Thursday, March 10, 2011

"One For My Baby.......And.....One More For The Road...................."

Good Morning;
Well I'm messed up as regards sleep cycles, biorhythms, insomnia, and depression.
I can't get to sleep because of all the voices inside my head, and then when I do sleep it messes up the cycle so that I'm nodding out in the middle of the day, when I can even force myself to get up and out. Then the meds that do work on the depression tend to keep me awake....at the wrong times. I was up until after 4:00 am. yesterday, and then up at 7:00 am., fell back to sleep until 11:00 am with most of my body too warm and my right foot cold as ice, and my fingers swollen. Called to make another appt. with the PCP to get a referral to a circulation specialist, aka, Vascular Surgeon. Now I wait for a letter in the mail with time and date.


I could not force myself to even start making an attempt to get up until after 1:30 pm., I hurt SO damn bad, physically, mentally, emotionally, it was all I could do to find 10 reasons to keep living. Depression hurts, as the ads say, but add in the known neuro-osteo-spinal issues, factor in the cold and damp of the gathering storm just before the weather breaks, and the damn Fibromyalgia........and it's no wonder I feel like 'two bags of dead mice'!!

But Erik called and wanted to meet so he could take a look at the laptop to see about some issues I was having with it, and offered a shower and some espresso, so I dragged my raggedy ass over to the Giant and made a mug of instant Amaretto Cappuccino Hot Cocoa with 2 extra packets of instant coffee in it for good measure with the water from the faucet, (which is somewhere in the 160 degree range again thank goodness), that was barely liquid enough to drink....as a sort of concentrated kick in the ass to get me moving and soaked a wad of paper towels in the hot water and plastered them to my face, kind of like the 'Three Stooges' or 'The Marx Brothers' in a barbershop/beauty salon skit......THAT got my attention.....lol. Then I went over to Erik's apartment with him and showered and had another shot of coffee while he worked on the computer, then we sat and talked for an hour or so about everything from laptops to camping and survivalist skills, to cats and the 2012 Mayan calendar predictions, to weather and politics.
The shower more than anything else helped along with the human interaction. After that I headed over to the coffee shop to eat and read for a while, then back here to the Giant to use the restroom and get some Powerade. I'm down to my last dollar that has to stretch until April 2nd. when I get some cash.....yeah right... at least I'll be able to eat most of the month and stretch my Foodstamps thanks to someone from somewhere who gave me a B-A-B of breakfast sandwiches......(that's 'big-ass-bag'.......lol.

Anyway it's that time again....

"Set 'em up Joe,
....it's a quarter to three,
....there's no one in the place,
.... except you and me......"

Later....................Dave

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