Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Year End Gratitude List

Greetings Everyone;
Its Wednesday, December 31st, 2008!!;
Time to take inventory and give thanks, for the tangible and intangible, for the material and the spiritual, and to and for those who have passed through my life, those who have become new parts of me, and those who have intertwined their lives with mine over the course of time.
Some who do not know me well may wonder what a homeless, jobless, companion less man, with the physical and mental illnesses that I am dealing with, (known to me and unknown as of yet) may have to be grateful for, I used to be able to say, like the old cliche' "at least I still have my health", but that is no longer so, the other cliche' goes "it can always be worse", and this is so true, I am able to function better now than I could a year ago, thanks to the benefits derived from taking what to me is a true wonder drug, Buprenorphine. The ads, and the website, use the tag line, "Feel Normal" { } and I have to agree that I did not 'feel normal', no matter how much, no matter how long, no matter what program, until I started taking 'bupe'. So I am grateful for finally being able to make some forward progress on the road of recovery, and grateful for the drug, and to my dear friend, Monkee, for introducing me to it, and enabling me to acquire it.
I am grateful that I have (as of now) three and a half walls and a roof to keep off the wind and the rain and the worst of the cold, and a sleeping bag that will keep me warm to extreme temps., I am grateful to Yakira for letting me use same, and for letting me bathe and wash at the house even though I cannot stay there, and for allowing me unlimited access to my daughter Rachel at their house.
I am grateful to all the folks at Starbucks who have treated me with such kindness and courtesy, and continually extend the hospitality by refusing payment as often as they do,(if I have the resources I constantly attempt to pay, sometimes they take it sometimes they do not, but I don't expect a free ride, although, common sense says be practical and take the gifts when offered). I am grateful for the many new friends and acquaintances I have met, there and the conversations and advice, and the unexpected and unsolicited gifts they have showered upon me.
I am grateful for those who have showed compassion and care, and have given gifts of food, clothing, and money, and advice, as I stood on the corner with my sign, asking for help. I am also grateful for those who did not chose to donate, but took the time to stop and chat, sometimes on a regular basis, asking after my situation, and to those who smiled, or just nodded, acknowledging my humanity, Hell, I am even grateful in a twisted way to those who pretended not to see me while surreptitiously reading my sign, it stokes my slightly warped sense of humor to watch all of you try so hard not to be caught looking, and I am grateful for the poor slobs who throw things or spit or shout out such highly intelligent insults, maybe not at the time, but later, it helps to keep me from being complacent, and keeps me trying to atain humility.
I am grateful to be able to sit here in the warm library, on a computer.
I am grateful for the food stamps that I receive, that I am able to use for my daughter as needed.
I am grateful for Anna Marie, 34 years of uncoditional love and non judgemental friendship.
I am grateful to Yakira for such an incredible little girl.
I am grateful more than words can say or that anyone can possibly imagine for my beautiful, wonderful daughter, Rachel, that she is healthy and happy, and for the opportunity and the ability to be a part of her life, and for the happiness she brings to me and all she encounters and the loving, giving personality she is imbued with. I am grateful that she loves me and wants me in her life.
I am finally and ultimately grateful for the uncounted chances that I have been allowed to have and the mistakes that I am forgiven for. I am grateful to the power that has watched over me, for being allowed doubts and questions of who, what and why, for faith in me when I lost faith in myself, lost faith in faith, for the renewal of the spirit that I am experiencing, and for Hope. I am grateful to God, for everything..............
I wish you all a happy, healthy New Year.......Dave..

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