Monday, February 28, 2011

"Social Network My Ass!!!........More Like Sociopathic Network!!................"

Good Evening;
Well it's been raining and windy most of the afternoon since I left Jenn's, and though it was very warm earlier, it is cold and damp now.
After I showered I grabbed the bus over here to the Starbucks and used my last $3.69 to get something to eat and drink. I saved bus fare for tomorrow and I may have some coins left rolling around. I slept poorly and can barely stay awake. Jenn is giving me a ride back to Pikeville after her home group.
My Facebook account is all effed up and would not let me log in saying that it noticed that I was trying to log in from an unfamiliar location, which I was not! Then it would not let me sign on and said my answer to my 'secret question' was wasn't. Then I'm told that I can have a few 'trusted friends' verify my identity and to call them and a whole other rigamarole. I don't have any minutes left to do all this calling back and I said screw it and got a gmail account and logged back on with a new me. I sent an e-mail to every one I had an address for telling them 'Yes it is me and I do have a new account very similar to the old one and to expected friend requests.
I am so tired I am falling asleep on the keyboard...
Later .........................Dave

"Yippee Ki Yay........... MotherF#&^%$!!!.............."

Good Morning;
So it's 1:30 am. and I'm at Jenn's crashing on the couch. I knew it was going to rain tonight...(and I was right, it's coming down so hard and heavy the gutters and down spouts are overwhelmed and the courtyard just out side the patio door is rapidly taking on the appearance of the Everglades!)...and asked if she minded if I stayed the night. I was, and am still, stiff and sore and achey, like I am coming down with a cold, and just did not feel like getting dressed and packing up and dealing with the bus and the sleeping bag etc...etc...etc..
Of course now I CAN'T get to sleep.....story of my At least I'm dry and will be able to start tomorrow without having to first go out in the rain to just take a pee and get a cup of coffee. Nothing exciting happened today....except for the intruder discovery I mentioned earlier....played with the grand kids, fed the ravenous little heathens, and fed them and fed them and fed!
I watched the second half of "Die Hard 2--Die Harder", .....Bruce Willis at his deadpan wisecracking best! And that's about it.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

"Trespassers Will Be Violated...............Survivors Will Be Persecuted!..............."

Good Afternoon;
Well....I was wrong last night when I said no one had been in the shed yesterday!
By the light of day and with the door wide open I saw cigarette ash on a stack of extra cardboard boxes on the shelf just as one steps in the door.
!!!!!!!!!F*CK F*CKETY F*CK F*CK F*CK!!!!!!!!!
I'm glad I did not know this last night or I NEVER would have gotten to sleep.
I was up until 2:15 am. anyway reading and messing with the computer as it was. I E-mailed Jenn at 8:00 am. this morning and told her I wasn't coming by in the morning and would be there by 3:30 pm. as requested. (And of course it's 3:40 now and I'm here and they're not home yet...but I expected
But as for the shed.... I'm going to have to find a more secure and yet still unobtrusive and discreet way to lock it up. A cable lock is one possibility. I am not trying to waste time or money on anything elaborate, because let's face it....oe good kick and the whole door....and maybe the shed itself will come

Anyway, that's all for now as my day so far has been Giant, library, bus, here waiting for Jenn.


"Not By The Hair Of My Chinny-Chin-Chin!..."

Good Evening;
So I get off the bus and go in the Giant and futz around for a bit and head past the shed over to the gas station and I notice one of my 'tell-tales' has been disturbed. Without being overt about it I pass close by and look at the door and it has been opened. Yeah.... I continue around the corner and everything else looks ok, therefore I keep on going to the gas station while looking for anything suspicious in the area......
....................and see nothing that's noticeable.
After I play and lose my dollar on the Keno I head back over to the shed and gently push the door open and switch on the flashlight.Nothing is missing and nothing looks disturbed......any more than is to be expected from a strong wind blowing open the door.
I figure the combination of the wind and that the improvised latch I have on the inside to keep the door from blowing open looking as if it may have had too much play in it, from the door's virating against it in the wind, caused an equipment malfunction to occur.
That doesn't mean my adrenaline level dropped instantly to normal, or that my 'fast twitch' 'fight or flight' muscles immediately sphincter is still in 'crash dive' in 'seal all watertight doors and hatches'!
Anyway....since I'm gonna be up for a bit, I may as well make you suffer
I called Rachel back from the Starbucks phone and she sang me Happy Birthday and told me she has a present for to see The Jewish Theatre Workshop's production of "The Dybbuk" at the Weinberg JCC Park Heights location. She has a small non-speaking walk on part in the play.
She tells me.."I have to walk across the stage, holding Mommy's hand.....and look real sad.". She already has the scenery chewing, ham actor, prima donna moves at! Her mother (the 'ex') is also in the play and it is being directed by her current....boyfriend/partner/live-in S.O....whatever.
So I am going to see her when the play opens, one of the performances between the 5th-18th of March.
That's it for now, other than a couple more E-wishes for my B-day I found when I logged on here in the shed.
I need some sort of electric gloves my fingers are killing me again!
Link below for 'The Dybbuk":

Saturday, February 26, 2011

"Double Nickel Day...................."

Good Evening;
So I know you are wondering WTF is with all the
Well, each one was typed in a different color selected on the tool/task/menu bar.
Obviously the system is still effed up, even after clearing caches and cookies......with milk

Anyway, it has been a pretty laid back Birthday. I was picked up at the Giant around 10:00 am. by one of Jenn's friends and watched the kids as they went out to brunch. I cooked a couple pork chops for a sandwich, ate, played with the grandkids, showered, did a load of laundry, played with the kids some more and rolled out about 5:30 pm.
(Thank You Pooh...for the lunch 'n
I am touched by all the E-mails, Facebook posts and messages, and Comments, (some of which were not published by request), phone calls and texts, wishing me Happy Birthday. Thank You all!
The Internet and Facebook really come into their own by reuniting far flung and long lost friens and family.
I walked into the Starbucks and had my free birthday coffee, and my friend Dave from Whole Foods and his wife came in and had a pizza and an order of bread sticks with Garlic sauce which they shared with me, (not that I needed anymore to eat, but the bread sticks made from the pizza dough and the garlic sauce kept calling open flames in the shed tonight!........LOL!)
I'm going over to Jenn's tomorrow at either 3:30 pm. to watch the kids while they go out, or possibly in the morning as they are leaving for church, then going to a party, just to spend some time in front of the TV alone until they stop back, drop off the kids and run right out. It depends on whether I'm up, or feel like getting up or not, what time I get there.
I'm packing up now, and Rachel just called me to wish me a happy birthday, so I have to call her on a borrowed phone as I'm down to my last 3 'emergency minutes' until Tuesday.


test # 1.0


"Color Me Cracked!.............."

Good Morning;
I just want to welcome Follower #31, Ricky Ruzzo.
And to again tear what's left of my thinning hair and scream;
"AAAAARRGGHH!!!!! What's with the freakin' colors???"

Friday, February 25, 2011

"Swedish Fish........................."

Good Evening;
Just a last post before I become eligible for 'senior discounts'!
And to illustrate another couple examples of the spirit of human decency, compassion, and graciousness that are often overlooked in the waves of.....
Sorry about that, I had a complete post written and had clicked on the publish button and BAM!!! The clock hit Midnight, the AT&T WiFi server burped and dropped out for a few seconds, taking along with it of course my beautiful and eloquent prose.
And a large part of it revolved around being posted before Midnight, both humorously and seriously. And now my fingers are burning with the cold and it hurts to type....I shall bravely attempt to overcome the elements and my own rapidly failing stamina and fight the sleepiness which NOW decides to come creeping back........

OR NOT.......LOL!

Since I am now eligible for 'senior discounts' also gives me a lot of leeway with 'senior moments'!..........HA!
To continue;
.....ignorance, stupidity, pettiness and self centered greed we are deluged with in our daily lives.
I need to thank and express my gratitude to a young woman who must remain nameless due to the anile corporate atmosphere of the company she works for. A company that brags about it's conservation efforts.....which all seem to be in 3rd world countries, while making no real attempt to recycle here at home, and because of a constant mindset always in fear of litigation throws away an unimaginable amount of edible food each and everyday, while food banks and soup kitchens go wanting and at times turning away needy clients. I was blessed to get a few pastries and sandwiches to last me until I get my little bit of monthly cash....and I was STILL able to pass on something to someone else.
And then as I was getting off the bus after spending the ride and her layover time talking with my bus driver friend 'Pooh', who I see on the #58 line 4-5 night a week, and we talk about our kids and just about everything else, (I was able to tip her off about the Ice Show and discounts), She says wait a second, grabs her purse.....and she hands me a bill, saying,"It's only a $20.00, but, Happy Birthday"!
ONLY a $20.00, !?!?....I was stunned and speechless for a moment, this was straight 'out of the blue'. I finally recovered enough to thank her without stuttering like a fool just as she waved and pulled off.
It's folks like this, and the young girl at the Metro station the other night who lost her bus pass. So I gave her the last little bit of money I had, $1.59, (and told her someone on the bus ought to have a penny if the driver won't let her slide.....and yes there are drivers THAT petty). 5 minutes later she comes running back, almost missing her bus, and hands me the money back, telling me she found her pass! Wellllll, without going into specifics.....8 out of 10 people at that station at that time of night would not have done that.

People who keep me wanting to help out, whether to 'pay it forward', or to 'pass it on', take some of the sting out of some of the pain I'm dealing with on an emotional level.

Now if someone could take the sting out of the feeling that will be returning to my frozen fish stick fingers, (and not even the Good fish sticks....I'm talking about those nasty freezer burned mystery fish minced ones!!), as soon as I hit the Publish button, fold up the laptop and shove my hands between my but and the sleeping bag.....ow..ow...ow...ow...ow...ow!!!!

Well, when I started this post, I guess you could have called me middle aged, (with the mindset of a 30 year, now I'm standing....laying actually.... on the edge of senior citizen. Now I have to decide....will it be "Crotchety Old Geezer".....or......."Grumpy Old Codger.....?????......LMAO!!!!!
After due consideration.......I think it's gonna have to be the"G.O.C.".
Why??...Because it makes me think of the movie "Grumpy Old Men"
You still ask...Why?......?
Think about it....who was the female lead actress in that movie?
YES!...........Grumpy beats Crotchety, six ways from Sunday!


"Indoor Rain.......&.........The Peanut Butter Birthday Blues.............."

Good Morning;
Well it was a soggy night, between the runoff from the snow melt and then the downpour, at times it seemed louder inside than out. I misaligned one of my 'drip displacers' and did not realize it until this morning when I sat up and reached down to the foot of the sleeping bag and that found the small blue outer blanket that covers my feet and lower legs was beaded with moisture from a 'ricochet drip'. At least I didn't stand up and walk over it and soak my socks. Now of course the rain has stopped and I cannot readjust it until next time......such is life.
I'm about to head over to the Giant and decide whether to spend my last $5.00 in Foodstamps on a jar of peanut butter and one of jelly, and live on that for the next 5 days, (I already have 5 hamburger rolls leftover and a half a can of Pringles), or just say the hell with it and grab a little bit of lunch meat and eat that for today and maybe tomorrow,,,,,and trust to luck, chance, karma, it what you will. I think I have a dollars worth of coin that I'm going to offer up to the Keno gods.......I've always been pretty lucky on a 'last roll of the dice' type gamble, (over the long run)....who knows?
And if push comes to shove, there's always the Dunkin' Dumpster...and the really cheap $3.70 a bottle Rikalov!
I've got to contact Jenn to see about a shower tonight of tomorrow morning, and maybe dinner or lunch, which, other than the free Birthday Drink from Starbucks, and maybe hand drawn cards from Rachel and Edward, is about all I'm expecting this year.
But, Ya know.....if I want a PARTY......I've got a road flare lying around in here somewhere, I can always jam a bunch of dumpster doughnuts together, call it a birthday cake, shove the flare in the center of it, and light it off in the middle of the parking lot tomorrow while dancing and singing "Happy Friggin' Birthday" at the top of my lungs while chugging the vodka straight.....(shudder)....then all the special guests will show up and put on a sound and light show with sirens and horns and bells and whistles with red and white and blue flashing lights...(see how patriotic I am)...and those really cool strobe lights that spin all over the place. And they'll bring me jewelry as a present, nice shiny silver bracelets, and clothing too a lovely jacket the belts in the back with big leather straps and more shiny silver buckles, and they'll even give me anice room for the night..with soft padding all around!
Michelle and I were supposed to go out tonight and do something, but that was put on the back burner last night when we talked via Facebook. (though she is possibly hosting/emceeing a poetry night on Tuesday the 1st of March and wants me to be involved........what comes around goes around, that's how we met in the first place, 11 years ago.) I'm open to any other offers now.....

Anyhow..........I'm heading over to the coffee shop as soon as I decide what to get at Giant, I've got 'coffee credit' left for one more mug of coffee, and of course the refills are free with my registered card.


Holy Sh*t!!!!! I'm not going anywhere for a while, a storm front just blew in with incredible winds and even more incredible gusts, and the rain on the roof and walls sounds like machine gun fire!!!!
Oh Hell............gotta run and start bailing and patching................." the sun is out the sky is bright blue and it feels almost like summer temperatures out there.....
"Baltimore........if you don't like the weather......just wait 15 minutes.
See Ya.....................for real this!
Damn it........I did not even have time to put my boots on and it's pouring again...a bit less interior precipitation this time though.
And now there's thunder and lightning.....really, Really, REALLY!!!! close thunder and lightning....the shed shook!
I'm pulling the plug for safety. And I may as well have breakfast...I may be here a while.
UMMM....YUUUUUMMMMMM....Mayonaisse sandwich!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

"WTF................................................. Multicolor Madness????....................

Good Evening;
Don't Ask!
I Have No Idea

"Lazy Day Muscle Car Mania....................."

Good Evening;
Well it's about that time again, when I start to finish off the last cup of coffee and start putting things away in my bag before the coffee shop closes up.
I was up late last night watching parts of the Homelessness Marathon from Kansas City on the laptop. It must have been after 2:00 am. when it got too cold and I burrowed into the sleeping bag. I woke up at 8:30 am. just because the bladder forced the issue and went back to sleep until 11:30 am. and said 'screw it, no pressing reason to get up', and went back to sleep until 1:30 pm. For once I really slept and felt rested if not relaxed. The unfocused anxiety is still hovering over my head at this point, even if the depression has abated a good deal.
The Focused anxiety is an old acquaintance......typical end of the month blues that you too get; out of cash, out of food etc., until March 2nd. I figure that the looming birthday on Saturday and it's numeric and chronological significances.....................'ain't helpin' none' either.
As of Saturday I can Officially become a member of the AARP!
Oh Joy, Oh Wow, Ohhhh Hell!!!!
I've been getting posts from Jalopnik an automotive news site, ...(I STILL cannot get the turned links back on yet, sorry, you have to enter it in your browser yourself)..
about the new Chevy Camaros..the Convertible, Rallye, SS, and now the...."ZL1", (and any gear head my age knows what THAT appellation means.....slobber, slobber, drool.....LOL!).....
Then today I get a post about the Ford Mustang Boss 302....AND the "Laguna Seca"...(damn I'm glad I'm wearing a bib!......LOL)!
I've been leaving little hints about the Camaro, and now, I'm torn between the 2.....
OKAY.....surprise me.....either one will do!
( greedy wishing for a Ferrari or a Bentley 'R', I'm happy with good ole American muscle)
Anyway.....It's been a slow day and I'm out of here to the buses back to shed and to put up some new "drip deflectors" because I hear that "A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall", tonight and tomorrow.

Well it's supposed to be sunny and 45 degrees for my birthday, Saturday, and I hope to grab q shower late Friday night or early the next morning at Jenn's.
I may still be broke....but I'll smell nice.......LOL
Later........"One $ize Fit$ All".........Dave

Hommelessness Marathon

Good Morning:
Live until 7:00am EST.
Homelessness Marathon


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

"Clean As A Whistle & Fresh As A Daisy.......................And.....................Running In Place..........."

Good Afternoon;
So for obvious reasons I asked Jenn if I could come by and Grab a real quick shower and shave while it was just her and Devin, and the apartment was reasonably sane.
I got there about 1:40 pm. took care of business and had a coffee and played with Devin, and was at the bus stop in time to catch the 3:00 pm. bus over here to Starbucks.
I don't mean to sound gruesome but, I am going to predict that with the quality of driver, (as relating to skills, attitude towards the public, and attitude of entitlement regarding the need to obey common safety and traffic regulations), Baltimore is due for a horrific bus accident due to speed, and reckless and negligent driving....soon!

Anyway, I am here, clean and fresh, and feeling human again. I was not planning to shower until tomorrow, but......even my hair smelled

I just saw this link on my Facebook page via ;
It is a 14 hour national radio and television broadcast from 6:00 pm. tonight until 8:00 am. tomorrow morning (Central Standard Time) featuring a free national call in number open to anyone homeless or not to share stories.
This is NOT a fundraising event, but a consciousness raising forum!
Check out the websites for more information.
(If the links do not can cut and paste the above addresses in your browser.


"I Didn't Know Farts Could Freeze!..................."

Good Morning;
Well, It was and still is, too damn cold out!
I was awakened, (woken?), twice by heavy duty diesel engines idling and pulling off, half a dozen times by cold feet, and once by a combination of diesel fumes generated from outside and methane fumes generated from inside, (whew....Oscar Meyer Deli Creations....DON'T get the Steakhouse Cheddar!!!), the shed, and cold feet. Needless to I say'm tired, cranky and cold, & putting off getting out of the reasonably bwarm bag and putting on icy clothes and boots. And for obvious reasons....I cannot put the clothes inside the bag and warm them
Ah well, I only turned on the computer to check my e-mail, and my hands hurt like hell already....back in the bag, & I'll be up and out when the hydraulic pressure forces me to do so.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"Video: Dance of the Flamingos..............aka........The Flamingo Flamenco......................"

Good Evening;
Reason: It's my blog and I like Flamingos!


"Better Than Handkerchiefs And Underwear...................."

Good Evening;
I'm getting ready to pack up here at the Starbucks and grab the buses back to the shed. The weather is supposed to be clear and cold for the next few days, with tonight getting down to 19 degrees, which will be the low point for the next week. Rain on Friday after Midnight, continuing most of the day and clearing up and sunny and 46 degrees for my birthday on Saturday. Yeah it's that time of year again, and it's probably why I can't get out of this funk. I was saving money to take myself out to eat somewhere decent, but I spent it all on Rachel instead, which I was happy to do, but it leaves me with $2.00 for the next 8 days and about $20.00 in FoodStamps. Like I've said before the end of the month is when all the holidays and other things...(such as my!)....or the Circus, or a show , event, or exhibit that is only going to be here for a week comes through town.
We were lucky with the Ice Show this year though.

Anyway, someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told them besides world peace and a chance to go into outer space......
...CA$H i$ alway$ nice, becau$e...One $ize fit$ all!!
We'll see by the weekend if they took the!


(Stupid Blogger, I TYPED this one in violet, it PREVIEWED as gray, now it is black, and published in green......I give up!)

"Skydiving---$5.00,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, WITH Parachute---$250.00!......................."

Good Afternoon;
Well it was a kind of strange night last night, my FEET, were plenty warm enough, but there was a chill in my core that took hours to get rid of...weird. This morning I just did not want to get out of the bag, the temperature in the shed actually being colder than outside, (it, and the parking lot get almost no direct sunlight in the winter months). When I did get up my hands went numb and then painful almost immediately from handling the nylon on the outside of thr sleeping bag and the wood and metal of the door latch. It takes a good 20 minutes or my hand to become functional for manipulating anything small or needing fine adjustments, like a cell phone or opening the packages of instant coffee and pouring them in the travel mug. I just cannot feel anything in my fingertips......I think the EMG test is on next Thursday the 3rd of March, maybe that will show what the exact cause is.
Driving back to the shed last night ith Jenn was a trip and a half, the roads had not been salted and the 'sneet' was coming down fairly heavy....of course this did not slow down the tailgating asshole speeder behind her on the Smith Ave. hill!
I did not go to the gas station or the Giant but right into the shed and into the bag.

This afternoon when exiting the shed my feet went out from under me.....sideways.....and I hit the ground, the ice and snow covered ground, with my right side in a proper imitation of a PLF, (parachute-landing-fall), ankles-knees-hips-shoulders, with the head up and away from impact while cradling any vibration sensitive like detonators, or charged weapons,....,(oooops...I mean the laptop and other breakables.....sorry....wrong training to the body to reduce shock and vibration. Luckily the pants and jacket I had just put on were cold enough themselves that none of the snow that covered most of the right side of my body got a chance to melt and soak in before I brushed it off.
After I finished scorching the air in the immediate vicinity with a choice selection of curses, profanity, and blasphemy, (it's scientifically proven that this will help to ward off and reduce the feeling of pain, until the pain itself dissipates naturally........really!,.....I saw it on Mythbusters!!)
Anyway, this whole mess set the tone for my day, and crossing the street to the bus stop in Pikesville dodging the idiot drivers only exacerbated it. After sitting for 20 minutes on the bus over here to the coffee shop, which allowed the nicely bruised muscles to set and tighten up, and the walk through, over, and around the slush piles on the sidewalk left by the plows......the body and mind reached equivalency. Achy and Pissy and Bitchy about describes know,like the names of 3 of the OTHER dwarves who never made it big in the Snow White story. (Along with Horny, Hairy, Honky, Sleezy, Greasy, Slimy, Homey, Achmed, and Brucey-Wucey).

After a couple of cups of coffee, a sandwich, and prescription strength Ibuprofen, I'm starting to loosen up a bit, and the 'Russian' coffee I'm about to chug down should do it the rest of the way!!!

I found the solution to one of the 'bugs' I've been dealing with on this computer, and Blogger/Google, I had to dig into the "GOOGLE Chrome" bowser to disable the always on spellcheck, and found part of a fix for the font type & color by going into "Design, Template", but that only changes the default font or color, for the whole batch of posts, past and present. I still cannot figure out why my menuu bar changes do not work.....stay tuned for more exciting

(This is in blue, the previous paragraph was orange, and everything before that was blue too)


Monday, February 21, 2011

"Damn, Stupid, Lying Groundhog............."

Good Afternoon;
I am here in the coffee shop and Steve just came in and told me that there was 5-8 inches of snow forecast for this evening and tonight!?! WTF???
When I looked at the weather yesterday afternoon at Jenn's they were calling for highs near 60 degrees today, (which I knew was not happening when I finally got up and out at 2:00 pm. this afternoon and saw the temperature was 35 degrees on the bank clock/!), and rain and flurries on Tuesday.
I just went to and he is right, damnit!
(And all related phenomena too!)

Anyway, I'll be back.....

Sunday, February 20, 2011

"Don't Panic........................"

Good Evening;
It was a pretty laid back day and evening. I was up and out and on the bus/train/bus to Monkee's this morning by 10:30 am., (after ending up not sleeping until around 5:30 am., no problem, just did not sleep, so I ended up laying there spacing out for 4 hours after I got offline, I just wish it hadn't been so chilly and my fingers so cold, I didn't want to take my arms out of the nice warm sleeping bag and grab my pencil and notepad that I usually write my middle of the night "world peace/cure for cancer/immortal poetry/plans for a FTL drive" ideas! ( It's a shame that most of these ideas won't stand up to too close scrutiny in the light of day, or I can't read my own writing on the one's that do seem plausible......but they're good for a laugh!)

I took the bus and train back from Monkee's to the Reisterstown Plaza Metro station and sat on the bench in the sun and read and ate lunch for an hour and a half. After that I went to the Giant and picked up some hot dogs and bananas for Jenn, (for the kid's lunches you perverts......LOL!), in exchange for doing a load of laundry on her card. Rachel was there getting ready to leave with them to go to Westminster to Edward and Devin's birthday party at some indoor play place where there are a bunch of inflatable things to bounce on and climb in and on, and they serve the kids pizza and cake and ice cream and all that crap that parents are so thrilled with when they get home and get their sugar induced second wind.....just about bedtime....LOL! I wasn't going due to transport and logistics, it just was not feasible. So after they left I cooked myself lunch and showered and shaved. I left their apartment shortly after they got home and I visited with Ed for a bit, around 7:00 pm. and sat on the bus stop and read until the bus showed at 8:00 pm. I wanted to finish a chapter in the book I'm reading, ("1634-The Baltic War" by David Weber & Eric Flint, in the 1632/Ring Of Fire/Grantville Gazette series), so I rode the bus up to the Owings Mills Mall ans sat with the driver on his layover, and back down to Pikesville. Oh, yeah...the reason for this was it was beginning to alternately snow and rain and the bench where I was had no cover.
I got back to the Giant here about 9:15, went in and used the restroom and brushed my teeth, (speaking nof which....Rachel lost her first baby tooth the other day....I told her to put it under her pillow and she said "Yay..and get a dollar from the toothfairy", and then in her best little adult voice and tone and manner says, "Who of course is really you and mommy!" I told her to tell her mother "she was wishing for a hundred dollars......and to bargain it down to $5.00, you can't get anything good for a dollar anymore!"....I'll find out how it went this week, she first has to get the tooth from where she left it the house she goes to 'homeschool' at. (And DON'T get me started on THAT topic tonight!!!!!).
Anyway, it is not that cold but my right hand, the fingers especially, is/are starting to hurt and/or go numb.
Tomorrow is Presidents' Day.......don't forget to dress up as your favorite Chief Executive!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm either going to be Grover Cleveland = Born-March 18th 1837 / Died-June 24th 1908 = our 22nd (1885-'89) - AND!!! - our 24th (1893-'97) = President, (who also carried the popular vote in 1888....freakin' Electoral
Zaphod Beeblebrox!
(I never said it HAD to be a U.S. President!)
(and besides having 2 heads and 3 arms....HE invented the
"Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster"......AND......
has a bar named after him in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada,
and has been called "the Best Bang since the Big ONE!......
If you are not familiar with him.....just think Bill Clinton,
on a Galactic scale..............LMAO!!!!)

Saturday, February 19, 2011

"There's No Place Like Gnome......................."

Good Evening;
Well I am just getting settled in the shed and am going to try and go to sleep now.
I have spent the whole day with Rachel, and needless to say it has been a good day. We were dropped off in Owings Mills at the movie theatre at 10: 30 am this morning by the 'ex' and saw "Gnomeo And Juliet". I have to say it was a lot of fun, great CGI, good characterizations, lots of little slipped in double meanings for the older folks, and an (!) good storyline. The voices were wonderful too, from Michael Caine to Ozzy Osbourne, and Maggie Smith to Hulk Hogan, and Dolly Parton to Patrick Stewart....and many more. We saw the $5.oo matinee, but it's worth the full price ticket. We had a blast. We then took the bus back to the Metro Subway to the Light Rail to Mt. Washington and spent the rest of the day and evening at the Starbucks and Whole Foods, eating, drinking and playing on the computer. Erik of Pikesville PC ( loaded a bunch of PopCap games on the laptop and Rachel has fallen for "Bookworm Adventure Deluxe", which is a lot of fun for me too. We took the bus up the hill to her new apaertment and I killed the better part of an hour visiting with 3 of my (former) stepkids, and the old dog the new puppy and the 2 cats...(kind know how cats!), and the 'ex'. Then I caught the bus back on it's next run.....there is only one bus on the route at night....once an hour. Then the bus to the Giant, the gas station, and glorious windswept walls of Draughty Manor......and I'm fingertips are numb and frozen, it's time to crawl into the sleeping bag and lay on the term...'sit on your hands' a whole new!


(and the color is effed up AGAIN!!!.... and so is the automatic link...., plus there is a 'spell check' program running I cannot figure out how to disable.....oi.....oi.....oi!!!!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

"Oh Crap.......NOT The Flying Monkeys Again................"

Good Evening;
So I'm sitting here in the shed again listening to and feeling the strong winds of 25 to 30 mph, and the frequent gusts that are hitting approximately 45 mph, (and later on today..[Sat.]..that are supposed to top 60 mph on occasion)...I can just imagine waking up like the guy in the old silent films and find that the shed has blown away in the night.......OR......wake up to the giggling of a bunch of drunk 'little people' and some old green faced biddy screaming about somebody putting a hit on her sister by dropping a house on her.......and wondering where in the hell did these red shoes come from and why can't I get the damn things off?! Hopefully it will only be another acid flashback from the '60s!!!
Today, (Fri.), was not as bad as yesterday and even though I still put in a full days workout, (not being able to get up and get out until 2:00 pm., trying to eat myself into a coma, apathy, irritability, fatigue, and suicidal ideations......{and believe it or not compared to the past few days....this was my equivalent of!}.....), for the 'Clinical Depression Pentathlon' in the Carlos Mencia Invitational Politically Incorrect World Deet..Dee-Dee Mental Health Games, AKA..... the 'Not So Special Olympics'.
Tomorrow should be better for real though, I am taking my last $20.00 and Rachel and I are going to a matinee and lunch. We are going to see "Gnomeo and Juliet" in Owings Mills, and then ride the Metro Subway and the Light Rail back to Mt. Washington and hang out in the Starbucks for a while, (since it is close to where she is living now and we may not have a ride back there, and the bus passes by the entrance to the apartments).
I have to go and do some repair work on the wall right now where the wind gust just blew out, (actually 'In', a cardboard panel.
See you tomorrow at some point....hopefully, unless Glinda shows up...
she ALWAYS has the best 'magic fairy dust' in OZ.....lmao!
(just fyi...this post was typed in bright green.....stupid Blogger/Google!)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

"Mood Music................................................"

Good Evening;

"Shower Drum Song........................................."

Good Afternoon;
I'm sitting here trying to contact someone, anyone, to find a place to take a shower sometime soon. It was much warmer last night than I expected and I really should not have the blanket covering the I found out when I woke up sweating and with a throbbing headache.
Still trying to fight my way through this fog of depression.
A hot shower and a cup of coffee would be welcomed...
(but the so would a hot kiss and a cold vodka gimlet.......if it didn't kill me
Back in a while....................if I have anything to say,

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

"Am I Going Colorblind Or What?.........................."

Good Evening;
So tell me is it just this computer or is Blogger having color issues?
Are all the words in the body of the past few posts either gray or black, (and I have been typing them in various brighter colors,) or is it this computer?
After I publish and check the blog......shades of gray!
(and this is dark red/maroon right now!)

"Jungle Drums..........................."

Good Evening;
So....not a good day.....everything hurts;......moving, not moving; thinking, not thinking; whether it is just the clinical depression, or the fibromyalgia, the quick and fairly extreme changes in temperature and barometric pressure or all the individual pains in alignment at this time, or the full moon, (with my recent luck I'll probably be diagnosed with Lycanthropism, 'or all of the above'; ..... everything hurts. I was just curled up in a fetal position until 2:00 pm. this afternoon, meds did not help, caffeine was useless, no stronger stimulants were available (or advised).
I feel as if I am fighting my way through an atmosphere of thick, sticky, marshmallow fluff,........ in darkness,..... with an elephant on my back,.... and a MMA match going on in my skull,.... in a wind tunnel,........during an earthquake.
Sh*t Happens, I know it will pass.....
....eventually....if I live through it. But knowing does not mean I have to like it, nor the clueless but well meaning people who tell you to 'cheer up', nauseum, and expect that you instantly do so, and won't take such gentle and subtle hints as......
"Would You Just Leave Me The F*ck Alone!!!!" delicately directed at them at full volume while frothing at the mouth and peering around wildeyed for a blunt object that will not leave a distinct mark or hold fingerprints well!.........(LMAO!!......[maybe?!?!].....)
Anyway......time to pack up here at the coffee shop.
I may be back later tonight or early tomorrow am.,
anybody have a trepanning saw I can borrow to let out some of the pressure
throbbing inside my head......."the natives are restless tonight bwana".
Sanity.....who needs's way over-rated, anyway!


Face to face with a moral dilemma

Good Evening;
A link to a story in The Vancouver Sun
about a study on Homelessness and
the difficulty of watching and not
getting involved with the 'Control Group'
when it is a human life.....
as opposed to a lab rat.


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"A Whiter Shade Of Pale...................."

Good Evening;
This post is more for the sake of continuity then content. Just one of those weeks, I'm feeling more profane than profound, more enervated than entertaining, and more overwhelmed than optimistic. Part of this has to do with pain, viewed separately.....all the malfunctional, misfunctional, & dysfunctional portions of my old beat up body and warped and twisted psyche don't look that troubling, but in combination....even old Doc Frankenstein would have had second thoughts before he hooked up the jumper cables!'s almost 1:00 am. and my fingers are beginning to look like uncooked, frozen bratwurst, and are about as nimble and flexible.....
so I'm outta here.....

"Rally 'Round The Flag Boys............................"

Good Evening;
Just FYI:

22nd Annual Homeless Persons’ Lobby Day in Annapolis

Diverse groups rally for health care, re-entry, and stronger safety net

ANNAPOLIS: On Thursday, February 17, more than 500 health care providers, students, people experiencing homelessness, and advocates for the poor will gather at 9:30 a.m. in Lawyers Mall for the 22nd Annual Homeless Persons’ Lobby Day. The rally brings togetherHealth Care for the Homeless, the Maryland chapter of the National Association of Social Workers, Out For Justice, B-More Housing for All, and others committed to ending homelessness in Maryland.

Rally participants will advocate for continued Medicaid expansion, re-entry services for those leaving jails and prisons, and for a strengthened safety net to assist families struggling to make ends meet in a troubled economy. Speakers include legislators, activists, college students, and people experiencing homelessness. Throughout the day, constituents will meet with elected officials about policies necessary to end homelessness and will testify during afternoon Senate hearings.

“Maryland’s safety net – though tremendously overburdened – helps to prevent and end homelessness,” said Jeff Singer, President & CEO of Health Care for the Homeless. “Especially in this troubling economic environment, we simply can’t afford additional cuts to important health programs and safety net services.”

Health Care for the Homeless (HCH) provides health-related services, education, and advocacy to reduce the incidence and burdens of homelessness in Maryland. Last year, HCH delivered adult and pediatric medical care, mental health services, social services and case management, addiction treatment, dental care, outreach, and supportive housing for 10,000 Marylanders at clinic sites in Baltimore City, and in Frederick, Montgomery, Harford, and Baltimore Counties. Nearly all HCH clients have incomes below Federal poverty guidelines, and 75% are uninsured.

Members of the press are welcome to ride with us by bus from Baltimore to Annapolis. For more information on Homeless Persons’ Day in Annapolis, please contact Adam Schneider at Health Care for the Homeless at 410/215-8319.

Health Care for the Homeless is building a future without homelessness.
Support our work at


ADDRESSEE LISTED ABOVE. This record has been disclosed in accordance with Subtitle 3 of Title 4 of the Health-General Article of the Annotated Code of Maryland. Further disclosure of medical information contained herein is prohibited. If you are neither the intended recipient nor the individual responsible for delivering this message to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure of patient information is strictly prohibited. If you have received this email in error, immediately notify us by telephone or return email


Monday, February 14, 2011

"So If That Little Flying Bastard Shoots Me In The Ass With Another Friggin' Arrow..........I'm Going To Wring His Cherubic Little Neck!..............

Good Evening;
So it didn't hit me until this afternoon when I was finally able to force myself to get up and out of the shed, (and it was tough, with the gentle soporific drip and splash of the melting snow and ice creating a constant, and get my ass over to the RiteAid to drop off the prescription refills for my BP meds, that it was Valentines Day. My subconscious must have been aware on an innate level all along of the impending holiday, and this obviously was what was fueling, in part, the flames of the depression that is consuming me right now.
For an unrepentant chauvinist and incurable romantic such as myself, having no one to share it with and expend all the built up romantic energy is like a dope fiend with a broken syringe.....AND clogged! (And believe me, I've been there too......ha!)
Anyway, I have absolutely no energy and coffee is only acting as a biological version of Liquid Plumber! I think I was supposed to go to physical therapy for the first time sometime today.........oh well, I'm not really sure about whether I want to deal with it or not. Hmmmmm, maybe that is what one of the phone calls I let go to voicemail was about. Things are really tense right now between Jenn and I, so I'm going to give her as much space, (& time & distance!), as I can, though part of it is her own fault. The message she sent me Saturday morning was just vague enough and revelatory enough at the same time to make me both worry like hell and give her the amount of privacy she requested. All I had been doing was asking a general "are you okay" and leaving it at that....not asking for any details, as a sign of respecting her wishes. The bitchy text this morning, in response to my text, after I had gotten no response from 2 e-mails that were not inquisitive, was really the topping to the 'sh*t sundae' life has been feeding my caged and enraged psyche since Friday. I tried to contact one of the 'approved' Psycholog- or Psychiatr-..-ists this afternoon.......and the number is 'no longer in service'.

I'm just bitching......and I can, so I

Sunday, February 13, 2011

"On The 'Net Again.....................Mobile!............"

Good Evening;
Just a quickie before the Starbucks closes and I lose the wifi.
This is the first post on my New..(to me...)..laptop.
A Sony VAIO that a customer left to Erik, (, that he got up and running and passed on to me to replace the "Dell that Died"
I may be back "LIVE From The Shed" later tonight.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

"Metaphors of Madness'........... Or...................'King Lear......Kindred Soul'..................."

Good Afternoon;

Well the last minute trip to the Dental Hygiene Clinic was a real downer, and that let open the floodgates of despair and washed away the last grains of hope that were holding up the hollow shell of a sandcastle that I have been using as a facade for so long. A combination of things such as looking up into the eyes of a woman I have loved and been in love with for years and finally admitting that the love reflected there only goes so far. Acknowledging in my heart, what I have known intellectually leaves a bittersweet sadness, the pain leavened by the very real love that is there and the length of time we have been friends.....(but it still sucks!

The exam and cleaning was ruined by the particular instructor that Michelle drew on Friday, who for some reason is overly critical compared to the others and the 'norm' by which judgements are made. Not only did she downgrade me from a level 2 to a level 1 rating of intensity and difficulty, (I was a level 3 last time and I have not had any needed dental work done since......????), but in the end she failed Michelle for the whole session, the only time in clinic, lab or externship that she has gotten less than excellent marks......."Something is rotten in the State of Denmark!".

And then the (even though I knew it was irrational) guilt at seeing my friend so upset and the impotence to help set off my fall into the abyss of depression that have been I have been hanging on the edge of like an avalanche waiting for that one certain sound or vibration to set it off.
Add in the previous few nights of bitter cold, the insomnia that popped up the past few nights leaving me exhausted all day and unable to rest at night, the chronic loneliness and absence of human contact that I was trying to replace with all the (medically needed and ordered, not frivolously abused) doctor visits and tests and exams, the medical findings that always seem to be somewhere worse than normal but not each by itself critically disabling yet when combined ARE so and having to fuss with each specialist to get them to look outside their own specialty to get them to then say...."Oh....yeah, I see what you mean"....(which does happen eventually, but it is wearing to have to keep forcing such a simple issue just to get confirmation), plus the fairly standard letdown, like the post holiday blues, that occurred after seeing Rachel,.....and not having found professional mental health personnel who are within the aegis of my healthcare insurance's umbrella AND in an area I am willing to travel in and to And with whom I feel a rapport and trust....and it is no surprise that the old demons come calling again. There are times I wish I could shut them up and want to jam an icepick in my ear to silence them! When "is this all there is...?" turns into
this is all there is....", and my old friend "When Not If" starts whispering in my ear again. I've always known since I was a little kid that it would be the most likely way I'd be leaving, but not just yet.....I hope.
Trying to stave off the impending and debilitating fog of depression with the "in the moment" physical and emotional triumphs, (whether my own doing or just serendipity), has worked for a while, such as.....the recent boon of the Lottery gods, and the chance meetings with people, (though that has been a double edged sword in some cases), and the electronic toys I have been blessed with. But it only hold for so long. And when I really needed someone to be with and no one was around or available or willing........back on the slippery slope to madness on my belly and face down.
Plus I'm worried about my daughter Jenn, who is going through something at home that has her upset enough not to talk about it. I was supposed to spend some time with her and the kids last night, but I got a text Saturday morning saying that she needed to be alone, she and the kids had spent the night at a friend's house, and to call her husband Tom and see if he is home and whether I can get in and out to shower and wash clothes while he is still there, (I had NOTHING clean to wear), and could I be gone before she got dropped off?...
We texted back and forth and I did not pry and told her I was there when she wanted or needed to talk, and hit the road.
I hit the coffee shop for the last hour because riding the buses and spending an hour there interacting with Anyone, even on a superficial level was better than being alone with my self. I had some cash to spend and felt like going out to a bar, but not having a "Cheers"-like place anymore, or a companion, "That way madness lies.....let me shun that!", and/or trouble of some form or another.
I left the coffeeshop at closing and bussed back to the shed, where I eventually fell asleep about 1:45 am, and woke every hour on the quarter hour, until I got up at 10:45 am. I hit the Giant, then went to Mickey D's and had some coffee and read until the library opened at 1:00 pm. I got a text from Erik of Pikesville PC, ( last night that the new refurbished laptop was ready for a test flight, and we are meeting here at the library sometime in the next hour.
Anyway.....the noise inside and outside my skull is getting too loud to concentrate on typing, and I've probably written way more than I should have or meant to when I started this post Saturday afternoon. [Look at the 'Posted' date.] (Though I did get lucky that I ran out of time before I could hit the 'Post' button yesterday....I was able to come back today and edit out a LOT!(!!!), of what could have been incriminating or 'grounds for involuntary commission' material!........LOL!!!.....(Maybe!?!).
I'm done for now, and exhausted again. Sorry if I'm not up to my usual level of humourous content.....but that's a facde sometimes too.
I'm supposed to start Physical Therapy tomorrow, but I don't remember what time, and I'm not feeling it anyway....soooooo, that's a maybe also.
Later...................maybe again tonight ,(if the laptop like!).
(and if I'm still bitchin' least I'm still alive)

Friday, February 11, 2011

"The Mohel Was Drunk.............OR............Why I've Always Been Leery Of Having Anything Surgically Removed!.................."

Good Morning;

It was another cold friggin' night last night! 14 degrees! I was reasonably comfortable though except when the blanket that I had tented up over my head kept slipping off and my face and my lungs started to burn with the cold.

As usual the worst part is crawling out of the bag either to answer nature's call or when it is time to get up. Since I slept in my jeans and sweat shirt that I am wearing now, it was one less hassle, (having to put on clothes in the cold that I warmed up by laying on top of in the bag), leaving only the part that really hurts, putting on the cold, inflexible boots. (Which are the ones I got at Target with the cracked outer layer, they're ugly but efficient enough at keeping my feet dry and warm..[sometimes too warm when they eventually warm, no middle ground...the story of my life!]..and which I could not get there to return due to weather and the lack of other shoes to put on and just bad timing.)

I got up and hit the Giant for a wash and a cup of coffee and a donut. I then came here to the library where I found a desperate e-mail from Michelle at BCCC hoping and praying I'd get it in time and be able to come in today to the Dental Hygiene Clinic because her appointment canceled on her at the last minute........Wellllll, never having been able to say no to her before for any reason, and always wanting a chance to see her, why should this day be any! I'm due there at 1:00 pm. when the clinic's afternoon session starts. Hmmmmm, and it's Friday.......Happy Hour beckons!

But first, here is the update from my visit to the surgeon yesterday. I have been extremely blessed with quality of the medical personnel I have been seeing. Especially since I have the lowball basic insurance provided through the Medical Assistance program, where it is not uncommon to hear horror stories about the doctors and staff. My only problems have been with the office/administrative types, all my doctors and technicians have not only been wonderful, but most are at or near the top of their field.

The surgeon I saw was Dr. Miles Harrison, Chief Of General Surgery at Maryland General Hospital, formerly the same at Sinai Hospital, and not only a great doctor, but a seriously funny guy! After reviewing the MRI, CT, and Ultrasound and consulting with Dr. Cristina Truica my Hematologist/Oncologist, (who is also one of the most highly rated and respected in her field and one of the youngest professors to be honored for her research into breast cancer), and talking with me it was decided that nothing needs to be cut out, or cut off, removed, or otherwise bent, spindled or mutilated....(unless it freezes and falls off one night from the cold). My gallbladder and spleen are between the highest point of "normal range" and the lowest point of "surgery necessary" usual for my body, it's never a simple black or (And of course I've had my share of incisions, with and without anaesthesia, both of which I've administered and performed on my own for amusement and recreational purposes........and had done by medical professionals in times of need.........LMAO!!!!

The decision is to watch and check frequently with blood tests to see if anything changes, report any new pain, and review again in 6 months. One of the reasons for this is the condition of my liver, and the desire not to place any unneeded strain on that already damaged organ. usual, and as I already know and really should be doing..........change diet, eating habits and lose weight and exercise more.........Guilty As Charged on all counts there....dontcha know....LOL!

Okay, I'm out of here to get the bus to Mondawmin and then the bus to Baltimore City Community College and Michelle. I'll be back at some point tomorrow, here, or from Jenn's on their laptop, (I'm heading over around dinner time to make a and roasted redskin potato w/garlic and parmesan, and shrimp in a garlic ailoi casserole and do laundry and shower), OR...cross fingers-knock wood...possibly my own laptop if I hear from Erik of Pikesville PC, ( )...(gotta put in a plug for his business, it's only fair......if you need some repairs or a tune-up, to add hardware, cleaning and security, etc........check him out).


Thursday, February 10, 2011

"Don't Forget The Vet!......................."

Good Afternoon;

There is an article in Thursday's "USA Today" about how veterans who make up only 10% of the population make up 16% of the homeless.

enter "Homeless Veterans 16%" in search box


National Coalition For Homeless Veterans

"Ice Extravaganza.............. Cousin/Cousine ....................................... Down To The Doctor..................."

Good Afternoon;
Back at the library but hopefully not for much longer. Erik of Pikesville PC, ( For Service-Setup-Security), wrote me to say he may have me mobile again over the weekend with any luck. I've got my fingers crossed, I got spoiled really quick, having my own laptop and!

Last night Rachel and I went to see "Disney On Ice - Princess Wishes", and say what you want about the 'The Rat's' reputation vis a vis the ecology in Florida, and their employment practices, etc.....Disney knows how to put on one hell of a show! It was wonderfully choreographed and the lighting and special effects were awesome. Just before the show started I got a text from Jenn saying they took a chance and came down and got tickets. They were almost directly across from us on the other side of the arena, about 10 rows lower. With the zoom on Rachel's new camera we were eventually able to spot them...of course Edward saw us right away when I stood up and waved my must be his 'demon eyes', when I took a photo of their section his eyes blazed silver...ha!

What was even more fantastic was that I met my cousin Harriet's, (from my Grandfather's first marriage, who came up to me in the library after the Jewish Times story last year at this time), by chance at the show. I remember she told me he works part time as an usher at First Mariner Arena, and I saw this older guy among the kids and twenty-somethings that make up most of the ushers, Icoluld barely make out his name tag but I thought it said B*****, so I asked him if his wife's name was Harriet well after the first exchange of 'what a coincidences', he called Harriet on his cell phone during intermission and we chatted for a few minutes. It is just another example of how tiny Baltimore is, earning it's nickname of "Smalltimore"........LOL!

When we stepped outside there was dusting of snow on everything....where did that come from??!!??...........LOL! Rachel and I took the train down and back from Mt. Washington and her mother picked her up, (and ran me up the street to the bus stop in front of their apartment complex because the train had stalled for some reason at the previous stop, making us late and there was no way I could have made it to the bus loop from the Light Rail in time....luckily, the driver knew I was expecting to catch her that trip and had waited an extra couple minutes before leaving, saving me an hours wait until the next and last bus.).

I slept warm last night in the shed, and did not want to get out of the bag, so I stayed there until about 11:00 pm. when I got up and went to the Giant for a wash and food. I have a 2:00 pm appointment with the surgeon, regarding the gallbladder, at Jai, so I am leaving here soon.

Then I'll probably be heading back over to the Starbucks for the evening, unless I hear from Jenn that she needs a sitter.

I'll be back here at the library sometime tomorrow, I hope,