Thursday, October 11, 2012

"HCH - Visit One.......................Making A Giant Leap Of Faith.......In Order Take Baby Steps............."

Good Evening;

So...I'm here at thee Starbucks on the laptop using Corey's powercord, and dealing with the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees as best I can,
they are not too bad just now.....'knock silicon'!

Well......Margaret picked me up and took me to HCH, (Health Care for the Homeless), which is a beautiful, new facility on Fallsway next to the the 'Juvie Jail'. She introduced me to an LGSW and he took me up to his office and we talked for about an hour. He asked me a slew of questions from the Depression Screening Exam, then with some other questions regarding 'mania' came up with a probable diagnoses of Bipolar Disorder 2, (see your APA DSM-IV), which I had not known of, or that there were 2 levels, the main difference being mania (1) vs. hypomania (2), and an abnormal difference in mood (1) vs. a merely noticeable difference (2), and people exhibiting (1) experiencing delusions and hallucinations, with possible psychosis also.
It was hard finally 'coming out' with some long hidden truths, but cathartic also to find someone else, a professional to again tell me, I may be "Nuckin' Futz", but I'm not crazy, even though my life is a  bubbling pool of insanity.
He then consulted with another counselor/psychotherapist, who then questioned me independently. They talked in private and then he came back in and we talked about Bipolar 1 vs. 2 and the next step of seeing the psychiatrist...who is an MD.

I left shortly after that and stepped outside to figure out where the buses ran and which routes were where. As I looked around at various clients lolling on the steps outside the building, and groups of homeless men, (mostly), standing around in the parking lots under the expressway, whose look and actions fit the stereotypical vision of a homeless person...[think hairy, dirty, wearing too much clothing, loud, crude, & (in some cases), stoned or doped up, drunk or drinking], I decided that I'm just barely comfortable coming down there to seek help...but there was no chance of my coming down for any other reason, such as the Our Daily Bread soup kitchen, the City Shelter, missions or any organized social affairs that might be arranged.

I go back on the 29th to formally go through the intake process and meet with my LGSW*, (*I have not yet asked if he minds me using his name here), and see what's next.

He mentioned getting into their Suboxone program, to save money, because the prescription plan I have should cover it, but then said
I'd have to come down there EVERY DAMN DAY!??? like a Methadone program!!??
WTF.....?! not going to happen, either I get a month's supply like any other drug or I'll keep doing what I'm doing. There is no way in hell I'm getting involved in that mess again, after at least 6 years of being dope and pill free!

Anyway it is close to closing time and I need to give Corey his cord back and pack up.


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