Hi There;
First thing first, I have been a bit off to the side in the matter of topics on the last few posts, and slightly skewed away from the main objective of my blog, the 'Homelessness' and the 'unexpected grace' I have observed and experienced. I shall try to be more balanced in the future.
That being said, I'm here with another story of kindness and generosity.
I was in my usual seat at the (soon to be shuttered forever) Starbucks in Pikesville where I spend most of my mornings (and sometimes all day), and a young Orthodox man (middle school age) and his math(?)tutor sit down and we all exchange the usual pleasantries one does when in such situations, and she (the tutor/teacher/mom?) asks what i am watching on the portable DVD player. ( It was "Secrets of the Code-- The DaVinci Code Revealed" with Stone Phillips, an NBC production from 2005) I mentioned that I got it from the library, where I spent a lot of time and the young man recognized me and mentioned that we had talked about my sleeping bag.....yadda--yadda--yadda, which led up to my homelessness, and a discussion of available aid and agencies....etc. Now the young man Elli, I think his name is, was trying to keep the conversation and distraction going as long as he could, being a teenager faced with schoolwork!! LOL!! So I began to pack up and leave as a courtesy to the teacher and mentioned going to the food store across the parking lot to look for some one I knew to help me convert some groceries to cash, and explained how I was trying to avoid asking anyone for money except in circumstances of dire need. As I am walking out, she, the tutor, (and if you are reading this, I apologize for being so flustered I did not ask your name) hands me a $5.00 bill, I tried to explain that I was not attempting to take any money from her, and I then offered to use the card in her behalf at the food store in exchange, but she insisted, and I accepted for two (2) reasons...the first being that of practicality....at that moment, I had 36 cents left, and a second reason relates to something that a 'rebbe' (a teacher or learned man, often but not always an ordained Rabbi ) recently told me, and which the more I think upon it and apply it to my own sense of well-being and self-esteem make a lot of sense. I Paraphrase- To deny someone the opportunity to perform an act of 'tzeduckah' (charitable goodwill), through mis-guided, or stiff-necked pride is, in it's own way stealing from them, by robbing them of their duty to perform and chance to receive the grace of 'mitzvah' ( both a commandment and a good deed).....by relating to the feelings I have when able to walk in and pay my way, {or at least make the attempt to} when I have the money, and even more so when I can offer to treat someone else, I understand exactly the concept of how deeply intertwined the acts of selfless giving and grateful receiving truly are....NEEDLESS TO SAY ( ever notice the redundancy when we use that phrase...LOL ), this excludes scamming or conning people just to make a buck, and (these days, Thank You God) in my own little moral universe I try to examine both my immediate financial situation and foreseeable cash income, AND my needs and motives before accepting or refusing, I can, do, have, and will continue to, say, 'no thank you', in certain situations. I also try to either pass on or pay forward my good fortune, to keep the 'karma' flowing in the right direction, and hopefully I can now differentiate between enlightened self interest, and egoistical selfcenteredness.
Okay..times up and I think that thought is finished. I would like to tell all those who have so graciously given of their wallets , and their hearts....
Thank You.....................Dave
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