"Aches, Agonies, Apathy, & Agoraohobia..........OR.........If............'Hope Floats'....I Think It's Getting Waterlogged & Overloaded.............."

Good Morning;

So I'm feeling like 2 bags of dead mice today. My whole left side is in pain, as though I was hit by a truck. My neck, my spine and my left foot hurt so bad right now it makes me want to lay down, curl up in a fetal position and either cry or die. My head aches, my eyes feel like they are lubricated with sand and the inside of my mouth tastes as if the Ravens just held a scrimmage in it....then used it as a hamper for their uniforms. I can't seem to focus or concentrate on anything for more than 5 minutes...it is taking forever just to type and re-type, and then correct all the typos in each sentence. I usually don't need it, but....thank goodness for 'Spellcheck'.

I could not get to sleep last night until close to 4:30 am., I woke up at 6:00 am. as usual and fell back into a troubled sleep and then the alarm on my phone went off at 7:30 am. reminding me I had to be at Prologue about 8:00 am to meet with my caseworker Shelly to review some mail from S.S.A. regarding the claim and it's request for reconsideration.

I got there and met her as she was walking in the building and we looked over the notices. I could barely keep my thoughts straight enough to read and then fill out the few lines necessary on one of the forms. I have to go to the S.S.A. offices at the Plaza to drop off and maybe talk with one of the case managers there, but I'm not going to be able to do it today. The date on this form letter states that it must be in by 08/15/10, and one of the other letters says 08/21/10....but right now I cannot deal with talking to anyone or answering any more intrusive, (and at times 'trick' or 'loaded'), questions. I'm going in first thing Monday morning. To tell the truth....right now, at this moment, at this point in time...I really don't give a damn. I'm so tired, physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually...I feel like giving up....on everything.

Hopefully, after a couple cups of coffee, a meal, a shower.....and I don't know when I can get it but the sooner the better!!!!!......6 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep I'll be in a better frame of mind and have a more positive outlook.

I watched an old movie last night, from 1954, called "Marty", from a story by Paddy Chayefsky, starring Ernest Borgnine. Talk about art imitating life, this cut way too close to the bone. But it ends on a high note......and a dream that I can share. Sappy...maybe, but honest portrayals of people and their emotions.

I've got to go and get something to eat and drink now before I pass out. I was asked to watch the grandkids tonight for a couple of hours, so that takes care of the shower, and I shaved at Prologue.

It's noon now, and if I can just decompress a touch more and attain at least the facade of stability I may try to stop at S.S.A. this afternoon....no..wait...I'm going to go to the optician and get my eyes examined and order new glasses through the referral I have from my doctor at JAI. (It could be a possible factor relating to the headaches I have been getting!?!).

Anyway.............Later.................Dave