Tuesday, March 26, 2013

"Dealing With PTSD...... But From The OPPOSITE Side Of The Mirror!...................."

Good Evening;
Well.... right after my last post on the 14th I got a text from Jenn saying he mail got there and she was sending something down to me in Mt. Washington by way of her cousin, (my niece through marriage # 1), who works at the Mt. Washington Tavern.........

It was a portion of my accrued S.S.I."back benefits" from S.S.A.!....
And of course in typical 'Dave's Lack-a-Luck' style I got it 2 minutes after the banks closed,
and there was no check cashing store open I was able to get to in a neighborhood where I wanted to wait on a bus stop with 2 Grand in my pocket....lol!
So... I ended up sleeping on the library sidewalk with the check tucked away in my shorts...lol!


I'm over Jenn's and have been here since last Wednesday night, and spent the 5 nights before then, Friday the 15th through Tuesday the 19th in a motel. I'm looking for a cheap week to week or month to month room while waiting to find out about what housing assistance I will be receiving.

I went and bought needed socks, jockey shorts, jeans, and even a pair of boots and sneakers, all on sale and clearance priced......and under $100.00!! Of course if I had went shopping with only $100.00, none of it would have been on sale....lol!

I really have not been in a mood to write in the past 2 weeks, now that I have my S.S.I., and actually have money in my pocket. I have not been able to find a cheap room in a decent neighborhood, where there were dozens available when I could not make the rent. I'm also
going through a type of 'post-partum depression' too, kinda like the after holiday letdown one experiences when the tree comes down and the tinsel is gone.
A large part is that it still hasn't sunk in yet, and until I actually DO have a place, ANY place to call home, it probably won't be able to. And I keep waiting for the dream to end, to wake up and find out that it WAS just a dream, and I didn't really get anything.

I know it is strange, but for a long time all I had to hold onto as an identity and a defense against totally losing ALL hope, was this image of  "the Homeless Blogger", that through
their honest and innocent  praise and encouragement, a lot of people helped me build as a facade. And now.....I have to figure out...... What do I do, and where do I go, next?

More Soon,

{And now I've also got to delete the disclaimer to your left real soon......lol!}

1 comment:

elana snyder said...

congratulations on your progress. irecall how amazing it was when i got my 3k back payment. it went fast!