Monday, May 28, 2012

" In Memoriam......................"

Good Evening;
A grateful thank you to all who served,
and for those who gave all.

Poetry Lovers' Page: Decoration Day by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

And asking your help and remembrance for those veterans who are living on the streets today..........


Sunday, May 27, 2012

"Score Another Point For Compassion And Generosity.................."

Good Evening;

So...I'm on the bus heading over to the coffee shop and talking with the driver who is acquainted with my situation and familiar with the family dynamics between my daughter's and me. I was telling him about how I had sat out last night until almost 2:00 am. watching tv behind the library with the portable plugged in (and using only just about a foot and a half of my thick heavy duty 50 foot extension cord so I could set the tv on the picnic!) because the shed was so hot. And about my shopping trip to the Giant that morning tying to figure out how to make $3.38 last for 4 meals, (a one dollar pkg. of hamburger rolls, a $1.59 pkg. of 4 "veal" patties, and a $0.50 cup of yogurt .... $0.29 left over). Also how the shed is still there, 2 months after I was told it was supposed to be demolished.

There was a woman who is a regular rider on that route, I think she works at the Shopper's supermarket in Greenspring Shopping center, who also knows the driver. I did not realize she had been monitoring the conversation until just as she was getting off the bus when she put something into my bag, saying, "I think this is yours" and headed off the bus. I looked and it was a $20.00 bill! WOW!
Besides needing the cash, the very act was a boost to my spirits, reaffirming and reinforcing my (recently battered and diminishing) faith in the innate goodness and decency of most of humanity.

Gotta go closing time....but see you tomorrow.


Saturday, May 26, 2012

"Saturday Evening Post...................."

Good Evening;
First off.....

It is Memorial Day Weekend,

Don't forget to take  minute to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for us who are here today, "Freedom isn't Free"!

And also think of those Veterans who are Homeless today, oft times as a direct result of the physical and mental and emotional tolls that their experiences in the service of their country put upon their bodies and their minds. Find out how you can help at the link below;

National Coalition for Homeless Veterans (NCHV)

As for me, here is where MY head is at right now,
click the link below,
don't want much....just:

In my Own Little Corner............


Thursday, May 24, 2012

"What Would I Do For A Klondike Bar?.................(Or A Shower?)................."

Good Afternoon;
So, I've  been here in Monkton since Monday night on an extended monstersitting  visit, extended by the thunderstorms of the past couple days and a "hell with it, I'm not driving in that, stay another night"

It has not been all fun and games though, between my daughter and her mother in law not speaking, Devin getting her 4 year old vaccination shots while still not fully back to herself after her tonsillectomy, (and being a bit of a spoiled prima donna), by a truly evil, vicious, nasty nurse's 'tech.'! Jenn DEMANDED to see the Doctor and the Nurse Manager was called into the conference about this c*nt's behavior, and surprise-surprise!....they knew exactly who it was without even asking!

I started with her manhandling a scared child and yanking and pulling the blood pressure cuff so hard Devin was in tears, then mouthing off nastily to Jenn when she said something. If I had been there and the bitch had jammed my child or grandchild with a needle so roughly and purposely to make her scream with terror....well she'd have no teeth!

Add in no A/C and the ridiculous humidity in this house, with no shades to be drawn on the sunnyside windows, and the batshit m-i-l opening and closing windows totally opposite of the proper way and times to ventilate the house resulting in actually increasing the misery to the tension already existing.....

Well, biting my tongue and repeating the mantra..."showers and laundry...clean body clean clothing"... and staying in the basement until 10:00 pm.!
Thank goodness for the couple small fans down here.

I think today when Jenn gets back she is taking me to the train, just in time for the 90+ degree  weekend in the shed........when it rains it pours......literally......LOL!!!!


Sunday, May 20, 2012

"Bland.............The Color Of The Day!.........."

Good Evening;

So....packing up to leave the Starbucks and head back to Pikesville for an evening of outdoor theatre...(aka...the portable tv plugged in out behind the library, or a DVD in the laptop same place)... until ??:?? am.

A nothing day.....plain vanilla, no toppings.
Which is actually a good thing, because I'm at the bottom of the depression curve, and have "lacka-lacka blues" blues on top of that.
 (As in: a lack name it...)

But I ate well, not healthy....but......yummmmmmmm.
Homer Simpon would be!


Saturday, May 19, 2012

"Please Sir..'I'll Have Another'...Day Like This..........."

Good Evening;
Well, today was a good day, (except for waking up at 6:55 am. on a day when I set the alarm for 11:00 am., I fell back asleep about 8:00 am. and woke up for good at 9:00 am.), going into the Giant to wash, shave, make coffee, and get Rachel some of her birthday presents...(A Princess Barbie, [by a stroke of good luck on a clearance sale], a Tinkerbell play/place-mat, and a few candies and 'dollar aisle' items).  I then left and met Rachel, her mother and her boyfriend at the library. They dropped Rachel & I off at the Starbucks here in Mt.Washington on their way home.

We had a Sushi and Fancy Cupcake lunch, and she was given a Strawberry Frappuchino by the barristas for her birthday. Between the computer and running around outside we had a lovely time.

 After watching the Preakness ,(WHAT a great finish!!!!...'I'll Have Another by a neck over 'Bodemeister'.....again!!!), she was picked up and went home and I'm about to pack it up also and head over to the bus stop.The traffic should be sane by now....I hope!


Friday, May 18, 2012

"Gravity, Gravitas, Graveyards................."

Good Evening;

So I'm getting ready to pack up here at the coffee shop.
Back to another night in the shed...alone with my demons.
 It was a beautiful day after another out of sync night, insomnia + loneliness = a running jump over the edge of the abyss and a freefall dive into the depths of depression.....just hope I can pull out and get the 'chute open before I cross the event horizon, and pass beyond the point of no return into the heart of the black hole, where ideation becomes action.


Thursday, May 17, 2012

"Nowhere Man.................."

Good Evening

Well, last night was another insomniac's nightmare, or is it daydream?
Finally got to sleep after 4;00 am., woke at 7:50 am. took meds...and fell back asleep until 12:30 pm.

It was way to late to try to go to the places I told myself I'd get to, S.S.A., D.S.S., and JAI on Monument St.
I hit the Giant, then ended up here at the coffee shop after riding on the slowest buses I've ever been on, if it's not one extreme it's another.

Now it's closing time and time to go out and catch the buses back to the shed.


Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Good Evening;

I'm packing up to head over to the bus now. It looks like another warm night until near dawn again so I'll probably plug the TV in behind the library until ??:00.
I wish that the WiFi penetrated the back walls where the outlet is, or that I had a battery with more than a seven, (-7-), minute lifespan.


I usually babble about something on Twitter late nights;



"Shelter But Not 'Shelter'.........................."

Good Afternoon;

Well I'm here at the Starbucks in Mt. Washington again and the WiFi is working today, unlike yesterday.
Not really a whole lot new this week, other than the 80+ degree weather today and yesterday and the humidity. The shed is steadily deteriorating and drips have become streams when it rains, luckily still below my sleep area. The need to find alternate shelter that is as safe, secure, and secluded, (and for all it's middle of a buy commercial area placement, it has been a "hidden in plain sight deal "), as the shed. I have too much stuff to carry day. Nothing valuable, but necessary all the same, ie. sleeping bags and blankets, clothing, fan, lantern....etc.

So far no luck in either legitimate housing or a hideaway.
Oh, and by the way  did anyone see last (Tuesday) nights newscast? Specifically the story on the thefts of copper downspouting and the resulting police standoff?
On the grounds of the Baltimore County's Westside homeless shelter facility, by at least one resident of said shelter! thanks I'll sleep on the streets somewhere.

My granddaughter Devin is doing better in her recovery from tonsil surgery, and is now more into her Diva persona, than actual pain and

Yesterday and last night and to a lesser extent today, I hurt all over, for no known reason, a deep through the muscle, past the nerves, own to the bone ache that made it hard to even move. Stairs were there own special hell.

I'm out of here for now, maybe before closing I'll have some deep meaningful revelations to


Congratulations to visitor # 25,000!
Your ISP is Comcast Cable out of Silver Spring Md.
and you visited Monday night May 14th
(can't tell the time because of a glitch but it
was either approximately 2 minutes 'til
9, 10, or 11pm.)
on a referral link from Baltimore Magazine's
"Man On The Street" article.

Monday, May 14, 2012

"Voices In The Rain.........."

Good Afternoon;

Well I'm at the Starbucks here in Mt. Washington about to head over to the Light Rail to go up to the Timonium Fairgrounds stop to meet Tom at 4:30 pm. He is driving me back to Monkton where I'll be watching the grandmonsters again tonight.

I woke up about 4:00 am. to the sound of rain on the roof and fell back asleep and woke up a couple hours later to the sound of a multitude of leaks ranging from an occasional drip to a mini Niagara Falls.

I was just about to leave a while later when I heard, no, this time they were REAL!...........LOL...under the carport discussing the office building. They were talking about the ancient HVAC unit and putting an elevator in the building. From the tone of the discussion and what I could peep of the vehicles it seemed as if their was one of the real estate people trying for a sale!??!

Now I wonder if the previous buyers somehow ran out of money, lost, or sold the bldg. next to the shed?

More as it develops..


12 more hit 'til 25,000!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

"Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother.........."

Happy Mothers Day to all you ladies who are afflicted with children. Also... Happy 8th Birthday to Rachel.

So.... I was up at the ungodly early hour of 5:12 am. for no reason at all. I was able to get back to sleep about 7:00 am. for an hour and 3/4 and finally got up at 10 minutes to 9:00 am.
My back and left hip ache and my eyes feel like they are full of sand and the inside of my mouth tastes like ass!, 
(And not the nice clean sexy kinky 'What are you doing, No-N0-yesYesYES, ohhhhhhhh, Oh My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' drive her wild kind of ass either!).

Even though escaping the craziness that had built up last week and had reached it's peak on Friday night after Devin was home from her surgery, was a big relief.....
And hard as it may seem to some, but getting back to my own private little, leaky, condemned, "Unfit For Human Habitation", hole in the wall shed I call
home brought with it an undeniable sense of peace, relaxation, and serenity.
(As well as it's own no less stressful, 
yet well worn and more familiar set of issues.)....
Excess and residual stress symptoms and allergy symptoms merged with all the 'normal stressors' to kick my ass. 10 hours later I still feel like I've been 'rode hard and put away wet'!

I spoke with Rachel on the phone this morning to wish her a Happy Birthday, she is going over to her maternal grandmother's for a BBQ and a dual celebration with her sister whose b-day was the 8th. I'll see her later this week for at least lunch and if I can find the cash, a "Dollar Store Crawl" for multiple presents...(her choice, rather than 1 or 2 larger ones).

I was in contact with Jenn this morning too. Devin still won't eat or drink anything, it all 'feels' weird still, and puked all over Jenn's bed last night. Which is from the meds and/or 'drainage', poor little girl. Tom had to go out for Tylenol suppositories at Midnight, ending up going all the way to Towson to get them....from Monkton.

So everything is relative when it comes to personal misery, at least I can understand mine, can verbalize it, and have more of a choice how I act (or act out).

Another hour and a half here, then back to Pikesville and the shed, and hopefully some uninterrupted sleep.


24 more until 25,000!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Good Evening;

Well.....I just looked at the Site Meter visitor count for the first time in a good while, and guess what, we are only 44 hits away from hitting 25,000!!!!, and there have been 32,612 page views
Who'd a thunk it?

And 1,312 posts over 3 and 1/2 years? 
[Even with a few of my 'extended absences' (aka 'temporary burnouts') that's still 1.0270059 posts per!]

Thanks To You,
Loyal Reader, (and all those folks who logged in looking for something else, said "WTF?", and hung around for a look


"Another Voice................"

Good Evening;

This is a link to a post from a blog "Adventures Of A Once Homeless Girl" ,
title "It Is Not Okay To Be Poor":


"Watch Your Back........................................"

Good Afternoon;
 The link below is to a story on BBC News about Homeless people being tricked into thinking they were being offered a job and ending up being enslaved and used as free labor:

And it's not just the in U.K., in Eastern Europe and the Far East women, mostly minors are kept as sex slaves for "Sex Tourism" junkets by Western and Japanese business men. Even in the U.S. human trafficking occurs with the victims put to work in the sex trade as prostitutes, agricultural workers, in nail salons, and as nannies, caretakers and maids, (in D.C. !!), in restaurants and resorts......

I have not seen it in Baltimore but in N.Y.C. and L.A. many street and subway beggars are 'owned' by gangs.

What I have seen (though not recently) are some real shady looking signs on bus shelters offering 'work + room, board, & transportation' in both English and Spanish,  for both single men, and families.
Anyway..remember...if anybody ever tells you, "it can't get any worse",
.................that's bullsh*t!


Friday, May 11, 2012

"No, I Was Not On Vacation The Past Week!..................."

Good Evening;'s been almost a week since my last post. I've been up here at Jenn's since Monday afternoon on monstersitting duty, scheduled this time. Between Devin's pre-op doctors visits for her tonsillectomy today, and Tom's visit to the opthamologist, and his and Jenn's homegroup meetings, and the heavy rains making for a common sense decision not to drive all the way in and then come back again the next evening, and then both of them having to be in different places on either side of the county when Edward gets off the bus...etc., etc., I've been here all week, and it's been a bit hectic at best.

Then there are the times like today when the dysfuntionality in this house is coming at me from all sides..
(A 4 yr. old who just came home from having an operation and is crying is rated below an "adult's" need to watch television!?)
....and all I can do is keep my mouth shut, and I am even limited here in what I feel I can say, now that certain people within their circles read this blog. There is enough tension and friction here as it is, and it's not like it was at their previous apartment by the Plaza Metro station...3 different buses and a train within walking distance if things became too uncomfortable .... on either side. Now it's a 20 minute ride to the rail head....much of it on roads that make me nervous enough when riding with either of them when they are not driving while near the point of emotional explosion.

Anyway, Devin went in for her operation to "fix my throat" as she puts it, (she's 4), and they left here around 8:30 am. I got a text just before 4:00 pm. saying they were on their way home to Monkton, having just left Johns Hopkins Hospital, and reminding me to pick up Ed at the school bus stop. 30 minutes later, 15 minutes after the bus was due to drop Ed off, Tom calls to tell me that they are just passing Central Booking downtown...AND...that the bus had been in an 'incident', having turned too sharply onto York Rd. in Sparks and clipping a sign post and losing a mirror, and was waiting for the police to arrive for a mandatory report to be filed. Well I walked back up the street to their house, grabbed a chair, a book, and the smart phone and went back to the bus stop, where I ended up waiting another 45 minutes before the bus showed up.....and Ed gets off looking like he was near tears. I was able to get it out of him that a 3rd grader had been bullying him, (Again! this was supposed to have been dealt with by the school), punching and biting him this time. (And there was a substitute bus driver who was not filled in on behavioral issues.) [I would have been sent to school on Monday with a brick in my bookbag, with strict and definite instructions to "apply directly to source of irritation if biting re-occurs"......]
Jenn & Tom came home with Devin about 45 minutes later, via Burger King with carry out for Ed and I.....(and damn it was good, and damn if my system didn't show my why it's called-- 'fast food'

Okay, I'm done here tonight, I should be back at the coffee shop tomorrow and at the shed Saturday & Sunday nights, then back here Monday night because of Jenn's meeting and Tom's school. After that...who knows?

Sunday is Rachel's 8th birthday, and I've had no luck raising any cash, (yet...hopefully!), I'm trying to trade some grocery credits for cash.


Sunday, May 6, 2012

"Family Ties & 'Unties'................"

Good Afternoon;

 So...last night I was up until 3:30 am. not sleeping, falling asleep every time I tried to do anything like read or write..(I had exhausted the battery on the tv by this time)..but as soon as I turned off the flashlight and lay down....'BING'--Awake!
I woke up about  6:30 am. to shut up the bladder and kidneys and took morning meds and fell back into an intermittent sleep until 10:00 am. when I got up and got ready to leave the shed for the Giant. ....until I did my usual precautionary surveillance 'peep' & saw the cop car hiding in the corner of the parking lot behind the lodge building, and pointing right at the door of the shed. Working within the parameters of my philosophy.."Avoiding contact avoids confrontation", I went and sat back down, checking every 10 minutes or so until 10:40 am. when the cop finally took off and slipped out, locked up, and headed over to the Giant to wash up and make coffee and buy food for today. Whether it was a doughnut break, or a power nap, that was one patrol car not in service for a significant chunk of time.

After the Giant I headed to the bus stop to begin the journey over here to the coffee shop, with a minor detour to see what the commotion was over at the library, which I knew was  now closed on Sundays until October
. It was a marauding gang of mostly white, mostly Jewish, senior citizens with their 'chopped' walkers, and hot rod wheelchairs and customized canes milling around terrorizing the populace trying to return books in the after-hours depository while waiting for the door to open at 1:15 pm. so they could make a mad..(slow motion)..rush for the Senior Center's wine and cheese (and Geritol) social.
I heard my name called and it was my cousin Harriet, who is not only a volunteer at the center, but now officially a
We talked for a few minutes and penciled in plans to go to lunch in June.
This is only about the 8th time we've ever met since she found me at the library in March of 2010. 
(Which is more times than I've seen or had contact with my mother or two sisters in...???....14 years for one sister, maybe twice in 10 years for the other sister, and 4 times in 14 years for my mother.....obviously I on't come from a close knit family, it's been decades since I've seen any of the extended family.
That's why I spend as much time as I can with the grandmonsters, and see Rachel whenever I can and make an attempt to talk to her every night.

I made it to the Starbucks about 2:00 pm. and here I sit, it's been a lazy day
and I'm about to shut down the laptop, eat dinner and roll out to the bus...unless John offers me a ride again. Hopefully I can get to sleep early, I have to meet Jenn at the Light Rail stop sometime tomorrow afternoon, so she can take me back to the house to monster sit Monday night and Tuesday morning.....and some other dates in the next 2 weeks before, during, and after Devin' hospital visit for tonsil and adenoid surgery, that I can't remember. I want to get past JAI if I can to have blood taken, and sometime before the 23rd I have to get to their Monument St. location to see someone, about something....(vague enough for!).


Saturday, May 5, 2012

"Sticky & Stanky.................................. And ...................................Dreams Do Come True----(Mostly)................."

Good Evening;

Well it was nasty-sticky-humid out today, like Baltimore in summer not spring.
I made it down to Monkee's eventually, no thanks to the MTA. I was on a train stopped?/stuck? in the tunnel for 30 minutes. Half the drivers are too arrogant/lazy to tell the passengers what is going on and actually curse people out when they call on the intercom to ask for information.

I got the rest of my meds for most of the month, so that is one less headache.
After that, it was the bus and train up here to the coffee shop.
I had just finished moving to another table and went into the bathroom to shave. looked likeWhen I looked over I saw that the table next to where I had moved was now empty, and decided to grab it so I could be in the corner at a single seat table. In the amount of time it took me to turn around, grab a napkin and finish drying my hands and turn back...someone had placed a back pack on the bench and went to the register to order.

 She came back while I was facing away from her and did not see my face before I saw her. When I looked up and saw her hair, I thought, 'Another hairstyle like Michelle's', and began to laugh to myself because yesterday I saw 3 different women who I thought were her at first glance. I dreamt about her last night, in the intervals of waking up and massaging the cramp out of my lower right leg.....(not fun!), and she was on my mind recently anyway. When she sat down and I saw her face, and that it WAS Michelle, I just sat there with a big 'ol shit eatin' grin on my face until she did a doubletake, started,  cried Dave, and got up to hug me. She has been on sabbatical from MICA, and we jut have not had time to hook up and talk, between my running up to Jenn's, and her ferrying her daughter Remy here and there, and spending time in her studio painting. It was a short but pleasant reunion.

Time to pack up and get ready to head,


Friday, May 4, 2012

"Back in B-More......................&........................Everything's Relative.........................."

Good Evening;

Well I'm back in Baltimore for a couple days. I got back Thursday afternoon, & last night & tonight I was/will be back at the shed.
I went into the Giant last night for 2 minutes and when I came out it was pouring like crazy. I ended up waiting under the overhang for 20 minutes before I could walk away from the store to head to the shed.
Once I got inside the skies broke loose again and I never did make it over to the gas station. I fell asleep to the rhythm of the drips and streams of water coming through the cracks and holes in the lower 2/3 of the shed about 11:30 pm. and woke up about 2:00 am. and was in and out until 9:00 am. when I finally said the hell with it and got up.

After putzing around the Giant for an hour and a half and ending up buying only a tomato and a banana I stepped out into the humidity of a Baltimore summer....WTF? We have had some weird weather the past year or so.
 Caught the 12:54 pm. bus to the Plaza station, which changes into the  bus to Mt. Washington..(and beyond) and have been in here ever since. The A/C here is on a strange cycle/timer and only kicked in when the humidity inside seemed to match that

I am waiting to hear from Monkee about whether to come by tonight or not and pick up meds after she gets off work, but she has not texted back. I really need to know so I can figure out my bus schedules before it gets too late.

Yesterday my cousin Harriet, the long lost relative I never knew who lives in town and saw the Jewish Times article with me on the cover back in Feb. 2010 called to see how I was. We had been out of contact for close to a year.
I had also been in an e-mail conversation with the other long lost relative I never knew from Los Angeles earlier in the week.
Odd, but nice that it happened that way.

Okay, I have to start packing up now,


Wednesday, May 2, 2012


Good Evening;
Below is a link;

Well I'm up here at Jenn's, at her apt. at her mother-in-laws house in Monkton. I came up Monday afternoon to the Hunt Valley Light Rail were Tom picked me up and drove us back to the house. The 20 minute trip was made in almost complete silence as he seethed and stewed over financial issues that started with him getting a check from a client that bounced, and like avalanches and shit....everything went downhill from there. The ride set the basic tone for the last 3 nights and 2 days, exacerbated by the fact that Jenn and the m-i-l have not spoken more than 10 words for almost 2 months.

Anyway I've been watching the grandmonsters and staying downstairs until after the m-i-l goes to bed or is in the sun room with 'the jesus channel/Fox News' blaring, and I'm heading back in town sometime tomorrow morning/afternoon whenever Jenn drops me off at the Light Rail.

I've been playing with the Twitter account when the mood strikes me, just a shorter version of the blog, or retweeting some other homelessness relate tweets.
LessCide is the address if anyone cares to look in.

Did not sleep last night, so I'm going to try to pass out now...