Saturday, January 23, 2010

"A Good Day.."

Good Morning;
Well yesterday was a pretty good day in that it was calm, quiet and routine. A day the likes of which you yourself might have experienced...(minus the sleeping outside in the shed of course...lol!). I went to the Post Office and mailed Janet her copy of the book, wrote and responded to a bunch of e-mails, talked to Rachel on the phone, stopped at the food store, checked out som books and movies from the library..and paid off an outstanding fine, rode the bus and the train, had some coffee at the Starbucks..(where I asked to share a table with a young woman because it was so crowded and got into a nice comversation with a new aquaintance)..[and also took the recyclables and trash down to the dumpster for Ashley and recieved a whole bagful of sandwiches, pastry, and fruit and cheese trays....Thank You Very Much!!], reading the paper and my book and listening to music, (reading and listening list to follow..lol, and the high point of the day was when I talked to AnnaMarie on the phone as we were both outside watching the International Space Station transit the evening sky...

{Attention!!: Saturday Evening..(tonight!!)..at 6:20 pm..(give or take a minute or so)..it will again be visible starting in the north-northwest sky, heading to the southeast, as a bright!!! steadily moving light...it's so damn cool!!....[Space Geeks Unite!!!....LOL!!]....watch for it...I will be!}

...then buses back to the gas station, where the Keno gods must have been on vacation..lol., and then, and here is where your average day and mine begin to differ again, back to the shed, where I listenened to 'the upper middle class white skate punk wannabes', (sk8rboyz), click, clack, crunch and crash for an hour or so in the parking lot nearby, then I went to sleep, about midnight, getting up twice to perform the 'cold shoe quick step' out to the tree and back. Pretty much an ideally low key, no pressure day out on the streets, (ameliorated by spending as little time as possible actually 'on the street'!).
Library List:
Books:
"The year of living biblically : one man's humble quest to follow the Bible as literally as possible."..A.J. Jacobs
"Marsbound"..Joe Haldeman

"A Deadly Shade Of Gold"..John D. MacDonald..(A Travis McGee novel)

Movies:

"Good Night And Good Luck"

"The Court Jester"...(Danny Kaye)

"Monster House"


"One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest"..(Jack Nickolson)

CDs

"Trick Or Treat"..The String Cheese Incident

"All That I Am"..Carlos Santana

"Real Live Roadrunning"..Mark Knopfler and Emmy Lou Harris

Jennifer and I are both reading "The Year of Living Biblically......", concurrently, I left it at her house and whoever grabs it first..(usually on the way to the bathroom to escape the kids.....all you parents know what I'm talking about....LOL)...reads it until the other snags it.
I expect to be back over there Monday night to babysit and spend the night, (if not before), so she may have finished it by then. But...with Edward in his latest 'cranial-rectal' phase....nah, she is more likely using at a missile....LOL!

I mentioned yesterday about the relief and danger of having enough meds in hand for a long period, if any of you are addicts in recovery, or even want to be but not there yet, you'll know right off what I mean. For the rest of you I'll try to explain, the sense of complacency and overconfidence, and the knowledge that I could F*ck up and use, and have an easy escape route is part of the insidiousness of the disease of addiction. It tells you things, like 'just this once', and 'you can control it', and 'you deserve a little pleasure, after all the sh*t you've gone through'....etc. And there is also the tendency to possibly overuse the medication, taking it a little more, or more often than really needed, for a legitimate reason, but not waiting until the pain is really bad.

And on top of that, when I was at Jenn's I was putting an infrequently used pan away in one of the up high, out of reach of the kids, and not often used cabinets in the kitchen, when I ran across Tom's insulin syringes.....talk about a shaky, scary experience. A pocket full of cash, spikes, and a guaranteed misery free escape from withdrawal.....I packed my bags and left like a bat out of hell...I'm no stranger to temptation....and like the song written and performed by Lari White says..
"Lead me not into temptation
I already know the road all too well
Lead me not into temptation
I can find it all by myself"
I gotta admit it was a tough moment, but I passed the test...this time...which is the one thing I have to remember, every roll of the dice, the clock starts all over again.
Now to go feed my other old and my latest adiction....
Coffee!!!!!, the machine was broken...AGAIN!!...at the Giant.
[So I got a bottle of "Mountain Dew**Throwback**"-Made with REAL!! Sugar!
OMG!!!!!! it kicks ass!! High fructose corn syrup sucks, those cheap corporate bastards!!!]
and....
Quaker Minis, Crunchy Rice Cakes, (today it is the Kettle Corn flavor),
..Sweet and Salty....MMMMMMMmmmmmm!!
I should be back Monday afternoon on the way to Jenn's, (with the library opening at 1:00 pm. on Sundays, I am usually settled in somewhere already, so coming back here is an iffy thing),
{I am trying to find something neat to do with Rachel tomorrow, all depending on the weather.}
because I am meeting Paul, a longtime follower for coffee and breakfast in Owings Mills, and I plan on spending some time at the Starbucks at St Thomas Center while I am out there, if anybody I have not seen out that way wants to stop by for a visit..(Janis?, Rich?, Nathan?....????).
See you later....Dave


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