Good Evening;
Well it's closer to morning than evening technically, but I haven't gone to bed yet. Today was another uneventful, end of the month, out of money, out of Foodstamps, out of meds day. Fairly typical, moderately stressful, but this time on the upward slope of the depression cycles curve. When I left Jenn's last night after showering to catch the 10:00 pm. bus back to the shed,
(and which I saw go by as I was speaking to my son-in-law as I waited to cross the street.....2 minutes earlier than it was supposed to even have left the Metro station, meaning at least 8 minutes earlier than the stop I was aiming to catch it at....and this is a bus that I catch 5 nights a week at the Metro on the average....and it is ALWAYS a minimum of 5 minutes late getting to the station to start it's run!!??!!....but it was warm and I had a book and the next bus was due in a half hour and the location makes for good 'idiot watching' as morons with their asses hanging out of their pants, which are belted across their crotches attempt to run across the street, in traffic, without falling on their faces....lol!),
I snagged a serving of her awesome baked ziti with sausage and ground beef, and also a container of tuna and egg salad, plus confiscated chocolate from one of the grandkids half dozen Easter baskets. That and a quick raid on the 'Dunkin Dumpster' kept me with comestibles through today and into breakfast tomorrow, (today actually, Saturday). I've still got a pouch of pink salmon and 2 slices of bread and a 1/3 of a jar of peanut butter in case nothing else falls my way over the weekend. Monday the 2nd of May I should get the little bit of D.S.S money for the month.
I'm still stuck in a sort of a 'late night loop' as we used to call it when I worked the graveyard shift. Even if I get to sleep at a reasonable hour, (by 2:00 am.), I am only sleeping an hour or so and waking up unable to get back to sleep. Some days sleep is nonexistent until 7- 8- 9:00 am., and then it is not restful. Couple this with the massive depressive episode of the past few weeks and I'm not worth a damn. Mix in the first meal of the day at 4 or 5:00 pm., and then being hungry and eating too much too quick and the whole body and metabolism is screwed up big time. I'm starting to resynchronize now though, even though it is 2:45 am. now, I am starting to feel as if I could fall asleep by 3:30 am., if I sign off now, and if I don't push past that point where tired and sleepy coincide. I was up and out earlier today, (and hope to do the same in the morning....and find a way to scrounge some coffee!), to the library, then to the subway and the light rail to the coffee shop where I ate. When that closed I took the light rail and bus over to Monkee's to get the meds I need for the weekend and which I has miscalculated the number of last time. From there it was by bus down to Johns Hopkins, (and watching the sad state of the junkies and crackheads on the corners as they tried to scheme and scam their ways through the last few days of the month until the first batch of checks come out in May. The 2 most dangerous times to be walking the streets are the first week of any month....and the last week. The former because the criminals and dopers both know that people in the 'hood have cash.....and the latter because the dopers are broke and desperate and dope sick.
On Sunday I have tentative plans to stop by Rachel's and drop off my bags, except for the laptop, and we are going to take her puppy for a walk down the hill to the Starbucks. We are going to get her mother to pack up a picnic lunch for us and spend the afternoon together. May 13th is her birthday and I have to see what she wants without being TOO obvious, I don't want her to think I may be getting her something that is beyond the budget this month......it is going to be tight, to say the least. The good thing is that she is truly an appreciative and grateful child, not greedy like some. Which is all the more reason that I want to try to do as much as I can.
Anyway, sleep beckons....I hope it is not just an illusion.
Later...............................Dave
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