Good Evening;
So......Thursday's individual meetings at HCH (Health Care for the Homeless) with my S.S.A. caseworker and my mental health caseworker ended up being pretty damn emotionally intense and also productive. We are still in the beginning stages of our professional relationships and luckily I feel comfortable enough to establish a bond of trust that allows me to open up with them.
Usually the process of developing medical case histories and answering questions about past and present events, emotional and mental states, physical histories, etc., etc., etc., is longer and slower as limits are reached (and hopefully exceeded), and trust is earned. I feel such an honest interest and compassion in Margaret and Sean and a rapidly increasing rapport that has allowed me to reveal more intimate details in less time than I normally would have done.
Part of the information will be useful in presenting the S.S.I. case, and all of it will be germane when I see the psychiatrist. And to paraphrase a thing they say in N.A., "with time-- more will be revealed". And I'm counting on this going two ways, because after years of hearing the echoes and reverberations of some of the crap the 'voices in my head'.. (both my own and the seemingly infinite tape loops of other's comments I have not been able to let go of [for a whole shitload of reasons that I'm not going into here!]..).. have been repeating I'm getting to the point where, well.... 'Somethings Gotta Give' as Sammy Davis Jr. says!:
Somethings Gotta Give
So......Thursday's individual meetings at HCH (Health Care for the Homeless) with my S.S.A. caseworker and my mental health caseworker ended up being pretty damn emotionally intense and also productive. We are still in the beginning stages of our professional relationships and luckily I feel comfortable enough to establish a bond of trust that allows me to open up with them.
Usually the process of developing medical case histories and answering questions about past and present events, emotional and mental states, physical histories, etc., etc., etc., is longer and slower as limits are reached (and hopefully exceeded), and trust is earned. I feel such an honest interest and compassion in Margaret and Sean and a rapidly increasing rapport that has allowed me to reveal more intimate details in less time than I normally would have done.
Part of the information will be useful in presenting the S.S.I. case, and all of it will be germane when I see the psychiatrist. And to paraphrase a thing they say in N.A., "with time-- more will be revealed". And I'm counting on this going two ways, because after years of hearing the echoes and reverberations of some of the crap the 'voices in my head'.. (both my own and the seemingly infinite tape loops of other's comments I have not been able to let go of [for a whole shitload of reasons that I'm not going into here!]..).. have been repeating I'm getting to the point where, well.... 'Somethings Gotta Give' as Sammy Davis Jr. says!:
Somethings Gotta Give
or, you may prefer the Beastie Boys who have their own song,
(and a little better grammar):
Somethings Got To Give
But seriously, it was a fruitful day at HCH, even though when I left there I felt like I had been used as a tackling dummy for the Ravens as they practiced for Sunday's game at Pittsburgh....that had been made up to look like Big Ben Roethlisberger!
I decided to go to JAI on Friday, since it was past 12:30 pm. when I got out of HCH. I just came back to the apartment, fed the cat and myself, then just chilled out.
I walked down to the Safeway for bread and milk that evening and ended up puttering around in the food store until my hip and back ached, but I ended up getting over $50.00 worth of food for $17.00...I love double coupons, Club Card discounts, and the Meat Clearance shelf & the 'scratch and dent' rack, plus a bunch of 'in store bakery' cake slices were reduced from $3.99 to $0.99, some almost a whole 1/4 of an 11" round cake!
I love having (even temporary use of) a refrigerator!!!...LOL!
(yEAh!! StiLL On tHaT sUGar HIgh!...........lol!!)
Friday I met Evan at the City Paper to get the balance of the check for this weeks column:
(and a little better grammar):
Somethings Got To Give
But seriously, it was a fruitful day at HCH, even though when I left there I felt like I had been used as a tackling dummy for the Ravens as they practiced for Sunday's game at Pittsburgh....that had been made up to look like Big Ben Roethlisberger!
I decided to go to JAI on Friday, since it was past 12:30 pm. when I got out of HCH. I just came back to the apartment, fed the cat and myself, then just chilled out.
I walked down to the Safeway for bread and milk that evening and ended up puttering around in the food store until my hip and back ached, but I ended up getting over $50.00 worth of food for $17.00...I love double coupons, Club Card discounts, and the Meat Clearance shelf & the 'scratch and dent' rack, plus a bunch of 'in store bakery' cake slices were reduced from $3.99 to $0.99, some almost a whole 1/4 of an 11" round cake!
I love having (even temporary use of) a refrigerator!!!...LOL!
(yEAh!! StiLL On tHaT sUGar HIgh!...........lol!!)
Friday I met Evan at the City Paper to get the balance of the check for this weeks column:
http://citypaper.com/news/columns/shelter-from-the-storm-1.1402759
then went past Monkee's for meds for the weekend.
After leaving there I went to JAI to get the paperwork for D.S.S. filled out, and to get my right knee looked at. (I am still dealing with pain from the fall at the Giant..2 months? ago?...damn time flies sometime, I've lost count!)...and a new script for blood pressure meds. When I got there the receptionist told me my Doctor was booked and overbooked and there was no guarantee I would even be seen. Instead of waiting 4 hours for probably nothing She suggested I come back Monday by 8:30 am and get in line and sign in, and since I did not need a full exam etc. I could most likely be seen between appointments fairly early.
Which I plan to do then head directly to D.S.S. and get a signed and stamped receipt for the paperwork as I hand it directly to the caseworker, and NOT! 'customer service'..(HA!).
Tomorrow, Sunday....(no...it's Today already!)....I am going to speak to the 5th and 6th grade students, (and I think their parents were invited too.....yikes!), at Beth El Synagogue's Sunday School program on homelessness and poverty, I've got to get up by 6:00 am. to catch the bus/train/bus to meet a ride for the rest of trip.....and of course, I'm not sleepy now. I will be good practice for Monday, When I have to do basically the same journey to D.S.S.
Anyway, I better try to get a few hours sleep, if my nerves will let me. All the introductions and arrangements have been by e-mail, and I know NONE of the principals, except Evan from the City Paper, who knows the Rabbi from CJE, who spoke to the kids previously, and after seeing my column and his story back when he was Editor of Baltimore Magazine, suggested me to the school's staff and their Rabbi, who contacted me......yeah.... I'm dizzy too.....lol.
Later...............................Dave
then went past Monkee's for meds for the weekend.
After leaving there I went to JAI to get the paperwork for D.S.S. filled out, and to get my right knee looked at. (I am still dealing with pain from the fall at the Giant..2 months? ago?...damn time flies sometime, I've lost count!)...and a new script for blood pressure meds. When I got there the receptionist told me my Doctor was booked and overbooked and there was no guarantee I would even be seen. Instead of waiting 4 hours for probably nothing She suggested I come back Monday by 8:30 am and get in line and sign in, and since I did not need a full exam etc. I could most likely be seen between appointments fairly early.
Which I plan to do then head directly to D.S.S. and get a signed and stamped receipt for the paperwork as I hand it directly to the caseworker, and NOT! 'customer service'..(HA!).
Tomorrow, Sunday....(no...it's Today already!)....I am going to speak to the 5th and 6th grade students, (and I think their parents were invited too.....yikes!), at Beth El Synagogue's Sunday School program on homelessness and poverty, I've got to get up by 6:00 am. to catch the bus/train/bus to meet a ride for the rest of trip.....and of course, I'm not sleepy now. I will be good practice for Monday, When I have to do basically the same journey to D.S.S.
Anyway, I better try to get a few hours sleep, if my nerves will let me. All the introductions and arrangements have been by e-mail, and I know NONE of the principals, except Evan from the City Paper, who knows the Rabbi from CJE, who spoke to the kids previously, and after seeing my column and his story back when he was Editor of Baltimore Magazine, suggested me to the school's staff and their Rabbi, who contacted me......yeah.... I'm dizzy too.....lol.
Later...............................Dave
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