"NOT A Happy Camper.......... Again!..............."

Good Evening;

Well, I'm back on the street, sleeping outdoors until everything finally comes together with the Voucher, the Apt., my Birth Certificate, and my MVA Photo ID.
Hopefully no more than a month.

Last night was spent sitting either behind or in front of the Pikesville library at the picnic table of park bench.... tonight ???

Things reached a point of no return at my daughter's, and for a variety of reasons it was better just to slip away into the humidity rather than emulate the pop-up thunderstorms that are a trademark of summer here. Better to shut up than blow up.

More will be revealed....

Later.........................Dave

"Any Port In A Storm........."

Good Afternoon;

So anyone have a place in or near Baltimore on the bus/train line where I can crash tonight.

I need to get to another meeting with my caseworker/therapist tomorrow at 2:00 pm. and I have no ride into town in the morning, but I do tonight. I'm NOT sleeping on wet pavement or benches!

Write me here, email me, hit me on FB, call my cell phone, [..if you don't have it yet, write me here and we'll exchange information... ;-) ..]

Later.........................Dave

"Stress.......... Respite........... Stress............ Relief............ Joyful Shock........... Mild Depression............ Steadily Building Alternating Anxiety & Anticipation............ Shot Through With Undertones of Hurt And Anger.......... "

Good Evening;

Well............ It's good to be on nice terms with the ex-wife...AND her live-in boyfriend!

 Thursday evening I caught a ride to the Timonium Fairgrounds Light Rail stop with Jenn as she was on the way to her homegroup meeting..... it was a very quiet ride, with maybe 30 words spoken from the time we left the house up in East Bumf*ck, (Upperco), until we arrived at the L.R., where by necessity some communication was needed to discuss my getting back on Friday.

(The tension here at her house is really getting to the point of extreme discomfort, especially as there is little attempt , or reciprocation of any attempt, to communicate. Plus the weather is again about to get hot, humid, and nasty....and I'm here in the rooms without A/C....... and I'm pretty much trapped here due to the collapse of the arrangements and promises made, and having absolutely no cash left after laying out an ungodly amount here. Plus the the basic reason why I'm here has been twisted beyond the original decree..... and I've got to leave this alone now before I say too much.)

But I digress.... I again stayed at Rachel's mom's Thursday night, (same as last week),  after stopping at Monkee's to pick up meds for the next week. Rachel was asleep but when I got up at 6:00 am. she was curled up on the couch watching TV. We got a chance to visit  over coffee before I had to catch the bus to the train to the bus to H.C.H.

I had a meeting arranged  with the Social Work Dept. to get documentation and a money order to be able to get my Birth Certificate without a current/valid photo ID. After some initial confusion because the woman I actually saw was not the woman I was slated to see, the Dept. head, who had the exact details of my case, which varied slightly from what she usually dealt with, and reversed the order in which they normally send people to the MVA and Vital Records. But once I insisted they check the fine print on both websites, my concerns were addressed and off I went. I took the bus, train & bus out to Reisterstown Rd. Plaza near the apts. where Jenn used to live, where Maryland State Vital Records has an office. If my visit there was to be described by a movie title....... "Gone In 60 seconds" .........would be an uncontested winner!! In, up to the window, drop the paperwork and money order, staple, stamp, stamp, take a receipt, and out the door!! Now I wait a week to 10 days (Hopefully!!!) for it to be mailed out to H.C.H. which is my mailing address and the agency vouching for my identity. Then, off to the MVA,  which also mails out the photo ID,... to H.C.H. again. Then, about 2 and 1/2 weeks from now I can finally get to the apt. bldg and fill out their paperwork and submit to their background checks, then I have to take the approved rental application to H.A.B.C. so they can inspect it, then they negotiate the rent between them, and I can move in.

My H.C.V.P. voucher expires on August 6th and I am drowning in anxiety about the dwindling time window..... "tick....tick....tick....tick" AND  'tic....tic....tic....tic'

Anyway, even though I lost out on the security deposit assistance that was available but expires as the money runs out on June 30th with the end of the fiscal year, I should have enough with my July S.S.I . payment, though with the other 2 pre-arranged payouts I have to make in early July, I may be dining at the Dunkin' Dumpster until August............. LOL!

More info as it arrives...........

Later....................................Dave

"Blinded By The Light?..........................."

Good Afternoon;

Well......... Another great essay by Joel John Roberts from "Poverty Insights";

http://www.povertyinsights.org/2013/06/18/come-out-of-the-shadows/

Later..................................Dave

"Bureaucratic Vicious Circles............... & ............... Bench Bunking............"

Good Evening;

Well...... After a run of 2 months, 3 weeks, and 1 day, I broke my vow and was forced to spend Friday night sleeping on the street, actually the metal bench outside the Pikesville Library. On Thursday night I spent the night at my ex'es, (Rachel's Mom's), apt. with her, her boyfriend/partner/significant other, and her 2nd oldest daughter, my former step-daughter, who lives with them, Rachel was at the beach at the Md. Bar Association Convention with her Bubbie and Zaidie... It's a strange complicated dynamic, but why should this aspect of my life be any simpler than any other?......... LOL!! I'm just happy we get along and I'm able to crash there in a pinch for something important like this, (that has an impact on Rachel too), and that we all get along socially.

I had come into town from out here in East Bumfuck on Thursday night because I had to get a copy of my birth certificate and get over to the apartment building I am trying to move into to start the paperwork. It's going to take at least 20 days from the time I turn it in to HABC for inspection and approval, and probably a week for the apt.complexes paperwork to go through.

Well... I got to Vital Records, filled out the paperwork for a copy of my birth certificate, (which costs $24.00 now!!!), and handed it in, then waited an hour. Then,... I was called to the counter and told that my ID had expired and the other ID was no longer accepted... A STATE ID!!!! Which I was supposed to be told in the first place. They said they could mail one.... in about 2 weeks, if I went and got a letter from where ever I wanted it mailed that it was okay for me to get my mail there.... um I don't HAVE another 14-17 days to waste! I got my money back and left.

 So.... it was early enough that I went to get a new ID, knowing I would not have enough money for the both certificate too, (but I couldn't get back there until Monday at the earliest anyway... so that was moot.), and had another fun experience.
Without my birth certificate or other papers I don't have available easily or at all  I can't get another ID at the MVA.
Catch 22?

I have to call HCH and talk to my caseworker tomorrow, Monday, morning...EARLY, and see if I can come down for a walk-in appt. on Tuesday to get help with an ID and Birth Certificate.... ASAP!!! If so, I'll ride in on Monday night when my son-in-law leaves here to go 'home', (don't!  even!!  ask!!!.. I can't get into that here and now), and spend the night... ??????, who the hell knows?!?

I got my voucher on the 6th of June,and between being trapped up here when I needed to get into town and having spent most of my cash in the past 2 months on household expenses here, and money lent out that is not being repaid as promised... I am out of cash and starting to feel like I'm not just stuck, but fucked.
The living situation here has become untenable, and the day to day tension can be cut with a knife.

I've got to stop here....... too much emotional investment to be objective......
it's family............... 'nuff said.


Later...........................Dave 

"Dream On........... Ramblin' Man....... "

Good Afternoon;

So........wouldn't it be Awesome if I could convince the HCVP/Section 8 people to apply the rent voucher to a monthly payment on one of these:

A Home Never Away From Home!

Later........................................................Dave

"One Small Step!...... Hoping It's A Trend, ........ Praying It's A Landslide!! ......."

Good Afternoon;
Well I'm sitting here filling out an application for an apartment in one of the Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Senior & Disabled Living Apt Bldgs., (I did tell you, Loyal Reader, that I received my HCVP voucher last Thursday... didn't I? .... YAY!!!! )
When I saw this (see link below) pop up on FB!

Connecticut Passes Landmark ‘Homeless Person’s Bill Of Rights’ Law

A very important piece of legislation, passed at the proverbial 'Eleventh Hour'.
This makes Connecticut one of only 2 States that have enacted a Homeless Person's Bill Of Rights and recognized that discrimination and abuse are ACTUAL issues that have been practiced by police, bureaucrats, hospitals, and governments.
One more State awaits their Governors signature, and 2 more are in the wings with pending legislation being drafted.
(And I'm not a gonna tell ya who....click the link and read the Think Progress article!!)


Back soon with reports on my housing quest...

Later............................Dave

"Once A Day......... Every Day, ..............................More Or Less............................."

Good Morning;
So....... Thought you guys might get a laugh out of this, considering the drop off in frequency of my posts. At least it took me 4 & 1/2 years to get to this point.....LOL!
Chuck & Beans

Later..........................Dave

"Assorted Rambling ............................ & .............................. A Sordid Ranting ..............."

Good Evening;

Well........ Tomorrow, Thursday the 6th, I have a 2 & 1/2 hour meeting at HABC, (Housing Authority of Baltimore City) to pick up and learn about to to use/redeem my HCVP voucher.
The Housing Choice Voucher Program is what is/was formerly known as Section 8.

I went past HCH today to see Sean, my caseworker/therapist to my pick up my mail. I need the letter from HABC to get into the session, and there was a letter from D.S.S. informing me my Medical Assistance came through, with my disability declaration; and my Food Stamps were canceled and re-instated, reduced from $189.00 to $31.00 per month.

And of course the S.S.I.  was approved back in March.

And the dates on the letters from all the different agencies involved and the eligibility/award dates are so screwed up and sometimes 4 to 6 MONTHS, or more in one case, apart it is amazing more people don't die not knowing they had been approved for their benefits but not notified!

After hearing so much hype for so long, months and years, about how approval was just around the corner and the promises of instant change, the reality has been that there was no sudden "poof" of improvement, but sometimes only a new set of bureaucratic hurdles, or the incredible frustration of having more money than I've had in years, but just never enough at once to both have immediate respite from sleeping on the street, AND the ability to access or acquire a stable long term place of my own.

Add in the worst and longest bout of depression in many years, fueled by the 'after Xmas letdown' reality that I was/am still homeless with cash in hand, that it seems there is always one more step or obstacle between me and a 'home' of my own.... plus the accumulated stresses of first watching my money dribble away to motels, then what started out as a brief interlude at my older daughter's turned into a steadily more agonizing, soul sucking travail of 2 months and counting as I ended up staying (trapped without any transportation) in the middle of nowhere to help her with money, and aid with the grandmonsters, as a 'domestic nightmare' unfolded and hit the fan, complete with restraining orders and court appearances. And then the carefully thought out plans became pipedreams as the object of the issue gradually eased back into the daily routine and the patterns and behaviors began to revert to their old norms. Feelings of frustration, anger, disappointment, and even betrayal began to overwhelm me as the main reason I agreed to stay out in east bumfuck, the absence of a personality...... was no longer in abeyance, and like a slowly coalescing fog of ectoplasmic matter, became an increasingly visible presence. And that's as far as I want to take this thread, let's just say blood is only thicker than water up to a certain point, then it's sink or swim........ and I'm drowning.


I'm at the motel in Pikesville tonight because there was no way to get from Upperco to Southwest Baltimore City in the morning and if I miss this meeting the housing vouchers are voided, hell!!, one can't even be a few minutes late!!!!!!!

The one bright light, as usual, was the day I spent with Rachel, first at Amazing Glaze painting pottery bowls and mugs, the with sushi from Whole Foods out on the Starbucks patio in Mt. Washington. It was a late Birthday outing, (that has been delayed because of unreliable rides that were promised, [also resulting in postponed and yet to be rescheduled doctors and therapists appts.],  and lack of cash that had to be diverted.... robbing Peter to pay Paul, the interfamily version), and we bth had a blast, and both miss each other terribly.
The immediate need is to find a place to live near the City and public transportation, then search for a place that will accommodate Rachel as a frequent visitor and overnight guest.

After tomorrow's meeting in the morning, I have all day to kill until 8:30 pm. when I need to meet Monkee, so I don't know if I can make it back out to the country that night either, I have to contact my niece who live's with Jenn out there and see if she will be going home at all. Hopefully I'll be able to meet her some time between 10:00 pm. and when the bars close at 2:00 am.
She's still at that early 20's party age.

Anyway..... there is still more to catch up on, but I'm tired of thinking about some of this shit.

Later.......................................Dave

"One Picture...........Sometimes Inspires A Thousand Words!........................."

Good Evening;

Well........ this link from "Portraits Of Boston" taken from the the "Teabonics -- WTF Happened To The Republican Party"
Facebook page has a lot to say about attitudes......

http://portraitsofboston.com/post/51642418820/hey-man-take-my-picture-i-cant-do-it-its

Read the conversation......

Later.......................Dave

"Say Whatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt??????????????????...................."

Good Afternoon;

So.......A link to the silly side of Homeless folk;

"Did I Read That Right??!!!!"

Later..................Dave