Good Morning;
I guess it's stress, nerves, and the adrenaline residue from yesterdays running all over the place tearing everything apart trying to locate my lost Independence card, but I fell like crap. My stomach is filled with some sort of acid stew and tied in knots and everything hurts all over, above and beyond the normal daily pain I live with. The insomnia that kept me up last night did nothing for my mood, appearance, or physical comfort either.
Finding out that I can get the card replaced fairly easily was a relief.....being told that it may take 2 weeks was a kick in the face. The 'Help Desk', (HA!), from the only phone number that answers, is not even in Maryland, I guess I should be happy it's not in Mumbai!
I know it is not THAT big a deal, and that I will get straightened out eventually, but it's just another straw on the pile and they all add up to more of a load that my back does not need.....it's broken already.......that's enough thank you God, it's just overkill right now............LOL!
It just seems that every holiday or special occasion falls in the last week of the month anyway, and the one time I AM able to plan.....I get f*cked by fate.
I'm at Jenn's and I'm going down to D.S.S. anyway to see if I can get any action any sooner, even though I know it's losing battle.
I still have $10.00 and if the 'ex' pays me the $10.00 she owes me and says she is going to on Friday when Rachel comes over to Jenn's, we'll have the choice of either a nice meal....or PB&Js and maybe a movie, (if they are still having the $5.00 matinee special over the holiday weekend).
I am seriously thinking of heading out to the corner the next 2 days and holding out my sign and my cup and seeing if I can still panhandle. (it's been what?? over a year?? close to 2?? since I last did that.)
The thing that has me most upset is that all my plans for some special time with Rachel are screwed and it looks as if Channukah is going to be delayed too.
I gotta keep things in perspective though, I'm way ahead of a lotta folks, and I am grateful for the little bit of the material I do have, and the amazing amount of the grace, goodness, and all the intangibles that cannot be seen or held, but without which,
life would not only be totally unbearable, but not worth living at all.
But, in all honesty, I'd really like to have some more cash in my pocket, and I'm not to proud to ask........I've still got one freshly copied edition of my book of poetry to sell, and can run off more as needed........suggested price??....$10.00.............?
It's 50 cents a poem, that's not a bad deal for all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into living and writing them!
Anyway......I'm out of here,
Later..................Dave
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