Saturday, August 29, 2009

"Heat............Humidity.............Idiocy............"

Good afternoon;

The next person who says to me, "It's not the heat.........it's the humidity", is gonna get 'Z-slapped'!!,....Duh!!!, most of these 'weather philosophers' total outdoor experience consists of travel between an air conditioned building and an air conditioned car, and back in to an air conditioned building. Spend a couple hours in the sun with me and then let's talk....(or we can switch sleeping arrangements for a night..YOU stay in the 'shed' where the temp during the (sunny) day can be a good 10-15 degrees higher than the ambient air temp. outside, and at night after midnight when I usually lay down, the upper 3 feet or so...(roof tops out at around 7 feet)...can be 20 degrees higher than floor level. One can get soaking wet just trying to lay out the sleeping mat and taking off shoes and undressing.


I had company last night, as I was about to stretch out I saw the 'Cricket From Hell' by my pillow, I mean this sucker had to be nearly a foot long and 6 inches high, with a chirp that topped out at around the same decibel level as a 747 Jumbo jet on it's takeoff run. We're talking bad 1960's Japanese horror movie creature feature insect that was exposed to an atomic radiation leak!!! And it wanted to play!!,...and sing!! When I tried to swat it with a shoe, it took it away from me and shook a claw at me, saying "Naughty, naughty, that's a no-no", and gently slapped me upside the head. When I came to, I lured it outside with a stray cat that was hanging around, and threw the cat in the midst of a bunch of 'skate punks' who were on the parking lot of the Giant raising hell, and went back inside and and barred the door with my piece of angle iron.....I heard one of the kids scream, "Shoot it..Shoot it", and I shouted out, "No, No, Bullets only make him Angry!!". After the screaming stopped and the crunching and chewing noises ended, I heard a loud belch and hopping sounds fading into the distance, and I fell asleep.


I woke at 4:30 am. to pee and thought I would stay awake until 5:30 and catch the early bus to the Starbucks for a change, (I have not been there before 10:00 am. in a good while, and I know Mitch and the other morning patrons are wondering what happened to me) and then go hit the corner before the dope fiends and crackheads. But..I fell back asleep with my phone's light on and my book, (Dick Francis--'Slay Ride'), on my face, and it was 9:45 when I got up. I am still stiff and sore from my "Close Encounter Of The Asphalt Kind" from the other evening, so getting moving takes a few extra moments. I went to the Giant to wash up, etc., and get some coffee and some breakfast, (there was a 16 oz. pkg. of Perdue(?) Honey BBQ Wings that normally retails for $6.99, on sale for $2.99 with Bonus Card,..WITH!! a $2.00 off sticker on it...can't beat them savings! With the chips and rolls I already had, and the generic pop tarts, I got a local tomato for $0.68, and found some Minute Maid Orangeade at $1.00 @ half gallon, so some salt and mayo packets from the salad bar were free and so was the coffee. Breakfast and leftovers for $2.67.

I went to check my Mega-Millions ticket, and I am sorry to say, I am going to be writing under this title for a bit longer..................sigh. I spent $2.00 on a Keno and a scratchoff, and won $2.00 so I broke even there. After I (eventually) leave here I am going out into the heat.....AND humidity........lol, to try to get some cash for the State Fair on Wednesday with Rachel, (Neil....Any FREE Coupons?...or Discounts?) I've got $20.00 all day ride coupons for Labor Day,(only), but most likely Rachel will not be available, probably a cookout at bubby and zaidy's, (the 'ex'-in-laws......lol), so I am shooting for the middle of the week, it is usually the least crowded day also. I'm going to see what I can come up with, and depending on the amount, I'm going to 'invest'...HAH!...in the State Of Maryland's general Fund, and see if Lady Luck still loves me...and Rachel........lol.
I am that point where I need a shower badly again, so I am going over to my e-mail now, and see who I can reach.
--Any offers are welcome.--
I'll be back with some thoughts and observations, I have to sign off and on again now,
Later........................Dave

P.S..............How about those pix...is she a natural or what?


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