Monday, January 30, 2012

"Sleeping In Seattle......................"

Good Evening;
A link to a story from Seattle;
via &;


"Is It Feed A Cold/Starve A Fever?.....Or The Other Way Around?........Doesn't Really Matter On The Patented No Frills HomeLessCide Diet Plan!................................."

Good Evening;
So...wasn't that an awesome video in the previous post?
Mythbusters are 'da bomb'....literally!!

Well the good old common cold is doing it's typical mutation and commute, from head to chest and back again, at the moment I'm coughing up tasty little tidbits of lung, and earlier I was sneezing out what looked and felt like bright green, glow in the dark, radioactive, sinus gunk, mixed with the occasional bit of eyeball and brain.
In other words your basic garden variety sinus infection with a side order of pre-pneumonia congestion thrown in just for sh*ts & giggles.
Just got an e-mail from Jenn telling me she's not coming in town tonight and that we should meet in Hunt Valley at the Light Rail Terminus tomorrow afternoon, because as she put it...
"it feels like mutant-thumbed, jackhammer-wielding, zombie woodpeckers from hell are inside my skull"
I can relate!!

Tomorrow night I'm staying over at their place in Monkton because I'm watching the grandmonsters on Wednesday morning while she goes with Tom to a doctor's appt.
Showers & laundry & a hot meal, plus some time with the Direct TV.

Damn I just remembered.....I totally forgot to call the shrinks office today!
I better write it on my wrist tonight before I leave here.....just in!

I'm dead, flat broke right now, cash, Foodstamps, even my multitude of Starbucks cards have all been raided and combined for the dollar or less balances in the past couple days for that 'starter' cup of coffee....still have some of the Folgers instant left for the daily Giant cup though.
I've been living on a smoked ham that I got on Friday morning at the Giant all weekend, and while it was and is...(one big slice left for tonight or tomorrow morning)...I'm getting real tired of!
It was a quarter of one of those smoked 'football hams', (so called because they are about the size and shape of one)..that was on sale and $2.00 off, so it cost me $1.25 for 3 pounds. And between the cold temps in the shed being smoked and cured it would and did stay edible.
That, the day old rack and the scratch and dent rack at Giant, and the Dunkin' Dumpster have kept me in comestibles this weekend.

I'm hoping for a bag of bagels later tonight for breakfast tomorrow. Then Jenn's pantry on Tuesday and Wednesday, and back to normal....HA!....on Thursday. Which also means reupping on some of my meds too.

I am hoping to get some cash on Thursday, but if not......well stamps on the 7th and in between.....the delightfully humbling uncertainty of not knowing who/what/where/how/when the 'food gods' will provide sustenance.

Anyway, my eyes are tired from looking at this screen, and feel like they are bleeding acid and ground glass, so......


Sunday, January 29, 2012

"Sunday...................Funday Or Gunday................""

Good Evening;'s Sunday again.
 Nowhere to go, nothing to be done, no money anyway, so no reason to get up and out early. Just as well because I needed the rest, I'm starting to come down with a chest and head cold, and between the phlegm factory in my lungs, and the constant, persistent throbbing headache that won't go away, and sinuses that feel like a hot water heater with the safety valve welded shut.......

.....even with heavy duty meds, I'm not feeling sociable.

It has always been the least favorite day.
When the time comes to check out, it's a 99 & 44/100 % chance that it's gonna be a Sunday.
But not this one, for better or for worse.....

Last night as I was crossing Kelley Ave. on the bridge to get to the bus stop a car stops and backs up and a woman gets out and asks if I wanted or needed a ride. I recognized her as the female half of a married couple who were in the Starbucks with their friend Joetta, who is a head cashier/shift manager/front end manager (??? not sure what the proper designation for the job is) at the Pikesville Giant. She was in the car with them headed home and asked them to stop and inquire. Well that was a very nice gesture and I gratefully took advantage of it, saving myself 2 bus routes and an hour or more of travel time back to the Giant. I knew Joetta had known me by sight but not that she knew my name, which was a pleasant surprise and a counter to the paranoia/inferiority complex that accompanies this damn depression during some episodes.
(And not having heard back from the Psychiatric Dept. at Sinai yet has not helped to dispel it....gotta call back tomorrow....[and just trying to make phone contact brings on the anxiety.....face to face is hard enough, but for some reason, for me, the phone is hell....which is weird because one would think that the wall of invisibility and anonymity the phone allows would make it easier...damn, even my f*ckeduppedness is f*uckedup, lol..{ouch}....]....)

Anyway I was in the shed by 9:45 pm. and watching a little TV and reading a book, (I brought the lantern with me to charge here yesterday), or just sitting in the dark all bundled in the quilt, kinda spacing out, in between the shows I wanted to watch to save the battery.

I woke up out of some bizarre dreams once I lay down to sleep about Midnight, on the average of every 3 hours from 3:00 Noon. According to the forehead thermometer strip I have, I've been running a slight fever, around 100-101 degrees, which may explain the dreams and extremely dry mouth. I have to see if I have any OTC meds left beside the Ibuprofen, I think there are 2 NyQuil geltabs in my medicine bag....which will allow me to fight the cold symptoms early....but may produce even more twisted
Yeeaaaahhh, I'm not even going to hint at the subject matter, they were THAT freaky....even for ME!!!!

That's it I don't want to write anymore,
the line between 'goofy' and 'insanity' is getting!


Saturday, January 28, 2012

Good Evening;
A link to founder Mark Horvath;
via Huffington Post online


"Blue Jean Blues..........................."

Good Evening; started out as a good day. 

I went to sleep early last night because I  did not have enough juice in the last set of batteries to read by, and when I was in the coffee shop earlier charging the portable digital TV I never checked to be sure the power switch was set to off. And since the volume was set to the lowest setting and it was face down in it's case....I never realized it was on. And of course when the TV is on their is only a minimal amount of power allotted to charge the battery, and it only lasted 30 minutes or one episode of "The Office"........duhhhhhhh me!

I was up at 6:30 pee and to break out the quilt, it was colder than when I lay down at 11:00 pm., though much less windy.

After waking back up at 9:30 am. and hitting the Giant to wash up and make coffee I went to the library for some books and music, and to drop off some material that was due. Then I took the bus and the bus to the Goodwill Super Store...aka the 'Gucci Goodwill' in Reisterstown. I spent an hour pawing through and trying on jeans until I found an almost new pair of LEE Riders straight legs that were still dark blue but soft, and NOT! Relaxed Fit or stretch or 'baggys' or loose fit....etc., that fit like the proverbial glove.
I usually avoid the second hand/recycled/used clothing shops because they don't often have the larger waist sizes I wear....except for the really big and baggy styles that also are ridiculously long in the leg.
In my experience, most big guys tend to wear out and throw away clothing, since shopping for new ones is a miserable chore with limited selections of size, style, and cut. That being said, I was delighted to find a pair of 
W48-L30 for $13.00 in excellent shape and a comfortable fit...(especially the 'rise', which is cut so damn low in some styles and high in others....particularly Levis, the sworn enemy of my scrotum!!).
I had exactly $12.00, bills and coin, which the nice lady at the register said was good enough....God bless her.
To keep costs down, the bags used for merchandise vary from blank, generic to surplus, mistakes, and printers overruns with logos from different stores.....mine was a MACYS bag....

Which leads to why the day was better in the first half.... 
I was on the Metro Subway from Owings Mills to State Center to transfer to the Light Rail to Mt. Washington and after the train entered the underground segment just past Cold Spring Station the warmth of the car, and the rocking of the train, and the 'white noise' like sound through the tunnel had me closing my eyes and dozing lightly as often happens.
I was on the aisle seat of the first row of forward facing seats to the right of the door with 2 perpendicular center facing seats along the bulkhead in fro nt of me with my bags on the window or inside seat.

At Mondawmin station, the first stop underground, a whole 'gang' of 20 or so teenagers got on the train, bouncing around from seat to seat and roughhousing, and screaming at full volume at each other over the noise of half a dozen different music devices/phones/ipods, and generally being as obnoxious as possible and purposely, verbally and physically annoying and trying to intimidate everybody and anybody. The held the doors open while shouting at others on the platform, until the train Operator/Driver and threatened to shut down the train and call the police. At the very next stop, Penn North, they all boiled off the train......only problem was that they grabbed and/or tried to grab anything that was at hand and not being held tightly, and running off the train with it or knocking to the floor and kicking it or stomping it. Hats off of peoples heads, bags and packages, sodas....etc. When they hit the platform they ripped open and threw about everything, mostly into the opposite side track-way, (which is a concrete trough about 5 feet deep, filthy with dirt, oil, trash, drainage water, all covered with the metallic dust/rust from the brakes of the trains), or in the case of food and drink, onto the walls. This was not a 'robbery' per se, but more like a spontaneous 'grab what you can and toss it' vandalism attack. As the train pulled away they could be seen running up the stairs and escalators empty handed. black bag, (with the laptop, et al), was on the seat next to me with my left arm entwined in the strap, as always, and my 'larder or pantry', the Giant bag with my food items was under my elbow.......I guess you can guess what was not secured. Yes the MACYS bag with my new, (to me), jeans was laying on my lap after I had looked inside to check on something regarding the zipper of the jeans.....and I grabbed too late, and got tangled in the shoulder strap of the black bag when I tried to stand up. All I could do is look out the window and watch them fly out of the bag and into the trench.
I though about getting off and going back a stop, but if I was to try to go into the trough to get them...after having been passed over by at least 2 trains...I'd be arrested, and no way the cops are going to fish them out.
Luckily...HA!... I'm at such a low point emotionally right now, I really can't even work up a good, angry, righteous

Of course the pair of jeans I'm wearing now, the only pants I have, just started to fray and separate at the waistband and the left hip area when I just got up to use the

Anyway, I'm done tonight, but if anyone runs into any cheap/free used but nice jeans in the 48W-30/31L size let me know where please. 
(Lee, Wrangler, Target-generic......NOT Levis OR 'Designer')


LETTER: Help end homelessness | The Carrboro Citizen

LETTER: Help end homelessness | The Carrboro Citizen

Friday, January 27, 2012

"You Have The Right To Remain Stupid...........&...............Sushi With My Sweetie...................."

Good Evening;
So.....After leaving here last night I ran into the guy who lives under the bridge, (And about whom I still owe you a story), on the bus to the Plaza Subway station.
 We traded a bunch of the bagels I had for some of the Clementines,[tiny oranges], he had, and chatted for a while. He was in one of his very lucid, though manic,  phases and the conversation ranged from jungle warfare to navigating the urban jungle to soup recipes. 
We parted company with my accepting an invitation to come by his "aerie" one evening next week for a joint 'stone soup'/'pot au feu' effort from scavenged ingredients....more to follow.

After I hit the Giant and prevented a major shoplifting attempt of men's toiletries and hygiene items by an obvious moron, who did not even know better than to come into the camera filled "Gucci Giant" while decked out in 'thug wear'. On top of that he tried to walk into the men's room with a shopping basket filled with 20 or 30 pieces of the same 5 types of merchandise. As I was coming out he backpedaled and placed the basket on the ground outside the door. I stood there looking at the 'scratch and dent' items shelf and sending a text on my phone and he  did a double take on the way out and began babbling about how he 'better check with her and see if these were the right things', looking all around and over his shoulders as he started 'geeking and tweaking', and took off around the corner calling a woman's name......and then made a beeline to the front door and dove into a waiting car which pulled off and left....after turning the headlights out!?
Just goes to show that stereotypes and profiles gotta originate somewhere.
Act and look like a thief---get treated like a thief.
{I used to 'boost' back in the "bad old days".......I guess my disdain is just that of the professional for the rank amateur.......LMAO!!!}

I got into the shed about 11:30 pm. after stopping at the gas station and ended up sleeping on top of the sleeping bag after watching "The Office" and "My Name Is Earl" on the portable...(that's about the charge limit for the battery)...until 3:30 am.when I both had to be and got It rained cats and dogs for a while, but stayed warm all night...warm for a January night that is.

Today I went over Rachel's for lunch after hitting the Giant in the morning for Little Debbie Cakes and drink pouches off the 'scratch and dent' shelf, scoped them out last I the had to stop at 'Whole Foods' to get the sushi she requested and caught the bus up the hill to the apartment. We ate and read Dr. Suess, and took a walk in the sunshine and I came back here to the coffee shop about 5:00's 8:30 and I'm packing up to leave.....and that's about it for now.


"Aloha: Changed By The Breath........................."

Good Evening; 
This is a link to an interview and podcast on;
featuring my friends 'Iokepa Hanalei 'Imaikalani & Inette Miller 'Imaikalani
last February just after the publication of the book 
"Grandmothers Whisper"

It's nearly an hour long, and touches on the spiritual and mystical, so some of you out there who are reading this should not bother to link and listen... 
(you know who you are).


Thursday, January 26, 2012

"How To Curb Chronic Homelessness? First, A Home!!!...................."

Good Evening; 
Another link, this time from the Christian Science Monitor;
making the point that really should have been obvious from the get go...

It's not rocket science....
Put a permanent roof over a chronic homeless person's head and both willingness and ability to resolve the underlying issues becomes greater by an order of magnitude....thereby increasing the odds of employability, and stability, while decreasing the time that said person need rely on public and/or private charity/assistance/welfare.
(And of course it is a given that there are those whose illnesses and disabilities are so severe that these models don't apply....they are not the subject here.)

Anyway, at least the reports and conclusions are beginning to reach mainstream media, and not just specialized sites with a limited audience where it is, as they say, 'just preaching to the choir'.


"Homeless Protest Shelter Ban............"

Good Afternoon;

A link to a story yesterday in the Baltimore Sun:

There is also a related story from the day before about the fight that sparked it all.

More examples reinforcing why I do not patronize the shelters.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

"Plop Plop Fizz Fizz!.....Or.....How Do You Spell Relief........""

Good Afternoon;

Well...I spent from Monday afternoon to this morning at Jenn's in Monkton and other than the insomnia that comes with this stage of the depressive cycle, (which was augmented by the damn 'Mama Cat' entering the extremely vocal and demonstrative..."Hey Big Boy..Do Me...Do Me NOW!..And Bring Your Friends....All Of Them!!!!!!!!!".... stage of her 'heat' [or 'estrus' for all you technically correct types]...), nothing major is new.
Except for coming to realize that even though I (like a gazillion other folks) suffer from acid reflux and indigestion, (which due to dietary factors is a very common issue with the homeless), which is treated quite successfully in most instances with the prescription 'Ranitidine' and OTC store brand 'Tums', the 'sour stomach'/'rotten egg'/'sulfuric acid' taste almost only occurs when I've been at Jenn's, (the new place, the basement apartment in her M-I-L's house) for a couple days. After examining and pretty much eliminating the differences in diet I went searching medical info sites and the common thread running through them is stress and tension, even 'second hand stress' from other's problems, or tension related to trying to 'stay neutral' when 2 or 3 sides all want you to agree with them.....(especially when you want to
tell 'em all off!!).
Just gotta bite down on the stick and remember the hot showers and washing machine and dryer!


Sunday, January 22, 2012

"Choke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............. AKA .................. Death In New England ................. & ...................... Slip Slidin' Away ............."

Good Evening; stomach hurts from cramps and nervous tension, my throat hurts, and I damn near passed out holding my breath. It all would be worth it if Billy Cundiff hadn't 'royally' "screwed the pooch"......a freakin' 32 yard field goal!!!!!!!
I feel like I was the damn football!!

You'll excuse me while I go wallow in my own misery for a while........
But it WAS one exciting game to watch!
Nothing else to mention today, other than the idiot who cussed me out when I was crossing Reisterstown Road and  he was about to make an illegal left turn and cut through the ice covered skating rink of a parking lot next to the shed, as I was on the way to the bus stop. I told him that the gentle 20 degree slope was deceiving and that the ice was solid all the way to the asphalt and his tires would NOT crack through and give him any traction at all.

He told me to 'mine yo own f*ckin' bidness' and hit the gas and spun out across 2 lanes of traffic nearly hitting a bus.....then he hit the!
He slid down hill revving the engine and spinning his wheels uselessly, picking up speed and barely missing the shed and the fence, then slipped through the gap into the other parking lot perpendicular to the first one and at even a gentler angle. He missed the brick wall and fence in front of it and he not only continued his downhill slide, but added the angular momentum of a clockwise spin.....ending up hitting the high curb at the bottom of the lot broadside with his (no longer) shiny 24 inch spoked mags and low profile high pressure tires and the bottom edge of the door and front and rear fender panels....with juuuust enough speed and force to scuff, scrape, dent, and scratch all the above mentioned items. And the more he uselessly hit the gas and spun the rear wheels, the more the passenger side rear drive wheel and tire ground against the cement curb, shedding rubber and aluminum like a stripper at a frat party sheds her clothes.
And he still couldn't move!

When the bus passed by 15 minutes later I saw  a tow truck up on the cleared pavement of the side street, and the operator unreeling 30 plus yards of cable and sliding/walking down to the car with it plus hooks and slings. At this point I lost sight and can only speculate that the car got winched up off the lot and onto dry/clear roadway.

Jerk was too cool to listen to reason......oh well!


Saturday, January 21, 2012

"Snice................Sneet.............&................Slice,............Baltimore's 'Wintry Mix'..........................CWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................"

Good Evening;

Well it started to snow at 11:00 pm. on the dot last night as I was walking to the gas station from the shed after dropping off my bags and relocking the shed.
It was cold enough on all but the recently traveled parts of the roadway or parking lot. When I was in the Giant it was a madhouse, as everyone here in Baltimore freaks out at any mention of snow/sleet/ice and descends upon the food stores like very selective locusts denuding the shelves of milk, bread, and toilet paper.
When I left the gas station at 11:30 pm. there was already a 'primer coat' of very fine snow on everything. 
At some unknown to me point in the night after 1:30 am. it began to sleet and then changed to freezing rain giving all the horizontal and most of the northerly facing vertical surface a 'clear-coat' glaze of ice. 

I had no reason nor desire to get up early so I stayed inside my sleeping bag and pulled the quilt up over my head and dozed on and off from 5:00 am. to 11:00 am. (with 3 or 4  quick unveiling's to make deposits in the 'post digestive, after hours liquid collection bottle') When I did get up, after listening to the crunch and spin of tires all morning, the parking lot near the shed was coated with a hard, thin, but solid sheet of ice that was too thin to crush and too smooth to slow footprints. Farther from the buildings the "snice" (snow-ice) coating was thick enough to show the tire tracks of a car that had pulled in and circled and faced out and sat for a while, a couple times. 
After I had put the cold steel lock on the colder steel chain and was standing under the carport trying to warm up and get the blood thawed in my hands and fingers and then dancing around trying to ease the related pain and regain use of same....a Baltimore County cop car pulls in, circles round, and sits, facing outward towards the road in the previous tracks.
I just continued on pulling my gloves on and grasping  my bags as best I could and headed on past him/her to cross the street to the RiteAid shopping center to collect 3 of my prescriptions that were ready today.
It seems as if this particular police officer must have just been assigned/transferred/promoted to patrol this particular section of Pikesville, on the day shift, and this is their chosen 'hidey-hole' for lunch-paperwork-'resting', etc. For general principles, the purpose of basic avoidance of authority in any form, and just S.O.P., I think I'll just have to figure out their schedule and time my emergence from my plugged and patched, rapidly deteriorating, cardboard and  plywood chrysalis for his/her periods of road patrol.

After hitting the RiteAid, then the Giant for coffee,, I fought my way through the incoming tide of crazed shoppers who braved the blizzard like conditions...HA!... to risk life, limb, and Lexus to stock up on staples for the Ravens vs. New England in tomorrow's AFC Championship game.....(a second wave should be there tonight and at least two more Sunday morning, the 'churchers' and the last minute

Then I waited 40 minutes for an MTA bus that never showed, catching another route that was either 20 minutes late....or 20 minutes early..........on both routes they are on main roads that had been cleared for hours and were pretty much devoid of traffic.
Then when I caught the connecting #58 the driver not only closed the door as I was stepping in, and could go no further because of the people in front of me depositing their fares, but then slammed the bus around the 90 degree right hand turn onto Clarks Lane before not only I, but 2 other passengers, one elderly and with a cane, could even get to the seats, much less sit in them, causing us to nearly fall on the snow and ice slick flooring. If another passenger had not jumped up and grabbed the older woman with the cane she would have went face first into the steel support pole!
Of course when people complained to the driver he ignored them and refused to respond. 
Cell phone cameras are handy in situations like the driver is about to find out from the man who sat in the very front right seat covertly filming the speedometer!

Anyway....made it to the coffee shop and here I sit.
I'm going to pack up early to give myself time to negotiate the slippery sidewalks to the bus stop on the bridge.....


Friday, January 20, 2012

"Ships That Pass In The Night, And Speak Each Other In Passing, Only A Signal Shown And A Distant Voice In The Darkness; So On The Ocean Of Life We Pass And Speak One Another, Only A Look And A Voice, Then Darkness Again And A Silence......"

Good Evening;
Well it was warmer last night at 11:30 pm. and at 5:00 am. this morning than at 9:00 am. this morning, and it's been been getting colder all day and night.Hopefully the projected rain/sleet/snow event slated to begin around 9:00 pm. tonight and ending about dawn will be of minimal effect. Personally, I'd prefer frozen precip....less leakage into the shed, and I've been staying plenty warm enough.

I had 2 different strangers state that they recognized me today, one bus driver, from the Fox45 WBFF segment, and a woman named Susan who I sat next to in the Starbucks and had quite an interesting and pleasant conversation with.

Today was pretty much an exercise in self imposed isolation, (except for the above mentioned conversation). I dropped off scripts at RiteAid, stopped at Giant for coffee and picked up 4 boxes of biscotti for $0.33 @, or 90% off the $3.29 retail price, and caught the bus to the coffee shop before Noon, where I ensconced myself in the corner in the back....and where I still remain. Part of the reason for the self imposed exile is the typical 
'unsociable/anti-social/asocial' reaction...
...(in increasing order of magnitude vis-a-vis the annoying persistence of people who don't comprehend the phrase; "I really don't feel like company or talking to anyone right now please" )... 
... to this phase of cyclical clinical depression.
 Plus the mixed feelings and conflicting emotions involved in being truly happy for two different women who have finally found love, and in one case an unexpected but welcomed pregnancy, while feeling the interrelated sadness and loss for lost opportunities.
C'est L'Amour - C'est La Vie - C'est La Morte
Just another cycle around the wheel...
Om Mane Padme Om.....   ^!^


Thursday, January 19, 2012

"Feels Like A Monday.........'Recalculating'................."

Good Evening;

So...another cold night, but from 11:30 pm. until 6:30 am. it made no difference to me...once I finally warmed up the sleeping bag with body heat. Luckily I made the right decision at 6:30 am. and got up right away and trotted over to the Giant to use the restroom...instead of 'farting around'....which would have been just like the tagline for the TV commercials for Bill's Carpet......................... 
"You're Making A BIG Mistake!"............LOL!

After going back to sleep for another hour and a half I had an unexpected surprise that was as much of a shock as that first blast of cold air when I opened the door to the shed. There was a County police cruiser sitting idling in the parking lot with the officer either doing paperwork, or 'resting his/her eyes' just outside the shed door.
I continued with my normal routine of dropping my bags and re-threading the chain back through the holes and placing and locking the combination lock on the chain, picking up my bags, and heading off towards the Giant. There was no reaction at all from the cop as I did so and rounded the corner out of sight. Of course in my case the 'pucker factor' was in the mid to high range...but that is mostly muscle memory and old ingrained habit from a previous life and lifestyle. It is hard to forget, even though there is no reason for that reaction anymore.

After picking up some juice in the Giant....and washing up, (and checking my shorts....just in!), I dropped off prescriptions to be refilled and caught the bus to the train to East Baltimore to pick up other meds that were ready.
Then, the train to Mt. Washington and the coffee shop.
 When I got here I called the Psych. Dept. at Sinai to try to make an appointment for "Evaluation & Intake-(Outpatient)" using my referral from my Primary Care Doctor at JAI. I have to call back in a few days to find out when it will be...(since I don't have a current mailing address and appointments are mailed, usually). The deepening depression, and the shorter periods between ever increasing episodes combined with the incidents of anxiety brought on by the sense of a deteriorating grip on the ability to control the crazy thoughts that keep coming, and the seductive desire to just surrender to them...........well, if I don't attempt to see someone now....I'm never going to do so.  

And in an attempt to connect with one of the long time, long term anchors in my life, I also was finally able to have a phone conversation with my good friend AnnaMarie and we did a quick and dirty 'catching up' and made plans to meet next week for details and coffee at her place one evening.

And that's all I'm feeling like writing just now....


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

"Don't Know Why Mom's Always Harp About Clean Underwear ...........They're Gonna Get Soiled If You Get Hit By A Car Anyway!........Nobody's Gonna Know The Difference!......................."

Good Evening;
So....spent from Monday Noon until about Wednesday Noon at Jenn's place in the basement apartment that was built in her mother-in-law's house in Monkton. For various reasons including but not limited to; inability to sleep, being the middle man in interfamilial tensions, and a 'days away from being 7 years old' grandson with a teenage attitude problem having difficulties in First grade, to increased gallbladder and related upper back pain and the usual lower back issues and now similar (but from a different cause....I'm hoping and praying) joint pain to what my son-in-law is suffering from, (and which at times is nearly debilitating to him). We both carry the same chronic disease that has an influence on this, but he is undergoing tests to determine if Lyme disease may be the culprit in his case. I have never shown the certain distinctive symptoms that identify having been exposed to that for sure, nor other symptoms common to other causes also to the same extreme as he has....but I am going to discuss having the bloodwork done to check and be sure.

I did get to shower, wash clothes, and get to Walmart to buy some 'undies'
Actually we stopped at Walmart on Monday and I made the mistake of shopping by price not value. When I got to Jenn's and opened the Fruit Of The Loom's I found that they were the thickness, strength, and texture of thin cheesescloth! Today on the way back here I stopped to return them and spend the extra $2.64 for Hanes, which though they are the white ones...(7@$11.97 vs. 5@$15.97 for the colored, which seem to be slightly thicker....but gotta cut some corners!)...are about 3 times as thick as the returned ones!

Jenn dropped me off at Rachel's mother's apartment on her way to take Devin to speech therapy and I spent a couple hours there. She made Chocolate Raspberry ice cream and I tasted the 'Bacon ice cream'...yes Bacon... from the weekend. Pretty damn tasty!........both of them! Yeah I know 60 degrees yesterday and I get ice cream on a day it did not break 40 of my life!

That's it for now, it hurts to laugh and try to be amusing with this throbbing pain between my shoulder blades that intrudes on my thoughts. From past experience I know this is from either (or both) the gallbladder and/or the Hepatitis B/C, and the most effective treatment of the symptoms is contraindicated in my case....increased dosages of opiate/opioid painkillers.
NOT going there! 
The 'bupe' had been keeping it at a bearable/manageable level for years, but something has/is changed/changing.....which is why I'm seeing the surgeon again to find out if the gallbladder is a candidate for removal at this time....balancing other previously negating factors against current changes.

Anyway, time to pack up. I want to be sure to get to the bus stop early tonight to catch the's toooo damn cold out there to stand around!

I have not forgotten about my 'under the bridge' story!

Good Evening;


Sunday, January 15, 2012

"Shootin' Craps................Without Dice........"

Good Evening;
So...a cold night last night.
I ended up in the Giant watching the last quarter of the Denver-New England game and then I hung out in the gas station with Daniel watching TV  and having a sandwich until almost 2:30. I woke up suddenly about 7:30 am.with horrendous cramps and back pains presaging a nasty bout of diarrhea......and nearly made it to the Giant in time. What a friggin' mess! Doctors Tuesday.
Needless to say it's been a crappy day all around, except for the Ravens winning.

I'm tired and not in the mood to write, so more from the coffee shop in the morning or Jenn's tomorrow night.


Saturday, January 14, 2012

Housing: It’s a Wonderful Right

Good Evening;
A link to an Amnesty International site;
Seems like there should be a way to place people in housing in exchange for
anything from:
 simply having someone in a house to keep it from being vandalized, to having folks who can do so help repair or rehab them in lieu of rent.


City enforcing stored property ordinance at 3 Oahu parks

Good Evening; 
A Link to KFVE TV online in Honolulu;
 A no win situation for everyone.


"Little Of This............Little Of That............+ & - ........"

Good Evening;
Well it's been an interesting couple days....on positive and negative notes both.

I'm not in the best of moods just now and am only going to give a brief skeleton outline to be fleshed out tomorrow...(or later tonight possibly).

On the good side of the ledger is of course seeing and talking and spending time with my friends from Hawaii, 'Iokepa and Inette.
The gathering at 'Breathe Books' in Hampden was surprisingly and most fulfillingly crowded for both such a cold night and a Friday.

Later that night after I got a ride back to Pikesville with a cousin of Inette's I chanced upon this older gentleman, who I had seen often on the train and thought but was not certain was also homeless. His backpack and a carrier bag he was using to haul some used/discarded hardware salvaged from a construction dumpster happened to burst as we were passing and with some cable ties, parachute cord and a couple rubber 'bungie cord' type straps I had in the shed we were able to rig up a type of shoulder rig and carry harness for him to get it back to his 'lodge'. He seemed like a really neat old guy with lots of fascinating stories, and we seemed to hit it off well so I volunteered to help him back to the vicinity of his hidey hole, letting him know I would not try to follow him back. After a long pause where I thought he had not heard me and I was about to repeat my offer he spoke up and said he would appreciate the help, and had something to show me, if I would swear an oath to keep it secret.

After I said I would, and did actually swear an oath, he took me to his 'sky box'/'aerie'/'cliff lodge' as he called it among other things.
I'll go into more detail later but I have to tell you that never in a million years would you believe this dwelling he has fashioned up in and under a major bridge structure in Baltimore City! Awesome in the true meaning of the word, and literally and figuratively "out of sight"!

As cold as it was last night...the 'teens'.....brrrrrrr, I was so so warm, and so so grateful to Pauline for the sleeping bag and quilt.

Also on the plus side is the bottle of generic Immodium that Tom at the Giant bought for me on the spur of the moment after overhearing me speaking to someone else about my efforts to find somebody to do a dollar for dollar trade of groceries for OTC meds since I had no cash but did have food only credits. 

And on the negative side....well if you assumed that the 'intestinal distress is back from the last are correct. And from symptoms and evidence examined...(don't even ask...!), and based on prior experience....I think that the Hepatitis is active again.
No freakin' idea how or why, but everything points to that conclusion.....which is going to be put to the test on Tuesday when I return to JAI and strongly request full spectrum GI bloodwork....ASAP!
And have my doctor authorize any referrals for any and all radiological tests that would be forthcoming upon a positive result.
(If it's negative it only takes a phone call to cancel, but if further testing is needed this saves/gains a weeks time or more.)

And of course the sentence about the bedding is a not so veiled allusion to that old standby:

My hands are so damn cracked and dry my skin looks like it's covered in powder and split open and painful on 3 fingers and a thumbtip, and a fingertip...(not all on one hand). I put Vaseline and  Bandaids on the oozing splits and when I get to Jenn's on Monday to watch the grandmonsters I'll be able to "lotion up" real well with one of the top of the line lotions/creams...('Udder Cream', 'Crack Cream', 'Cornhuskers Lotion'! funky names but effective stuff)  they have on hand all the time for their 'works in progress' tattoos. I don't really like to use lotion or creams when I'm out and about or in the shed because my hands always seem to  attract more dirt, and they never feel 'dry'....but slightly greasy, even with the water based emollients..

Anyway, I'll finish the story about the gentleman and his really cool hideaway next time I'm online.


"Yorba Linda man arrested in homeless killings........"

Good Evening;
It's a good news/bad news situation since he was captured after being witnessed in the act of another killing.
From the Orange County Register online;


Friday, January 13, 2012

"19 Degrees Tonight.......This Is The Next Best Thing To Being In Hawaii!...................."

Good Afternoon;
So this evening at Breathe Books in Hampden;

breathe books, llc
Susan Weis-Bohlen, proprietress
810 W 36th Street
"The Avenue" in Hampden
Baltimore, MD 21211
410-235-READ (7323)

6:30p - 8:00p
Ancestral Hawaiian Wisdom Teachings with Iokepa Hanalei Imaikalani and Innette Miller
Author Inette Miller and her husband 'Iokepa Hanalei 'Imaikalani, a guardian of the aboriginal culture - are travelling to Baltimore from their home on Kaua'i -to share their remarkable personal story within his ancient, matrilineal culture, from Inette's new book,Grandmothers Whisper: Ancient Voices, Timeless Wisdom, A modern Love Story.  For 12,300 years, the indigenous people of the Hawaiian Islands embraced a culture that refused the possibility of war.  This seminar awakens that ancient wisdom-ritual and practices that dissipate anger, prevent violence, foster harmony-and shares its profound implications for the 21st century. "My ancestors areyour ancestors,"  'Iokepa Hanalei 'Imaikalani says.  The ancient wisdom is universal, and our ability to access it is unlimited.
Cost: Free

My friends from Hawaii are in town to celebrate Inette's mother's 100th 
and will be speaking and signing copies of 'Grandmothers Whisper'.
Amazing, beautiful, wonderful people...
An incredible chance to hear the true and unaltered history of the 'Kanaka 
Maoli', as the indigenous Hawaiians name themselves... an added can meet me!........(lol!!!!)

" So What Did I Ever Do To You To Deserve This....Montezuma?...............&.......CWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........."

Good Morning;
Well I'm here at the library and have been since about 9:30 am. because of a need to stay within range of a bathroom, and at the same time stay warm. Why....because # 1 Montezuma's Revenge is back with a venegance and #2.....


When I went in the shed about 11:30 pm. last night I was laying on top of the sleeping bag watching TV in my sweats...when I got up at 3:00 am. and ran (literally) over to the gas station it was a mix of rain and sleet and about 38 trip at 6:00 am. it was windy and 32 7:00 am. when I hauled ass over to the Giant it was windier and 30 degrees,....and when I got dressed and went back to the Giant and then over here it was still 30 degrees and windy.

I don't know what I ate or whatever it was to set this bout of intestinal nastiness in motion, but it is no damn fun! It has not yet reached the stage of misery that last weekend's episode did, and I'm praying it will not, (cross my fingers/knock wood). I am hoping the worst is over now because tonight is the booksigning of "Grandmothers Whisper" by Inette Miller 'Imaikalani and the talk by 'Iokepa 'Imaikalani on the history and subjugation and suppression of the Native Hawaiian people, at Breathe Books in Hampden tonight...

(details to follow soon...I'm out of time here)


Thursday, January 12, 2012

Good Afternoon;
A link to the KOAT TV site with a positive story;



Wednesday, January 11, 2012

"No....That's NOT Fairy Dust!...................."

Good Evening;

Well, just a slow and uneventful day today. I'm just waiting on phone callbacks to schedule doctors appointments.

It was dry when I left the shed, but raining when I came out of the Giant, and alternating between light to moderate rain and mist all day and night, with any luck it will all be over before the leaks overwhelm my drainage setup.

Oh, happy occurrence, last night the root and sharp visible chunk of the broken upper right 1st molar broken at the gum line that would sometimes collect a seed or shard of hard food  recently became loose, (and which I thought may need immediate extraction before things became infected very soon), and when I was trying to feel around with my fingers to get and idea of how loose it was within the gumline......suddenly cracked into 2 (nasty blackened rotten) pieces which I was able to work out with my tongue! 
OH! the sense of release and relief was wonderful, especially after a half dozen saline rinses and some Listerine analog mouthwash...there  must have been a seed in between the broken pieces and the tooth socket, along with some nasty 'shmutz', because the pain AND the pressure is gone. 
I was just about to call Chase-Brexton to see about an urgent care appointment, (as opposed to examination or's middle ground).... now I can just set up an evaluation for the upper front central and lateral incisors to see if I qualify for their services for a root canal. Not like I really want to, but with my weakened immune system and the increased chance of an infected tooth as they chip away.....well, I just watched an acquaintance who I see on the street a few times a week wait too long to attend to a minor infection. After weeks of intensifying agony she went to the ER crying one night and ended up having part of her jaw shaved away where the infection invaded the bone.
Yeahhhhh...........woke my ass up! An infected wisdom tooth 30 -some years ago still resonates in my mind.

I put it under my pillow, both pieces, and I woke up to find two Confederate dollars, a Chuck E. Cheese token, and a $100,000,000,000,000 [100 TRILLION! dollar ] Zimbabweian bill.....(worth less than $5.00 US.....),...a pile of fairy vomit.

Oh well...I jinxed's "rainin' like a bitch" as a customer just said as he came in spraying water everywhere as he shook his umbrella


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

"Back-achin' And Scrambled Legs......................"

Good Evening;
Well I'm sitting here at the end of a crappy day with my fingertips going numb for no easily discernible reason.....just freakin' wonderful.

The day started out before dawn when I tried to get up to pee and I could not get up because my left leg wouldn't support me and was like a piece of cooked spaghetti with the jitters.....spasming at irregular intervals. My left hip and lower back were on fire and hurt like hell.
After rolling to my belly and climbing upright on my right leg using the shelves as handholds, control slowly did feeling..."OUCH OUCH OUCH F*CK F*CK F*CK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Seems the 'harmless benign fatty tumor' on the sciatic nerve ain't so benign!
Guess what the doctor said.....yup..."we have to run more tests".
"Hello's me again!"

Anyway, limped to the Giant and library eventually, as more control returned. About 1:00 pm. things were as normal as they ever are and I took the bus/train/train to the coffee shop.

Good news I've gone almost 180 degrees in the intestinal

Time to go......

113 homeless were attacked in 2010 | homeless, attacks, report - News - The Orange County Register

Good Evening;
A link to a story in the Orange County Register site;

Monday, January 9, 2012

"Just Like Yogi Berra Said.........................."

Good Evening;
Well methinks I spoke too soon...had to make emergency runs to both the gas station and the Giant at about 3:00 am. and 7:00 am. and slept both little and poorly.
And things are not all peaches and cream again at 8:20 pm. either. Luckily Jenn is bringing some clothes I left there that she washed for me.

So since I was already up I went past the library and dropped books in the after hours slot and then jumped on the bus to the train and headed over to East Baltimore to grab meds and then to try to stop in at JAI's Moument St. location but could not even get in the waiting room.

I then went to the First Mariner Arena to pick up the tickets to Disney On Ice that are the rest of Rachel's Chanukkah gift, then here to the coffee shop.
My day was brightened by orders of magnitude when Michelle walked in and came over and surprised me with a big hug. We spent a couple hours alternating both conversation and comfortable silence as we both had some tasks to do on our laptops.

Now I have to pack up and rn over and get my stuff from Jenn across the street and head on up to the bus stop.
After last nights fiasco of waiting nearly an hour and a half on the stop with the folks from Whole Foods in which no buses came by, (3 were supposed to), then having two show up at once, and missing all my connections, then having to wait 20 minutes on the bus at Old Ct. Station while the driver talked to another passenger about all kinds of crazy 'Jesus mumbo jumbo' to the point that the MTA police came over to write him up.....well I don't trust the schedules or the drivers at all.

it ain't over 'til it's over
gotta run

"Could Skid Row Turn Into Death Row?.............."

Good Afternoon;

A link to an op/ed piece by Joel John Roberts of PATH & Poverty Insights
Focusing on the serial killer targeting the homeless in Southern California:


Sunday, January 8, 2012

"Burning The Candle At Both Ends...........(Delete -- ' The Candle' --! ).............."

Good Afternoon;

So....sorry about the lack of posts the past few days, but I've been pretty put it mildly.

And if it bothers you to hear about 'bodily functions', you may just want to skip it and wait 'til the next! ;-) 

Starting on Thursday I was just feeling achy in all the 'long muscles', (arms, legs, back..) and my joints and vertebrae, and tired from a poor nights sleep. After trying and failing to get hold of my doctor by phone I went to the Giant for coffee and to wash up and then I made my way to Hunt Valley by bus, Metro subway, and Light Rail to meet Jenn. I got there about 2:30 pm. and we went out to her place in Monkton. I watched the grandkids Thursday night so Jenn could go with Tom to his Home Group and help him celebrate his 9th anniversary. Other than a general malaise and feeling bloated I was able to deal with the little monsters okay and spent time playing with them and then putting them to bed. 

After eating 'dinner' around 11:00 pm. I watched a little TV and then tried to go to sleep.......but,....just wasn't happening. Although I felt exhausted, insomnia and a steadily worsening case of indigestion kept me up all night until I finally fell asleep about 6:00 am. Which was when the cats started with their 'Feline X Games' competition, of which I was unknowingly part of the arena/playing field. After bribing them with their breakfast kibble I fell back asleep just in time to be awakened by all the commotion revolving around getting Ed up and ready for school. At this time my indigestion had turned into the nastiest case of 'sour stomach' I have ever had, (and which is still lingering, though only a memory of what it was), and the Tums had little effect. I managed to fall into a doze, after Ed and Jenn and Tom all went upstairs, and was just slipping away into sleep when  I heard "Hi Pop-Pop" and opened my eye to see Devin's face about 3 inches away, with a goofy grin and her tongue sticking out. I tried to go back to sleep, but, when the 'Princess' declares it's time to play 'Tea Party', normal mortal needs and bodily necessities take a back seat!!

Friday the sour stomach gradually worsened and I became tethered to the commode. Jenn made the offer of another night's stay if I would keep an eye on the kids again that night so they could go to a meeting in Stewartstown and I jumped at that. Another night of insomnia combined with
diarrhea that got to the point where it resembled the 'total system flush' from the magnesium citrate laxative I had to take before the colonoscopy, requiring constant re-hydration, which fueled the cycle again......

On Saturday, after Tom left for work and before Devin, (who has gone from sleeping until 10:00 am.or later everyday to the 'dawn patrol', got up, I was able to get 45 minutes straight through sleep, and my 'intestinal distress'...(Hah!...)...seemed to be tapering off.
After searching for the least irritating thing I thought would have a neutral effect on my system, I ate some animal crackers and continued with the mass quantities of water. I needed to eat SOMETHING because I was starting to get a headache and what I assumed were 'hunger pangs' for something solid.
After just saying to Jenn something along the lines of,'at least things aren't getting any worse', the 'hunger pangs' revealed themselves to be the beginnings of retroparastalsis. For the next few hours it was a case of "which end is (coming) up" , as I proceeded to evacuate my entire digestive system....repeatedly. Jenn went to the Giant in Hunt Valley and while she was gone I was to keep an eye on the kids and shower and pack up and she would take me back to the train. 
Well, I was able to keep an 'ear' on the kids, who blessedly were having a good day with the minimum of attempts one trying to control the other, with the accompanying verbal and physical actions and reactions.....but shower and pack.....wasn't happening.
So again Jenn and Tom were able to attend another meeting together, and I did not have to get more than 20 feet from a bathroom. The vomiting finally tapered off and ended about 8:00 pm. Saturday night, after one last session, (after a 2 hour pause which almost caught me off guard and out of range), and except for the expected soreness from the unaccustomed repeated muscle action I felt 100% better. The bowel movements continue to be what in others would be called 'irregular', but because of my messed up and jury rigged intestinal system fall within the bare minimum of 'normal for me....barely! 
One of the major worries I had  during this whole 3 day ordeal is that with the buprenorphine I am taking, my intestinal system should have slowed if not stopped totally after taking my meds, (which I did right after the first incidents, but to no result). In trying to determine what possible vector was the cause of this bout of nastiness, 4 come first and foremost to mind;

1) reaction(s) to the ongoing internal abdominal issues involving gallbladder, liver, spleen, and/or ulcers
2) intestinal flu, stomach virus of some sort
3) food poisoning (by cross contamination due to touching improperly cleaned/disinfected counter tops, utensils, or outside of containers, ( umm, yeahhhh, there's a whole post that could be written on Jenn's struggles with trying to get her M-I-L to understand and follow common food safety rules)
4) a case of 'precipitated withdrawal' brought on by a bad batch of Suboxone. (Too much of one component,(Naloxone), in the compound, or uneven distribution within the tablet-which I break and use in quarters-, could cause these symptoms, which is it's purpose, to prevent abuse of the buprenorphine component. It is also used alone in cases of OD.)

All of which could cause the symptoms.
I have actually eaten a bit today and kept it down, and had some coffee and not had it immediately flow through and exit my body, so hopefully whatever it was has passed....for the moment. Tomorrow...or Tuesday most likely, I'll be going to JAI to see the podiatrist so I may as well sign in on my PC doctor's sheet and wait to see her also.

I'm just grateful that I was at Jenn's, not in the shed, and that our relationship is repaired and restored to the point that I can ask to stay another night, or two. And it figures that it was the warmest nights that this event occurred much as I appreciated spending time with the grandmonsters, I really did want to get back to the shed to check it out because on Thursday when I passed by on the bus heading to the subway station I saw a car and a truck in the parking lot and the truck was lettered with the name of a contractor/company advertising 'board-up' services.....which has had me wondering exactly what is going to be boarded up, if anything, or is it another contractor giving estimates?
I'll find out in a couple hours....maybe, but hopefully not. 

Anyway, it's 5:00 pm. and it was 11:00 am. when I ate, and I'm to Whole Foods to decide what looks least likely to bring about a return of yesterday's fun and games.