Tuesday, August 4, 2009

"Heat Waves...........and ...........Brain Waves.........."

Good Evening;
It is just too damn hot out!!!
It is Tuesday evening and Rachel was just picked up by her mom. We hung out today, starting at the Starbucks and then taking the bus and Metro down to the Inner Harbor. She had her first..(of many, I had to drag her away....LOL), merry-go-round ride at the carousel at the West side of the harbor,by Rash Field, and we watched the kids playing in the new fountain next to the Visitor's Center that was designed for that very purpose. I had forgotten that it was opened, so we had no towels or changes of clothes, so we are going back tomorrow to run through it for a few hours. We stopped at the Pikes Diner, aka "the Betty Boop Ice Cream place" as she calls it, (stop in there, you will see why), and then here to the library. We were supposed to go out Sunday afternoon, but she had been over her grandmother's all weekend at the pool and staying up late, and had a minor meltdown, and did not want to stay with me when she came to the coffeeshop, ( she was fine after a good nights sleep), and even though I understood, it was a big letdown.
I met up with a new friend later that night, for the first time since we had met at the coffeeshop last week. We had been exchanging e-mails and phone calls all week, and had really seemed to connect. It is such a "thrill-joy-relief-pleasure", (e.-all of the above) to finally meet someone who can comprehend and understand some of the issues I am dealing with, and who truly 'gets it'...but who is not in the same situation, or has the same demons. Sympathy and empathy are wonderful, and those who have given me their support and helped me are appreciated, but up until this point, the only ones who actually understood some of the convoluted reasoning behind some of my decisions, and the basis for some of my fears, have been other addicts.
The term "soulmate" is usually used in a romantic context, but the original meaning has to do with more of an 'extra-psychic' connection, where words are only one vector path of communication, and an unexplainable, almost instant instinctive-intuitive understanding develops......(Think back to those deep and searching nights of philosophizing back in college..but without the pot, mushrooms,acid...etc.,............LOL). For the first time in a long time, I went to sleep in a state of, call it 'relaxed-relief', for want of a better term. Fellow travelers and kindred souls can ease the journeys torments through common experiences and shared fears,.....but finding the outsider who can see past the facade and reach through the self erected barriers to bring light to the dark places of the soul.........well, there are a few sports analogies that are often used to express long odds, such as, in baseball-the Washington Nationals winning the World Series,...in boxing-betting on the white guy,...and trying to fill an inside straight in poker,......in comparison....these are sure things!
Anyway, in other trivia, the Keno gods came through again..Twice!...on Saturday night I had a bad case of 'the curse of Montezuma' and had to run to the gas station and beg CJ to unlock the door so I could use the bathroom. As I went in I said to give me a dollar on a 3 spot, 04/05/13, and when I came out, it turns out that my last dollar got me $25.00..(which is why I was taking Rachel out on Sunday). And on Sunday after Rachel canceled out, I stuck another dollar on the same thing...same result..(but I did not even check the ticket until about 8 hours later...I had forgotten about it when I went down to Monkees to pay her and get my weeks meds.........lol), so I actually ate a real NOT fast food hamburger after my friend left Bateman's on Sunday night when I found the ticket in my pocket.
Monday I slept until 9:00 am., and did not get up til 11:00 am. and finally made it to get my first cup of coffee around 5:00 pm. Nathan stopped in around 7:45 pm. and we both had a much needed 'meeting of the minds'.........( 'guy to guy' version, I do not want to take Anything away from my time with J. on Sunday, on the phone and in person).
I was awakened by all this noise around 3:45 am this morning, it turns out that the Giant is doing a major overhaul of all it meat, fish and deli cases, replacing them outright. They have this huge, but very low profile diesel forklift bringing the old ones out and unloading the new ones from the trucks and placing them on the lot next to where I sleep...between the roaring of the equipment and the shouting of the workers...it scared the piss out of me!....(almost literally, and I could not go outside the shed because I do not wish to reveal/expose my hideaway...........by the time they finally left, my eyeballs were floating.........LOL).
I guess that is all for now, no insights or commentary today, just the play by play.
See you later...Dave

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