Good Afternoon;
Well it's Sunday afternoon about quarter to one and I'm sitting here at the Starbucks in Mt. Washington trying to deal with an unexpected and extremely rapid descent on the 'Deathcoaster Of Doom' into that wild and wacky subsection of the Mental Illness Theme Park known as 'Depression Land',....."Where All Your Hopes And Dreams Go Down In Flames".
Located between the 'Schizophrenic House Of Mirrors' and the 'Psychotica Shooting Gallery' on the corner of Paranoia Pkwy. & Suicide St., just look for the the laser light show being projected on the all encompassing 'Clouds of Misery And Despair' which rise up out of the 'Swamp Of Sadness' every 2 hours, and listen for the 'Prozac Players' on the 'Seroquel Stage' as they perform "Highlights of Souls In Torment from Dante's Inferno".
It is thundering now, and about to rain like hell here....how fitting.
Yeah........thank goodness for black humor. I don't know what caused the oh so sudden crash dive that got me to this level, but the 'external' triggers, root causes, and reasons are pretty simple to determine. Between the hype and letdown of Thursday night's party, losing that $50.00 which has been eating at me and has also pushed over the already precariously balanced financial house of cards for this month, the increasing discomfort and pain I am experiencing in the upper abdomen, the stress and worry over Jenn and family's upcoming move to Monkton and the loss of bathing facilities and regular contact with the grandkids, & the infrequency of seeing Rachel because of logistics and transportation, and the rapidly increasing deterioration of the shed.
There are also some things I'm not ready to put into circulation just yet, but these are all pretty much the same type crap I deal with all the time. What caused the stomach clenching, mind numbing, physically painful, and tear inducing feelings of near suicidal misery and desperation, self loathing, and worthlessness I woke up with this morning and am trying to keep at bay right now I don't know.....but it is no f*cking fun I'll tell you that.
The drenching rain that was deluging the area has just stopped and I am going to run across the way to get something to eat now, breakfast at 2:00 pm......., well as soon as this song is over....Bob Dylan-'A Simple Twist Of Fate'........
Later....................................Dave
2 comments:
Have you ever gone to " Health Care for the Homeless?" They can help you get medical help, Your pain might be the cause of something that needs to be removed. Way back almost 39 years ago, I was not in any real pain, but I felt that something was" wrong" inside, it turned out my gall bladder had died.
Have you ever gone to " Health Care for the Homeless?" They can help you get medical help, Your pain might be the cause of something that needs to be removed. Way back almost 39 years ago, I was not in any real pain, but I felt that something was" wrong" inside, it turned out my gall bladder had died. deep
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