the same time.

It just does not sink in--

When People Yell At/Spank Me For Doing/Saying =

[Fill in your choice of behavior/speech],

multiple times per day/hour........

I Should Stop Doing/Saying Such A Thing!!

He literally bounces up and down while being chastised/instructed/corrected/lectured yelled at...

just waiting for you to finish so he can continue talking/acting out.

Water off a duck's ass?

Goldfish memory?

Oooooohhhh, Shiny!

Yadda..yadda..yadda..yadda......oh look a butterfly!

Yeah, that's about it, ....as he reads at least 2 grades above his level and constructs a cold fusion reactor out of his Legos......

Which he immediately forgets to tell you about, and loses mere seconds after something else catches his eye.

LOL!

Later............................Dave

Housing affordability: Many workers' salaries aren't high enough to comfortably afford to rent or buy in region - baltimoresun.com

Good Evening;

Hot enough for you? 106 at BWI, 108 in the city!

Don't worry if you missed it... 'do overs' are being held tomorrow!

This a link to the Baltimore Sun

Housing affordability: Many workers' salaries aren't high enough to comfortably afford to rent or buy in region - baltimoresun.com

Look at the numbers, do the math.

A growing group of people ending up on the street

are coming to be called the 'working homeless'.

Used to be just the addicts that fit that category,

now it's filling up with the former middle class.

Later......................Dave

"This Is Going On Your Permanent Record.................................."

Good Afternoon;

I want to express my gratitude to the folks who have e-mailed, called, and sent a comment or FB msg. asking how I'm making out in today's record setting and dangerous heat and humidity. It just hit 105 at BWI and at various locations around Baltimore readings range from there up to 110, which translates in to a heat index of 120 to 128 with the high dew point.

I am in Jenn's apartment where I have been since yesterday afternoon and hope to be tonight, [it has not been discussed yet and with the temps inside here ranging from a cool and clammy 79 to 85 degrees, (depending on the area of the apt.), thanks to B G& E'S "Energy Saver Plan", the humidity has tensions a bit frayed, so I'll until the A/C is released from the far reaching tentacles of Corporate America and temperatures and tempers have cooled off.].

Later..........................Dave

"Too Hot To Handle............................."

Good Morning;

12:37 am.

temperature=90 degrees--humidity=63%--dew point=77 degrees

heat index=104 degrees

Friday predicted heat index to reach 116 degrees.

Saturday is going to be the same or only a degree or two less.

Excessive heat and humidity sucks!

Enuff said?

I'm at Jenn' spending the night, they are walking in right now

and the bra....'little darlings' are asleep. I'm about to eat a bowl of cereal and try to get some sleep myself if the dumb ghetto f*ck moron turns down the bass and/or the volume of his freakin' stereo. Idiot waits until 10:00 pm. to turn it on and at 11:00 pm. turns it up.!?!?!?

Tomorrow, Friday, I'm not going outside unless I'm forced to, and I'm spending the night inside with A/C,....somewhere, somehow.

Ditto for Saturday.

Rachel got home late this morning, (Thursday), and had a blast in Chicago.

I am going to try to see her on Sunday, when,....hopefully.... the weather is supposed to cool off all the way down to the mid to upper 80s.

I am trying not to think about it, because right now it is beyond my control, but the situation with Ivan and the shed is bothering the hell out of me.

I worry he will come back tonight and go in there again, that he will bring unwanted notice and attention to it, that I will get caught up in the fallout if/when the police come to arrest him again,(it's only a matter of time).

I worry about the door not being wedged properly and drawing attention, or someone coming by and shoving on it when I am in there and it falling in.

I'm worried my lantern and fan will be gone, and my clothes and sleeping bag trashed.

I'm also not happy he was sleeping with his stink-ass shirtless body on my blankets and using my pillow'

I need to get hold of 2 barn door or strap hinges and a latch and some nuts, bolts, and lag screws and ghetto engineer something to rehang the door and be able to lock it...I have a combination lock somewhere her at Jenn's in a box.

Anyway, can't deal with it tonight, and most likely tomorrow either.

Later..........Dave

"Perimeter Breach!!....Intruder Alert!!....Activate Offensive Maneuv......Abort-Abort-Abort!!!....................."

Good Afternoon;

So....the door was seriously ajar when I headed over to the shed to try to get some rest this morning at 3:45 am. My telltales were down and the door was poorly wedged in the doorframe. I took my flashlight in my left hand and my 'attitude adjustment tool' inmy right and heaved the door up and over to the side and walked up and stood over a person sleeping in my space at the dry end of the shed. "Luckily"....and that is a relative term..., it was Ivan a local 20-21-0r so year old kid who I have had some dealings with. I have given him sandwiches, pastries, and bus fare on occasion and talked with him. Unluckily he is an active druggie, admitted thief, shoplifter, and burglar of opportunity with whom I try to keep a certain distance. NOT someone I would offer space to...I cannot afford to be involved in the residual fallout the next time the cops come looking for him!

I have to go catch a bus to Jenn's now.........more info to follow.

Later..........................Dave

"Thank God Lawyers Can't Fly!........OR.........Mosquitoes......The OTHER Hated Blodsuckers!......................"

Good Evening;

So the heat today was like a triple tag team mugging.

First; As soon as you step out the door the sun smacks you in the face and blinds you.

Second; The heat slams you in the chest knocking the air out of your lungs and stunning you.

Third; The humidity slams you to your knees like a biker with a sock full of nickels.

Then; They all kick you in the head, gut, & crotch 'til you pass out!

And the next 2 days is when it really gets hot!

I had a partial reprieve for the middle part of the day today. I got a call from Jenn asking if I could babysit a mutual friend's daughters while she went to the hospital. She's about 6 months pregnant and was having some problems. I jumped on the bus about 10:30 am. and headed down to Jenn's because Tom was going to take me out to Owings Mills to her house, and I NEEDED! to shower and change at least my shirt and socks first before I had any contact with anyone.

When I got there plans had changed and our friend was prescribed bed rest at home and to monitor the situation, and if any changes, then go to the ER. So I showered and changed and 'refreshed' a gently worn and cleanish pair of jockey shorts with a healthy spraying of 'AirWick Rain Garden' air freshener...lol.....and hung out on stand by until about 4:00 pm. when Jenn & Tom & the kids got back from their appointments.

Jenn asked me to watch the kids Thursday night so she could go to Tom's HG with him and I sure but somehow I have to get some laundry done out of the deal, besides the usual, 'you're out at night- I crash on the couch' trade AND that I was going to come by at some point as early as possible before the projected 100-104 degree heat peaked.

(That's got Thursday covered....next up Friday and it's equally ridiculous temps and finding a cold damp hole!)

Tonight I am thinking about sitting up all night here on the bench in front of the library, where there is SOME breeze to be caught. My friend at 'Whole Foods' says her friend at the Hilton downtown says he can slide me in there one night next week. I said, 'sure, I worked at hotels before and 'comps' are at the mercy of reservations', if it happens fine...actually great!, but ..."we shall see what we shall see".

I've got 5 ham, egg, & cheese breakfast sandwiches in my bag I hope keep through the night until I can freeze them tomorrow, a gift from one of the young ladies at the coffee shop.

I read today on the back of a box of 'Apple Ohs', Giants store brand version of 'Apple Jacks', in a camping tip and trivia layout that 'mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue', well after some Internet research I have found that most studies are inconclusive at best, many contradicting each other in minor areas. Anecdotal evidence on the 'net leand toward a positive conclusion.

AND.....my inadvertent self sacrifice of my body for the furtherance of mankind's scientific knowledge and actual field research of the Asian Tiger and Anopheles Punctipennis ,(what a terrifying name, and oy! the images it brings up....lol), bites leads me to believe that the probability of of this theory is weighted on the side of truth!

Three guesses on who unthinkingly put on the only shirt that fit this afternoon, well aware that he would be outside most if not all night....said shirt being a beautiful shade of cerulean blue.....and your first two,.....ouch, swat, scratch....don't count!

Of course the little darlins are also attracted by the hot, warm, wet, swirling expulsion and subsequent updraft of carbon dioxide...CO2...each time we breathe or talk.....okay make the 'full of hot air joke and get it over with, children.....and the lactic acid exuded from our sweat....of which there has been no shortage, (except for that little bout of near heatstroke), recently too, so I'm a freakin' triple threat mosquito beacon tonight!

(Anybody wanna bring me some Benadryl?????).

No related connection to this except I really like it;

Raise Your Glass: The Cosplay Edition [Music Video]

www.geeksaresexy.net

Just mouse over and click on,

when the G.A.S. site comes up, scroll down to the video.

It's not only well done, it's a lot of fun.....

and

the song rocks as an anthem for

those of us who were never able to...

or had any desire to....

'color within the lines'!

Later..........................Dave

"The Heat Wave Continues...................& .........................'NOT' A Baby Daddy"

Good Morning;

It's 5 minutes until 3:00 am. and I'm sitting outside the Giant on one of the wooden rocking chairs on display and note that a breeze has finally picked up and the temperature has hit it's low of 75 degrees for the day. I've been here since 11:30 pm. when I walked out of the store where I had been puttering around since about 10:45 pm. to find it pouring down rain. The rain lasted all of 15 minutes leaving the temperature still in the low 90s, but it raised the humidity and dewpoint to outrageous so that the heat index made it feel like 96 degrees!

I've been reading and playing on FB to kill time because the shed will be miserable.

As am I from lack of sleep and bashing my face on the corner of the screen. Just from the walking between Starbucks tom the train, to the train, to the bus, and to the Giant this evening, and sitting here for the past 3 and 1/2 hours has my skin feeling like an eel's or a salamander's after they've been out of the water for too long...........like dried out slime starting to crust over.....ummm, sounds absolutely divine doesn't it?

I am hoping Jenn will be doing some wash tomorrow, I'm out of clean shorts. I know I have at least one shirt and a wearable pair of socks there, but I'm pretty sure no jockeys and between the 'diaper rash', and just plain yuucccch factor, plus my aversion to it at any weather, 'freeballing' of 'going commando' is definitely NOT an option!....................lol.

My friend Mikel is back at Whole Foods after her maternity leave, the proud mother of a bouncing baby boy, Mason, born May 28th. When I walked over there this afternoon I saw heard out of the corner of my eye and did a doubletake to look again...by this time she had come squealing around the corner of her register shouting "DAVE" and smothering me in a big, well padded hug. We moaned about the heat together and she mentioned something about having a friend who works at the Hilton and would I mind traveling to downtown if I could get a 'comped' room for a night? (And unless I'm totally clueless and missing things big time it's a solo offer.....lol! We're not like that!.....lol.) I of course said 'hell no, I don't mind', and I'll see what goes down tomorrow.....I'm not holding my breath though.

Well the breeze is totally gone now and the flying piranhas are beginning to feast on my legs and their 'frosting', (and I had washed them off at both the coffee shop and here earlier!), so I'm going to go f*ck with the shed now, and hope it is not a steam bath.

Later............................Dave

Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I knew the library was going to be a freak show today, because I had had a 'sign' as I was walking past the side of the building on the way in. In the corner under the portico some no mannered ignorant piece of garbage who is walking around here in Pikesville took ANOTHER sh*t all over the wall and the sidewalk, leaving their sh*t smeared napkins all over the ground and stuck onto the brick wall. Looks like the same scum bag who did this to the shed wall a few months ago, and a few other places I've seen, usually high traffic areas, so it be happening late at night. Let me catch the bastard in the act and he's going to be laying face down in it with a broken face

"Heat Strokes.........................."

Good Afternoon;

Well I'm at the coffee shop finally cooled off and changed into clean dry clothes from the skin out. Waking up to 94 degrees at 7:30 am sucks. After stopping at the Giant and then the library, then bus to train to train, back and forth and in and out of the A/C and the heat and humidity my clothes, which I put on fresh after showering last night, and then took off to sleep so they stayed fairly fresh, were either sopping wet or crusty with dried salt depending on how close to the skin they were. Sometimes I will end up changing 3 times in a day with weather like this, if I have the clean clothes to do so. Between, wear and tear from wearing and washing, and the fact that they were purchased and/or acquired over a year ago, my basic daily costume of jockeys, socks and tee-shirts are starting to show major signs of wear. 5 sets of jockey shorts, 4 'good' tee-shirts and about 10 pair of socks, (even if other items do not need changing, the socks often get changed anyway, my feet are a mess as it is and clean socks DO make a big difference in avoiding the worst of 'jungle rot' or the 'creeping crud'....[just ask any Vietnam vet who was not just a REMF how valuable and treasured clean socks were!]...), don't last as long as jeans and the sweatshirts which may go 2 years or more before unraveling.

The only thing I really dislike about washing up, (or shaving), at the Starbucks is the quality of the 'Green' paper towels, which seem to be as much 'glue' or 'binder' or whatever the term for it is, than actual pulp or paper.

Yeah.....drying off can be......interesting................lol.

About the library... All the 'regular' weirdos were there, the evil, nasty, old white haired w(b)itch who always wears a couple layers of outer wear, the wacko girl who wears the same 2 outfits, alternating for days or weeks without washing them, and is unacquainted with personal hygiene products...both of these lovely ladies

drag their 'own' chairs from computer to computer pitching hissy fits and swearing like longshoremen if anyone sits in 'their' chair if they have not yet moved it when time is up on the computer. They also both mumble obscenities under there breath, racial, ethnic, and religious, at other patrons.

Then there was the tall black guy in perfectly pressed and creased digi-cam fatigues looking like one of the National Guard soldiers who frequent the library from the post just down the street....excepppt for the fact that there were absolutely no patches , badges, or insignia of any kind on the uniform....and he was having conversations with 'beings' not visible to anyone else....and cursing at the librarians. Then there were the assorted parents who brought their kids to the 'Big Blue Choo Choo' show in the meeting room and then came into the library and let their unmannered brats run around unattended and unsupervised in full vocal cry. One 'baby's mama' type with 2 stroller's and 4 kids, (of obviously different parentage....or Gregor Mendel was wrong, wrong, wrong!.......lol), was screaming at an infant no older than a year in fluent ebonics and threatened to "pop yo one in yo ear" if the child did not stop crying.....and which a short time later was found to have gotten a big chunk of thigh caught in the damaged and unprotected hinge joint of the stroller! Then the 'frummie' father with 6 rugrats swarming everywhere under people's feet as they tried to use the self checkout and reaching over and pushing buttons on the screen while their father shouted into his cell phone ignoring them. When I stopped one of the little bastards from toppling the heavy stanchion holding the guide tapes over on to his fuzzy little head, and causing a chain reaction pulling down the other poles............he gives ME a dirty look!?!

All I have to say is ask anyone who knew Jenn, or knows Rachel about their behavior in public places, from infants to age 7, (Rachel's age now), and they'll tell you how well behaved while still being children, and intelligent and interactive with adults they were/are. I know what I'm talking about!

I also saw as I as I was on the way out a couple of old men who come in all the time, and in full and oblivious denial of their obvious need for hearing aids, sit in the chairs of the New Books area partly hidden from sight by bookcases ....but not from hearing and carry on one of the SAME THREE DAMN ARGUMENTS/CONVERSATIONS!!!!!! each and every time they come in at full volume. They are constantly being gently, then firmly, 'shushed' by the staff. Which means that the decibel level temporarily drops to the equivalent of a Sunday morning TV preacher in full bellow.

Okay, it's almost 4:00 pm. and I really need to eat something now that my fears of heat related....um.....'projectile food rejection'....have passed......lol.

Later....................................Dave

"The Inmates Have Taken Over The Asylum.............."

Good Morning;

It's Idiot day at the library!

Must be the heat.

I gotta get out of here!

Later..................Dave

"Two Days.................Too Hot"

Good Evening;

I'm sitting in front of the Pikesville library enjoying the rising breeze and slightly cooler air. I was falling asleep at the keyboard and nodding off and smacking my face into the laptop's screen until one of my nightly meds kicked in, I would usually try to avoid taking it so late but I knew it would wake me up some and as much as I want to just go and lay/lie down the shed is too friggin' hot still. In an hour or three I'll check it out, earlier if these is a rain shower....but after just checking The Weather Channel's website, it looks like that's a long shot now...maybe after 8:00 am. and throughout the day when the chances for scattered and/or isolated thunderstorms are a 30% to 50% possibility.......when all they will do is increase the humidity and mugginess to the point where the moisture in the air counteracts one's sweat based cooling system......lovely.

The end of the week through the weekend is forecast with temps again near 100 and heat indices reaching 105 degrees...ahhhh Baltimore, all this and thugs, drugs, dirt, pollution and not an ocean in sight, there is the Inner Harbor....but when you toss a pebble into the water....and the water hurls it back at you.....!

On Sunday morning I got a call from Jenn asking if I could watch the kids during the day as she needed to go out with a friend and Tom had to take his best buddy to the ER/Clinic Walk-In veterinarian to have his cat put to sleep. After that they had to take her up to Monkton to bury her on Tom's Mother's property, where all the family pets that have died are buried because the vet. wanted some outrageous deposit to hold the body in their freezer. I spent the day with the grandmonsters...wishing my grandson had gone along and accidentally fallen in the hole too......lol, (maybe?). I left there about 7:45 pm and headed down to meet Monkee as she got home around 9:00 pm. to get the rest of my monthly meds. Thinking I'd only be no more than 2 hours I left all my bags at Jenn's planning to get them on the way back to the shed.

Sh*t!, Battery is dying and the shed is too hot......let me search for an outlet...back soon.

OK......in the shed which is still friggin' hot, but I'm half soaked and with the fan blowing on my head I'm feeling cruddy but cooler.

Anyway......I got to Monkee's as she was walking in and we ended up talking and catching up and gossiping about the way her block has suddenly taken a steep dive in cleanliness, noise, manners , and attitude in the past 6 months, since at least 3 formerly owner occupied houses became rentals. One house has 1 female adult and about 20 kids from infant to 14 years old, and one adult male 'on the box' living there and they are all outside hootin' & hollerin' well after 11:30 pm. 3 of the little girls are pregnant and their mother frequently heads out after midnight with different men and stumble in at dawn all coked up. 2 of the rentals are 'assisted living' facilities....ghetto style, meaning the 'special' folks living there surrender their checks and food stamps to the landlord who drops off boxes of food and supplies and stops to check every once in a while to make sure that they have not burned the place down.

After watching some young boys of the 'FFA' bust things up across the street in heir own yard then hear a crash behind the bushes screening the adjacent porch, we saw them disappear into the night hitting parked cars with sticks on their way past. As they started to cross the street towards Monkee's car I stepped out of the shadows casually twirling my chain. They stopped and started forward again but took off running like a pack of candy-assed baboons when Monkee said 'they're the little bastards who trashed my car last time.......don't kill 'em right away, make 'em bleed to death......." They dropped their sticks and bottles and fell all over one another as they turned to run, one of them, the biggest, the ringleader, slamming smack dab into a car stopped at the red traffic signal. Monkee began to laugh so hard she cried and it infected me....every time one of us got enough wind back to talk the other would crackup all over again. Monkee (who is black) finally got calmed down enough to croak out..."Baltimore has got to have the dumbest niggers in the country.......last year the big one shot hisself in the dick when the gun in his 'dip' went off when he tripped over his pants, which were belted around his thighs with his ass hanging out but hit the ground when he tried to run from a cop....in a dead end alley with buildings on 3 sides and no exits........lol!!!" By this time the woman whose house they had broke something off of (never saw or got exactly what we heard break, had called the cops...and handed them digital photos off her security system cameras, (digital, wireless, Radio Shack, DIY!............LOL) of the little 'baby G wannabees'. When the geniuses snuck back in the house 30 minutes later, through the back door, they found the police in the living room waiting, having coffee with the parents of all 3 morons!

So..... what was supposed to be a quick in and out....turned into "a 3 hour tour"....lol.

When the bus finally came, and I got on the train back to Jenn's it was 11:30 pm and there was no way to get my bags and get a bus back up here, so I called Jenn and told her I'd be down in the morning, (today), to get my stuff. It was a good thing too, because the subway was 'single tracking' to work on the line and a 21 minute ride took 75 minutes to Old Ct. Station and I caught the last bus of the night.....barely!

This morning I called Jenn to let her know I was on my way and she told me Tom would be at the FedEx/Kinkos and to meet him there and he'd give me a ride over....and by the way could I watch the kids this afternoon? She has a miserable earache and had to see the doctor and was going to have to sit in the waiting room until there was an opening, there were so many appointments.

It was a rough day, Edward and I locked horns and had a showdown today. He lost.

I left there after shaving and a quick shower, which was a waste of time, I'm covered with dried sweat and salt and was so 10 minutes after leaving, about 8:35 pm.

It's now 3:37 am. and I am going to try to sleep...it is bearable in here.

Later,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Dave

Homeless Woman At A Bus Shelter Speaks - Honolulu News Story - KITV Honolulu

Good Morning;

This is a link to an update on yesterdays story;

Homeless Woman At A Bus Shelter Speaks - Honolulu News Story - KITV Honolulu

Later.......................Dave

"Sunny Delight On A Saturday Night, ?????????????????................"

Good Evening;

I'm sitting outside the First Watch Cafe after stopping in the Giant for a jug of Sunny Delight Citrus Punch, for which I had a craving and is also a nice and easy way to both rehydrate and ingest a megadose of about 800% of the RDA of Vitamin C, which has been lacking from my diet in the past few days.....and though my eyes are such a pretty shade of yellow at the moment, it's not from too many glasses of Florida Sunshine......lol. Trying to balance spleen/liver/pain meds/daily meds/diet/back pain/jaundice/neuropathy/(and, I admit, probably too much coffee & the occasional drink or two) with a current way of life that is not conducive nor convenient to promoting good physical or mental health can be a struggle at times, especially when the depression is in high gear.

My best and closest male friend, Jeff, the nearest thing I have ever had to a brother, died on his couch in Florida in 2001, in front of the TV from sinking into a diabetic coma caused by not taking care of himself and not taking his meds. I used to say "how the hell did he let that happen, he knew exactly what to do....", and I never understood how an otherwise intelligent person could just give up and not be bothered and just let life slip away....

NOW....well, I not only understand, but I can empathize and see how easy and attractive it could be.

(And I also beat myself up inside for years with feelings of guilt, thinking I may have been able to do something to prevent it. When I got the news that he had died and his uncle and the police had broken into his house to find him 3 days dead, after at least 3 days in a coma, it came at a time when I had kept putting off or forgetting to call him for about the previous 10 days. Rational-irrational, probable-improbable...I'll never know, but that kernel of doubt still sometimes erupts into noxious bloom as a strangling vine of guilt and self recrimination, twisting and twining it's way unseen and unnoticed below the level of conscious thought, until in the toxic anaerobic atmosphere and black and hopeless light of the bottommost pits of despair and depression my mind is overrun by it to the point of wanting to punish myself for still being alive. Sometimes the feelings still surface to color and taint my world, and I find myself reaching for the Exacto knife, ready to begin carving more canyons and crevasses in my skin in a futile 'exercise in expiation' and the soon to follow search for a substitute for affection and caresses and simple human tactile contact in the sterile attentions and sutures, stitches, and staples of an hospital Emergency Room nurse and/or doctor.......................such is loneliness, such is life.)

[Ahhhh, yeah, welll.........THAT kinda came out unbidden, it's been that kind of a month, to the point of having a bottle of alcohol, gauze pads, and adhesive tape stashed away, ready and waiting.....just in case the old "mood elevator".....lol.....did get stuck on the ground floor!]

Anyway, as I was about to say before the demons started trying to escape,......again......, I was in the Giant and dropped into conversation with a woman also making a last minute kamikaze run through the store at 11:40 pm., 20 minutes before closing. My mind has suddenly clouded up as to her name, (well hell, after that last paragraph or two I think it is to be expected...! is it not?...lol), but I think it is Amy...(forgive if I goofed it up, you can comment at the end or e-mail me and electronically 'slap me upside de head' if you want...lol). We ended up walking and talking and sharing some similar experiences with ex-spouses [and spouse's ex-spouses], and their sick manipulations of the children in divorce situations, and the narrow-mindedness of certain segments of the Orthodox community. It was actually a pleasant conversation and I hope I run into her again.

I spent the night at Jenn's so she and Tom could get out for a while, and of course did not get to sleep until close to 5:00 am. and was up at 7:45 am., dozing in and out until I heard a whispered "what you doing Pop-Pop?" from the crib behind the recliner about 9:45 am., and turned to find Devin standing up watching me.

They all went up to Tom's mother's house in Monkton around Noon. I showered and half watched TV and dozed and left there about 5:30 pm. and caught the bus to the Starbucks, where I stayed until close.

A strange but fairly regular occurence there in that 2 different people there sought me out for opinion and advice on some situations in there life, regarding their recovery and sobriety, their love life, and major choices and decisions regarding jobs and or school. And not just petty things either, possible life changing actio ns were discussed. It is both flattering and 'freaking me the hell out' that folks who are well aware of my current situation come looking to me for answers....and seem to be satisfied and okay with what I have to say about things in their lives.......that are obviously not exactly copacetic in mine!

What's that old saying;"Those who CAN....do; Those who CAN'T....teach."......lol??

Out of charge on the battery,

Later..................................................Dave

Bus Stop Moved To Avoid Homeless Woman's Smell - Honolulu News Story - KITV Honolulu

Good Morning;

Way to go Honolulu City Transportation Dept.

(Mouse over and click to see link)

Bus Stop Moved To Avoid Homeless Woman's Smell - Honolulu News Story - KITV Honolulu

Rather than try to help her,

(and if she has refused help, there is ample evidence for a 'lack of competency'

determination and involuntary commitment if needed)

move the bus stop.....and what?....hope she just dies

and the problem goes away, then move it back?

Sick

Later...............Dave

"Anhedonia, Dysphopria, & Melancholy................................"

Good Morning;

So I guess some of you may have noticed that I have not posted any commentary in the past week.

July in general has not been a good month, it has had a few high points;

the day, (Tuesday the 5th), Rachel and I went to Build-A-Bear and lunch at the Greene Turtle being one wonderful day, and last night, (Thursday the 14th), when I went down to Fells Point to visit my dear friend, (and one of the women who Rachel is named after), Michelle at her new part time job tending bar at The Crabshack @ Captain James' Landing to catch up on the past few months. (Luckily the bar was slow and the crab deck was busy so we had a chance to talk as she worked filling service bar orders without any disturbances by too many pesky annoying patrons.....lol!)

And there have been a couple of lesser "ups" also, but between outside influences over which I have no control, a reemergence of the abdominal pain in my upper left side, and the still unexplained recurrence of the tingling in my hands, plus the usual money issues, and the rapid deterioration of the shed, (to the point that the door fell off and smacked me in the face and shoulder with sufficient force that the line used in jest...."ow.....that's gonna leave a mark!"....was no jest, and being able to answer yes to 13 of the 15 symptoms/warnings on the list below, (I'll leave it to you to guess which 13...lol), and by screwing my self by not being able to summon up the motivation to fill in and submit a mountain of paperwork of excruciatingly intrusive detail, (AGAIN, because the outreach agency that was supposed to have filed it online and mailed off the paper copy never did), and the enervating, energy sapping, soul sucking heat and humidity of all but the last 2 days, finding out too late that someone I cared for became very sick and died....[and especially some things I cannot mention in this forum]...well, it all built up to a point that damn near did to me what the Republicans are about to do to tyhe Government,...ie,..shut me down and brought me to a standstill.

It has been a shitty week to be trapped inside my head.

Definition: Depression

by Mayo Clinic staff

Depression is a medical illness that involves the mind and body. Also called major depression, major depressive disorder and clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave. Depression can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression may make you feel as if life isn't worth living.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply "snap out" of. Depression is a chronic illness that usually requires long-term treatment, like diabetes or high blood pressure. But don't get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychological counseling or other treatment.

Symptoms

By Mayo Clinic staff

Depression symptoms include:

• Feelings of sadness or unhappiness
• Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
• Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities
• Reduced sex drive
• Insomnia or excessive sleeping
• Changes in appetite — depression often causes decreased appetite and weight loss, but in some people it causes increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Agitation or restlessness — for example, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration
• Fatigue, tiredness and loss of energy — even small tasks may seem to require a lot of effort
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself when things aren't going right
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide
• Crying spells for no apparent reason
• Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

For some people, depression symptoms are so severe that it's obvious something isn't right.

Hopefully I've reached a bottom.

I called to get an appointment with my doctor, but 80 days just won't cut it, so I'm going to have to waste a day sitting in the waiting room as a walk-in sometime before the 10th of August so I don't run out of BP meds again. I'm tired of hurting with no explanation, and the S.S.I. fiasco and setback has me ready to give up and go back to begging on the street again. The only work I can find is either too physical and beyond my current capabilities, or in the one instance I was offered a job that I could do, and was really interested in, there is no way for me to get to it.

The one thing that has helped me retain what little sanity I have left is that there has been another run of babysitting dates needed by Jenn in the past few weeks that have helped to keep me out of the heat of the day, and in about half the cases allowed me to crash on the couch or the recliner, (the shed, after a 95-100 degree day of baking in the sun, retains the heat and stays an oven until near dawn, when the rising sun begins beating down on it again making it uninhabitable by 10:00 am., so sleep has not been anywhere near what is needed for physical, much less mental health requirements.

Anyway, being too hot in the shed to sit and type; and when in the coffee shop usually not in the mood, or busy eating, or distracted; and when at Jenn's usually too busy with the kids, too wound up or exhausted after they have gone to bed, or just not interested, (see list above...lol), I have not been posting. And this post shows in it's inherent incoherence just how tired I am.

Later.....................Dave

Preschool for homeless children losing its own home

Good Evening;

A link from the Baltimore Sun this morning;

Preschool for homeless children losing its own home

Later.......................Dave

"Riding The Short Bus......Or So It Seems Sometimes...................."

Good Afternoon;

So, we've had 15,000 visitors here as of today, as recorded by Sitemeter.

The lucky hit came from Estonia and was a Google referral to a search for

'bus bitching'..................lol!

Yesterday, Friday, was uneventful, Giant, library, coffee shop, train, sitting in front of the First Watch reading and on FB 'til 2:30 am., then reading in the shed unable to sleep until near 5:00 am.

I'm at the coffee shop now after stopping by Jenn's around Noon for a shower and a lunch of some pasta and sausage leftovers she had and a big bowl of raspberries and strawberries sprinkled with stevia and sugar and placed in the freezer for an hour or so, then topped with a big slice of peach pie and nuked gently for 30 seconds and topped with whipped cream, (REAL from a spray can not that nasty vegetable oil concoction called Cool Whip!)...[and they're still using N2O.....wink-wink-S.E.G.!.......LOL].

I left there on the 5:35 pm. bus and saw another one of the street people I mentioned I'd be writing about. This is a black, woman, heavyset, who looks to be in her late 30s, but it's hard to tell. I have seen her around Reisterstown Plaza for years at all hours of the day and night and on the buses recently. She is very obviously suffering from at the least schizophrenia and paranoia in the extreme. The winter before last she was wandering around the Plaza parking lot and the Clarks Lane area walking up to cars stopped at the light saying "help meeeee", and stepping into moving traffic, oblivious. She would also stand in the middle of the empty parking lot 'keening' and asking for help. She would either ignore or run away from anyone who tried to talk with her. I had flagged down a cop car and they told me they were real familiar with her, but she always refused help and was never doing anything dangerous or harmful that allowed intervention. She would have on an old brown ankle length parka style coat, with what looked to be a minimum of clothing beneath it and sandals, slippers, or shoes with the backs crushed down and worn like clogs, or Crocs, no matter what the weather. Her ankles and feet looked to be covered with thick scaly callous. It looked like alligator skin.

After not seeing her for a good while she reappeared in the area a few weeks ago with a hospital ID bracelet, the plastic strap with all your info that gets snapped onto your wrist in the ER or Admitting, and...she was wearing 3 thin cotton hospital gowns, (the kind you are given for an examination that are never big enough, and are told to wear with the opening that never closes with the totally ineffective ties, to the rear;... 2 facing one way and the other the opposite way. It appeared that was ALL she had on, except for a pair of disposable 'footie' socks, and a pair of disposable slippers, that were never meant to be worn outside. She looked medicated to the ears, nodding off and snapping awake and staring frantically at things before nodding off again.

I saw her again the other night on the bus again.....STILL wearing the same gowns now gray and grimy, and the same footies and slippers....or what was left of them.

I tried to offer her some of the sandwiches and/or pastries I had been given, but she started mumbling incoherently and rushed off the bus at the next stop, ran across the street through traffic and got on the bus going the other direction. I don't know the details of either 'why' or 'where', and neither do the bus drivers who just let her ride as long as she does not wig out.

I wonder what she is going to do when the gowns rot off her body. She obviously is incapable of caring for herself or she would have found something to put on, and she refuses any help offered. I would not be surprised to find out she had been 'involuntarily committed' if I don't see her around in the near future.

I have to go now, I want to eat and get out of here earlier than my normal time because the MTA in it's infinite wisdom 'fixed what ain't broke' and changed the #58 lines route AND schedule. Now Mt. Washington is no longer a terminus, but a mid point stop...the bus goes all the way to White Marsh Mall and back, and traffic is crazy out there. So the bus is either 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early.

Later.......................Dave

"Better MIA.....................than...................DOA!.............................."

Good Morning;

Well I've been MIA for a couple days, as you may...(I dearly hope someone! did)...have noticed. Between the soul sucking, energy sapping, sleep robbing, interest killing ,heat and humidity I either have been unable or unwilling to write anything.

A quick recap of my past few days and more details tomorrow.

Monday morning, the 4th of July, the door on the shed declared it's independence and seceded, 'breaking away' from it's bonds and shackles and ripping away from the screws in it's hinges. It is a slab of pressed sawdust/particle/chip board and is in the process of "un-pressing" itself into piles of crumbled, rotted, waterlogged, dust or mush, depending on the humidity. So for now, because of the way it has warped and swelled in places, I can jam and wedge it into the door frame and still 'lock' it from inside with my piece of angle iron. When I leave here I can wedge it so it will not fall open or fall in at a casual touch, or even a light shove. I may go to Home Depot and buy a couple cheap long barn door hinges and some really fat screws and borrow one of my son-in-laws battery drills with a screwdriver bit and see if I can do a 'quick and dirty' job of re-hanging it. I may have to use some pieces of scrap wood to 'junkyard engineer' it. I'm not investing too much time or money though, I'm trying to find another location that is "hidden in plain sight" , or somewhere to pitch a tent or construct a small but cozy little shack like I've been seeing in some of the websites I follow, both homeless oriented, and 'tiny home' focused.

Anyway, having the door, and it is HEAVY, fall on me first thing Monday morning was no fun. I went to the coffee shop for a couple hours and then over to Jenn's to spend the night babysitting the hellions.

Tuesday morning I left my bags at Jenn's and took the bus over to pick up Rachel. We took the Light Rail out to Lutherville and the bus down to Towson to Towsontown Centre, the upscale mall, (and both the mall and some of the stores, and some of the customers are prettttty fancy), to visit Build-A-Bear to buy here her birthday present at last. More on that, and my re-enactment of one of former President Jimmy Carter's famous statements. (Try to guess which one....answer tomorrow....lol). Then it was bus/train/bus back to Rachel's for a while, and then I caught the bus over to Jenn's to get my bags. They were on the way out to see

"Cars 2" so I hung out in the A/C , (IT WAS hot!!!!!!!! 95+ with a 'Heat Index 4-6 degrees higher!), showered and grabbed the 10:00 pm. bus up here to the shed.

Sleep has been a real challenge the past week, both here and at Jenn's

Wednesday and Thursday I'll fill you in on tomorrow, along with some harsh commentary on how the celebration of Independence Day by the 'ghetto moron' element has gotten out of hand, which anybody who has seen a newspaper or TV should know by now. What you don't hear about are the cases of them throwing lit fireworks at Homeless people, (and others too), for kicks.....as the burn holes from sparks in my tee shirt can attest too.

Later.......................................Dave

And while I used the term MIA in jest, don't forget that there are still many Homeless Veterans out there who for many different reasons are truly Missing In Action. From there families and friends and from the agencies and organizations who could help them.

http://www.nchv.org/

National Coalition for Homeless Veterans

Click the link, see what you can do to help today,

to help them tomorrow.

"Not So Much Independence Day Weekend................As Isolationist; ......A Lot Of Alone Time......Wanted Or Not!............."

Good Evening;

I'm over Jenn's again killing a few hours inside with the A/C until I catch the last bus up to the shed, at 12:30 am. The grandkids are SUPPOSED to be asleep, and Jenn is lying down in the back. Tom is out on a DJ job and will be home around 1:00 am.

I spent most of the day at the coffee shop sitting out the humidity. It was pretty brutal out there and there was no place I wanted to be or event to go to alone.

Saturday, it was down to Monkees, then to the Giant to get a steak, and over to Jenn's for my day alone inside. I talked to Rachel on the phone and she was sticking close to her mom, acting as her nurse. We are going to Build-A-Bear at the Towsontown Center on Tuesday or Wednesday to get the birthday present she wants...I got my money for the month on Saturday, thank goodness.

Monday the 4th, Independence Day I'll be heading over here again to monstersit in the afternoon and evening because Tom has another wedding to DJ and Jenn has her Home Group. It may end up a night on the couch, which sounds good because of the weather forecast all week, low to mid 90s and sick humidity with a good chance of thunderstorms.

What I'm going to do the earlier part of the day is not determined yet. I'm still hurting in my abdomen from the issues I outlined in one of last weeks posts.

I also did something to my right shoulder...pulled or wrenched it in my sleep possibly, or pinched another nerve in the spinal column due to the damn messed up discs. More joy. (I'll tell you one thing though, when I left here Friday night I left all my bags except for the computer and a water bottle in a small jump bag....traveling around that night and Saturday morning until I got back here just after Noon was like heaven, not carrying all the things I can't afford to leave in the shed.)

Anyway, I'm not getting hyped up about rushing around to try to have a good time, the inevitable sense of let down that would follow will do the slowly building depression no good.

See you tomorrow,

Later........................Dave

"Lazy Weekend..............."

Good Evening;

Well it's been a real lazy day. I was up early for no reason and turned on the computer to find an e-mail from Jenn asking if I wanted to come by tomorrow, Saturday and hang out in the A/C with the cable.......the catch being that I just had to take care of the 'four furry f*cks' , ie. the dog and cats, while they were away for the day and evening at Tom's moms's for 4th of July/40th Birthday party for Tom.

I answered yes and said I'd be by to get the keys and also to grab some coffee and a couple sandwiches out of the freezer on my way to the Metro subway. I played with the grandkids for a while, actually only with Edward because 'Devin the Diva' was in one of her 'Greta Garbo' moods.....'doan talk to meeee.....leee me alone' with the hand held up palm forward.......3 year old little brat.....lol.

Having nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no money to do it with.....I offered to clean out the cat's litter box if I could hang out while they went out today. So I've been vegging out and napping all day, and I'll be leaving in an hour or so to head up to the shed and heading back down here in the morning. I also have to go over to East Baltimore and meet Monkee in the morning to pick up some meds.

It is supposed to be in the 90's and with high humidity tomorrow, and I have no plans, so I'll probably just chill again. I am going to see what Rachel is doing and possibly pick her up on the way back from Monkees to spend the day. Sunday may be a "pool day" with her at her mother's apartment complex pool again.

I may be back on tonight,

Later....................................Dave

"Waiting For The Independence Day Weekend................................"

Good Morning;

Nothing very exciting the past 2 days.

Wednesday, I babysat the grandkids and showered over Jenn's.

Thursday I washed clothes and showered over there and had some time alone while they were out and before Tom got home. Both times I cruised over to the coffee shop and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening there.

Right now I'm just trying to stay relaxed and not stress over whether I'll see any money on my card on Saturday the 2nd. I see that my phone just got it's monthly 250 minutes, and all I need for tomorrow is 7 cents more for a bus pass. I've got some breakfast sandwiches and 'rescue doughnuts' to get me through until Saturday.

I'll be back later in the day...................

Later.....................................Dave