Ice..Ice..Baby

G..G..G..G..G..Greetings all;

Who turned down the heat? I know it's cold when I exhale and the steam cloud falls to the ground and shatters! Truthfully, I actually was very comfortable last night in my sleeping bag, except for the tip of my nose that I have to leave exposed to breathe. I made the mistake of taking a deep breath when I crawled out of the old fart sack this morning, even out of the wind the air was so chilled it hurt my lungs for a minute or so. I am damn glad I do not smoke! TANGENT ALERT: speaking of farts..I read in the newspaper this morning that scientists have confirmed evidence of methane escaping from the interior of the planet Mars....I know I am twisted but, the first thing I pictured was, LGMs (that is Little Green Men for the S.F. challenged out there) sitting around in a cavern deep within the planet, re-creating the campfire scene from "Blazing Saddles", thank you Mel Brooks!..LOL Today I am staying indoors as much as possible, and I had a comforter dropped off to me (and I got a chance to see my lovely little Rachel for a moment) as an extra precaution for tonight, if I do not find somewhere indoors to crash, as I've said before I Really Hate shelters. By the way, it is the 16th of January and I have NOT stood out on the corner and Panhandled! It may sound like a small thing to some, but even on those days when I ended up with a fairly substantial amount of cash, and I had the peace of mind that financial security to meet my immediate needs and still have a few bucks in my pocket brings, there was always a slight feeling of disatisfaction. (This is really confuckted, because at the same time, when there were not weather issues, I actually enjoyed standing out on the curb and talking to people, yes and taking the money too.... I gotta get to the doctor and get a mental health referral, this love/hate, yin/yang stuff is starting to go beyond my ability to self or auto-analyze.) So living at a level, while still well below the poverty line, but not begging make me feel somewhat normal, and acceptable. My next challenge, besides the priority one of HOUSING!!!, is to become productive, whether it is through employment or volunteer service, (depending on the disability determination, and treatment and/or training...etc.).

Oh yeah, Sunpapers writer Kevin Cowherd e-mailed me back after I wrote him yesterday, and I am hoping to meet up with him next week. Again a small thing to you, but a major milestone on the road to regaining normalcy to me. Without the aid of Buprenorphine, I would not have been able to make even these small steps. Bit by bit...the thing that I must do now is to not let myself be overcome by either hubris or anxiety and keep moving forward, or upward, or onward, (or I'll end up in the Insane Ward!! LOL)....speaking of sanity or the lack thereof, I watched The Marx Brothers.."A Night At The Opera", it is still one of the funniest movies ever made, especially the bit about the ' sanity clause' ..........gotta go ......Dave

P.S.......just so any one reading this knows.....I AM open to ANY assistance, advice, suggestions, to a JOB that I could/can do in EXCHANGE for a PLACE to LIVE; to----(and I am being honest and practical here, NOT greedy or mercenary)---- gifts, donations, or charity; from a place to sleep that is not a shelter; to cash, checks or money orders; to gift cards at stores or restaurants, to clothing or footwear. Hell, I'll take anything that anyone does not want or need anymore but still has value, (and is small enough for me to carry) and I could sell at a pawn shop. To anyone who wants to start calling me bum or leech, LOOK at the first items I listed, you will notice that the words JOB and EXCHANGE are in close proximity....you know who you are..that is why you are blocked from my e-mail.....genius! Sorry about that faithful readers, some people's kids...eh?

Thanks to all who are reading this, your comments, and E-mails mean a lot and matter to me...............Dave