Friday, December 31, 2010

"The Return Of the Lost Libido & The Kiss Of The KENO Gods"........Plus Random Ramblings On The Last Day Of 2010............."

Good Afternoon;
So the post title sounds like a Nancy Drew Mystery double feature does it
Last night at the Starbucks I was talking to someone I see all the time and have taken no notice of (nor she of me) as anything other than "person I know and talk to/female" (and the, and things were as usual. But...the other day she had her hair down and it was the first time it had been that way and the physical change to her face was quite noticeable, as was her demeanor, which was due to some personal issues as I found out later, but the combination was striking and as I engaged her in conversation both our words and our body language subtly shifted. I did not realize until after she had left that, as I said to my self...."dude....yOu were hitting on her!?", (uh...yeah, sometimes when I have these 'internal conversations, one of me is 'dude', and it's true, subconsciously I had been reacting to the changes she was projecting, (again, I think, sub- or un-consciously). which is no big deal, except that I have been about as actively romantic/flirtatious as a three toed tree sloth, (& try saying that 10 times recently. Then this morning I awoke from a dream wondering why the sleeping bag seemed to be a bit snug.....then realized that I had it all bunched up in a hug at one part...and the other....welllll, you can figure it! I just wish I could remember the details of the dream....not just the 'who'!
P.C.......................Ha, Not Me!!
As I got off the bus last night I stopped in the gas station and had the intuition that I should take a chance and spend 1 of my last 2 dollars on a KENO. A really, really strong feeling. So I told myself I'd try $1.00 and stop if I lost.....well the last 3 numbers out of the 20 that are picked at random from 1 to 80 were my 3 numbers that I always play, 4-5-13, representing Rachel's birthday....."BINGO"!!, (or should I say..."KENO"!), $25.00 in my pocket! I tried one more time with the other $1.00 bill....lost and left.
So this morning I was able to go into the Giant and pay Mike the $10.00 I owed him, (before the end of the year), and get some things for this evening for NYE with the kids, and still have enough for bus money on the 1st and the 2nd of January when I will get my little bit of monthly cash.
I wish to emend my statement of thanks about boots from the other day;
...except for Uggs, the rubber farmers/firemans type, [on anyone older than 12, no matter how colorful or decorated they], and the stupid pointy toed 'wicked witch of the west' style that extend 6 inches beyond the end of the foot tapering to a point that a mosquito would be jealous of!

Something to think about.....I have been to a LOT of Doctors recently and have noticed a peculiar trend, those of a racial or ethnic mionority seem to be more patient, take more time with me, and actually listen. I am out of time so more musings on this next Year.

A Happy and Safe New Years Eve To All, and Best wishes for 2011!


P.S. 10 hours and 20 minutes left until 2011 and only about 30 hits needed! to make 10,000!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

"Xray Madness.............."

Good Afternoon;
So...I've been to get X-rays taken.....and in typical "Dave's World" fashion it was somewhere between a 'SNAFU' & a 'Clusterf*ck'!
When I got the referral from the 'skull cracker's' office I was given a list of Radiology centers to choose from, I asked whether I needed a referral from my PCP at JAI, or whether I had to go to JAI, and was told "NO", and the woman called to check on it. So this morning I went to American Radiology in Owings Mills because they have my records from the MRI and CT scans a few weeks back thinking it would make things easier because I am already in their computer system.
Well it first. Then I was called to the desk and told they needed a referral form from JAI, (the neurosurgeon wrote it as prescription order as sometimes is the case), and which center did I go to and who is my Doctor. Well I had that information and also the phone and fax numbers for them. Next I get called to the desk and told that I have to go to JAI to get the X-rays taken there, because they do their own. But at least I was able to get a printout of the previous exams and the radiologists report.
Okay.....back on the bus to Pikesville and transfer to the #54 down to Cold Spring & Park Heights, in the 'hood'. This corner is like Arlo Guthrie's 'Alice's Restaurant', where..."you can get anything you want.......excepting Alice", the only difference being, down here even Alice is available for the right price! Anyway I hand in the form and wait for 30 minutes and I'm called into the back to the X-ray and Blood Lab waiting area for 15 minutes then into the X-ray exam room. First standing and having shots of the Cervical spine area taken while relaxed and while under various degrees of 'flexation', or tension. (And I need to have the Neuro(tics) why when I bend my neck as far forward to me chest as I can....there is a pain in my low, low left back region?) Then it was on the table for Lumbar spine shots, again at rest and 'flexed'. The worst was on my left side curled into a fetal position, not only back pain but both the spleen and the gall bladder hurt.
A 5 minute wait for the films to be downloaded to disc, and I asked for a copy of my records for court on Jan.11th and found out that a copy had already been requested and sent to the Court, then back on the bus to Pikesville and another bus to here. All this on a delicious breakfast of Land 'O Lakes butterscotch cocoa and instant coffee made in the Giant with the really hot tap water, and 5 Chocoltae Covered Cherries (in the 'creme filling' not the liquid filling, but still yummy and half price from Xmas).
I'm heading over to Giant to see what 'real' food is on clearance or markdown and then over to the coffee shop in Mt. Washington.
Where last night I shared my table with a young woman named Julia and her Mom and Dad who had come up from Annapolis to look at a used car they may be buying. We had a nice chat and in the course of the conversation we talked about the blog and being homeless and her Dad handed me $5.00 as they were leaving,
(Thank You guys!, It came in handy as I have today and tomorrow morning to get through and this is food money.)
It is like summer time outside, at least 45 degrees and sunny! I had to take off my sweatshirt because when I left the shed it was cold inside, (it holds both heat AND cold), and by the time I had walked into the sunshine, I had 'locked' it up and did not want to go through the rigamarole of unlocking and taking off the vest and relocking....etc. Also I figured it will most likely a rapid temperature drop as the sun goes down, so I may as well keep the coat, etc. with me. The temperature is supposed to be 50 degrees and a possibility of rain on New Years Day, Saturday, which is okay with me, but the 'Winter Classic' Outdoor Hockey Game in Pittsburgh could be a 'wet mess'!...........LOL!
Times up here but before I sign off I want to offer a very grateful and heartfelt THANK YOU!! to the fashionista who decided that this years winter look is 'Boots and Tights'....Thank You, Thank You, Thank You...........(LMAO!!!!)

"Dem Bones.................."

Good Morning;
A quick stop to check my e-mail and I'm off to catch the 10:50 am. bus to Owings Mills to American Radiology for my x-ray session.
Then contact the Neurologist about my appointment there.
Thanks Frayda...a whole bunch of Facebook referrals from yesterday afternoon through this morning!
96 hits to go and 2 days left.....
As Bob the Builder says:
(and appropriated by Pres. Obama......)
"Can We Do It....Yes We Can"
(Hmmmm, "Politcal Campaign Theory By Nickeloden Jr.",
THAT explains a lot about American government.....LOL!)
Gotta run,

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


Good Afternoon....Again;
Well Rachel, and her mother and the 8 or 10 Orthodox (Jewish) teenage girls she is involved with in the homeschooling round robin, have just left, (and now the computer tells me I have 5 minutes left).
So....Rachel and I registered her Furreal Friends toy kitty and printed out it's adoption certificate and played on the website and picked out 7 books and read some others. I'm on my way out now too, I have to go to the Giant and get breakfast...a little late I know, and then to the Starbucks to eat it.

"On Those Days When You Feel...'Missable, Right!,...When You Can't Find Your Little Green Pill That Gets You 'High On Life'..Then Try Some 'Fukitol'."

Good Afternoon:
This is great! A true 'Wonder Drug' or 'Silver Bullet'!
Click on the link below:
The menu bar is real and the Stages and Symptoms and the 'Testimonials' are hilarious! some one went to a lot of work on this site.
The best part is all the ads and links for real products and websites,
but the topper is the link to the Scientology website.....LOL!
P.S. The 'Missable...right!' is from an old comedy satire of the same name by either George Carlin, Robin Williams, or Cheech and Chong...(Now you know where I get it from.....LOL!)...that I cannot remember....(CRS exacerbated by a lot of...'you know' use in my youth....LOL)....who did it.

"Library Interlude...............Part 1 = Rachel And Me!................"

Good Morning;
3 days left and 129 hits needed.....tell your friends....."10,000 by 00:01 am. 2011"
So the phone rings around 10 minutes of 9:00 am. this morning and it's Rachel asking me to come to the library around 10:00 am. because her mother is bringing the older girls and Rachel wants to come also. Well of course, I said, 'of course!' got up went to the Giant for my coffee and here I comes Rachel! I'll be back to finish this after she leaves, unless I get a ride to Owings mills and American Radiology for my X-rays from the 'ex'.
Just want to throw out a "Thank You" to Josh for the breakfast sandwiches the other night,...between, Jenn, Tom ,and myself they did not last long and there is no worries about spoilage beyond the expiration date on this batch!.....LOL!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

"Glow In The Dark Pin Cushion......................OR.........................Hell Yes It Hurts When You Stick Me There!!!!........................."

Good Afternoon;
Well the 'Skull Cracker', (aka has sent me to the Neurologists for more testing, nervous system and nerve tests, something called an EMG, I figure I'm either going to be filled full of pins like a VooDoo novices practice dummy, or strung up with electrodes and made to dance like Pinocchio when the juice is turned on.....LOL! I also have to go get some more X-rays, so it's a good thing I'm through with having kids, (planned ones, because with all the assorted radiation and magnetic fields I've been exposed to.... a 3 headed baby would be one of the better mutations......LMAO! These X-rays are supposed to be taken while flexing certain parts of the back, leg, and neck/shoulder I think. I wonder if it a stop motion type of thing or is there such a thing as 'video capture' X-rays? We'll know tomorrow, just look for me over in the corner at the Starbucks in the evening, I'll be the one with the built in reading lights....I'd much rather have a 'post activity' glow from some other type of exertion, but.....oh well, such is life in the slow lane.... ;-(
Anyway, after the walk along the 'Helen Back' trail to and from the doctor's office, (it's called that because it seems like I walked through that damn wind and cold all the way to 'Hell And Back'!), I caught the bus to the coffee shop. I ran into a gentleman named Abe from Russia who I had met last week. He is a professional photographer who has been shooting the work of a Jewish Viennese glassblower and sculptor, Whose name is well known and on the tip of my tongue.....(I'm short on time, I'll Google him later and tell you). He was another who was surprised that I am on the streets from our talk and as he was leaving he asked if he could give me a $20.00, well being X-mas eve and being short I accepted and thanked him, gratefully. Last night he came in and asked if I liked fruit and handed me a bag of oranges and grapefruits...and 1 apple, it must have been lost,,lol...not being able to eat all of them and not wanting them to freeze and go to waste, I shared them on the bus and with some folks at Starbucks.
Last night in the shed I was really comfortable and almost did not get up to go to Jenn's to shower and do laundry. I finally did get up at 10:00 am. and the damn wind made me wish I had stayed in.
I'm leaving her house now and heading over to the coffee shop for a few hours, then back to the shed. It is warming up outside, it's nearly 37 degrees!! tonight should be another good night for sleep....once I get in the bag. No not THAT way, alcohol is bad for you in the cold, as I well remember from the days when I would leave a club sweaty and hot from dancing and with a full load of 'anti-freeze' in my system........yeah, not a good idea.........LOL!

Monday, December 27, 2010

"Ice Sailing....................&........................My Pre-Lobotomy Examination Appointment.............."

Good Morning;
Well the storm by passd us here in Baltimore as far as snow is concerned, but it's cold as as a divorce lawyers heart out there as the wind is a real b*itch. 25 to 30 mph with the occasional gust up to 40mph, it had my bags pushed out to the side and acting as sails. I hit a patch of smooth ice and just stood still and was passing cars as they slowed for the traffic light. It was pretty funny to see the looks on some of the faces as I glided by
So I'm just here for a minute at the library checking Google Maps for the location of the Neurosurgeons office...of course it is on the FAR side of the hospital grounds, where I do not see a bus route within the immediate vicinity. I will have to walk from one side of the hospital all the way around the perimeter because of the fences and buildings that block a direct route.....And it is INTO the wind.....of course......damn if I had a pair of those 'wheelie' sneakers I could use my sail bot experience and tack into the wind....oh well, just the floppy soled boots!
Rachel and I had a real nice time Saturday afternoon and Sunday at Jenn's, she left about 3:30 pm. and I left to head up to the shed about 7:45 pm. Of course the damn bus never showed so I had to walk to the subway and catch the train to Owings Mills to catch the bus back down to Pikesville to the gas station and the shed....or stand out in the slush and the wind and the cold for an hour........I took the train!!
With two pair of sweatpants, my sweatshirt, a pair of the bootsocks, (that Jenn and family gave me for Xmas), and a second pair of socks on, once I got in the bag and flipped the blanket over me and warmed up I was almost too warm. Getting up to pee was no fun, but I was able to slide back into the warm covers quickly. Getting up this morning was a whole different story! I did not even swap clothes it was so cold, just put on the frozen boots and latched the door and hit the Giant for coffee and hot water to defrost my hands. I'll change in the doctor's restroom if I get the chance....maybe. I'm out of here now to go stand on the bus stop(s!) to get to Sinai Hospital. I may spend $2.00-3.00 on a cab from the last bus stop to the doctors office building if I can find one.
I may be back later, if not, tomorrow morning,
P. S. 5 days to go and 169 hits needed to make the 10,000 mark.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

"New Math Or Old Math.......Needy families in Baltimore often can't access affordable housing -"

Good Morning;
Another mathematical puzzle fo your perusal;
Look at the income numbers vs. the rental costs in the story linked below:
Needy families in Baltimore often can't access affordable housing -
As the robot in "Lost In Space" was prone to saying:
"That does not compute!"

"Sunday Morning Musings Of A Seriously Messed Up Mind!......................"

Good Morning;

So it's 8:15 am. Sunday morning and I've been up since 5:30 am. after a whole 2 and 1/2 hours sleep. I woke up when Rachel got up to go to the bathroom and never got back to sleep. I emptied the dishwasher and put away the dishes for Jenn and my back and feet hurt so bad I tried to lay down on their bed...(they are not in!)...and between the cats and the old mattress and box spring could not get comfortable, but I did see the laptop I thought Tom had taken up to his mother's when they stopped past on their way up to Monkton from Gaithersburg, so I've been cruising the Net and watching the news on the cable and watching the track of this damn snow storm that is due in an hour or two. Anywhere from 3 to 12 inches are forecast depending on how far east the center is out to sea.......Grreeeeaaaaattttt!!!! And the best part is the up to 40 mph winds that will be bearing down on us here in Baltimore on Monday, with the drifting and blowing snow that will accompany it!......NOT!!!!!
But as I keep saying..."Perspective!!!",.....
...............N.Y.C. and Boston are REALLY going to get nailed!

A great headline and a great story, and a what agreat name for a band...
"The Atomic Tumbleweeds"....LOL!...:
check out the link to the Wall Street Journal, it's a funny story that is not meant to be so. Yeah, well so it's not about homelessness....I don't spend ALL my time focused on what is really only a symptom of my current situation.
Okay, Rachel is up and about now and finished watching "Barbie in Mermaidia", where the really 'hot' CGI Fairy Barbies meet with the really 'hot' CGI Mermaid Barbies......(Damn,....either the CGI guys have gotten really, Really, REALLY!! good.....OR.....I really, Really, REALLY have to find some intimate female companionship.......really, Really, REALLY soon!!!...............ROTFLMAO!!!!!!......[maybe]......), and wants bacon for breakfast so it's time to hit the kitchen.
Hope everyone had a good Xmas, and today starts Kwaanza, and of course Hannukah just passed, so I'll just wish a "Happy....Festivus For The Rest Of Us!!!"
(I don't know when I'll be back, depends on the snow, if any....which reminds me!!
I'm supposed to see the Neurosurgeon*t, sh*t, sh*t!!!
189 more visits and we will hit 10,000 on the Sitemeter hit counter (at the end of the page if you scroll all the way down the blog)...can we do it by the end of the year?
YES WE CAN......!!!!!
(with apologies to President Obama for borrowing his

Saturday, December 25, 2010

"The Polar Express.......Or.......Xmas Train To Nowhere.............."

Good Evening;
A Quick check in and a Merry Christmas Wish for everyone.
Spent 5 hours last night riding the Light Rail just killing time and people watching all the others who had no place to go and no place to be on Xmas Eve.
Anyway, I'm over Jenn's now with my Rachel and just have a minute before the laptop goes on the road to Tom's mother's where they are spending the night.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Balto. Co. remembers residents who died homeless in 2010 -

Good afternoon;
As you travel from warm house to warm stores,
or to vist friends and families in your warm cars....
take a minute and say a prayer for those who could not...
and those who cannot.
(see the link below)
It always keeps me humble and grateful to remember,
no matter how bad it gets, I am blessed by having friends, family,
and all of you who read this blog.
At the very worst, at the end of my rope,
if I really, really, really need help, there are people who will respond.
For many different reasons, some of which I can relate to, others we will
never comprehend, some of these folks would not or could not ask for help.
Or worse...they tried and no one listened, nobody heard that silent scream.
God Bless and Good Luck;

Homeless: Baltimore County works on 10-year plan to end homelessness -


" Raus!!!!!...........Maus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.............................& A Grateful Holiday Wish................"

Good Afternoon;

So, I'm here at the library in passing on my way from Owings Mills where I just met with my friend Paul, who is a 'Loyal Reader' from almost the beginning of my blogging who contaced me by e-mail, we messaged back and forth for a time and then finally met. Now we get together for coffee and lunch when time and circumstance allow, (he's a busy guy..his job took hin to St.Louis for a week end once....that lasted for 2 I met him at the St. Thomas Starbucks where I used to frequent and renewed some acquaintances there with employees and a couple patrons who also read the blog, and we wento Wendy's where he bought me lunch. We ended up spending a couple hours talking and catching up, and as we were getting up to leave, he presented me with a $50.00 gift Mastercard as a Christmas present to get some things for my daughter and grandkids. Wow!!, Thanks Paul! Merry Christmas to you and the family.

I'm on my way next to the Starbucks in Mt. Washington and the Whole Foods where Michel, (hey! I forgot about her, that is Another Michelle in my!, [even if she does spell it with one L and one E]...) told me to come by before 5:00 pm. today because she has something for me...(and I think it may be her family's famous Sweet Potatoe Pie!.....Yummmm!).
Then it's the close the Starbucks and back to the shed for the night, and it's supposed to be another cold night. Last night was cold but I was warm enough, (as I was the night before which I forgot to mention yesterday), except for having to get out of the bag to chase away the pesky mouse who was getting into my food! For the first time in 2 years of sleeping in this shed I had an intruder that actually got into my food bag! Luckily it was only a 7/8 empty bag of Utz chips and the foil covered plastic of the packaging was crinkling loud enough to wake me. The first half dozen times I did not realize that he was actually in the bag, but thought he was just in the walls or rafters, scrabbling around on the paper side of the insulation. Sit up, turn on the lantern, bang on the walls, ....repeat x 5; then I saw the bag wiggle and jumped up and just missed the little bastard as he took off running through a hole in the wall. I emptied the bag and inspected every thing and found that only the chips bag had been breeched by the perp, though the outer bag of my package of spiral sliced ham showed signs of illegal forced entry, (sorry, slipping into 'cop talk' from the bad old B&E!), though he had left a few tiny black 'calling cards'. After I shook out and repacked everything, Thank goodness my Willy Wonka 'Scrumpdiddlyicious' bar was untouched!!!, and used a rubber strap with S hooks on either end and hung it from the center of the ceiling. Of course this was at Midnight and I did not get back to sleep until 8:00 am. and it was too cold to put my hands out of the sleeping bag to hold a book to read. Good thing I have a really vivid imagination and a great fantasy life.....LOL!, that helped pass the time. It was another "I don' wanna get-up it's too cold....." whiny morning and I finally got up at 10:00 am. to hit the Giant, use the facilities to wash and etc., and make a cup of Land O' Lakes French Vanilla Hot Chocolate with a couple of tubes of Nescafe Classico instant coffee tossed in for octane. Yay!! the Ginat's hot water is really HOT again. Enough so that the drink was to too hot and I had to wait for it to cool....of course with a double wall and air gap insulated travel mug that works really, really took a while......LOL!
Anyway, I'm pretty much done here at the library today, and they are closed both Xmas Eve and Xmas Day, & I'll be over Jenn's with Rachel on the 26th, Sunday, with no laptop, and on the 27th I have the Neurosurgeons appointment.....sooo, I may not be back online until Tuesday.
I want to wish everyone, 'Loyal Readers', Followers, Newbies, and those who just googled something and were referred here and are wondering WTF?, the happiest and safest of Holidays. Try to extend the holiday spirit you share with your friends and family to someone who may have no one else say a word to them all day.
Food, Mittens, Money.....or even an acknowledgement of their humanity, NO...of all our 'shared humanity'. A simple greeting of Merry Christmas and eye contact and a smile could be the difference between the strength to struggle on for one more day, or just giving up and letting go.
Between the cold and hopelessness, who knows how many winter deaths are a form of passive suicide?
Merry Christmas....Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

"BAH HUMBUG!!!!.....Oh, Who Am I Kidding....It's All An Act!..........LOL!.................."

Good Afternoon...........Again;
Maybe it's the season, maybe it's serendipity, maybe it's synchronicity, but what ever it is ...I like it!
As I was signing off of the computer I got a call from one of the longtime followers and 'loyal readers', Paul inviting me out to lunch and coffee tomorrow. This is kind of cool, 4 folks in 2 days, 2 new acquaintances, but familiar electronically, and 2 older friends, face to face friends, falling into my life.
I guess that's what comes when you are a contradiction such as myself, a gregarious loner, a likable curmudgeon, and an anti-social 'people person'.....LOL!
Just wanted to share that with you ;-)

"Sometimes You Win......Sometimes you Don't..........."

Good Afternoon;

Well,....Win some!
I picked up a bag of gifts for Rachel that I am grateful to Prologue for, and that I think she will love. A LiteBrite, a yellow knitted hat with pom-pom, a puzzle, a baton/wand with a spiral ridge running through it that is filled with tiny balls that run from to to bottom every time it is inverted, and make a weird amplified humming-buzzing, (yeah her mother is going to love me for that!), and a 11.5 inch 'fashion doll', (read:Barbie knockoff), who is named Michelle, which is a hoot, because my caseworker; two of my closest friends who I am secretly...(oops not any more!!......LOL!) love with, are named Michelle, and it is Rachel's middle name. I may keep it for myself....LOL! Many Thanks to Prologue; to Shelly for these lovely presents, and to Stu for taking the time and effort to track Shelly down and make them available to me today.

Lose some!

I met with the gentleman who is setting me up with a laptop after I left Prologue and he drove us up to the Woodholme Starbucks to show me the computer and the programs he had installed. We sat down, powered it up, and....."Operating System Not Found" shows up on the screen, after many attempts, plugging in the power cord, re-seating the hard drive, etc. and crossing our fingers...nada! He had checked it out at his place after setting it up and it was working okay, so he knew it was functional and operating. Possibly the socket into the hard drive fits is not making a proper connection, maybe there is some other connection that is too loose or sensitive and became separated as the laptop was handled? Well, frustrated we just went outside and sat and talked and he said he would look at the problem back at his bench at home. I am obviously disappointed, but still extremely grateful for the effort and attempt. Thanks Erik!

I'm leaving now for the Starbucks at Mt. Washington to eat for the first time today, I'll be back tomorrow.


"Meetings And Moonlight..............."

Good Morning;
Well it was an interesting evening when I got to the coffee shop last night.
As I was sitting down the woman across from me stands up, cries "Dave!!", and hugs me. It was my friend Michelle of MICA whom I had not been able to spend any time with in what seems like forever. We would always meet in passing, each going in a different direction. Next, just as we were getting into the meat of out catching up, a woman comes over and asks if "I am the fellow who blogs". It turns out she is one of the followers and just happened to be in this Starbucks yesterday. Because of some privacy difficulties she is having, she asks not be mentioned by name at this time, but she is also dealing with the on and off problems of intermittent homelessness. (And hearing the bits of her story I did is another example to me that as bad as my situation may seem, there are others with more material things and shelter from the elements...who are a lot worse off, both in a physical and mental sense.) Then, a bit later a colleague of Michelle's from MICA comes in and it was a walk down memory lane of some of the clubs and bars and the bands and band members in Baltimore in the mid '70s to late '80s we were both familiar with and where she had played. She is also the model coordinator at MICA who Michelle has wanted me to meet so possibly I could pick up some cash modeling for the students in the life drawing classes......and yes it could be 'nekkid'. (I don't know who might be more or the poor kids who would have to sketch me.....LOL!!!) Michelle and I talked 'til close then I walked through Whole Foods with her and she gave me a lift back to the shed, with a promise to make time for us to get together over the holiday break and maybe get Rachel and Remy, her 5 year old, together also.

I am now on my way to Prologue to see about some gifts for Rachel that are there somewhere, hopefully not in my caseworkers car. Then I am supposed to meet withe the gentleman who has a notebook PC for me. I will be back online later today with details.

Last night sleeping was actually enjoyable, and Monday night was also fairly comfortable. In fact I did not get up and out until after 12:15 pm. yesterday! (I had gotten up to watch the total lunar eclipse though, going out into the cold at various times between 1:30 am. and 4:30 am. to see various phases, so I have a legitimate! Full moon, winter solstice, and total eclipse....on the first day of winter; good omen....or bad???? hmmmmmm?

Ok, gotta run,.........Later,........................Dave

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

"Not Quite "Green Eggs & Ham"........But, Give Me Time!.............."

Good Afternoon;
So....first time online in 2 and 1/2 days. I spent Saturday night, Sunday, Sunday night, & Monday at Jenn's not even going outside except to take a load out to the dumpster once and feed 'Porch Cat', (and this IS his name as well as a, twice. I 'monster-sat' Sunday and Sunday night for Jenn and Tom, did my laundry finally on Monday, and had a chance for a couple of showers and hot meals. (I made bright green, (the first food coloring I grabbed), french toast on Sunday morning for everyone, 'just because'! The kids loved it once I had told them it was only color and not taste that was I did a Oven-Fry/Shake & Bake version of Chicken Fried Steak on Saturday night with cube steaks that turned out well and was reminiscent of something my mother made when I was a kid, "cheese steak rollups", (without the
I slept like crap, but it was partly my own fault because I got sucked into a "Robot Chicken" Star Wars marathon until some ungodly hour of the morning on Sunday night....but it was friggin' hilarious!!!! I LMAO!! Being Sunday, and then Monday with no school, the kids were allowed...Hell!!, ENCOURAGED!!! to sleep as late as possible both days, then given dry cereal to snack on and cups of milk and left in their beds to watch a DVD for as long as I went back to napping. (Jenn and Tom got to sleep in....I EARN my keep....LOL!) But by Monday afternoon it was time to leave, the tension factor was approaching the blow out valve explosion point. I headed over to the coffee shop and realized that the bus drivers were on their 2 week 'holiday pick' switching of runs, so new/different drivers were on most routes, most with bad attitudes because they had not the seniority to take the 'choice' was another fun-filled evening of taking notes of driver's badge numbers and bus numbers to be sent to the MTA with times and dates of serious infractions....and they are talking about another rate increase!?

I got an e-mail from Erik at Pikesville PC telling me he had a Notebook PC just about ready for me and asking about software preferences. I replied with my thanks and some info on my movements tonight and tomorrow so we can try to get together at some point, with any luck. I also got an e-mail from my case-worker at Prologue telling me she had gifts for Rachel and asking when I could come by and get them. I am hoping we can get together tomorrow as I have some questions about whether she was able to send off the 'show cause' letter asking for an extension of the refiling date of my S.S.I. claim. I have a Neurosurgeons appointment on Monday the 27th that I want to have the documentation from added to the other files, plus all the MRI and CT test data.

Time's up on the computer now, and a good thing because my eyes are troubling me and my fingers are not working correctly, between the retyping and the spellchecking this is one long post,


Saturday, December 18, 2010

"The Princess & The Pea.......2010 Updated Street Sleeping Version................"

Good Afternoon;
So last night was a balmy 26 degrees, and making sure my feet were dry and that both my feet and my core were warm before I climbed into the sleeping bag meant that I was toasty warm and mostly comfortable all night long. (there was a stubborn crease/wrinkle in the piece of closed cell foam mat that goes from shoulder to just past the hip that aligned with a double-thick seam in the bottom layer of the sleeping bag, that was exacerbated by a fold in one of my cardboard 'box springs' that slipped down a bit during the night. I'd wiggle and shuffle around and get comfy and fall asleep, but since I'm about as motionless as an epileptic having a fit when I sleep, I kept finding the wrinkle/crease/seam/fold under me at a sensitive point about once an hour.
I was up and out by 9:00 am this morning and on my way to Monkee's for meds from now until the 2nd, when I get my little bit of cash. The rest of the month is going to be a bitch moneywise, I'm totally flat. It's gonna be instant coffee and tap water, unless I get treated by! I've got about $70.00 in Foodstamps, and about 75 minutes on the phone still, and my bus pass is good until the 31st, so I'll survive, but it's going to be a drag over the holidays when the library is closed and the Starbucks is open reduced hours. If you can't buy a drink or a cup of coffee, most places won't let you just sit and kill time. (And I'll ride the trains for 10 hours before I hit the shelter trail here in Baltimore!) Prologue is supposed to have a gift(s?) for Rachel for the holidays, so that will be nice. I have to find out about that on Monday. I don't know if Rachel and I are still petsitting over the Xmas and New Years holidays in light of Jenn's and Tom's situation now. I'm heading over Jenn's to babysit tonight and tomorrow morning while they do some shopping for the kids and then go to 'Catholic Class'...their church is one of those Anglican Episcopal churches that seceded from their Diocese and adjoined to the Catholic church, while still keeping their married priests and some other particulars. So I'll be showering and doing laundry there, just in time!
Okay, I'm gonna go read for 2 hours and kill time until I can go to Jenn's.
See you tomorrow, maybe, if not...Monday,

Friday, December 17, 2010

Bah Humbug......&....Wet Thug"

Good Afternoon;

Well after a miserable night of struggling to get warm enough so I could get cold again, I had a run-in this morning on the parking lot with a 'thug wannabe', (he's driving a beat up 'econo-box'; raised up, with 20 inch rims and low profile tires, those bluish-white headlight bulbs on 24/7, and a high volume low fidelity bass enhanced sound system that is connected to an outside the passenger compartment speaker under the hood cranked up all the way to 'vibrate' that only serves to point out how rusted out the body is and fill the air with a distorted is as funny as it is pitiful......LOL), who was speeding to work at the Giant through the ice and slush filled parking lot, spraying water, salt and slush all over. I was able to miss MOST of it....but what did hit me did not help my mood. I turned back and caught him as he was getting out of the car while on his cell phone, and I forgot to mention that he was jabbering away driving with one hand and no Bluetooth, and scared the piss out of him as I stepped forward so that he was standing between the door and the body of the car unable to get in or out and gave him a piece of my mind, (and I don't have many left to!), concerning his driving, his manners and his level of intelligence. I then turned and walked away laughing my head off, as he stepped out of his car about to say something to me and slipped and plopped right on his ass in a puddle of slush.......LMFAO! My mood is still pretty poor, but I had a good laugh, so it balances out a bit.
It really was nasty cold last night ...again... and my feet were damp as well as cold, the boots are not 'slush proof', so everything was exacerbated. I just could not get the whole bag warmed up with body temperature as is usual, there were cold spots and I kept shifting all night long. It is supposed to warm up tonight...all the way to 22 degrees...whoopee...and I have my sleeping wear with me so I can put it on at the Giant or the gas station, over my jeans if need be, while still warm. I am not needed at Jenn's tonight, but she asked me to spend tomorrow, (Saturday) afternoon and night to watch the kids. I'll be able to shower and do laundry too. Of course with my luck and Baltimore's crazy weather... it's gonna be 80 degrees that!
That's about it for today, I really don't feel like writing, and I want to get out of the library before dark today. I'm tired of drinking lukewarm coffee because the Giant is having hot water problems, and I can't afford a cup of coffee due to a total lack of funds, so I'm heading over to the coffee shop where I can sit out of the weather and get some boiling hot water for the Starbucks VIA instant packet I have and they don't mind me sitting there.
Se you Tomorrow,

Thursday, December 16, 2010

"Homeless But Not Gnomeless!!............More Links....................& A Possible Early X-mas Gift?..........................."

Good Evening;

It may be technically afternoon, but it's dark outside, not to mention snowing!
The forecast ranges from 1 inch to 5 inches here in Pikesville, depending on who you are listening to. It is a cold, dry snow, falling on streets that have been below freezing for 3 or 4 days, so although there may not be much it is like trying to drive on a thin sheen of oil or talcum powder, hit the brakes a little bit tooooo hard and....zzzziipppp!
Of course BaltiMORONs cannot drive in the snow
On a related but more somber note, it was a BAD!!! day for Jenn and Tom yesterday! While trying to drill through an oddly shaped piece of metal at a job yesterday, Tom broke off a drill bit in the meaty part of his palm, (he is okay after x-rays showed no fragments in him and aftter tetanus and antibiotic shots, and a prescribed course of meds), so Jenn unexpectedly had to go and pick up Edward from school, while her cousin watched Devin. As she is nearing the school (St.Thomas Aquinas in Hamden), she was forced to go through a detour due to construction and as she was easing out to peer around an illegally parked truck at the corner blocking her vision...she was hit in the left front quarter and the car is totaled. F*ck, F*ckety F*ck F*ck!!! She is bruised and banged up on her leg and hit her head, but is otherwise OK, thank God, and luckily, she had not gotten Ed yet.
Tom had to come and get them, and it ended up with the two of them visiting the ER together for separate incidents.
Another sh*tty thing is that they had only liability insurance due to lack of funds, and the cop wrote it up as Jenn's fault even though plenty of witnesses testified that the other guy was speeding, and which could be determined by the impact and amount of damage, AND verified that there WAS a truck in a
'no parking/no standing zone',
and that the driver rushed out to move it in a hurry when he heard the sirens. Sometimes you can't win, even when you are in the right. and don't get me started on city cops and their abyssmal driving and accident record in recent years.
Well, last night I left here and went to the Starbucks, looking for Hannah who works there, to thank her for the kind words she e-mailed me about turning her on to Sitemeter for her website. She is a MICA student in the Graphic Arts/Design program and her site is , it is a pretty neat site, in a minimalist type of fashion. Check it out, look & enjoy, give her some hits on the counter from your visits....(and me some brownie points.....LOL!,...hey what can I say, I'm a sucker for talented and beautiful women....and I need all the outside help I can get, what with my current 'situation' etc.....ROTFL!!!).
But seriously, we are becoming good friends and she is one of the gracious people who pass on some of the marked out sandwiches and/or pastries when she or they can.
But of course she was not working last night so some of my best material went to waste, and with my CRS, I'll never remember it! I talked politics with Dave from Whole Foods, The History/PolySci guy who is currently interviewing for a bunch of different staff or campaign jobs with various pols, candidates, lobbyists, PACs...etc. I caught the bus back to the Plaza subway station after closing and Allan called me and I met him at one of the bus stops on the way to the shed. we sat and talked for an hour or two and he gave me a 'gift', (and I don't mean the residual effects of all the antibiotics fighting with the fastfood meal he had just eaten.....thiose 'gifts' I could have done without....LOL!!), of a 2 foot high molded plastic/epoxy/polymer Garden Gnome, (or possibly 'Doc' of "Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs"), with abook clasped under one arm and the other arm extended holding a little lantern with either a small Xmas light bulb or L.E.D. (I could not tell which at the time), that is powered by 2 or 3 AA batteries, and he has a photo cell on his back that turns the light off in sunlight (or in my case last night, a brighter!).

Just What I Need!.....LMAO!!

He said he thought I may want it for Rachel or the grandmonsters, but...hell I want him!.....LOL! I think I am going to save it for Rachel after they are settled in at the new apartment, and give it to her the next time the 'ex' pisses me off!...(oops....did I type that out It really is kind of cool and the paint looks good and bright. Allan said it was in his mother's house, and he sure as hell didn't want!

Okay.....I get an e-mail today from Erik at Pikesville PC, who builds, buys, sets up, and maintains PCs, and he offers to give me an old notebook PC to be able to access the Internet from free wifi hot strings attached. He asks that I mention his company and acknowledge him, Pikesville PC, for providing and maintaning it, (if needed I assume). I accessed his website, , and took a look and read the inforamation offered there, and from what I see this is a legitimate and honest business. I have had some email contact through the blog previously and have seen a link on Facebook. So.....We are supposed to meet next week and see what's what.

I am happy to do some publicizing and promoting for him and his company in excahange for a notebook! Hell, I'll even put in a link and an ad/display over on the left side with all my other stuff....which reminds me I have to remember to cut and paste all my 'missing links' back into the "Links And Thinks" gadget FIRST next time I get online... & NOT remember when I am almost out of time!....LOL!

Speaking of links, , has had some really interesting stories popping up on my Facebook page recently. If you are on Facebook 'friend' them and you'll get some real insight into people, problems, and solutions, (good and bad) to homelessness.

Well, I think I'm going to head out into the driving slush and hit the Starbucks for a while, just to kill time. I don't really want to sit in the library at the computer, and ooops, my time is up in 10 minutes anyway so that is a moot! I may ride the trains for few hours tonight and listen to the dumbass bitching of some of the geniuses here in Baltimore...Did you know that the snow last February was a government plot to keep the poor black folks indoors...yup, heard it on the subway so it must be!

I'm nice and clean because I stopped at Jenn's and showered, and got my mail from JAI too... I see the Neurosurgeon on Dec. 27th! Hooray!! I still have not gotten the referral to the Hematologist, and I admit I have been procrastinating about the shrink and the addictions counselor, (to see if I can get my meds on the prescription plan, even though I am using them for 'off-prescription' benfits, the only people who can prescribe it is a doctor who has taken the special 8 hour course to be approved, though the leading doctor in a practice can be the one who is listed as the prescriber and have 10 (??) doctors under him...'it's complicated' as they I don't know who I am supposed to see when about the gall bladder though, I guess I'll find out when I go back to my PCP on the 12th of January. Though now that I think of it...I have to go back and get paperwork for the court date on the 11th before that.....hmmmm? Oh well. next weeks' worries!

Damn.....6:45 pm sucks when you are flat broke and really, really, really limited in your choices of where to go and sit!

Anyway....sorry about the crazy line spacing the computer is 'messing with me' as Edward would say..(when I 'mess' with!).... Unless this snow shower turns into a blizzard unexpectedly.... I'll see you tomorrow AM. Now that Jenn and Tom are down to 1 car and need the money real bad, Friday night's plans to babysit while they are out just went south. He is DJing, and she'll be home, so I am not sure if I will be spending the night or not, or doing laundry...damn, forgot that!

Oh well...........Later.......................Dave

Some MTA bus drivers may be turning away fares -

Good Afternoon, Again;
Another link;
This time to a story in the Baltimore Sun about the MTA.
What a crock of sh*t!
Drivers DO get hassled about being on time, but more to the point,
WHY is the MTA administration concentrating on fiscal issues, but ignoring the very real and quite possibly life threatening things such as speeding and ignoring traffic signs and laws or 'rolling stops' at stop signs; jack rabbit starts and stops, and pulling around corners while elderly & disabled passengers are still trying to get seated; passengers and even more often other drivers who stand next to the operator while he/she is driving preventing them from seeing out the right side window on the door, and distracting them as much as or more then cell phone use; drivers who are petty, arrogant, ignorant, and obstructionist, drivers who play little race games such as purposely stopping before or after the designated stop and making one walk, but who will then stop and allow others to leave or board the bus at the proper place or where it is convenient for the rider of the same race.???? The list goes on and on.

Explore Baltimore County: Night of Peace Family Shelter a place where those who care can share their blessings

Good Afternoon;
Click on the link above or in the title,
read the story that was in the Jeffersonian, and the Qwings Mills Times, and take a look the various sets of numbers.
Kinda brings the reality down to a level that is more easily understood,
doesn't it? Homelessness can be a sudden change of life for some that is like
being trapped in a sand pit, the more you struggle to get out, the more the
walls slide out from under you.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

"Kind Words and Killer Cold......"

Good Afternoon;
So, it's been a few days since I've been here. Between Sunday's short library hours, watching Devin for Jenn on Monday, and being driven over to Rachel's mother's (the 'ex') house on Tuesday to pick up the few bags and boxes, a Rubbermaid storage tub, and the two bulging briefcases of assorted writings that make up my possessions that are worth not losing, then back to Jenn's apartment where they all fit into the bottom of her coat closet,....and the friggin' cold!!, which, given the choice of having to take buses and trains back and forth, to and from the library, and then to and from the coffee shop, plus all the walking and waiting outside involved...OR being dropped off right at the door of Starbucks....wellll, as you can see... I decided the blog could wait!....LOL!!

It has been way too insanely cold for Baltimore in December!
In fact, it is too cold for B'more in any month!
Did I ever mention anytime in the past 2 years that......

Well, in case I did not, just so you know my feelings....
I'll tell you again..............
!!!!!!!!COLD WEATHER SUCKS!!!!!!
Thank you for your forbearance.

Anyway, sleeping outside is quite refreshing in 18 degree weather and 30 mph winds (with gusts to 45), I think my 'Aqueous Humor' froze last night.
(And that is NOT a new flavor of frozen dessert in the 'Zombie Delights' line from Birdseye!....LMAO!) Actually the worst part is the 'getting out' of the bag in the morning.

On Sunday I did not get out of the bag until after 1:00 pm. between being exhausted from poor sleep the previous week, the rain, the library not opening until 1:00 pm., and there being nowhere in the area to go to to be able to just sit (and having absolutely no cash at all). I went to the Giant to wash up and get something for lunch, and then library where the line was so long waiting for a computer I just left and got in the bus to the train, to the train, to the Starbucks.

Of course being a wet rainy Sunday every mode of mass transit was late, crowded, and or stopped en route for a problem that took 20 minutes to correct. A 40 minute ride took 2 and a half hours....I was not a happy camper! And when I am there the 'corporate clone' shift manager tells me that there si no balance on the gift card that I have been using for the past 2 years as my 'refill card' and hve kept a balance of $0.53 for just that purpose on it, but "I'm not going to charge you for it"....well damn, the fault is yours or the store's computer....I friggin' hope not!...if it was not for the damn condescending and imperious attitude I would not have been so ticked off...........HEY you are only a shift manager at a coffee shop......unclench your sphincter once in a while!...(SORRY about the After leaving there at 8:00 pm. when they closed it was back out in the rain and to the #27 bus where I was scared sh*tless by the driver traveling 50 miles per hour on wet roads with a 30 mph speed limit, then into the shed. I did reach Allan and apologize before I got to sleep after he called and we played voice mail phone tag for a bit first. It was not too cold when I went to sleep, but when I woke up to pee at 3:00 am. the wind from the cold front had started to blow and the temp. was dropping rapidly. Monday I had to watch Devin for a bit and crawled out at 8:30 am. and damn near froze my fingers off just dressing and putting things away, I decided to leave the blanket, sleeping bag, foot blanket & pillow set-up in place because of the way my foot ends up getting so cold at night setting up, (I have to remove my boots or shoes because it is so narrow and I have to walk and stand on the bag and blankets to arrange them). I then really froze my hands near the first stages of frostbite trying to unstick the metal latch I rigged up to keep the door closed against the wind. By the time I got to the Giant I was actually crying from the pain, which was nothing compared to what was to come when I put my hands under the luke warm water to bring them back to life and the blood returned to my fingers. Creative cursing gave way to basic 4, 11 and 10 letter cuss!
After I had showered at Jenn's and had lunch, when they came home I said goodbye to Devin and our tea-party friends Dora and Sleeping Beauty, (whose name is Aurora, which Devin will correct you on quite, and Barbie (w/grape scented and purple hair!!), and went over to the Starbucks (where I was graced with a bag of marked out items by Katie...thank you and God bless), because I really did not want to do the aforementioned bus stop shuffle half a dozen times in the cold. Getting back to the shed with Jenn after her meeting and our weekly Monday night trip through the Giant I was able to jump into my sleeping sweats and slide into the bag and my human burrito costume quite quickly, saving about 15 minutes of setting up and freezing fingers and ass off.

Tuesday was a repeat of Monday morning with the only difference being Jenn picking me up at the library after I dropped of a book that was due and thenheading over to the 'ex'es' to get my stuff I had packed on Saturday, then dropping it off at the apartment and then being dropped off at the coffee shop. I again took a chance and left the bag, etc. out, but I could not get the latch to work because the metal had seized up from the cold, (18 degrees each of the past 3 nights and not above 30 degrees in the daylight, my water bottles and the remains of the Powerade I bought each day are frozen solid), so I wedged it shut and prayed for the best. This being Tuesday, the one night of the week there is any activity in the lot next to the shed I was worried about the door being open and the old guys who park there nosing about. When Jenn picked me up we drove by the shed and it was still shut, so I thought it would be okay. After spending the day in the coffee shop and trying to keep warm in the big high ceilinged drafty room, (sweatshirt on -- sweatshirt off, swweatshirt on -- sweatshirt off), I was again told by 2 different people that "You gotta write a book", after entertaining them with some of the stories of my life. I walked over to the bus loop and caught the bus back to the Plaza station with one of my regular bus drivers and sat in the bus with her staying warm and talking until she had to pull out for her next run, saving me 15 minutes less outside time waiting for my connection.

When I got to the shed the door was of course blown wide open, but as a saving grace, for some reason the regular Tuesday group was not there. (I don't blame them, a bunch of 65 to 80+ year old guys, the hell with coming out in such cold! One more night with their wives won't [hopefully] kill!)

Again the truncated ritual of setting up my sleeping arrangements helped immensely, as did the rapid-change donning of 2 pair of fairly warm socks from my bag, so fast that my feet did not have time to This morning at 7:00 am. I got up to the prodding of the prostate and by the time I got back in the bag it had cooled a good 50 degrees!

Have I told you recently;
COLD WEATHER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!.....?

It was morning meds and back in the bag, waking every hour to check time and temp. and trying to make a phone call until I got through and found out the (tentative) appt. I had was canceled and need nort be rescheduled because the mail had got there in time....for a change! So it was 11:00 am before I braved the cold again after pulling my pants down from the shelf and dragging them into the bag to warm up enough at least so that the creases in the denim were not in danger of removing a Putting on boots where the leather is as flexible as chromium steel is a real treat, (and people wonder why I refused a pair of 'steel toed' boots), it took an hour to warm up my feet enough so that the folks in the Giant did not think I was suffering an epilectic fit as I walked down the aisle.

I want to send out a truly grateful thank you to Dawn, the woman who runs the flower shop at the Centre Court Giant in Pikesville. We have known each other y sight and to say hello to, with maybe a casual comment about the weather or some such thing for 4 years since she came to this store and just about the time I ended up on the street. We would meet in the now closed Starbucks across the parking lot on occasion and as I roamed through the food store, but never really had a deep conversation. Today, as I was repacking my groceries and she was getting a cup of coffee at the machine, and she says to me I am looking good these days, particularly in the past year, and that she has seen positive changes in me since we have met. ...Well.....Damn! if that was not a boost to both ego and self esteem!
But it is something that Jenn has said, which is why I am back in my grandkids lives, and something which can be credited to writing this blog, so thank You, Loyal readers, and to the Buprenorphine I have been taking, (on a regular, steady, consistent basis), for about 2 years(?) now also.
I'm out of time for the day, so it's off to the coffee shop....and my instant coffee and their hot water...I have No More money until January 2nd ;-(

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Decline Of Common Civility.....................'Rantus Interruptus'.............&.............Life In One Cubic Yard"

Good Afternoon;

So you may have noticed that all my links and even the whole sidebar "Links And Thinks" is missing from the blog. This was not intentional, I was trying to add 3 more links to pertinent sites and as I was moving the cursor, accidentally clicked it as it was over the 'Remove'***t!!!
!!!Hey!!! I posted my problem on the Google help forum and some guy called "Yoboy" went into the cache or the html file or some such and pulled up all my links and e-mailed them to me!! Very cool and many, many thanks guy!!
Now I have to copy and paste them all back, when I have the time this week.

It's just been that kind of day or two... (or three)

After going over to Jenn's to shower and shave and eat a hot lunch, (she buys-I cook, the usual deal, which is getting harder to do, because I am having problems standing for any length of time....AGAIN??!!??!!....WTF!?), then over to the coffee shop for a bit, (where Josh handed me a bag of marked out items.....thank you very much amigo!), and then to the bus to the bus to the shed.

Thursday night was a BADDDDD night! (as was Friday for similar reasons) Even though it was not as cold as the previous few nights, (if only by 5 degrees), when I was in the shed getting my bedding ready my right foot became chilled to the bone and I could not get it to warm up for over an hour. It felt as if it was very close to being frostbitten, while the left foot was cold also, it was nowhere near as icy feeling. The weird thing is that from the ankle on up, excepting my fingers and nose when exposed, the rest of my body was comfortably warm. After rubbing and rubbing and finally wrapping my feet and the lower part of the sleeping bag within their own cocoon, I was able to lay down and attempt to sleep. Not that I actually DID sleep of course, I ended up reading until 4:00 am. when I went to sleep with no cold issues. I woke up at 8:00 am. Friday with my feet again ice cold to the touch and feeling so cold they felt 'hot', like as in a post-electric shock type of 'hot'. I do not know if this is a circulatory problem, (although Dr. Marcus my podiatrist says she feels good blood flow to my feet??), or a nerve problem aggravated by the spinal/disk/tumor issues? I really want to get my referral to the Neurosurgeon pretty damn soon, as in yesterday, because it is starting to get a bit scary. By the time I was packed and dressed my fingers were also numb and it took a good thirty minutes for my feet to feel 'normal', but then the itching began. (Is this not a sign of chilblains, a pre-frostbite condition? WEB MD here I I went to Jenn's and showered and did a load of laundry and then tried to reach the doctor at JAI.............HA!.........late afternoon on a Friday..........not happenin'!

I went over to the Starbucks and again was graced by a couple marked out sandwiches and a bag of donuts......(oh yeah, I forgot to mention this but the 'Dunkin Dumpster' is temporarily out of action as the D.D. it is adjacent to has been undergoing renovations for the past month.....and in related wasted food news, I have been stopping by the Popeye's dumpster to try to catch the fried chicken just before it get's dumped, [and to be honest, if it's in a clean box and that has just been tossed, and it's cold....well, been there done that too]...and I have been discreetly watching the young 'thug wannabe' deliberately either dump the whole 20-40 pounds of still hot chicken out of the box and into the filth so it is inedible...or worse, look around and see if anyone is watching,....and urinate into the box and place it carefully rightside up in the dumpster and head back in the store. One night I heard him as he laughed and bragged to one of the other workers about how he was gonna go out on the weekend and "get all 'blunted' up with his boys and f*ck with the homeless waiting to get into the mission"...nice fellow, huh?..... next time you hear someone complain about, or read or watch a news story and some bleeding heart clueless bastard with no street knowledge at all starts whining about the 'poor mistreated juvenile' charged as an adult for a crime....well this is only a glimpse into the reality. OOPS......sorry, off on a tangent But while I am still ranting.....Last night I stopped in the Giant and used the restroom before I hit the shed. The urinal is out of order, and has been for a couple days...not a huge problem, "plumbing happens" as they There is also a stall with a commode, and as I entered the bathroom so did a young (17-21?) Giant employee, a porter or parcel pick-up or shopping cart wrangler or some such position, who went into the (disability accessible) stall before me and with the door wide open, did his business and walked out and washed his hands and began texting.......without bothering to flush, OR......wipe off the seat he did not raise and subsequently proceeded to piss all over!!!!! I walked back out to the sinks and took a handful of wet and dry paper towels and cleaned the seat, all the while expressing my disgust and displeasure in words of no more than six letters addressed to the mannerless, ignorant, and socially deficient waste of oxygen. Not that it had any effect. Today I have written a formal complaint to the store manager and Giant's Landover HQ. This is but a single example of the behavior of the newest batch of, mostly young, mostly male, employees and their total lack of respect not only to customers, but also to store rules and regulations and common civility......Okay...I'm done...really!

So I head into the shed and get set up for sleep and again my right foot becomes freezing cold to the touch and although I can warm it up this time, it takes about 40 minutes..

WTF>>>my time is not u

Well it's Sunday afternoon and I'm back after suffering a case of the 'Time Gremlins', (which at times infest the Baltimore County Public Library's computer network, telling me my time is used up and I spent 180 minutes on the system when I had not and refusing to let me back in), and then running into the lifeform 'Bureauctaius Idiotus Obstructionus' who would not sign me back on at the desk saying "Well if the computer says you were on for your were", even after others began complaining of the same problem, and being vouched for by another librarian. So that is why you, loyal reader were the recipient of "Rantus Interruptus" and this post is a combined condensed "Readers Digest" weekend edition.....LOL!!

Yesterday after the computer/librarian fiasco I went over to Rachel's to give her her camera that was her Hannukah present. She was thrilled by it, especially that it was We could not find any batteries with a decent charge, (they are in the process of moving so who knows which box they are in), so the one's I had with me gave her just enough power and time to have it power-up and let her take one picture of me before it faded out. Her mother is supposed to get a package to day, or I will tomorrow at Jenn's, but at least she got to see it at work once.

I then went into the basement and went through the bags and boxes that were being stored for me, throwing away three bags of clothes that were nothing but rags and three bags of assorted junk, crap, and drek that I had accumulated. I ended up with 1 Rubbermaid storage bin that has to be gone through yet; 3 boxes of pictures and papers; 2 boxes of HO train items for my grandson Ed; and a bag with coats and a scarf and a really good quality Tour Lion motorcycle winter weather suit...(maybe I can sell that on Ebay??)...and just about the only thing I have left of my father, a pair of boat shoes; and a box of assorted 'memories' ranging from bumper stickers to a Cub Scouts neckerchief slide and Boy Scout Jamboree patches from the '60s, to my qualifying certificate from Jump School and First Parachute Jump Plaque, to match books lighters and napkins of places I've worked and restaurants long gone....etc. Oh, Yeah, and 2 briefcases bursting at the seams of poetry, stories, notes and ideas waiting for editing, transcription, or completion.
I don't know which is most disheartening, what little there is, or what is missing forever....lost, stolen, trashed, pawned, or given away. Everything I own, these items, and including what is in the shed and at Jenn's would probably fit into a
3 Ft. x 3 Ft. x 3 Ft. box.......
Either............a shining example of non-materialism at it's best?.....or.....a pitiful collection of possessions defining a life of lost opportunities? Oh well

Last night, (Saturday), after leaving the Starbucks at closing time and getting caught by the onset of the rain as I was walking over to the bus stop, (But I planned for it this time, wearing the old boots, which are at least water resistant!), then taking the buses to Pikesville, Allan pulled up as I was getting off the bus near the gas station. He had called a few times shortly before while I was on the bus, but I had the phone on silent and missed the calls because I really did not want to talk to anyone. (The rain, the reality, & the depression that was slowly coalescing like this morning's fog were putting me in an extremely isolationist mood, and I also just wanted to read the book I am into as long as I could and fall asleep....not getting much rest the previous 2 nights.) I said hello and waved him off, and the look on his face added an accent of guilt to the slowly churning emotional stew bubbling inside my skull. I'll try to call him tonight, I guess.

Anyway, once I got the water deflectors arranged in the shed and lay down, the warm temps. last night were a blessing and I did not hear a thing until 8:00 am. this morning when the slick roads caused a crash hell of a wake up call LOL!!! and the sirens were an added boost!

Okay times up for real now


"The Truth About Panhandling"....Although Not The Truth, The Whole Truth...And Nothing But The Truth;.....So Help Me 'Supreme Being'............"

Good Afternoon;
This is a link, (as is the title of this post..?), to a letter/comment to an article in the Washington Post about panhandling.....

The story was titled "Panhandling: The Uncomfortable Truths And Lies" and appeared November 30, 2010. (There is a link to the story in the start of the letter).

They give some, and I repeat...some...insight into panhandling, from the view of outsiders, both positive and negative.
It also illustrates a theme that I have been touching on since I started writing this blog 2 years ago, the simple, basic acknowledgement of our existence and our humanity, and the boost to self esteem that it can deliver. One thing that they do not seem to comprehend is the difference between being given money, which allows for options and choices and the feeling that one has some modicum of control over one's life, however small......and the at times degrading sense of helplessness and despair that comes with some peoples gifts by their attitudes of 'take what I give you and be grateful, whether you want, need or can use what I give you or not'. I am not talking about the addicts and alcoholics, or scam artists, who are feeding their habits by any means possible or only out for a buck, and I am also not saying every charitable person has that attitude. I'm just saying that there are as many reasons to give money as not to, and generalizations do not reveal the whole picture.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

"Fresh Cut Steaks And Flash Frozen Fingers........&.........Snail Mail Update..........."

Good Morning;
Just a short entry for now, I'm on my way over to Jenn's to shower and do laundry and get some lunch. She said she'd spring for the really nice steaks if I would pick up a few items for her at the Giant with my gift card, (bread, mayo, tuna...etc. for the kids lunches) for me!
I was at the Plaza subway station last night waiting for my connecting bus to take me up to the shed when Allan called looking for someone to talk to. He met me at the gas station and we sat for an hour or so and chatted. One leg and one usable arm and he still is out and about, at least they are on opposite sides so he balances
It was cold last night in the shed and I woke up every hour on the quarter hour and rolled over and looked at the time, pulled the blanket back over my face and went back to sleep. At 9:15 am. I got up, packed up, "locked" up and went to Giant and spent 15 minute running warm water over my frozen, aching fingers, trying not to scream with the pain. COLD WEATHER SUCKS!!!
Gotta get a bus......
P.S. to L.G.
c/o 6527 Eberle Drive = Apt. 103
Baltimore, Maryland 21215
(Or for anyone else who wants a copy of 'Talespinner'
my book of poetry, $10.00 or however much you wish to donate,
[in a U.S. Postal Money Order please, some other M.O.s are impossible to cash]
Or for anybody sending Christmas cards etc., this is my new Mail Drop address)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"The Boots Were A Bust..............."

Good Afternoon ......Again;
It is getting colder and the wind has picked up even more, I am so overjoyed winter is here early....NOT!

So I took the bus to Prologue and My caseworker and I and her teammate went to the Walmart in Owings Mills, which is one of my favorite stores, with happy and helpful staffing, neat and tidy fully stocked shelves and racks with a wide variety of merchandise, a complete range of sizes in all styles and colors, and always plenty of cash registers available. I'm always able to find what I want and need, and plenty of it, every time I am there.

(Too much? Yeah I know sarcasm should be sharp and swift and too the the point, like a rapier; not beaten to death and beyond, as with a bludgeon.........LOL!)

There were no boots that fit me at all, in any style or size or width combination. In fact there were no 11 & 1/2 boots at all! And no size 11 except extra wide. Depending on the cut and style I can usually wear a 10 & 1/2, or 11, or 11 & 1/2; using a wider or smaller width to compensate. Not here, either crushed toes or slipping and sliding heels and insteps. Needless to say I was not happy, and this type of shopping trying on 20 pairs of shoes and getting more and more frustrated brings on the damn anxiety attacks. I did get a pair of jeans, the ONLY pair in my waist and inseam size in the store. Of course they have a damaged but still functional zipper, (the 'pull tab' is bent out wards at a 90 degree angle at the end...weird), but they'll do. By the end of this experience I was soaking wet and trying like hell to keep from hyperventilating, and my field of vision kept narrowing ever smaller. I think I kept most of it hidden, because I really did not want to freak out in front of my caseworker, (and her partner), there is not the close rapport that I feel the previous person and I had, and I am always a feeling a bit on edge as it is.

Anyway, when we stepped outside and walked across the wide open windswept parking lot, you can imagine the thrill as the cold hit my damp clammy I had left my heavy coat and vest in the car because it was too bulky to keep putting on and off or carrying around while trying on clothes and boots.....yaeh.....big! They dropped me off here at the library and now that I am dried off I am going to get something to eat, (for the first time today, other than instant coffee), and something hot to drink.

Oh yeah, I also found out that the 60 days I am supposed to have to appeal my second denial of S.S.I. has passed....thank you very much JAI, I needed the Neurosurgeon's appointment and the Hematologist's now I have to find out whether I can get an extension or have to start the whole process over again

I'll be back tomorrow at some point, when I am forced out of my nice warm cocoon