Good Morning;
So it's 3:48 am on Friday morning and I have not been out of the shed for 3 days and 4 nights since I came in on Monday night, nor farther than 100 yards, leaving only to go to the Giant or the gas station for bathroom/personal hygiene purposes and to get food. The big difference tonight is that most of the internal dialogue has receded to a level where I do not have the almost overpowering desire to shove an ice pick in my ear to stop both the noise and the content of the 'voices'. A lot of writing, some reading of other's writing, both intentionally sought out and serendipitously stumbled upon, and the beginning of the end of a particularly vicious depressive cycle. And a bit of healing as the grief cycle progresses through it's stages. I just really, really needed some time to isolate. I'm still friggin' messed up as hell, but with a bit more functionality.
One kind of weird thing is that even when someone is 'homeless', it sometimes is hard to find a place to be away from people. When you want to be alone, you just stay inside your house/condo/apartment, with your Mr. Coffee and microwave and indoor plumbing. For me.....indoor plumbing means making sure the empty juice bottle is a 'widemouth'........LOL! (and of course it is only a 'half-ass' solution....lol, I have to commute if there is going to be any 'paperwork' involved....HA!
I am meeting my son-in-law Tom at the apartment in the morning so I can shower and rid myself of this case of monkey butt-swamp ass-zombie funk. I'm not exactly sure what is going on, but Jenn and the kids are not there at present, (which has been one more situation that is beyond my control but which I have let consume some of the dwindling stability I have left). I'm hoping that I have some clean jockeys and t-shirts there, recent events have caused me to totally lose track of what's where and what's washed. Doing a load is not fiscally possible right now.......let's just put it this way, I found a nickel on the floor in the Giant tonight.....and doubled my net worth......lol.....not!
After I bathe, depending on the rain and the time, I have to see if I can get to JAI and get fresh 'scrips' for at least my BP meds, I have a little it of a back- up stash for the generic Zantac and cyclobenzeprine and the ibuprofen.
I also have to get past DSS to check on some mailing address data, recertification dates, and to verify a rumor that I can get a damaged card replaced on the spot, instead of having to cancel and request a new one by mail, and wait 10-20 days...(MAYBE!)...to get it, and then have to activate it.
Hooray for outsourcing and privatization of even U.S. Gov't 'HELP???' lines and service centers.
A couple good posts at www.hardlynormal.com & www.invisiblepeople.tv, both of which can be accessed on Facebook too.
I also stumbled on an interesting blog and website called
"The Velveteen Rabbi" at www.velveteenrabbi.blogs.com
I stopped to look because of the play on words, and stayed to read because of the content. Go to 'About VR' if you click on this link, for her profile/info/bio.
Well that's it for now, it's after 6:00 am. and my fingers are getting numb again,(which is another thing I have to get a definitive diagnoses on!), it is about 41 degrees out tonight, and tomorrow night is supposed to be cooler yet, and rainy. The rain is predicted to start around 1:00 pm. Friday and continue in varying degrees into Monday!...yuchhhhh! But at least the temps. climb back into the 70s on Saturday,
Later...........................Dave
No comments:
Post a Comment