Wednesday, October 28, 2009

"SSDD....................Part Deux.........."

Good Morning;
It's been raining for the past two days and a night and the dampness and grayness is not helping with the end of the month blues. I spent yesterday in the Starbucks, with no money at all, and if it was not for the coupon for a free coffee and the free refills, and the 2 day old pastries I had I would not have eaten all day. Thanks to Molly, Rachel..(NOT mine..), and Patrick and their kindness and generosity, I now have some marked out sandwiches they gave me at closing time, for the next 2 days or so. I have one more coupon, so I'll be heading thee after I finish here. I have to resupply my reading materials and see if there are any classic..(free).. DVDs I have not seen here at this library.
WARNING: Bitching and Whining Ahead, Read At Your Own Risk!
Okay, so I'm sitting in the coffee shop after another one of those conversations where someone has just shot me down in flames and broken my dreams...and isn't even aware of the fact! Why is it always that when I am at the most in need of affection and intimacy on a physical level and I am at the lowest point of having anything 'material' to offer, when I am unable to even take care of my own needs beyond the most basic primitive levels; that I seem to meet people on an intellectual level, to even be attractive to some? Is it because I offer no possible threat of involvement, due to socio-economic lack, and my own self deprecating moral code, (twisted as it may be), that I am finding myself surrounded by attractive , intelligent and friendly women. Who, totally innocent of any possible guile or motive and also totally clueless of any idea that I may have feelings that could extend beyond simple friendship and camaraderie, begin to confide and confess intense and personal details of their lives and their loves, thereby ruining any possibility that I could tell them that I DID have a romantic attraction to them. And we will not even BEGIN to discuss the ones who are either too young, too married, or too gay! Sometimes, BFF can mean Big F*ckin' Fool!! Hell I've even had a hooker crying her eyes out on MY shoulders! You'd think that after 35 years I'd be used to hearing as a compliment, in one form or another, "Oh, that's not a guy, that's Dave..."
As usual;
Same Sh*t Different Day

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