Friday, October 28, 2011

"Damn I Miss The VAIO!..................And...................Cold Weather Sucks!........................And...................Bust A Move............

Good Afternoon;'s been a couple days since I was last on computer,

I miss the VAIO!

Between running around, the Ice Show, library hours, not being at Jenn's apartment at the same time their laptop is either there or free for use, and not having heard from Erik yet about loking at my I said....

I Miss The VAIO!

Okay.....who the hell turned the celestial thermostat down! It was actually COLD last night. For the record.. I am NOT a happy camper! It's not even Halloween yet and there is a possibility of SNOW on Saturday night/Sunday morning, this is turning out to be one really messed up year. Blizzards...Floods...Multiple 100+ Degree Days...Hurricanes...More Flooding..........and now Snow in October?

This is Baltimore, Maryland....NOT California........who's in charge and where do I file a complaint!

So... I left here Tuesday and went to Jenn's to watch the grandmonsters and spent the night. I had a really bad night trying to sleep, between what seems to be increasingly frequent pain and spasms in the area of the gallbladder and straining or pulling a muscle(s) in the same area when I made an ill considered, off balance grab for one of the kittens who was headed into the 'terra incognita'/ 'no mans land' of piled and jumbled boxes and assorted crap under the dining room table. He could of holed up and held out in there for hours!, it hurts to laugh).

On Wednesday after I washed clothes and showered I headed over to Starbucks in Mt. Washington about 1:30 pm. to give Jenn some space to continue packing and to wait for Rachel. I met her at the Light Rail stop when she was dropped of at 6:30 pm. by her mother and we took the train down to the First Mariner Arena. we got there about 7:05. pm. and got in side and seated around 7:20 pm.. Our seats were fairly good, at the top of the middle concourse one row from the wall and on the aisle....which was a good thing because one of the seats was bent and twisted with the sides/armrests pushed in towards one another. I ended up standing and leaning against a pillar, on and off, for about half the show because the seat was too narrow and we could not switch seats because she could not see past the heads of the people in front of us from the tighter big deal though, the seats are not that comfy anyway. The only real annoyance was the idiot father of the little girl next to Rachel, who bough the child a spinning, whirring, BLINKING!, blindingly bright $18.oo (worth $2:00 at the dollar store!) toy. She, and she was younger than Rachel, kept it clutched in her right hand with her finger on the switch/trigger for 90% of the 100 minute show. It was below and to the right of her line of vision and she did not look at it for more than 3 or 4 times the whole damn show. I was able to get Rachel situated so that she was mostly forward of the distractingly bright light from the LED bulbs for most for the show, but the constant whir-clackety-clack in the background had me wanting to grab it and heave it into the audience. Other than that minor annoyance we had a great time. It turned out Tom took devin to the show too, buying his ticket at the box office just before the show.....and getting better seats! When I went down 2 weeks earlier our seats were suppposed to be the best left, and they were not bad seats...but...!

Just another example of why almost everyone hates Ticketmaster and their unfair system.

We did not see Tom and Devin though they could see us, (knowing where to look), with my standing up making it much easier. We took the train back to Mt. Washingon and after her mother picked her up I took the bus back to Jenn's, (missing one by seconds and having to wait 45 minutes for the next one) to spend the night. Which went a bit better, though still not great sleeping.

Thursday I watched Devin while Tom took Ed to school and was out and Jenn had a doctor's appt. After showering I rolled out about 2:30 pm. and went over to the coffee shop.

I left there at 9:00 pm. at close and caught the bus back to the Plaza Metro station to wait for the #59 up to the shed. When I left Jenn's it was warm and humid with a cold front about to pass over, when I got to the coffee shop it had started to rain and cool off, as I waited for the bus 'home' to the shed I ended up standing in the glass walled elevator watching for the bus to come around the corner. I was out of the wind and much warmer, (and the funk from all the ghetto morons who pee in there was lessened by a recent washing and bleaching), it was windy as hell and starting to get colder and I was still wearing the shorts I had on at Jenn's. I had long pants but they were in the shed.

Last night was the first truly cold night since last spring, I wore sweat pants and cinched the sleeping bag tight around the shoulders. My nose got cold a couple times last night, as did my feet, so I took the light blanket I had and threw it over me. It was too short so I ended up alternating covering my self from chest to feet and from head to!

It is time to take the heavy blanket out from under me and wash it, (and the sleeping bag), and create the 'human taco bedroll' again. If it warms back up...which it should...hopefully...I can always just flip it off me and roll it up beside me until needed again.

Well time is almost up and I need to go eat something. Tonight after I leave the coffee shop I'll be stopping at Jenn and getting her keys so I can get into the apartment for one last wash of clothes before they leave...they have to be out by try to compact my belongings even more if I can. I'm going to go through everything while they are out at the memorial service for Tom's cousin.

(If you missed the post..he was found dead in his car from a gunshot wound..[self inflicted] West Virginia. It's been one hell of a year for Tom, as relates to losing friends and family.) Monkee said I can store everything there for a couple weeks and Jenn is going to haul it all over for me on Sunday.

I guess I'm done, and I've used up all my allowable computer time here at the library...

Damn I miss the VAIO! I guess I'll be back on Monday the way things look, timewise.


P.S....I cannot figure out why the spacing is getting all f*cked up again....sorry.

And.....may thanks to Rosalie, an old school chum from 45 years ago who stumbled on the blog and just purchased a copy of "Talespinner"...I hope you enjoy it!

Also...Voting for the Mobbies, the Baltimore Sunpapers blog contest starts on the 31st of October, Vote Early and Vote Often, (one a day is allowed), in the Personal category is where you'll find my little

"Exercise in Exorcism" know as:
"HomeLessCide-Life On The Street"


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

" Das Boots..........The Remake..............."

Good Afternoon;

So I'm back at the library for the second time today. I had not realized how much I had begun to communicate with certain people via the Internet until I had been without the laptop for a couple days.

So this morning I was up at 6:30 am...and punched the snooze button until

7:00 then over to the Giant for coffee and washing up. I was on the bus to D.S.S by 8:00 am. and signed in there by 8:20 am. Amazingly I was sitting in a room with half a dozen people by 9:00 am., all of us having our 're-con' redetermination papers checked and verified..(HA! we'll see about that on the next time I get sent some paperwork from them......I have been listed as 'African-American' for 3 years and have submitted at least a dozen forms that ask me to confirm my data...correcting it to 'White' each time, with no changes being made. I need to go to Social Security now and bring back paperwork on the status of my case which is still 'pending, as far as I know. I was out of there at 9:15 am and still can't believe it!!

I went over to the bus stop and was at the library by 9:45 am. checking on the address of SRI Shoe Warehouse in Reisterstown and bus schedules and connecting times of the #59 & #56 buses.

I went out to the bus stop at 10:05 am. to catch the # 59 that was supposed to leave the Plaza Metro station at 10:02 am., arriving here at 10:15 am. Well, after 40 minutes I assumed it was not coming and started looking for the next bus due at 10:50 am. It arrived a few minutes late, and it was jammed to the max with passengers who also were waiting for the earlier bus. This is a big issue with the MTA....NO NOTIFICATIONS!!!!....either at the stops where the bus is supposed to start it's run, or on the MTA Transit Hotline so people could be aware of major delays or cancellations of a run.

Anyway I made it out to SRI, which is quite a nice little hike from the road, and wandered around looking. After going through all the boots displayed I left dejected and emptyhanded. While the selection of major name brands was excellent, and the discounts were very generous......they were way beyond my price range.....$59.99 being the lowest priced boot I saw.

After another nice stroll on a beautiful fall day I caught the bus headed back from Reisterstown and got off at the Walmart in Owings Mills.

After another hike I hit the shoe department and planted my self in the boot aisle.

After finally decoding the heiroglyphics and determining which boot was what style and at what price I could at last look at sizes. Of course there were a minimal number of 10 & 1/2 and 11 boots in stock. The styles I could afford were cut too small in the 10 & 1/2 boots and there were no 'wide' or 'extra wide' to try. In the size 11 range the one perfect boot, in size, fit, style, color, and price.......was a Right boot in a box with a size 10 Left boot.....aauugghhhh!!!!

Half of the size 11s in styles that I liked and could afford were steel toed, which I do not want for a couple reasons. One being, that when they get cold and wet, which they will having to walk to and wait on bus stops, my problem with cold feet and poor circulation contraindicates steel toes.......they may be nasty looking from the athletes foot and nail fungi....but they are the only toes I've got. Frostbite is no joke!

There was one pair of size 11 'hikers' I would have loved to have....if I could have afforded 2 pair, but between the lugged soles and the too much like a sneaker 'look', and the price, I had to say no.

I ended up with a pair of 11 'extra wides' that mostly fit....I really wanted a plain wide, or a medium to compare them to, but nothing in that style except a 10 & 1/2 was even close. I also bought needed socks, (underwear will have to wait another few weeks), and got the (supposedly) thicker, 'comfort sole' as a way to take up some of the 'slop' in the shoe as it stretches. And if push come to shove....two pair of socks should do the job. The shoes are leather uppers this time, not the 'man made materials' mystery substance that the Target boots were made of. There was a pair of $19.99 boots that resembled them, also 'man made', but "once bitten twice shy".

In any case these are still better than the ones I've been wearing and I'll work around the 'less than perfection' elements.

They're, 'butter yellow' like Timberlands, with a beige sole and medium lugs, and as I said, leather uppers. They're good enough for every day and if kept reasonably clean, will pass muster as a semi-formal dress shoe with long pants...(which I'm still resisting long as I can!!!!).

Anyway, I've got to head over to Jenn's soon to monstersit and get myself something to eat. Today's 'brunch' of; half a chicken sandwich, a cup of coffee, 3 semi-fake (Palmer) chocolate bars...(Love their chocolate...Think Easter Bunny's Ears!....LOL!)...and a beer and the remainder of a bag of Grandma Utz's Homestyle potato chips, (hand cooked in lard!!....uuummmmmm!), may have been mouth pleasing....but not too!

I also want to get in a long hot shower, all the walking has got my back and leg spasming like I got hit by a Taser. I've also had an increasingly painful feeling that starts under my right ribcage, curves around to my back and reaches up to my shoulder blade. with the swelling in my right upper abdomen...I'm thinking it may be, and hoping it's not, more complications with the gall bladder.

Times Up


Monday, October 24, 2011

"Mob Rule.............Jump Back Jack.............&................Here's The Beef!............"

Good Afternoon;

Well it's time again for the Baltimore Sun's "Mobbies" Blog Awards;

If anyone feels so inclines to vote, the category is best Personal Blog


So I open the shed door this morning and start to step out and see a police car sitting in the lot by the driveway entrance up near Reisterstown Rd. First reaction is to turn forward motion into reverse motion, an automatic muscle memory response. Even after being clean for so long and not having committed any illegal acts, (other than possibly a minor trespassing charge), I still react this way when surprised by a ploice presence. Not while walking the street or encountering them in public, just the ' go around the your face' situation. I don't know if he saw me or not, I could have been in a blind spot. I decided what the hell and grabbed my bags and set them under the carport and went about threading the chain through the holes and locking up, and when I looked up again...he was gone, either getting a radio call or taking off after a speeder.

I walked over to the Giant, got coffee and washed up and bought some lunch food. After that I came over here to the library to look for more shoe store's websites.

Tomorrow after D.S.S. I'm heading up to SRI in Reisterstown to look for boots. Then I'll be at Jenn's babysitting and maybe spending the night.

Today it's over to the coffee shop and at some point stopping at Jenn's to leave most of my baggage so I won't have to deal with it going through the metal detector and searching by the rent-a-cops at D.S.S. tomorrow morning. I have to be there at 8:00 am. and stopping by to drop them off in the morning would mean getting on the first bus at 6:00 am. to make the connections needed and walk over and back to Jenn's opposed to getting on a single bus at 7:20 am. and arriving early with a bit of leeway if the bus gets tied up.

Last night I stopped in the Giant before I went into the shed and I ended up with a package of 90/10 ground beef that was marked .62 lbs., but which weighed in at 1.62 lbs. on the produce scale, reduced from $2.91 to $2.17...with a $2.00 off sticker on it. Since it was cool enough last night to keep it fresh without a 'fridge I could not resist a $0.17 deal like that. If I can I'l ask someone at the coffee shop to stick it in the fridge there for me and give it to Jenn tonight to put in her 'fridge for tomorrow......or....if I can't do's steak tartare sandwiches for breakfast today!!!!! Well I guess it's lunch by

Times up here.....


P.S....Tried the laptop after letting it sit for 2 days....still won't boot.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

" Sleeping 'Booty'......................Nope, .........Shoe Shitty..........."

Good Afternoon;

(Sorry about the spacing the computer here is acting up again)

Well I'm at the library again and it's extremely crowded with a long line for the computers, so this is going to be a short post.

Last night after I went back to Jenn's from here I washed clothes and killed time flipping channels watch half a dozen movies at once. Ones that I had already seen and liked enough times so I knew exactly where I was when I flipped back to them.

It actually became quite funny to watch and hear characters from movie say one thing and then going to the next one and hearing an unrelated, but sometimes coincidentally fitting

I left there to get the 12:30 am. bus up to the shed and fell asleep by 1:00 am. with the lights on in the middle of texting a response to Jenn on the

Talk about tired and a sleep deficit....I woke up again at 9:30 am., reduced the pressure threatening to turn the sleeping bag into a 'water bed', and fell back asleep until 10:30m am., turned the light out, and fell right back to sleep until 11:23 am., (which coincidentally, is this post's #), when back pain forced me to get up and take my meds, half late, half 30 minutes early, (nothing 'doubled up' just different schedules), which were in the bag on the top shelf, not lower down where I usually leave them so I can get to them with out getting up..(particularly the Tums, which I can take in my sleep

After I went to RiteAid to get my BP prescription, I stopped in the Giant to use the bathroom, make coffee, and wash my face. I had planned NOT to go to Giant this morning, having picked up food for today when I was in there last night before I returned to Jenn's....where I left the package of rolls that go with the lunchmeat thereby negating the whole After that I headed over here and as soon as this post is done I'm going out to enjoy the weather......still in shorts as long as I can possibly stretch it!

I'm heading over to the coffee shop and I'm going to see of Rachel is busy, if not I hope to spend a few hours with her this afternoon. If not, it's okay because we are going to the Ice Show, 'Disney Princesses On Ice' on Wednesday, and Jenn told me as she was leaving the house yesterday that she and Devin are also going, (I did not get a chance to ask if Edward and Tom are going too), so we may spend the night there at the apartment.

I forgot to tell you all about the Friday's boot shopping fiasco....

After spending Thursday night/ Friday morning before I went to sleep, (up until the (s)laptop went into dementia), searching a bunch of sites, (representing stores I could get to), for boots I decided to go to K Mart because after setting all the personal preference search options, (from size to price and everything in between), the "your store" option said that there were 3 different styles

IN STOCK!!! that met all my criteria, and 2 more that met most. So after leaving the library Friday I dropped my bags at Jenn's since I was coming back there later and walked down to the K Mart on Northern Pkwy and Wabash Ave. It took me a while because after walking more than a couple blocks I had to stop and rest, sitting if at all possible, because my back and legs started to give out. (and when I got there I had to sit on a bench with my legs elevated to reduce the swelling in my feet so that I would get the correct size and fit.) And I'm still having problems today, probably because I pushed myself by going too fast because I needed to be back at Jenn's and my window of opportunity was kind of short.

Well after searching the store I found that there were exactly 3...THREE... boots available, two 11's and a 10&1/2, and neither of them fit right....after the website said that CURRENT stock had over 17 pair in various combinations.

Neither of the 3 pair fit correctly so it was complete waste of time.

I'm never going to believe these sites again, it's not the first time I've come across radically differing quantities being listed as being there and finding it not so. Not at K Mart but Walmart and another retailer.

So....No new boots....yet.

Either Monday or Tuesday,...............

(as soon as I find the letter with the D.S.S. appointment date I'll know.)

I'm hitting some other stores.

Anyway, times up here and I really need to eat something, it's close to 4:00 pm. already.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

"So Long......................................."

Good Afternoon;

Well....I'm here at the library again. I spent last night at Jenn's watching the kids and crashed on the recliner. Not that I got much sleep, between upstairs blaring his 'Surround Sound' that was made for a much, much larger venue than a 12 x 20 foot poorly constructed and insulated apartment room, and the yowling of Mama Cat after upstairs finally went to sleep about 3:00 am., (and in the interval I fell asleep with lights and TV on for about 15 minutes, waking up when Tom came in the door).

It was about 3:30 am when he finished with lights and the bathroom, and the kitchen and went in the bedroom and I fell asleep until 5:15 am. when I woke up to use the bathroom. I never got further asleep than a doze the rest of the morning until about 10:00 am. Getting up to let the dog out, feed the animals, make coffee, use the bathroom, threaten to strangle the yowling cat......

At 10:00 am. Jenn get up to deal with the cat and Devin was up shortly afterwards, wanting out of the crib and to sit on my lap in the recliner and watch TV.

The thing that kept me awake or kept my mind spinning so that I kept waking up when I did sleep was the news Jenn told me as I walked in the house yesterday;

namely, that Tom's cousin had been found, dead in his car, on the private property of a hunting club in Great Caplan, West Virginia.

Initial reports have been understandably incomplete, but it appears to be a suicide, (and I think it may have been by gunshot, I'm not 100% sure though).

Thanks to all who took the time to go to the link and look at the picture and information posted.

He was suffering from a long term major depression from what I understand, and it got the better of him.

Having damn near been where he ended up, I can relate both to him and the thought and emotions that raged out of control in his mind...and to his family who have my condolences, thoughts , and prayers.

Too many people treat true clinical depression as simple sadness or the blues, and have no compassion, sympathy, or empathy for the victim, or undestanding of the disease. Comments like cheer up, snap out of it, get your shit together, or man up are about as useful as tits on a boar. If it was that f*ckin' easy don't you think we would have done so and that would be the end of it!?

From chemical and electrical imbalances in the brain, to physical trauma, (which can manifest itself days, weeks, months, and years later from the incident), to tumors, to deep emotional scarring in childhood or PTSD...there are many reasons and combinations of reasons for depression....

AND....why treatment can sometime take a long, long time to even show whether it will ahve any effect at all.

Ok ay..times up, closing time....


Friday, October 21, 2011

"Do Not Bend, Fold, Spindle, Or Mutilate..........The Mail.....That Is............I'm Willing!..."

Good Afternoon;

So......last night the (s)laptop became the craptop...

It must have succumbed to a form of digital Alzheimers, because a file needed to boot up Windows is MIA all of a sudden.

Time to send out a distress call to Erik of Pikesville PC.

I went to the post Office first thing this morning and put Rosalie's copy of 'Talespinner' in the mail, $2.22 to go to Pa., $0.64 of which is just to add "Do Not Bend or Fold" to the envelope.

Gotta run, times up........


Thursday, October 20, 2011

" // Media » Tablecloth Trick.........OR............How Children Become Homeless......."

Good Evening;
Watch this short, less than a minute, video.....
Whether he is a runaway or tossed out of the house by his parents...
One of these two boys is going to be homeless when the parents get home!


"89,062 To Go ..........................."

Good Evening;

A link;


"Copy-Collate-Staple-Stuff...........And......... Call For 'Mack The Knife'........................"

Good Evening;
Well..a cold front must have come through after the rain ended sometime last night. I was up at 1:51 am. to run over to the gas station to use the restroom and it had to be near 80 degrees. I had the fan on in the shed to move the air around both to cool the place and to try to do something about the humidity, it was that warm.
When I went outside about 10:00 am. it was much cooler and windy and by the time I caught the bus over to the coffee shop about 2:30 pm. it was overcast and gray.

After hitting the Giant to use the bathroom and get food for the day I went over to 'FedEx/Kinkos' and made 3 copies of my book of poetry. I then stopped at 'Staples' and got a package of mailing envelopes. I was going to stop at the Post Office here in Mt. Washington to drop a copy in the mail to a reader who remembers me from elementary school and recently contacted me after reading the blog, but.........I got involved in a conversation with a guy here about Frank Lloyd Wright, the architect, and between his slide show of 'FallingWaters' and Kentuck Knob, both about an hour or so outside of Pittsburgh, and other homes we Googled, the P.O. was closed.
(Tomorrow, Rosalie, first thing before I go anywhere.....)

I see Moamar Ghadaffi got snuffed at last, 'bout time too......but his wacky uniforms and civilian getups were a hoot, ya gotta admit.

Jenn texted me this evening asking if I could monster-sit tomorrow night as she has a sponsorship 'family' meeting to go to. After due consideration of whether I wanted to give up all the Friday night wildness and crazy fun of being the only patron at Starbucks for most of the night, I said sure, why
I had her open 2 pieces of mail that showed up for me today, 1 from D.S.S. and 1 from JAI.
Dumb-Stupid-Stupider says I did not complete my Redetermination paperwork as required....AND I'm going to lose my Medical Assistance.....well I have a time & date stamped receipt that says "Yes....I did" complete all that was given me, AND I have a face-to-face meeting scheduled for either Monday or Tuesday (the 24th or 25th) of next week! (not sure of date, but paperwork is at Jenn's so it won't get lost) !
And JAI says D.S.S. informed them that it expires as of Nov. 30th, and sats.."Contact Us IMMEDIATELY We Can Help".....(their caps.....think they are concerned about my health.....or their subsidy?).
Another SNAFU on it's way to becoming a FUBAR!

Monday......I'll deal with it Monday.....(or

I really did not need this mess at this time, when I'm still trying to get Social Security to give me a straight answer on exactly where and what my claim status is, after they never admitted not sending the forms I needed to fill out by a deadline date, but oh look, here they are in the mail 2 days after my phone call to a supervisor.....but with "current" dates instead of the date they told me it was sent out.......nothing like a half ass transparent attempt to CYA that actually indicts them!

And I also don't need this now because I'm surfing the wave on the downhill slope of the depression cycle, hoping for a short, sharp, crash and splash, and a relatively immediate climb up the back of the wave, rather than getting trapped in a long low trough for an indefinite period.

I'm about ready to surrender to the lawyers, there is no way I can deal with all the deliberate obfuscation and dishonest obstructionist people.
So....set a shark loose and get out of the way seems the best plan.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

"Low Key,...........Low Energy,.................Low Intensity,............."

Good Evening;
So.....Rain, mist, more rain.
Up and out at 10:00 am. to the Giant, coffee,
putzing around the store for an hour or so, talking to employees
& trying to figure out what I wanted to eat.
Bus, bus, a stroll through the mist to the coffee shop.
Wash up, shave, change shorts/shirt/socks;
More coffee, food, newspapers, internet, book;
shuffle, repeat;
shuffle repeat;
interspersed with conversations and unintentional speed naps.
Search online sites for boots.....find where sold in area to fit and try on first.
Walk in the rain to bus stop,
bus, 30 minute wait at Metro..(expected and planned), bus.
Giant, gas station, shed;
Read, reflect, sleep.



Good Afternoon;
A link to a commentary from 'Sojourners' magazine's website;
on the efficacy of the 'housing first' model of addressing homelessness.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"Dear God.....Please.....NO MORE Dora!!!!!!!!!!................"

Good Evening;
So after a couple of days in the company of a 3 year old girl with a twisted and creative mind.......(I'm SO proud of my granddaughter, the gene's have run true through both my daughter's and now her!!)............I'm ready for a break.
"I'm the Map...I'm the Map,.....I'm the Map....I'm the Map.....I'm the Map..............."
{I can't get it out of my head....hellllpppp mmmeeeee......}
I must say though that even though the depressive slide as I head on down to the bottom half of my cycle was not reversed, it was at a plateau for a while, and it feels as if the 'bottoming out' and 'rebound' portions may be both quicker and shorter this time. As if I now have a small 'positive balance' in my "Cosmic Karmic Savings Account" in the Last National Bank Of Nirvana, Dalai Lama Branch, Lhasa,

Anyhow, there is a bit of a buffer existing at the moment, which the weather has been a big part of. The next few day's forecast of rain will see whether it is enough.
I know one thing I have to do in the next couple of days is one of the most despised tasks that I really hate to do.....the dreaded 'clothes shopping excursion'........ughhhhhhh!
And not as bad but still no joy for me........boot/shoe shopping!
Having been 'hard to fit' all my life, and with memories of childhood shopping trips to the 'Four Sisters', (Hecht Co., Hoschild Kohn, Hutzler's, & Stewarts), in downtown Baltimore's shopping district on Howard Street, swirling around still, and also still always being somewhere 'off the edge of the chart' in one measurement or the other in clothing and shoe sizes, (and in the old days they could always do the dreaded 'alterations', which meant standing on a platform in front of a triple mirror while some old biddy or an effeminate man of questionable orientation groped and pulled and then stuck pins in me.....[but at least the clothes would fit!]...and does anyone remember Hess or Hahn shoe stores?....and 'hot' shoe stretchers and placing adhesive pads in shoes that actually came in more than one width?...), in today's 'off the rack' take it or leave it it any wonder?!

But needs prevail, and although I've held onto the cash I've been given for clothes/shoes for a few weeks will eventually begin to 'nickle and dime' itself to death if I don't use it soon. Besides I need socks and jockeys, and they are relatively painless....with no 'fittings'!
Okay I'm outta here tonight, even though I slept for about 8 & 1/2 hours, in 3 sessions, (the last one being ended by the 'ex' calling and asking if I wanted to meet Rachel and her at Mickey D's for breakfast....[sadly the timing wouldn't work :-( , and when I tried to arrange for a day with Rachel to come over and play with Devin, see the new kitties, & head out later with me, she was still a little bit sick and not up to it :-( ]...about 8:00 am.), I'm still kinda slaphappy and goofy,....{}. It's back up to see how the shed fared without me for 2 nights. I should sleep well at least as far as the temperatures go tonight, it's near perfect 'outdoor camping' weather.


"Praise The Lord.............And Pass On By The Mission........................."

Good Afternoon;
So I'm sitting in Starbucks linking my way across the Interwebs and came across this;
Having been tossed out of a mission on a cold snowy night for falling asleep in an over heated and over crowded room during a mandatory sermon/lecture and indoctrination/Q&A session after spending 2 hours standing in line outside waiting for the doors to open, (because the # of beds & mats was much less than the # of those seeking shelter, first come-first served), I can relate to a 'no strings' model of assistance.

Now not ALL religious based organizations are as petty as the mission on the corner of Central Ave. & Baltimore St., but many are.

Some may hand out literature and leave it at that, and there is every stage in between. There are some shelters and soup kitchens that are church based that read appropriate parts of their scriptures to the room at large during meals. Others that have a clergyman available if anyone wants to talk or listen to him/her voluntarily. Still others have a well connected group of personnel that can refer people to religious and secular social services. Some religious organizations such have their own 'in house' programs, and part of the agreement is attending classes or services.

But these are not 'come in out of the cold tonight' situations, but further down the line where immediate shelter in not predicated upon forced attendance and where crews of 'shoulder shakers' roam the crowd.

Anyway, I just found this site interesting and wanted to share it.

P.S...........As for my own religious views, I'm a (founding) member of the
"Interstellar Church of The Holy Trinity--Saints Larry, Moe, & Curly"
'Our Lady of Perpetual Motion' Parish

Sunday, October 16, 2011

"Eyes Of Fire.............Meaningful Assistance....................."

Good Evening;
So I got a text from Jenn this morning in answer to my text of "????????????", in regard to my unanswered query last night as to whether a shower was possible today.
She wrote back that they were leaving around 12:30 pm. and to come on by....she also wrote that I "needed" to watch Devin in the morning so she could drive Tom home from the eye doctor's because he was getting the dreaded.. "can't see and painfully sensitive to light for hours afterwards" So I should come back over after Starbucks closed and spend the night. Okay, no big deal, I don't mind sitting up all night after the kids go to sleep and watching the cable, (unless I pass right out from lack of sleep from last, and I can do laundry tonight or tomorrow too, and Devin and I have fun together. But....the phrasing was not; 'I need you to', or 'can' or 'will', or 'are you available to', or 'do you want to' I that easy or predictable that I'll always say yes, so why ask?

Yeah................most likely..........................lmao!

Though I do have some limits.....if the dumb-ass next door has his stupid "outdoor stadium mega-watt gazillion decibel too damn loud for an apartment" stereo on like he did this afternoon........screw it, Jenn and Tom are just going to have to work around the bus schedule in the morning....'cause I'm heading back to the shed!

I ran into Scott and Taylor here this afternoon, and spent some time talking with Scott, who was reading our little blog when I walked in, (Taylor was immersed in her law books for school), about anxiety disorders and things to help reduce the potency of and/or head off an attack. He has his Masters in the social work field, and also shared some of his personal experiences with me. He is also e-mailing me some things to read on the subject. I truly appreciate the time and the patience, and the care and compassion he is showing me. His understanding is so much more helpful than some of the crap I get sent by e-mail and 'comment'.
Also thanks to a generous gift he casually slipped into my hand, I'm going to be able to get new socks and jockey shorts as well as the boots I need and a pair of new pants for cold weather, when added to the cash I already have put away from Abe and what little I have been able to save.

I'm very grateful to everyone who contributed and appreciate your thoughtfulness.

I'm going to pack up now and figure the best way to kill some time so that ...HOPEFULLY!... the grandmonsters will be asleep when I get to Jenn's. I may go right to the recliner and try to sleep because my right eye is feeling worse, the broken glass is morphing into electric flaming needles.....



Good Morning;
Well, it's 4:25 am. and I can't sleep. I fell asleep about Midnight and woke up at 1:00 am. thinking nit was near 7:00 am., took my meds and fell back asleep for an hour.
Now I feel like I'm trapped between a sinus headache and a hangover, (no, I have not been drinking). After looking at FB I came away feeling even worse...a friend I deeply care for is hurting and I can't help. And the situation she is in illustrates just how meaningless FB has made the word 'friend', turned it into a throwaway term.
(We were actual flesh and blood friends and emotionally intimate when Zuckerman was still sitting alone in his dorm room hacking into Harvard's student roster and beating off to the pretty girls's!).

Today was another awesome fall day; cool, sunny, windy........would have loved to been on a sailboat on the Bay. The most exciting thing that has happened recently was finding a $5.00 bill on the bus Thursday night. One of those..[.is that money?, no it's just trash,.....well maybe I better look..................oh cool! it is!.]..circumstances.

Oh yes, and a comment from an elementary school classmate who found the blog
......(Hi Rosalie, I remember you also.......

Sunday, (later today), with any luck I'm stopping at Jenn's to shower, and maybe laundry, depending on who is home and their irritability factor.

The (s)laptop is getting to be more sensitive to any little bump or jar, or even ignoring it for too shuts down and pouts.
Kinda like an ex girlfriend who once had a migraine and poison ivy.....and on top of that PMS kicked in...............ouch!!

Alright the battery is low and my eyes feel like they are full of broken glass, so...


Oh and btw.....this is post # eleventy eleven.....1,!

Friday, October 14, 2011

"Whither The Weather ..........................&........................Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader, Officer Friendly?....................."

Good Afternoon;
Well, there has been some pretty intense weather in the past 24hours.
I love it right now, cool, sunny and windy. Earlier this morning it rained like a MF, or a my friend Kenny used to say, like 3-4 MFs!
In between was fog, mist, drizzle, cloudy skies with patches of blue peeking through the gaps, and light brain during bright sun, but sadly no rainbow, which is a drag 'cause I coulda used the 'pot 'o gold' at the!
Last night as I was leaving the gas station there was a layer of low cloud that was of varied density, moving fast across the full, (or nearly full), moon. At times obscuring it, at other times just wisps flowing and fluttering veil like across the face. It looked like the beginning shots of a whole slew of ocean themed, scary, or noir movies, both good and bad. Pretty cool.

The rain was so crazy this morning that 3 times I got set to leave the shed and before I got my boots tied the heavens opened up and dropped a curtain of water so thick and heavy it was bouncing up and under the door enough to puddle. And let's not even talk about the places the roof is rotted through, if the water wasn't so dirty from it's travels through the shingles, wood, and fiberglass insulation I could shower under it.
There was some really awesome thunder too. It was much lower in pitch and timbre and 'quickness' of reverberation, it was a low, deep rumble that went on and on and on and on...for at least 45 continuous seconds. That happened about 8 or 10 times during one downpour; imagine a row of stacks of 55 gallon drums or hollow heavy steel boxes falling domino style, each column having a different number of drums or boxes in no particular order, falling to a concrete floor......rewind and repeat.
There was 'normal' thunder and lightning during the other storms today too.
And such a quick change of status too, as I was in the Giant, entering in a period of clearing skies, the weather was different each time I hit the head of the aisles and looked out the doors! From a deluge to a drizzle in the sunshine.....and anything in between.

When I was on the #59 bus headed towards the Metro at Reisterstown Rd. Plaza to catch the bus here to the coffee shop there was a fairly serious accident at Old Milford Mill Rd. that blocked both lanes towards the city and the left turn lane, leaving the 2 outbound (west) lanes clear. Well the Baltimore County Police, (motto-- 'Integrity-Fairness-SERVICE (?)...), officer tasked with traffic detail at the scene for some strange reason allowed both westbound lanes to keep going while making the eastbound traffic turn into the 7 Mile Market parking lot, telling them to turn around on the lot and head back the opposite direction....even the transit buses, which are usually allowed to continue on if there is room. Now the people on the bus were understandably unhappy with this, as was the driver, there being no streets which the bus could use to bypass the scene......(in various degrees of eloquence, ranging from polite and respectful to vulgar ebonics). The cop basically said "tough shit, not my problem, you'll have to wait until it's clear I guess" (and the paramedics were working on at least one injured person stretched on the was going to be a good while), and walked away when asked by a young elementary school student with his mother;
"Why can't you use those cones I see in the trunk of your cruiser to funnel the traffic into one lane each way, and direct them to drive slow?"
I looked at the back corner of the grocery store parking lot and saw where they had just recently paved (the asphalt was still clean and, a connection from the new 7 Mile lot to the old 7 mile lot. I pointed this out to the bus driver and we started what became a caravan of assorted vehicles across both lots and out to 7 Mile Lane, and left on Reisterstown Rd., back on the route. Problem solved.

Now it's getting really windy and a bit cooler out as it's getting dark, (6:24 pm.).
I'm going to eat something for dinner and another coffee and read my book.
I looks to be a cool, clear, sunny, dry, and at times very windy weekend.....I love the fall..... Depending on what the 'ex' has planned for visiting friends in their 'succahs' this weekend, (the middle or 'chol hamoyed' days of the 'Succos',....(also spelled and pronounced 'Sukkot', but you don't really need to know all about the minor differences in Askenazi and Sephardic Hebrew pronunciations......but if you do, you can probably link from the link below that describes the holiday and it's customs),; I hope to spend some time outdoors with Rachel.

I'll see you tomorrow,


Thursday, October 13, 2011

"The Old 'Burp & Snore'........................"

Good Evening;
So it's been a kind of slow uneventful day'.
Rain, then mist, then heavy rain, then drizzle, then was also really warm, especially when the bus driver has the heat on in a bus with only fixed windows that open at the top. I woke up and everything felt 'moist', as if my clothes had been washed and not dried fully. Waiting for the buses in a fine mist just added to the feeling. No skin moisturisers needed today folks!

The high point of the day has been picking up my prescriptions from RiteAid and stopping at the library to get some books.
Then sitting here at the coffee shop eating too much at one time, and fighting to stay awake.......just like after Thanksgiving dinner......(and I did have a turkey sammich today too!)

That's it for now,


"A Short Explanation........................"

Good Evening;
Just a short note here;
To Anonymous who commented on the recent post with the links to NCHV and the VA.

No I am not a Veteran, but I owe a debt of gratitude to McVets,
the "Maryland Center for Veterans' Education and Training"
for nights spent in their overnight emergency shelter on some
bitter cold and snowy and rainy nights.
I have known a few veterans who are out on the street for various reasons, some with mental health issues, who fought and bled for our country and were basically tossed to the curb when they got home. Lots of differing stories of course, but all with the same underlying theme of abandonment when they needed help. Men and women, and in some cases their families.

I just think that no matter what anyone feels about the policies and politics that sent these folks, kids in some cases, in harms way, ... they deserve better and a higher priority in housing and help.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Search for missing Baltimore County man

Good Evening;
This is my son-in-laws cousin;
Please take the time to view the article and look at the photo.
It has been a week and his family is going out of their minds with worry.
Anything is possible, you may have seen or heard something,
no matter how trivial seeming that might help.



"Adrenaline, .....................Lisa,................... Caffeine,.................. Her Mom,... & ..................Lycopine...................."

Good Evening;
So,... I got up at 7:00 am. and saw grey skies and rain and said the hell with it and lay back down to a nice, peaceful, lazy, sleepy kind of day.....or so I thought.
At 9:15 am. I heard voices under the carport discussing the air conditioner and evaporator units, one a real estate/leasing agent, the other a browsing potential buyer. Then they mentioned something about the shed being on a foundation and having electricity.......THEN the door gave a thump and I heard part of a comment about "I gave it a kick......." and ......" the bottom".

Well..........I haven't 'undressed, dressed, and had my boots on and tied, and bag packed, and out the door in 30 seconds' in a long time, (the voices had faded and I heard a car start and pull off, as I was holding my breath and sitting silent). As I was running the chain through the holes and locking the door I heard a "hey you, that't twice" behind me and turned and saw Lisa walking towards me. She was walking to work, after a detour to the Dunkin' Donuts across the street. She walked to the Giant with me and we chatted for a few minutes and she continued on down the street to her family's business a block over.

I went and made an extra strong and sugared to get my body up and moving at a rate to meet my heartbeat, and went looking for something for meals today. As I came past the registers I ran into Lisa's mother, (who I had seen more of in the Giant than Lisa this, and we had a laugh about seeing Lisa twice in 18 hours. I was on my way to check out when I saw the most incredible red tomato mixed in with all the pale orange and still slightly green tinged ones on display. I grabbed it and when it came time to eat here at the coffee shop I got two slices for my sandwich and the rest looked so good I just tore open a package of salt and pepper mix and ate the thing like an apple. I don't know how this beauty got mixed in with all the hot house losers, but I'm happy it!

The rest of the day has been wet and dull and just a mix of sleep apnea startled awakenings and a 'right behind my right eye' headache, a low grade fever and backache........the type of things the meds just dilute and not erase. And of course the nerves that start jangling when I think of what is going to go on with the shed. The building has been vacant so long, maybe 5 years, (possibly more), that complacency just kind of took over.

I just turned on the (s)laptop to look at the NCHV and VA websites that someone told me about, and because I needed to look for a message, which isn't there, and I'm signing off now.


"Don't Forget The Vet........................."

Good Evening;
A link to the NCHV Facebook page;

And one to the VA;


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

"Burst Bubbles....................Night Moves...&...Things That Go BUMP In The Night...................Tea Party Madness...................."

Good Afternoon;
Well, this sucks....just got an e-mail stating that the Gazillion Bubbles National Tour has been cancelled so Rachel and I won't be going to the Hippodrome on the 20th.
Yeah that just seems fitting with the night and morning I've had.

The upstairs idiots at Jenn's had what I found out was a running battle since Thursday of last week come to a noisy climax at 1:00 am. this morning. It was complete with yelling, screaming, stomping, breakage of crockery and furniture, and the upending and subsequent toppling and crashing of a very large object to the floor. I'm thinking a large, heavy, solid wood armoire....a large screen tube or projection TV....or the refrigerator/freezer. The whole damn building shook and dust and plaster fell from the ceiling and vents! As I stepped out the door and into the laundry room to put my wash into the dryer I heard a woman's voice saying "I've got a situation here". I'm not sure if it was a 911 call or the cop I saw a minute later through the peephole on her radio. In the middle of everything the 2 "stick a broomstick up their butt's and you've or a dust mop" breed of dogs were yipping and yapping and whining with their damn nails scrabbling and scratching on the wood or tile floors the whole time.....and when things finally settled down around 2:30 am. and the cops and whoever was tossed out was gone, along with the baskets of belongings that were all over the sounded as if someone was assembling a bed or a recliner, and tearing the hell out of the wood parquet flooring in the process. Meanwhile the dogs were either outside on the balcony yipping and growling and whining constantly, which was echoing off the walls of the enclosed courtyard area and setting up sympathetic barking among other dogs in and out of apartments, and a slew of pointed comments, warnings, and threats from the potheads, crackheads, and drug dealers living in the immediate vicinity. The construction/demolition noises finally stopped near 4:00 am. and the dogs were then shoved into the bathroom with the door locked....and expressed their displeasure quite stridently with an assortment of howls and whining squeals at loud decibel levels, in the upper limits of the frequencies humans can hear.........and above! Which set Jenn's dog on edge, growling and letting loose with explosive little yips and yaps.
About 5:30 am. after dozing off in spite of all the commotion for about 20 minutes, I woke up to some sort of Japanese music consisting of a stringed instrument playing the same 8 or 10 notes over and over and over and over again just at the lower edge of hearing.....that atonal out of tune twanging so prevalent in traditional Asian music that makes you want to scream while shoving the nearest pointy object in your ears.

I gave up and turned on the Mr. Coffee and WJZ-13 for Don and Marty and The Early Show. About this time Jenn was getting up, (and she slept through the whole ordeal.....and Tom, who has a fair amount of hearing loss he won't admit to, was up at 1:30 am. and went out to smoke a cigarette on the patio and heard a little bit of the dogs whining to be let back in, heard and felt none of the probably 4.5 on the Richter scale shaking and banging...but but he did walk to the corner of the building and see the cop cars out front.), to start making Ed's lunch for school and breakfast, and get his clothes out in preparation to getting him up. (And emptying 3 tubes of powdered concentrated 'Energy2go' drink mix that is meant to be added to a 16-20 oz. water half a coffee mug of water and slugging it down while trying not to! She's got to have her caffeine jump start, but can't do espresso or even plain old!)
As they were all about to leave the house, Devin was still asleep but starting to roll around and mumble a bit, at the point where it was 50-50 either way if she woke or fell back asleep....and I was just about to crash out, and wanted to!
Well at this point Ed wants to chatter on about something or other and Devin flipped instead of flopped and I heard a little tiny voice saying, "Get me up Pop-Pop"... I tried to pretend I was asleep.....hoping she'd give up and go back to sleep such luck, she's wise to that!
So I spent all morning and most of the early afternoon playing tea-party, drawing and coloring tea parties, and looking at tea parties on TV on various pre-schooler channels.

I broke free when Jenn and Tom got home about 11:30 am. I had just put my feet up and fallen asleep sitting up on the couch when Tom appeared at the sliding glass doors making faces and startling Devin into peals of laughter.......yeahhhhh!, whiplash is not that funny!!
So I'm teetering between total exhaustion and slaphappy goofiness.

I showered and packed up rolled out of there in time to catch the 2:05 pm. bus here .to Mt. Washington.........
...............and my friend Lisa who I met at the Pikesville Starbucks 4 years ago and whose family invited me to Passover Seder a couple years ago, and who I have not seen in quite some time just walked in.
We have had a standing lunch date at Salvinos Sub Shop in Pikesville for years that has never panned out, each time we get to the point of actually setting a time and date, one of us gets sick! (And her asthma is not reacting well to this years overabundance of pollen and all the mold and spores the extended period of wet weather has spawned. :-(

Anyway, that's it for now, still on the lookout for a great deal on boots, I've got the money tucked away and this time I'm not rushed, as I was last winter and paid the price for it.


Monday, October 10, 2011

"New Acquaintances..........................Dirty Laundry.....................And.........................A Late Lunch

Good Afternoon;
Well I'm back at the Starbucks stretching the free refills on my registered card to the limit today. I walked up to the counter and because there was still the dregs of my morning instant in the cup the barrista automatically rang it up as a refill. I mentioned that it wasn't and he said, it's more trouble than it's worth to cancel and re-ring it.
Thanks....Coffee cup Hot smile

As I was packing up to leave last night the couple sitting next to me, Taylor and Scott, mentioned what a lovely and, smart and well behaved little lady Rachel was. We ended up standing outside talking and in the conversation the subjects of homelessness, our little blog here, the work Taylor has done with an expungement program aimed at the homeless, Scott's volunteer work at an addictions treatment facility that used Suboxone, ('bupe'), and other related topics. They offered to get me some information that may lead to or assist in getting some representation and/or advocacy as regards S.S.I. filings, legal aid, et. al.
They said they would try to hook up with me here again one evening, which would be nice because I found them nice folks and easy to talk with, which is not the norm for me on a first meeting, with little of the usual anxiety and social stress symptoms that tend to inhibit me at times.

They also asked if I was in need of any clothing for the upcoming cold weather. I said that my socks and underwear were coming up on the end of their usable lifespans as garments, and that I may be in need of the balance of the cost of a pair of pants/jeans, depending on the price I end up paying for a pair of boots.
(I should be able to get boots and a pair of store brand denim jeans for what Abe gave me, but I'm not 100% sure yet, I'm still looking for the best deal on boots. Jenn does a lot of business with a company online and is happy with both price and service, but with my crazy feet I'm leery of buying without an actual as opposed to virtual fitting).
I told them it was nice of them to be concerned and want to help, but that it wasn't really necessary.

It's time, 4:51 pm. to eat 'lunch', my first real meal today. Breakfast consisted of lots of coffee, a couple Pringles, a few handfuls of Cocoa Puffs Combos cereal, a quarter of a multigrain bagel, and a hunk of iced marble pound cake from the Giant bakery, (day-old, reduced and with a $1.50 off sticker on it......I actually MADE money buying!).

I am leaving here with Jenn tonight after her meeting across the way, and I cannot wait to get into the shower tonight, no matter how bad the bathroom may (will) stink from Mama Cat and the kitties and their litter box!
I'm watching Devin in the morning while Jenn and Tom meet with Ed's teacher, so
tomorrow is laundry day,......about 30 hours or so beyond what I had planned, and I'm wearing the last of the clean clothes I have with me. What were meant to be sleeping socks, because of the holes in the heel and the anemic elastic, and the Hawaiian shirt which is basically my 'dress' shirt have been put into play because when I got here I found I could not stand to wear the tee shirt and socks I had on any longer. Not that they were really foul but I just felt 'un-fresh', (cit. - see any television commercial for feminine hygiene products...before all the dancing in the midst of a shower of rose petals or orange blossoms under a rainbow in a mountain!).

Anyway, between saying hello to Abe, who has invited me to spend some time eating lunch or dinner in the Succah with him and his family over the upcoming holiday, and talking with Visa, it's after 5:30 pm......


"Sleeping Rough In The Middle Kingdom............................"

Good Afternoon;
Another link to Joel John Roberts and the Poverty Insights site;

The idea of homelessness in a country of 1,341,683,487+......(with a growth rate of approximately 178,000 people per day, 7,400 per hour, 124 per minute, or 2 per second.......for all of us "you never know when Jeopardy may call" trivia not surprising, but the fact that the totalitarian regime allows it to be seen in the 'showplace' cities frequented by international travelers and the press.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

"Psychotics Welcome...........................Please Check All Weapons And Neuroses At The Bedroom Door.................................."

Good Evening;
Well, I'm sitting here in the Starbucks beating on the (s)laptop to get it to boot up. Rachel just left and it was running fine all through the "Bookworm Adventures Deluxe" game up until we hit the end of the 'free play' section and it was buy it or ...'see ya'. I downloaded it from their site thinking it was the same version that was Dell Eric gave me first, (and I think it was on the VAIO also, but this damn memory loss has me forgetting things or remembering them wrong), but it wasn't. Rachel was disappointed because we were about to enter the next 'Book', and has come to enjoy the word play as much as the graphics. I have to look around for somebody who has it on disk.

I had a night of really weird dreams, nightmares, and hallucinations last night for some reason, pretty freaky and not very restful.
I went down to Monkees to pick up the rest of the meds for October, about 10:30 am., I was supposed to go over Jenn's at 1:30 pm. to shower, but between there being too much time to kill and just not feeling like dealing with the grandkids and the underlying tension related to Tom's cousin who is still missing, going on 4 days now.
(And he's not some kid out on a binge, this is a grown family man, possibly dealing with mental health issues and ideations)

I'll be getting picked up here by Jenn tomorrow, Monday, night after her HG meeting and going home with her to spend the I can watch Devin in the morning while she and Tom meet with Edward's teacher at school on Tuesday morning. I'll shower Monday night (and again Tuesday evening before I leave), and do laundry in the morning.

In other news I ran into my friend Kristin and her handsome new baby boy Hudson here today. It is such a joy to see someone you care about grow and blossom into a beautiful young woman and responsible mother.

I don't know if it's just me or anyone else is affected this way, but the breaking of the heat wave of this past summer, and the passing of all the rain, into these cool, clear, clean, crisp, autumn days kicks my libido into overdrive....of course being single and not in a position socially or economically to circulate in the places and among the people I'd normally frequent, I'm on the brink of breaking the cardinal rule of 'recreation romance'....
i.e......."Don't sleep with anyone crazier than yourself".....
Oh well, I've always liked the 'granola girls', and seem to attract them.
What are 'granola girls' you ask......just look at the ingredients;
'Nuts, Fruits, and Flakes'!

Stay tuned for more looney tunes