"Old Home Week..................................Too, Too, Too, DAMN HOT!............."DD

Good Evening;

Well....It's too freakin' hot, that's all there is to it!
I have not "slept" in 4 nights, other than passing out from exhaustion an being woken up from the heat. Last night after leaving the back of the library about 2:15 am. and spending 90 minutes in the A/C at the gas station I wandered around Pikesville looking for a place to lay down. I crashed out in front of the library entrance about 5:50 am. only to be woken up by the blazing sun and near 90 degree temperatures shortly after 7:00 am.

I then got up and stumbled to the benches I should have started on, in the shade of the building and trees facing Reisterstown Rd., where I grabbed another 90 minutes 'sleep'.
I stayed in the library until 4:00 pm then caught the buses here to the coffee shop.

I was gifted with a couple sandwiches and a few bagels last night as I was leaving here, which turned out to be a good thing. As I was riding the Light Rail to State Center to get the Metro subway I ran into a semi-homeless woman who was a bit frantic and agitated asking me for the time. It was 9:30 pm. and she kept asking if I thought she would make it to McCullough St. by 10:00 pm., as she ha to be inside her transitional housing by then.

She was almost crying and shaking with emotion as she told me how she was 7 months pregnant, (by sight, at least!!), and that she had just been chased off of the corner of Falls Rd. & Northern Pkwy. where she had been panhandling, trying to get a few bucks to get something to eat and buy some supplements her doctor wanted her to drink. Her name is Jenny and her boyfriend had slapped her around, taken her last dollar, an she thinks also her Independence card. She told me about being the only white girl in the house and  being picked on or singled out for the nastiest chores, condition non-withstanding.

I had told her I was also homeless earlier, so it was not a scam story, she knew I was broke. I had also had the same experience in a minority 'reversal' situation, so I empathized with her there, an with the whole 'not knowing' what to do or where to go on a weekend when shit hits the fan. I gave her the sandwiches and bagels except for one bagel for myself, and she burst into tears, and asked "Why?". I told her "Because it's the right thing to do" and on an impulse reached out and touched her cheek. She turned her head trapping my hand between her cheek and shoulder and reached out and pulled me into an embrace with her other arm.

After a couple heartbeats too many I managed to extricate my self from (what was rather physically obvious to both of us) a potentially dangerous and complicated situation in the making by reminding her about the curfew she was just going to make if she disentangled her self....NOW. She kissed me hard then thanked me again, and trotted of at top pregnancy speed, as I struggled to put THAT particular demon back in his box.

When I finally got back to Pikesville, in the course of my wanderings last night and today, I found 5 more homeless people in and around the library and the benches, 4 I knew or knew of, an 1 unfamiliar person. On the bus from the subway I saw the guy I've mentioned who calls himself Mike, who I saw a couple months ago for the first time in over a year, and not again since. Turns out he now has almost 2 years clean in AA. It took looking at 20 years in prison for him to 'wake up', after waking up in a synagogue staring into the muzzle, having broken in to sleep off a drunk. Last night I saw Barry, ('Rainman'), and the black dude with the rolling suitcase who is always angry, and the nameless guy was the other. The 'Crack Daddy Caddy' I saw heading into the liquor store today as I rode past on the bus.

Today was also proof that sometimes 'what goes around comes around'. Twice today a woman has asked me if she could give me a couple dollars, once in the library as I was counting out my bus fare in coins, and again here at the coffee shop after she read my piece in the City Paper. Both were non solicited, an out of the blue.
So I now have bus fare for 2 more days.

Gotta run...................closing time,

Later.........................Dave

"It's Not The Ps & Qs I'm Worried About .........................It's The Ds And Es.............."

Good Evening;

So......do you know how hard it is to try to write without using the letters "e" & "d"? Some offered me a USB keyboard, but it is one of those newfangled 'ergonomic' split types that curves like a boomerang, and is really bulky. Just too much to carry. I'd like to get hold of one of the roll up type semi-soft ones, not the totally flat ones but the ones that have a soft key feel. Ah well, just dreaming.

Last night I sat out behind the library until 2:30 am., then sat in the A/C at the gas station talking to Daniel until 3:30 am., when I HAD to lie down and pass out. I had opened the shed door as I went passed to try to air it out, and it helped a bit.  But I was still up and out by 7:10 am. due to the heat in there. Giant, library picnic table, library, Starbucks.....same old routine.

The library was filled with homeless folks today, tomorrow should look the
 same. All those I saw were just quietly sitting, reading, on the computers, grateful for a respite from the heat.

It cooled off today, the "official" temperature was only 96 degrees....ha..ha!
Saturday is supposed to be over 100......lovely,
with heat indices approaching 110 degrees.

Still tired, & don't want deal with this kyboar now

Latr.........................av

"Heat Exchange....................Not Doctor Who------Doctor When?......................"

Good Evening;
Well.....it's thundering and spitting rain right now, and there is a broken line of storms moving through for the next few hours, it's just a matter of time before one of the cells dumps on us here.
It's gonna cool it off for 20 minutes an then raise the humidity through the roof.
I was asked why I devote so much space to the weather, well it probably is the most significant factor in the life of someone living on the street.
Think about it.

I got into the shed about 4:00 am. despite the heat, aired it out as best I could and passed out for 3 hours until I was forced out at 7:00 am. by the rising temps. After stopping in the Giant to use the restroom, wash up, and spend my last $0.50 except for tomorrow's bus fare on one of the 2oz. pkgs. of Buddig 'chopped, pressed, formed' lunch meats on sale. After using my last roll it's now 'peanut butter on a poon' as my youngest stepson used to say, for the forseeable future.

Sat outside the library in the shade until 9:00 am. when they opened then stayed there until 3:00 pm.when I ended up getting on the "bus from hell!" to JAI Medical. A power mad bus driver, not only late but crazy from the heat and seemingly picking up only insane or heat stroked or doped up or tweaked out of their mind passengers.

I get to JAI at 3:47 pm. for my 4:00 pm appointment an see Jenn in the parking lot. She honks at me and I wave and yell hang on and go inside to check in first. Which was a good thing because I'm told that I'm late an my appointment has been given to someone else. Not a happy camper!!!!
After I show my appointment card saying 4:00 pm. and let them know that I WAS! seeing the doctor today and got it confirmed by higher, I went out to Jenn and grabbed the clean clothes she had washed for me.

I had just given a urine sample, (funny story about this later!!!!), and was waiting to give a blood sample when the nurse came and got me and took me back to the exam room, so I still have to go back an give a blood sample one day soon. After the bloodwork comes back, decisions need to be made about dealing with the gallbladder and spleen, and the liver, and the spinal issues, and possibly the neuropathy from the pneumonia surgery.
I also got referrals to the shrink, optometrist, an addictions coordinator, (all by consensus).

After leaving JAI I caught the bus to the light rail and here to the coffee shop, where I cadged my first an only cup of coffee today.

And it's close enough to closing time that I want to pack up and head out to the bus, the damn thing has either been 15 minutes early or an hour late.

Later.......................Dave      

"Is Jello A Liquid Or A Solid?............I Don't Care, I'm Cutting A Chunk Out For A Pillow!.................."

Good Morning;
 Well.....it's just about 12:30 am. Thursday morning and the temperature is 86 degrees with a heat index of 91 degrees, a 71 degree dew point and 61% humidity. The air is like Jello and walking is really an effort.
I am out here behind the library enjoying a nice breeze that is funneled between the buildings, falling asleep over the keyboard after every other word.
No sleep since 9:00 am. yesterday, I wish I could lay down.

Later.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Dave

"All Night...And Half The Morning Too.................................................."

Good Morning;
Well...it's 8:40 am. and I am just packing up out behind the library. I've been here since about 11:15 pm.last night with the laptop and the TV. Probably shoulda tried to sleep near dawn, 'cause it does not look good for tonight according to all the weatherfolk on all the channels.

It's either going to be a sauna, or, if it storms, a steam bath in the shed tonight....I'm open to invitations.
I'll entertain you with stories in trade for access to your A/C........

(it would be really nice if you have a swimming pool too.......lol!)

Anyway, I've got to dump some clothing at the shed, and put on real shoes.
I did not expect to be at Jenn's so long and only wore my old 'moc' type boat shoes....an they are NOT made for walkin'..

Later...............Dave

{To the young lady who wrote the very sweet letter,..
Thank you very much for you thoughts, and for the collection of socks you made up this winter for the homeless, your mom and dad should be very proud of you. To answer your question, here is another question...
You visited some of the shelters, would YOU stay at them if you had another
more private, option? Well I'm not comfortable in crowds either.}

"Relatively Insane..............Summer Reading/Other Voices...........

Good Morning;

Well it's 2:22am.,  no, now it's 3:20am. and I'm sitting here behind the library watching TV and fighting the keyboard again. I was at Jenn's for 4 nights and 4 days watching the grandmonsters, avoiding the heat and the huge thunderstorm Friday night, washing a load of clothes, showering, fighting fleas, getting ready to leave 3 times and having plans changed 3 times and staying one more night, having today's departure moved from 1:00 pm. to 2:30 pm. to 6:30 pm. to 7:00 pm....and finally leaving there after 8:00 pm.

(I ended up getting on the train at Timonium at 8:30 pm. and after one bus never showed and barely making the third connection because the bus I finally did catch was 20 minutes late too. I reached Pikesville after 11:00 pm.....& I'm NOT a happy camper.)

And I am still too wound up to discuss the fighting between my daughter and her husband that drove me upstairs to sit in the still overly hot kitchen after Midnight last night. And the craziness that her m-i-l is both spouting and doing has me wondering whether the multiple vectors of tension and dysfunction in that house is one of the many contributing factors to this ever tightening downward spiral I feel trapped in.

But with the insane heat this year, with more 99 - 100+ degree

temperatures forecast for the weekend, and having no other regular place to shower and wash......


So.. I was just checking my e-mail and attached to one from one of the coordinators of the "Faces Of The Homeless" Speakers Bureau was this flyer;

Baltimore Area

“Faces of Homelessness”

Speakers’ Bureau

Sponsored by: Health Care for the Homeless Inc., Beans and Bread Center,

Project PLASE, and National Coalition for the Homeless

The Baltimore Area Speakers Bureau is a public education program that aims to

• Dispel myths/stereotypes about homelessness
• Personalize, individualize, and put a “face” on homelessness

The speakers are individuals who have personally experienced homelessness, and are the true experts on the topic. The “Faces of Homelessness” Speakers’ Bureau builds opportunities for members to advocate for themselves and others and to build bridges within the community.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A standard presentation includes up to three panelists with firsthand experience of homelessness and a discussion moderator. While presentations can be customized for particular groups, classes, or events, presentations typically follow this outline:

• Introduction and Stereotypes (5-10 minutes)
• Speaker Testimonies from 2-3 speakers (10-20 minutes each)
• Question and Answer (15+ minutes)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For more information on hosting a “Faces of Homelessness” Speakers’ Bureau panel, check out our blog at http://facesofhomelessnessbmore.blogspot.com/ or contact:

Facesofhomelessnessbmore@gmail.co

And this is their website; 
http://facesofhomelessnessbmore.blogspot.com/.

She wrote that she had read the "City Paper" column, and I guess followed the link to blog and from their got my e-mail.

It looks like an interesting program and I think I'll stop by and listen one Wednesday, when it's not so damn hot and midday travel isn't as exhausting.
Here is a link to a blog that I subscribe to, "Being Homeless In Baltimore",

A moving and passionate post by Marc Schumann:
http://homelessnessinbaltimore.com/2012/07/04/the-man-on-the-floor/



It's actually quite comfortable right now, with a fairly strong wind.I am considering packing up and heading over to the shed and leaving the door open for a while hoping it cools it off and airs it out.....after this episode of "American Dad"....umm I mean "It's Always Sunny In Philaelphia", [it's now 4:16 am.].

Tomorrow, (today.....lol), I have to go down and talk to Monkee, put together a second column to send to Evan for editing, for next weeks City Paper. I also have to complete and e-mail the forms to them so I can get paid, now that I've worked out an address to use.

Okay.....theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeessssssssssssssssssssss
keeeeeeeeeeeeyboarddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
is going apesshit again.....

Later.............Ddddddaveeeee

[4:38 am.--"King Of The Hill"}

Good Afternoon;

R.I.P.
 ת.נ.צ.ב.ה

Yitzhak Shamir
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/01/world/middleeast/yitzhak-shamir-former-prime-minister-of-israel-dies-at-96.html?pagewanted=1&smid=fb-share

Later........................Dave

"Heatstroke Harangue.........OR........Countdown To Meltdown..............."

Good Afternoon;
So.....got to Timmonium Light Rail about 4:30 pm. and Tom picked me up about 15 minutes later and brought me back here to Jenn's. As soon as it was free I jumped in the shower to not only wash fully for the first time in a week, but to lower my core temperature, it was a beast out there!

Watched the grandkids, ate, did laundry, passed out from exhaustion.
Then I woke up 3 hours later at 2:00 am. and ha a piss poor night trying to get back to sleep.

I thought I could stay through the worst of the heat wave, maybe until Monday evening....but it ain't gonna happen. The only reason I did not leave when Jenn took the kids to Westminster to her mother's at 3:00 pm.is that she oes not have enough gas, so Tom is taking me to the train when he gets back from his DJ gig, sometime later this afternoon/early this evening. Of course with my luck, it will be in the middle of the thunderstorms forecast for then.

Tomorrow is supposed to be the worst day, and tonight and tomorrow night the shed will be useless because of the heat.....I'm not a Happy Camper!

It's going to be a shitty Independence Day week!

Anybody with A/C who wants to have a houseguest for a couple nights please contact me, I'm even open to just spending sleeping hours there, days I can find a place to be.

Anyway, want to eat an grab another quick shower and pack now...

Later........................Dave

"Theatre Of The Absurd........M.I.A. Meds........Heat Stroke Express.........Rag Bag ..........& Pledge Drive.................Et al........"

Good Morning;

Well...and yet another sleepless night behind the library. At least I got to listen to some free entertainment as what I think was the same local part-time homeless drunk crackhead golf caddy got into arguments/screaming matches with what appeared to be 2 and possibly 3 different people just across Reisterstown Rd.but screened by some evergreen trees, or just out of sight between the buildings.
One of the combatants was a woman and their debate content was typical alcohol fueled, slurred, white trash recriminations of escalating viciousness and crudity as each tried to counter then top the other's accusations of and 'caught in the act' descriptions of various incidences of cheating, lying and stealing.
When "Mary" left the stage, either stumbling away or passing out behind a dumpster, the 20-something junkie Russian kid I mentioned a week or so ago, who just got out of jail, must have been passing by. They had been staying at the house, (with no electricity) of Bruce, a local version of the 'town drunk' about this time last year and the junkie stole the caddy's

 BlackBerry and sold it for dope. I knew this because at different times on the bus the junkie boasted about it and the drunkie ranted about it. And tonight the phrase "YOU STOLE MY F*CKIN' BLACKBERRY" was repeated 35 times or so at full volume. After this extended exchange of deep philosophical ideas wound down everything was silent for a while then a bout of yelling muted by distance or architecture carried over between passing cars and I thought I heard broken English and both good and bad Spanish.
Things got so heated a couple times and must have ended up in the street or teetering on the curb, because car horns and squealing brakes sounded.
I was ready to slip around the corner to the payphone and call 911 anonymously a few times, but things have been quiet for the past hour an a half.

I'm surprised Barry is not sleeping on the sidewalk around the corner tonight, he's been there most night's in the past couple weeks. I wish I could find a safe and secure place "under the stars" to camp out that is near here on nights when the shed is in "sauna or steam bath mode", it's been 3 nights since I slept more than 30 minutes straight, and I'm exhausted....but...:(

Unless I can find a few bupes in the morning, or a substitute that qualifies, I'm not going to Jenn's tomorrow, because there is no way I am going to deal with the kids, the heat, and the m-i-l while worrying about and dealing with my bodies entering into withdrawal symptoms!
I am not a happy camper tonight!

So....after getting out of the shed by 8:30 am because of the heat, hitting the Giant to make up the last of my coffee and try to take the best 'whore's bath' I could in a public restroom, that was not a single person type, and without a locking door, I went and sat....here, by coincidence.
I heated up the cell phone trying to find SOMEONE who knew somone wi.t with access to bupes, with zero results.

{Monkee may have something that will be acceptable, I'm to call her early....which will be no problem....not going into a coma on the train/bus own there may be........lol.}

After the Sun devoured all the shade I went inside the library for a couple hours, then I took the bus to the subway to Cultural Center stop and went to the City Paper offices to see Evan.
He told me that all the feedback on the column had been overwhelming positive, and broached the idea of running it every 2 weeks! 

What a hoot!
He gave me a $20.00 until I can get the payroll info all set up, as they pay by check only. $5.00 of that was for bus fare and some fruit juices, and the rest is for Monkee.....I hope!

After that I got back on the Metro went to the Cold Spring La.and took the bus to JAI to see about my prescriptions being refilled. I did not get to see my doctor, other than a wave through the glass partition...(it's a 'hood clinic, with armed guard in the waiting room), but the receptionist grabbed her between patients in my sight an pointed to me and she, the Doc, was supposed to call in to the RiteAid directly for me.
I'll find out in the morning, or in a few hours I should say...
I get to go back there on Thursday at 4:00 pm. for the scheduled appointment next week on the 5th of July, and I'll bring up all the lovely issues mentioned previously....oh lucky me.

After that I took the bus to the Light Rail to Mt. Washington to the Starbucks, then the Light Rail to Cultural Center, again, to the Metro to Old Court station and the bus to here.
And most of this multi-vehicle, multiple-mode, mass-transit odyssey was during the heat of the day and required a fair bit of walking carrying my rapidly deteriorating sport type bag with the laptop, TV, cords and chargers, changes of clothes, meds, toiletries, paperwork...etc.

(Everything is falling apart or wearing out right now, bag, shoes, shorts, jeans, tee shirts,.....I need everything BUT socks an underwear! )                                              

(anyone with an unused ballistic nylon sports/military style medium large-large size shoulder bag, the type with 3 or 4 zippered pouches on the outside that's not too beat up and taking up space who wants to donate it, I'd be grateful.)

And as all the "Loyal Readers" know I rarely if ever, straight up, outright, petition for money on this blog, oh I make my financial situation known alright, but I don't usually make a plea for cash unless it is in a semi-serious,  or ironic, or humorous way, not really expecting a response.....

(Except when it came to wanting to do or needing something for Rachel!)

(Then I asked for real, and some of you graciously helped out...thank you)

Wellllll, it's looking like a long, hard, hot, flat f*cking broke summer, and I'm asking and accepting anything anyone may have the urge or desire to give!
That's it,..no more,...& if you feel so inclined as to throw something my way,
send me an e-mail, and we'll work it out, just put "HomeLessCide" in the subject box unless we've already been in touch, because if not, you'll end up in  my junk mail folder...unopened.
Thanks.

I'm too tired to type anymore,
Later...............................Dave

"Meteorology, Medical, Money, & Markouts................"

Good Morning;

Well another night/morning behind the library with the portable TV and the laptop.
It's 71 degrees now an quite comfortable, but...

Excessive Heat Watch from Fri, 11am until Fri, 9pm..EDT

•  
•  

5 Day Forecast

Updated: Jun 27, 2012, 11:08pm EDT

TodayJun 28

99^°F

81^°F

Sunny

CHANCE OF RAIN:

0%

 

WIND:

WSW at 12 mph

Details

FriJun 29

104^°

84^°

Partly Cloudy

CHANCE OF RAIN:

10%

 

WIND:

WNW at 12 mph

Details

SatJun 30

103^°

84^°

Partly Cloudy

CHANCE OF RAIN:

10%

 

WIND:

WSW at 7 mph

Details

SunJul 1

103^°

82^°

Mostly Sunny

CHANCE OF RAIN:

10%

 

WIND:

WNW at 8 mph

Details

MonJul 2

97^°

81^°

Partly Cloudy

CHANCE OF RAIN:

10%

 

WIND:

WNW at 6 mph

Details

• 10 Day Forecast 

Heat Index values of 110 degrees are forecast, but... Because heat index values were devised for shady, light wind conditions, exposure to full sunshine can increase heat index values by up to 15 degrees! The Heat Index Chart The Heat Index is a function of temperature and relative humidity. The combination of the two results in an apparent temperature which gives an idea of what it would feel like under normal-to-low humidity conditions. The heat index also applies to shady, light wind conditions, so it feels even hotter than the heat index if a person is in direct sun. In the midst of a hot, dry, wind a person would also feel hotter than the heat index value due to the wind effects. Excessive and dangerous heat indices occur mostly during the summer months with the abundance of moisture and increased heat. Apparent Temperature Readings Caution -- 85 to 94°F -- physical activity may cause fatigue Extreme Caution -- 95 to 105°F -- possible heat cramps and/or heat exhaustion with prolonged exposure Danger -- Above 105°F -- possible heat stroke with prolonged exposure; heat exhaustion and heat cramps likely

I was just reminded by a text from Jenn that she had asked me to watch the grand-monsters Friday night so she can speak at a meeting.
That helps....I'll head up there sometime that afternoon and spend the night and try to weasel, I mean wheedle my way into Saturday and Sunday nights.
It's the nights that are the worst, as you well know from my frequent comparisons of the shed to a sauna..... :)


Anyway....tomorrow I HAVE! to get to the doctor's office and get prescription refills,  get blood and urine samples taken to find out WTF is going on with the liver and gallbladder that has me looking like frickin' Big Bird.

Plus I want to find out why I keep experiencing seasickness like symptoms.......on dry land while not moving! Ended up lightheaded, dizzy, and nauseated as I was walking into the Giant last night to use the bathroom and fill my water bottle. Went into the restroom and began to gag, then puked, with nearly nothing to evacuate.
But afterwards, except for the fact that it felt and tasted like an army had marched through my mouth.......I felt a good deal better.
I just want to get this done before the Medical Assistance vanishes in a puff of smoke!
I also need to find $20.00 ASAP to get enough 'bupes' to carry me through the weekend until the 2nd. and for bus fare.
I want to try to find enough ($16.50) for a monthly pass before they go off sale.
And I need to find a mailing address in Baltimore City as soon as possible too, Evan at the City Paper said they just need any address just for the files an end of year W-2 forms, so I'll ask Jenn about that.

I'm still tickled to see my name in the paper, without a mug shot beside it......lol!
Everybody at the coffee shop thought it was pretty cool too.
I have been living on marked out bagels from the other day, some Dunkin' Dumpster doughnuts, and a jar of peanut butter I liberated from Jenn's, (she had 5 stashed away, one of which was about the size of a 55 gallon oil drum......lol!), the fresh cherries, grapes and pineapples put out to be sampled at Whole Foods, and today a couple of rescued breakfast sandwiches and pastries intercepted before reaching the trash can, and KoolAid Lemonade mix.
Ummmm healthy.....

It's cool enough to go and lay down now, and it's 2:30 am.
so.....first the gas station, then the shed....

Later.....................Dave

"Hanging Paper........Or..........Back To The Mother Medium..................."

Good Afternoon;
 Well I picked up the latest copy of the Baltimore City Paper today,

 (June 27-July 4), and was pleasantly surprised to find that on page 5 I was
the author of a column called, (what else....lol) "HOMELESSCIDE"...(let's be truthful, I'm freakin' ecstatic....lol!).
The surprise was that it was appearing so soon, I had some back and forth with Evan, the editor, last week, with the last contact on Monday of this week. I was expecting 2 more weeks, maybe next week at the earliest, so this is really cool.

It was extremely hard trying to write to fit a 500 word or so limit. As you know loyal reader the blog is basically stream of consciousness with much tangential 'scenic drive' detours. I eventually gave him about 1,200 words on the first night homeless with a quick rundown of most of the different places I've stayed in the intervening years, and my blessings on him to blue pencil it as he thought fit, trying to keep my 'voice' intact.

I'm really pleased with how it turned out and now that I have a 'visual' on what he's looking for, in way of 'brevity' vs. detail, I think it will be easier.
I think it is going into a 3-4 week rotation with other current columns.
Here is a link for you to use to form your own opinion:
http://citypaper.com/news/columns/homelesscide-1.1334997

And the wild thing is.....I'm getting paid to o this!!
Whooo-hoo....THAT'S A FIRST!
From poems in free publications, to a self published book of poetry, to the blog, (and the 2 magazine articles and the TV story on it and me in 2010), to an actual PAID column....who'd a thunk it?

Later..............Dave

"Hot And Cold Running Sleepy Time W(h)ine......................"

Good Evening;

Well the weather has me in a much better mood. Although I HATE the cold with a burning (freezing?...lol) passion, in some respects it is better than this freakin' record setting heat and humidity the past couple of summers.

For one thing, once I am able to get in the shed, in the sleeping bag and warmed up, I can pretty much stay there until bodily functions give me an ultimatum. Hours....days if needs be, with quick runs to the 'collection bottle', or the Giant or gas station if it's the 'other' end.

When it's hot as hell I can't even get in and lay own if I am exhausted without dealing with sauna or steam bath like heat when the temperatures hit 85 degrees or better, and the morning sun can heat up the interior by 7:00 am. on those "gonna break 90 degrees days". When I have a fan, and I'm down to the 'D-cell' eating battery powered one now that there is no electricity in the adjacent office bldg., I can at least get some air moving across the sweat to convince me I'm getting cooled off.

The hot nights I have not been at Jenn's this summer have been spent either in front of or behind the library, reading or watching TV on the portable, some times until 3:00 am. when I HAVE to lay down, for purely physical reasons, sleepy or not, sauna or not. I just can't feel safe out in the open like Barry who sleeps by the payphone under the slight over hag on the side of the library or the 'angry dude' who sleeps on the bench by Reisterstown Rd.

Oh damn.....closing time already?!

Later..................Dave

"Praying I Wake Up And Find I'm In A Snickers Commercial With Joe Pescii....................."

Good Morning;

Well it's Saturday night and I've been here at Jenn's since Wednesday afternoon. Her surgery went well and the item removed from her breast is at pathology for precise identification, but initial results are that it is NOT cancerous, or malignant in any way, for which we are all extremely grateful.

I am writing this now at 2:16 pm. at the Mt. Washington Starbucks, I tried to finish this and post it last night/this morning around 1:00 am. but the damn keyboard was f*cking up so bad that the 'e' key once hit could not be stopped for 3 or 4 LINES of print. I calmly and rationally started ranting and screaming at the laptop while beating on the keyboard like a red headed stepchild, (LTFU all you PCers, it's a freakin' joke), and finally was able to get the computer to turn off.

This is entirely in keeping with my mood, external extenuating circumstances, mental, emotional, & physical well being, not being able to get more than 2-3 hours sleep out of every 24 for the past 2 weeks, and the multi-level and cross generational tensions that are going on up here, some of which flared up into verbal warfare before leaving the house this morning, (I was only on the sidelines, not a participant an kept my mouth shut, but was still the victim of collateral damage). The grandkids added their motion sickness derived (Devin, that is, Ed's was..let's call it...sympathetically detonated) vomit votes just before Tom dropped me off at the Hunt Valley Light Rail.

So it was not the best visit this time. One good thing was that Tom drove to Monkees and I was able to pick up the Rubbermaid storage tub, 4 small boxes, and two briefcases that make up everything I own, except the few things I carry around and the bedding and couple items of clothing I leave in the shed. Which is pretty damn depressing in and of itself, and added to that, she was out of 'bupes' so I am about to run out of ANOTHER one of my meds tonight. One of my prescriptions is still out of sync with the rest so I used the last of that one this morning. The others all will be used up with no refills before the next scheduled doctor's visit in July, which means I need to walk in next week and sit and wait and hope to be seen.

Between the heat last week, the insomnia, being on the downslope of a particularly nasty depressive episode, the D.S.S problems, worry and concern for a friend who was in a severe accident, (To--'Anonymous'..Thanks for your Comment, sorry about the delay, but I just noticed it was pending approval and publication, I sent I &'I an e-mail on the 15th and they replied on the 17th, thanks for your concern and consideration), and all the familial tensions, I REALLY feel like I'm about to lose it. The lack of funds and the Foodstamps has never affected me this badly before, and the increasingly frequent lengthening episodes of pain and other symptoms relating to the deterioration of the gallbladder and liver have me worried sick that when push comes to shove an the surgeon determines that it's time to remove the gallbladder....the Medical Assistance will be f*cked up also.
Past experience, not groundless paranoia.

Trying to look for work and finding none, while at the same time the physical/mental issues that have been the reasons that I can't do what I used to be able to do keep getting worse is like riding a merry go round from Hell......not only speeding faster and faster as it tries to fling you off to your death or destruction.......it's a constant downward spiral.

Anyway...enough of that for now, I have a small care package that will feed me today, and if it keeps in the heat, tomorrow, o I'm going to eat a very late breakfast an see if that helps some.

Later.........................Dave

SIN-atra: Hard Rock/Heavy Metal Tribute to Frank Sinatra on JamBase

Good Afternoon;
Just rockin' the hell out of the Summer Solstice;

SIN-atra: Hard Rock/Heavy Metal Tribute to Frank Sinatra on JamBase
Picked up this CD at the library on a whim.....
Sinatra purists everywhere are jumping off buildings.......lol!

Later....................Dave

"Night Writer Notes...................."

Good Morning;

So.....it's 1:30 in the morning and the shed is still near 90 degrees and in the 20 seconds it took me to go inside and grab the 50 ft. extension cord and lock it back up, my shirt was soaked. I've been sitting at the picnic table behind the library watching TV and futzing around on the laptop. I stopped by the Dunkin' Dumpster on the way and grabbed a couple of donuts and bagel twists before they got all "sweaty" and nasty. Along with a couple sandwiches that someone saved from being disposed of after being marked out, that's food for tomorrow. With nothing coming until August at least in the way of TDAP or Foodstamps, it looks to be a long summer.
Tomorrow evening Tom's going to be picking me up and taking me out to Jenn's to take care of the grandmonsters after her surgery and to let her get some 'down time' on Thursday.....which is good for me too because it is supposed to be in the high 90s to 100+ degrees, with heat indices (indexes?) between 105 and 112 degrees. It's only mid June, dammit, the first day of summer. Well it will be good if the m-i-l doesn't flake out and turn off the A/C crying about, "it's too cold, and wasting electricity", don't laugh, she's turned it off in the middle of the night and the basement, with no other air circulation, reached 85 degrees in the living room, the kid's rooms were higher.

EEOkay th keyboard is going creeeeazy again
more tomorrow
Lateeer..................DDaveeeee

"Idle Speed..........."

Good Evening;

Well.....Sunday was non-eventful, Coffee shop then watched TV out behind the library until after Midnight. I also wrote and e-mailed that short piece of writing to my editor friend for critique...I feel it started well, but lost the flow half way through, and I just couldn't get it back. We'll see...

Monday I spent the afternoon and evening at Rachel's (her mom's), just hanging out. We had dinner and took a walk and read books, a nice low key day.

Today I was up and out early because the shed was heating up.
The MTA was messed up and I spent 2 hours getting here to Starbucks.
Another nothing to talk about day.
Or at least nothing I WANT to talk about yet.......things are pretty f*cked up to tell you the truth.
Too much to deal with now....it's closing time, more from Jenn's tomorrow night. I'm going up there to watch the kids while she recuperates from another surgery.

Later................Dave

"Come Fly With Me............................."

Good Evening;

Well....I'm packing up here at the coffee shop so I can catch the buses back to the shed. After Jenn and Tom and the kids dropped me off at the light rail on their way to the family picnic, (HER mother's side), I went over to Monkee's and got another week's worth of meds. She told me I need to move my stuff stored in her basement out ASAP, as she is having some major work done. Great, now I not only have to find a mailing address to use, I need to find storage space too!

I saw the Blue Angels today while they were performing over the Harbor as part of the "Sailebration" festivities here commemorating the War of 1812.They flew right over my head in a 180 degree turn, banked to 90 degrees s they headed back downtown. It was freakin' awesome! It seemed as if I could reach up and touch them!

Closing time...gotta go....

Later............................Dave

"Out Of The Woods..............."

Good Morning;

 So...Jenn, Tom & the grandmonsters are home from Dover, Del. where they were visiting my mother. It's back own to Baltimore tomorrow around Noon. Another one night visit that turned into a week.
I think I'll be back here sometime next week when Jenn goes in for surgery, but not sure of the details yet.

I've got to put together a piece of writing, about 500 words or so, as a sort of 'test specimen' or sample for a friend who just took over the reins of a local weekly paper. A sort of observation & commentary type thing similar to the better quality posts that sometime grace your screen here at our little blog. If it's what they're looking for...(cross fingers, rub rabbit's foot, knock wood or perform other appropriate good luck superstition here......lol)...(I could be paid for it too....sshhhh, not too loud, don't wanna jinx it)...lol!

I'm going to go and wash a last load of clothes and shower now, to help avoid gridlock here in the morning at the 'bathroom bottleneck'.

Later..................Dave

All For A ‘Good Story.’

Good Evening;

I've just found out that my good friends Inette & 'Iokepa were in a bad automobile accident in California, near Crescent City, while on their way to Portland, Oregon to take a break from their cross country book tour marathon promoting Inette's latest book;
"Grandmothers Whisper",
He is unhurt, physically, while she is/was hospitalized with broken ribs, bruised lung, concussion, and memory loss.
My thoughts  and prayers go out to them, and I know that they would also welcome the same from some of you 'loyal readers' who have met and spoken with or heard them speak.
 The 2 links below are to their website 'Huliau-Return Voyage', (the 'Ever Changing Page' section), and a newspaper story about them and the accident.


All For A ‘Good Story.’

http://www.triplicate.com/News/Local-News/Hiouchi-wreck-delays-pairs-natl-book-tour

Having been in the same situation myself, from the physical pain to the selective amnesia, I can empathize with her and share the confusion and mixed feelings of gratitude and 'why me?' that will linger after the bodily pain is long gone.

This also has caused me to stop and take a moment to reflect on my life and look at it from a different perspective....a lot to think about, and perhaps actions to take.

Gotta run now......
Later.........................Dave

"Give 'Til It Hurts........And Help Someone Who Is Really Hurting!............"

Good Morning;

So...just got this in an e-mail;

How YOU can help 'Healthcare for the Homeless' get an extra $15,000.00

Baltimore Rallies to End Homelessness! 

 

On Thursday, June 14, Healthcare for the Homeless is a participant in Twive & Receive, a 24-hour online giving competition. With Baltimore's help, Healthcare for the Homeless can win an extra $15,000 to support families without homes.

Want to help? Here’s what you can do:

• Donate on Thursday at http://bit.ly/TwiveBmore (But be sure to make it count for June 14. Use the “Schedule one for Twive and Receive 2012” link under Make Your Donation if you're making a donation before 3 AM Eastern on June 14.)

• Join us at Dangerously Delicious Pies in Canton on June 14 from 5:30-7:30 pm to celebrate Twive and Receive, learn about Healthcare for the Homeless, and listen to Street Voices, a singing group made up of staff from Healthcare for the Homeless.

• Tell your friends - tweet (#twivebmore), post on Facebook, and forward this email.

With everyone's help, Healthcare for the Homeless can win. Whatever you choose to do – thank you! It will make a difference.

So......do what you can, please?...............Thanx!

I'm up here in Monkton at Jenn's house, (actually her husband's mom's...they have a basement apartment here), caring for the cats and the dog while they are in Dover, Del. visiting my mother, (we are estranged, that's why I'm not with them), because the m-i-l can't be relied on to not forget to feed them, or remember that she let the dog out to pee, (one time returned by neighbor when found 4 miles away), the unspoken fact is I'm also here to prevent an "I've fallen and I can't get up" situation too.

I'll be back in Baltimore on Saturday afternoon, which is when I need to get more meds also.

At least I have not had to worry about food for most of the past 2 weeks, which is a good thing because I am totally without financial resources right now.
Next week, (before Jenn goes in for surgery on Wednesday, and I'm back here riding herd on the grandmonsters for ???? at least a couple days as she recuperates.

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! This stupid E ky is mssing up again, an th D is not much bttr!

Later........................Dave

"Another Extended Visit To....East Bumfu---......Errrr,.....Monkton............"

Good Afternoon;

Well...Saturday night back in the shed, Sunday afternoon in Mt. Washington, and then the train to Timonium where Tom & Ed picked me up and we went back up to Monkton and Jenn's house to watch the grandkids.
Sunday & Monday day and night here on the recliner, and tonight is still up in the air. Missed being on the road or in the shed during the  thunderstorms, which is a good thing....but the humidity and the low pressure have been no fun.
Everyone here is either in physical pain, sick, in a crappy mood.....or a combination of the above.
Jenn has a migraine, (I have had one in my life an never want to experience another ever again......she is frequently immobilized by them), the kids are bratty, Tom.....well, Tom is --- "Tom", and I'm trying to find a way to deal with the ache in my joints and the neuropathy in my left side without using up my limited supply of bupes. Tempers are short, to say the least.

Oookay.....was just asked if I could stay here and watch the animals, (5 cats and a dog), while Jenn and family (NOT the m-i-l!!!) go to Dover, Delaware to visit my mother, from Wednesday to late Friday, so I'd be here 'til Saturday morning....Hmmmmm?

Oh, WTF!, why not!?

Pros:

 off the street,
satellite TV
shower
washer/dryer
food
place to cook the above

Cons:

no way to leave other than a 10 mile walk
m-i-l
satellite TV, (as in - 'NOT cable'....lol)

no reserve on meds, exact to the last dose
won't gt to SSA or DSS 'til next week
(but won't really make a difference, 

not going to be corrected 'til July, if I'm lucky)

So....guess I may as well stay.

This keyboard is pissing me off with the damn

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
again.........

Later.......................Dave

"A Visit From Faerie & A Real Life 'Escape From Witch Mountain' !!!............"

Good Afternoon;

Well....the "$20.00 Dollar Bill Fairy" graced me with his?/her?/it's presence last night, which enabled me to get meds for the next 8 days.

I was in the Giant on the way back from the restroom and about to hit the shed when a woman, your stereotypical 'little old lady' asked me if I would help her by reaching the milk on the top shelf in the cooler. I grabbed that and asked her if there was anything else high up she needed while I was there. I ended up wandering the store with her and helping her and listening to her as she told me stories of hiding from the Nazis, then being betrayed by the people she trusted for money, [and then watching the Germans execute them for hiding her and throwing the money on the bodies....(which she saw was still there days later when she was being taken away in a truck to the concentration camp...no one in the neighborhood would go near it)...].
She told me how she escaped from the train carrying her to Poland and an extermination camp, spent 6 months getting to the Baltic sea and stowing away on a boat to Sweden*, eventually reaching the U.S. via Ireland*, Spain*, Portugal*, and Canada. {Nominally Neutral Countries}
It was an enlightening evening....to say the least!,And an incredible and moving story.

(More so when one stops to consider that R-D.,

[she asked that I only use her first name(s)...], 

was barely a teenager at the time.)
It's a shame she is only here visiting her daughter and leaving soon, she had me in stitches at times, and talk about raunchy!.....I blushed and she cracked up. It was more fun than the last date I went on!
(In the dark and distant past.....and the sex was better!)
{Okay...that was a joke, obviously we did not have sex, which was STILL better than the sex I DID have on that long ago date.......LOL!! }

I ended up walking her to her car and stowing the groceries for her and walked back into the Giant to get my bags and fill my water bottle. When I reached to pull my bags out from where I stash them while in the store I see a folded piece of paper in the food bag, and when I open it up.....a Twenty falls out!
I know the woman I was with id not put it there, because we did not go by that area, and none of the employees working the front of the store neither saw anyone by the bags, nor admitted to placing it there themselves.
I didn't press the matter, because I was tickled as hell to get money for meds, and if the person wishes to be anonymous.....well,
THAT was one of the original reasons I started this blog, to thank the faceless and anonymous folks who wish their generosity to be low key and without the hoopla and fanfare some people need to feed their egos if they give anything to anyone.
SO, THANK YOU $20.00 DOLLAR BILL FAIRY

**
|
[__]

Later......................Dave

"Cash Crisis................."

Good Evening;
So...I'm back here in Mt. Washington packing up to head over to the bus and "home" to Pikesville and the shed. We stopped at the Giant in Hunt Valley on the way to the train and Jenn and the grandmonsters and I cruised through the store and put together a care package of bread, Pop Tarts, Pringles, some half off single serve vacuum packs of lunch meat, (which I was able to put in the 'fridge at the coffee shop thanks to Kinsey), a box off the day old bakery shelf with various pastries, and a few other items.

 I earned it this visit, dealing with 3 different litter boxes and washing some clothes and towels for Jenn, and also ending up with a case of the sh*ts after touching something in the m-i-l's side of the 'fridge.....!

I need to find $100.00 by Sunday and it looks like I'm hitting the corner again with my sign, I've exhausted every other possibility at the moment other than criminal means,

.....(and if I ever go back down that dark and deadly street again,
it's gonna be "go big or go home"! no nickel and diming!).......
and I need to get meds or get ill, and deal with last months debt.

Closing time, gotta run,

Later.................................ave

"Francium, Fr-87, The Most Unstable Element, (With A Half Life of 22 Minutes)........HA!......Got That Beat!...................."

Good Morning;
Well, my last little holdout of hope was crushed yesterday morning when I called the benefits hotline for my Independence card and the Foodstamps balance remained $0.00.
I need to find $100.00 to pay off last month's debt to gain credit for this month's meds....by Saturday, or I'm royally screwed.

Still in Monkton, but I should be leaving sometime later today (Friday).
I should be able to assemble a small care package of non-perishables, (85 to 90 degree temps over the weekend...(not as badly hated as extreme cold, but not far from the mark)...from Jenn from some things here and if we stop at the Giant on the way to the Light Rail.

My biggest concern is that I will be out of 'bupes' on Saturday, with my credit at it's limit, or close enough so that I may only be able to end up with a day or two's grace. My back has been so messed up in recent weeks that I am as worried/scared/fearful of not being able to function due to pain as much as the bodily dependency issue. I have been slipping bit by bit, deeper and deeper into the fog of depression the past month, above and beyond, (or should that be 'below and behind'), the usual parameters.

Right now, exhaustion plus insomnia makes for a volatile situation, add in the physical pain and the depression and the ideations start bouncing around in my mind, aligning in that same old vicious cycle, hopelessness chasing worthlessness,....faster and faster until they spontaneously combust into the self consuming flame of action.............just to get some freakin' peace and quiet! 

Ummm...yes, sleep would probably be a real good idea right now......dontcha know?

Later.......................Dave

"Situation Normal All F*cked Up*......................"

Good Evening;

Well, still in Monkton, never left yesterday, basic 'SNAFU'* situation.
Jenn's doctor put her on a medication that knocks her out or makes her loopy and the van of the guy who Tom went to Philly to do a job with, threw a transmission.....in Philly. So his buddy towed them back to Baltimore...of course he had to drive to Philly from Baltimore to hook them up and tow them, which made for a 20 hour day all told.

MY day seemed muchhhhhhh longer!
The grandmonsters were in rare form, and I couldn't find the duct tape.

Anyway.....nothing else really to say...........

Later.......................Dave

"Just Checking In................"

Good Evening;
Well this is the 2nd night at Jenn's watching the grandmonsters. Today was the funeral for Tom's uncle, somewhere in Pa., about an hour North of Harrisburg, I think. Tomorrow morning Jenn has to meet with the surgeon, because she is again going under the knife the end of June. The sonogram found something last week that needs to be removed.
I'll be back in town Tuesday afternoon and back in the shed that night.

Wednesday morning I have to go to D.S.S. to try to see wtf happened to my benefits this month, then Jenn is picking me up after Devin's speech therapy and I'll be back up here for monstersitting duty early Thursday am.

I gotta go now, this damn keyboard and the freakin' runaway "eeee" issue is a pain in the ass and I'm not in the mood tonight for the bullshit!

Lateeeeeeeeeeeer...................................Daveeeeeeeeeeeeee!

"Thunderstorms And Sh*tstorms................"

Good Morning;

So...how about that rain last night? That storm front really dumped one hell of a lot of water on us up here in Monkton.

Speaking of getting dumped on...(and I am not talking about water)... there has been some sort of screw up at D.S.S. and I did not get my little bit of T.D.A.P. cash, or Foodstamps for June, and I am not sure if the M.A. is on the same schedule or not, won't know until prescription refill time around the 23rd.

No money, no food, no bus fare.....(and the laptop's 'EEEEEE' key is sticking so I have to either go back and add thm or eerasee thm!....aarrrrgghhhh!)...it's gonna bee a long freakin' month.

Later......................Dave

"Friday Facts, Files, Funnies, Findings, & Filler............."

Good Evening;
Well......I've not posted since Monday through a combination of  either not really feeling like it, feeling like it but not having either wifi or power at the same time, or beginning a post and getting sidetracked by someone or the Internet, or running around like crazy trying to locate one of my meds and just not having time.

I'm at Jenn's in Monkton monstersitting the grandkids tonight, (and last night), and just hoping that if one of the possible tornadoes forecast for the area does come through,.....being in the basement will help. I was out on the screen porch just before it got dark and just when I thought it could not possibly rain any harder.....it came down in such volume and force that for a few minutes, due to the rain hitting the ground and bouncing back up 3 or 4 inches there was literally a 'carpet of water' over the back yard and the meadow that Tom had cut yesterday. It was really cool to watch.....and I'm glad it went away after the rate of fall slowed and the water was able to seep into the ground.

I was scheduled to be leaving right in the middle of the tornado warnings, watches, and alerts, and the period of the heaviest rainfall as the largest storm cells passed over. I told Jenn what she'd be driving through.....annnnd I'll be leaving in the morning.....lol.
I'm glad I'm not in the shed, but I don't look forward to seeing the mess if as much rain hit Pikesville as did here.

I spent Tuesday and Wednesday trying to find a couple 'bupes' to carry me through until Saturday when my refill is available, and had no luck at all. I was eventually able to get a substitute in a low enough dosage that it would both act on my back pain and stave off withdrawal symptoms without dragging me back into 'addiction' as opposed to a bodily 'dependence', it may sound the same but there is a major (and life threatening) difference.

It has been a stressful week as regards the health (physical and mental) and well being of people I care about.
Rachel's mother was back in the hospital for a week with complication's from the surgery he had this past winter. 

Jenn had a sonogram today and needs more surgery on her breast to remove what, hopefully, is only a sebaceous cyst and more infection where she had the surgery last month.
Tom's uncle died, and I'll be back here Sunday evening so I can watch the kids on Monday, the day of the funeral.
Monkee tore ligaments in her knee somehow, and it took a week to get the tests needed to diagnose it.....(great healthcare plan, Hopkins!!)
Monday night, only a minute after I left the Starbucks, (and I had went back in to grab a straw for Jenn who was giving me a lift back to the shed!), the two guys working that night were robbed at gunpoint by 2 masked gunmen who forced their way in.
Even though it is not me directly being affected by these events, the 'collateral damage' has engulfed me to a certain extent.

It was a rough week as far as food and money went, with a couple dumpster diving  expeditions into the depths of the "Dunkin' Dumpster" and some very creative sale/clearance/coupon combination shopping to stretch $7.38 a looooong way.

That's  all I'm feeling like writing for now, so....

Later.................Dave