Thursday, November 19, 2009

"It's A Family Affair....................."

Good Morning;



Let's put it this way, it looks like you are going to get to enjoy these tidbits of mental masturbation for a while longer.

I was told that I needed to get some medical and psych issues addressed first, but it was not their job to help me with that, and they had no contacts or referrals they could send me to. Their job was only vocational issues..???? "Division of Rehabilitation SERVICES"..?!?!?

I'm not feeling like talking about it right now...more details later.

So it has been a pretty up and down couple of days, when I got to the Starbucks after my meeting yesterday, the door opened and I heard "DADDDY DADDDY DADDDDDY!!" and Rachel ran out. She and her mother were going to shop at Whole Foods and had stopped in just that minute to look for me. It's funny, I had almost stayed on the bus, planning to stop at the library, when the bus got caught at the red light and I decided to jump off and catch the train....synchronicity.

As usual, we had a blast, and I put the DORS and Court fiascoes aside for a while. Later on in the evening Jenn showed up with her friend Matt and we visited for a while.

I met a young woman who teaches at Fallstaff Middle School, and we got into a conversation. I had noticed on her laptop something about a Poetry Visualization project, and she explained that she was an English teacher and she was having her students illustrate their poems, since this is the only chance the kids get to do anything artistic, since there are no Art classes in the school. Makes sense doesn't it? The administration cuts out one of the few classes that the kids do like, and which may help to keep them in school?!?

She told me about some of the kids who were on a debate team and were about to debate the concept of giving vouchers to the homeless to counteract panhandling..(they may get either side of the argument). She asked if I would mind if some of them contacted me by e-mail and read the blog to get my opinion...I said sure.

I am of two minds on this subject, partly I am for it to cut down on the aggressive panhandlers, but part of me says, great...another way to make a do-gooder feel all warm and fuzzy as he says 'here you poor wretch, see what I am doing for you', taking away another shred of dignity. I also question the idea of where and how they may be used. Will there be restrictions on what they can be spent on? Who will accept them. Will they be anonymous or tracked.

The difference between having a few dollars of your own cash to spend,..and a voucher that everyone knows what it is and says that you are on the streets; is the difference between holding your head up, and not looking someone in the eye. The means of distribution can also be a denigrating experience if it done poorly.

Did you see the Sunpaper piece about the two homeless men, one a worker, one a client at Beans and Bread. They got into a fight over some ...SOAP!!!...and one chased the other outside and stabbed him. When I was at DORS, and told the interviewer I was homeless, he said.."so you stay in the shelters."

When I answered no, his face kind of froze, and his whole manner changed, even after I tried to explain why. From that point on I knew it was a lost cause.

Let me just state for the record...again...why I would rather keep what little independence and dignity I have left than stay in an 'Overnight Emergency Shelter':

Things such as the incident above, being robbed in the morning when leaving, having things stolen while asleep, having to endure a search of belongings each and every night..and not being able to keep any food or even pens or pencils, having to turn over any and all medications for 'safekeeping' and then having to wait to get them back in the morning. An Infestation of fleas in the City Shelter, trying to sleep amongst all the cursing and shouting....and that is the workers!! Trying to sleep in a room of 10 to 40 stinking, farting, sneezing, coughing, sometimes drunk, sometimes high, sometimes crazy men. Being woken up between 4:00 and 6:00 am. to leave the sleeping area and being herded in to a 'dayroom' like cattle, or having to just go outside. The fights. The attitudes of the off/on duty police who act as security. Need I go on?

I'm about to go get my coffee now.
I am down to to my last $1.79 and my last $5.00 in foodstamps. I have a sandwich and some pastry left, so I have food til Friday. I guess I have to hit the side of the road with my 'please help' sign today or tomorrow, unless I get lucky. I have not even tried the Keno for weeks, money has been that short. I have meds for the next 4 days so that is a relief. I am in need of a shower, and a washing machine and dryer usage, or money for the laundromat, I'm out of 'undies'
Okay, I'm off to see the lizard............
If anybody wants to visit, I welcome the company, the depression has seemed to have stabilized at a moderate level and friends and companionship are craved...( of course so is a big wad of, know where I'll be, at Mt Washington in an hour or so.
..........see ya...............................Dave

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