Quotation of the Day

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

"Too Pooped Too Patter..............................."

Good Evening;
It's been a long, hot, sticky, drag-ass day and I'm just sitting here in front of the First Watch Cafe waiting for the old geezers to come out and drive away so I can go see how hot the shed is. Their is a nice breeze beginning to pickup now and that will help if I am able to leave the door open for a few minutes and run the little fan. I can't tell if it's going to rain or not, this may just be the leading edge of the cold front.

I'm exhausted and stressed about the 'ex' who is getting 'scoped' tomorrow to try to remove a gall stone from the common duct, and then having the gall bladder removed as soon after that as she is well enough to have it done.....if the 'numbers' for the liver are within a safe range. (This is what the doctor will not do to me because of all the related damage to liver, pancreas, & spleen).
I'll see you tomorrow.
Later Dave

"Paper Work.......................Paper Jam............................Paper Shredder........................................Confetti.................

Good Evening;

The article below is so very true, and it is not only Section 8 that has the reams of repetitive paperwork and questionnaires and interviews.

DSS, SSA, DORS, and the rest of the alphabet soup of agencies, public, private, secular, and religious everywhere one goes.

And not just housing ,.....food, medical, drug treatment; ......waiting lists to get on waiting lists, ......built in multiple denials before presenting one's case to a human who can make an actual decision, deadlines missed and begging for 'good cause extensions'--due to letters and/or notifications received the day before or AFTER a deadline for filing, and notifications of a deadline being printed and mailed out on the DAY OF the deadline.....and DATED SO ON THE LETTER!!!, (this just happened to Jenn last week, one of my emergency babysitting days), denial of receipt of an application or request/directive for more information being received......when one has the USPS registered/certified retuirn receipt in hand.....and on and on ad nauseum.

And then there are things like being told you have been deemed eligible for a service or benefit, but there are no available slots, and there will not be any at anytime before your eligibility will expire and you will have to apply again.....and be put on the bottom of the list because you were deemed eligible and did not use/accept/partake of.....whatever it was you were applying for........even though it was impossible to do so.
Can you say "Catch - 22" boys and girls.


The most bureaucratically disheartening thing I have ever personally felt was 12 or 13 years ago when I had hit rock bottom, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually from heroin addiction and homelessness, and literally had one foot in the grave. I knew I either had to get help or I was going to die, if not from the drug directly, then from the inability to continue living the way I was and the pain and the shame that had become so unbearable the only escape I could fathom was to end my own life. I scraped up enough money, (through some nefarious ways and methods that now make me cringe to think how far I had fallen and how close to totally losing my soul I had come to!), and got enough dope to get myself 'out of the gate' and 'well' or no longer 'ill', as it known on the streets, or just barely enough (for me! ) to be functional.....(of course at the time it took as much to just be 'well' as 3 of us used to shoot up in a weekend!) There was going to be an 'outreach' van from one of the substance abuse rehabilitation and prevention organizations that acted as a clearing house and pre-screening conduit to the actual programs at a nearby corner to one of my 'areas of operation' that morning, (it was a Friday), and I forced my self to show up. I ended up sitting on the porch of an abandoned rowhouse for 3 & 1/2 hours before I could build up the courage to go in, but eventually I did.

Now.......I gotta tell ya, the thing that brought me 'in out of the cold' was one of the taglines this organization used and plastered all over the city at the time;
"The Time Is Now! Immediate Help! MedicalTreatment Fast! Free Placement".
Well, an active addict lives in the moment, and immediate gratification is the byword.
After I went inside and was 'pre-interviewed', filled out a ream of forms and releases, and peed in a cup and tested positive at a level high enough to meet their criteria......
the REAL interview and paper marathon began. I was also briefly vetted by an MD. and a Psy.D. to certify that I was medically and mentally eligible, not about to die on the spot, nor likely to go 'postal' anytime soon.....(little did they know... :-( !).
3 hours after I went in....{and 2 hours after the little bit, (again...to me at that point in time), of dope had worn off and I was crawling out of my skin and going out of my mind}....one of the women in charge of placement...(and I forgot to mention that from the moment I walked in and at regular and frequent intervals during the whole process I was asking for and receiving confirmation that.....YES! if I was approved, ["and don' you worry none hon, itz obvious you gone be level A1 priority"], I would automatically qualify for a bed. Which I responded to with, "Right away, right?, I'll be able to get a ride from here won't I? I'm packed like the flyers said, ready to be searched and everything too." .........the very idea of not having to go out for another night of "acquiring unclaimed objects" for the pawn shop in the morning, or helping people perform ''involuntary withdrawals and cash transfers", or performing a public service by teaching suburban/rural, white bread, county, yuppie and/or yuppie puppie narcotic dilettantes the tangential dangers of drug abuse by illustrating the fact that a.) "you can't trust anyone with your money, because they either may never reappear," or b.) "if they do......you may have just ended up purchasing confectioner's sugar or flour at rates that extrapolate out to $40,000 @ pound", ....AND....not having to be or worry about being "ill" again another morning, was the only thing keeping the steaming, scalding, nearly boiling over pot of my emotions and barely suppressed, twitchy, ready to blow physical pain, frustration, and anger from exploding into a mindless meltdown of volcanic proportions.....or so I believed.
So one of the placement people comes over to me in the corner where I'm sitting alternately freezing and sweating, with mouth and rectum clenched tight desperately fighting being 'ill', praying they'll finish up and tell me where I am being sent so I can get THERE as soon as I can and begin to fill out THEIR forest load of paper and get some Methadone, (the most prevalent 'substitution drug at that time) in me, so I can 'feel normal', and says to me with a big smile, "Good News! We got you a slot right here in town...."ring ring......went the phone"......"uh huh, uh huh, okay....well alright , thanks, that's fantastic! bye now".... "Even Better News, there has been a cancellation, and you are at the head of the list now for the very next bed.....when it becomes free in 2 weeks!! that's the shortest wait ever!"
"WTF" I shouted, you've been telling me for 3 hours..."today or tonight--today or tonight"... that I would be "IN A PROGRAM" !?!?!?!
"Well you in a program ain't chew? You can do walk-in day classes until you gets yo baid" she snarled back.
"3 Questions......Can I get medicated in this walk-in portion? Is there any Detox provided before I get a bed? And do I get 'pissed'?"
"No, no, yes."
"One more.....if I pee dirty, what happens?"
"Oh you gots to leave fo de day"
{Notice how the veneer of civility and proper English vanished quite rapidly as she angry at being challenged and pressured about the truth)
"So, I can't get ANY sort of medications, bed,or detox for 2 weeks, I can't even try to wean down myself just to keep from getting 'ill', and if I'm dirty I'm out before I'm even in?
"Well no one ever gets a bed befo 2 weeks"
"What about all the signs saying 'Immediate' & 'now'? If I could go 2 weeks by myself I'd have no need for your stupid bed!"
"Thems fo clients wif insurance, or cash.......not all y'all street trash"
"But you get paid by the Feds/State/City to help us "Street Trash"!
"Oh we gets paid to interview everbody whether we place y'all or not, but we gets paid from the programs to send thems the insurance peoples, and the insurance compnees kickback if we steer their clients their programs!"
----Sound of high heels clicking down hallway of the motorhome/van used as field office as she goes to get security guard.

----Sound of shredder as I stuffed what looked to be, (and was it turns out.....lol) 4 manila envelopes full of City/State/Fed/ & Ins. Co. checks and some sort of ready to be mailed Federal compliance report.....AND......EVERY FORM, EVERY RELEASE, EVERY FREAKIN' PIECE OF PAPER I EVEN TOUCHED into the gnashing teeth of the paper shredder....
----Click of the gently closing back door, followed by sound of a serendipitously leaving MTA bus pulling away......LOL!
(I'd like to say that there was a silver lining and a happy ending here....but, nope, it took me another 6 months to get into a detox that appeared to be legit....{HA!!!, Look up BBH in the Baltimore Sunpapers, (www.baltsun.com)!}....and by that time I had weaned my self down to the point where I could go "cold turkey", which is what happened after I walked out of BBH after 2 days of bullsh*t.
Although I guess the fact that the "Outreach Van" scam was exposed a couple months later and some folks faced Federal fraud charges, {rumor had it that the investigation was initiated by their request for the reissuing of so very many checks that were all 'accidentally lost or destroyed' from so many different govt. issuers all at the same time, and an anonymous tip that sometimes more than one jurisdiction was billed for the same client ID #}, could be considered good news.

But I have been babbling again, here is the article I'd like you to take a look at.

Barriers To Subsidized Housing Cause Homelessness
By Joel John Roberts | Jun 27, 2011

They came straggling into the conference room, situated in one of the homeless centers I oversee. You would think they would be excited, hopeful, maybe even exuberant.

Half a dozen case workers sat at the table with them going through preliminary paperwork to help them access Section 8 vouchers, subsidized rental assistance from the federal government.

The wait for these coveted housing vouchers can be multiple years, since jurisdictions around the country have only a limited supply in comparison to the thousands of people in need of housing.

These people walking in were homeless, and they literally looked defeated with eyes peering down, feet shuffling, and indifferent facial expressions. The hard years on the streets took a toll on them, defeating any sense of hope.

They did not look like eager concert goers waiting in line in hopes of landing a coveted ticket to their favorite pop singer. Instead, these homeless people were in line thinking this might be the last chance they ever have to secure permanent house.

By the end of the day, eleven people were lucky enough to appear ready to apply for housing. Of the eleven, seven people were disabled homeless seniors.

We looked at these so-called “lucky” applicants, homeless seniors who should be enjoying their golden years rather than struggling to figure out how to find housing.

Were they lucky? Maybe because they are now on the path to accessing a Section 8 housing voucher, but in reality they should not be struggling on the streets. Besides, they had just taken the first of many confusing steps in the application process.

Application Barriers

Gaining a highly demanded housing voucher means overcoming three very difficult barriers.

The first barrier is time. The application process is time consuming and long. It could take months to go through the process.

They don’t set you up in a hotel or an apartment so you can wait for your application to be approved. Instead, you’re still on the streets hiding from harm and in search of food with no idea if your application was accepted.

A laundry list of strict rules is the second barrier. You have to fit every category in order to be approved. Each local public housing authority (PHA) develops its own list. In some local jurisdictions, it means that if you struggle with alcoholism and drugs, you don’t make the cut.

If you committed some sort of crime, you’re out. You also need your driver’s license, social security card, a personal budget. You have to apply for other public benefits, like food stamps. Some Public Housing Authorities’ (PHA) ask for credit reports.

Finally, perfection is king. Any errors on an application result in failure. Going to the end of the line probably means a lifetime of homelessness. A personal interview can also be mandated, so a wrong answer could be disastrous. Checking an incorrect box or using the wrong word could also end your quest for housing.

Bureaucratic Nightmare

Subsidized housing is such a bureaucratic nightmare for people living on the streets who should have the right to be housed. How does a hurting, struggling homeless person overcome these barriers and navigate a dizzying system of rules and procedures by themselves?

No wonder homelessness persists in this country. You practically need to be a Certified Public Accountant to follow the rules in a game of subsidized housing that is designed to turn people away, not embrace the neediest.

I can’t imagine how a chronically homeless person who has been languishing on the streets for multiple years and struggling with some sort of disability has any chance of overcoming the barriers of subsidized housing.

Photo credit: Staci Myers


The past couple days have been spent pretty much just trying to manage the pains in my abdomen, kidneys, back and shoulder, without using up all my meds because I really don't even have enough to last until Saturday the 2nd as it is, (and still no inkling whether my DSS/TDAP account is corrected or not, and probably won't until I call the tollfree number after Midnight Fri./Sat. at some point and see if I have a balance), and I am still sh*tting bricks, (figuratively....lol, I'm still dealing with occasional light but unexpected sneak attack of my viral passenger.

Also I've been troubled because not only am I dealing with major Gastro-Intestinal issues, as is my son-in-law Tom, Jenn's husband who I've wrote about and had to do some babysitting for....but I just found out my 'ex', Rachel's mother is in the hospital via the ER for the past couple days, and she also is having gallbladder problem and is supposed to be having it removed.....but the doctors can't and won't just yet because they don't like her bloodwork results as regards the liver function numbers.

So, except for the one night last week that I mentioned I caught up on sleep.....well, it's 5:07 am........AGAIN!, and I'm awake damnit. Yeah, and sitting at the table at Starbucks, where the coffee was doing nada, I'm sitting there slowly staring into space and nodding off.

I do want to express my deep appreciation for all the sandwiches and the croissants and coffee cake I'm being gifted with this week, it's a good thing Jenn has room in the freezer because I'm keeping these! It's my food supply this week!

Any way....sorry about the fonts and the color mess, who knows wtf is happening, it is random as hell, and I don't give a flying fcuk anymore.


Later.............................Dave

Saturday, June 25, 2011

"It Only Hurts When I Laugh.............................."

Good Afternoon;
More medical mayhem and abdominal absurdity,
gastrointestinal glee and hiatal hilarity,
and, of course...intestinal insanity;

And who could forget;

And... With apologies to Dr. Suess;
First they said B, then they said C, then the C was almost impossible to see, Now I'm told of concerns about D, which a new one on me; And that "Oh say can you C",
.....again matters to me!
&

Or;

And the new kid on the block;

When the Doc started to make a joke about running some more intensive tests on the kidney anomalies....when I regained the blood capacity to spare any!.....
I kind of said... "Whoa!......TM(F)I!" and she said, (seeing the deepening glaze descending over my eyes), we'll talk about it next time.

Well, at least I had first visit to the bathroom at 1:30 am. last night/this morning where I was not desperate to the point of fear I would not make it....and as near normal as my body ever produces since the car accident in 1980 when the engine block that ended up crushed back into my lap shredded my intestinal tract so that it looked like a garden hose hidden in the grass that had been run over by a lawn mower.....lol. Add in 12+ uninterrupted hours of sleep, (which for me means getting up twice to pee and once to take morning meds without truly reaching a state of conscious awareness of anything but the direct action focused upon.....lol), and the fact that the shed was actually cool up until the time I rolled out after 2:00 pm. and I am beginning to recover nicely from the physical effects of the past weeks viral invasion of my "inner being".....lol.
As for the mental crap, well one good thing that can be said for 'PSD' (Pre-Suicidal Depression...lol), is that it stimulates my creative writing desires, (and possibly abilities...but to say so would be conceited.......lol).

Anyway....at least tears of laughter are mixed with those of the pain, physiological as well as psychological, because right now that punchline from the old joke that I used in the title is like Dr. Suess says;

“Today you are You, that is truer than true.

There is no one alive who is Youer than You.


Later...................Dave

"Caleb"...........AND .........."Prospero?...........OR.......Sam Spade?...........'Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On/Of''...."

Good Afternoon;
The link below will take you to a story and video at the Invisiblepeople.tv blog:
Another example busting the homeless person stereotype and illustrating (to me at any rate based on my experience) in a way how the 'shelter model' that strips away hope and any sense of independence and here in Baltimore seethes with an underlying current of anger and violence is so much less appealing than a 'community' of homeless helping homeless.
In the past year I've seen articles in news reports from across the country telling of police and governments banning, evicting, and demolishing such encampments. In the majority of cases, places that existed for years with little or no problems have been suddenly rated undesirable by the actions of a small, but vocal or influential, segment of a particular community. Many times the land is soon after found to have been desired by developers with ties to 'city hall'. Other times a new resident of an area containing an established and winked at though technically illegal settlement is the instigator of a campaign to displace the homeless living there, (of course with no plans or contingencies for where they will go), through a personal NIMBY sentiment.

What if some local jurisdictions donated a dumpster and a spot-a-pot, and zoned some area with no commercial or residential desirability, (preferably near access to public transportation), to allow camping out.......predicated upon the restriction that the residents policed themselves based on a model of some of the other successful 'tent cities' regarding behavior, drugs and alcohol, and sanitation?
Pipe dreams?
"Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions"
Edgar Cayce

Later....................................Dave


Friday, June 24, 2011

"A Coney Island Of The (Seriously Disturbed) Mind......OR.....DisneyLand On Downers.....Definitely NOT 'The Happiest Place On Earth'!................"

Good Evening;
Well it never stormed as I hoped it would today, which would have soaked the dry parched wood of the shed and helped to cool it immensely. The air has dried out and the humidity and temperature are now quite pleasant, as is the slight breeze intermittently swirling around.
I ended up spending the whole day at Jenn's until 6:30 pm. this afternoon because she asked me if I had any plans, and if not would I mind watching the kids. Well, between no sleep, the threat of thunderstorms in the early afternoon (which never materialized!) putting a hold on the pool with Rachel, the near 90 degree heat and high humidity not being an appealing enough reason to want to leave the house, and not having the extra bus fare to go and get Rachel and pick her up and go to the library for an hour then take her back home....I wasn't in the best of moods and did not want to leave the A/C so I told her I would.
Which turned out to be a double edged sword. On one hand Edward and Devin spent most of the day gnawing on my last nerve like a rat and a seagull fighting over a chicken bone......but on the other hand I was nice and close to the bathroom when my guts went from 'viral' to 'postal', the irritation being exacerbated by way to many hours without rest and the steadily building anxiety that has chewed it's way into my psyche.

Between the 'letdown' that always follows a good day with Rachel as I exit the short segment of 'normality' and return to 'my normality' where I'm bouncing around like a pinball from the passive bumpers of bureaucratic indifference and incompetence to the flippers of active interference as exemplified by weather, pain, personalities, and worries of disappearing finances, food, and meds. , and the lack of sleep and the beginning of a predicted and calculated slide on the downslope of the charted, cyclical, clinical, depressive rollercoaster.........and the natural gut wrenching twists and spins as I try to keep from blowing chunks and blowing my brains out as I slam back and forth uncontrollably on the "Guilt-A-Whirl", splashed with the spilled remains of Schizophrenic Slushee and Paranoia Popcorn in a technicolor nightmare that resembles a Spin-Art painting of shattered dreams, unfulfilled potential, lost chances, lost innocence, and lost hope....channeled along the poisoned and polluted stream that leads to and through the "Tunnel Of Loneliness"....which debouches into the stinking and stagnant "Lake Of Lost Souls" that lies below the burning and bloody Ramparts Of Regret And Remorse....upon which is built the "Mansion Of Madness", a Palace Of Pain existing only within the mind yet encompassing and enveloping all of my existence......where my sanity creeps like a roach in the darkness, a foul, fell, tortured thing preyed on and played with by the twin demons of fear and despair........cruelly crushed to within mere milliseconds of blessed relief and endless eternal escape, only to be revived at the last moment to the howls and cackles of evil and hateful laughter, renewed and rejuvenated with memories intact and inflamed and impotent of action....to be forced and driven to the edge of madness and the abyss and forbidden the last step over the precipice that would allow a final freedom to be found.

And now that the fragments of fantasy and reality have become so blurred that I'm not sure of the difference, if there is a difference, if it matters, or if I even care anymore.......... I am going to find someplace to lay down and close the eyes of my body, soul, and mind...... and see what awaits when once again I open them.

Later........................................Dave

With apologies to Lawrence Ferlinghetti and Walt Disney

"Sanity And Happiness Are An Impossible Combination------------------------Mark Twain"

Good Morning;
First I'd like to thank a new reader for a very positive and encouraging comment posted on June 19th on the 'Rockin' the Baby Daddy Day Rap' post.
Ralahinn1, your words and thoughts are much appreciated.

So the 'irregularity' issue (to put it mildly....lol) has lessened by an appreciable margin, but still makes it's presence known with little if any warning. This morning I woke up at 10 minutes to 6:00 am. and stepped into a pair of shoes and got to the Giant just as the door were being unlocked, the first occurrence in over 14 hours and I'm hoping that it was the next to last. I had some mild stomach pain this evening, but there may be another reason for that which I will explain in a minute, and an urgent but not critical need to hit the bathroom too. I'm here at Jenn's 'not sleeping' after watching the kids, showering and doing laundry. I got here about 5:30 pm. after spending all day since about 10:30 am. or so with Rachel.
Her mother called me around 9:00 am. asking what my other plans were for the day. She was aware that I had planned to be over at some point in the afternoon to go to the pool at their apartments with Rachel and wanted to know if I could come over in the morning and spend the day because Rachel's stepsister had been called away for some last minute work opportunity. They came and picked me up at the Giant about 10:00 am. and dropped Rachel and I off at the apartment. We played and watched TV and had lunch and played with the cats and the dogs until around 3:00 pm. when we went to the pol for 90 minutes with her brother and sister, my former stepkids, who had come home by then and had the pool pass. We spent a nice hour and a half in the water under hot but cloudy skies. It is kind of a strange dynamic but I get along well with 3 of the 4 kids from my ex'es first marriage, (and even they no longer are close as before with their older sister....partly due to their dislike of their father and his hypocritical attitudes, behavior, and actions regarding HIS particular brand of Orthodox Judaism, and her succumbing to his brainwashing efforts, and partly due to her near shunning of them and their more liberal beliefs....'it's complicated' does not even begin to describe the situation, which itself is one of the main reasons I was forced out of the home I was living in with my (then) wife and child....but that's a story for another post...or 20.....lol), and let her brother get on my laptop to access his FB while Rachel and I played because his brother had changed the password on his....lol.
After the pool I quickly changed and grabbed the 4:45 pm. bus to Jenn's. They were going to her sponsor's anniversary...14 years, alright!!!...and rolled out about 6:30 pm. getting home near 11:00 pm.....just in time to say goodnight to Edward who forced himself not to sleep......partly to watch the end of 'The Polar Express', which he has only seen in excess of 100 times, and partly I think just to annoy the hell out of me....lol.

Now I am the one who can't sleep, and the TV from upstairs, which is not overly loud in what would be a normally constructed apartment complex, but in these piece of crap building made of balsa wood, tissue paper, spit, and toe cheese, the low frequency rumble carried through the ceiling and walls in like a constant subliminal gargling just above the threshold of hearing that sets teeth and nerves on edge. It can't be drowned out because the level at which that would happen is just that much too loud for comfort and courtesy. If you've ever had your blood roaring in your ears while suffering from a head cold or sinus problem, you know what I mean. The same effect as if you did too large of a blast of coke, what we used to call the "freight train" roaring through your brain.....lol.
Or like those voices jussssst on the edge of hearing that you have to strain to understand.......that you are asking..."What?? what was that????? do what to who??.....and you are???....what? say that again..... You're the lord of all weevils? you're bored of the darkness?......what...WHAT?????......look call me back when you get the psychotic hotline repaired".............yeah...kinda like that............lol.



Later....................Dave

Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Too Hot To Sleep And The Vodka's Gone........Another Slimy Night In Baltimore......................"

Good Morning;
It's too hot to sleep, and I'm too tired, hot, and sticky to feel like writing as I sit here on the bench in front off the First Watch.
The predicted thunderstorms never appeared and the line of storms to the south that was forecast for early AM. today looks to be petering out as they head up along the Appalachians, and dying completely as they turn East. Lovely another hot and muggy, 90 plus degree, high humidity day.

Plans are in the works to head over to Rachel's house and go to the pool with her on the guest pass for either today or Friday, depending on what happens with the storms called for from around midday on. I have to monstersit the grandkids Thursday evening so I'm spending the night on Jenn's recliner.

The best option is possibly to head over to the pool to meet Rachel and her sister at 11:00 am. Friday when it opens, spend a few hours there and then get a ride from her mother to the library about 1:30 pm. to catch the free 2:00 pm. show of Mike Rose a comedic magician. We saw him last year or the year before and he is very good and very funny too.

Anyway, even the heat coming off the laptop is oppressive, and the damn thing is also sticking to exposed skin on any flat surface I touch....I feel extra scummy tonight.

Later....................................Dave

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

"Beautify America................................ Flush An Asshat! ..........................."

Good Evening;
So the wackos are out and at it again. I was no particular fan of Ryan Dunn or "Jackass"
but there are plenty of hardcore, 'don't give a f*ck', X gamer types who are.
I truly wish that they show up and express their right to Free Speech and Expression through
the media of "Full Contact Sign Language", a little known offshoot of the more commonly
used ASL, or "American Sign Language", when used properly, it can be most compelling and convincing
as a means of getting across one's point in a way even the most moronic Westboro Baptist Crazy can comprehend.
As well as visually beautiful and satisfying to the observer, whether they speak it or not.


This on the other hand, is a lovely story of how one town refused to cave into
the immoral manipulation of the Constitution by these asshats when they tried to disrupt the funeral of a local hero who was killed in Afghanistan.

I would have liked to see them "cut 'em off at the knees".......but,
at least they followed a long and favored tradition of the American West and Silver Screen heroes, like John Wayne, Roy Rogers, Tom Mix, and Randolph Scott ..........and..............."cut 'em off at the pass"!

Later..............................Dave

P.S. Welcome Follower #32, Nora.
Thanks for reading!
D.

No Guts....No Glory............Or A Nasty Case Of Montezuma's Revenge!....................."

Good Afternoon;

This is an article from the Ogden, Utah 'Standard/Examiner'

That a friend on FB posted a little while ago, seems whatever is ripping my insides to shreds is tearing up others here in Baltimore also because there have been quite a few "me too" comments and e-mails I've received.............:

OGDEN -- Hospital emergency rooms and physicians' offices have been flooded with patients experiencing a quick-striking stomach virus.

The bug, commonly called "stomach flu," causes nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, fatigue and head and muscle aches, say health experts.

"We are seeing a significant number of people with this, but that always seems to happen this time of year," said McKay-Dee Hospital trauma nurse and critical care coordinator Kayleen Paul. "People are telling us that it seems to last longer, though, and I can verify that in my own family."

Paul said it's unclear whether people are getting re-infected with a new batch of virus or whether the original virus is just more virulent and longer-lasting.

"Stomach flu is what we call gastroenteritis," Paul said. "It's an inflammation of the stomach and small intestine. Although bacteria can cause gastroenteritis, the vast majority of what we are seeing is viral, caused by viruses, and the big majority of the viral cases are caused by norovirus."

Ogden Regional Medical Center and Lakeview Hospital also are seeing a number of patients with the bug.

"We've seen more than average over the past few weeks," said Ogden Regional Medical Center ER physician Val Rollins. "These things are seasonal and can come and go at almost any time. One to two days is typical for most people, but it can drag on for weeks with some people."

Lakeview Hospital ER physician Matthew Feil said it's normal to feel queasy for a short time after a stomach illness, because of the natural balance in the gastrointestinal tract being compromised and trying to return to normal.

Besides being re-infected or being infected with a more virulent strain, inadequate hydration can cause the bug to linger, Feil said.

"Also, the cells lining the GI tract must have time to get back to normal, so to speak," he said. "There is no cure, just a matter of staying hydrated and allowing it to run its course. If one is unable to hydrate adequately on their own, then IV fluid is needed."

Paul said the virus is highly contagious, so if you have it, stay home. Drink plenty of fluids. Water or half-strength juices are best, say all three experts. Get plenty of rest, take over-the-counter, non-aspirin pain relievers for fever and body aches and remember, antibiotics will not help you recover if the illness is caused by a virus.

Handwashing is the best way to prevent both the bug and spreading it to others.

"Scrupulous handwashing or sanitizing is absolutely essential," Paul said. "The good news about norovirus is that it is relatively easy to kill. What a wonderful thing handwashing is. It's cheap, easy and can protect you from respiratory diseases, stomach diseases, germs, pus, viruses, dirt and many other bad things. Now we just need a chocolate-flavored soap."

If a family member is sick, be sure their bedding, towels and dishes are kept away from other family members and thoroughly washed in hot, soapy water.

If you aren't feeling better in a reasonable length of time, or if your symptoms are severe, see your doctor.

"This is important, because many dangerous medical diseases can present the same way," Feil said.

The real killer is the damn 'calm before the storm - sneak attacks' when you think it's pretty much passed........and then you have the reasonably normal urge to pass gas, and suddenly realize that you absolutely MUST get to a bathroom before you do, because if you don't their is a 90% certainty you are REALLY going to regret not doing so immensely! Sunday night at Jenn's was no big deal, get up out of the chair and take 20 steps.

Saturday, Monday, Tuesday nights and mornings and Wednesday morning was a different story. Up, rip off the sleeping shorts and tee shirt and very carefully put on the 'non-religious' shirt and shorts (un-'holey'....lol) and very delicately slip into a pair of old raggedy sneakers I use for slippers, taking every care not to bend or compress the stomach area too much. Then...unblock the door, slip out of the shed and re-latch from the outside and in a non-intentional parody of a 'power walker' hurry over to the gas station or Giant, depending on the time. (For cleanliness and sanitary reasons the Giant is preferred....there is a foul smelling drain that is directly below the plane your nose is in when sitting on the throne and 'assuming the position', and the time and effort needed to make the seat 'sittable' is quickly eating away at the time left before nature takes it's course....violently!) The operative word is...'clench'.....................lol! Once the cycle re-starts, it goes on for 3-8 hours.

I have had no vomiting or severe cramps, (other than extremely low in the abdomen that are from delaying a needed release of a sudden gas buildup), and the muscle aches usually associated with the other symptoms did not appear until last night, though the tiredness has been steadily accruing. The worst part is the feeling better and the 180 degree change in seconds.

I've been trying to rehydrate steadily and continuously with water and a DIY Pedialyte concoction using Powerade Zero as the base and added electrolyte, minerals, and vitamins in drops and powders from a friend who is well versed in natural pharmacology....no, truly, the real thing! (okay so she is also one of the finest hydroponic horticulturists I've ever know also, but I've not partaken of any of THAT type of crop for....???.....damn over 10 years! wow! hadn't realized it had been that long......but the reasons for that are purely voluntary and a story for another day.) Knowing what to eat, and having a limited menu to select from....it's near the end of the month, funds are running low to non-existent, ... makes things a bit difficult.

WOW....ya know...I've said it before, call it God, call it fate, call it kismet, call it karma.....but serendipity and synchronicity happen to connect and conjoin way too often to call it coincidence. As I typed in that last sentence in the previous paragraph my friend whose daughter swims competitively and practices at the swim club across the street from the coffee shop walks in and tells me that she was sharing some of my story and my book of poetry with her daughter the other night and her daughter, (they wish not to be named), started throwing her change into a piggy bank and wanted her mom to give it to me, and kept asking 'why haven't you given Dave his money?'. Well due to circumstances and schedules we have not seen each other for a week, but today my friend walks in and in the process of catching up we find out that her daughter went through the very same stomach virus and had the same range of symptoms I am having.....and that it lasted nearly 3 weeks because of the sneaky nature of the bug and the appearance of being over it....and then...........WHAM!

That's kinda freaky....but in a good way....lol. So now I've got a few more days bus fare and meal money, and a 'warm and fuzzy' shield surrounding me generated by the quietly decent people out there who in their own small way, one by one and one on one, counteracting the abuses and abominations committed by the asshats like Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Crazies.

(Depending on when you read this, you'll have already read the post and link following this one, {or you'll have to check back in a little while...it will be new to you folks}, about these idiots planning to show up at the funeral of Ryan Dunn of "Jackass".....and a related link to a story earlier this spring about a town who stalemated the bastards when they came to disrupt the funeral of a local hero killed in Afghanistan.

I'll be back tonight.

Later.........................Dave

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

"Not Dead Yet.........Just Feel And Smell That Way.........................."

Good Afternoon;
I'm just checking in to let you all know I'm still alive and (feebly) kicking.
The past few days have really taken a lot out of me (pun intended) in more ways in one! Hungry as hell but afraid to eat I'm constantly reloading with fluids and electrolytes as fast as I lose them. The humidity and the heat is not helping one bit, when it's not cold sweats it's heat sweats. I went to Jenn's for an hour for an emergency shower....DON'T ask!!!.....and when I left for the bus stop, I was soaked again in 2 blocks.

Anyway, I'll be back tonight, I hope.
Later.........................................Dave

Sunday, June 19, 2011

"Rockin' The 'Baby Daddy' Day Rap.............................."

Happy Father's Day;
Mouse over the link above and click on it,
and when the new page comes up,
scroll down just a bit and click on the video,
(you'll see the arrow on the silver minivan).

It is well written, well sung, well acted,
and not only funny but poignantly true to life.

"Middle America Is In The House, Yo!"

Later......................'D-Daddy Dave-Diddy'

"One MOTHER! Of A Start To Fathers Day..............................."

Good Morning;
So I'm hoping like hell that what woke me from an already troubled and interrupted sleep is only an extreme case of a lactose related bad reaction to the milk I had on my cereal just before Midnight, exacerbated by a boatload of coffee late in the day yesterday........rather than some sort of bacterial/viral food borne illness.
The symptoms of both are the same; cramps, a sudden intense need to find a place to evacuate one's bowels ...... NOW!!--or Else!, an explosive process once arriving (hopefully in time) at such place, multiple irregularly spaced encores, and tired achy muscles in locations both expected and unrelated, and an overwhelming sleepiness.
(And on some occasions 'reverse peristalsis' occurs continuing after the contents of the stomach are long gone resulting in 'non-productive emesis'......not today thank goodness)

Annnnnd, I'm off to the races again.......great....
Later......................Dave

Okay back again and I'm full of my morning meds, which have side effects that should have the desired result of slowing and stopping the gastric motility, easing the cramps and relieving the pain & burning sensations, while at the same time causing the sphincter muscle to slam shut and lock up tighter than the blast doors at NORAD during a nuclear attack.

I have no plans for today so I'm going to try to get some sleep until the shed heats up too much. At some point before 9:00 pm. tonight I will be heading to Jenn's, I am spending the night in the recliner and watching the kids in the morning because Jenn is going with Tom to the eye doctor because he needs more tests relating to glaucoma and diabetes. And after Friday's fiasco she doesn't want him going alone and trying to drive home too soon if he has the dilating eye drops administered again.
Anyway......gotta 'run' again......thinking/hoping that this will be the last trip!

"(Willing) 'Suspension Of Disbelief'......................And...................Turtles!................"

Good Morning;
So it's been a long day. Rachel met me at the Giant, in the candy aisle...lol, we got some goodies for the movie at a price less than the National Debt, and then the 'ex' dropped us off at the movies. We saw "Judy Moody's Not Bummer Summer", and ignore any reviewer or critic older than 16 if they 'dis' the film. It was very cute and a whole lot of fun! It is SUPPOSED be a stretch of the imagination and rather thin on provable facts and strict consistency! It's a kid's movie!
It was a hoot!

Afterwards we took the bus to the Metro subway to the Light Rail to Mt. Washington where we got fresh rolls and fresh sliced RARE!! roast beast at the Whole Foods, (and wandered around the store sampling everything we could from Gazpacho & peach soup, both chilled, to cherries, to freshly made multi fruit and veggie juice combos and other goodies. We played on the computer interspersed with walks along the Jones Falls to look at fish and huge water turtles and throwing rocks in the water. She got picked up about 7:30 pm. and I sat and rested and read until close. I got off the bus by the library and read and ate a late dinner there then hit the Giant for some milk....then the gas station for some bathroom................lol.
I'm tired and going to sleep now,
Later..............................Dave

Saturday, June 18, 2011

"Third Eye Blind....(Plus 3).....................Movies And Munchies............................."

Good Morning;
Well last night was a night of wacked out dreams, everything from zombies to really good old fashioned kinky erotica. Luckily no erotica with zombies....I do have my limits.....lol!

This morning it was up and out early to Jenn's to babysit the grand monsters, (I was supposed to stop there last night on the way back from the Starbucks but when I got there the upstairs idiot neighbor had the stereo and sound surround blasting and vibrating the walls so bad I just dumped one of my bags off and caught the next bus up to the shed.), while Jenn and Tom went to the eye doctors. They BOTH ended up getting the drops in the eyes to dilate the hell out, neither knowing the other was also getting dilated, so I had plenty of time to wash clothes and cook lunch and shower and doze off in the recliner while the kids played around, (and on and over...ow....ow...ow....lol), me. They all went up to Monkton to Tom's mom's house so I just hung out in the A/C and dozed in and out to the cable...(which also was going in and out this afternoon, as was the electricity). I left to catch the bus before the got home, about 8:15 pm. and got off at the library and read for a while before going to the gas station to use the bathroom and then coming in here.

I'm going to get some sleep now because Rachel and her mother are picking me up tomorrow morning and dropping her and I off at Owings Mills 17 movie theatres next to the mall. We are going to see "Judy Moody's Not Bummer Summer"........I tried to steer her towards "Mr. Popper's Penguins", but no luck........lol. We'll probably take the trains and buses to the coffee shop afterwards and play it by ear from there. This is our Father's Day outing because she is going to the pool on Sunday.

I have to express my extreme gratitude to Stewart, a friend from Starbucks who asked if I had money to take Rachel out this weekend and then slipped me a couple $20.00s on Thursday.
So that was laundry money and a beer; and movie, buspasses , and lunch for Rachel and I.

Later.................................................................Dave

Thursday, June 16, 2011

"Nocturnal Emissions................AKA ................... Muse Tracks........................"

Good Morning;
It's 4:00 am. and the moon is full and the night is warm and it's too nice too sleep.
I just got back into the shed after wandering the city by bus and foot, just looking at all the activity and watching people.


Pimps and players
lovers and losers
drunks, dreamers, and druggies,
The homeless and the homeward bound.
Junkies looking for a score,
johns looking for a whore.
The city is alive and awake
while most people are asleep.
Cops, criminals, construction workers,
garbage men and go-go girls,
bouncers and bakers.
On patrol or on the prowl,
waking up or winding down,
meeting and mingling
at the all night diners,
oil and water,
alcohol and gasoline,
donuts and dime bags.
Each with a rhythm and beat.

Street symphonies sound-off...
Trucks and trains,
pumps and planes,
motors and machinery,
merging and melding,
Gunshots and gospel,
sirens and salsa,
reggae, rap, and rock,
blare from automobiles.
Angry screams and whispered dreams,
a baby's cries and a mother's sighs,
a lover's moans and a dying man's groans,
escape from open windows
to echo down the avenues and alleyways.

Combining, reverberating, remixing,
weaving a complex rhythm,
turning a cacophony
of harmony and harmonic,
man and machine,
into the heartbeat,
the pulse,
of the unsleeping city.

Ennnhhhh,
oh well, it's 6 o'freakin' clock, and this took more time
and went in a different direction than the original burst of creative
energy and enthusiasm seemed to be pointing.
Maybe I'll get around to editing it one day......lol.

Later.................................Dave

And again....WTF is up with this laptop and the damn text colors!
And the fonts too?
The green and Lucinda Grand are actually what I selected on my 'Edit Posts' window menu, which 9 times out of 10, prints on the actual blog page in the purple, or whatever is chosen, from the Template page.....too weird....and inconsistent, as can be seen from the mix in this post.
Again...????WTF?????...............LOL!