Good Morning;
It's seems as if it's going to be one of 'those' days.
You know, nothing major is wrong, but all the little things appear to be conspiring against you, from the weather to your body to electronic and mechanical devices....and in the background is the faint but unmistakable sound of poorly suppressed laughter.
It's drizzling and misting enough to keep me damp, but an umbrella is useless.
My phone is dropping calls for no reason, and when the call does go through, the battery keeps popping loose.
The buses are not even close to being anywhere near on schedule, and EVERY driver so far has had an attitude.
I am OUT of meds, and so is Monkee, and her new doctor is being difficult and not returning phone calls, so we are both in limbo.
I ache in all my joints, except for the ones have me in excruciating pain.
My sinuses are throbbing, and I feel like taking a power drill to my forehead for some DIY pressure relief.
All the damaged nerve endings from the thoracotomy are on fire and even the slightest touch of my shirt on my skin is driving me nuts.
The magnetic strip on my Independence card has gone bad.
The one doctor at the clinic who is familiar with my case file is away on leave.
I have not found a place to bathe yet.
The 'ex' is being a jerk, in regards to my simple and reasonable request to just have her call me each night as she is going to bed to say good night.
The St. Thomas shopping center is undergoing a face lift, and the outside tables at the Starbucks have been removed for the 'duration', meaning that I've been leaving at 8:39 pm. and riding the bus or train to kill time until I can go crash out in the shed.
I STILL need a shower!
I have been eating too much, and too indulgently.
My ankles and lower legs are puffed and swollen, and my skin feels stretched and taut as a drumhead.
My blood pressure is up.
My mental state is down.
I was unable to show up at the funeral yesterday, (for a multitude of reasons), and I feel bad about it.
It is now getting gray and foggy, cool and damp outside, and I don't want to, (but have to), go out and find someone to get me some 'bupes' on the street.
I'm going to have to pay 'street price + a running fee'....which will use up my cash reserve, (all $10.00)....which means I will be out on the corner at evening rush hour, whether/weather I want to or not.
My friend Allan is in the hospital due to a persistant infection on/in his foot.
I miss Rachel.
I feel like a pariah or a leper, as if I should be walking around ringing a bell and shouting..."Beware, Unclean...Unclean..).
It's Rosh HashaNa, and I have no one to share it with, especially Rachel, and even though I am not religious, there is a sense of missing something.............
I just noticed a misspelling of the word Psyc(h)ological in the header of this blog, and neither YOU nor I caught it...since last November..............lol.
Any and each of these things (and other assorted crap that cannot be mentioned in this forum), are only litle annoyances alone and separately, and even a few together are no big deal, but.................
"mixed well and sprinkled generously over a heaping dish of clinical depression, and garnished with some fresh self loathing and pre-holiday anticipation of a post-holiday letdown....."
...........and you've got one gourmet quality, award winning, 4 star, ****, 2 thumbs up, case of--- "The Blues" !
Ah, well.............SH*T HAPPENS.
..................................later............Dave
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