Sunday, July 31, 2011

"Color My World'...................... .&..............................."Write Or Wrong"

Good Morning;
Hi Dave here with 2 comments on recent 'Comments'.

The first, which was published today, is on the font colors.
I started out on the free computers at the Baltimore County Public Library in Pikesville, (with occasional excursions to the Main Branch in Towson & the Enoch Pratt Free Library Main Branch in Baltimore City) and for the first 2 years of the blog the font style and color reflected my mood or attitude, not in any particular rhyme or reason. When I had the first laptop that Erik pieced together from parts and got up and running and donated to me, the Dell, it was the same thing, simple, easy, point and click to change.
About the same time as the Dell gave up the ghost Blogger/Google made some 'improvements' to the Design functions and templates. With this laptop, a Sony Vaio that Erik so graciously and generously gave me to replace the Dell, for some reason I can change the font style and color here as I write and I get/see what I selected, (and at the library too), but I have to go into the Advanced options on the Template menu to cause the posted font style/color to change, and it changes ALL the previous posts also on that page to whatever is selected...(but the library Dells still publish as selected while writing?!?). And craziest of all are the posts where the font color changes in the middle of a paragraph/sentence/word! Don't ask me how or SEEMS to occur when I've saved and previewed a post, but sometimes just when I've previewed and not saved yet, and sometimes when I've saved and checked to see if a link works....(and that's ANOTHER inconsistent can of, but who the hell knows, because I can't MAKE it happen. And I'm damned sure not going to go messing around with settings and controls etc. on this laptop, so no one need send in suggestions.
Live with it......I

(Though I did change the backgrounds and text font colors slightly, [on and through the Template] to facilitate a request for an easier read for older eyes...which I can relate times being "blind in one eye & can't see out of the other"

The other suggestion was that I get and post a PayPal account so that people can send money to me.

Ehhhhhhhhhhh......I don't think so.....
For a couple of reasons....the main one being;
When all is said and done, at the end of the day,.......
I write this for myself.
As catharsis, to express gratitude, to bitch, whine, and moan, to be creative, to try to make people laugh, and sometimes cry. To attempt to show that the old stereotypes are no longer the exclusive examples of people on the street, to broadcast the positive as well as the negative actions and reactions being taken to deal with the skyrocketing homeless population. To speak for some of those who don't have the advantages I do, to humbly request AND strongly demand that you acknowledge our shared humanity, and allow us to retain or regain our dignity.
I write this as an outlet for my frustrations, my fears, my anger, my joy, my happiness. As a way to connect with another human being, another soul, when in the waning moments of the night, when hope is at it's lowest ebb, when living is in the balance and the scales seem weighted with despair. As a shout, a scream, a whisper...a plea, a prayer,...a song, a psalm.
As an antidote to the poison I hear all day and night on the bus, the train, the street, as a forum to rage against the ignorance, evil, and stupidity, the callous indifference that breeds hate and whose foul spawn is violence for violence's sake.
I write this to unashamedly show my childlike joy and wonder at the natural world that surrounds us, to share the unexpected encounters with flora and fauna in an urban environment. To recount the pain and pleasure of my time, (or lack thereof) with my daughters and my grandchildren.
I write this to show I/We am/are. more like you than you may think when you hear the term homeless. To show that 'normal' is an illusion, that an unattractive exterior, or inability to articulate may cloak a heart, soul, or mind of extraordinary beauty, grace, or intelligence....and that the flip side of the same coin,........can be a facade that is paper thin and barely covering, a mind in agony, a soul in torment, a heart bleeding out from loneliness.
I write because I love words and phrases that paint mind pictures and invoke emotions.
I write because sometimes fears and tears prevent the words from being spoken aloud, fears of ridicule, tears of loneliness.
I write for me, and for those who can't.
So that someone, somewhere may read and say;
"YES! Somebody understands. I'm NOT alone."

I write because if I didn't I'd be even more insane from all the thoughts and words and emotions racing through my mind.

If anyone reads what I write, and wants or wishes to;
give, donate, contribute, gift
money, or anything else
to me
either due to an appreciation of my scribblings,
as an amelioration of my situation;
I will, of course, gratefully and thankfully accept.
Between E-mail, FB, and Comments,
and the mailing address listed in the sidebar
for those who may want to buy a copy of Talespinner...
I'm not that hard to contact.
But as much as I may bemoan my financial misery here,
I DO NOT seriously solicit!
For the same reason I have not hooked up with AdSense
to place banner ads or pop ups on my site, I have no
desire to sign on with PayPal.
(And after all that, if you still want to send money,
to me (or any other homeless person),
please use either cash or a Postal Money Order
Commercial M.O.s can be almost impossible to cash
without a bank account, and personal checks.....Ha!)

I write because I want to, need to, & choose to,
not because I 'have' to.
And damn right it strokes my ego when I am noticed
by the media, but I don't write for their approval.

I write to find my way back home,
to a place I've never been.

It's 6:11 am. and I'm about to pass out,


I write in an attempt to reach out and touch someone.......
with a desperate hope that someone will reach back,
someone who can read between the lines,
who knows empathy from sympathy,
who knows that not all scars show,
that not all damage is visible.
Someone who comprehends the phrase;
"Lonely Unto Death"
Someone who appreciates honesty and loyalty
who believes in agape AND romance
wants and can be a friend and a lover
fears neither devotion nor intensity
craves intimacy and integrity
Who can see beauty in imperfection
and coax worth from worthlessness

I find my soul,
and perhaps I'll find a kindred soul,
to help hold back the darkness.

"Change Of Place ..................... Change Of Pace"

Good Morning;

Well I woke up early on Saturday very hot and with a slight case of stomach distress and headed over to the Giant in a hurry to use the restroom. Even though it was a good bit cooler and drier yesterday the wood of the shed holds the heat like a sauna, and up here in the 'dry end' there are no convenient holes in the wall for ventilation, (unless there are gale force winds), so this third of the shed holds in my body heat as well.
I headed down to the library after making my coffee and got on the computers there, I'm spoiled...I couldn't remember all my passwords at first, I've gotten so used to Chrome doing it for I e-mailed Jenn about stopping by to pick up the deli I left in her fridge by accident and she said to come down when Tom left to drop the grandmonsters off at her Mom's and I could shower too. This was a very appreciated surprise because I really needed to take some time to do some work on my feet, the hot weather and especially the humidity causing the damn jungle rot to flare up on Friday. I was able to slather on the anti-fungal cream and let my feet air out without having to immediately put socks and shoes on.
Foot issues are a very common problem among many homeless people who do not get adequate opportunity to wash their feet and have enough clean socks to run the full course of treatment with the medicines they are given. It becomes a repetitive cycle and whether it is a bacterial or fungal infection it becomes resistant to the standard meds. And this is not even considering the 'normal' drying and cracking from need of moisturizing etc.

After I bathed, I scavenged her fridge and had some loaded potato skins for lunch and gathered up the package of lunch meat, and the frozen breakfast sandwich and bagels I had in her freezer, filled a couple bottles of water and headed out to the bus about 4:30 pm. after I called and talked to Rachel. Shes had already been to the pool, so maybe Sunday or Monday I'll meet her at her mother's house and we'll go swimming, or possibly she'll come over to Jenn's and we can spend some 'Daddy-Daughter' time there without anyone else home. The early closing of the Mt. Washington coffee shop is a pain in the butt, logistics-wise, it is close to Rachel and someplace we feel comfortable hanging out on those loooow budget days.....(like now)!

Since the Mt. Washington Starbucks was closed I headed up to the one in Owings Mills I used to frequent, at St. Thomas Shopping Center, because it is a single bus ride and because Jenn gave me a couple bucks for coffee and with the registered gift card, my refills are free so I can sit for hours. I saw a couple of old faces among the customers coming in and out, and the barrista who was the shift supervisor, John, remembered me from the Pikesville store which closed up, which was 'my' Starbucks. We ended up knowing a whole bunch of the same folks as I asked about other and former employees.
I want to express my thanks to both him and Ashley, (another one!) for their generosity when it came to the marked out items which were going into the trash after they grabbed what they desired. Now, even without refrigeration, I have food for Sunday and at least bagels for Monday, if I end up hanging out at Jenn's tomorrow while they all go to Monkton to Tom's mother's house I can extend the sandwiches to Monday too in her freezer while I'm there. That will keep them cool enough in my insulated Giant bag until Monday afternoon.
The weather tonight is beautiful, warm and dry, a perfect summer night that has unleashed a flood of memories....89% of which are pleasant I left St. Thomas....(NOT the Virgin Island paradise)....(don't I wish I was there....I'd not be leaving anytime before close and walked to the bus stop. The bus went by as I was not quite to the stop, and I was not about to dodge traffic and run even the ten yards to the stop with my bags and a drink in my hand, so I sat on the bench until the next one came, (early), at 9:30 pm. I got off at the library and sat outside and read and used their wifi, and ate one of the new Bistro Boxes from Starbucks I ended up with,
'Fruit & Cheese', with Apples, Cheddar, Brie, Gouda, Almonds & Crasins, and 9 Grain Crackers...tasty and a little bit more in content than the one it replaced, but No Grapes?!?, Sacrilege!
I went over to the Giant to use the restroom about 11:15 pm.
{and cheated myself out of some cash through an 'out of court' settlement of a potential lawsuit! There was a big puddle of soapy water in front of the butcher's display case that had leaked out after it had been sprayed down. With the floor color the same as the puddle I did not notice it and almost 'ass-planted' my self, catching my balance at the last minute after some quite comedic arm flailing and slipping and sliding, [think Charlie Chaplin or The 3 Stooges......."ai-yai-yai-yai-yai-yai-yaiiiiiiii....whoooop whooop whooooop"----SLAM!], then slapping into the glass case window, face first. I didn't hit the floor and did not even think of it until after I went and found the acting manager and told her about it. As the words "I damn near fell....." came out of my mouth I had 'V-8 Moment' and thought 'Damn....I coulda had a suit case', my face must have shown it because she laughed and said...."Too honest for your own good, huh Dave?....."
Just my!
After that I sat outside the First Watch Cafe and read for a while then walked to the shed and locked my stuff inside while I went to the gas station to use the bathroom, (the Giant having closed by now, it being 12:30 am.), and say hello to Daniel. But as we started to chat a particularly loud, large, noxious, obnoxious, noisy, noisome, annoying asshole and gambling addict who comes in regularly to play the Racetrax lottery game showed up, so I left and came in here to write.

The shed is a bit warm, but not unbearable, and I am going to see if sleep is on the program tonight. If not immediately forthcoming I think I'll lock my bags in here and ride the buses through the city, through the 'hoods, just observing people. The brick rowhouses here in Baltimore will still be exuding the stored heat of the past 2 weeks, and oozing people out the doors, on the stoops, and to the corners. But tempers will be calmer and attitudes less aggressive and violent...(hopefully?).

Anyway, I'm done for now
If I go cruisin' I may be back with more, if not..................


Saturday, July 30, 2011

Grand Junction police team bonds with the homeless - The Denver Post

Good Evening;
This is a link a reader sent me, (thanks Laura), of the RIGHT way to coexist.
Dignity, humanity, respect = cooperation up and cooperation down.


Friday, July 29, 2011

Best of Baltimore 2011 | Baltimore magazine

Good Afternoon;
Well another record high today of 100 degrees. Ego High for you and I, Loyal Readers!
Click on the link below to see whose little 'Exercise In Exorcism',
(yeah I know I work the hell out of that
was selected as one of;
"The Ten Best Blogs In Baltimore"

"HomeLessCide – Life on the Street: Like other blogs, Dave’s revolves around his daily life. The difference is that Dave is homeless and his days (looking for food, social services, and health care) and nights (in an abandoned shed in Pikesville) are way more interesting than most bloggers’."

Danger - Danger --- Ego Overload, All Humility Circuits Are Shutting Down
Modesty Levels Approaching Zero ---- Evacuate -- Cerebral Implosion Imminent!

Now if only someone would find my writing interesting enough to pay me to do so,
I'd be a happy camper. Of course once I get off the streets the tone and focus of Homelesscide would change, less first person mumblings and meanderings, and more links to relevant stories and sites and social observations, etc. if I was to keep it going with the same title. doesn't look as if I'll have that sort of problem anytime

So, today was so hot so early that I was out of the shed at 8:30 am. and in the Giant to cool off, wash up, shave...(and after 3 days growth of beard in this heat and humidity, it felt better than sex....or at least what I remember of the vague and distant memories I have of sex............LOL!.......[sadly......NOT!!!! :-( ]..........)...wander around trying to decide whether my last $2.01 in Foodstamps should be spent on actual food or instant coffee packets and a jug of Powerade..............Caffeine & Electrolytes won out won out!

I went over to the library to kill time and found that I had an e-mail from Evan Serpick, editor of Baltimore Magazine and a link to the page you'll find above telling me about being chosen as one of Baltimore's Top Ten Bloggers. I also had an e-mail from Jenn telling me to come down NOW if I wanted a shower and a load of laundry done, so I went out to the bus stop and damn near melted before the next bus came. No shade on that side of the street and the bus flies by too fast to take a chance of waiting under the big old trees across the street and making it back over in time.

I left there about 4:30 pm. and walked to the bus stop outside the apartment complex, maybe a 3 or 4 block walk at most, and was soaked again by the time I got to the bench. After catching the #60 bus over here to Mt. Washington I oozed into the Starbucks and sat until I was able to cool down enough to retain (more or less) human form again.

Erik of Pikesville PC, , walked in to say hello and bought me a cup of coffee, (it never rains, but it pours----that is about the fifth free cup, and we talked for a while and caught up. As soon as he left I hurried over to Whole Foods next door to get my sweaty little hands on an actual print copy of Baltimore Magazine to look at the layout and where the Best Blog list was, (page 187 in the yellow box, if anyone, and say hello to my friend Michel.

That's about it, tonight is the last evening I'll be able to come here for about 2 weeks as they do the remodeling and close at 2:00 pm. then 6:00 pm. until the 12th of August, but I've seen how these things go as far as unexpected delays and pushed back I'm not placing any bets on the re-opening date.
Tomorrow, (Saturday), I guess I'll just be at the library all day until closing at 5:00 pm. Jenn and Tom are having a 'Date-In' night with the grandmonsters pawned off on her mother in Westminster, so I know damn well they don't want Any other time I would just hit another Starbucks, buy one coffee, and get the rest free on my registered card.........but until Tuesday the 2nd of August, I don't even have enough for a cup of coffee, (hence the Nescafe Classico Instant purchase). Sunday and Monday are also up in the air as regards what and where. Sunday more so than Monday because the Pikesville library is closed. Monday may see me stuck in Pikesville because I won't have bus fare until Tuesday. But......who knows? Maybe I'll dust of the old "Homeless----Please Help" sign and revisit the curb by the exit ramp tomorrow?

Anyway, thanks again to Baltimore Magazine, and you, Loyal Reader. I'd still be writing and ranting in any case, but it is gratifying to know people read and come back for more, (maybe my target audience is/are masochists?...........LOL),
and that someone in the mainstream media thinks my words and emotional outpourings,(or outbursts), are interesting.



Thursday, July 28, 2011

"Numerology.......................'What I Did On My Summer Vacation'....................Home Improvement.............Loyalty Up = Loyalty Down......"

Good Evening;
Well loyal readers this is another milestone in the wild and wacky world of Homelesscide,
the 1,000th post! Not that all of them have been gems of journalistic integrity and creative brainstorms, some may even be classed as 'brainfarts' by the less enlightened, or that all have been of my own innovation. I have posted a fair number of linked or forwarded stories I thought were of interest, relevance, or just tickled my warped and twisted sense of humor. Even though it's never been all about the numbers, I've still gotten a kick out of passing certain mileposts in quantity, (and you'll notice I make no claims to, and number of hits/visitors, and visitors from outside the U.S., (a good number of which have been due to coincidental linking of a search that matched a song or movie, etc. that I used as a title to a post...not the; though some of those folks did voluntarily return).
OKAY................Enough of my ego stroking false!

Well my weeks vacation/reprieve is over. I left Jenn's yesterday (Wed.) afternoon about 4:30 for the coffee shop and spent the first night in the shed since the previous Wednesday.
That morning my son-in-law Tom and I went up to look at the door in the daylight, (and it seemed to be in the same wedged position I left it in last week), and then to Home Depot where he picked up a set of hinges and screws and a length of chain for me. We went back up to the shed and rehung the door and drilled a couple small holes to pass the chain through the wall and the door around the frame and which I locked with a combination lock I had, (actually the lock issued to me when I got to the Central Laundry Pre-Release Facility in Sykesville in October 'o4....aka-"The Lock In The Sock".....some of you know all about what I'm talking about, don't try to deny it! We went back to the apartment and I hung out there for a bit before coming here to Starbucks.

The whole week between Thursday of last week and Wednesday of this week was pretty much the same:

What I Did On My Summer Vacation
(Classroom 666 - Sister Mary Elephant - Sts. Cheech & Chong Parish School)

I woke up, I threw things at the damn yowling cats, I fed the cats, they shut up. I took my meds, I fell back asleep. I woke up, I threw things at the damn yowling grandmonsters, I fed the grandmonsters, they shut up. I had my fourth cup of coffee, I ate, I watched kids shows until I had 'SpongeBob On The Brain', I showered, I fed the kids, I stepped outside, I said F*CK THIS!, I came back inside. I played with the kids, I watched more TV....[time passes]....I put the kids to bed. I watched grown-up TV until 4:00 am. or I nodded out in the recliner, whichever came first.
[Repeat x 6]

With minor variations this was my week, with temps. in the 100s on 4 out of 7 days I was going nowhere. Except for Sunday when I walked to the shopping center with Ed, and Monday when I took off for a few hours and took the bus to the coffee shop to give Jenn some space in the tiny apartment to have her friends stop by, I did not leave the house other than to take the trash to the dumpster.
(And the bag of used kitty litter that has put me in serious pain since Tuesday, but more on that later)

Tonight it is back to the shed, it was not too hot last night, but it heated up quickly this morning. Today was another hot humid nasty day, and tomorrow is forecast to be worse.
The next 4 days are going to be really rough as I have exactly $2.01 left on my Foodstamps card and 37 cents in cash, a couple bagels, a couple doughnuts, a packet of lemonade mix and some cheese and peanutbutter crackers, and I think a ham, egg, & cheese sandwich in Jenn's freezer.
I also need to find either $4.00 to do laundry tomorrow or an invite from someone with a washer/dryer because I wearing my last clean pair of jockey

I'll see you tomorrow, it's time for my meds and my side is causing me great pain as I sit here writing this, which is something new and exciting to report to the doctor next week....{oh joy....NOT!}.

Thanks to all who have read and kept reading my 'exercise in exorcism' as I call it, and know that I am grateful for those who were inspired to respond by comment or e-mail, and overwhelmed by those who were generous and empathetic and have sent me gifts and donations. I put my life out for view on these pages, telling of the sadness and madness, joys and gladness, and MOST of what I going through and dealing with, (or to be honest, in some cases, NOT dealing with, from fear or frustration), and most of the time wrap it all in a blanket of sometimes absurd, sometimes ironic, often warped, and occasionally black humor. If I'm just plainly stating the fact, bitching, or humorously begging about being broke, I don't use this forum as a way to ask or get money or gifts or anything else from anyone, (other than the purchase of my collection of poetry), though to be completely honest, there are very few cases where I would refuse anything offered. So to those of you who have gone to the effort of contacting me and meeting me, whether or not you chose to give a gift or not, I appreciate the opportunity to have talked and listened with and to you.


Monday, July 25, 2011

"Take It On The Road.........Or.........'Will It Play In Peoria?'......"

Good Evening;
So, the coffee shop has the temporary early closing times posted for the 13 day period beginning this Saturday:

Sat. 7/30 = 11:00 am.
Sun. 7/31 - Fri. 8/5 = 2:00 pm.
Sat. 8/6 - Thur. 8/11 = 6:00 pm.

Opening times will remain as always:

Mon. - Fri. = 5:00 am.
Sat. & Sun. = 6:00 am.

I have not as yet figured out where I will be spending some time out of the heat for this period.
Invitations are welcomed.
If I could get a doctors appt. and prescription refills early, and scrape up about $200.00 bucks I'd take...."Homelesscide---'The Road Trip'---"!
A couple cheapo bus tickets to wherever is on sale, and brush off the old thumb and travelin' blues sign from 'back in the day', (way, way, back in the, and who knows?
Upstate New York? San Diego? South Florida? Galisteo, New Mexico?
Hell....I should do what my friends from Hawaii do, just head West and have Trust and Faith that there will be an airline ticket provided one way or another by the time I get to the 'Left Coast'!

And if that sounds farfetched and too unbelieveable to be true....
Get a copy of "Grandmothers Whisper" by Inette Miller @ or in both print and Kindle or Nook versions.

Anyway, time to pack up and walk over to meet Jenn.


(Many thanks to Derek & Kayla......for the comedy and the goodies)

"Heat & Humidity Hermit.............................&........1/2 Young Einstein - 1/2 Young Frankenstein.........................."

Good Afternoon;

Well I've made it out of Jenn's house for the first time since Thursday, except for a walk with Edward to the shopping center yesterday. The heat has been just ridiculous and the dew point and humidity were freakin' insane! Broken records all over the place. I'm at the Starbucks thanks to the short but powerful thunderstorm that hit about 2:30 pm. and the fact that cabin fever and my grandson had me on the brink and if I did not get out, sh*t was hit the fan and I was about launch his ass in the space recently vacated by the last space shuttle.
The temps. dropped around 15 degrees, (and have risen only about 5 degrees so far), and the rain stopped and I rolled out just in time to catch the 4:00 pm. bus.
Jenn is going to pick me up after her meeting tonight and we are going back to the apartment. I was not planning on coming back but she asked about monster sitting while she and Tom went back to the dentist for the next visit in their series, and mentioned staying another night. Well, that made not going back to the shed a no brainer, both because of the heat and humidity avoidance factor and the delaying of a possible confrontation with Ivan, the guy I found in the shed when I got there at 3:45 am. Thursday morning. I let him stay when he asked, to avoid any hassles, and he moved down to the 'beyond condemned' portion of the floor after getting some clean boxes from the liquor store/FedEx-Kinkos dumpster.

The door is completely off the hinges and cannot be put back on. I want to get a couple of 'barn door hinges' and some lag bolts and 'ghetto-engineer' something quick and dirty and cheap, just enough to have a lockable/blocklable/latchable barrier to keep out the casually curious and keep the few things I do keep in there from 'growing legs' and disappearing. I have been using the extreme heat as reasonable excuse not to deal with it, (and even though it may cool all the way down to 85 degrees tomorrow....and it will be back up to 99 degrees by the weekend), but I can't stay here at Jenn's much longer without the tensions getting too high, (all of ours), and killing any chances of being welcomed back soon. ... Like next!

I am going to see what Tom is doing in the morning tomorrow before the dentist, and since he has a butt load and a half of tools and assorted hardware laying around in the truck and the house, maybe finding something that will suffice to rig the door.
I'm broke until the 2nd of August...knock wood! I can't buy any hardweare until then.

Okay, that's about it, no excitement to report on since I last posted that would really interest you all. Rachel is home safe from Chicago, where she had a blast. I have not seen her yet, the heat keeping both of us inside, and finances being in the red. Devin, my 3 year old grand daughter who has me wrapped around her little finger, is a Diva.....and knows it. Edward, her 6 year old brother, as usual, is a near genius, (truly!), and a total clueless box of rocks at the same time.

It just does not sink in--
When People Yell At/Spank Me For Doing/Saying =
[Fill in your choice of behavior/speech],
multiple times per day/hour........
I Should Stop Doing/Saying Such A Thing!!

He literally bounces up and down while being chastised/instructed/corrected/lectured yelled at...
just waiting for you to finish so he can continue talking/acting out.
Water off a duck's ass?
Goldfish memory?
Oooooohhhh, Shiny!
Yadda..yadda..yadda..yadda......oh look a butterfly!

Yeah, that's about it, he reads at least 2 grades above his level and constructs a cold fusion reactor out of his Legos......
Which he immediately forgets to tell you about, and loses mere seconds after something else catches his eye.


Friday, July 22, 2011

Housing affordability: Many workers' salaries aren't high enough to comfortably afford to rent or buy in region -

Good Evening;
Hot enough for you? 106 at BWI, 108 in the city!
Don't worry if you missed it... 'do overs' are being held tomorrow!

This a link to the Baltimore Sun
Look at the numbers, do the math.
A growing group of people ending up on the street
are coming to be called the 'working homeless'.
Used to be just the addicts that fit that category,
now it's filling up with the former middle class.


"This Is Going On Your Permanent Record.................................."

Good Afternoon;
I want to express my gratitude to the folks who have e-mailed, called, and sent a comment or FB msg. asking how I'm making out in today's record setting and dangerous heat and humidity. It just hit 105 at BWI and at various locations around Baltimore readings range from there up to 110, which translates in to a heat index of 120 to 128 with the high dew point.
I am in Jenn's apartment where I have been since yesterday afternoon and hope to be tonight, [it has not been discussed yet and with the temps inside here ranging from a cool and clammy 79 to 85 degrees, (depending on the area of the apt.), thanks to B G& E'S "Energy Saver Plan", the humidity has tensions a bit frayed, so I'll until the A/C is released from the far reaching tentacles of Corporate America and temperatures and tempers have cooled off.].


"Too Hot To Handle............................."

Good Morning;

12:37 am.
temperature=90 degrees--humidity=63%--dew point=77 degrees
heat index=104 degrees

Friday predicted heat index to reach 116 degrees.
Saturday is going to be the same or only a degree or two less.
Excessive heat and humidity sucks!

Enuff said?

I'm at Jenn' spending the night, they are walking in right now
and the bra....'little darlings' are asleep. I'm about to eat a bowl of cereal and try to get some sleep myself if the dumb ghetto f*ck moron turns down the bass and/or the volume of his freakin' stereo. Idiot waits until 10:00 pm. to turn it on and at 11:00 pm. turns it up.!?!?!?

Tomorrow, Friday, I'm not going outside unless I'm forced to, and I'm spending the night inside with A/C,....somewhere, somehow.
Ditto for Saturday.

Rachel got home late this morning, (Thursday), and had a blast in Chicago.
I am going to try to see her on Sunday, when,....hopefully.... the weather is supposed to cool off all the way down to the mid to upper 80s.

I am trying not to think about it, because right now it is beyond my control, but the situation with Ivan and the shed is bothering the hell out of me.
I worry he will come back tonight and go in there again, that he will bring unwanted notice and attention to it, that I will get caught up in the fallout if/when the police come to arrest him again,(it's only a matter of time).
I worry about the door not being wedged properly and drawing attention, or someone coming by and shoving on it when I am in there and it falling in.

I'm worried my lantern and fan will be gone, and my clothes and sleeping bag trashed.

I'm also not happy he was sleeping with his stink-ass shirtless body on my blankets and using my pillow'

I need to get hold of 2 barn door or strap hinges and a latch and some nuts, bolts, and lag screws and ghetto engineer something to rehang the door and be able to lock it...I have a combination lock somewhere her at Jenn's in a box.

Anyway, can't deal with it tonight, and most likely tomorrow either.


Thursday, July 21, 2011

"Perimeter Breach!!....Intruder Alert!!....Activate Offensive Maneuv......Abort-Abort-Abort!!!....................."

Good Afternoon;

So....the door was seriously ajar when I headed over to the shed to try to get some rest this morning at 3:45 am. My telltales were down and the door was poorly wedged in the doorframe. I took my flashlight in my left hand and my 'attitude adjustment tool' inmy right and heaved the door up and over to the side and walked up and stood over a person sleeping in my space at the dry end of the shed. "Luckily"....and that is a relative term..., it was Ivan a local 20-21-0r so year old kid who I have had some dealings with. I have given him sandwiches, pastries, and bus fare on occasion and talked with him. Unluckily he is an active druggie, admitted thief, shoplifter, and burglar of opportunity with whom I try to keep a certain distance. NOT someone I would offer space to...I cannot afford to be involved in the residual fallout the next time the cops come looking for him!

I have to go catch a bus to Jenn's now.........more info to follow.


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

"Thank God Lawyers Can't Fly!........OR.........Mosquitoes......The OTHER Hated Blodsuckers!......................"

Good Evening;
So the heat today was like a triple tag team mugging.

First; As soon as you step out the door the sun smacks you in the face and blinds you.
Second; The heat slams you in the chest knocking the air out of your lungs and stunning you.
Third; The humidity slams you to your knees like a biker with a sock full of nickels.
Then; They all kick you in the head, gut, & crotch 'til you pass out!

And the next 2 days is when it really gets hot!

I had a partial reprieve for the middle part of the day today. I got a call from Jenn asking if I could babysit a mutual friend's daughters while she went to the hospital. She's about 6 months pregnant and was having some problems. I jumped on the bus about 10:30 am. and headed down to Jenn's because Tom was going to take me out to Owings Mills to her house, and I NEEDED! to shower and change at least my shirt and socks first before I had any contact with anyone.
When I got there plans had changed and our friend was prescribed bed rest at home and to monitor the situation, and if any changes, then go to the ER. So I showered and changed and 'refreshed' a gently worn and cleanish pair of jockey shorts with a healthy spraying of 'AirWick Rain Garden' air hung out on stand by until about 4:00 pm. when Jenn & Tom & the kids got back from their appointments.
Jenn asked me to watch the kids Thursday night so she could go to Tom's HG with him and I sure but somehow I have to get some laundry done out of the deal, besides the usual, 'you're out at night- I crash on the couch' trade AND that I was going to come by at some point as early as possible before the projected 100-104 degree heat peaked.
(That's got Thursday up Friday and it's equally ridiculous temps and finding a cold damp hole!)

Tonight I am thinking about sitting up all night here on the bench in front of the library, where there is SOME breeze to be caught. My friend at 'Whole Foods' says her friend at the Hilton downtown says he can slide me in there one night next week. I said, 'sure, I worked at hotels before and 'comps' are at the mercy of reservations', if it happens fine...actually great!, but ..."we shall see what we shall see".

I've got 5 ham, egg, & cheese breakfast sandwiches in my bag I hope keep through the night until I can freeze them tomorrow, a gift from one of the young ladies at the coffee shop.

I read today on the back of a box of 'Apple Ohs', Giants store brand version of 'Apple Jacks', in a camping tip and trivia layout that 'mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue', well after some Internet research I have found that most studies are inconclusive at best, many contradicting each other in minor areas. Anecdotal evidence on the 'net leand toward a positive conclusion. inadvertent self sacrifice of my body for the furtherance of mankind's scientific knowledge and actual field research of the Asian Tiger and Anopheles Punctipennis ,(what a terrifying name, and oy! the images it brings, bites leads me to believe that the probability of of this theory is weighted on the side of truth!

Three guesses on who unthinkingly put on the only shirt that fit this afternoon, well aware that he would be outside most if not all night....said shirt being a beautiful shade of cerulean blue.....and your first two,.....ouch, swat, scratch....don't count!

Of course the little darlins are also attracted by the hot, warm, wet, swirling expulsion and subsequent updraft of carbon dioxide...CO2...each time we breathe or talk.....okay make the 'full of hot air joke and get it over with, children.....and the lactic acid exuded from our sweat....of which there has been no shortage, (except for that little bout of near heatstroke), recently too, so I'm a freakin' triple threat mosquito beacon tonight!

(Anybody wanna bring me some Benadryl?????).

No related connection to this except I really like it;

Just mouse over and click on,
when the G.A.S. site comes up, scroll down to the video.
It's not only well done, it's a lot of fun.....
the song rocks as an anthem for
those of us who were never able to...
or had any desire to....
'color within the lines'!


"The Heat Wave Continues...................& .........................'NOT' A Baby Daddy"

Good Morning;
It's 5 minutes until 3:00 am. and I'm sitting outside the Giant on one of the wooden rocking chairs on display and note that a breeze has finally picked up and the temperature has hit it's low of 75 degrees for the day. I've been here since 11:30 pm. when I walked out of the store where I had been puttering around since about 10:45 pm. to find it pouring down rain. The rain lasted all of 15 minutes leaving the temperature still in the low 90s, but it raised the humidity and dewpoint to outrageous so that the heat index made it feel like 96 degrees!

I've been reading and playing on FB to kill time because the shed will be miserable.
As am I from lack of sleep and bashing my face on the corner of the screen. Just from the walking between Starbucks tom the train, to the train, to the bus, and to the Giant this evening, and sitting here for the past 3 and 1/2 hours has my skin feeling like an eel's or a salamander's after they've been out of the water for too dried out slime starting to crust over.....ummm, sounds absolutely divine doesn't it?

I am hoping Jenn will be doing some wash tomorrow, I'm out of clean shorts. I know I have at least one shirt and a wearable pair of socks there, but I'm pretty sure no jockeys and between the 'diaper rash', and just plain yuucccch factor, plus my aversion to it at any weather, 'freeballing' of 'going commando' is definitely NOT an option!

My friend Mikel is back at Whole Foods after her maternity leave, the proud mother of a bouncing baby boy, Mason, born May 28th. When I walked over there this afternoon I saw heard out of the corner of my eye and did a doubletake to look this time she had come squealing around the corner of her register shouting "DAVE" and smothering me in a big, well padded hug. We moaned about the heat together and she mentioned something about having a friend who works at the Hilton and would I mind traveling to downtown if I could get a 'comped' room for a night? (And unless I'm totally clueless and missing things big time it's a solo! We're not like that! I of course said 'hell no, I don't mind', and I'll see what goes down tomorrow.....I'm not holding my breath though.

Well the breeze is totally gone now and the flying piranhas are beginning to feast on my legs and their 'frosting', (and I had washed them off at both the coffee shop and here earlier!), so I'm going to go f*ck with the shed now, and hope it is not a steam bath.


Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I knew the library was going to be a freak show today, because I had had a 'sign' as I was walking past the side of the building on the way in. In the corner under the portico some no mannered ignorant piece of garbage who is walking around here in Pikesville took ANOTHER sh*t all over the wall and the sidewalk, leaving their sh*t smeared napkins all over the ground and stuck onto the brick wall. Looks like the same scum bag who did this to the shed wall a few months ago, and a few other places I've seen, usually high traffic areas, so it be happening late at night. Let me catch the bastard in the act and he's going to be laying face down in it with a broken face

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

"Heat Strokes.........................."

Good Afternoon;

Well I'm at the coffee shop finally cooled off and changed into clean dry clothes from the skin out. Waking up to 94 degrees at 7:30 am sucks. After stopping at the Giant and then the library, then bus to train to train, back and forth and in and out of the A/C and the heat and humidity my clothes, which I put on fresh after showering last night, and then took off to sleep so they stayed fairly fresh, were either sopping wet or crusty with dried salt depending on how close to the skin they were. Sometimes I will end up changing 3 times in a day with weather like this, if I have the clean clothes to do so. Between, wear and tear from wearing and washing, and the fact that they were purchased and/or acquired over a year ago, my basic daily costume of jockeys, socks and tee-shirts are starting to show major signs of wear. 5 sets of jockey shorts, 4 'good' tee-shirts and about 10 pair of socks, (even if other items do not need changing, the socks often get changed anyway, my feet are a mess as it is and clean socks DO make a big difference in avoiding the worst of 'jungle rot' or the 'creeping crud'....[just ask any Vietnam vet who was not just a REMF how valuable and treasured clean socks were!]...), don't last as long as jeans and the sweatshirts which may go 2 years or more before unraveling.

The only thing I really dislike about washing up, (or shaving), at the Starbucks is the quality of the 'Green' paper towels, which seem to be as much 'glue' or 'binder' or whatever the term for it is, than actual pulp or paper.
Yeah.....drying off can

About the library... All the 'regular' weirdos were there, the evil, nasty, old white haired w(b)itch who always wears a couple layers of outer wear, the wacko girl who wears the same 2 outfits, alternating for days or weeks without washing them, and is unacquainted with personal hygiene products...both of these lovely ladies
drag their 'own' chairs from computer to computer pitching hissy fits and swearing like longshoremen if anyone sits in 'their' chair if they have not yet moved it when time is up on the computer. They also both mumble obscenities under there breath, racial, ethnic, and religious, at other patrons.
Then there was the tall black guy in perfectly pressed and creased digi-cam fatigues looking like one of the National Guard soldiers who frequent the library from the post just down the street....excepppt for the fact that there were absolutely no patches , badges, or insignia of any kind on the uniform....and he was having conversations with 'beings' not visible to anyone else....and cursing at the librarians. Then there were the assorted parents who brought their kids to the 'Big Blue Choo Choo' show in the meeting room and then came into the library and let their unmannered brats run around unattended and unsupervised in full vocal cry. One 'baby's mama' type with 2 stroller's and 4 kids, (of obviously different parentage....or Gregor Mendel was wrong, wrong, wrong!, was screaming at an infant no older than a year in fluent ebonics and threatened to "pop yo one in yo ear" if the child did not stop crying.....and which a short time later was found to have gotten a big chunk of thigh caught in the damaged and unprotected hinge joint of the stroller! Then the 'frummie' father with 6 rugrats swarming everywhere under people's feet as they tried to use the self checkout and reaching over and pushing buttons on the screen while their father shouted into his cell phone ignoring them. When I stopped one of the little bastards from toppling the heavy stanchion holding the guide tapes over on to his fuzzy little head, and causing a chain reaction pulling down the other poles............he gives ME a dirty look!?!
All I have to say is ask anyone who knew Jenn, or knows Rachel about their behavior in public places, from infants to age 7, (Rachel's age now), and they'll tell you how well behaved while still being children, and intelligent and interactive with adults they were/are. I know what I'm talking about!
I also saw as I as I was on the way out a couple of old men who come in all the time, and in full and oblivious denial of their obvious need for hearing aids, sit in the chairs of the New Books area partly hidden from sight by bookcases ....but not from hearing and carry on one of the SAME THREE DAMN ARGUMENTS/CONVERSATIONS!!!!!! each and every time they come in at full volume. They are constantly being gently, then firmly, 'shushed' by the staff. Which means that the decibel level temporarily drops to the equivalent of a Sunday morning TV preacher in full bellow.

Okay, it's almost 4:00 pm. and I really need to eat something now that my fears of heat'projectile food rejection'....have


"The Inmates Have Taken Over The Asylum.............."

Good Morning;

It's Idiot day at the library!

Must be the heat.

I gotta get out of here!


Monday, July 18, 2011

"Two Days.................Too Hot"

Good Evening;
I'm sitting in front of the Pikesville library enjoying the rising breeze and slightly cooler air. I was falling asleep at the keyboard and nodding off and smacking my face into the laptop's screen until one of my nightly meds kicked in, I would usually try to avoid taking it so late but I knew it would wake me up some and as much as I want to just go and lay/lie down the shed is too friggin' hot still. In an hour or three I'll check it out, earlier if these is a rain shower....but after just checking The Weather Channel's website, it looks like that's a long shot now...maybe after 8:00 am. and throughout the day when the chances for scattered and/or isolated thunderstorms are a 30% to 50% possibility.......when all they will do is increase the humidity and mugginess to the point where the moisture in the air counteracts one's sweat based cooling system......lovely.

The end of the week through the weekend is forecast with temps again near 100 and heat indices reaching 105 degrees...ahhhh Baltimore, all this and thugs, drugs, dirt, pollution and not an ocean in sight, there is the Inner Harbor....but when you toss a pebble into the water....and the water hurls it back at you.....!

On Sunday morning I got a call from Jenn asking if I could watch the kids during the day as she needed to go out with a friend and Tom had to take his best buddy to the ER/Clinic Walk-In veterinarian to have his cat put to sleep. After that they had to take her up to Monkton to bury her on Tom's Mother's property, where all the family pets that have died are buried because the vet. wanted some outrageous deposit to hold the body in their freezer. I spent the day with the grandmonsters...wishing my grandson had gone along and accidentally fallen in the hole, (maybe?). I left there about 7:45 pm and headed down to meet Monkee as she got home around 9:00 pm. to get the rest of my monthly meds. Thinking I'd only be no more than 2 hours I left all my bags at Jenn's planning to get them on the way back to the shed.

Sh*t!, Battery is dying and the shed is too hot......let me search for an outlet...back soon. the shed which is still friggin' hot, but I'm half soaked and with the fan blowing on my head I'm feeling cruddy but cooler.

Anyway......I got to Monkee's as she was walking in and we ended up talking and catching up and gossiping about the way her block has suddenly taken a steep dive in cleanliness, noise, manners , and attitude in the past 6 months, since at least 3 formerly owner occupied houses became rentals. One house has 1 female adult and about 20 kids from infant to 14 years old, and one adult male 'on the box' living there and they are all outside hootin' & hollerin' well after 11:30 pm. 3 of the little girls are pregnant and their mother frequently heads out after midnight with different men and stumble in at dawn all coked up. 2 of the rentals are 'assisted living' facilities....ghetto style, meaning the 'special' folks living there surrender their checks and food stamps to the landlord who drops off boxes of food and supplies and stops to check every once in a while to make sure that they have not burned the place down.
After watching some young boys of the 'FFA' bust things up across the street in heir own yard then hear a crash behind the bushes screening the adjacent porch, we saw them disappear into the night hitting parked cars with sticks on their way past. As they started to cross the street towards Monkee's car I stepped out of the shadows casually twirling my chain. They stopped and started forward again but took off running like a pack of candy-assed baboons when Monkee said 'they're the little bastards who trashed my car last time.......don't kill 'em right away, make 'em bleed to death......." They dropped their sticks and bottles and fell all over one another as they turned to run, one of them, the biggest, the ringleader, slamming smack dab into a car stopped at the red traffic signal. Monkee began to laugh so hard she cried and it infected me....every time one of us got enough wind back to talk the other would crackup all over again. Monkee (who is black) finally got calmed down enough to croak out..."Baltimore has got to have the dumbest niggers in the country.......last year the big one shot hisself in the dick when the gun in his 'dip' went off when he tripped over his pants, which were belted around his thighs with his ass hanging out but hit the ground when he tried to run from a a dead end alley with buildings on 3 sides and no!!!" By this time the woman whose house they had broke something off of (never saw or got exactly what we heard break, had called the cops...and handed them digital photos off her security system cameras, (digital, wireless, Radio Shack, DIY!............LOL) of the little 'baby G wannabees'. When the geniuses snuck back in the house 30 minutes later, through the back door, they found the police in the living room waiting, having coffee with the parents of all 3 morons!

So..... what was supposed to be a quick in and out....turned into "a 3 hour tour"
When the bus finally came, and I got on the train back to Jenn's it was 11:30 pm and there was no way to get my bags and get a bus back up here, so I called Jenn and told her I'd be down in the morning, (today), to get my stuff. It was a good thing too, because the subway was 'single tracking' to work on the line and a 21 minute ride took 75 minutes to Old Ct. Station and I caught the last bus of the night.....barely!

This morning I called Jenn to let her know I was on my way and she told me Tom would be at the FedEx/Kinkos and to meet him there and he'd give me a ride over....and by the way could I watch the kids this afternoon? She has a miserable earache and had to see the doctor and was going to have to sit in the waiting room until there was an opening, there were so many appointments.
It was a rough day, Edward and I locked horns and had a showdown today. He lost.

I left there after shaving and a quick shower, which was a waste of time, I'm covered with dried sweat and salt and was so 10 minutes after leaving, about 8:35 pm.
It's now 3:37 am. and I am going to try to is bearable in here.


Sunday, July 17, 2011

Saturday, July 16, 2011

"Sunny Delight On A Saturday Night, ?????????????????................"

Good Evening;

I'm sitting outside the First Watch Cafe after stopping in the Giant for a jug of Sunny Delight Citrus Punch, for which I had a craving and is also a nice and easy way to both rehydrate and ingest a megadose of about 800% of the RDA of Vitamin C, which has been lacking from my diet in the past few days.....and though my eyes are such a pretty shade of yellow at the moment, it's not from too many glasses of Florida Trying to balance spleen/liver/pain meds/daily meds/diet/back pain/jaundice/neuropathy/(and, I admit, probably too much coffee & the occasional drink or two) with a current way of life that is not conducive nor convenient to promoting good physical or mental health can be a struggle at times, especially when the depression is in high gear.

My best and closest male friend, Jeff, the nearest thing I have ever had to a brother, died on his couch in Florida in 2001, in front of the TV from sinking into a diabetic coma caused by not taking care of himself and not taking his meds. I used to say "how the hell did he let that happen, he knew exactly what to do....", and I never understood how an otherwise intelligent person could just give up and not be bothered and just let life slip away....
NOW....well, I not only understand, but I can empathize and see how easy and attractive it could be.
(And I also beat myself up inside for years with feelings of guilt, thinking I may have been able to do something to prevent it. When I got the news that he had died and his uncle and the police had broken into his house to find him 3 days dead, after at least 3 days in a coma, it came at a time when I had kept putting off or forgetting to call him for about the previous 10 days. Rational-irrational, probable-improbable...I'll never know, but that kernel of doubt still sometimes erupts into noxious bloom as a strangling vine of guilt and self recrimination, twisting and twining it's way unseen and unnoticed below the level of conscious thought, until in the toxic anaerobic atmosphere and black and hopeless light of the bottommost pits of despair and depression my mind is overrun by it to the point of wanting to punish myself for still being alive. Sometimes the feelings still surface to color and taint my world, and I find myself reaching for the Exacto knife, ready to begin carving more canyons and crevasses in my skin in a futile 'exercise in expiation' and the soon to follow search for a substitute for affection and caresses and simple human tactile contact in the sterile attentions and sutures, stitches, and staples of an hospital Emergency Room nurse and/or doctor.......................such is loneliness, such is life.)
[Ahhhh, yeah, welll.........THAT kinda came out unbidden, it's been that kind of a month, to the point of having a bottle of alcohol, gauze pads, and adhesive tape stashed away, ready and waiting.....just in case the old "mood elevator" get stuck on the ground floor!]

Anyway, as I was about to say before the demons started trying to escape,......again......, I was in the Giant and dropped into conversation with a woman also making a last minute kamikaze run through the store at 11:40 pm., 20 minutes before closing. My mind has suddenly clouded up as to her name, (well hell, after that last paragraph or two I think it is to be expected...! is it not?, but I think it is Amy...(forgive if I goofed it up, you can comment at the end or e-mail me and electronically 'slap me upside de head' if you We ended up walking and talking and sharing some similar experiences with ex-spouses [and spouse's ex-spouses], and their sick manipulations of the children in divorce situations, and the narrow-mindedness of certain segments of the Orthodox community. It was actually a pleasant conversation and I hope I run into her again.

I spent the night at Jenn's so she and Tom could get out for a while, and of course did not get to sleep until close to 5:00 am. and was up at 7:45 am., dozing in and out until I heard a whispered "what you doing Pop-Pop?" from the crib behind the recliner about 9:45 am., and turned to find Devin standing up watching me.
They all went up to Tom's mother's house in Monkton around Noon. I showered and half watched TV and dozed and left there about 5:30 pm. and caught the bus to the Starbucks, where I stayed until close.

A strange but fairly regular occurence there in that 2 different people there sought me out for opinion and advice on some situations in there life, regarding their recovery and sobriety, their love life, and major choices and decisions regarding jobs and or school. And not just petty things either, possible life changing actio ns were discussed. It is both flattering and 'freaking me the hell out' that folks who are well aware of my current situation come looking to me for answers....and seem to be satisfied and okay with what I have to say about things in their lives.......that are obviously not exactly copacetic in mine!

What's that old saying;"Those who; Those who CAN'T....teach."

Out of charge on the battery,