Good afternoon;
It's a kind of gray and dreary Saturday, with the rain undecided whether to start or stop. I puttered about in the Giant for an hour or so this morning and saw Mike, the 'Fishmonger' (I think that is the first time I have ever used that word in it's proper connotation before.....lol), for the first time in a while, (though I did hear him the other night/morning around 2:15 am. buzzing around and around the parking lot in circles on his scooter, turns out he was trying to see if I was in the 'shed' and would come out.....lol), and we chatted. I'm just playing on the computer until I go to the Mt .Washington Starbucks later on.
I notice that there have been 2,750 visitors to my site since it started in November, all by word of mouth, or accidentally stumbling over it, or my little slips of paper with the address on them. No big deal really, except to me when I see that each day there are about 10 or 12 visits by the same folks, and in toto, 85% of the visitors tend to return at least at irregular intervals.
Thanks folks, for what it's worth, you all make me feel that I have some purpose, and something, even if it is just my silly attempts at humor, to say. It may not mean much in the grand scheme of the cosmos, but in the microcosm that is my life...it helps keep sanity from intruding and dragging me back to the cold hard reality of how depressing living on the streets can be. In the 12 Step programs there is an often overused and misinterpreted phrase..."Just Fake It 'Til You Make It"..., well, in my case, in this situation, it is saving my ass. I figure if I keep on associating with those at socio-economic strati well above mine, maybe some of it will rub off, or at least I can grab some crumbs as they fall......lol. But seriously, I have seen too many people become so weighted down and overwhelmed by their own perception of their lack of self worth due to monetary reasons, they begin to avoid, totally, those who would accept them as equals on an intellectual level. (Luckily, my at times over-inflated ego blinds me to my own realitty......LOL). I obviously have my bad days and weeks, (as I have inflicted upon you often enough), but there really is an underlying vein of hope that threads it's way through this blog, and that keeps me going. It is fed by many sources, some major, such as Rachel, and my love for her, and Jenn Tom and my Grandkids, the gifts and donations of those many unnamed drivers....(who I will NOT be seeing much anytime soon, thank you Baltimore's finest), and the Gratitude I feel towards them. Some minor, like the simple satisfaction of splurging on the better quality Deli meats for a sandwich, just because I can sometimes, or NOT spending the money because someone gave me a bag full of mark-outs and pastries. And the ability to recognize and appreciate the 'little blessings'.
Which brings me back to all of you. Seeing the traffic on the site counter, and sometimes the comments and e-mails in response to certain posts, (and BY THE WAY....WAKE UP OUT THERE!!!!, how about a little more stimulation?, some feedback?,.....even complaints, insults, bitches and moans are welcome......like the old standup comedy standby..."I know you're out there...I can hear you breathing!!!!!!"...............LOL). Anyway..........Thanks.
Let's see, Friday...I went out early to Monkee's to pay her off and get a few day's supply of my meds, 'on the arm' as it were. It is a good thing being trusted and having credit...(where it matters, in the real world). I then had to go down to 6 St. Paul St. to the MTA Transit Store to get my Monthly Disability Bus Pass because the vending machines at the train stations had the passes removed already. (Last weekend's 'mini-vacation on the County' messed up a lot of my timing.). I then went out to Mt. Washington to Whole Foods and the Starbucks and sat outside on the back patio for hours. It was a truly awesome day, with perfect weather. Windy, sunny, leaves changing color, and the quality of the light......when I took of my glasses and looked out over the Jones Falls..(the river, NOT the expressway...LOL), it was as if I was in the middle of a French Impressionist painting, ala Pointillism.
"Un dimanche après-midi à l'Île de la Grande Jatte"
(1884 by Georges Seurat)
meets
"Friday afternoon at the coffee shop"
(2009 by Me)
Allan stopped by for a minute to say he would not be stopping by...(really...LOL), and then later on about sunset, he stopped by..(LOL)!
We talked for a few hours and were sitting outside around 9:15 pm. when this lovely young stopped by, and we told her they were closed and she asked if the Starbucks minded people just sitting out there after they were closed. We laughed and told her no, that's what we do all the time, and asked her to join us. She did, it turns out that her 16 year old daughter was at a dance at The Waldorf School, and she lived out near the Pa. line and needed somewhere to kill a few hours. Now I looked at her as we were talking and started doing some figuring, if her daughter was 16, and if she had a baby at 16...then she would be..32, which seemed realistic because she looked in her late 20's to me...(and I admit I am not the best at guessing ages...if I worked at carnival, it would go broke..., and it is really hard in todays world anyway to tell a woman's age),...boy was I wrong!!, she was 44 Years Old!, and beautiful and sweet and nice, and funny and interesting, and articulate, and entrancing, and enchanting. (Infatuated you say...MOI!!...never happen, I believe in "Love At first Sight"!!......LOL).. (And did I mention she lives out in the back of beyond......AND is involved with someone..............SIGH!!!! story of my life...)...{But Becky..you can still read the blog and write me, right??..and I can worship you from afar??.....LOL}. But seriously, you are a lovely person, and Allan and I hope you enjoyed our company as much as we enjoyed yours.
I'm outta time..............Later.........Dave
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