"Hello America, How are you?...Don't you know me?...I'm your native son...."
I was talking to some folks last night, a group of older men, mostly, who like myself, did not fall into any easily categorized niche of "HOMELESS", yes there were some issues of addiction, or alcoholism, and some 'mental and/or emotional' trauma, illness, disease, and/or disabilities, and some physical and age related problems, but no ONE defining or exclusive "catch-all" that could explain why and how they/we are currently on the streets...except a knowledge and awareness of our desire for some modicum of independence and control over our lives, even at the expense of a certain level of comfort or convenience.(..which is at a different point for each individual....homeless and derelict are not always mutually inclusive..it can be a CHOICE!!!). There were those who had been in the military, in prison, institutionalized, worked all their lives, never kept a job, never left Baltimore City, traveled the world, always had a house, never paid rent.....all intermixed with the aforementioned 'issues'. Nobody was 100% disabled, physically or mentally....but there were some cases of 'morally handicapped'....(I'll exercise my Fifth Amendment rights...thank you........LOL). A major similarity in all of us (and I have found, in a great number of 12 step group participants), was a feeling of 'not belonging' or always being on the 'outside looking in', even when life was good, way down deep sometimes, but always present. To quote 'Waylon Jennings' from "Momma's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys".......:"They're never at home and they're always alone...even with someone they love..". When I crawled into my hidey-hole to sleep, a memeory kept trying to surface, and in the daylight (and what a beautiful day it is becoming) this came to mind, an old favorite of mine, over 100 years old but still apropos.
The Men That Don't Fit In
There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.
If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they're always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!"
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.
And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.
He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;
He's a man who won't fit in.
Robert W. Service
1/16/1874-----9/11/1958
Okay, I have to sign off now, I'm going to try for more time later.......I've got an ironic funny story to tell.................Dave
Allright, I'm back again;
So I'm sitting in Starbucks the other day and a recent friend is telling me how she has just gotten approval to contract for structural repairs and improvements on her home from an insurance company, and she is looking for a reputable architect/contractor/builder to do the job. We are talking about a major renovation due to tree and wind and water damage on an Eastern Shore waterfront home. The approval is up to $170,000!!! with conditional additional monies available for presently unseen non-cosmetic damage. This does not include replacement costs and collateral damages to other parts of the house or grounds or vegatation!!! (The house is currently worth about 2.5, with a estimated "re-build" cost of at least double, so repairs of thus magnitude are warranted). Anyhow I tell her of these 2 saleman/estimators for an architectural design firm from Owing Mills, (with an award winning national reputation, and also very much praised for their ethics and tactics......yeah I know...but it's true), who stop in for coffee and some sort of weekly meeting. We nod and say hello, one guy usually shows up first and we exchange a few pleasantries, neither one of them aware I am on the streets. So I figure I'll introduce both parties, and let my friend and her husband maybe save few bucks and some time in getting their house repaired, that's it, nothing in it for me, off the top, the bottom, front end or back end, just my usual, "helping out someone else when I won't even get out of my own way" mode...LOL. Well turns out one of the reps. is a real asshole, (it's okay kids..I used it in a sentence...LOL), and when I say, "Excuse me...." and break into their conversation to attempt to throw some business their way, gets very rude and arrogant, asking if I work here, is it my house, what business is it of mine, what is my connection, why am I carrying a sleeping bag...etc...etc.. I try to explain i am just helping someone out..and he says..."We don't need help from bums off the street"...[Direct Quote]. His partner tried to make peace and intervene, and the first guy just went off about 'lock'em all up' 'all homeless are trash'...and so on...this is a college educated man with advanced degrees and a mid six figure income, whose business is supposed to be 'people'.
Well my friends went off on him, big time, in the process telling him about the work they wanted to have an appraisal on. The other fellow meanwhile pulled off to the side, apologizing profusely, I said to him, 'You have no reason to apologize, and you cannot control another's narrowmindedness', he said he felt real bad any way and bought me a cup of coffee. In the meantime, my friends had reduced Mr. Potato Head to a pile of 'pommes frites'...(they are of the French Canadian Persuasion...LOL), and were in the process of walking out. The second design rep. came over and apologized to them also, saying that he knew that they would not be choosing his firm, but to please consider them for possible future needs and he would discount all work. My friends asked him about the companies comission structure and questioned him on some other business, financial, and legal concerns relating to a contract, and signed a letter of intent right then and there with the provision the Mr. Potato Head, would in no way be involved, and in no way would profit from their patronage, other than normal corporate profit sharing, etc....(did I neglect to mention they both do Contract Law for the feds???.....LOL), all this time within sight and earshot of.. you know who!!, who was getting greener and greener as he watched a five figure commission, not to mention bonus and incentive monies slip away....and let's not forget the complaint that is going to be made to his corporate masters, and a letter of discontent with his 'unprofessional behavior' to the AIA....ouch...I almost feel sorry for this guy.............nah......'eff 'im..I'll write off being insulted...I'm not yet spiritually advanced to be able to smilingly and understandingly endure an unprovoked and undeserved attack. I am still grateful that I was too stunned and shocked at the absurdity of it all to just deck him, i mean the poor dumb bastard was actually spitting and spraying in his rage...????...time is up...bye...............Dave
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