"You Could Look It Up.........."

Good Evening;

It's amazing how much time you can waste in the library, especially since the introduction of the Internet!

youtube

Alright, I give up, nobody wants to play, so there it is, yeah that little underlined bit..just click it...no, go ahead, it's okay, I'll wait.....

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so, you're back, pretty silly huh?, now YOU are as guilty as ME as of wasting time online!

See you tomorrow....same Bat(sh*t) time, same Bat(sh*t) channel!

.......Dave

"What Do You Mean You Don't Understand????......Aren't I Speaking English???........"

Good afternoon:

Are We Having Fun Yet?

הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים

(Harahefet sh'eli mele'ah betzlofahim)

Hebrew

Tá m'árthach foluaineach lán d'eascainn

Gaelic

Il mio hovercraft/aeroscivolante è pieno di anguille

Italian

내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요

(Nae hoebuhkeurapeuteuneun changuhro kadeuk cha isseyo)

Korean

Somebody ought to figure it out.....

Min svävare är full med ål

Min svävare är full med ålar

Swedish

Ọkọ afategun-sare mi kun fun ẹja arọ

Yoruba

Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas

Spanish

(ḥawwāmtī mumtil'ah bi'anqalaysūn)

حَوّامتي مُمْتِلئة بِأَنْقَلَيْسون

Arabic

我的氣墊船裝滿了鱔魚

[我的气垫船充满了鳝鱼]

(Wǒ de qìdiànchuán zhuāngmǎn le shànyú)

Chinese

(Mandarin)

Mon aéroglisseur est plein d'anguilles

French

Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist voller Aale

German

मेरी मँडराने वाली नाव सर्पमीनों से भरी ह

(merī ṃḍarāne vālī nāv sarpamīnoṁ se bharī hai)

Hindi

ROTFLMAO.................Dave

"Tom Petty, Lori Petty, Richard Petty, Mr. Pettibone, Petticoat Junction, Petty Officer, Petty Cash.........................."

Good Afternoon;

Well it is certainly a beautiful day out, I could bounce back and forth across the equator from Spring to Autumn and back and never miss Winter and only occasionally desire Summer.

As I was packing to leave the library last night my phone rang and it was Allan asking "Where've you been and are you okay", he said a bunch of folks at the Starbucks have been worrying also. [Which is the same thing Monkee asked], (I have not been up to the St. Thomas store for about 2 weeks due to the construction causing the loss of the outdoor seating, the broken heat & air conditioning system, and the general air of tension that has seemed to been permeating the place, and the fact that I get there and stay, because the bus schedule is so limited and limiting, and it is just generally out of the way from everywhere else I want or need to be...[I miss talking to Richard, Nathan..[and his daughter], and Ted though, and seeing a few others also, Mary and her husband...{my mind just blanked on his name}, and Tony and his girlfriend.}...).

Allan had some clothes for me, 2 really decent high quality heavy weight hoodies..(University Of Maryland...GO TERPS!!...lol)..that were XXL and fit! Also 2 pairs of sweat pants, not matching sets...alas,but still nice, which are only XL but will be good enough to sleep in if they are too snug..(you REALLY don't want to see my silhouette in tight stretchy fleece.....LOL!!), but I have not tried them on yet, so the jury is still out...(oh hell, bad metaphor at the moment.....lol). We sat and talked for 45 minutes or so in his SUV, which is beginning to be a kind of semi-regular nightly ritual around 9:00 to 10:00 pm. And that was just an observation, not a complaint..it's been a good thing, an outlet for both of us. You know, that male bonding thing....."I love you, man"...."You're not getting my Bud Light!".................rotfl!

Okay, here is an example of how some people think every homeless person is going to steal or scam from a store, and an illustration of one woman's control and domination issues. I have been going into the Pikesville 'Gucci' Giant for the past 9 months on a daily, (and sometimes twice or more), basis, and before that regularly over the past 10?-15?-20?, how ever many years they have been open. I know, and am known to, at least 1/2 the employees by sight and to greet, and maybe a quarter of them by name and to converse with familiarly. As soon as I walk in I place my bag in an out of the way corner, so there is no semblance of shoplifting to be imagined in any way and to avoid any misunderstanding with security.

So.... there are a few who are almost sullen in their attitudes and facial expressions and only grudgingly acknowledge a greeting because of company policy. Of these, there are a couple who stare at me as I come in and seem to be watching and waiting for some sort of overt criminal act by me. Now I spend most of my food budget in this store, know management by name and have NEVER done or intimated that I was about to, anything that would lead one to think I was stealing or otherwise committing an illegal act. The worst thing I do is to taste the salad bar at times to see the seasoning level of a product.

I regularly buy the 'day old' or 'oops' baked goods from the discounted shelf and when I am using a debit card with no cash access, I'll sometimes pay the full value for the item and then go to Customer Service desk and redeem the coupon for cash..AT A MAXIMUM VALUE OF $1.50!!!!!.. Now remember this is after the product has been paid for, and within minutes and sometimes seconds of purchase. This is my coffee or bus fare cash on some days, and has been going on, with many different cashiers, for about 2 years. One card I have has a bad magnetic strip and has to be manually entered by a cashier, when I choose to go through the self service registers, I press the button for "Pay Cashier" get a receipt and stand right in front of the "Self Service Assistance Register"...every time!, for the past 3 months or so since the strip went bad.

So today....this one woman cashier, one of the 'attitudinal' folks, is watching me, and pounces on the pastry container to get the coupon off. I tell her, No Thanks, I'll deal with it, and she goes on and on and on about how I HAVE to use it RIGHT NOW!!!, or it is no good...yadda yadda yadda... I tried telling her I do this all the time and I know what I am doing, which only infuriates her..yes that is the proper word.. I mean, she was about to go 'Linda Blair' on me, I was waiting for the head spins and the pea soup.....welllll maybe I exaggerate a wee bit, but it was a bit bizarre. She went to another cashier and they were whispering together, and when I went to pay for my groceries, the second cashier, who knows who I am and sees me all the time, and has dealt with my card before, acts as if she does not know what I want, when I am standing there with the special receipt with the bar codes on it to be scanned. And then when I hand her the card to be punched in she says.."you can just swipe that..".....Uh-Huh, sure. So I go to the customer service desk and see them huddled around the lectern a few feet away, waiting to pounce on me like a couple of vultures watching a dying rabbit. As I offer the coupon to the cust. svc. cashier....the first one jumps in like an I.C.E. agent at a Home Depot, telling me I can't get my money or discount now, it's too late. The poor cust. svc. woman looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, (she has been doing this for me and anyone else who presented a coupon and proof of purchase..all legal..for what..2 years or so?), I told her just to do what she felt was right for her, and if she could not reimburse me, just cancel the sale and refund my money, and if necessary credit it back to the card, (which is a pain in the ass for them and WHY everyone else just returns cash). She gave me the $1.50 and said she would not do it anymore, and I don't hold anything against her, she was unfairly pressured by the first cashier. The first woman put more surveillance effort into trying to keep me from $1.50 than Homeland Security and NSA trying to find Osama Bin Laden! I just smiled a lot and rolled with the flow, willing to take whatever form the the refund came in, today being one of those times when it really made no big deal. It is not clear to me whether this whole incident is silly or sad.

Some folks are just petty.

I'll see you later..................Dave

"Freefallin'...................................."

Good Evening;

Just wanted to let all the 'Baltimorons' reading this know that it is October and again time for " Free Fall Baltimoe", where most all museums are free of admission charge and many attractions have special days of free admission and also special programs.

Go to www.freefallbaltimore.com and plan your month. Last year Rachel and I hit the BMA, the Walters, the Streetcar Museum and others. I think we will be going to the B&O Railroad Museum on Tuesday, and the Maryland Science Center is free on the 9th and the 30th. and we are signed up for Baltimore Clayworks Family Workshops on the 31st.

Check it out, it is NOT all for kids either, in fact most is not....

Closing time...............nighty night.....................Dave

"Sleep Is A Symptom Of Caffeine Deprivation...........OR................DeCaf?.............What's The Point?................"

Good Afternoon;

It has been a very late laid back lazy day so far, I am still adjusting my body clock I think. After I left here at close last night I went to the "Plywood Palace" and fell right to sleep after reading the same paragraph in a book 8 times without remembering it, this was before 10:00 pm. I did not wake up until around 6:30 am. when the old bladder became extremely insistent. (It is dark again at 6:30 (am.) that sucks, and,..I'm looking out the window and it is pretty dim out and it is only 6:15 pm. now, that sucks even more...hello S.A.D.) I took my meds, (and remind me later to tell about the efficiency and competence of the medical personnel at the jail), and lay back down for a few minutes, when I looked at the time, thinking it is about 9:00 am. or so..it was 11:44 am! Anybody think that I was nearing complete physical exhaustion? I mean when the pallet I have made of steel shelving and cardboard allows me to sleep better than the pad at BCDC or the bed at the motel, you know I was on the edge of collapse. The lack of sleep at the jail is pretty much self explanatory with the noise, the lights, the frequent counts and being awakened for ID checks, and just generally sleeping with one eye open as a self defensive measure, not to mention 'breakfast' being 'served' at 4:30 am. in the morning. I think the motel problem was excess adrenaline, not being used to a real..(and somewhat swaybacked and too soft...lol)..mattress, and cable TV with a remote..(hey I'm a guy, right...lol).

I walked over to the Giant got a cup of coffee and something for lunch and went out and sat in the succoh on the sidewalk, which damn near imitated the house in the 'Wizard Of OZ', it was that windy. In the middle of my lunch some of the employees ended up coming out to relocate it back against the wall where it had been blown away from. Then here to the library all day, and most likely for the next few hours also, I really have nowhere to go until sleep time.

I just submitted ANOTHER online application to DORS, and there is currently a six to twelve, (6 to 12), month waiting list for the SIGNIFICANTLY disabled, AKA...B.C.C....(Blind..Crippled..or Crazy.....kinda like most of the women I've ever dated...lol!), which category I do not fall into, so the wait is even longer as they "do not expect to serve individuals with non-severe disabilities in the foreseeable future". Of course there is no clear list or breakdown of what is what. What I need is someone 'inside' to 'grease the skids' so to say, bypassing the multiple layers of bureaucracy that I am in no way able to deal with, and which ends up with me more depressed and damn near suicidal and hopeless each time I try to navigate through them myself...I don't want to sound like I'm whining, I'm just sayin' that I "been there, done that and did NOT even get the tee shirt!".

I was playing around on Facebook and somehow, by viewing the friends of friends of friends of friends of friends I found someone who was an integral and important part of my life for a very intense and passionate period. Contact has been initiated confirmed and I await more responses. There are some people with whom you share such deep intimacy that they are closer than family, she was one, .....and no WE were never lovers, but I was there when the love affairs crashed and burned. I am both excited and anxious, and a little embarrassed, due to my situation.

I don't use Facebook for anything but making contacts, (preferring my e-mail, and spending my limited time and access to the computer on this blog and for business and research), but it has proved invaluable in allowing me to retain a sense of connection and community in the basic middle class milieu in which I feel most comfortable and as a way to escape or deny the bottom rung, dregs of society population which so many homeless folks circulate in either through choice, addiction, mental illness or total lack of opportunity.

Anyway, I'm done here, unless I think of something witty to say before the library closes. See you tomorrow.............Dave

"Don't Second Guess Intuition........OR.......Next Time,...Go With Your Gut,,,And...."Keep On Truckin'.."!......"

Good Evening;

Today was one of those proverbial 'good days'. I spent the night at the motel last night, slept in a real bed, took 2 (two) loonnggg HOT showers, had some real food that is fit and qualified for human consumption and did not come slopped on a beat up plastic 'heat saving...HAH!...tray' by inmate workers and doled out by an indifferent..at best..'correctional' officer, who is either some kind of Dirty Harry wannabe, 'hood rat sista', or mirror image thug in a blue uniform. I left there at 10:59 am. on the dot, (damn skippy, I'm gonna get every pennies worth.........lol!), after drinking the 'free breakfast'...again...HAH!...dry of coffee, (the first REAL coffee in almost a week..the burnt pecan shell/ chicory mix does not count). I walked over to Rachel's mom's house and we all (the three of us and her older (1/2) brother Nosson) all went to the Gucci Goodwill Store in Owings Mills where I wanted to find a pair of long pants, since I had none that were wearable, but no such luck, my anxiety and agoraphobia combined with the total lack of order or size tags afflict me with a kind of 'shopping disorder', and we left and went to Target where I lucked out, nice normal REGULAR FIT!!!!!! jeans on sale, $7.98 a pair. Not a name brand but a reliable facsimile thereof, if I can trade some food credit tomorrow, I'm going to get at least one more pair. I cannot remember when I last had pair of plain blue denims..cutoffs yes, but long pants...2 and 1/2 years maybe?? Rachel and I then had a nice walk down Reisterstown Rd. to the Giant where we put together meat and salad and fruit and had a nice leisurely lunch inside the Succoh that is erected there. We got a call saying the 'Ex' was in the meat dept. inside and where were we and did we need a ride, Rachel giggled and snuck up on her and "surprised"...(wink, wink..lol!)....her, and we went back to the house to drop off the groceries, get my bag, and back to the library, where I got out..and here I sit until close at 9:00 pm, playing on the computer.

I got an e-mail from Neil alerting me to a company/program of Lifebridge Health/Sinai Hospital named VSP which offers rehabilitation and retraining services. http://www.lifebridgehealth.org/lifebridgebody.cfm?id=1923 I am going to look into this organization, other than the blog this homeless sh*t is getting old, and so am I, (and NO lol here this time!).

After this past months beginning with getting locked up I figure things have no where to go but up.

The Details:

I was panhandling on Thursday afternoon and had a feeling that it was time to split, but decided to try for another dollar or two on the next two light changes, when I saw the cop car coming over the hill and around the bend. I folded my sign and started to walk away..But...too late, these guys came around the corner and made a U-turn and that was all she wrote. I told you yesterday that they were really decent guys who went an extra mile to give me the only breaks they could, one of the reasons being that it was a Civil warrant, not a criminal one, others being my total cooperation and good nature..(fatalistic??).. about it all, and there being no evidence of drugs, guns, etc. It was an FTA for the court date I so "intelligently"...and a third time...HAH!!!...blew off in June because there was no way I was coming up with $300.00 and had no interest in sitting in jail for either contempt, or a " Learning Experience". So I sat for 3 days and on the fourth day-'God Created lights in the firmament'........no no no wrong story,(then again....maybe not, I've seen SOME kind of light and...."Somethings Gotta Give" as the song says.....[written by Johnny Mercer, 1955 for Fred Astaire, for the movie "Daddy Long Legs"].....{also the title of the Jack Nicholson Diane Keaton film}..)-I sat in the cage at the Sheriff's office and faced the 'dragon lady of child support', who actually cut me a break...again...and gave me another court date for October 21st, instead of sending me before the judge for the FTA charge, and then sat for 4 more hours until he signed the release order and I got out. Then I came here...and add in the above from today....we're up to date.

Now I have to go see if my sleeping bag is still there and lay my head down.

I'll see you all tomorrow..............Dave

"Where's WALDO?????.....The Hell With Waldo....Where's DAVE????????????.........................."

Good Evening Loyal Readers;

Sorry about the gap in the posts over the past 98 hours and 47 minutes, (not that I was counting.....LOL!), but for some reason BCDC in Towson would not play on their computers...they're no fun!, (neither were the handcuffs, shackles, gates, bars, razor wire, locked cell doors, etc., etc., etc.,.......!!, if you have not guessed by now...BCDC is the Baltimore County Detention Center)........[lol!.....NOT!!!!]. The past few days have not been a whole hell of a lot of fun, (granted it could have been one hell of a lot worse!!), so I'm just going to check in and say, "Hello, I'm safe and I'm free." More details tomorrow.

A couple of comments before I go and look for a cheap room tonight, (and damn the extravagance, it's been 6 months or so since the last time, and my mental health needs a boost, a break, and a bed......{the concrete floor or the slabs of steel covered by a cheap thin pad of the past 4 nights don't count}....and a long hot shower and then a long hot bath are not luxuries tonight but necessities!).

First;

The city cops who stopped me and ran my ID, and found a warrant for an FTA, were 3 of the coolest and considerate guys I've met in a long time. After determining that I was not one of the 'junkie crew' from the corner, they were apologetic that they had run the ID and the warrant popped up and they had to follow through with the arrest. They actually drove me all the way to the Ex'es house from the corner of I-83 and North Ave. so I could drop off my bag so it would not disappear before they took me to Central Booking in the city, and called the county sheriff's, who showed up even before I was finished being processed, for transfer to the BCDC.

That is Above and Beyond!!!....Thanks guys, you know who you are!!...(and SORRY if the information in the previous post was less than 100% accurate, I should have known better than to rely on 'completely unbiased'..(yeah right)..stories from ..."you know who").

Second;

We have had a visitor from the Russian Federation, who was referred to the blog site after Googling.....

"{Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей}....

......{Moio sudno na vozdušnoy poduške polno ugrey}........

I'm still waiting for a comment from some of you.

(Maybe it's just me, but the absurdity of the statement cracks me up...lol.)

Last;

The "C.O.s" (Correctional Officers of the Division of Pretrial Detention and Services) at "the Bookings" or "Central Booking" (BCBIC= Baltimore Central Booking And Intake Center) have a real scam going on, when my property and money was inventoried, the bills (paper money) was counted and placed in an envelope for me to confirm and sign off on, but the coin was left sitting on the counter, and not just mine, I saw this happen to at least 4 other people's coins, I know I had at least $1.80 in coin because some one had just given me 7 quarters and a nickel, and I had already had some coins in my pocket previously. Being in fact, one of the largest ' arrest and booking centers' in the country, the volume of people through there is phenomenal, as is the amount of change possible to 'miscount'....and the only witnesses are the ones in no position to make any waves or have any impact. I'm not saying ALL the C.O.s are crooked but this is only the tip of a very large iceberg, as can be evidenced by the recent examples of 'contraband' found in the facility, most of which could only be smuggled in by or "overlooked during initial search'..wink wink, nod nod.. C.O.s. More later.

Good night all, I'll be back some time tomorrow, hopefully.

I have tentative plans to see Rachel on Tuesday to do something....ANYTHING!!!!!

I saw her this afternoon when I picked my bag up and she was very excited to see me, and about tomorrow. She was going bowling for the first time, after dinner tonight, so that shoots down that idea I had, I hope they take pictures.

Later.............Dave

".....'Oderint dum metuant'..........OR The New Motto Of Some Of Baltimore City's Finest?.........."

Good Morning;

Yesterday I saw the young woman who was taken off the corner by some of the 'knockers' last week. She and her boyfriend and I crossed paths at the Lightrail Station and I asked how she made out. It turns out that she was never even charged or actually arrested, although threatened with both trumped up charges and detention if she did not cooperate with the police and act as an (unwilling) informant and make a 'controlled buy' with marked bills in sight of a covertly stationed undercover officer who would watch and witness the transaction....(can you spell "Coercion" boys and girls?)...She called their bluff and since she was neither 'dirty' nor 'wanted', they were forced to let her go, of course at the location where they had taken her to force her to work for them NOT where she was picked up....Petty inconveniences and harassment, that'll win friends and influence people....and the cops wonder why there is 'stop snitching' culture..(which I do NOT agree with, I must strongly declare...but I DO comprehend)..on the streets of "Bulletmore, Murderland" as it is called in the hood.

Okay, I've got to sign off now, because I am getting nauseous from the smell of rotten stale and half burnt tobacco reeking off the guy next to me.....

I'm outta here before I puke............back later.........Dave

"Tragedy.............AND............Travesty.............."

Good Morning Again;

In the Baltimore Sun today...Wed.-09/30/09... ( www.baltsun.com ) there is a front page article about 2 PhD. drug researchers who were shooting up illegally imported from India by way of the Internet, Buprenorphine. Stupid..Stupid..Stupid!!! I'm sorry the woman died, but Holy F*ckin' Sh*t!!!, the very people who should know better!

No guarantee of quality or 'fillers', injecting a drug not meant to be, and combinations of drugs that have either unknown or deadly or dangerous interactions.....come on fools!

The article is full of semi-accurate misleading statements and sensationalized mis-information.

Such as $50.00 street prices for a pill and the amount of abuse and diversion of thr drug that was found by the Baltimore City Grand Jury Investigation.

Now, in typical kneejerk reaction, the uninformed are screaming about 'enforcement' and 'the war on drugs' with all the fervor of a lynch mob.

Another thing I have to stress over, besides my normal everyday crap....

(I have $0.15 cents, no food, and crazy cops hassling homeless and panhandlers, medical care access is in limbo at present, I need clothes, and I have not seen Rachel in close to a month, and the increasing isolation and lack of human intimacy and physical contact I am feeling, and I do not only mean getting laid, though in all seriousness that is a factor too, and increasing pain and discomfort from???.....)

Over zealous fanatics with a lockstep PC mentality trying to take away, control or limit the availability of the one medication that actually works....for me, and hundreds of thousands of others, as a true addiction treatment and suppressant of cravings, a non-increasing tolerance pain medication, and as an anti-depressant in cases where others have not worked.

See you later.......Dave

"Black Please ...No Cream, No Sugar........No Aloe Vera!...................."

Good Morning;

I am here just as the library opens to insert an important clarification/explanation and possible apology concerning a statement I made about the lack of intellectual stimulation I felt I was receiving at the St. Thomas Starbucks. I should have made it clear that I was talking about the quantity or frequency of, and NOT the Quality of the discussions and the people with whom I conversed. I truly enjoy and eagerly look forward to meeting and chatting and exchanging ideas with the likes of Nathan and Rich and Ted and Mike and Olga and Allie, et. al. It was the..."Non-crapita per capita",...(I just made that up; short, sweet, and succinct, and if I gotta explain it...well............LOL),... ratio I was referring to.

The reason for this disclaimer is because of an incident in the Giant this morning; As I was taking a sip of my coffee, semi-conscious and fuzzy headed with clogged sinuses, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a flash of glittering light on a pale flat spoked object with brightly colored ends traveling in an arc towards the back of my head. At the same time, my hearing being hampered by clogged Eustachian tubes, I heard a low slow droning noise that did not filter past the blockage in my ears. Now my reflexes being somewhat sluggish and the 'input to analysis to reaction factor' being proportionately skewed, I began to turn my head before it registered that what I was seeing was the reflection/refraction of the lighting off of a diamond set in a ring on the spread fingers of a well manicured and gaily polished hand, resulting in the the contact with my poor, innocent, and unsuspecting head being not where it was intended, i.e. on the back of my skull, but....directly in line with the upturned cup of fresh, hot, full, and as yet lidless just purchased coffee. You may well imagine the consequences, after the 'shock and awe' passed, and the 'adrenal gland stimulated nerve deadening time delay' wore off. Everything suddenly 'snapped and clicked', and in the same instant that the pain registered, recognition also kicked in. Things were a bit confused for a few moments as the first thing I tried to determine was if I should 'sh*t or git' as the fight or flight instinct took hold,..then a little voice said "water, cold water, quickly....!" and I went and stuck my face in the water fountain....(and this being Pikesville, some nosey little old 'yenta' with nothing better to do comes over and tells me I can't "wash my face in the water cooler, and that she needed to take her pills soon...", at this point the droning noise I had heard finally worked it's way through to comprhension and translated to be my friend's..(who wishes to remain anonymous....after this morning, who can blame her....lol) voice in a mock New York Bubbie accent saying.."So Vhat Am I, Chopped Liver?", and I realized she was hovering nervously next to me asking if she should call the ambulance or not. By this time, hysteria has set in and I'm cracking up at the absurdity and irony of it all, and everyone is looking at me as if I am about to go postal, which only sets me off again as they all slowly slide a bit farther back.

Well I eventually get myself under control and go change my shirt...(and my shorts, for different reasons), and wash my face in the restroom, checking to see if I'm blistered on my face or chest from the coffee...{nope, just a bit red, which is fading, and I smell like a roastery.......lol}.

So.......in the immortal words of Elton John...

"Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano Player!"

If I did not mention your name, don't worry....you ARE one of the people who I count as part of my 'think tank'........lol.

In closing I just want to say.......OW! OW! OW! OW!.....HOT! HOT! HOT!

later........Dave

"{Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей}..........{Moio sudno na vozdušnoy poduške polno ugrey}........

Good Morning;

C'mon now folks, NO comments on the translation of the phrase in the title, which I included in a post a few weeks ago?? I expected some sort of comment or an e-mail, just for sh*ts and giggles. Is no one as inquisitive, ambitious, and ridiculous as I am?

If you have to learn one sentence in Russian...this has to be the perfect one.

It's a glorious day outside, sunny cool, with a brisk breeze blowing, and as the song...['Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes'] says......

"So many nights I just dream of the ocean, / God, I wish was sailing again"

(I watched the DVD that was with the double live CD of Jimmy Buffett "Live In Anguilla" last night............................... and

"I'm teetering on the razors edge of frustration,

balanced precariously,

between inspiration and desperation"

So I made it almost to sundown yesterday while fasting, but my blood pressure which has been hovering around 190/85 started to spike, and my blood sugar seemed real low, so I ate dinner when I arrived at the Mt. Washington Starbucks about 5:30 pm. and felt better.

I read, and as I said, listened and watched Jimmy until closing.

Now I have again stirred up all the salt water in my blood and the tidal pull on my 'Caribbean Soul' is calling me homeward.

Of course he played CSN's 'Southern Cross', so my 'French Polynesian Soul' has also been aroused, and I had to place a hold at the library and order the Jimmy Buffett "Live In Hawaii" CD/DVD set, and now I'm trying to find a copy of the movie "Donovan's Reef".

Maybe it's my way of trying to simplify my life, beginning the process of 'de-evolving', by following the primal urge to return to the oceans. I'll keep you updated if I begin to grow webs or gills.

I'm out of here for now, it's too nice out to waste away inside, and I need coffee too. It's a coin flip at this point which coffee shop I'm going to. I do have to find some cash somehow, I'm down to the last quarter (2mg.) of a bupe, and I need to get enough for the next 3 days, as I am expecting..(I HOPE)..a little bit of money on Friday.

I'll be back later...........Dave

P.S.

.......Semantics Lesson.........

On a tropical island,

Homeless = Beachcomber

a very respectable profession...........lol

"Trading Places..............??????................."

Good afternoon;

So when I left here on Saturday, I went over and sat with Allan talked with him about his adventures in 'Bedpan Bedlam', AKA Sinai Hospital of Baltimore. One hell of a ride, broken toe leads to leaking blood vessel, leads to infection, leads to the edge of gangrene, leads to surgery, leads to massive doses of IV antibiotics (administered directly into the main ventral line), with side trips into medtech incompetency and near malpractice, ending with discharge and a Daily return for 30 days to have the antibiotics injected through the catheter that is still in his chest and with tubes taped all the way over and down his arm.

All I can say is, "WOW, this sh*t does happen to other people..not just me...Vindication!!!".........LOL, (sorry Allan).

As we left the library, I was heading to Monkee's, and then out to Lutherville to Anna Marie's, and he offered to take me to the Metro, which then became the Light Rail, which ended up being "What the heck, I feel like driving." and ended up being all the way to East Baltimore and Monkee's, which somehow became a cruise up I-83 and over to the Lutherville Light Rail Stop.

Thanks Buddy!!

It saved me so much time I actually ahd to sit at the Light Rail for a half an hour before she came home and I could walk over! Of course the rain decide to begin in earnest at that point, but I made it across the stream before it rose to cover the stepping stones.

I washed and showered and we had dinner and talked and watched TV, it was so wonderfully boring and domestic.....lol!

She took me back to the Light Rail in the car, early for a change, (usually we cannot stop talking and I just catch the last train, which means it takes until 4:00 am. to get back to the shed), and I was at the gas station before Midnight. (Where I spent my dollar on the Keno and ended up $20.00 ahead at the end of the night).

On Sunday, I took advantage of the free coffee at the Giant, (quite a few times, I have to shamefacedly admit...lol), and took my purchases of breakfast out to the bench in front of the library and sat eating and reading for a good 3 hours. I was still leery of going down to the corner, and the $20.00 form the night before seemed to be an omen NOT to, so I stayed at Mt Washington At the Starbucks instead of going farther in town to North Ave. It was a wonderful day to sit outside..so I did, switching from back to front of the building to follow the shade. I went into Whole Foods to look around...Bad Idea!! when you are have both money in your pocket and a craving for 'something different', suffice it to say I made a number of trips back and forth and depleted any reserve funds I may have had...but damn if it wasn't a deliciously guilty diversion.

As I was leaving at closing time, about to walk the path under the JFX back to the train, a car pulls up and beeps the horn. It's Allan, and he had been in Whole Foods getting a salad for his dinner. I threw my bags in the back of his truck and we drove back to Pikesville and satin the Giant parking lot for 2 hours or more 'shooting the sh*t', as guys do. Then it was off to the gas station to lose at the Keno and wash up..then bed.

This morning, Monday, I went into the Giant and bought some food, (which I still have not eaten, and I think I will make it to sundown, and 'Break-Fast', in the true meaning of the word, [an "inadvertent"?!? fast ..for Yom Kippur..,"coincidence"?!?, because I had no plans to fast, actually.]...), and ran into Mitch, from the St. Thomas Starbucks, and his companion, Hannah.

Then I hit the library for a "few minutes"......LOL!, and since it was so nice out I was going to spend the day sitting outside somewhere drinking coffee...(see I told you I had no 'plans' to fast). the last time I stepped outside it had clouded up some but was still comfortable, I went out between signoffs and signups...(of which there were many today!..), a minute ago, about 4:00 pm. and it is now pouring down rain, so I am kind of stuck here, (and I am bored enough with the library to want to leave now...lol), so now I don't know what or where or when I am doing/going.

I really did not want to go out to the Owings Mills sore because I am realizing that it is contributing to my physical and intellectual stagnation, and it is just too far off the (frequent) bus and train lines to allow for easy and spontaneous movement...anywhere! Which means more eating and less exercise and it's inevitable results.

A couple days at Mt. Washington among the varied and diverse patrons there was as much stimulation as a weeks worth of the 'burbs', plus it takes more effort to get there, if only a mile more walking.

If the rain slackens I still may go to the Mt. Washington coffee shop today, I'm not going to the corner though... if the rain keeps up..St. Thomas is the default.

I'm down to the last $4.50 in my possession, so tomorrow I may have to stand out and try to get enough to last until the 2nd of October, when I am hoping to get a little bit of cash. It is just that time again, end of the month, bus pass about to expire, no food credits left, and no minutes left on the cell phone......C'MON FRIDAY!!!!

I'll see you later..............Dave

"גמר חתימה טובה .............Gmar Hatima Tovah..............May You Be Inscribed In The Book Of Life, For Good!..............."

Good Morning;

It is Yom Kippur, probably the most important day in the Jewish religion and even though I am not in synagogue, and do not feel any connection to the community here, and I am not fasting this year, (though now that I consider it, since I have not yet eaten, from before sunset last night, even if it is by circumstance and not by conscious choice...technically, I AM!....is this a sign or just coincidence??, hmmmmm?, Maybe I'll just see how I feel and how my blood pressure reacts and take it hour by hour until sundown..), I still take the time to stop and give thanks and ask to be given the opportunity to muddle through another year. And of course to at least and admit and acknowledge the sins, mistakes, errors, faults, shortcomings, call them what you wish, of my actions or in many cases, non- or in- actions of the past year, those so called 'sins of omission' that are so easy to overlook and/or justify. And I am...'Guilty As Charged', your honor, and I plead for leniency and throw myself on the mercy of the court.

Religious or not, devout or not, as confused, conflicted and conf*ckted as I may be, and as tenuous as the connection may be, I still consider myself a Jew, despite what my feelings toward and the opinions of the Orthodox and the Ultra-Orthodox that I ended up in the midst of.

It is the 'Day Of Atonement', and whether one is a believer or not, there is nothing wrong with a day set aside for reflection, introspection, and redirection.

I offer my apologies to those I may have inadvertently hurt.

I beg forgiveness from those who I offended and injured, through intent or indifference.

I gratefully thank everyone who has donated and helped me materially.

I deeply appreciate the folks who have helped me with matters of personal hygiene allowing me to keep mind, body, and soul together.

I humbly and with great humility wish to express my love and affection to the people whose care and concern and compassion, whose sympathy and empathy, tolerance and patience....in light of and in spite of; my moods..(and mood swings), my bouts of depression, apathy, and anxiety, my self doubts and self destructive inertia....whose support never wavered, never faltered, and even if I did not agree, or respond, or acknowledge it, DID and DOES make a difference.

I especially wish to express my infinite and eternal devotion to that tiny community of friends that have become my family, who know my deepest and darkest secrets...and fears...and I theirs.

In a world of interpersonal relationships where I truly believe that only constant is..."EVERYONE LEAVES!"..., these is ONE person who has resisted the pull of time and tide and after 35 years we are still 'together', lives tightly interwoven in a fabric that includes, yet transcends 4 marriages, 4 divorces, numerous lovers, (and extended periods of self imposed celibacy) 5 children, 3 grandchildren, death's of intimate friends(and the 'third' in our circle, whose loss still reverberates), and lovers parents, illness and accident and near death experiences, unspeakable, unimaginable horror and tragedy that only happens to 'other people in the newspaper', addiction and recovery..both first and second hand.

And due to poor timing, overdue awakenings, and karmic irony...

... my soulmate but never my lover, who knew the depth of my feelings, and had the ability and opportunity to abuse them for her own needs, but who chose the bittersweet parallel path to a long term friendship over a short and profitable " l'affaire d'amour '', the woman with whom I'd choose to end my days with, and still keep the ember of hope alive and burning for, but buried deep.

To whom I owe a debt of gratitude I feel can never be fully repaid.

The person who I respect, admire and love most in this world.

You KNOW..(and always have), who you are.

And last but not least, my children, to whom I apologize for not being the Father I truly do have the potential of being, but to whom I have always been the best Daddy possible, I offer the thanks that can never be fully conveyed for giving me a reason to live when all else pointed to the other alternative, and the unrestrained and unconditional love only a child can give.

And of course the ultimate thanks and gratitude go to the Entity, Deity, Being, Power, Force or what have you, commonly called God. I do not profess to know or understand, but I don't have to. I do Believe, in my own way, and that's enough for me.

Thank you all for the past year, (almost), of reading and responding.

.......................Dave

"There But For The Grace Of God Go I.................OR........................Breathe Again, And Slowly Unclench........................."

Good Morning;

[(Time Zone = GMT:-5); Please Adjust Time Of Day Salutation As Needed]

(See post below this one for reference)

{Sometimes Ya Gotta Be Silly To Stay Sane.........LOL}

So, No one can tell me that my luck or whatever you wish to call it does not run in cycles, circles, rhythms, patterns, programs, or what have you. After a couple weeks of crawling IN and scraping the bottom of the barrel suddenly I'm finding myself crawling Out of the horn of plenty..(or Cornucopia for you literate folks....lol).

Twice in 2 days I am loaded up with damn near more food that I can eat before it goes bad, (or disintegrates in transit through unavailability of proper packing and travel containers), sandwiches, salads, fruit and cheese plates and pastries, (the day AFTER I decide to try to lose some weight/flab.....lol). After stretching dollar bills to the breaking point, and not having any luck getting on corner at the 'good' times, and not hitting the Keno for more than $2.00 in a few weeks.....when all at the same time I end up with a bit of cash from a friend, and a decent hour on the corner, with a couple generous donations, and a moderate $25.00 keno hit.

And what really made me realize how "lucky/blessed" I can be at times is a combination of 3 events and/or situations;

First, was the meeting and conversation with my oldest daughter, which seemed to be the starting point of this round of incidences.

Second, was the meeting and greetings of several people who I had not seen for a while. I have met a number of people when I used to stand out on the corner of Mt. Royal Ave. and North Ave. to catch the evening rush hour about to enter onto I-83 North, (Jones Falls Expwy.), who were 'regulars' in the sense that in the few seconds or minutes of conversation that we were able to grab, depending on the timing of the traffic light, we had developed a slight friendship or relationship that was such that some personal details were exchanged and remembered..on both sides..a few degrees beyond mere pleasantries. Small details about families or health or work, even 'entry level emotional intimacies'...(LOL).

Seeing my friend Michelle from MICA, was one.

Another was seeing and speaking to this woman, who has a dazzling smile and who seems truly pleased to see me and appears to actually care and react with her own happiness or sadness in response to my circumstances. When she gives me something it is a $5.00 which is not always but always welcome, but she always stops to say hello. I don't know her name..the same as with most..but I think of her as "the small dark haired woman with the really, really skinny cigarette, (which I have never seen her without...lol), in the little blue car.

There is also a young Chinese woman/girl..(What the hell, I'm 53 and I can't figure out the demarcation line between them anymore, and PC be damned!....lol....and besides that, with many Asian women, 18 or 40 is hard to determine), who waves so enthusiastically and smiles so broadly and brilliantly that it's a joy to see her whether she stops or not. When she does stop, 8 times out of 10 she has a treat for me from China, some native delicacy or sweet that I have no idea what it is because the packaging is not printed for export, and not always illustrated. I have had some interesting and for the most part tasty snacks that probably don't want to know what they are anyway...LOL! (Sometimes her English is not up to the task of describing the ingredients, and the names of the products are typically lyrical and flowery, not practical; e.g., 'delicious gems of harmony ', or 'petals of beauty', or 'crystallized dewdrops'...et.al.). Well, I adhere to the same rules I've taught my children, about ALL foods, (and which Rachel knows, will recite to you in a heartbeat, and really does willingly follow!)...namely..."You Don't Have To Like It...BUT...You Do Have To Try It!!", and I've had some strange and wonderful things, as well as some things that have to be banned under the Geneva Conventions as unfit for consumption, as torture!!...I don't know what this one thing was but it had the texture of grout, the smell of unwashed gym socks and the flavor of lime vomit! Ah...those inscrutable oriental minds!!

Then there is the traveling preacher/lecturer whose tire I changed around 18 months ago and who makes a special trip out of his way just to come by and say hello every time he hits Baltimore, we have missed each other for some months now our 'schedules' happened to coordinate yesterday......lol. Some folks just exude goodness to the point where it seems to rub off like pollen, and after spending time with them, colors seem brighter, worries seem lighter and the world seems just a little bit less nasty.

I've come to realize that meeting a new and constantly varying or even just rotating group of people is essential to my mental health, I feel better some days even if I have not made all that much money, (and if the weather is pleasant...a major factor also), just for having seen and talked to some familiar folks who I do NOT see day in and day out, and possibly met some new acquaintances.

Third...and this is the kicker...I had been out on the corner about 45 minute and had $10.00, (which was basically my goal, enough for my meds for the weekend, I've got an Appt. Monday to see another doctor at the clinic, who may be able to help me), and was just about to call it quits, around 5:00pm., when I saw a cop in line to make a U-turn and come back up past me. Well I will not insult a cop by flaunting my sign in front of them, even if it one of the ones who don't mind or care about panhandling, so I folded up my stuff and turned away. As I crossed the street, with the idea that I would possibly come back when they left, I saw Jillian across the street going to a car that had honked for her. The cops were in the left turn lane and immediately turned on lights and siren and barreled through traffic to the on ramp of I-83 and pulled over and jumped out, all three of them, and surrounded her.

Less than 2 minutes..(literally!).. went past and she was in 'Plasticuffs' and being put in the back of the car and hauled away.

These were all big white guys, the biggest going about 6' 5" and 300 lbs.,in plain clothes, shorts and jeans, etc., who are known on the street as 'the knockers', and usually work narcotics, and Jillian is kind of skinny, about 5' 7" and maybe 130 lbs...(or less, I'd never make any money at the Fair or the carnival at the "Guess Your Weight" booth.....lol!), a bit of overkill.( ya think?)

She and her boyfriend Sean, are fairly nice people and 'say' they are not getting high, but my observations of certain behaviors and bodily indications, on her part at least, lead me to presume..?..infer..?..surmise..?..otherwise, (though I may be wrong, and if so...my apologies).

But they and she in particular have had recent run-ins with certain police officers in the neighborhood and in Hampton, where they 'crash' at a house that charges them $10.00-$20.00 a night to stay.

Hmmmmmm?

Well in my experience..and..as Shakespeare says:

"What's in a name? that which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet;"

And their comments and opinions of cops in general and personal knowledge of the shifts and areas of certain cops tend to imply a two way back and forth familiarity. Again, only my opinions and impressions....

but....I've,

"Been there, done that, got the tee shirt"

But I digress from my original point.

If I had not 'folded my tent and slipped away into the night, like a snake oil salesman at the county fair', at that very moment, it possibly could have have been me going to tour the lovely and hospitable, Central Booking.

Was it luck, serendipity, coincidence.....Divine Intervention?

I don't profess to know, but damn if I'm not grateful!

At this point, I got on the first bus coming down the street, just to get out of sight..(as they were putting her in the car). I got off a half block later and went down to the Light Rail to look for Sean to let him know what happened, (I seem to run into him there as we are getting on/off passing trains), but he was not there. I went to Mt. Washington, to the Starbucks there because they have tables outside, front and back, sun or shade. Ashley was closing and I helped her take the trash down to the dumpster, and she gave me a bag of markouts. I talked to Monkee and made arrangements to meet her today, (when I am done here in fact), and then caught the bus and the train and the bus back to Pikesville, stopped in the gas station, and went in the shed and crawled until the blanket because it really cooled off quick.

I hit the Giant around 7:00 am. this morning and sat outside the library until it opened drinking coffee...FREE!!! this week at the 'Gucci' Giant for the grand opening festivities...(I missed the gift card giveaway by ONE (1) person yesterday).

I am going over to visit Anna Marie, and shower and wash clothes this evening, after I pass by Monkee's house.

I think I'll pass on the corner today, and if I have to, tomorrow, I'll slide down there earlier in the day, for the first shift....is there Raven's home game this Sunday?...if so there may be a better chance that more cops are pulling duty downtown. I hope to end up with some cash next Friday, so I'm going to consider how to stretchhhhh old G

George again this week.

Hey!!, Allan is here, out of the hospital. I'll see you all later..........Dave

"The --'Ayes'--....--'Eyes'--....--" I's "-- Have It.........OR..........Passed By International Acclamation?.........."

Good Morning;

Here is a curious but useless bit of trivia to start off the day....

For some odd reason my little 'Intimate Indulgence' here seems to attract an unusual amount of global visitors from countries beginning with the letter " I ". We have been graced with the presence of folks from India, Ireland, Iceland, Italy, Indonesia, Iraq, Israel and Iran....(hmmmmm?)...even Cote d'Ivoire, formerly known as Ivory Coast.

Every country beginning with " I "

And from the good old USA there have been hits from Illinois, Indiana and Iowa.........wait, we're missing one................who?............. oh, it figures........

Okay Idaho, c'mon out of those survivalist bunkers y'all and say hello.......lol.

Back in a bit............Dave

"Tiny Bubbles..................."

Good Afternoon;

Well having faith and the karmic equivalent of 'throwing myself on the mercy of the court' (in a universal sense...AKA..."The Secret")...[ Is he being serious or facetious?? you may well ask, I'm not sure myself at this point..........lol], seems to work sometimes.

I found 2 dollar bills on the street when I left the library yesterday afternoon and ended up with enough cash to buy real, though right on the edge of the 'eat at your own risk' date food. shaved ham, tomato, mayo, bbq sauce, on a soft taco; Cheetos; and strawberry generic pop tarts and a whole sh*tload of coffee to wash it all down. Then Ted comes by and slips me a $10.00 out of the blue, Thanks my friend. I ended up with a few sandwiches and pastries on the way out also, Thanks Tina.

I sat outside the library and read until it started to rain, then went to the gas station for a bit and put $2.00 on the Keno, won and lost and won and lost $2.00 at a time for a while and finally hit for $25.00, so I ended walking out with $30.00........so going out to corner is an option this afternoon, not a necessity.....for a change.....lol.

Give it up, give it over, and be grateful...not greedy, appreciate the little gifts and small victories.

back later...................Dave

"Which Is a Worse Waste Of Time.....The Writing...OR...The Reading Of This Post?........................"

Good Afternoon...for the 3rd time.....lol;

Can you tell that I'm killing time at the library today?....(and the A/C here is not up to snuff either....lol).

I found some change on the ground, in the coin return of the copier and in my bag...COFFEE MONEY....HOORAY!!!

So at least I have something to drink, (and caffeine), to go with my mayonnaise and BBQ sauce burritos lunch, with honey and cinnamon burritos for dessert.

I'm going to trust to luck and providence today and see what happens. I walked outside and it's miserable and muggy....the hell with it, I'm not dealing with the corner today, if I can't find some money for food then I'll try the 'get the fried chicken on the way to the dumpster' bit, if that doesn't work....well I can afford to lose some weight anyway........lol.

Today...everything hurts, and what does not...is numb, these are not the most comfortable or well designed chairs.

At least my depression has chosen to express itself by means of, 'attemped humor in a jugular vein', rather than 'attempted suicide in a femoral artery'.

I'm outta here for real...unless I come back tonight....I'm going to go shave, I'll either feel better--or--slip and not care...............later.........Dave

"DeCaf...................What's The Point"

Good Afternoon;

Well, it is Thursday around 12:30 pm., and I cannot type a sentence without a typo right now. I need coffee, and don't even have enough for a cup..........sh*t!

I have an unproven scientific/medical theory that has just occured to me:

Depression + Exhaustion + Poverty = Inertia

I could not get up this morning to get out to the corner early, real early to get there before Jillian took it over, even knowing that I am dead broke, with no food supplies other than a half package of soft flour tortillas, and $0.75 left on my Independence card. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. The heat and humidity of the past few days has not helped either, and the Starbucks A/C is not working properly, (and of course no one there has taken the initiative to call the maintainance people......just piss and moan about it..????).

I am glad I went out yesterday morning and as I was getting off the train I saw the girl Jillian who has moved in on my corner, (when the junkie crew has not ruined it for all of us), {which is what happened on Tuesday morning, all morning...so I tried the other side of the street and had no one stop in over an hour, so I sat at the outdoor tables at the Gateway Building of MICA reading all day, moving from table to table with the shadows, until the afternoon rush hour, where I stood for an hour and a half, and had 2 people stop, one of whom was my friend Michelle from MICA, who I really miss seeing, and the other was a gentleman who I have mentioned before, a born again Christian laywer named Dave, who stopped and gave me $10.00. I was exhausted and left then.}...walking towards the intersection, now, it is first come/first served out here so I cut straight across the construction site and the field to get there before she did, (if not, she'd never leave, and I'd never get a chance at all), I ended up with enough money in about 2 hours to be able to pay my debt to Monkee for meds and get enough for the week, ($15.00 for her, and $5.00 for me), and I was just too hot and dirty to stand out there anymore. I then hit the coffee shop and the Giant, and that was all she wrote..$00.00! balance.

As I said earlier the A/C is busted there and with the combination of that and one of the employee's sheer negativity and just nasty bitter attitude, and the unavailability of the patio outside, the atmosphere there was miserable. I mean, hell, I do more than my fair share of bitching I'll own up to it, but you've got to admit that not in every breath and fiber of my being!! My life is far from the most pleasant at times, but I do not find fault with every other human being I come into contact with, almost all of whom are judged and found wanting, and then ridiculed. (..I have noticed a similar theme in 'lower class'/ghetto humor from my obsevations on public tranportation; where it is neccessary that the subject is being put down, 'gotten over on', hurt physically, or emotionally, and/or publicall humiliated for a 'joke' or anecdote to be funny...an extension of the 'eat the weak' attitude...). So I left well before closing and went to the library, (and had my run in with the 'Electro-Cyber-Gremlins'...............lol). It was so warm I sat out until after midnight on the benches near the library until the edge of the thunderstorm that passed over forced me in side the shed. Then, I slept poorly, so I feel like crap at this point, it's too bad I can't find someone to blame for it.......LOL.

Well time is up again.............see you later ............Dave

"Street Scene/Street Seen...OR...'This Is Dedicated---To The One I Love'........[*TAKE TWO*...AKA..'Lost In (Cyber)Space'/Ghosts In The Machine]....."

Good Morning;

(Or a semi-reasonable facsimile thereof);

You are probably wondering WTF is with these 2 posts with the same title, and different dates. With the first one dated Monday and posted Wednesday and having no content.

You can thank the computer,(DELL), the Baltimore County Library computer network, the ISP(?),and/or the BLOGGER website. AS I clicked on the Publish button last night after writing the post, which I had started and saved on Monday, the library computer system sent out it's '5 minute warning' and placed the countdown timer box right in the middle of the screen, at the same time, the ISP was having connection issues, AND a message popped up from BLOGGER stating that there were 'publishing conflicts' and to hit my 'back button' and try again......Well at that point everything went to hell and my whole friggin' post disappeared and cannot be resurrected.(I am going to start adding the name "Lazarus" to all my post titles as a precautionary measure.....couldn't hoit..........LOL). So, I'll try again..........

Anyone who travels Reisterstown Rd. along the 'Main St. Street scape' of Pikesville in the mid morning has most likely noticed the daily scenario of a 'little old man' out for a walk with his wife or daughter. This is one particular example that I have seen EVERY day, except in the most extreme cases of inclement weather, for the past 2 and 1/2 years, at least. The gentleman I am talking about is short, slight, and hunched over from the shoulders, and looks to be in his 80s(?). He walks with quick, short little shuffle steps and is nearly ALWAYS accompanied by a woman who could be his daughter or his wife, (she is somewhat younger..60s ??),and on many occasions by an aide, attendant, or nurse, but 99 times out of 100, by the same woman. On weekends they are frequently joined by a man who could be son or son-in-law. They seem to be Russian and although we have a nodding relationship that includes the exchange of 'good mornings' and once or twice the younger man has asked me which way the others were walking when he showed up in the middle of their walk, I have not spoken to them to find out the backstory. The older man seems to be affected by either Alzheimers or just simply old age, with a bit of a befuddled look on his face at times, and the tone of voice the others use when speaking to him has that character of extreme patience and tolerance used in such situations. But the overtones and undertones of love and affection are also clearly heard.I know they walk at least form Sudbrook Rd. to Old Court Rd., and back, in front of the State Police Hdqtrs. and the Library, and where the now closed Starbucks used to be. I have never seen or heard any impatience or frustration expressed in anyway, just care, concern, and compassion.

And I wonder, could I do that? Would I be able to have the strength and will to be there every day, without fail? I hope that I am never put to the test, for my loved ones sake as well as my own selfishness, and I pray that if ever it comes down to it, I am given the fortitude and empathic ability to remove myself from the equation, and step up to the plate. It is not the short sudden crisis I am talking about, but the long term, day after day loyalty in a known eventuality, with an inevitable outcome that I worry about.

An example of love at the other end of the spectrum can be seen on most Sundays in the small park across from the library and next to the Md. State Troopers Assoc. bldg. at the corner of Church Ln. and Reisterstown Rd., a mother and her young, (11 yr. old..?..) son sit out in nice weather and watch people and cars and trucks passing by. The boy is in some way mentally and physically and/or emotionally disabled, possibly autistic, what used to be called retarded, (and I use the term only for the image it evokes..NOT derogatorily!). He gets excited at certain vehicles and colors, and when people wave or say hello, and his mom encourages and praises his reactions and laughter and his attempts to communicate his feelings with love , patience, and good humor. Being his mother she obviously has a greater understanding of his gestures and vocalizations, but I still get some sense of his feelings and emotions, even from across the street as I am sitting on the bench pretending to read. His occasional frustrations at being unable to say what he means are outnumbered by the more joyous exclamations and actions. I feel that this is due to the gentle coaching and loving patience shown by his mom, who never shows anger or meanness, even when she has to sometimes chastise him or restrain his exuberance.

And Again, I wonder..... is there anyone out there who would do this for me, if I were unable to care for myself??

And if you wonder what brought on the introspection, on Tuesday night I was in the Giant and looked across the store and noticed my eldest daughter, Jennifer, at the checkout. I looked around for strollers or car seats and realized she was by herself, and I remembered what she told me at the Fair, she finally got her license, 11 years after she was entitled to...that's a long time with a learners permit.....lol. I walked over and tentatively offered greetings, and they were returned with a smile, so I walked out to the car with her and we stood in the parking lot for 45 minutes and talked, catching up a bit on events of the past year that we had not talked. We did not notice the time until her phone started to go crazy, it was Tom, who was home with my grand kids, wondering where she was (Sorry Tom....lol).

We left after checking and confirming phone numbers and open ended invitations to call one another. It was a pleasant and much needed surprise to see and talk to her alone, the serendipitous meeting with her and Tom and Edward and Devin at the fair with Rachel seeming to break through the chill and ice that had separated us. And like the spring thaw at the end of a hard winter, a slow melting must be expected before the ice jam breaks away and things flow freely and unabated.......I have patience......

Okay, that's all for now. I've got more, but let's see if this will publish........lol.

Later............Dave

"Street Scene/Street Seen...............OR.......'This Is Dedicated-------To The One I Love'......."

Hi again;