Good Morning;
Yes, I'm using Gray again today, the roller coaster of depression is on the downhill slope, and the weather and other 'circumstances beyond my control' have again 'synchronized watches', so to say.
I am flat broke, except for coffee money, and out of meds, and it is pouring rain with no letup in sight, so I cannot hit the corner today.
I was supposed to see Rachel yesterday, but her mother never brought her by, even though plans changed from firm to maybe..the lack of a simple phone call is just discourteous......and not seeing or speaking to Rachel, (there was no answer later when I called), did nothing to lift my mood.
I am currently in a state ranging from major pain to severe discomfort due to somehow..????..either fracturing or bruising a bone in my left foot, combined with a strained, sprained, or pulled muscle in same. Ibuprofen, Aleve, or the Suboxone (depending on timing and combinations), dull the pain to a constant ache, but it does not go away, and my weight is no help at all. {And is helping to fuel the depression...but this is a factor I can...(not necessarily will..I do enjoy my last indulgence....lol)....control.}
I am down to my last 1/4 of a suboxone..(bupe), and Herpel, Monkee's husband died last night, or early this morning, so I have to arrange to meet her between all her necessary appointments to renew my stock this evening. (Her suggestion, I was about to go out to the streets). He was sick with cancer for a long time, so it has been expected, but the last time we talked about him..(Thursday of last week)..he was actually up and moving about some, so the onset must have been very sudden. I have mentioned in earlier posts how he outlived the V.A.s attempt to disconnect him from life support..WITHOUT!!..any authorization from family, and had issued a D.N.R. order..(Do Not Resuscitate)...and tried to first deny then hide the fact. He was a Vietnam Veteran with Agent Orange exposure and resulting troubles, that compounded as time went by, who was first ignored and then quietly accepted for benefits...after making a stink. It seems somewhat appropriate that the anniversary of 9/11 is his death date.
Okay, no politics.
[Ironically today is also my daughter's 5th wedding anniversary, obviously not Rachel's, but my eldest, who I saw a week ago at the fair.]
Having all my clothing start to self-destruct at the same time is no help either.
And to top it all off, I feel bloated....damn male PMS!!....LOL
Allright, I'm done whining. I have to try to trade some food credit for cash, if I can find anyone, so I am out of here for today.
See you tomorrow.....................Dave
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