Saturday, December 31, 2011

"Last Post....Last Thoughts...."

Good Evening;
Well the last post of 2011 and I really don't feel like writing anything tonight.
I want to thank everyone for reading and following and commenting. I am especially grateful to those of you who chose to buy copies of 'Talespinner' and hope you found it both enjoyable and edifying.
Much gratitude also goes out to the folks who were moved to offer gifts or donations after reading or after meeting and talking with me.

(And Thank You, Blue, for the surprise gift last night of the Starbucks gift card, very appropriate since we only see each other here almost every But seriously, I'm touched by your thoughtfulness and generosity.)

Last night walking to the gas station before bedtime I came across a yellow legal pad filled with notes, specs, and details relating to bids and proposals for a contracting business, as well as some printed bids, invoices, and RFPs. On the letterhead of some of the paperwork was the name and e-mail and phone # of the V.P. of the contracting company. As my last 'good deed' of 2011 I sent him an e-mail letting him know I found all his notes etc. and if he wanted/needed them back to please contact me by e-mail and we could figure out where to meet. And I also asked him to stop and consider how much time, money, and aggravation having them back would save him, and that I would not be insulted if he wanted to pass along a finders, but that I'd be happy to return everything to him no matter what. I would have called the business phone number, but I'm out of minutes until tomorrow sometime, and out of money except for bus fare for Sunday the 1st, until.....????????

Anyway, I hope everyone has a happy and safe New Years Eve and best wishes and for a healthy and prosperous 2012.....
(as long as it lasts until the Mayan calendar ends, and so does the

After borrowing the phone and a quick call to Rachel, I'm heading back to the shed after closing here and I'm just going to crawl into the new bag and watch TV until the battery dies, (which should be about 1:00 am.), and listen to all the ghetto morons shooting off their guns into the air at Midnight, then read until the flashlight gives up the ghost.  I have had half of a pint bottle of vodka that I have not been in the mood to drink for about 5 weeks that I may mix with something and have a cocktail as the Ball drops in Times Square, and a doughnut (if the Dunkin Dumpster has any fresh to celebrate....
or....sit in the gas station with Daniel if I want company, watching the drunks stumble in and out, then get pulled over by the cops as soon as they drive off....Reisterstown Rd. is not the place to drink and drive!!!

(unless anybody has a better offer..1 minute left on the


Friday, December 30, 2011

"Courtesy Is Not Necessarily Censorship.......... OR ......... Redacted Not Retracted............"

Good Evening;

Because it was put to me politely as a request, I am going to refrain from using names of certain folks in situations where my observations good and less good may be misinterpreted.
Or course this also means that service or actions above and beyond will not be assigned to the individual either.


Bus Trippin'..............................."

Good Evening;

Well I ended up catching the #53 to Old Ct.Station and the first train was heading East so I got off at the Plaza station and caught the #27 bus to Mt. Washington. So far so good, the half-caf coffee is staying put as is the Healthy Choice ham and chicken deli slices on light rye, (w/mayo....but that's a given no matter what!! ).....all systems nominal!

Overheard on the bus:
Old black woman gets on and says,"What a dirty bus, and it's late too. I guess 'THEY' [her emphasis] don't care about us black folks.", while looking directly at me. Not wanting to start a confrontation or controversy, being the only white person on the bus, I just snorted silently and laughed to myself while composing an internal monologue(s) of how I would reply if I were to do so, both rational and

I then heard another black woman speak up and say
" This bus just came out of the garage...with a black service crew, a black cleaning crew, a black supervisor who signed it off as acceptable, and a black driver who signed it out as cleaned and that he did a walk through and that there were no abandoned bags or packages, or bottles, trash or damages. So why you staring at the white man, sister? Stop trippin'. We gotta start admitting to ourselves that our own attitude's gotta change and not yell prejudice or racism at every situation. Not sayin' the playin' field is always level, but the more we ignore the fact that sometimes we ARE at fault, the less people of any race are going to take seriously claims made when something IS unfair!"
Then the normal bus chatter picked back up as if nothing was ever said, one guy "wishing everybody happy holidays....except snitches....", and the second woman looked up at the sky and shook her head, and over at me and rolled her eyes.
I decided it was safer and wiser to exercise my Miranda rights at that time.

Anyway, it's 6:30 pm. and no negative reactions to the test bites and sips of the above mentioned food and coffee, so it's dinner time. I'm going to take my meds with food also, just in case, because certain combinations on an empty stomach are contra-indicated.


"Running Man......................"

Good afternoon;
So I'm here at the library just in case the power situation at the coffee shop has not been rectified yet. I may even take the first bus that comes along either way when I leave here, whether it's going up or down Reisterstown Rd., and go to the St. Thomas Center Starbucks for a change, if the westbound bus is first.

Last night was a really rough night, that continued through the morning, with a sudden, no warning, no!...can't get the damn zipper open...hell with a jacket...screw relocking the door...omg,omg, omg.....mad rush to the gas station bathroom, attack of -- the 'Willy Makeits/Betty Wonts' -- to put it politely. My stomach and bowels were on fire, and the pain in my back had spread, and my gut was cramping up so bad I was almost in tears.
I ended up going to the ER (after finally being able to leave the bathroom...AND donning a complete change of clean clothing,) when things got worse and I was given a shot to stop ALL motility and IV fluids for an hour. The bus ride over was agony, it was one of the oldest buses still in service, and the shocks were dead. You can imagine how every bump and pothole felt.

Times up......gotta run.....
I'm back......
They took about 3 gallons of blood to run tests on, pancreas, liver, and gallbladder, and I think kidneys too. The abdomen and back pain were reminiscent of a gallstone episode, but the nausea and diarrhea were an added bonus. Intestinal virus an/or bacterial infection were the initial thoughts, from flu to food poisoning, but ruled out after some of the test results came back, and due to the lack of fever.
Other tests take longer to process, so they will take a day or two yet before results come back.
I've avoided food except for some crackers and plenty of water. The lack of coffee is beginning to make itself!
I'm out of time on the library computers, and I don't feel like unpacking the laptop right now, so I'm going to try to get in contact with my regular doctor again to be sure she gets the results directly as they are available. Then I may sit here and read..(doze)..or head out to the bus and the train and ????

Thursday, December 29, 2011

"The Wobblies........................."

Good Afternoon;
Well Just a short post for now because I'm sitting at the lone high top table by the window and the Sun is shining in my face and it's quite painful on the eyes, and when I can block it out I can't see the screen for the glare, and this table was either put together improperly or it is defective because it wobbles like a drunken sailor on shore leave.
The reason I came over here is because the outlets at each seat under the long bench by the wall suddenly stopped working, all 7 of them. When asked to check the circuit breakers, the reply was we have no control over the electricity. If the whole store went out, that is probably true, but there has to be a circuit breaker box in the back somewhere, not only by code/law, but common sense.

Anyway....spent last night at Jenn's watching the kids while she and Tom went out to dinner and a movie, her Xmas present from him...'a date night'.
Showered and did laundry and ate some leftover Christmas Steak, (and cookies too.), and was shown and played with all the things Santa left for the grandmonsters. 
I had major difficulty sleeping due to an episode of severe lower back pain, meds did not work, even at the maximum dose I was willing to chance, above and beyond normal. I had just fallen asleep when all 4 cats began to yowl and spaz out so I gave them all a little bot of dry cat food to shut them up and lay down on the floor and passed out. 10 minutes later I heard Jenn stumbling and mumbling around and doing the same thing...the sneaky, lying, feline bastards had started to rock and roll in her bedroom among all the boxes and woke her up.

I looked at the time and it was quarter to five so I took my morning meds and the combination let me sleep for 3 hours. Once I realized it was Xmas vacation for Ed I was able to doze off and on until we all got up about 10:00 am. After a quick cup of coffee and packing my bags we piled into Tom's car and I got dropped of at the Hunt Valley light rail stop....(after we turned around halfway there and had to go back to the house because Tom forgot his insulin and necessary equipment)....and they went to Jenn's aunt's house and then out to see various train gardens at firehouses and ???.

It's been a messed up couple days, between the pains and somehow losing $20.00 that I cannot account for and did NOT spend, and the onset of the expected downhill slide of my depressive cycle. I called a shrink from the referral list given me by my doctor to make an appt. and was told to call back on the Monday, the 2nd of January, so that is up in the air, as is the walk-in to JAI's Monument St. office to meet with the addictions coordinator/facilitator to find a prescribing doctor for some meds.

With just $6.00 and no electricity in the shed it is shaping up to be a very quiet, very slow New Years Eve, and Day. I have no real interest in any partying, but would like to find a nice and calm place to hang out with some likeminded folks or even alone.

Okay...I'm done on the laptop.....
Good Afternoon;
A link;
NCHV will end homelessness among veterans by shaping public policy, educating the public, and building the capacity of service providers.


Wednesday, December 28, 2011

"Pass It On Down The Line............................"

Good Afternoon;
Well it got cold last night and windy too!
(Cold Weather Sucks...!)
When I was on the way back to the shed from the gas station about 11:30 pm. I saw a guy I have seen sleeping on the buses and trains before huddled in the scant protection of the bus shelter curled up and shivering. When I asked him if everything was ok he told me that some young punks had jumped him, slapped and shoved him around, and trashed all of his possessions, just for laughs. I asked him to wait there and went back to the shed and grabbed some of the old and too small...("wish clothes" I can't wear but never threw out, and the two thinner blankets I don't need anymore since I got the quilt and new bag, and took them over to him, along with a monthly bus pass for December that someone had given me, and a bag of doughnuts I had scavenged from the Dunkin Dumpster earlier. At that point the bus pulled up and he got on to go to the subway and I went back to the shed.

After the TV battery died after watching the 2 episodes of 'The Office' and 1 of 'My Name Is Earl', I fell asleep until dawn, when I took my morning meds and went back to sleep.
I'm leaving the library now to catch the bus to the train to the light rail to meet Jenn in
Hunt Valley and then back to her place to watch the grandmonsters tonight, shower, and wash clothes. I may be back tonight after they have not killed!


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

"Yes Deer........................"

Good Evening;
Well...not really a lot to say today.
I slept comfortable but in a weird pattern last night, waking out of a sound sleep and trying to sit upright but falling back onto my back because the zipper is so damn stiff, not like the plastic one on the old bag, which does not lock and slides open when you flip the edge of the bag.

I had to trot over to the gas station bathroom about 4:45 am. in a bit of a hurry and on the way back saw the wildest thing.
I heard this clickety clack noise getting louder and louder from across Reisterstown Rd. and turned and saw a huge whitetail deer running full steam across the road, right past me only 2 feet away and up and across the Giant parking lot, across Old Ct. Rd., and then jumping over the fence into Druid Ridge Cemetery! This was wild to see, it was at least a 10 point buck, and he flew over the fence like it was not even there!

closing time......


Monday, December 26, 2011

"No Hype...Equals...No Letdown, ............... Chocolate Choo Choo, ................... Dreidels and Latkes,.................."

Good Afternoon;
Well Christmas is over.... no big letdown this year because it really didn't feel like much of anything this year. Don't know why, but a lot of folks I've talked with, in every socio-economic level, said the same thing. "It's not the weather, but it is missing something this year"

So....when I left here yesterday afternoon, I jumped on the train and went down to North Ave. with the idea of trying to sell some candy bars on the corner. My buddy Zach from Morocco was out there as usual selling flowers and  stuffed animals. He told me the police had been running people off the corner all day so I decided to pass on giving it a shot. As I was sitting on the bench at the bus stop I kept getting the 'evil eye' from cops who drove by even though all I was doing was sitting there. 

I walked back to the train and one cop followed me until I pissed off and annoyed and slipped through a shortcut he could not take his cruiser through. I was standing laughing and talking to an MTA policeman on the platform when the city cop roared around the corner, slid to a stop, and started to jump out of his car...unbuttoning his holster as he did so. He then noticed that I was chatting with a Major in the Mass Transit Administration police dept. and stopped dead in his tracks. When my friend Major ------- asked if there was a problem, he hemmed and hawed and stammered no and got back in his car and drove away. The Major began to laugh and said that most of the city cops on the street that day were 'pissed to be working, and had bugs up their asses' .

I wished him Merry Christmas and got on the BWI Thurgood Marshall airport light rail train that pulled in and rode it to the airport and then out to Hunt Valley and back. I tried to read and ended up dozing in and out instead, for a couple hours. On the last trip out from BWI I overheard a woman ask the driver where to get off for the Silver Spring Metro station on the D.C. subway system. After the driver was only able to get off at the next stop and catch the B30 bus to 'somewhere down there', another homeless guy and myself (HA!) by looking at our combined schedules and route maps, got her oriented and organized and gave her times and directions to get from BWI Business Park to Silver Spring Md. via Greenbelt subway station and the Metro.

While I was on the light rail and later on the subway I noticed the large number of homeless folks doing as I was, just killing time somewhere warm. I had a few dozen candy bars left and I ended up giving almost all of them out to people who were sitting or sleeping all bundled up with their bags arranged for both protection and anti-theft. I walked up and down the train offering chocolate bars to each of them, for many of them the only gift they would receive. When I got back to the shed and saw 11:00 pm. news footage of some of the different 'Xmas giveaways' in town and the huge crowds there, I saw what one of the men meat when I asked him if he had gone to any of them or the Xmas and Xmas eve dinners hosted by various charities, and he replied........ 

"hell no, it's a zoo.....and a feed lot..sit down, shovel it in, get peace or sense of Christmas, no chance to relax and reflect or rejoice, 
we (he traveled with a 'running buddy') are grateful for the 'care packages' of essential hygiene items and packaged food and find ourselves and a few others a private place and put together our own dinner....may be Spam sandwiches not turkey and stuffing, canned peaches not pumpkin pie, but also not gonna hafta sit around lookin grateful for a bunch of once-a-year-do-gooders tryin to burn off some guilt"

I also saw at least 3 families I know for a fact are NOT homeless, but go to every soup kitchen they can so as to save their money for dope, and sell whatever gifts or donated items they get. The 'feel good' Xmas TV clips don't always tell all. This city has loads of schemers and scammers who prey on their own needy.

Sleep was again 'warm and cuddly' with the new bag and quilt,
That and getting all my meds back in cycle makes a big difference. As I was leaving the Giant after my morning coffee/bathroom/shopping ritual I found a Starbucks card on the ground. I looked it up online and it's not registered and hasn't been used but 2 times in a year and a half, and still had $5.70 as a balance....that's just $0.30 short of 4 coffees..
..Merry Chrismahanakwanzakah to me!..

Jenn is supposed to pick me up about 7:00 pm. with the presents I have stored with her for Rachel, and drop me off at the 'exes' so I can give them to her for Chanukkah tonight. After spending a couple hours there, Jenn is picking me up and dropping me back at the shed. She says they need a sitter for the Grandmonsters on Wednesday, so I'm getting picked up that afternoon and spending the night in East Bumf.....,

Now, time for dinner......


Sunday, December 25, 2011

"Happy Chinese Food And Movie Day!...................."

Good Afternoon;
Well it's 40 minutes to close here at Starbucks and one of the barristas is putting the chairs stools on tables so they can save a whole 5 minutes when they lock the doors and finish cleaning up. Would not even mention this but when you are sitting at a table and surrounded by upended chairs......well, things like poor customer service, tacky, and childish come to mind. Especially when the manager has requested that they should wait until 10 of or so when the place is empty or nearly so.
Nice person, but....

So...last night I slept for a total of nearly 10 hours! Interrupted only once by the 'urge' around 4:10 am., when I also took the full complement on morning meds for the first time in close to a month.
It was about 1:10 am. when I looked at the time and closed my eyes for '25 minutes'....ha!, and 11:00 am. when I got up and out. 

One of the reasons I slept so good was the new, (to me), sleeping bag and huge, thick, soft, & fluffy quilt that Pauline, one of the regulars at the gas station who stop in and sit and play the Keno or Racetrax lottery games, gave to me. We had talked the night before about the deteriorating conditions of the shed and my sleeping bag's steady decay and she said she had one and a quilt that she had been planning to give someone, who no longer needed it, and would I like it. Well after a polite version of "hell yeah!!!!!!!", we made plans to meet last night.
WARM is almost inadequate to describe how comfy I was last night!
The biggest problem is figuring out how to fold and arrange everything to fit and lay!

Anyway, gotta pack up, see you tomorrow, and hope everyone has had a happy and safe holiday weekend.


Saturday, December 24, 2011

"Raw Beef And Homemade Cookies A Christmas Feast Doth Make".................

Good Afternoon;
So I'm sitting here at the coffee shop about to eat lunch/breakfast (85/15Ground beef on sale and $1.50 off at Giant....'steak tartare !!!' )and trying to watch the Ravens beat Cleveland on the portable digital TV. The problem is with digital as opposed to analog is that the signal is there or not, l or 0, on or off, so with the little magnetic antenna and the thick brick and stone walls of the old mill, and all the moving people here, I'm having trouble keeping the reception constant. Window seat is open....gonna slip over and check that out.

Nice, good as cable in this spot!

Well I stopped at RiteAid and my scripts were ready and waiting and I downed the BP pill then and there, and  the others a bit later when I got some water to wash them down. I can already feel the difference, and the diuretic in the BP meds is working quite well...maybe TOO!

Tom stopped by with a bucket of Jenn's homemade cookies, some clothes that washed for me, my travel mug, and a Chankkah/Xmas gift from them and the kids.
"Ones size fits all, always in season, always!"

They close here at 6:00 pm. and unless someone comes up with a better offer, it's ride the trains until it's time to try to sleep. 
I miss the electricity in the shed..  :-(
Even though there's no heat, with light it seems warmer someow.

Back before I leave at 6:00 pm.....


Friday, December 23, 2011

"Doctor Love's Traveling Salvation Show....................."

Good Evening;
Well I slept last night, rain and all, even having to get up and pee 8 times between Midnight and 9:00 am. I still got some rest.
I passed out somewhere between the theme song and opening credits of "That 70s Show", and the TV played on until the battery died.

I stopped at the Library to get books to read on the train over Xmas eve and and Xmas, when I'm not here at the Starbucks.

After that I stopped at Quiznos and ate, using the rest of the balance on the gift card I was given. I went to JAI after wards arriving about 3:00 pm. and seeing the doctor about 4:45 pm. I actually watched a Dr. Phil episode, and it was actually worth watching. It was about a polygamist family in Utah that was the subject of the book "Love Times 3", and except for their choice of marriage were as 'normal' as any other typical American extended family.
Part of the reason they exposed themselves to public scrutiny was to combat the idea that all polygamists are like the sick bastard Warren Jeffs and others who abuse 14 and 12 year old girls and have incestuous relations with their own offspring.

Anyway, I spent a good 30 minutes with my doctor, who is really awesome and inspires me to want to take better care of myself and instills a feeling that I really can make changes in my life, that it's not too late.
(Whether that survives to be put into practice is where things usually fall apart.)

She sent all my prescriptions online to the RiteAid so I should have BP, reflux, and back meds by the morning.
I also got new referrals to the shrink and the addiction coordinator, (for legit source of 'bupes'), and a gentle chiding and encouragement to act on them, as opposed to browbeating and ultimatums.

As I was on the way out she turned to me and said "I hope you aren't offended by this..." and thinking she was talking about recent comments or was about to offer advice or opinion, or spiritual words, said "no, of course not".....and was left momentarily without words to further reply when she slipped a $20.00 into my hand and wished me Happy Hannukah! and expressed that she believed in me and that things would get better!
Floored doesn't begin to cover how I felt, not seeing, nor expecting anything like a gift of this nature.

Damn good thing we already discussed my tendency to 'transference' and psychological preference and need of female 'caregivers'!

Time to pack up, I'm going to be here sometime tomorrow, Xmas eve, after 10:00 am. when I am supposed to meet my son-in-law Tom and get a little cash, my Xmas/Hannukah  gift that Jenn told me to expect before I left....but the bank clearing a deposited check for them, never got the message! That should give money to eat on the rest of the year and  to get Rachel the rest of the Hannukah gift I promised her, (glitter paints and a big pad of art paper).



Thursday, December 22, 2011

"Pressure Is Rising.........Everybody Clear.....It's Gonna Blow!............."

Good Evening;
Well I'm back here at Starbucks for a bit before heading back to the shed for the first time since Jenn picked me up here on Monday night.......and of course the rain has started. 
I came down with some sort of lousy fever inducing, head pounding, sleep preventing 'bug' that lasted until late this morning. I didn't really feel "sick" as much as feeling like warmed over, then chilled down, 'crap!'
Stomach, bowels, throat, sinuses, eyes, ears, muscles, joints, glands, and a constant throbbing inside my skull, echoed by the high pitched squeal of an excited/angry/happy/bored/"insert mood here"/... 3 and 1/2 year old.
I'm still somewhat queasy, but I got a little sleep and a respite from my own private "Occupy" movement.....(the words private and movement should give you a hint as to where and what I was '!)'s closing time and I've got to pack up. I'm guessing that there is still no electricity in the shed so I'll be back tomorrow from the library or here.

And it's JAI or die tomorrow, I HAVE to get BP meds because I' don't want to try to deal with the holidays without them in this mental state......
which has me wanting to relieve the pressure with an icepick straight through the ear!


"Business! Mankind Was My Business................."

Good Afternoon:
I stumbled on this essay by chance when reading a story on the National Homelessness Vigil held in 150 cities last night. (Wed. Dec. 21st) where the names of those who died while living on the streets in the past year were read out. It was just the title, which sounded familiar, so I Googled it...and ahhh....Of course.....Jacob Marley.

Just thought I'd share it as it is fitting for the season, nothing you haven't heard before, but this is an eloquently expressed piece:

Mankind Is Our Business

By Ingid Van Mater
Last Christmas there was a new version of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol on television, starring George C. Scott as Scrooge. It was one of the finest productions of this classic I had seen, and I felt impelled once again to read the story which has been universally loved for well over a century. In Dickens' treatment of the trials, failures, and triumphs that occur in daily living, he reveals that the most important force in life is compassionate understanding of our fellow human beings.
One of the most moving statements in this Christmas tale is by Marley's Ghost when despairing over "life's opportunities misused." Scrooge, trembling with fear and beginning to share in Marley's guilt, says: "But you were always a good man of business, Jacob." Upon which the Ghost cried out in anguish:
Business! Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!
These words stand as an eloquent expression of our grand human purpose, suggesting that it is our inner thoughts and feelings, our motives, our priorities, which contribute to making our lives an emptiness or a fullness. What we are in our whole being is so much grander than anything we can measure by surface values. In Goethe's words, "We are shaped and fashioned by what we love." The "comprehensive ocean" brings to mind the vast spiritual resources in ourselves, that ocean of truth within, that we are just beginning to discover. From this standpoint our routine activities in themselves are but a "drop of water" compared to our total duty or "business" as innately caring and responsible human beings.
How easy it is to be caught in a narrow circle of thought, magnify its importance, and through such preoccupation become blinded to matters that need our full attention; or, through a mental block of prejudice or hostility, prevent a mutually happy exchange that might otherwise be possible. In the case of Jacob Marley and Ebenezer Scrooge, it was as if they had closed off all sunlight from the small, cold island of isolation each had created. Scrooge receives his first awakening when he learns from Marley's Ghost that the steel chain encumbering him -- made of cashboxes, padlocks, heavy purses and the like -- is wrought from his material and covetous thoughts. The Ghost further alerts Scrooge that he too must have acquired a chain equally if not more ponderous. We do indeed forge of our own free will every link in the chain of effects that binds us to this earth, and only we can lessen the burden as we awaken to the needs of others with greater sensitivity and understanding. This is part of the evolutionary process we are continuously undergoing.
The genius of Dickens lies in dramatizing Scrooge's gradual inner transformation through the exchange of observations and questionings with Marley's Ghost and the Spirits of Christmas Past, Present, and To Come. The characteristics of these all-wise Spirits resemble in certain respects the experiences some undergo in intense crises. Sometimes when Scrooge reacts to a situation, the light of the Spirit in attendance grows brighter, as when he feels nostalgia for his "former self" of his youthful days before the girl he loved was displaced by his love of gold, and when with Mr. Fezziwig he was helpful and happy in his work, and entertained "nobler aspirations." The three Spirits visit Scrooge in turn and show him his past, what he is building in the present, and the bleak and friendless future ahead of him if he continues in the direction he is going. He is reminded often of lost opportunities to show charity and love; for instance, for the Cratchit family who so courageously face their deprivations and Tiny Tim's frailty, while the warmth and joy of family sharing more than compensate for their troubles and the leanness of their holiday feast. He is deeply touched by Tiny Tim and asks the Ghost of Christmas Present "with an interest he never felt before," if Tiny Tim will live. "Not if these shadows remain unaltered by the Future," is the answer he receives. He visits everywhere with this Spirit: in almshouses, hospitals, jails; "in misery's every refuge," learning as he goes. Scrooge's conscience is gradually aroused, and his bitterness toward life becomes transmuted into understanding. Aware that people's courses will determine "certain ends," he begs the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come to allow him to change the shadows of the future by a changed life: "Hear me! I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse. . . . I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all three shall strive within me." And as Scrooge said these words, the Spirit's "kind hand trembled."
The crowning point is, of course, Scrooge's triumph. He makes good his promises, helps the Cratchit family and others in need, and he and Tiny Tim become the best of friends. From this moment he sees everything with new eyes for his heart is filled with joy, and wherever he goes on the familiar streets he derives particular pleasure especially on Christmas day!
A Christmas Carol arouses our sympathies and gives hope for humankind. It belongs to this sacred birthtime of the year, a time of beginnings and opportunities, when all things -- and people too -- are touched by the tide of renewal. As Scrooge's nephew said when his uncle formerly dismissed Christmas and its joyous significance with the words, Bah! Humbug!:
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come around apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people . . . as if they were fellow-passengers. . . .
Although commercialized and sometimes a superficial observance, this holiday time with its mounting spirit of goodwill and open-hearted sharing is bound to have its effect in the world and on individual livesA global family of evolving souls, we are linked together, "fellow-passengers" on an endless journey toward an ever broader awareness of our responsibilities to life and to one another. Perhaps the greatest appeal of this masterpiece of Dickens lies in the intuitive perception it awakens in us that compassionate involvement with all humankind has been and will always be our "business."
(From Sunrise magazine, December 1985/January 1986; copyright © 1985 Theosophical University Press)

Still feel as if my head is about to explode, so be back ????


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

"What I Wouldn't Give For A Bucket Of NyQuil & Dilaudid And An IV Hookup.........Straight Through 'Til Spring!.................."

Good Afternoon;
Well....I am up here in Monkton and fighting off something that has me feeling like 2 bags of dead mice. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually I'm touching bottom and just trying like hell to keep my feet from being trapped in the muck. Holiday crap, worries about the 'ex' who had to go back to the ER after her surgery, and how Rachel's taking everything.  Alternating periods of 'cold sleep, no sleep, fever dreams or exhausted passing out for the last week or 10 days has got me beat. And the kids have been a handful. I'm going to try to get some hot soup or something in me and sleep some more.

Full details to follow when I emerge, probably sometime in the middle of the night....


Monday, December 19, 2011

"Hot Air & Digital Divinity.....................Another One Rides The Bus...Part...987.........."

Good Evening; far so good,
Thanks be to the holy pantheon of Digital Deities;
Saints-Virtual Visionaries-
Pascal, Babbage, Turing, Burroughs,
Cray, Disney, Spielberg, Lucas,
Gates, Jobs, Wozniak, Brin, Page,
& Zuckerberg....
(yeah Zuckerberg, someone has to fill the Judas!)

The combination of time, cold weather, (it was 27 in the shed at Midnight), and multiple applications of the hot air hand dryer at Starbucks on the keyboard while simultaneously continuously running my hands back and forth over the keys to dry out, loosen, work out, & blow out the concentrated and sugar residue under the keys and on the motherboard seems to have worked.
In fact certain things are working better, & running faster than before!

Hmmm.......patent the "coffee flush laptop tune-up"?!

So today was planned out for picking up meds from Monkee for Friday through to after the 3rd day of 2012 then going to JAI to get other meds renewed.
But thanks to both the MTA in bus and train mode, and some members in good standing of Balto. City Public School Systems F.F.A. contingent (oh...sorry that's 'Future Felons of America) on the bus that WAS on time......I'll recap the whole story later......along with the part about the incredibly stupid and arrogantly ignorant woman who took the lid off the HOT coffee she wasn't supposed to be drinking on the bus anyway and when the inevitable happened and she spilled it on her face and her arm...not once but 3 times in a row!...and started cursing the bus driver for making her spill it, (note: normal stop and go city driving in rush hour a city where a common sign that someone is pissed off because when they cut you off and you expressed your displeasure by blowing the horn while slamming on the brakes and trying not to die is to point a gun at you....shooting optional, if you are very, very lucky!!!!!!!.....), waking up the nodding out and falling over dope fiends coming from the methadone clinic who began shouting approval and affirmation with the coffee spiller........ahhhhrrgghhhhh!

Anyway, it was way too late for JAI.
I'm leaving now to meet Jenn for the ride to East Bumf...ooops,!


Sunday, December 18, 2011

"Curse You Juan Valdez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Evening;
We;l;l;......In ca;s;e a;nyone wa;s wondering......
Cof;f;ee s;p;il;led on the k;eyboa;rd;......
NOT!!!!!!!!!! A; GOOD; THING!



Good Evening;
We;l;l;......In ca;s;e a;nyone wa;s wondering......
Cof;f;ee s;p;il;led on the k;eyboa;rd;......
NOT!!!!!!!!!! A; GOOD; THING!


Saturday, December 17, 2011

"C.W.S.!! ..=.. Iteration 13,297 ... Space Invaders Needing Odor Eaters .... Dr Frankenstein's Easy Bake Oven .... C.W.S.!! ..=.. Iteration 13,298.."

Good Evening;
Well it's freaking cold and getting colder tonight!
Last night was pretty cold too, around and hour and a half before dawn when I was given the old familiar...
"I've been giving you fair warning for an hour or more....but you just laid there....either get up.....NOW!......OR ELSE!"
....ultimatum from my bladder. Once I fought my way awake and out of the tangled ruins of the sleeping bag, it was near impossible to get warm and back to sleep for coinciding periods.
Then the zipper on the side of the bag decides to separate and slowly open in stealth mode from mid chest to calf. so when I roll over I'm not only exposed and cold, when I move to roll over and get out different parts of my body seek different openings and standing up resulted in sitting back down...on my face!....owwwwww!

I eventually gave up trying to nap and got up, dressed in fresh but cold clothes and wandered over to the Giant and killed an hour and a half just goofing off in the store. After that, the bus to train, to train, to here at the coffee shop. It has been chilling down all day, and every time the door opens I get a colder and colder blast of air.

Which is a good thing right now! There is a couple to my right, decently dressed in clean looking clothes, using a laptop on what looks like college studies, at a graduate level, and speaking what sounds like a combination of French and ???? a Mediterranean language from the Asian side of the lake.
Now, I really don't care where you come from, but damn, if you are going to live here learn about the American cultural norms. Everyone is always crying about diversity and Americans trashing other cultures in other lands, but if you are here, and you are going to come into a place where food and drink is served, and there are communal tables.....
and you are NOT homeless and unable to do so....(HA!!!)
.....then follow our customs and freakin' wash your body and your ass!
Don't dump gallons of cheap-ass perfume on yourselves, man and woman!, so you reek double strength and flavored, and twice as bad!
The fact that the whole damn room got up and moved away should tell you something!

Thank goodness I'm 'upwind' o' them and 'downwind o' the door!

And for all those fainting at my lack of PC.....sorry, it goes for Americans of all stripes too. Now I'm gonna piss you all off again, but I don't care, because except for certain days when the temps breached the 100+ mark.....I managed not to exude a funk that could be smelt from 8 feet away.....UPWIND!

(And shoot me but I think 'foreign funk' is worse, and I've sampled, prison, ghetto, junkie, and jail funk of Americans!)

Rant over!

I'll be back here tomorrow afternoon, at some point, unless I can find someplace else to crash tonight and not have to leave until after the Raven's game tomorrow night,......if!

Monday I HAVE to get to JAI, ...NO EXCUSES..... my BP is starting to bug me....even though hypertension is known as "The Silent Killer", there are symptoms to look for that can be recognized from person to person, if you are aware that you have prior knowledge of your condition.
On me, it's the edema and pain in my ankles, (separate from the joint issues), and the sometimes throbbing and pounding in that chunk of tissue that grows back and acts as a shield or baffle over the ear canal, you know what I mean, don't know what it's called but everytime you see someone with a piecing there, as opposed to the lobe or 'shell', you

Monday night Jenn is picking me up here at closing and dragging me back to East Bumfuc....I mean Monkton to act as a distraction and run interference between her and Devin so she can get some baking done.......with "help" from tiny fingers.....and "secret" additions to the batter if Jenn turns her
Yeah well, we all know that it's not much of a stretch for me to work on 3 year old's!
I think I'm gonna make her get some extra ingredients to double the yield and leave us a batch to make our own "creations"......
Sugar cookie dough, food coloring, toys as cookie cutters....
and me and a 3 year old in the kitchen...
'Zombie-princess-kitten-elves' anyone!


Ooooh, sweet stuff to go.....Thanks 'Ant'Knee'
Lemon squares and Banana Chocolate Chip cake intercepted
on the way to the garbage can.
Carbo-load for the shivers if needed tonight...
34 degrees now, feels like 31
low of 30, feeling like 27, tonight and tomorrow night
High of 41, feeling like 35 tomorrow



"What He Said!!!------.........."Sacramento Homeless blog: The Big Picture (The good, the bad and the ugly in...

Good Afternoon; This is a link to a Left Coast Homeless blogger I just started reading, and a really good and extremely eloquent post on the perception vs. the reality of homogeneity in the Homeless population:
Sacramento Homeless blog: The Big Picture (The good, the bad and the ugly in...: If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? -- William Shakespeare, Merchant of V...

Well written and thought provoking.


Friday, December 16, 2011

"Winter season..........AKA............CWS!.................."

Good Morning;
A pictorial illustration, via a link;
for those not sure what I mean I state:



Thursday, December 15, 2011

"....'Into The Woods'..............Hearts And Minds.............Better Living Through Chemistry............"

Good Evening;
Just an --- "Alive And Well" --- mini update.
Here in East Bumfuc.... I mean Monkton until sometime tomorrow, (Friday). I've been here at Jenn's since Wednesday afternoon, to watch the grandmonsters last night and tonight and just have been kicking back.

Tuesday Michelle came over to Starbucks and we spent all evening with our heads together talking and discussing, sharing, and comparing ideas and posts from our poetry, our blogs and one she was invited to 'guest author' a post on.......among other more intimate things.

I'm so tired I can hardly type, so I'll see you again, most likely, from the coffee shop tomorrow evening.

Rachel's mom, the 'ex', went in for some scheduled surgery yesterday, and though it was pretty serious, all went well. I spoke with Rachel last night, and she will be over at 'bubbies' (maternal grandmother), through the weekend, so our plans to hang out again may be postponed. I am going to be over here again Monday night through Wednesday afternoon of next week, so when Jenn drops me off Rachel should be home and I'll stop by with her Chanukah presents for the second night's candle lighting.
I talked to her mom today and she was nicely free of pain, worry, or connection to reality....her response to "How Do You Feel?" was......a smiley slurred...."Dilaudid Works!)........LMAO!


Monday, December 12, 2011

"Suit Up! ........Battery Back-up ............ 'Do The Litter Box' & Shrimp For The Shrimp ...............Gossamer Threads .............."

Good Afternoon;

Well, one good thing about the lack of electricity.....I'm limited to the 2 hour battery life of the TV and no laptop...(a '5 minute battery') when I CAN get to sleep, I don't waste the opportunity by being up all!

Last night was colder than the night before, and much more comfortable for me. Sounds like a contradiction, but it's just preparation.
I put the sweat pants, (my older thinner pair, not the Old Navy pair I recently realized I had stashed in a bag of stuff Allen [whom I have neither seen nor heard from in many months, and have not been able to contact, by text, phone, or e-mail, and have a really bad feeling about, considering the medical challenges he went through and was still facing],...had given me, over a year and a half ago, and I had forgotten about that are really thick.), over my jeans, old loose socks over the already warm socks I had on, and wore the already warm heavy sweat shirt I was wearing, and slipped into the cold, cold bag....after lying on top for a few minutes to take to warm it up. I pulled the hood of the bag out from under the pillow for the first time since last winter and even though the drawstring is out, it still wraps around my head....mostly. I purposely jammed the zipper with the fabric of the interior of the bag where it is ripped, at he top of it's run and pulled the drawstring around the shoulders tight around my neck. OF course I immediately needed to pee as soon as I was bundled in....must be a vestige of childhood and!
Except for spotty 'cold zones' that were much smaller than yesterday and easily remedied by a quick half asleep adjustment, I slept warm and for multi-hour time periods for the first time in a couple of months of a variety of types of insomnia ranging from certain of my meds too late in the evening, caffeine overload, musculoskeletal issues, anxiety over whether the roof of the shed was going to start leaking over where I slept, (only one, easily diverted drip in the 8 or so days the end of last and beginning of this month where we had either extreme or extended 'rain events' as the TV weather folks call them now), cable TV availability, really good book addiction, or recliner rejection/crazy cat demolition derby at Jenn's new place......whatever reasons were applicable, sleep has been a rare and precious!

After getting up at 10:00 am. and puttering around the Giant for a while I spent a good 2 & 1/2 hours waiting for MTA buses which never showed up......5, that's FIVE!, different routes had 'skipped runs' where the bus scheduled for that time never showed....not late....NOT there!
More time than actually spent traveling on 2 buses to get here to the coffee shop.

Tonight I am meeting a friend of Jenn's after their HG and going to the food store with her to trade the gift card I have for some needed cash to settle a debt tomorrow. After that she is going to drop me at the shed so I won't get to see whether the buses tonight as still as screwed up. Whether it was driver's all with the 'Monday flu'-'Raven's won hangover', or some sort of work slowdown/protest, I don't know yet. I'll see one on my 'anonymous' sources on one route or another later this week who will clue me in though.

Also tomorrow, I'm heading down to JAI about mid-afternoon to get 3 of 4 prescriptions renewed that have run out. Last night I had what seemed to be coincidental but nearly simultaneous gall bladder/pancreas 'attacks'/pain incidents and an almost crippling case of heartburn/indigestion, just as I was laying down and leaning forward to zip up the bag after getting up to pee.
Short but intense, and if I had not gone through it before and did not know how to deal with it with the meds at my disposal then and would have been very frightening. Even though the meds I had were not specifically designated for the problem, side effects I am familiar with are able to treat/attack the symptoms....quickly. Enough so that I fell back asleep within the hour. But as is said....better prevention than cure....sooo,
'Hello waiting room'....not to mention having all the drug dealers in the 'hood' I need to walk through to get there either bum rush me as a potential customer.....or avoid me like the plague as a possible 'knocker'

Just a mention of Saturday.....
Rachel and I saw "Puss In Boots" at the movies, the $6.00 10:35 am. show, and loved it! It's from the "Shrek" people and is filled with multi-level jokes and gags, and sight gags. Antonio Banderas and Selma Hayek are the lead voices, Puss and 'Kitty SoftPaws', and their chemistry is as good as it is in the "Desperado" series of movies.

And the Previews and Coming Attractions!!!!!!
"Tin Tin"!......"Return To Mysterious Island"!!......."The Lorax"!!!!
I can't freakin' wait!!!!

We went to, where, Starbucks afterwards for hot chocolate and computer time..."".....(hours...........oy!.....LOL!). She wanted to go over to Whole Foods and get lunch and of course the budding gourmet?...gourmand?..., saw the 3 types of shrimp in the prepared foods case, breaded & fried, (mehhhh.....never again cold), 'pesto', and 'garlic,lemon, parsley'...both of which were wonderful......THE TINY LITTLE TASTES I GOT OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........LOL!
The nice thing is that she also, on her own accord, headed over to the salad bar to get some fresh veggies...and some tuna pasta, and she ate MY "Pasta with, Sundried Tomatoes, Garlic, Parmesan, and Chicken" also....I did get most of that!

And now, it's time to eat, I've made my self hungry and still have some food from Giant saved for dinner.

I know I don't sound like it but I'm teetering on the edge of another depression cycle, and after tomorrow am going to be basically broke and out of food until the end of the month. Now I've put money tightly away for Rachel's Chanukah gift(s), either one 'larger' (relatively that is), or a couple 'dollar store type', depending on her desires and the plans of her mother and grandparents....(THEY have the bucks, so if I don't have to, and can't compete......'quantity' works for me.).
And meds will be paid for, and laundry at Jenn's at least 2 more different weeks this month, along with whatever 'care packages' of food I leave with will see me through, and there is always the chocolate bars and the corner, so I'm not as bad as I have been...or as, in other years.......I'll get by.
But the build-up, hype, and sudden drop and let down.....and/or 'crash & burn' related to Xmas and NYE is always a stone bitch to deal with, especially homeless, broke, and more than anything else.....alone.
So the unreasonably mellow glow I'm feeling is a twist.
I can pinpoint it to a meeting for coffee and conversation last week with Michelle, agreed to previously as 'date TBD', and re-initiated by a text from me. And even more so to a single text on Saturday when I was on the train here with Rachel, and asking if I was at the coffee shop and did I want to meet?
Time, distance, and transportation and communication glitches prevented us from doing so, but the glow still exists, though fading.
Among almost all, 99%, of the people who I call friends, the ones who are actually happy to get a call and wanting, willing, or able to come out if invited.......I am almost always the one to suggest, invite, or initiate said happening.
So it was particularly pleasing and gratifying to have someone who I not only care for deeply as a treasured friend, but don't get to see enough, and
who..well buy my book of poetry and unless you're blind or stupid my "true feelings" are about as hidden as Santa at a Chassidic Chanukah!, contact me.
Which is something I do really miss, 'getting' a (personal) phone call (or text or e-mail or FB msg.) for a change that isn't in reference to a negative event as related to a friend, relative, or former lover.
(Notwithstanding, the calls from Jenn, or Rachel...etc.)

Anyway, as thin and delicate thread as it may be, THAT is keeping me on this side of the old yin/yang divide leading to the abyss.


P.S. Even though last night was warm enough, the double clothing is not always a viable option, due to wetness, cleanliness, odor, and just the sheer lack of available clean clothing I own vs. laundry opportunities.

The "Blanket Request" (I love puns...LOL!) for quilts etc. is still open.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

'Quilts, Comforters, And Warm Woolie Blankies Wanted..................................... C.W.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!...................."!

Good Evening;
So..last night was friggin' cold.....28 degrees with a 'feel' of 23 degrees.
In case anyone has forgotten my opinions on this;
Feel free to quote
My feet were always on the edge of painful, even when they warmed up the aftereffects still hurt! I could not get warm everywhere all at once.
I was in and out of sleep all night and up and down having to pee, 5 times...4 of them having to step outside into the cold because of a full 'container' indoors.
The leather of my shoes was damn near frozen stiff.
Then the 'self repairing zipper' decided it had worked long enough and retired. Each time I was in or out it was a pain in the ass to fix it again, and 1/4 of the time popped open in the middle of it's length....arrrgghhhhh!

I'm in the market for a donated quilt or blanket if anyone has extras, preferably, large and thick, king, queen, or at least full size.

Today I wanted to go to the library, which opened at 1;00 pm., so I stayed wrapped up as much as I could until 12:30 pm trying to stay warm and sleep more than 45 minutes at a stretch.

Starbucks and the Ravens game on the portable TV, and now the bus back to Pikesville....


Saturday, December 10, 2011

"I Coulda' Used Twitter For This.......If I Had It....LOL!................................"

Good Evening;
Well....AWESOME day with Rachel.....still no electricity in shed....too DAMN cold to sit outside tonight at library....see you tomorrow.


Friday, December 9, 2011

"And Then Some Assholes Have Me Back In Doubt ....And I'm Hopeful Again .....And Then Back To The Stone Age Again Due To 2 More Wastes Of Oxygen....""

Good Afternoon;
Well my restored faith was pretty short lived last night. First on the Light Rail I got to listen to the racist redneck rantings of a half a dozen 20 something, Aryan Nation wannabes/FPBA, (Future Prison 'Bitches' of America), on their way back from a 'boosting' spree for crystal meth, PCP, & heroin money..(their words)..from stores along the route of the "Rob'n Ride'. They were being loud and abusive towards a group of what looked like first year college girls, [very young, very diverse in ethnic make up, and very removed from, ever having dealt with scum from the gutter like these], crudely hitting on the white girls and making derogatory and thinly veiled sexually violent allusions towards the 2 Asian and 3 Middle Eastern girls, one of whom was wearing the minimal headscarf worn by liberal Muslim women that is much as a fashion item as a religious one.

The girls were getting visibly nervous and I was debating whether getting involved with the odds what they were and the likelihood of unseen weapons when these 2 older white homeless guys (who I've seen enough for us to acknowedge each other's presence with a nod), who had been sleeping in the seats beside the center doors of the train, (2 seats on either side of the aisle that are somewhat isolated and removed from the main body of seats), get up as the train pulls into the next stop and walk over and stand above the group of assholes, and tell them, "This is your stop, get the f*ck off". Two of the scumbags start to rise up, reaching into their pockets, and I stand up and begin to walk over, when the old guy who spoke looks at me, and shakes his head and says "We got this.....they're ours", and I sat down. The other guy meanwhile reached out with his cane and caught the loudest, biggest, nastiest piece of shit on the back of the neck, pulling him forehead first into the stainless steel upright pole on the end of the seat, and cracks the other one reaching for his pocket on the point of the elbow, so hard and loud MY arm Then they started jabbing all of them with their canes shouting, 'off, off, now, now', and other choice phrases, as the rest of the car laughed as the 6 fools fell over one another down the steps of the exit, landing in a heap on the plat form and getting up and running away when these guys who had to be in their 60s at least made as if to come after them.
They asked the girls if they were OK and went back to their seats and gathered their bags, as I was gathering mine and got off the next stop same as I did, but for different reasons....just in case the cameras in the train car were working, (a 50/50 shot with the MTA), they wanted to be long gone. They thanked me for starting to come help but said they had been looking for this group for a while for personal reasons...and when I remarked that they let them get off easy...they laughed and showed me some modifications to the handles and bottoms of their canes.......yeah, I saw what they meant! Sticks and stones indeed! As we parted company I saw the first man pull up his sleeve and noticed his tattoo. The noticed me looking and grinned and the second man nodded to say, me too. So with a brisk "Semper Fi", and an abbreviated salute I said farewell and caught my bus. Next time I see these guys, and it came to me that where I had first seen them had been on a bitter cold January night about 3 years ago at the M.C.V.E.T.S. (Md. Center for Veterans Education & Training Shelter), I am going to try to draw out their story.
And I can't swear to it but as I passed the North Ave. L.R. stop I saw the group of fascist bastards being hassled by a group of their "opposite numbers" from the hood as 2 police cars with blue and red lights flashing sped in to the entry can only wish to be a fly on the wall as they tried to explain away the mass quantities of popular street salable merchandise in their possession with no receipts.....and as Gollum wondered about Bilbo.....I'd be curious to know...."What has it got in it's pockets"....and how it was explained to the cops also......LOL!

So the rest of my detoured trip back was uneventful until I got on the Metro Subway and got stuck on a car as the only white guy on a car full of genuine 'thugs' (it was a single car train and the doors had shut before I, not very wisely I admit, took a good look at my surroundings....ulp!), playing gangsta rap at full volume and smoking Newports and 'blunts' openly. As the muttering began, after a minute of tense silence, the train luckily was between 2 very close stations and the 'crew' was pretty well stoned close to immobility, the doors opened and at the last second I ducked out just as they closed and locked!

Taking a closer look I took the next train and before I got off checked the platform for threats. I ran into a familiar regular rider and one of our regular drivers on the bus to Pikesville and related the story of the smoky car and the bus driver said he had heard a radio call for the Metro Police to meet the train a bit further down the line.

After stopping in the Giant and the gas station I went into the shed. The door seemed 'loose' on it's hinges and chain lock and when I got inside and reached to turn on the light, all I got was a 'click'. Dead bulb I thought, while having a feeling of...."No it isssnnn'ttt.....", and after trying a new bulb, checking the connection of the cord, and checking the extension cord in the outside socket, and just to be sure plugging the fan in outside.....ALL Nada!
I noticed the top 'cap/door' of the weatherproof outside receptacle was opened, not closed as usual, and as I shone my little flashlight around signs that someone has been hanging out under the carport. I hurried to the Giant to get 'D' batteries for my regular size flashlight and with it's more powerful beam checked the surrounding area.
Oh lovely, stolen empty cases and (HA!) anti-theft devices from a couple of porno DVDs, (and cheap, nasty, sleazy, low budget ones at that!), and a half pint of Jack Daniels and a couple of "40s" of malt liquor, all empty and a couple of empty cigarette boxes and the tobacco dumped from a cheap flavored cigar, (to get the wrapper leaves for a 'blunt) scattered about...simply f*ckin' lovely. The whole outdoor socket was loose and the face plate had a gap in it. Now what I figure is that the assholes either forced the plug from their portable DVD player in there, shorting out the wires inside the junction box, yanked it out hard with the same result, or allowed water inside and shorted it out, any of which would, hopefully, trip the circuit breaker in the breaker box....somewhere inside the locked office building! was a quick sandwich by flashlight after I quickly changed into sweatpants and sleeping sweatshirt and set up the sleeping bag and blankets....after double checking all my locking and security measures.
It was a cold night and between the ache in my foot from a lingering attack of gout the night before at Jenn's, a lingering runny nose exacerbated by the cold air, a sleeping bag with a zipper that will no longer 'lock' at the top end of it's track, but keeps opening as I move, indigestion and a regular reaching out for the Tums, and the reasonable paranoia after having my 'home' violated and vandalized......sleep was long in coming, short in duration, interrupted by an urgent and impossible to put off run to the gas station about 4:00 am., then starting at every voice I heard pass by once it got light, (I was hoping to catch the gentleman from Harview Roofing if he happened to come by again, both to thank him for the Quiznos card, and ask him to check the breaker....(discreetly if I was in and out over and over again until I must have fallen asleep just before 9:30 am., which I had actually chosen as time to get up and out, and woke up, dressed and left there about 11:15 am., still tired.

After using the bathroom at the Giant, (nerves?), a few times while shopping, I ended up here at Starbucks about 1:30 pm., (I was in no mood to put up with the waiting room at JAI today). I ran into my friend Stewart, (picture the words..'softspoken little old man'.. and you will have a and we talked for a few hours before I had to eat or pass out. Then I turned on the computer.....and it's 6:30 pm. already!

I may be on again before I power in the shed and no battery life on this laptop....which reminds me I got so caught up in things and the weather that I have not talked to Eric since I dropped off the [s]laptop!