Saturday, June 30, 2012

"Heatstroke Harangue.........OR........Countdown To Meltdown..............."

Good Afternoon; to Timmonium Light Rail about 4:30 pm. and Tom picked me up about 15 minutes later and brought me back here to Jenn's. As soon as it was free I jumped in the shower to not only wash fully for the first time in a week, but to lower my core temperature, it was a beast out there!

Watched the grandkids, ate, did laundry, passed out from exhaustion.
Then I woke up 3 hours later at 2:00 am. and ha a piss poor night trying to get back to sleep.

I thought I could stay through the worst of the heat wave, maybe until Monday evening....but it ain't gonna happen. The only reason I did not leave when Jenn took the kids to Westminster to her mother's at 3:00 that she oes not have enough gas, so Tom is taking me to the train when he gets back from his DJ gig, sometime later this afternoon/early this evening. Of course with my luck, it will be in the middle of the thunderstorms forecast for then.

Tomorrow is supposed to be the worst day, and tonight and tomorrow night the shed will be useless because of the heat.....I'm not a Happy Camper!

It's going to be a shitty Independence Day week!

Anybody with A/C who wants to have a houseguest for a couple nights please contact me, I'm even open to just spending sleeping hours there, days I can find a place to be.

Anyway, want to eat an grab another quick shower and pack now...


Friday, June 29, 2012

"Theatre Of The Absurd........M.I.A. Meds........Heat Stroke Express.........Rag Bag ..........& Pledge Drive.................Et al........"

Good Morning;

Well...and yet another sleepless night behind the library. At least I got to listen to some free entertainment as what I think was the same local part-time homeless drunk crackhead golf caddy got into arguments/screaming matches with what appeared to be 2 and possibly 3 different people just across Reisterstown Rd.but screened by some evergreen trees, or just out of sight between the buildings.
One of the combatants was a woman and their debate content was typical alcohol fueled, slurred, white trash recriminations of escalating viciousness and crudity as each tried to counter then top the other's accusations of and 'caught in the act' descriptions of various incidences of cheating, lying and stealing.
When "Mary" left the stage, either stumbling away or passing out behind a dumpster, the 20-something junkie Russian kid I mentioned a week or so ago, who just got out of jail, must have been passing by. They had been staying at the house, (with no electricity) of Bruce, a local version of the 'town drunk' about this time last year and the junkie stole the caddy's
 BlackBerry and sold it for dope. I knew this because at different times on the bus the junkie boasted about it and the drunkie ranted about it. And tonight the phrase "YOU STOLE MY F*CKIN' BLACKBERRY" was repeated 35 times or so at full volume. After this extended exchange of deep philosophical ideas wound down everything was silent for a while then a bout of yelling muted by distance or architecture carried over between passing cars and I thought I heard broken English and both good and bad Spanish.
Things got so heated a couple times and must have ended up in the street or teetering on the curb, because car horns and squealing brakes sounded.
I was ready to slip around the corner to the payphone and call 911 anonymously a few times, but things have been quiet for the past hour an a half.

I'm surprised Barry is not sleeping on the sidewalk around the corner tonight, he's been there most night's in the past couple weeks. I wish I could find a safe and secure place "under the stars" to camp out that is near here on nights when the shed is in "sauna or steam bath mode", it's been 3 nights since I slept more than 30 minutes straight, and I'm exhausted....but...:(

Unless I can find a few bupes in the morning, or a substitute that qualifies, I'm not going to Jenn's tomorrow, because there is no way I am going to deal with the kids, the heat, and the m-i-l while worrying about and dealing with my bodies entering into withdrawal symptoms!
I am not a happy camper tonight!

So....after getting out of the shed by 8:30 am because of the heat, hitting the Giant to make up the last of my coffee and try to take the best 'whore's bath' I could in a public restroom, that was not a single person type, and without a locking door, I went and, by coincidence.
I heated up the cell phone trying to find SOMEONE who knew somone wi.t with access to bupes, with zero results.

{Monkee may have something that will be acceptable, I'm to call her early....which will be no problem....not going into a coma on the train/bus own there may}

After the Sun devoured all the shade I went inside the library for a couple hours, then I took the bus to the subway to Cultural Center stop and went to the City Paper offices to see Evan.
He told me that all the feedback on the column had been overwhelming positive, and broached the idea of running it every 2 weeks! 
What a hoot!
He gave me a $20.00 until I can get the payroll info all set up, as they pay by check only. $5.00 of that was for bus fare and some fruit juices, and the rest is for Monkee.....I hope!

After that I got back on the Metro went to the Cold Spring La.and took the bus to JAI to see about my prescriptions being refilled. I did not get to see my doctor, other than a wave through the glass partition...(it's a 'hood clinic, with armed guard in the waiting room), but the receptionist grabbed her between patients in my sight an pointed to me and she, the Doc, was supposed to call in to the RiteAid directly for me.
I'll find out in the morning, or in a few hours I should say...
I get to go back there on Thursday at 4:00 pm. for the scheduled appointment next week on the 5th of July, and I'll bring up all the lovely issues mentioned previously....oh lucky me.

After that I took the bus to the Light Rail to Mt. Washington to the Starbucks, then the Light Rail to Cultural Center, again, to the Metro to Old Court station and the bus to here.
And most of this multi-vehicle, multiple-mode, mass-transit odyssey was during the heat of the day and required a fair bit of walking carrying my rapidly deteriorating sport type bag with the laptop, TV, cords and chargers, changes of clothes, meds, toiletries, paperwork...etc.
(Everything is falling apart or wearing out right now, bag, shoes, shorts, jeans, tee shirts,.....I need everything BUT socks an underwear! )                                              
(anyone with an unused ballistic nylon sports/military style medium large-large size shoulder bag, the type with 3 or 4 zippered pouches on the outside that's not too beat up and taking up space who wants to donate it, I'd be grateful.)

And as all the "Loyal Readers" know I rarely if ever, straight up, outright, petition for money on this blog, oh I make my financial situation known alright, but I don't usually make a plea for cash unless it is in a semi-serious,  or ironic, or humorous way, not really expecting a response.....

(Except when it came to wanting to do or needing something for Rachel!)
(Then I asked for real, and some of you graciously helped out...thank you)
Wellllll, it's looking like a long, hard, hot, flat f*cking broke summer, and I'm asking and accepting anything anyone may have the urge or desire to give!
That's it, more,...& if you feel so inclined as to throw something my way,
send me an e-mail, and we'll work it out, just put "HomeLessCide" in the subject box unless we've already been in touch, because if not, you'll end up in  my junk mail folder...unopened.

I'm too tired to type anymore,

Thursday, June 28, 2012

"Meteorology, Medical, Money, & Markouts................"

Good Morning;

Well another night/morning behind the library with the portable TV and the laptop.
It's 71 degrees now an quite comfortable, but...

Excessive Heat Watch from Fri, 11am until Fri, 9pm..EDT

5 Day Forecast

Updated: Jun 27, 2012, 11:08pm EDT

TodayJun 28

WSW at 12 mph

FriJun 29

Partly Cloudy
Partly Cloudy
WNW at 12 mph

SatJun 30

Partly Cloudy
Partly Cloudy
WSW at 7 mph

SunJul 1

Mostly Sunny
Mostly Sunny
WNW at 8 mph

MonJul 2

Partly Cloudy
Partly Cloudy
WNW at 6 mph

Heat Index values of 110 degrees are forecast, but...
Because heat index values were devised for shady, light wind conditions, exposure to full sunshine can increase heat index values by up to 15 degrees!

The Heat Index Chart
The Heat Index is a function of temperature and relative humidity. The combination of the two results in an apparent temperature which gives an idea of what it would feel like under normal-to-low humidity conditions.
The heat index also applies to shady, light wind conditions, so it feels even hotter than the heat index if a person is in direct sun. In the midst of a hot, dry, wind a person would also feel hotter than the heat index value due to the wind effects.
Excessive and dangerous heat indices occur mostly during the summer months with the abundance of moisture and increased heat.

Apparent Temperature Readings
  • Caution -- 85 to 94°F -- physical activity may cause fatigue
  • Extreme Caution -- 95 to 105°F -- possible heat cramps and/or heat exhaustion with prolonged exposure
  • Danger -- Above 105°F -- possible heat stroke with prolonged exposure; heat exhaustion and heat cramps likely


  • I was just reminded by a text from Jenn that she had asked me to watch the grand-monsters Friday night so she can speak at a meeting.
    That helps....I'll head up there sometime that afternoon and spend the night and try to weasel, I mean wheedle my way into Saturday and Sunday nights.
    It's the nights that are the worst, as you well know from my frequent comparisons of the shed to a sauna..... :)

    Anyway....tomorrow I HAVE! to get to the doctor's office and get prescription refills,  get blood and urine samples taken to find out WTF is going on with the liver and gallbladder that has me looking like frickin' Big Bird.
    Plus I want to find out why I keep experiencing seasickness like symptoms.......on dry land while not moving! Ended up lightheaded, dizzy, and nauseated as I was walking into the Giant last night to use the bathroom and fill my water bottle. Went into the restroom and began to gag, then puked, with nearly nothing to evacuate.
    But afterwards, except for the fact that it felt and tasted like an army had marched through my mouth.......I felt a good deal better.
    I just want to get this done before the Medical Assistance vanishes in a puff of smoke!
    I also need to find $20.00 ASAP to get enough 'bupes' to carry me through the weekend until the 2nd. and for bus fare.
    I want to try to find enough ($16.50) for a monthly pass before they go off sale.
    And I need to find a mailing address in Baltimore City as soon as possible too, Evan at the City Paper said they just need any address just for the files an end of year W-2 forms, so I'll ask Jenn about that.

    I'm still tickled to see my name in the paper, without a mug shot beside!
    Everybody at the coffee shop thought it was pretty cool too.
    I have been living on marked out bagels from the other day, some Dunkin' Dumpster doughnuts, and a jar of peanut butter I liberated from Jenn's, (she had 5 stashed away, one of which was about the size of a 55 gallon oil!), the fresh cherries, grapes and pineapples put out to be sampled at Whole Foods, and today a couple of rescued breakfast sandwiches and pastries intercepted before reaching the trash can, and KoolAid Lemonade mix.
    Ummmm healthy.....
    It's cool enough to go and lay down now, and it's 2:30 am.
    so.....first the gas station, then the shed....


    Wednesday, June 27, 2012

    "Hanging Paper........Or..........Back To The Mother Medium..................."

    Good Afternoon;
     Well I picked up the latest copy of the Baltimore City Paper today,
     (June 27-July 4), and was pleasantly surprised to find that on page 5 I was
    the author of a column called, (what "HOMELESSCIDE"...(let's be truthful, I'm freakin'!).
    The surprise was that it was appearing so soon, I had some back and forth with Evan, the editor, last week, with the last contact on Monday of this week. I was expecting 2 more weeks, maybe next week at the earliest, so this is really cool.

    It was extremely hard trying to write to fit a 500 word or so limit. As you know loyal reader the blog is basically stream of consciousness with much tangential 'scenic drive' detours. I eventually gave him about 1,200 words on the first night homeless with a quick rundown of most of the different places I've stayed in the intervening years, and my blessings on him to blue pencil it as he thought fit, trying to keep my 'voice' intact.
    I'm really pleased with how it turned out and now that I have a 'visual' on what he's looking for, in way of 'brevity' vs. detail, I think it will be easier.
    I think it is going into a 3-4 week rotation with other current columns.
    Here is a link for you to use to form your own opinion:

    And the wild thing is.....I'm getting paid to o this!!
    Whooo-hoo....THAT'S A FIRST!
    From poems in free publications, to a self published book of poetry, to the blog, (and the 2 magazine articles and the TV story on it and me in 2010), to an actual PAID column....who'd a thunk it?


    Tuesday, June 26, 2012

    "Hot And Cold Running Sleepy Time W(h)ine......................"

    Good Evening;

    Well the weather has me in a much better mood. Although I HATE the cold with a burning (freezing? passion, in some respects it is better than this freakin' record setting heat and humidity the past couple of summers.

    For one thing, once I am able to get in the shed, in the sleeping bag and warmed up, I can pretty much stay there until bodily functions give me an ultimatum. Hours....days if needs be, with quick runs to the 'collection bottle', or the Giant or gas station if it's the 'other' end.
    When it's hot as hell I can't even get in and lay own if I am exhausted without dealing with sauna or steam bath like heat when the temperatures hit 85 degrees or better, and the morning sun can heat up the interior by 7:00 am. on those "gonna break 90 degrees days". When I have a fan, and I'm down to the 'D-cell' eating battery powered one now that there is no electricity in the adjacent office bldg., I can at least get some air moving across the sweat to convince me I'm getting cooled off.

    The hot nights I have not been at Jenn's this summer have been spent either in front of or behind the library, reading or watching TV on the portable, some times until 3:00 am. when I HAVE to lay down, for purely physical reasons, sleepy or not, sauna or not. I just can't feel safe out in the open like Barry who sleeps by the payphone under the slight over hag on the side of the library or the 'angry dude' who sleeps on the bench by Reisterstown Rd.

    Oh damn.....closing time already?!


    Sunday, June 24, 2012

    "Praying I Wake Up And Find I'm In A Snickers Commercial With Joe Pescii....................."

    Good Morning;

    Well it's Saturday night and I've been here at Jenn's since Wednesday afternoon. Her surgery went well and the item removed from her breast is at pathology for precise identification, but initial results are that it is NOT cancerous, or malignant in any way, for which we are all extremely grateful.

    I am writing this now at 2:16 pm. at the Mt. Washington Starbucks, I tried to finish this and post it last night/this morning around 1:00 am. but the damn keyboard was f*cking up so bad that the 'e' key once hit could not be stopped for 3 or 4 LINES of print. I calmly and rationally started ranting and screaming at the laptop while beating on the keyboard like a red headed stepchild, (LTFU all you PCers, it's a freakin' joke), and finally was able to get the computer to turn off.

    This is entirely in keeping with my mood, external extenuating circumstances, mental, emotional, & physical well being, not being able to get more than 2-3 hours sleep out of every 24 for the past 2 weeks, and the multi-level and cross generational tensions that are going on up here, some of which flared up into verbal warfare before leaving the house this morning, (I was only on the sidelines, not a participant an kept my mouth shut, but was still the victim of collateral damage). The grandkids added their motion sickness derived (Devin, that is, Ed's was..let's call it...sympathetically detonated) vomit votes just before Tom dropped me off at the Hunt Valley Light Rail.

    So it was not the best visit this time. One good thing was that Tom drove to Monkees and I was able to pick up the Rubbermaid storage tub, 4 small boxes, and two briefcases that make up everything I own, except the few things I carry around and the bedding and couple items of clothing I leave in the shed. Which is pretty damn depressing in and of itself, and added to that, she was out of 'bupes' so I am about to run out of ANOTHER one of my meds tonight. One of my prescriptions is still out of sync with the rest so I used the last of that one this morning. The others all will be used up with no refills before the next scheduled doctor's visit in July, which means I need to walk in next week and sit and wait and hope to be seen.

    Between the heat last week, the insomnia, being on the downslope of a particularly nasty depressive episode, the D.S.S problems, worry and concern for a friend who was in a severe accident, (To--'Anonymous'..Thanks for your Comment, sorry about the delay, but I just noticed it was pending approval and publication, I sent I &'I an e-mail on the 15th and they replied on the 17th, thanks for your concern and consideration), and all the familial tensions, I REALLY feel like I'm about to lose it. The lack of funds and the Foodstamps has never affected me this badly before, and the increasingly frequent lengthening episodes of pain and other symptoms relating to the deterioration of the gallbladder and liver have me worried sick that when push comes to shove an the surgeon determines that it's time to remove the gallbladder....the Medical Assistance will be f*cked up also.
    Past experience, not groundless paranoia.

    Trying to look for work and finding none, while at the same time the physical/mental issues that have been the reasons that I can't do what I used to be able to do keep getting worse is like riding a merry go round from Hell......not only speeding faster and faster as it tries to fling you off to your death or's a constant downward spiral.

    Anyway...enough of that for now, I have a small care package that will feed me today, and if it keeps in the heat, tomorrow, o I'm going to eat a very late breakfast an see if that helps some.


    Wednesday, June 20, 2012

    SIN-atra: Hard Rock/Heavy Metal Tribute to Frank Sinatra on JamBase

    Good Afternoon;
    Just rockin' the hell out of the Summer Solstice;
    SIN-atra: Hard Rock/Heavy Metal Tribute to Frank Sinatra on JamBase
    Picked up this CD at the library on a whim.....
    Sinatra purists everywhere are jumping off!


    "Night Writer Notes...................."

    Good Morning;'s 1:30 in the morning and the shed is still near 90 degrees and in the 20 seconds it took me to go inside and grab the 50 ft. extension cord and lock it back up, my shirt was soaked. I've been sitting at the picnic table behind the library watching TV and futzing around on the laptop. I stopped by the Dunkin' Dumpster on the way and grabbed a couple of donuts and bagel twists before they got all "sweaty" and nasty. Along with a couple sandwiches that someone saved from being disposed of after being marked out, that's food for tomorrow. With nothing coming until August at least in the way of TDAP or Foodstamps, it looks to be a long summer.
    Tomorrow evening Tom's going to be picking me up and taking me out to Jenn's to take care of the grandmonsters after her surgery and to let her get some 'down time' on Thursday.....which is good for me too because it is supposed to be in the high 90s to 100+ degrees, with heat indices (indexes?) between 105 and 112 degrees. It's only mid June, dammit, the first day of summer. Well it will be good if the m-i-l doesn't flake out and turn off the A/C crying about, "it's too cold, and wasting electricity", don't laugh, she's turned it off in the middle of the night and the basement, with no other air circulation, reached 85 degrees in the living room, the kid's rooms were higher.
    EEOkay th keyboard is going creeeeazy again
    more tomorrow

    Tuesday, June 19, 2012

    "Idle Speed..........."

    Good Evening;
    Well.....Sunday was non-eventful, Coffee shop then watched TV out behind the library until after Midnight. I also wrote and e-mailed that short piece of writing to my editor friend for critique...I feel it started well, but lost the flow half way through, and I just couldn't get it back. We'll see...

    Monday I spent the afternoon and evening at Rachel's (her mom's), just hanging out. We had dinner and took a walk and read books, a nice low key day.

    Today I was up and out early because the shed was heating up.
    The MTA was messed up and I spent 2 hours getting here to Starbucks.
    Another nothing to talk about day.
    Or at least nothing I WANT to talk about yet.......things are pretty f*cked up to tell you the truth.
    Too much to deal with's closing time, more from Jenn's tomorrow night. I'm going up there to watch the kids while she recuperates from another surgery.


    Saturday, June 16, 2012

    "Come Fly With Me............................."

    Good Evening;

    Well....I'm packing up here at the coffee shop so I can catch the buses back to the shed. After Jenn and Tom and the kids dropped me off at the light rail on their way to the family picnic, (HER mother's side), I went over to Monkee's and got another week's worth of meds. She told me I need to move my stuff stored in her basement out ASAP, as she is having some major work done. Great, now I not only have to find a mailing address to use, I need to find storage space too!

    I saw the Blue Angels today while they were performing over the Harbor as part of the "Sailebration" festivities here commemorating the War of 1812.They flew right over my head in a 180 degree turn, banked to 90 degrees s they headed back downtown. It was freakin' awesome! It seemed as if I could reach up and touch them!

    Closing time...gotta go....


    "Out Of The Woods..............."

    Good Morning;
     So...Jenn, Tom & the grandmonsters are home from Dover, Del. where they were visiting my mother. It's back own to Baltimore tomorrow around Noon. Another one night visit that turned into a week.
    I think I'll be back here sometime next week when Jenn goes in for surgery, but not sure of the details yet.

    I've got to put together a piece of writing, about 500 words or so, as a sort of 'test specimen' or sample for a friend who just took over the reins of a local weekly paper. A sort of observation & commentary type thing similar to the better quality posts that sometime grace your screen here at our little blog. If it's what they're looking for...(cross fingers, rub rabbit's foot, knock wood or perform other appropriate good luck superstition could be paid for it too....sshhhh, not too loud, don't wanna jinx it)!

    I'm going to go and wash a last load of clothes and shower now, to help avoid gridlock here in the morning at the 'bathroom bottleneck'.


    Thursday, June 14, 2012

    All For A ‘Good Story.’

    Good Evening;
    I've just found out that my good friends Inette & 'Iokepa were in a bad automobile accident in California, near Crescent City, while on their way to Portland, Oregon to take a break from their cross country book tour marathon promoting Inette's latest book;
    "Grandmothers Whisper",
    He is unhurt, 
    physically, while she is/was hospitalized with broken ribs, bruised lung, concussion, and memory loss.
    My thoughts  and prayers go out to them, and I know that they would also welcome the same from some of you 'loyal readers' who have met and spoken with or heard them speak.

     The 2 links below are to their website 'Huliau-Return Voyage', (the 'Ever Changing Page' section), and a newspaper story about them and the accident.

    All For A ‘Good Story.’

    Having been in the same situation myself, from the physical pain to the selective amnesia, I can empathize with her and share the confusion and mixed feelings of gratitude and 'why me?' that will linger after the bodily pain is long gone.

    This also has caused me to stop and take a moment to reflect on my life and look at it from a different perspective....a lot to think about, and perhaps actions to take.

    Gotta run now......

    "Give 'Til It Hurts........And Help Someone Who Is Really Hurting!............"

    Good Morning;

    So...just got this in an e-mail;
    How YOU can help 'Healthcare for the Homeless' get an extra $15,000.00
    Baltimore Rallies to End Homelessness! 
    On Thursday, June 14, Healthcare for the Homeless is a participant in Twive & Receive, a 24-hour online giving competition. With Baltimore's help, Healthcare for the Homeless can win an extra $15,000 to support families without homes.
    Want to help? Here’s what you can do:
    • Donate on Thursday at (But be sure to make it count for June 14. Use the “Schedule one for Twive and Receive 2012” link under Make Your Donation if you're making a donation before 3 AM Eastern on June 14.)
    • Join us at Dangerously Delicious Pies in Canton on June 14 from 5:30-7:30 pm to celebrate Twive and Receive, learn about Healthcare for the Homeless, and listen to Street Voices, a singing group made up of staff from Healthcare for the Homeless.
    • Tell your friends - tweet (#twivebmore), post on Facebook, and forward this email.
    With everyone's help, Healthcare for the Homeless can win. Whatever you choose to do – thank you! It will make a difference. what you can, please?...............Thanx!

    I'm up here in Monkton at Jenn's house, (actually her husband's mom's...they have a basement apartment here), caring for the cats and the dog while they are in Dover, Del. visiting my mother, (we are estranged, that's why I'm not with them), because the m-i-l can't be relied on to not forget to feed them, or remember that she let the dog out to pee, (one time returned by neighbor when found 4 miles away), the unspoken fact is I'm also here to prevent an "I've fallen and I can't get up" situation too.

    I'll be back in Baltimore on Saturday afternoon, which is when I need to get more meds also.

    At least I have not had to worry about food for most of the past 2 weeks, which is a good thing because I am totally without financial resources right now.
    Next week, (before Jenn goes in for surgery on Wednesday, and I'm back here riding herd on the grandmonsters for ???? at least a couple days as she recuperates.

    AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! This stupid E ky is mssing up again, an th D is not much bttr!


    Tuesday, June 12, 2012

    "Another Extended Visit To....East Bumfu---......Errrr,.....Monkton............"

    Good Afternoon;

    Well...Saturday night back in the shed, Sunday afternoon in Mt. Washington, and then the train to Timonium where Tom & Ed picked me up and we went back up to Monkton and Jenn's house to watch the grandkids.
    Sunday & Monday day and night here on the recliner, and tonight is still up in the air. Missed being on the road or in the shed during the  thunderstorms, which is a good thing....but the humidity and the low pressure have been no fun.
    Everyone here is either in physical pain, sick, in a crappy mood.....or a combination of the above.
    Jenn has a migraine, (I have had one in my life an never want to experience another ever again......she is frequently immobilized by them), the kids are bratty, Tom.....well, Tom is --- "Tom", and I'm trying to find a way to deal with the ache in my joints and the neuropathy in my left side without using up my limited supply of bupes. Tempers are short, to say the least.

    Oookay.....was just asked if I could stay here and watch the animals, (5 cats and a dog), while Jenn and family (NOT the m-i-l!!!) go to Dover, Delaware to visit my mother, from Wednesday to late Friday, so I'd be here 'til Saturday morning....Hmmmmm?

    Oh, WTF!, why not!?

     off the street,
    satellite TV
    place to cook the above

    no way to leave other than a 10 mile walk
    satellite TV, (as in - 'NOT cable'
    no reserve on meds, exact to the last dose
    won't gt to SSA or DSS 'til next week
    (but won't really make a difference, 
    not going to be corrected 'til July, if I'm lucky)
    So....guess I may as well stay.

    This keyboard is pissing me off with the damn


    Saturday, June 9, 2012

    "A Visit From Faerie & A Real Life 'Escape From Witch Mountain' !!!............"

    Good Afternoon;

    Well....the "$20.00 Dollar Bill Fairy" graced me with his?/her?/it's presence last night, which enabled me to get meds for the next 8 days.

    I was in the Giant on the way back from the restroom and about to hit the shed when a woman, your stereotypical 'little old lady' asked me if I would help her by reaching the milk on the top shelf in the cooler. I grabbed that and asked her if there was anything else high up she needed while I was there. I ended up wandering the store with her and helping her and listening to her as she told me stories of hiding from the Nazis, then being betrayed by the people she trusted for money, [and then watching the Germans execute them for hiding her and throwing the money on the bodies....(which she saw was still there days later when she was being taken away in a truck to the concentration one in the neighborhood would go near it)...].
    She told me how she escaped from the train carrying her to Poland and an extermination camp, spent 6 months getting to the Baltic sea and stowing away on a boat to Sweden*, eventually reaching the U.S. via Ireland*, Spain*, Portugal*, and Canada. {Nominally Neutral Countries}
    It was an enlightening say the least!,
    And an incredible and moving story.
    (More so when one stops to consider that R-D.,
    [she asked that I only use her first name(s)...], 
    was barely a teenager at the time.)
    It's a shame she is only here visiting her daughter and leaving soon, she had me in stitches at times, and talk about raunchy!.....I blushed and she cracked up. It was more fun than the last date I went on!
    (In the dark and distant past.....and the sex was better!)
    {Okay...that was a joke, obviously we did not have sex, which was STILL better than the sex I DID have on that long ago date.......LOL!! }

    I ended up walking her to her car and stowing the groceries for her and walked back into the Giant to get my bags and fill my water bottle. When I reached to pull my bags out from where I stash them while in the store I see a folded piece of paper in the food bag, and when I open it up.....a Twenty falls out!
    I know the woman I was with id not put it there, because we did not go by that area, and none of the employees working the front of the store neither saw anyone by the bags, nor admitted to placing it there themselves.
    I didn't press the matter, because I was tickled as hell to get money for meds, and if the person wishes to be anonymous.....well,
    THAT was one of the original reasons I started this blog, to thank the faceless and anonymous folks who wish their generosity to be low key and without the hoopla and fanfare some people need to feed their egos if they give anything to anyone.


    Friday, June 8, 2012

    "Cash Crisis................."

    Good Evening;
    So...I'm back here in Mt. Washington packing up to head over to the bus and "home" to Pikesville and the shed. We stopped at the Giant in Hunt Valley on the way to the train and Jenn and the grandmonsters and I cruised through the store and put together a care package of bread, Pop Tarts, Pringles, some half off single serve vacuum packs of lunch meat, (which I was able to put in the 'fridge at the coffee shop thanks to Kinsey), a box off the day old bakery shelf with various pastries, and a few other items.

     I earned it this visit, dealing with 3 different litter boxes and washing some clothes and towels for Jenn, and also ending up with a case of the sh*ts after touching something in the m-i-l's side of the 'fridge.....!

    I need to find $100.00 by Sunday and it looks like I'm hitting the corner again with my sign, I've exhausted every other possibility at the moment other than criminal means,
    .....(and if I ever go back down that dark and deadly street again,
    it's gonna be "go big or go home"! no nickel and diming!).......
    and I need to get meds or get ill, and deal with last months debt.

    Closing time, gotta run,


    "Francium, Fr-87, The Most Unstable Element, (With A Half Life of 22 Minutes)........HA!......Got That Beat!...................."

    Good Morning;
    Well, my last little holdout of hope was crushed yesterday morning when I called the benefits hotline for my Independence card and the Foodstamps balance remained $0.00.
    I need to find $100.00 to pay off last month's debt to gain credit for this month's Saturday, or I'm royally screwed.

    Still in Monkton, but I should be leaving sometime later today (Friday).
    I should be able to assemble a small care package of non-perishables, (85 to 90 degree temps over the weekend...(not as badly hated as extreme cold, but not far from the mark)...from Jenn from some things here and if we stop at the Giant on the way to the Light Rail.

    My biggest concern is that I will be out of 'bupes' on Saturday, with my credit at it's limit, or close enough so that I may only be able to end up with a day or two's grace. My back has been so messed up in recent weeks that I am as worried/scared/fearful of not being able to function due to pain as much as the bodily dependency issue. I have been slipping bit by bit, deeper and deeper into the fog of depression the past month, above and beyond, (or should that be 'below and behind'), the usual parameters.

    Right now, exhaustion plus insomnia makes for a volatile situation, add in the physical pain and the depression and the ideations start bouncing around in my mind, aligning in that same old vicious cycle, hopelessness chasing worthlessness,....faster and faster until they spontaneously combust into the self consuming flame of action.............just to get some freakin' peace and quiet! 
    Ummm...yes, sleep would probably be a real good idea right now......dontcha know?


    Wednesday, June 6, 2012

    "Situation Normal All F*cked Up*......................"

    Good Evening;

    Well, still in Monkton, never left yesterday, basic 'SNAFU'* situation.
    Jenn's doctor put her on a medication that knocks her out or makes her loopy and the van of the guy who Tom went to Philly to do a job with, threw a Philly. So his buddy towed them back to Baltimore...of course he had to drive to Philly from Baltimore to hook them up and tow them, which made for a 20 hour day all told.

    MY day seemed muchhhhhhh longer!
    The grandmonsters were in rare form, and I couldn't find the duct tape.

    Anyway.....nothing else really to say...........


    Monday, June 4, 2012

    "Just Checking In................"

    Good Evening;
    Well this is the 2nd night at Jenn's watching the grandmonsters. Today was the funeral for Tom's uncle, somewhere
     in Pa., about an hour North of Harrisburg, I think. Tomorrow morning Jenn has to meet with the surgeon, because she is again going under the knife the end of June. The sonogram found something last week that needs to be removed.
    I'll be back in town Tuesday afternoon and back in the shed that night.

    Wednesday morning I have to go to D.S.S. to try to see wtf happened to my benefits this month, then Jenn is picking me up after Devin's speech therapy and I'll be back up here for monstersitting duty early Thursday am.

    I gotta go now, this damn keyboard and the freakin' runaway "eeee" issue is a pain in the ass and I'm not in the mood tonight for the bullshit!


    Saturday, June 2, 2012

    "Thunderstorms And Sh*tstorms................"

    Good Morning; about that rain last night? That storm front really dumped one hell of a lot of water on us up here in Monkton.

    Speaking of getting dumped on...(and I am not talking about water)... there has been some sort of screw up at D.S.S. and I did not get my little bit of T.D.A.P. cash, or Foodstamps for June, and I am not sure if the M.A. is on the same schedule or not, won't know until prescription refill time around the 23rd.

    No money, no food, no bus fare.....(and the laptop's 'EEEEEE' key is sticking so I have to either go back and add thm or eerasee thm!....aarrrrgghhhh!)'s gonna bee a long freakin' month.


    Friday, June 1, 2012

    "Friday Facts, Files, Funnies, Findings, & Filler............."

    Good Evening;
    Well......I've not posted since Monday through a combination of  either not really feeling like it, feeling like it but not having either wifi or power at the same time, or beginning a post and getting sidetracked by someone or the Internet, or running around like crazy trying to locate one of my meds and just not having time.

    I'm at Jenn's in Monkton monstersitting the grandkids tonight, (and last night), and just hoping that if one of the possible tornadoes forecast for the area does come through,.....being in the basement will help. I was out on the screen porch just before it got dark and just when I thought it could not possibly rain any came down in such volume and force that for a few minutes, due to the rain hitting the ground and bouncing back up 3 or 4 inches there was literally a 'carpet of water' over the back yard and the meadow that Tom had cut yesterday. It was really cool to watch.....and I'm glad it went away after the rate of fall slowed and the water was able to seep into the ground.

    I was scheduled to be leaving right in the middle of the tornado warnings, watches, and alerts, and the period of the heaviest rainfall as the largest storm cells passed over. I told Jenn what she'd be driving through.....annnnd I'll be leaving in the
    I'm glad I'm not in the shed, but I don't look forward to seeing the mess if as much rain hit Pikesville as did here.

    I spent Tuesday and Wednesday trying to find a couple 'bupes' to carry me through until Saturday when my refill is available, and had no luck at all. I was eventually able to get a substitute in a low enough dosage that it would both act on my back pain and stave off withdrawal symptoms without dragging me back into 'addiction' as opposed to a bodily 'dependence', it may sound the same but there is a major (and life threatening) difference.

    It has been a stressful week as regards the health (physical and mental) and well being of people I care about.
    Rachel's mother was back in the hospital for a week with complication's from the surgery he had this past winter. 
    Jenn had a sonogram today and needs more surgery on her breast to remove what, hopefully, is only a sebaceous cyst and more infection where she had the surgery last month.
    Tom's uncle died, and I'll be back here Sunday evening so I can watch the kids on Monday, the day of the funeral.
    Monkee tore ligaments in her knee somehow, and it took a week to get the tests needed to diagnose it.....(great healthcare plan, Hopkins!!)
    Monday night, only a minute after I left the Starbucks, (and I had went back in to grab a straw for Jenn who was giving me a lift back to the shed!), the two guys working that night were robbed at gunpoint by 2 masked gunmen who forced their way in.
    Even though it is not me directly being affected by these events, the 'collateral damage' has engulfed me to a certain extent.

    It was a rough week as far as food and money went, with a couple dumpster diving  expeditions into the depths of the "Dunkin' Dumpster" and some very creative sale/clearance/coupon combination shopping to stretch $7.38 a looooong way.

    That's  all I'm feeling like writing for now, so....