Thursday, February 12, 2009

"Things That Make You Go Hmmmm....." or The 'OMEN'--v6.3

NAMASTE;
You know it's windy out when a plastic shopping bag from the Giant containing a quart of Powerade and a half box of Poptarts flies off of the picnic table and across the parking lot!! Even my sleeping bag in it's stuff sack, (which while it is classed as 'lightweight' still weighs a bit started rolling down the road propelled by the breeze...at least it is fairly warm. I would hate to think what the wind chills would be if we had the frigid temps. of last month.
Okay....Observation...Reflection...Analysis...Conclusion...
#1) Last night it started to rain, heavily, but of a very short duration. At the time I was in my hidey-hole, an unused storage shed, laying out my bedroll and the roof started to leak, about 10 inches beyond the cardboard I have laid out, ( on some shelving so I am around 2 inches off the floor ) and maybe 2 feet past where my feet usually are, ( I tend to sleep on my side, knees bent.....OOKAY..maybe TMI...LOL ). So I was not too concerned about getting soaked, (and it stopped soon anyway), but I took another piece of the steel shelving that is laying around and positioned on an angle to funnel the drips to the tear in the wall, and from there to the ground outside, a quick and dirty job, but effective.
# 2) While concocting above arrangement, I found a homemade crack pipe (plastic miniature bottle..hole in side... foil on neck opening...melted, inside and out).. hidden in the torn insulation in the wall....Grrreattt!!!
# 3) When I left this morning, under the portico that makes up the shed roof and the car port, and next to the wall of the empty building connecting to it, I find a pile of different discount and courtesy cards from various stores, a rain soaked purse, and assorted junk one accumulates. I don't know if it was there when I slipped in last night, it was dark and I was not looking...BUT I have a feeling that it was not, I think I heard some foot traffic outside, but I am not certain. No matter when it appeared, I really don't need that kind of attention brought to the area. ( I gotta be honest and tell you that I picked up the .08 cents in pennies, and looked through the rest of the cards and coupons, luckily I did not find anything that would have caused a moral dilemma, and..as there was no forms of official ID or Credit Cards, I scooped up the mess (with napkins, to avoid fingerprints, hell I may be totally innocent but this is Baltimore, and it is not 'the Butler did it'...it's 'the homeless guy did it'... don't believe me?, hit the streets..listen to the stories of recent guests of the city, county, and state, discounting 50% as typical "It Wasn't Me" lies, and the numbers still overwhelmingly seem to point to 'iffy' case closures.) and dumped it into a trash can. Well... my conscience got to me, and I found a way to 'anonymously' inform a cop...who promptly told me that it would be better if I conveniently 'dreamed' that I found everything, because there were no reports of any kind matching the names on the items, and the paperwork was not worth the effort involved in tracking down whether a crime had occurred or not.........Sh*t..I can take a hint......Grrrreattt....
# 4) My horoscope in the Baltimore Sun,( and I am going from a fuzzy memory here, not a quote.....and I REALLY don't believe in all the pseudo-psycho-pschic vagueness that is usually predicted..BUT every once in a while, there is this leetle, teensy, weensy seed of doubt.....LOL) says to focus on the bigger picture, to try to convince people of a greater purpose, project, proposal to back me on, and to strive for a higher goal for myself......OKAY....I'm open to your offers!!...LOL
MY CONCLUSIONS: I have to stop looking for a place to sleep and start in motion a plan for permanent lodging,...all right God...I CAN TAKE A HINT!!!.. now, if you could please give me a somewhat more comprehensible sign??
YOU KNOW..."PROPHECY FOR DUMMIES"!!!!
Alright, I guess you can tell I am in a good mood, all things considered. As I've noted before, having a few bucks in one's pocket can save one's mind from a lot of misery, even if you don't want or need to spend it.
Part the Second;
( with apologies..{or blame } to Kevin Cowherd, of the Baltimore Sunpaper)
I was reading the newspaper this morning and rotting my insides with coffee (more on that later), and came upon one of my favorite columns, Kevin Cowherd's, today touching on the Motot Trend Auto Show at the Convention Center. The focus being the tough road that car dealers are having in the current economic climate, tinged with Kevin's own unique "TWIST". (When I try to write with a humorous tone, the 'voices in my head' all sound like him, maybe not to you, but I try to emulate what I read/hear)...I have a fantastic, I may even say brilliant idea on how to....** House the Homeless** Bail out the Big Three automakers** Employ some workers affected by the building slump** Remove gas guzzling SUVs from our congested highways** Give Sheila Dixon some public accolades and shift some attention from her present "difficulties**....and I can probably adapt some more current event topics as things progress!!
READY...Here's my idea....( drum roll please... )
Take all the huge Hummers, and Expeditions, and Escalades, remove the wheels and engines, put them up on blocks..(tastefully camoflaged, like a doublewide in a Hillbilly Heaven Trailer Park)..install an electric space heater..(energy efficient..of course) and a light fixture..build a bathhouse and laundry building.....and start moving the homeless out of the shelters and the missions and the parks and abandominiums into these surplus dinosaurs!!!
Take it from me anyone who says that living in a vehicle is not feasible has never spent a night in a shelter or on the streets, there would be a waiting list a mile long!!!
Leather or velour seats....radio..cd ..dvd..cup holders!!..fold down rear seats and fold out tailgates...man that's livin' large!! Between the gangsta dark tinted glass and a few curtains...voila-instant privacy..sunroof/moonroof, just like having a deck..and as for aethetic dissenters..think lovely Busby Berkely style arrangements and layouts, and when the time comes..they are easily moved and transported foe either reuse or recycling!!! It's a win-win situation!! And get this I'm not going to ask a cent for my idea/intellectual property rights, I 'm putting it out in the Public Domain...no, no don't thank me, it is an idea whose time has come...
I'll see you all later....
If Mr. Spock says.." live long and prosper ",
in My universe, it's " Laugh Long-Live Longer "
BYE................Dave

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