Good Morning;
Well it's off to the doctor's office after I post this.
The numbness and tingling in my leg(s) is worrying me to the point that I'm going to walk in and wait. Last night my right foot just would not get warm and still feels weird. I also plan to see the podiatrist and have my nails looked at.
Yesterday I woke up as most of us did slightly disoriented by the time change back to EST. I fell asleep on Jenn's couch at 1:48 am. Saturday night/Sunday morning and woke up an hour later at 1:48 am......it took a few minutes to figure that one out....LOL. There was a movie listed on the cable that started at 12:15 am. and ended at 1:15 am. that I had been watching for well over an hour....took me a few minutes to see that the time change had been compensated for already....ain't technology wonderful...lol.
I left Jenn's and went to the Starbucks around 2:00 pm. on Sunday and sat out back in the sunlight constantly moving my chair farther and farther down the lawn, and right and left as needed, to stay in the Sun and out of the shadow of the various buildings and the old smokestack, until it finally dropped behind the last roofline for good. I figure to start a pre-emptive, if ultimately futile battle against S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder), as early and long as possible. I do much better in the lower latitudes!...lol!
Last night the depressive cycle I deal with started it's decline, it varies between a gentle slide to a fairly high and highly functional bottom, and a nose dive to the gateway to Hell and a 50-50 chance of a permanent crash and burn or being able to pull up and out of a flat spin and a controlled wheels up belly landing.
This time the darkness came on like the 3 foot thick, 25 ton, nuke proof Blast Door at Norad's Cheyenne Mountain Hq.;.......At first slowly and imperceptibly moving, but inexorable and unstoppable....inevitable as time and inescapable as gravity, picking up speed and slamming shut with a dull thud and the echo of impending doom. The different personalities usually dueling for dominance inside my skull each react in their own unique way, from curling up in a fetal position either to ride out the coming storm, or in denial of reality...to erecting the facade of normality to hide behind and fool the world, or donning the cloak of bravado and bluff, or.....rising above the fog and mist of illusion and the smoke and dust of the juggernaut of broken dreams and crushed hopes, impotent to change or affect events, but able to watch and chronicle their approach, occurrence and passing.
It get's confusing and crowded at times when you cannot discern your personalities from your hallucinations....lol.
Anyway.....gotta run.....
Doctor,.....then most likely the coffee shop,
then a ride back to Pikesville with Jenn,
and a stop at the gas station and into the shed.
Tomorrow, (if I'm able), I think it's the Dental Hygiene Clinic...
in the morning this time....ugghhh!
Later.....Dave.
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