Good Morning;
Well, my last little holdout of hope was crushed yesterday morning when I called the benefits hotline for my Independence card and the Foodstamps balance remained $0.00.
I need to find $100.00 to pay off last month's debt to gain credit for this month's meds....by Saturday, or I'm royally screwed.
Still in Monkton, but I should be leaving sometime later today (Friday).
I should be able to assemble a small care package of non-perishables, (85 to 90 degree temps over the weekend...(not as badly hated as extreme cold, but not far from the mark)...from Jenn from some things here and if we stop at the Giant on the way to the Light Rail.
My biggest concern is that I will be out of 'bupes' on Saturday, with my credit at it's limit, or close enough so that I may only be able to end up with a day or two's grace. My back has been so messed up in recent weeks that I am as worried/scared/fearful of not being able to function due to pain as much as the bodily dependency issue. I have been slipping bit by bit, deeper and deeper into the fog of depression the past month, above and beyond, (or should that be 'below and behind'), the usual parameters.
Right now, exhaustion plus insomnia makes for a volatile situation, add in the physical pain and the depression and the ideations start bouncing around in my mind, aligning in that same old vicious cycle, hopelessness chasing worthlessness,....faster and faster until they spontaneously combust into the self consuming flame of action.............just to get some freakin' peace and quiet!
Well, my last little holdout of hope was crushed yesterday morning when I called the benefits hotline for my Independence card and the Foodstamps balance remained $0.00.
I need to find $100.00 to pay off last month's debt to gain credit for this month's meds....by Saturday, or I'm royally screwed.
Still in Monkton, but I should be leaving sometime later today (Friday).
I should be able to assemble a small care package of non-perishables, (85 to 90 degree temps over the weekend...(not as badly hated as extreme cold, but not far from the mark)...from Jenn from some things here and if we stop at the Giant on the way to the Light Rail.
My biggest concern is that I will be out of 'bupes' on Saturday, with my credit at it's limit, or close enough so that I may only be able to end up with a day or two's grace. My back has been so messed up in recent weeks that I am as worried/scared/fearful of not being able to function due to pain as much as the bodily dependency issue. I have been slipping bit by bit, deeper and deeper into the fog of depression the past month, above and beyond, (or should that be 'below and behind'), the usual parameters.
Right now, exhaustion plus insomnia makes for a volatile situation, add in the physical pain and the depression and the ideations start bouncing around in my mind, aligning in that same old vicious cycle, hopelessness chasing worthlessness,....faster and faster until they spontaneously combust into the self consuming flame of action.............just to get some freakin' peace and quiet!
Ummm...yes, sleep would probably be a real good idea right now......dontcha know?
Later.......................Dave
Later.......................Dave
No comments:
Post a Comment