Gimme Shelter

Hi again;

I wanted to comment on the subject of Homeless Shelters to those who have not actually had the experience of staying in one, and yet keep referring me to, and promoting them. In most, (but not all, particularly the very small, private, shelters with limited bed space), homeless shelters, the atmosphere can only be described as miserable; the majority of the clientele are either professional "shelterhoppers" who can tell you the 'best' facilities on any day of the week based on the culinary excellence of the gourmet dining, from 'Hobo Stew' (don't even ask) to baked beans to 'Pasta Surprise' (I repeat, don't ask), and when and where church and volunteer groups drop off bag lunches while one is waiting in line for the doors to open, or alcoholics and addicts in active addiction, at some times high or at other times detoxing, or ill. {I AM NOT JUDGING THEM, how can I, having been there myself...I just choose not to sleep in that toxic environment, both for my health and sanity, my sobriety, and my personal taste in companions and lifestyle.....compassion, yes...cohabitation, no}. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people out there in shelters for other reasons, men, women, kids, whole family units, who are in the same boat I am in and most are good people, but being a single male, the options open to me are defined by the intake qualifications the shelter's exercise in their screening, and I tend to get lumped in with the majority. Those who have not spent any amount of time in shelters are not fully acquainted with all the rules, some of which can be extremely frustrating. For example,....1) in the City of Baltimore owned/run facilities, any food you have on you..must be dumped!!!, now, if one chooses not to eat at soup kitchens, OR, if one does not eat all the food items given out as "carry out" for later meals, or the food donated by restaurants or earned as payment for helping a store owner,etc., you can't keep it?!??! All pens and pencils and markers are confiscated. Of course any weapons are conficated, including eating utensils, I have been told to go outside and hide my knife and fork in the bushes or an empty house if I wanted to keep it...BY THE POLICE ON SECURITY DETAIL!!!!!!!!, but I could not keep sealed pkgs. of granola bars. Another happy experience,..... 2) I was carrying my posessions in a plastic trash bag and a yellow gym/duffel bag with the popular decorations and logo of the

B. U. M. Equipment Co. emlazoned on it, and standing under a posted sign, stating: "You have the RIGHT to be treated with dignity and respect" ,{ one of MANY such sentiments scattered throughout the Code Blue shelter}, were a group of Baltimore City Police officers, male and female, as I was finished with the (mostly indifferent, but decent) people at the check-in and security tables (NOT cops) and was walking down the hallway, one Cop calls out, to the hilarity, of the rest,.. "HEY, I see you got your name on your bag, is that in case you forget who you are?" . Now it is not so much the comment that bothered me, in fact it is quite clever, [especially for a city cop], (BAD DAVE,...sorry), but the attitude which inspired it. To many officers, TOO many, we the homeless are, if not criminals, not ordinary civilians either, at some times ignored as nonentities, at others harassed and herded as non-sentients. Another pet peeve;.....3) being in the city of Baltimore, the volunteers/workers (just like the Correctional Officers in and around B-Mo) are quite often related and or friends of the clients and there is a lot of favoritism and let's call it' reverse racism' in effect, as regards to who gets the cots and who gets the floor pads, and things like blankets, or portions and choices in food items if there is a limited amount, instead of 'first come first served' as is policy, and again being B-MO, the culture of "hollerin", is rampant...across the room, at the top of the lungs, no matter what time of night, or whether people are sleeping or not, and this is shelter personnel. More;......4) the general air of stupidity and the perceptive feeling of violence that is always about to erupt, (and sometimes does), over the most idiotic things, I ACTUALLY SAW TWO ' GROWN ASS MEN' ( as they later described themselves, DON'T get me started on that term ) GET INTO A FIST FIGHT OVER WHO WOULD WIN A BATTLE----SPIDERMAN OR IRONMAN!!!...the movie characters!!, I found out later that these two were arrested for stabbing one another at a later date over something as equally deep and relevant to reality. A final annoyance, TIME.....5) this is a two parter, I) Standing outside in line, sometimes for hours, to get bed space...and then sitting through a sermon or lecture before being allowed to eat, bathe, change or sleep, (this is more at the religous shelters and missions), and my complaint is not the brainwashing or the questions one is forced to answer before being allowed to move to the next room, or even the demeaning treatment meted out when checking in, all this is fair exchange for getting out of the cold, if one so chooses to submit to it, what frosts my balls as the saying goes, is the people who wander throughout the chapel during the sermon, eyeballing a group of cold, tired, hungry men, in an overheated room, being preached at by a hell and brimstone type, and if by some chance your eyes begin to flutter or worse you actually fall asleep due to exhaustion etc., YOU ARE THROWN OUT AND NOT ALLOWED BACK IN FOR X NUMBER OF NIGHTS!!!!....This is compassion????? Part Two....At many places one is awoken between 4:30 and 5:30 A.M. and told to fold the cots or roll the mats, and pack up their possessions, and either leave, or if breakfast is available sit through a sermon before being allowed to eat, (usually leftovers from the night before, and lots of bread....just a point of reference for anyone who cares....also, the reason many homeless people look as if they are not, at least body wise, is the amount of carbohydrates in the average street persons diet). In those places where it is permitted to remain inside until 6:00 or 7:00 A.M. everyone is herded into an overcrowded dayroom chapel or old gymnasium, etc., until social workers and/or case workers arrive for the day,(if facility has such services), the 'Homeless Shuttle' arrives, ( it is a free bus to D.S.S., soup kitchens, HealthCare for the Homeless. etc...),[this is actually one of the better services available in the city, another being the easily acquired reduced fare disability transit I.D. from MTA,] , at times, after not being able to get to sleep until 2:00 A.M. or later, particularly on weekend nights, holidays, or the beginning of the month (check days), exhaustion is not only possible it is probable. I would rather sleep in my little hidey-hole, alone, quiet, and reasonably safe and secure, and be able to get at least 6 hours sleep, and not have to hit the streets before anything is open, and before sunrise in reality during the winter months, than stay in "shelters", unless environmental conditions are that severe there is survival issues to consider, blizzard, negative temps., or deadly windchill factors. Anyway these are some of the reasons I personally avoid the shelter and mission circuit. This is not to say ALL are always like this at all times, or that I have listed all my rationale for opting out, and I am aware that this is my choice. There are excellent people and places out there, but factors such as time and waiting lists, and travel distance, and accessibility combine to put these places mostly beyond me....so be it......well it is Saturday night , and the library is closing....."Good Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea!"...LOL........I've always wanted to use that line...

....................DAVE............