Quotation of the Day

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

"Tragedy.............AND............Travesty.............."

Good Morning Again;

In the Baltimore Sun today...Wed.-09/30/09... ( www.baltsun.com ) there is a front page article about 2 PhD. drug researchers who were shooting up illegally imported from India by way of the Internet, Buprenorphine. Stupid..Stupid..Stupid!!! I'm sorry the woman died, but Holy F*ckin' Sh*t!!!, the very people who should know better!
No guarantee of quality or 'fillers', injecting a drug not meant to be, and combinations of drugs that have either unknown or deadly or dangerous interactions.....come on fools!
The article is full of semi-accurate misleading statements and sensationalized mis-information.
Such as $50.00 street prices for a pill and the amount of abuse and diversion of thr drug that was found by the Baltimore City Grand Jury Investigation.
Now, in typical kneejerk reaction, the uninformed are screaming about 'enforcement' and 'the war on drugs' with all the fervor of a lynch mob.
Another thing I have to stress over, besides my normal everyday crap....
(I have $0.15 cents, no food, and crazy cops hassling homeless and panhandlers, medical care access is in limbo at present, I need clothes, and I have not seen Rachel in close to a month, and the increasing isolation and lack of human intimacy and physical contact I am feeling, and I do not only mean getting laid, though in all seriousness that is a factor too, and increasing pain and discomfort from???.....)
Over zealous fanatics with a lockstep PC mentality trying to take away, control or limit the availability of the one medication that actually works....for me, and hundreds of thousands of others, as a true addiction treatment and suppressant of cravings, a non-increasing tolerance pain medication, and as an anti-depressant in cases where others have not worked.
See you later.......Dave

"Black Please ...No Cream, No Sugar........No Aloe Vera!...................."

Good Morning;
I am here just as the library opens to insert an important clarification/explanation and possible apology concerning a statement I made about the lack of intellectual stimulation I felt I was receiving at the St. Thomas Starbucks. I should have made it clear that I was talking about the quantity or frequency of, and NOT the Quality of the discussions and the people with whom I conversed. I truly enjoy and eagerly look forward to meeting and chatting and exchanging ideas with the likes of Nathan and Rich and Ted and Mike and Olga and Allie, et. al. It was the..."Non-crapita per capita",...(I just made that up; short, sweet, and succinct, and if I gotta explain it...well............LOL),... ratio I was referring to.

The reason for this disclaimer is because of an incident in the Giant this morning; As I was taking a sip of my coffee, semi-conscious and fuzzy headed with clogged sinuses, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a flash of glittering light on a pale flat spoked object with brightly colored ends traveling in an arc towards the back of my head. At the same time, my hearing being hampered by clogged Eustachian tubes, I heard a low slow droning noise that did not filter past the blockage in my ears. Now my reflexes being somewhat sluggish and the 'input to analysis to reaction factor' being proportionately skewed, I began to turn my head before it registered that what I was seeing was the reflection/refraction of the lighting off of a diamond set in a ring on the spread fingers of a well manicured and gaily polished hand, resulting in the the contact with my poor, innocent, and unsuspecting head being not where it was intended, i.e. on the back of my skull, but....directly in line with the upturned cup of fresh, hot, full, and as yet lidless just purchased coffee. You may well imagine the consequences, after the 'shock and awe' passed, and the 'adrenal gland stimulated nerve deadening time delay' wore off. Everything suddenly 'snapped and clicked', and in the same instant that the pain registered, recognition also kicked in. Things were a bit confused for a few moments as the first thing I tried to determine was if I should 'sh*t or git' as the fight or flight instinct took hold,..then a little voice said "water, cold water, quickly....!" and I went and stuck my face in the water fountain....(and this being Pikesville, some nosey little old 'yenta' with nothing better to do comes over and tells me I can't "wash my face in the water cooler, and that she needed to take her pills soon...", at this point the droning noise I had heard finally worked it's way through to comprhension and translated to be my friend's..(who wishes to remain anonymous....after this morning, who can blame her....lol) voice in a mock New York Bubbie accent saying.."So Vhat Am I, Chopped Liver?", and I realized she was hovering nervously next to me asking if she should call the ambulance or not. By this time, hysteria has set in and I'm cracking up at the absurdity and irony of it all, and everyone is looking at me as if I am about to go postal, which only sets me off again as they all slowly slide a bit farther back.
Well I eventually get myself under control and go change my shirt...(and my shorts, for different reasons), and wash my face in the restroom, checking to see if I'm blistered on my face or chest from the coffee...{nope, just a bit red, which is fading, and I smell like a roastery.......lol}.
So.......in the immortal words of Elton John...
"Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano Player!"
If I did not mention your name, don't worry....you ARE one of the people who I count as part of my 'think tank'........lol.
In closing I just want to say.......OW! OW! OW! OW!.....HOT! HOT! HOT!
later........Dave

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

"{Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей}..........{Moio sudno na vozdušnoy poduške polno ugrey}........

Good Morning;
C'mon now folks, NO comments on the translation of the phrase in the title, which I included in a post a few weeks ago?? I expected some sort of comment or an e-mail, just for sh*ts and giggles. Is no one as inquisitive, ambitious, and ridiculous as I am?
If you have to learn one sentence in Russian...this has to be the perfect one.
It's a glorious day outside, sunny cool, with a brisk breeze blowing, and as the song...['Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes'] says......
"So many nights I just dream of the ocean, / God, I wish was sailing again"
(I watched the DVD that was with the double live CD of Jimmy Buffett "Live In Anguilla" last night............................... and
"I'm teetering on the razors edge of frustration,
balanced precariously,
between inspiration and desperation"
So I made it almost to sundown yesterday while fasting, but my blood pressure which has been hovering around 190/85 started to spike, and my blood sugar seemed real low, so I ate dinner when I arrived at the Mt. Washington Starbucks about 5:30 pm. and felt better.
I read, and as I said, listened and watched Jimmy until closing.
Now I have again stirred up all the salt water in my blood and the tidal pull on my 'Caribbean Soul' is calling me homeward.
Of course he played CSN's 'Southern Cross', so my 'French Polynesian Soul' has also been aroused, and I had to place a hold at the library and order the Jimmy Buffett "Live In Hawaii" CD/DVD set, and now I'm trying to find a copy of the movie "Donovan's Reef".
Maybe it's my way of trying to simplify my life, beginning the process of 'de-evolving', by following the primal urge to return to the oceans. I'll keep you updated if I begin to grow webs or gills.
I'm out of here for now, it's too nice out to waste away inside, and I need coffee too. It's a coin flip at this point which coffee shop I'm going to. I do have to find some cash somehow, I'm down to the last quarter (2mg.) of a bupe, and I need to get enough for the next 3 days, as I am expecting..(I HOPE)..a little bit of money on Friday.
I'll be back later...........Dave
P.S.
.......Semantics Lesson.........
On a tropical island,
Homeless = Beachcomber
a very respectable profession...........lol

Monday, September 28, 2009

"Trading Places..............??????................."

Good afternoon;

So when I left here on Saturday, I went over and sat with Allan talked with him about his adventures in 'Bedpan Bedlam', AKA Sinai Hospital of Baltimore. One hell of a ride, broken toe leads to leaking blood vessel, leads to infection, leads to the edge of gangrene, leads to surgery, leads to massive doses of IV antibiotics (administered directly into the main ventral line), with side trips into medtech incompetency and near malpractice, ending with discharge and a Daily return for 30 days to have the antibiotics injected through the catheter that is still in his chest and with tubes taped all the way over and down his arm.

All I can say is, "WOW, this sh*t does happen to other people..not just me...Vindication!!!".........LOL, (sorry Allan).

As we left the library, I was heading to Monkee's, and then out to Lutherville to Anna Marie's, and he offered to take me to the Metro, which then became the Light Rail, which ended up being "What the heck, I feel like driving." and ended up being all the way to East Baltimore and Monkee's, which somehow became a cruise up I-83 and over to the Lutherville Light Rail Stop.

Thanks Buddy!!

It saved me so much time I actually ahd to sit at the Light Rail for a half an hour before she came home and I could walk over! Of course the rain decide to begin in earnest at that point, but I made it across the stream before it rose to cover the stepping stones.

I washed and showered and we had dinner and talked and watched TV, it was so wonderfully boring and domestic.....lol!

She took me back to the Light Rail in the car, early for a change, (usually we cannot stop talking and I just catch the last train, which means it takes until 4:00 am. to get back to the shed), and I was at the gas station before Midnight. (Where I spent my dollar on the Keno and ended up $20.00 ahead at the end of the night).

On Sunday, I took advantage of the free coffee at the Giant, (quite a few times, I have to shamefacedly admit...lol), and took my purchases of breakfast out to the bench in front of the library and sat eating and reading for a good 3 hours. I was still leery of going down to the corner, and the $20.00 form the night before seemed to be an omen NOT to, so I stayed at Mt Washington At the Starbucks instead of going farther in town to North Ave. It was a wonderful day to sit outside..so I did, switching from back to front of the building to follow the shade. I went into Whole Foods to look around...Bad Idea!! when you are have both money in your pocket and a craving for 'something different', suffice it to say I made a number of trips back and forth and depleted any reserve funds I may have had...but damn if it wasn't a deliciously guilty diversion.

As I was leaving at closing time, about to walk the path under the JFX back to the train, a car pulls up and beeps the horn. It's Allan, and he had been in Whole Foods getting a salad for his dinner. I threw my bags in the back of his truck and we drove back to Pikesville and satin the Giant parking lot for 2 hours or more 'shooting the sh*t', as guys do. Then it was off to the gas station to lose at the Keno and wash up..then bed.
This morning, Monday, I went into the Giant and bought some food, (which I still have not eaten, and I think I will make it to sundown, and 'Break-Fast', in the true meaning of the word, [an "inadvertent"?!? fast ..for Yom Kippur..,"coincidence"?!?, because I had no plans to fast, actually.]...), and ran into Mitch, from the St. Thomas Starbucks, and his companion, Hannah.
Then I hit the library for a "few minutes"......LOL!, and since it was so nice out I was going to spend the day sitting outside somewhere drinking coffee...(see I told you I had no 'plans' to fast). the last time I stepped outside it had clouded up some but was still comfortable, I went out between signoffs and signups...(of which there were many today!..), a minute ago, about 4:00 pm. and it is now pouring down rain, so I am kind of stuck here, (and I am bored enough with the library to want to leave now...lol), so now I don't know what or where or when I am doing/going.
I really did not want to go out to the Owings Mills sore because I am realizing that it is contributing to my physical and intellectual stagnation, and it is just too far off the (frequent) bus and train lines to allow for easy and spontaneous movement...anywhere! Which means more eating and less exercise and it's inevitable results.
A couple days at Mt. Washington among the varied and diverse patrons there was as much stimulation as a weeks worth of the 'burbs', plus it takes more effort to get there, if only a mile more walking.
If the rain slackens I still may go to the Mt. Washington coffee shop today, I'm not going to the corner though... if the rain keeps up..St. Thomas is the default.
I'm down to the last $4.50 in my possession, so tomorrow I may have to stand out and try to get enough to last until the 2nd of October, when I am hoping to get a little bit of cash. It is just that time again, end of the month, bus pass about to expire, no food credits left, and no minutes left on the cell phone......C'MON FRIDAY!!!!
I'll see you later..............Dave

"גמר חתימה טובה .............Gmar Hatima Tovah..............May You Be Inscribed In The Book Of Life, For Good!..............."

Good Morning;
It is Yom Kippur, probably the most important day in the Jewish religion and even though I am not in synagogue, and do not feel any connection to the community here, and I am not fasting this year, (though now that I consider it, since I have not yet eaten, from before sunset last night, even if it is by circumstance and not by conscious choice...technically, I AM!....is this a sign or just coincidence??, hmmmmm?, Maybe I'll just see how I feel and how my blood pressure reacts and take it hour by hour until sundown..), I still take the time to stop and give thanks and ask to be given the opportunity to muddle through another year. And of course to at least and admit and acknowledge the sins, mistakes, errors, faults, shortcomings, call them what you wish, of my actions or in many cases, non- or in- actions of the past year, those so called 'sins of omission' that are so easy to overlook and/or justify. And I am...'Guilty As Charged', your honor, and I plead for leniency and throw myself on the mercy of the court.

Religious or not, devout or not, as confused, conflicted and conf*ckted as I may be, and as tenuous as the connection may be, I still consider myself a Jew, despite what my feelings toward and the opinions of the Orthodox and the Ultra-Orthodox that I ended up in the midst of.

It is the 'Day Of Atonement', and whether one is a believer or not, there is nothing wrong with a day set aside for reflection, introspection, and redirection.

I offer my apologies to those I may have inadvertently hurt.

I beg forgiveness from those who I offended and injured, through intent or indifference.

I gratefully thank everyone who has donated and helped me materially.

I deeply appreciate the folks who have helped me with matters of personal hygiene allowing me to keep mind, body, and soul together.

I humbly and with great humility wish to express my love and affection to the people whose care and concern and compassion, whose sympathy and empathy, tolerance and patience....in light of and in spite of; my moods..(and mood swings), my bouts of depression, apathy, and anxiety, my self doubts and self destructive inertia....whose support never wavered, never faltered, and even if I did not agree, or respond, or acknowledge it, DID and DOES make a difference.


I especially wish to express my infinite and eternal devotion to that tiny community of friends that have become my family, who know my deepest and darkest secrets...and fears...and I theirs.

In a world of interpersonal relationships where I truly believe that only constant is..."EVERYONE LEAVES!"..., these is ONE person who has resisted the pull of time and tide and after 35 years we are still 'together', lives tightly interwoven in a fabric that includes, yet transcends 4 marriages, 4 divorces, numerous lovers, (and extended periods of self imposed celibacy) 5 children, 3 grandchildren, death's of intimate friends(and the 'third' in our circle, whose loss still reverberates), and lovers parents, illness and accident and near death experiences, unspeakable, unimaginable horror and tragedy that only happens to 'other people in the newspaper', addiction and recovery..both first and second hand.

And due to poor timing, overdue awakenings, and karmic irony...

... my soulmate but never my lover, who knew the depth of my feelings, and had the ability and opportunity to abuse them for her own needs, but who chose the bittersweet parallel path to a long term friendship over a short and profitable " l'affaire d'amour '', the woman with whom I'd choose to end my days with, and still keep the ember of hope alive and burning for, but buried deep.

To whom I owe a debt of gratitude I feel can never be fully repaid.

The person who I respect, admire and love most in this world.

You KNOW..(and always have), who you are.

And last but not least, my children, to whom I apologize for not being the Father I truly do have the potential of being, but to whom I have always been the best Daddy possible, I offer the thanks that can never be fully conveyed for giving me a reason to live when all else pointed to the other alternative, and the unrestrained and unconditional love only a child can give.

And of course the ultimate thanks and gratitude go to the Entity, Deity, Being, Power, Force or what have you, commonly called God. I do not profess to know or understand, but I don't have to. I do Believe, in my own way, and that's enough for me.

Thank you all for the past year, (almost), of reading and responding.

.......................Dave

























Saturday, September 26, 2009

"There But For The Grace Of God Go I.................OR........................Breathe Again, And Slowly Unclench........................."

Good Morning;

[(Time Zone = GMT:-5); Please Adjust Time Of Day Salutation As Needed]

(See post below this one for reference)

{Sometimes Ya Gotta Be Silly To Stay Sane.........LOL}


So, No one can tell me that my luck or whatever you wish to call it does not run in cycles, circles, rhythms, patterns, programs, or what have you. After a couple weeks of crawling IN and scraping the bottom of the barrel suddenly I'm finding myself crawling Out of the horn of plenty..(or Cornucopia for you literate folks....lol).

Twice in 2 days I am loaded up with damn near more food that I can eat before it goes bad, (or disintegrates in transit through unavailability of proper packing and travel containers), sandwiches, salads, fruit and cheese plates and pastries, (the day AFTER I decide to try to lose some weight/flab.....lol). After stretching dollar bills to the breaking point, and not having any luck getting on corner at the 'good' times, and not hitting the Keno for more than $2.00 in a few weeks.....when all at the same time I end up with a bit of cash from a friend, and a decent hour on the corner, with a couple generous donations, and a moderate $25.00 keno hit.


And what really made me realize how "lucky/blessed" I can be at times is a combination of 3 events and/or situations;


First, was the meeting and conversation with my oldest daughter, which seemed to be the starting point of this round of incidences.


Second, was the meeting and greetings of several people who I had not seen for a while. I have met a number of people when I used to stand out on the corner of Mt. Royal Ave. and North Ave. to catch the evening rush hour about to enter onto I-83 North, (Jones Falls Expwy.), who were 'regulars' in the sense that in the few seconds or minutes of conversation that we were able to grab, depending on the timing of the traffic light, we had developed a slight friendship or relationship that was such that some personal details were exchanged and remembered..on both sides..a few degrees beyond mere pleasantries. Small details about families or health or work, even 'entry level emotional intimacies'...(LOL).


Seeing my friend Michelle from MICA, was one.


Another was seeing and speaking to this woman, who has a dazzling smile and who seems truly pleased to see me and appears to actually care and react with her own happiness or sadness in response to my circumstances. When she gives me something it is a $5.00 which is not always but always welcome, but she always stops to say hello. I don't know her name..the same as with most..but I think of her as "the small dark haired woman with the really, really skinny cigarette, (which I have never seen her without...lol), in the little blue car.


There is also a young Chinese woman/girl..(What the hell, I'm 53 and I can't figure out the demarcation line between them anymore, and PC be damned!....lol....and besides that, with many Asian women, 18 or 40 is hard to determine), who waves so enthusiastically and smiles so broadly and brilliantly that it's a joy to see her whether she stops or not. When she does stop, 8 times out of 10 she has a treat for me from China, some native delicacy or sweet that I have no idea what it is because the packaging is not printed for export, and not always illustrated. I have had some interesting and for the most part tasty snacks that probably don't want to know what they are anyway...LOL! (Sometimes her English is not up to the task of describing the ingredients, and the names of the products are typically lyrical and flowery, not practical; e.g., 'delicious gems of harmony ', or 'petals of beauty', or 'crystallized dewdrops'...et.al.). Well, I adhere to the same rules I've taught my children, about ALL foods, (and which Rachel knows, will recite to you in a heartbeat, and really does willingly follow!)...namely..."You Don't Have To Like It...BUT...You Do Have To Try It!!", and I've had some strange and wonderful things, as well as some things that have to be banned under the Geneva Conventions as unfit for consumption, as torture!!...I don't know what this one thing was but it had the texture of grout, the smell of unwashed gym socks and the flavor of lime vomit! Ah...those inscrutable oriental minds!!


Then there is the traveling preacher/lecturer whose tire I changed around 18 months ago and who makes a special trip out of his way just to come by and say hello every time he hits Baltimore, we have missed each other for some months now our 'schedules' happened to coordinate yesterday......lol. Some folks just exude goodness to the point where it seems to rub off like pollen, and after spending time with them, colors seem brighter, worries seem lighter and the world seems just a little bit less nasty.


I've come to realize that meeting a new and constantly varying or even just rotating group of people is essential to my mental health, I feel better some days even if I have not made all that much money, (and if the weather is pleasant...a major factor also), just for having seen and talked to some familiar folks who I do NOT see day in and day out, and possibly met some new acquaintances.


Third...and this is the kicker...I had been out on the corner about 45 minute and had $10.00, (which was basically my goal, enough for my meds for the weekend, I've got an Appt. Monday to see another doctor at the clinic, who may be able to help me), and was just about to call it quits, around 5:00pm., when I saw a cop in line to make a U-turn and come back up past me. Well I will not insult a cop by flaunting my sign in front of them, even if it one of the ones who don't mind or care about panhandling, so I folded up my stuff and turned away. As I crossed the street, with the idea that I would possibly come back when they left, I saw Jillian across the street going to a car that had honked for her. The cops were in the left turn lane and immediately turned on lights and siren and barreled through traffic to the on ramp of I-83 and pulled over and jumped out, all three of them, and surrounded her.

Less than 2 minutes..(literally!).. went past and she was in 'Plasticuffs' and being put in the back of the car and hauled away.
These were all big white guys, the biggest going about 6' 5" and 300 lbs.,in plain clothes, shorts and jeans, etc., who are known on the street as 'the knockers', and usually work narcotics, and Jillian is kind of skinny, about 5' 7" and maybe 130 lbs...(or less, I'd never make any money at the Fair or the carnival at the "Guess Your Weight" booth.....lol!), a bit of overkill.( ya think?)



She and her boyfriend Sean, are fairly nice people and 'say' they are not getting high, but my observations of certain behaviors and bodily indications, on her part at least, lead me to presume..?..infer..?..surmise..?..otherwise, (though I may be wrong, and if so...my apologies).

But they and she in particular have had recent run-ins with certain police officers in the neighborhood and in Hampton, where they 'crash' at a house that charges them $10.00-$20.00 a night to stay.


Hmmmmmm?


Well in my experience..and..as Shakespeare says:


"What's in a name? that which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet;"


And their comments and opinions of cops in general and personal knowledge of the shifts and areas of certain cops tend to imply a two way back and forth familiarity. Again, only my opinions and impressions....

but....I've,

"Been there, done that, got the tee shirt"


But I digress from my original point.

If I had not 'folded my tent and slipped away into the night, like a snake oil salesman at the county fair', at that very moment, it possibly could have have been me going to tour the lovely and hospitable, Central Booking.

Was it luck, serendipity, coincidence.....Divine Intervention?

I don't profess to know, but damn if I'm not grateful!


At this point, I got on the first bus coming down the street, just to get out of sight..(as they were putting her in the car). I got off a half block later and went down to the Light Rail to look for Sean to let him know what happened, (I seem to run into him there as we are getting on/off passing trains), but he was not there. I went to Mt. Washington, to the Starbucks there because they have tables outside, front and back, sun or shade. Ashley was closing and I helped her take the trash down to the dumpster, and she gave me a bag of markouts. I talked to Monkee and made arrangements to meet her today, (when I am done here in fact), and then caught the bus and the train and the bus back to Pikesville, stopped in the gas station, and went in the shed and crawled until the blanket because it really cooled off quick.

I hit the Giant around 7:00 am. this morning and sat outside the library until it opened drinking coffee...FREE!!! this week at the 'Gucci' Giant for the grand opening festivities...(I missed the gift card giveaway by ONE (1) person yesterday).

I am going over to visit Anna Marie, and shower and wash clothes this evening, after I pass by Monkee's house.


I think I'll pass on the corner today, and if I have to, tomorrow, I'll slide down there earlier in the day, for the first shift....is there Raven's home game this Sunday?...if so there may be a better chance that more cops are pulling duty downtown. I hope to end up with some cash next Friday, so I'm going to consider how to stretchhhhh old G

George again this week.


Hey!!, Allan is here, out of the hospital. I'll see you all later..........Dave














"The --'Ayes'--....--'Eyes'--....--" I's "-- Have It.........OR..........Passed By International Acclamation?.........."

Good Morning;
Here is a curious but useless bit of trivia to start off the day....
For some odd reason my little 'Intimate Indulgence' here seems to attract an unusual amount of global visitors from countries beginning with the letter " I ". We have been graced with the presence of folks from India, Ireland, Iceland, Italy, Indonesia, Iraq, Israel and Iran....(hmmmmm?)...even Cote d'Ivoire, formerly known as Ivory Coast.
Every country beginning with " I "
And from the good old USA there have been hits from Illinois, Indiana and Iowa.........wait, we're missing one................who?............. oh, it figures........
Okay Idaho, c'mon out of those survivalist bunkers y'all and say hello.......lol.
Back in a bit............Dave

Friday, September 25, 2009

"Tiny Bubbles..................."

Good Afternoon;
Well having faith and the karmic equivalent of 'throwing myself on the mercy of the court' (in a universal sense...AKA..."The Secret")...[ Is he being serious or facetious?? you may well ask, I'm not sure myself at this point..........lol], seems to work sometimes.
I found 2 dollar bills on the street when I left the library yesterday afternoon and ended up with enough cash to buy real, though right on the edge of the 'eat at your own risk' date food. shaved ham, tomato, mayo, bbq sauce, on a soft taco; Cheetos; and strawberry generic pop tarts and a whole sh*tload of coffee to wash it all down. Then Ted comes by and slips me a $10.00 out of the blue, Thanks my friend. I ended up with a few sandwiches and pastries on the way out also, Thanks Tina.
I sat outside the library and read until it started to rain, then went to the gas station for a bit and put $2.00 on the Keno, won and lost and won and lost $2.00 at a time for a while and finally hit for $25.00, so I ended walking out with $30.00........so going out to corner is an option this afternoon, not a necessity.....for a change.....lol.
Give it up, give it over, and be grateful...not greedy, appreciate the little gifts and small victories.
back later...................Dave

Thursday, September 24, 2009

"Which Is a Worse Waste Of Time.....The Writing...OR...The Reading Of This Post?........................"

Good Afternoon...for the 3rd time.....lol;
Can you tell that I'm killing time at the library today?....(and the A/C here is not up to snuff either....lol).
I found some change on the ground, in the coin return of the copier and in my bag...COFFEE MONEY....HOORAY!!!
So at least I have something to drink, (and caffeine), to go with my mayonnaise and BBQ sauce burritos lunch, with honey and cinnamon burritos for dessert.
I'm going to trust to luck and providence today and see what happens. I walked outside and it's miserable and muggy....the hell with it, I'm not dealing with the corner today, if I can't find some money for food then I'll try the 'get the fried chicken on the way to the dumpster' bit, if that doesn't work....well I can afford to lose some weight anyway........lol.
Today...everything hurts, and what does not...is numb, these are not the most comfortable or well designed chairs.
At least my depression has chosen to express itself by means of, 'attemped humor in a jugular vein', rather than 'attempted suicide in a femoral artery'.
I'm outta here for real...unless I come back tonight....I'm going to go shave, I'll either feel better--or--slip and not care...............later.........Dave


"DeCaf...................What's The Point"

Good Afternoon;
Well, it is Thursday around 12:30 pm., and I cannot type a sentence without a typo right now. I need coffee, and don't even have enough for a cup..........sh*t!

I have an unproven scientific/medical theory that has just occured to me:

Depression + Exhaustion + Poverty = Inertia

I could not get up this morning to get out to the corner early, real early to get there before Jillian took it over, even knowing that I am dead broke, with no food supplies other than a half package of soft flour tortillas, and $0.75 left on my Independence card. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. The heat and humidity of the past few days has not helped either, and the Starbucks A/C is not working properly, (and of course no one there has taken the initiative to call the maintainance people......just piss and moan about it..????).

I am glad I went out yesterday morning and as I was getting off the train I saw the girl Jillian who has moved in on my corner, (when the junkie crew has not ruined it for all of us), {which is what happened on Tuesday morning, all morning...so I tried the other side of the street and had no one stop in over an hour, so I sat at the outdoor tables at the Gateway Building of MICA reading all day, moving from table to table with the shadows, until the afternoon rush hour, where I stood for an hour and a half, and had 2 people stop, one of whom was my friend Michelle from MICA, who I really miss seeing, and the other was a gentleman who I have mentioned before, a born again Christian laywer named Dave, who stopped and gave me $10.00. I was exhausted and left then.}...walking towards the intersection, now, it is first come/first served out here so I cut straight across the construction site and the field to get there before she did, (if not, she'd never leave, and I'd never get a chance at all), I ended up with enough money in about 2 hours to be able to pay my debt to Monkee for meds and get enough for the week, ($15.00 for her, and $5.00 for me), and I was just too hot and dirty to stand out there anymore. I then hit the coffee shop and the Giant, and that was all she wrote..$00.00! balance.
As I said earlier the A/C is busted there and with the combination of that and one of the employee's sheer negativity and just nasty bitter attitude, and the unavailability of the patio outside, the atmosphere there was miserable. I mean, hell, I do more than my fair share of bitching I'll own up to it, but you've got to admit that not in every breath and fiber of my being!! My life is far from the most pleasant at times, but I do not find fault with every other human being I come into contact with, almost all of whom are judged and found wanting, and then ridiculed. (..I have noticed a similar theme in 'lower class'/ghetto humor from my obsevations on public tranportation; where it is neccessary that the subject is being put down, 'gotten over on', hurt physically, or emotionally, and/or publicall humiliated for a 'joke' or anecdote to be funny...an extension of the 'eat the weak' attitude...). So I left well before closing and went to the library, (and had my run in with the 'Electro-Cyber-Gremlins'...............lol). It was so warm I sat out until after midnight on the benches near the library until the edge of the thunderstorm that passed over forced me in side the shed. Then, I slept poorly, so I feel like crap at this point, it's too bad I can't find someone to blame for it.......LOL.
Well time is up again.............see you later ............Dave

"Street Scene/Street Seen...OR...'This Is Dedicated---To The One I Love'........[*TAKE TWO*...AKA..'Lost In (Cyber)Space'/Ghosts In The Machine]....."

Good Morning;

(Or a semi-reasonable facsimile thereof);

You are probably wondering WTF is with these 2 posts with the same title, and different dates. With the first one dated Monday and posted Wednesday and having no content.
You can thank the computer,(DELL), the Baltimore County Library computer network, the ISP(?),and/or the BLOGGER website. AS I clicked on the Publish button last night after writing the post, which I had started and saved on Monday, the library computer system sent out it's '5 minute warning' and placed the countdown timer box right in the middle of the screen, at the same time, the ISP was having connection issues, AND a message popped up from BLOGGER stating that there were 'publishing conflicts' and to hit my 'back button' and try again......Well at that point everything went to hell and my whole friggin' post disappeared and cannot be resurrected.(I am going to start adding the name "Lazarus" to all my post titles as a precautionary measure.....couldn't hoit..........LOL). So, I'll try again..........

Anyone who travels Reisterstown Rd. along the 'Main St. Street scape' of Pikesville in the mid morning has most likely noticed the daily scenario of a 'little old man' out for a walk with his wife or daughter. This is one particular example that I have seen EVERY day, except in the most extreme cases of inclement weather, for the past 2 and 1/2 years, at least. The gentleman I am talking about is short, slight, and hunched over from the shoulders, and looks to be in his 80s(?). He walks with quick, short little shuffle steps and is nearly ALWAYS accompanied by a woman who could be his daughter or his wife, (she is somewhat younger..60s ??),and on many occasions by an aide, attendant, or nurse, but 99 times out of 100, by the same woman. On weekends they are frequently joined by a man who could be son or son-in-law. They seem to be Russian and although we have a nodding relationship that includes the exchange of 'good mornings' and once or twice the younger man has asked me which way the others were walking when he showed up in the middle of their walk, I have not spoken to them to find out the backstory. The older man seems to be affected by either Alzheimers or just simply old age, with a bit of a befuddled look on his face at times, and the tone of voice the others use when speaking to him has that character of extreme patience and tolerance used in such situations. But the overtones and undertones of love and affection are also clearly heard.I know they walk at least form Sudbrook Rd. to Old Court Rd., and back, in front of the State Police Hdqtrs. and the Library, and where the now closed Starbucks used to be. I have never seen or heard any impatience or frustration expressed in anyway, just care, concern, and compassion.

And I wonder, could I do that? Would I be able to have the strength and will to be there every day, without fail? I hope that I am never put to the test, for my loved ones sake as well as my own selfishness, and I pray that if ever it comes down to it, I am given the fortitude and empathic ability to remove myself from the equation, and step up to the plate. It is not the short sudden crisis I am talking about, but the long term, day after day loyalty in a known eventuality, with an inevitable outcome that I worry about.

An example of love at the other end of the spectrum can be seen on most Sundays in the small park across from the library and next to the Md. State Troopers Assoc. bldg. at the corner of Church Ln. and Reisterstown Rd., a mother and her young, (11 yr. old..?..) son sit out in nice weather and watch people and cars and trucks passing by. The boy is in some way mentally and physically and/or emotionally disabled, possibly autistic, what used to be called retarded, (and I use the term only for the image it evokes..NOT derogatorily!). He gets excited at certain vehicles and colors, and when people wave or say hello, and his mom encourages and praises his reactions and laughter and his attempts to communicate his feelings with love , patience, and good humor. Being his mother she obviously has a greater understanding of his gestures and vocalizations, but I still get some sense of his feelings and emotions, even from across the street as I am sitting on the bench pretending to read. His occasional frustrations at being unable to say what he means are outnumbered by the more joyous exclamations and actions. I feel that this is due to the gentle coaching and loving patience shown by his mom, who never shows anger or meanness, even when she has to sometimes chastise him or restrain his exuberance.

And Again, I wonder..... is there anyone out there who would do this for me, if I were unable to care for myself??


And if you wonder what brought on the introspection, on Tuesday night I was in the Giant and looked across the store and noticed my eldest daughter, Jennifer, at the checkout. I looked around for strollers or car seats and realized she was by herself, and I remembered what she told me at the Fair, she finally got her license, 11 years after she was entitled to...that's a long time with a learners permit.....lol. I walked over and tentatively offered greetings, and they were returned with a smile, so I walked out to the car with her and we stood in the parking lot for 45 minutes and talked, catching up a bit on events of the past year that we had not talked. We did not notice the time until her phone started to go crazy, it was Tom, who was home with my grand kids, wondering where she was (Sorry Tom....lol).
We left after checking and confirming phone numbers and open ended invitations to call one another. It was a pleasant and much needed surprise to see and talk to her alone, the serendipitous meeting with her and Tom and Edward and Devin at the fair with Rachel seeming to break through the chill and ice that had separated us. And like the spring thaw at the end of a hard winter, a slow melting must be expected before the ice jam breaks away and things flow freely and unabated.......I have patience......
Okay, that's all for now. I've got more, but let's see if this will publish........lol.
Later............Dave




Monday, September 21, 2009

"Street Scene/Street Seen...............OR.......'This Is Dedicated-------To The One I Love'......."

Hi again;

"You Have The Right To Remain Silent......Although Maybe NOT The Ability"...........

Good morning;
It has been another couple of fantastic days as regards the weather, sunny, breezy, warm and cool at the proper times, the perfect time to sit outside with a mug of hot coffee in the mornings and evenings and an iced coffee during the midday, late afternoon period.

Of course the powers that be at the St. Thomas shopping center have decided to renovate the facades and the sidewalks at this time, so the outside seating is no more. It figures.........LOL! So this kinda of messes up my normal nighttime ritual of sitting until 10:30 or so in a nice safe place until it is time to go and lay (lie?) down.

When I signed off Friday, I headed across town to search out some 'bupes' and looked up my friend Barry, (who lives across the alley from and introduced me to Monkee, all those many years ago), who on occasion has one or two. He did and I payed slightly more than usual, but still slightly below street prices. This, even before taking any, did a lot to relieve some of the tension I was feeling. The knowledge that I had meds through the weekend, until Monkee was able to see the doctor, and I had a way to deal with the pain that has been plaguing me, Without having to go out into the 'hood and worry about being robbed or arrested, OR, worse, having to turn to opiates or opioids again, really was as calming as having taken a Valium.
Then it was out to Owings Mills and the coffee shop.
I talked to Rachel and wished her L'Shana Tovah.
I had called a friend in the late afternoon to wish her a Happy New Year, and she came up to the coffee shop for a bit that evening. As we were talking, I mentioned my inability to find a place bathe in the past 2 weeks, (as conversation, NOT a hint or request....the question was previously raised, and answered in the negative....not an option), and she surprised me with an offer of her shower and a ride back to the bus stop afterwards, as a Rosh Hashana gift. Since she wants to remain anonymous, all I can say is, Thanks ever so much, AND...(with apologies to MLK)....."Clean At last, Clean at last, Thank God Almighty, I'm Clean at last!!" ......LOL!

Saturday, I was up early, too early for the library, or to hit the corner on a weekend, so I went to the small park area in front of the library and took some time out to meditate, pray, commune with the universe, call it what you like, and reflect on the Rosh Hashana holiday and the year that was ending and the new one about to begin.
And again, weather wise, so began another beautiful day.
Then it was out to Starbucks around 6:30 am. and was greeted like a returned kidnapping victim, with all the "where have you beens"...etc. I received from the 'morning crowd'.....lol. It was one of those days where I never did get out and about, between Mitch, and Nathan, and Rich, et al, I spent the day in conversation, both inside and standing out in the middle of the parking lot..(it's the only way the smoker's could hang out, with the tables gone......lol). I read and watched DVDs and ate..( my newest addiction....Honey Roasted Pecans from the bulk nuts bin at the Giant...BOTH Giants now have them....lol). Melissa, the manager of the coffee shop, (who is leaving in 2 weeks to move to Israel to attend university, and to be with the Israeli soldier who is her boyfriend, whom she met on her 'aliyah' there), stopped in on her way to synagogue for the High Holy Days services,.....WOW!!! Have you ever seen someone out of their ususal element, and or uniform, and not recognize or do a double take when you realize who it is? I always knew she was attractive, but I considered her more cute, or pretty. [Well, My hats off to you Melissa, you were elegant, chic and sophisticated, utterly gorgeous! If I had met you looking that way first, instead of behind the counter at the coffee shop, I think I would have been intimidated, you were that awesomely beautiful, ( and I am writing this nad not telling you to your face so you won't blush and feel embarassed, and I won't stutter and mumble and fall on my face while putting my foot in my mouth..........lol). Best wishes for a happy and sweet new year in Eretz Yisroael, and good luck at school! I hope you and Dor are healthy, safe and happy.]

Yeah, I know, but you all should be used to my tangential free associative writing by now.
I have been catching the bus about 20 minutes before closing time and going down to Pikesville and sitting on a bench near the Giant or the Library to read since the 'patio' closed, and that is what I did Saturday night.

Sunday, I was up around 8:00 and went into the Giant to get some food and use the restroom, I then sat and had breakfast and then read for what I thought was 30 minutes, (HA!), or so in the shade by the library....3 hours and 40 minutes later..(LOL!!!), I got on the bus and tried to hit the corner. But shortly after I got there, one of Baltimore's 'finest' and his partner exercised their great wit and crime fighting abilities to chase me off the street, by getting on the PA system of their car and announcing.."Hey homeless guy, leave the corner or go to jail.."...and then his partner, who was laughing so hard at his own humor he almost choked, gets on the mike and says.."and then you won't be homeless..", and cracks up. They should do 'stand up' comedy together, preferably while blindfolded and standing in the middle of North Ave. at rush hour. And the commissioner, Bealefeld wonders why folks on the street don't respect the cops....any 'hood rat will tell you...respect is earned!!, and if you want it...ya gotta give it! Well, I just left, and as I was walking down the street to the bus stop, I saw another woman who panhandles around there also and warned her about those 2 cops. As we were on the bus stop the cops slowed down and I nodded towards them to show the woman who I meant, the cops stopped for the red light, rolled down the window and said..'what did you say to her?'...I told him I was just exercising my First Amendment right to free speech, and didn't he get the message that the Commissioner and the Mayor had released concerning Constitutional rights, and what was his badge number, by the way?...he covered his badge with his hand and the other cop pulled off quickly, and I could not see the license tag number because it was smeared with grease and dirt...(and it was an unmarked car....how convenient, huh?)....and there were 9 shootings this past weekend, kinda makes you think.......hmmmmmm?
After that I talked to Monkee and stopped by there for a while, and grabbed 2 bupes for the next couple of days, on credit, and headed out to the coffee shop for my first cup of the day.
That brings us up to Monday, and here I am at the library. I may try to go to the other corner in a few minutes when I am done here, but...the adrenaline is gone and the nerves are twitching... I may wait a day longer, I have enough for one last cup of coffee, a little bit of food and $4.00 on my Independence card, and...meds 'til Wednesday at least.
It is the typical end of the month money crunch, a little earlier this month because of my excursion to the State Fair with Rachel, which makes it all worthwhile. I am starting to have some concerns about finding clothing though. I stopped past the Goodwill store and there was next to nothing in larger sizes. I'll figure it out, just gotta have faith, and stay grateful.
see you later.......................Dave









Friday, September 18, 2009

"L'Shanah Tovah Tikatevu"..............OR............"Pencil Me In........(WAIT!!....Make That Chiseled In Stone!!!!!!)......................"

Greetings;
And Best Wishes for a "Sweet and Happy" New Year.
......................Dave

"Quem Deus Perdere Vult, Dementat Prius........................."


Good Morning;
It's seems as if it's going to be one of 'those' days.
You know, nothing major is wrong, but all the little things appear to be conspiring against you, from the weather to your body to electronic and mechanical devices....and in the background is the faint but unmistakable sound of poorly suppressed laughter.

It's drizzling and misting enough to keep me damp, but an umbrella is useless.
My phone is dropping calls for no reason, and when the call does go through, the battery keeps popping loose.
The buses are not even close to being anywhere near on schedule, and EVERY driver so far has had an attitude.
I am OUT of meds, and so is Monkee, and her new doctor is being difficult and not returning phone calls, so we are both in limbo.
I ache in all my joints, except for the ones have me in excruciating pain.
My sinuses are throbbing, and I feel like taking a power drill to my forehead for some DIY pressure relief.
All the damaged nerve endings from the thoracotomy are on fire and even the slightest touch of my shirt on my skin is driving me nuts.
The magnetic strip on my Independence card has gone bad.
The one doctor at the clinic who is familiar with my case file is away on leave.
I have not found a place to bathe yet.
The 'ex' is being a jerk, in regards to my simple and reasonable request to just have her call me each night as she is going to bed to say good night.
The St. Thomas shopping center is undergoing a face lift, and the outside tables at the Starbucks have been removed for the 'duration', meaning that I've been leaving at 8:39 pm. and riding the bus or train to kill time until I can go crash out in the shed.
I STILL need a shower!
I have been eating too much, and too indulgently.
My ankles and lower legs are puffed and swollen, and my skin feels stretched and taut as a drumhead.
My blood pressure is up.
My mental state is down.
I was unable to show up at the funeral yesterday, (for a multitude of reasons), and I feel bad about it.
It is now getting gray and foggy, cool and damp outside, and I don't want to, (but have to), go out and find someone to get me some 'bupes' on the street.
I'm going to have to pay 'street price + a running fee'....which will use up my cash reserve, (all $10.00)....which means I will be out on the corner at evening rush hour, whether/weather I want to or not.
My friend Allan is in the hospital due to a persistant infection on/in his foot.
I miss Rachel.
I feel like a pariah or a leper, as if I should be walking around ringing a bell and shouting..."Beware, Unclean...Unclean..).
It's Rosh HashaNa, and I have no one to share it with, especially Rachel, and even though I am not religious, there is a sense of missing something.............
I just noticed a misspelling of the word Psyc(h)ological in the header of this blog, and neither YOU nor I caught it...since last November..............lol.
Any and each of these things (and other assorted crap that cannot be mentioned in this forum), are only litle annoyances alone and separately, and even a few together are no big deal, but.................
"mixed well and sprinkled generously over a heaping dish of clinical depression, and garnished with some fresh self loathing and pre-holiday anticipation of a post-holiday letdown....."
...........and you've got one gourmet quality, award winning, 4 star, ****, 2 thumbs up, case of--- "The Blues" !
Ah, well.............SH*T HAPPENS.
..................................later............Dave





Wednesday, September 16, 2009

"Just Desserts..................."

Good Afternoon;
Well all my clothes, such as they are, (thin, threadbare, unraveling, holed, and falling apart.....and in some cases too small, [we can debate the reasons for that in another post......lol]....but CLEAN!!), are washed, now I MUST!!! get a shower or bath somewhere today!!! (Or formally claim the title; 'Lord Of The Flies'..........lol)
I went down to the corner yesterday and ALL the corners were taken by people who I did not want to take a chance of being accidentally connected with, some were from the 'junkie-crack head-dope fiend' crew, and one was the 'angry-aggressive-ghetto thug' drunk, and there were a group of mid- twenty white males and females who have occasionally been on the corner this summer. They are not locals, (one MAY be), but have been traveling, by thumb, around the country. They look like a combination of Dead Head and Post-Apocalyptic/Neo-Hippie...(Think Jerry Garcia "morphed" with Rambo and Mad Max). None of these types are beloved by the police and I chose to.."Keep On Truckin'...".....lol! I went past Camden Yards, just in time to witness the tail end of some type of confrontation with the police, so I got off one train and right back on the one that pulled in going the opposite direction.


(Sidebar)
(another example that every once in a while assholes get what they deserve)

(As I was exiting the first train, (Light Rail), some wanna be tough guy construction worker raises his leg and pushes on my shoulder bag, causing me to fall forward down into the step well of the train car,(which, on the Light Rail, is steep and about 3 feet deep), I automatically and instinctively reached out and tried to catch the railing and stay upright, on the step below me, a woman was standing, off to one side, (the train was packed). I crashed into her and fell to my knees and managed to twist around and plant my feet on the pavement of the platform, the woman ended up sitting on the steps with one leg folded under her. As the door could not close due to her other leg in the doorway, I was able to witness the asshole laughing and grinning. The woman's friend, a biker type who must have been 6' 10", and 300 lbs., says "you think that's funny asshole...laugh at this", and proceeds to pick him up, [above his head!!] and throw him down into the opposite step well, and then tosses his heavy tool bag on his head. He, (the asshole), started whining, "please don't hurt me", and other assorted courageous things, and the big guy said, "stay there and don't move of talk until I tell you to". An old black woman who witnessed the whole affair from start to finish as she was about to get on the train asked me and the woman if we were okay, and when we said we were, she got on the train and as she was passing the asshole she asked him if he was okay, when he said he was not....she hit him in the face with her cane and said "Good!, you ain't nuthin' but a 'punk' no-how!!!", and sat down to applause. At this point the train doors closed and the train pulled off, seconds before the MTA police walked over to see what the commotion was, I told them it was nothing someone had just 'missed a step', and dropped his bag in the step well. They said okay and walked off, and I got on the train pulling in, with added impetus.....lol.
Rumor has it that the asshole 'exited' the train at the Cherry Hill station, with the same manner of assistance that he attempted to offer me, but somehow 'forgot' his tool bag, which a half dozen 'concerned citizens' promptly took onto their custody and divided the contents between them, for safekeeping 'until such time as they could be returned to their rightful owner'. Citizenship in action!!!.............................)
I called it a day and went up to the coffee shop for a couple hours and the hit the laundromat, and made it back to Villa Vile around 11:00 pm.
This morning I got up about 7:30 am. went to the Giant for coffee and my morning cleansing. I got on the bus and the train and hit the corner for a while about 9:45 am. For a change Jillian was on the Mt. Royal Ave. side this morning so I got a window of about an hour after rush hour that netted me about $13.00. My legs and ankles were swelling up for some reason....(D.S.S. to see if I can get an answer on my health insurance and then the clinic tomorrow. Most likely hypertension again, I have been out of Lisinopril and could not get a refill for a while now.)....so....here I am. Now I am going to the Starbucks for coffee and whatever I have left to make for lunch, and hope to find some kind soul who will let me bathe. I may have to call AnnaMarie and see if I can come out to Lutherville.
The funeral is tomorrow and I NEED to shower!
See You later.........Dave

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"ReCap, Redux.................'

Back again;

To continue, I stopped in at the gas station, as I have been doing most nights now, whether I need to use the facilities or not. I have struck up an acquaintanceship with the night clerk, Daniel, (who is from Kenya, and was a journalist with the Kenya News Agency, which was/is more of a state controlled propaganda ministry tool than a real news service), and we talk and watch TV and (if solvent) play the lottery, {not to brag...but, I really do collect some really interesting and diverse, and out of the ordinary people....lol}.

Well, after my guilt ridden expostulation of Saturday, it was only appropriate that the first person I see in the store is the tall, geeky black homeless guy I snubbed....who promptly demonstrates all the characteristics that I find annoying and repelling. He is in the store accosting...yes that is the word...everyone and asking for money, and he comes up and interrupts me in the middle of a transaction and starts asking for money too. I looked him in the face this time and told him no, and he kept on bugging me.....I again told him that I had nothing to spare...(and I did NOT, all I had was already accounted for and set aside for legitimate needs, with no wiggle room. Mostly meds, and money for the laundromat.) He kept pushing up on me, and trying to cajole me, and con me....now the store has already run him off many times when the boss is there, so I said to him that the police had stopped me and were asking if I had seen him, and when I turned around he was heading out the door like a bat out of hell.
Okay, it's back to either ;

Mode A): Ignore him....................................
or
Mode B): Stare him down, and run him off.
and
IN BOTH Modes.....no more guilt.................

Yesterday, Monday, I went to see Monkee and see if I could help out in any way, and get the funeral info..( Thursday; 11:30 am.), and got my weeks supply of 'bupes'. I then went up to the coffee shop and had a much needed caffeine infusion. I strolled down to the Giant and had a chance to slip into my 'coupon commando' personna, and took advantage of all the store reductions and discounts, and ended up with the equivalent of 5 [FIVE!!!] cold cut subs (complete, but with 'some assembly required') for $2.29...and 4 desserts for $1.49....the most expensive item was the tube of Pringles @ $2.00!! A great bargain, but I think I've had enough deli for a few days.....lol!
I read and watched DVDs and did all my crossword puzzles until I caught the 12:06 am. bus back to the gas station, said hello to Daniel, and used the loo, and slipped silently past the police who were hiding in the parking lot (and believe it or not....eating donuts......lol), and crawled in to my "Mildew Mansion" and lay down to sleep. Bingo!! wide awake again, so I watched 'Law And Order: Season Five', until the battery died...(as usual just far enough into the 3rd episode to be annoying.........lol......the battery hold about a 2 hour charge, and each episode is about 45 minutes long!). I got up about 7:30 am. and got a cup of bad coffee and at the Giant and did my morning ritual, then sat in front of the library until it opened and read....and here we are again. Allan is here and after I sign off I am going to chat with him and then I have to go and raise some cash on the corner and then hit the old "Suds And Psychos, Self Service Laundry And Freak Show", I'm down to absolutely no clean undies!
NEXT.....Where To Shower...one man's continuing quest to conquer the evils of swamp ass!!.....?????
Alright I'm out of here, see you tomorrow.....unless you have hot water and a towel, then I'll be right over.....Dave


(I just read this today in Brandon Sanderson's SF/Fantasy novel "The Well Of Ascension", [Book II in the 'Mistborn Trilogy']...
"Insanity is no excuse for irrational behavior.......A man is defined not by his flaws, but by how he overcomes them.")


"ReCap........................."

Good Morning;
It's another beautiful day in Baltimore, at least weather-wise, in other matters, it is a moderately attractive day........lol.
So, I am finally dried out after Friday and Saturday, and my joints are back to creaking and cracking instead of aching, throbbing and 'squishing', every time I move. Everyone knows that 'soggy joints' are just nasty.....(and bad manners too........lol). I spent the rest of Saturday drinking hot beverages and waiting for the rain to end, which it did just about bedtime. Sunday morning I sat on the bench in front of the library, in the sun, and had my coffee and donuts..('freecycled')..and read until Noon, when I went down to the corner to try my luck, and I did get lucky. The 'good' side of the street, (or at least in the thinking of most of the 'junkie-crackhead-dope fiend' crew ), was already taken, but...for the right person....at ceratin times on a Sunday the 'slow' side is actually a better place to pick up a quick $20.00, IF, and it can be a big IF, one hits the proper 'window of opportunity', when some particular churches services are over and everyone is leaving. I had not been by there at that time for a while, and it was quite pleasant, money aside, when some folks passed by, and in a few cases, pulled over and stopped, and asked how and what I was doing, and where had I been. A few (area residents) mentioned that they had been looking in on the blog and had seen Rachel and I at ArtScape in August. It was/is touching and gratifying that people actually remember and care. After an hour or so the other side was empty and I crossed over to the Expressway ramp, where I spent half my time laughing and goofing around with Billy the Sunpaper vendor. All in all I ended up with around $23.00 for 2 hours, but it was one of those days where being out there was actually fun, most people were in good moods and the weather was awesome.
I headed up to the coffee shop and spent some time with Nathan, in our semi-regular late Sunday afternoon bullsession. Then I went to the Giant for dinner and dropped a buck on the Keno, and forgot to check it. After the Starbucks closed at 8:00 pm. I wandered back to the Giant to use the restroom and found the keno ticket in my pocket, and was able to have it checked only seconds before they shut down the lottery machine for the night...$25.00!!! I spent the rest of the night reading and, splurged on a bottle of decent beer too.
Back soon.........times up.....Dave

Saturday, September 12, 2009

"The Buddy System....Somewhere Between Butch and Sundance....And....Stan And Ollie....OR....Maybe Dean And Jerry....And....SpongeBob And Patrick??..."

Hello Again;
Last time before I go off and get my coffee infusion.
First, Welcome to my Nightmare, Paul, thanks for following for so long, (if you are the 'ArmyGuy'???), if not, welcome also!
I have fallen into a very companionable friendship with a fellow patron of the Starbucks and also who I see at the computers at the library. We said hello and nodded for months before we even spoke, and now have somehow morphed into a sort of budding 'Bromance'......(never thought I would ever use that truly awful, but extremely descriptive and accurate term........lol). Allan is half a decade older than me, and grew up and roamed in the same areas I did. We have similar tastes and senses of humor, and differing economic statuses. He has been telling me, as a confidant...not to boast, about his developing relationship with his new 'girlfriend', and also about his son's baseball tournaments and their travels, and the college scouts and coaches interests and proposals. We are sometimes like fraternity brothers or college roomates sharing confidences, and sometimes like alumni at a reunion sharing memeories. It is still a fairly new friendship, but seasoned with age and experiences. I have not had a 'running buddy' or close male friend, (that was not drug related, back in the day, but that is another couple of volumes in itself.......lol), for a long, long time. A dozen years at least since I had a true friendship, and 15 since I had anyone (male) I would trust with my 'back' or my life, not that we are anywhere THAT close, but it is nice looking forward to having a guy friend, who is more than someone who I see in a bar or in the coffeeshop only, and that is the limit of each other's knowledge of the other's lives.
On the same topic, I saw Nathan and his lovely daughter Kaitlin....(if you read this dear, do not let it go to your head....lol), yesterday, and He is someone else with whom I am cultivating..(I Hope), a growing friendship. We seem to have a similar set of tastes and dislikes....(EXCEPT...for his fondness for cigars....Sorry but I can't stand the smell of burning sewage........LOL), and enough differences to keep it interesting.
Well as the progressive midget said..."Onward And Upward"!, we shall see where it leads.
Now I am really leaving, I Need Coffee...and food!
The library re-opens on Sundays on Sept. 27th, so for 2 more weeks, you get a reprieve from my semi coherent...(on a good day!....LOL)...ramblings at least on "The Lords Day"....(NOT the Sabbath, no matter what you may think or may have been told......look it up!!!)....
I've got to hit the corner tomorrow anyway, unless anyone has a dire need to assuage a guilty conscience by performing an act of charitable giving???....Tzeduckah anyone???............Just Kidding....sort of....
In case it rains I've got a stack of DVDs from the library for today and tomorrow.
Spencer Tracy and Mickey Rooney in "Boys Town"
Cary Grant and Grace Kelly in "To Catch A Thief"
Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron in "An American In Paris"
Charlie Chaplin in "The Gold Rush"
and "Law And Order", the Second and Fifth Seasons.
Gotta love the Public Library System!!!
Adieu, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersein......................................Dave

"AAARRGGHHHH"

Good Morning Again;
The cool weather and the rain are playing havoc with my joints, but at least the messed up left foot and the screwed up right knee are balancing each other out today, leaving only the deteriorating discs in my lower spine to influence my gait. I'm moving in a manner that is somewhere between Frankenstein's Monster and a drunken sailor who just made landfall and still has his sea legs, with a little bit of classic zombie thrown in.
I was unable to get comfortable again last night, a combination of the physical discomfort, the weather, and the insomnia that is one of the ways my depression cycle begins it's 'luge run down the frozen mountain of ice bound despair'...(I'm not that bad yet....I just liked the imagery......lol....HEY I'm a writer....it's allowed!). But I do feel like crap, and my eyes feel as if they have been sand blasted.
I went by Monkee's to pay my respects last night and to see about the viewing and funeral arrangements..(nothing yet, still waiting on the V.A. bureaucracy), [and she had a couple 'bupes' for me, so I am okay for a few days and have a buffer period to acquire some cash for a full weeks supply], and I think my presence actually pleasntly surprised a couple people there that I showed up, but, she has developed, over the past 10 or more years, from someone who was nothing more than a 'connection' to a 'fellow traveler' to a true friend and confidant. Our differing backgrounds and outlooks and viewpoints each help the other to understand, and hopefully bridge somewhat, the cultural and racial divide. And we like one another as friends, with no romantic entanglements also.
Times up, again...........later.............Dave