"I Hear you Knockin'.......But You Can't Come In!!.......OR.......NoBody Here But Us Chickens!............."

Good afternoon;

I hope everyone had a safe and happy looooonngg weekend. Mine was basically quiet and uneventful, which is a good thing, after the last weeks emotional and adrenal highs. The weather here has been wonderful and unseasonably cool, but then again it's Baltimore, we had 90 degree days in April, and 80 degree days in December, so who is to say what is 'normal'....(you all know that that is a word on which I have relinquished any claim.....LOL).

Since I last posted on Saturday, I have just kind of kicked back and read and watched DVDs and ate as well as circumstances would allow, and drank coffee, {regular in the mornings, 'unleaded in the evenings, and Saturday night I treated myself to some "Aviation Grade-High Octane-'Russian' Jet Fuel"...[the DIY/Zelko+Starbucks version-on my budget,...who can afford the Kahlua........lol]....So!......Будем здоровы!...(Budem zdorovy!)...(Let's stay healthy)}.......{and for Olga....Я тебя люблю (Ja teb'a l'ubl'u)}

While we are speaking Russian.....here is another very useful phrase,

a true conversation stopper:

{Моё судно на воздушной подушке полно угрей}

{Moio sudno na vozdušnoy poduške polno ugrey}

The Translation is left to the student.

I was laying in the magnificent squalor of 'La Maison Miserable' around 8:15 am this morning about to crawl out and start making my rounds for the day, when I heard voices outside. They were not of the usual tone, timbre, and vocabulary that most of the people walking past have, and I listened a little closer, it turned out to be a real estate agent and a prospective client checking out the office building to which my shed is attached. The voices became louder and clearer and I heard one say that "Oh that shed is empty, there is nothing in there, all the A/C and mechanicals are out here". Well my adrenal glands went on triple time alert, and I held my breath and just lay as silent as a corpse.....not an easy thing to do in combination........lol. Then....the voices got real close and loud....and the door to the shed began to rattle as the client began to pull on it!!!!......Talk about a high pucker factor situation.......(and if I have to explain what that is....you have led too sheltered a life....use your imagination!!....LOL), the other voice said, "Oh, the door is locked from the inside" and they walked off across the lot.....WHEW!!!! After my blood pressure returned to a merely extremely high level, and I was able to 'unclench'.....(and I am not talking about my jaws....lol), I quietly packed up, slipped into my shoes, and peeked out the door...the coast was clear! I slithered out, quick and quiet as a married man from his mistresses' "pied a' terre", wedged the door so it will not blow open, and inconspicuously strolled in to the Giant, where I promptly went into the restroom and checked my shorts for 'stress marks', (not a problem....what a relief..............lol!).

I bought myself some Sushi for breakfast....(smoked eel....it seemed appropriate.....LOL), and a cup of coffee..(the free coffee has ended.....boohoo...lol). Then I sat and read outside the library until the Sun was at an annoying angle, and....here I am.

It must be ' Bring a moron to the library day', or there is an 'aA' meeting here today, ( NO TYPO!!..that is "assholes Anonymous"!), because it has taken me 3 sessions to get this written, and the wait time has been 12 to 16 persons each time with a lag time of 5 minutes per person as they try to sign in...( the process takes 3 lines; first name, last name, library card number .......... DUH!!!.......30 seconds MAX!!), and then......

Hello moron...yes you behind me....common courtesy is not to read other peoples work over their shoulder!

THAT MEANS BACK OFF BEFORE I ELBOW YOU IN THE NUTS!!!!!!!

(Sorry 'bout dat... Sumtimes ya just go ghetto to get da message acrosst....LOL!).

Oh yeah He Moved!!!, started to puff hisself up, then looked at my face and deflated...real fast...........LOL!

(And I'm in a real mellow mood too...lol, I'm listening to 'Polyester Palace' channel on the Rhapsody.com radio, where you are invited to:
Polyester Palace
Pull up a plaid recliner and sink into the plush soft rock sounds of 1970s.

Nothing conducive to violence here!!

Right now I'm ..."Hooked On a Feeling"...by Blue Swede..you remember....."OOGA CHAGA...OOGA CHAGA...."

times up..gotta go.........Later.....Dave