"Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On.....................or Internal Affairs.................."

Good Afternoon;

Well......What can I say about that game yesterday? I was physically and emotionally exhausted by the time it ended, not to mention pissed off, confused and wondering how no one else but Anna Marie and I noticed that aliens had kidnapped the Ravens at Halftime and substituted pod grown look-a-like life forms for all our players!

My gut was sore from all the tension and my voice was hoarse from all the shouting at the TV set at Jenn's, (we watched the game together...in different rooms...(for safety reasons.....LOL!), and my fingers were tired from all the texting back and forth to Anna Marie.

A heartbreaker....a real heartbreaker.

The sore gut must have been weakened to the extent that some of my grand daughter Devin's cold/flu germs decided to emulate the Beverly Hillbillies and load up their old viral trucks and move in with me, bringing along the whole menagerie of intestinal flora and fauna, lock stock, and barrel. And of course the first stage of this particular strain of viral visitation is the "Poopapalooza Festival", complete with hot and cold running diarrhea, chills and thrills, stomach wrenching cramps, and shakes, shivers, & quivers galore! It was a real fun night....NOT!!!!...with many, many, many sudden and urgent trips to the gas station with just barely enough notice to get a pair of shoes on that after the third 'near miss', I just left them on until the situation slowed down around 8:00 am....(and the hell with trying to put a coat on, I was hoping the cold would put a 'freeze' on things for a minute!.....LOL!).

After the umpteenth trip, when I had to drink 2 quarts of water for emergency re-hydration purposes, I took my dose of 'bupe' a few hours early, for the reason that it slows or stops the motility as a side effect. (Not a good reason to take it on it's own, [although, way back in 1980 when I picked up a case of very serious Salmonella, the doctor did give me Paregoric to stop the uncontrollable muscular stomach and intestinal contractions], and sometimes if the person's system is 'normal', it works a bit too far in the opposite direction, but for me and my screwed up and 'surgically shortened' intestinal system that happened to be another unexpected 'off prescription' benefit and blessing of the drug.) But it worked, even though I'm not about to bet a pair of clean shorts that the next 'bubble' is only going to be gas......lol!

Anyway, enough with the juvenile humor, I hope that I don't get the same reactions in Stage 2 that Edward and Devin had, the dreaded Technicolor Yawns of....'PukeStock'!................lol!

Okay, it's time to take a break for a few minutes, Erik just called and we are meeting here and going to see if the laptop he has for me works better this time. He has been testing it at home, and now for 'field trials'.

Back shortly...........maybe 'mobile'!

Later.................Dave

"Sleep??????....................I'll Sleep When I'm Dead................."

Good Afternoon;

So another night of nearly no sleep, not influenced by drugs, alcohol, or food and drink. Insomnia sucks almost as cold weather!

I'm still at Jenn's this afternoon and this evening, (until the Ravens game is over), then back out to the shed tonight.

I cooked breakfast for the Grandkids and Tom this morning, and me too, but Jenn was still enjoying the 'second coming' of her Taco Bell indulgence last night and passed on the french toast and beef scrapple.............lol!

They all went to a 6th birthday party for one of Jenn's best friends daughters and I did my laundry and tried to take a nap....but the lovely Caribbean Island natives in the apartment next door came home and had the stereo thumping with drop beat reggae to the point that things here in Jenn's apt. were vibrating......sleep was not an option.....tonight I better drain the old bladder completely before I get all nice and cozy in the sleeping bag, because once I wrap my self in....it's going to be just like Alan Shephard on the first space flight...."Houston we have a problem.........oh, well....never mind.".....................LOL!!!!"

Tom is going out as soon as they come home and Jenn and I are going to duct tape the kids in front of their TV and we are going to be watching the Ravens kick some Pittsburgh ass........(cross fingers/knock wood/....here bunny, bunny, bunny.........lol!)!

WAIT.......it's quiet.........too quiet.......later,

I'm going nappies!

Dave

P.S. .......... Welcome to the 3 new Followers, who all seem to be Boxer owners!

(The Dog....not the Porsche......lol.)

Thanks for the publicity Craig........lol.

"Medical Mishegas..........................."

Good Morning;

As you can surmise from the time of this post I'm not at the Pikesville library just now.....lol. And I do not yet have my own laptop yet, (maybe by tomorrow, cross your fingers!), besides it is way too cold to be typing if I was in the shed tonight, my fingers would be as agile as bratwurst and I'd wear out the spell check. Last night it was so cold my fingers went numb everytime I tried to read, I couldn't even turn the pages of the book. I was warm enough though when I did my turtle imitation, except for the tip of my nose and my chapped lips, but it was a really rough night inside the old brain box. Added to the damn insomnia was the sudden onset of a bout of deep depression, flavored with a large dose of loneliness. Mix in the worries over the latest batch of medical issues I was informed of Wednesday, (more on that coming up), concerns about the meeting I had that day with my caseworker from Prologue about the S.S.A. filing and the "good cause" letter for the request for an extension of the filing date and the request for a hearing, and the pressure to switch my D.S.S. office from the city to the county....and it ended up being a very 'un-fun' night to be alone with all the voices in my head.

When I did fall asleep arond 6:00 am. I only slept for 3 hours and woke up cold as hell because I had tossed and turned so much I was no longer on or under any of the blankets and padding. I covered back up and lay there trying to get warmed up again, but never did get fully warm, until about 11:00 am.

I was planning on heading over here to Jenn's to babysit the grandmonsters about 5:00 pm. but she called and said I could get here arond 1:30 pm., so after killing time at the Giant and catching the bus ....I did. Tom was going to a Kung Fu tournament in Virginia, and Jenn was heading to the store and then a meeting and a night out with a girlfriend. I was in a creative kitchen mood so I ended up sauteeing shrimp with garlic and ginger and making an Alfredo sauce with crabmeat and tossing them both with a pound of fettucine, and oven broiling a couple of t-bone steaks with garlic-black pepper coating, and after all the tasting while cooking I wasn't hungry anymore.....lol. We're gonna have a one hell of a breakfast here later this morning though!

Okay..................Wednesday.

So as the doctor was palpating my abdomen and I was telling her about the sudden sharp shooting pain I get when sitting up and leaning forward with my legs out in front of me, (such as when I am pulling the zipper on the sleeping bag up), on the right side and the feeling of extreme fullness or swelling internally on the left side, (where the neuropathic pain from the pneumonia surgery is located), she checks the radiologists reports and pulls out the referral forms again. This time SHE is doing the referring and having Jai set the appointments to;.........the Neurologist for the EMG test and sciatic nerve tumor examination, the Hematologist for the (even more) enlarged spleen, and the General Surgeon for the multiple gall stones and enlarged and and possibly 'hot' gall bladder. And amazingly....there is a huge envelope from the Neurologist's office here in today's mail at Jenn's apartment.....after I could not even get a human to return a call! (There is also a bill from the Neurosurgeons business office that has to be sent back informing them that they are billing the wrong entity, and that they either have to bill M.A. or send it through Jai,.....but it's not my problem!)

I'm really not thrilled with these findings

Okay, the battery is dying and the power cord is in their bedroom, so I'm outta here for now.............more tomorrow.

Later.............................Dave

"Early Dismissal..............."

Good Afternoon;

I'm on my way to the bus stop to head down to my doctors appointment at JAI,

so this is a quick up date. More later...tomorrow morning??

Court Tuesday...."Contempt Charges Dismissed..You Are Free To Go....."

is all I heard as I was 'out the door and on the street before the echoes died'!!

Later.......Dave

"Cold Weather..................................... BUT A Warm Weekend!..........."

Good Afternoon;

So......It has been an interesting weekend!

Temperature-wise....it really sucked!

If I have neglected to mention it before...

"I am not now nor have I ever been,

.....a member of the communist party....

(No wait.......that's not right, I watched "Good Night And Good Luck" again....lol!...

a fan of cold weather"!!!

If you Google 'Raynauds' and go to the Wikipedia page, you'll see some really wildly colored pictures of the way one's hands can be affected. My hands go yellow and red, but not to the extent pictured......BUT my feet come real close!!

Like I said:

Cold Weather Sucks!!!

But People-wise it had been a pretty awesome weekend! Beginning with Saturday morning and running into Cheryl,(Sp.?), at the Giant, then getting the e-mail from Erik the the laptop looks like it is good to go. And then as I am leaving the library and getting on the bus in the afternoon about 4:00 pm. the phone rings and it is Inette and 'Iokepa, my friends from Hawaii, (http://www.returnvoyage.com/ & also Google "Grandmother's Whisper/Inette Miller/Infinity Publishing"), asking where we can meet. I gave then directions to the Mt. Washington Starbucks and met them there. (and they were thrilled with the preservation and re-use of the old mill buildings and agreed with me that the 'aura' or 'feel' that the building exudes makes for a great atmosphere), and we met just after 5:00 pm. and spent a wonderful but way too short 2 hours catching up. The book, "Grandmothers Whisper" is published and they are on another cross country loop this time promoting the book at independent bookstores and at the homes of friend's who have previously hosted (and new friends too), Return Voyage 'gatherings'. Theirs is an amazing story and they are amazing people who I am grateful to know and who I most likely never wopuld have met had I not been on my own journey. Kindred souls, who have helped show me that 'Houseless does not neccessarily mean Homeless, and taught me to try to learn and understand the hidden meanings that life is revealing to me through the people and experiences of the past 4 years.

Maholo and Aloha, My Friends, until our next meeting.

After they had left, surprising me with a signed and dedicated copy of "Grandmothers Whisper", (and I was able to return their graciousness with a copy of "Talespinner" that I was compelled to print up the other day, but with no reason or foreknowledge why I needed to do so!), my newest friend Abe stopped in, just to say hello, and find out how I was doing. he did not even stay for a cup of coffee, just ran in and out. That was a sweet gesture and took me by surprise, I mean it's not as if the Starbucks is on the way to anyplace, it's in a dead end shopping center and is a 'destination' type of place. The rest of the night was typical....cold, walk to bus, cold, wait for bus, ride bus, cold, wait for next bus, ride bus to gas station, cold, crawl shivering into bag.....WARM!!!!.......lol!

Sunday I stayed in the bag as long as I could, until 11:30 am. then went to the Giant. After returning the circulation to my hands with the now very hot water, I went to the CoinStar machine and cashed in the $5.00 bag of coins I had saved and picked up off the streets/floors over the past week and put the balance on my (registered) Starbucks card so I would be again able to get the free refills. I then went out into the damn cold and the doble damned wind and caught the bus and the train and the bus to Mt. Washington and walked to the Starbucks. While I was sitting there sipping my first cup of coffee, (which someone who wishes not to be named....lol!), rang up as a refill...which came up free on the card....Thanks!....Abe walked in and was looking for a place to sit, near an outlet. As he was getting his drink I saw a couple getting up to leave and snagged the table for him. Whne he sat down he said he had something for me and went out to his car and came back in with...... a portable, Digital, LED screen TV, in a carry case with AC adapter and antenna, (which has a magnetic base mount...very cool and handy), that he gave to me. He said he needed a monitor once about a year ago for a photo shoot and bought it and it has been sitting ever since...so it's mine! Damn, now that is a NICE gesture! Even though I have never been a 'collector' of electronics or other material items, (usually spending money on 'experiences'...[dining, shows, travel.....etc.]...I still like and appreciate 'toys' as much as the next guy..(and if I HAD lots of money......wellllll.....THAT'S a horse of a different colored kettle of fish!....LOL!)

So I got to watch the second haf of the Wild Card Playoff Game and see the Ravens beat up on the Chiefs!!!! YES!!!!! Now they have to keep the momentum and the attitude going through Saturday afternoon and evening and kick some Pittsburgh butt!!!!

A bit later I wandered over to the Whole Foods and saw Michel, (pronounced MY-KEL....), and she shared with me that she was going to have a baby boy in June and showed me the sonogram, and then she tells me to be there today by 3:00 pm. as she has a coat for me. (and shit-oh-dear....I'm gonna be real close....did not realize it was so late....).

A short time later the "EX" brought Rachel by for a little while, (and the little stinker was hungry and ate all the roast beast I had been about to eat for dinner...plus some of my Entemann's Chocolate Chip Cookies..LOL!!!), and we visited and I walked her over to meet Michel.

That was the high point of the weekend for me, seeing Rachel. The rrest of the night was arepeat of yesterday...except the damn bus was late making me miss connections and wait even LONGER inthe damn cold...at least the wind had died down some....making the wind chill only about 17 damn degrees!!!

I gotta run and try to catch the buses now...Tomorrow is court in the morning, which has me much more stressed than I am letting on, so I'll see you in the afternoon.............God Willing..And The Creek Don't Rise!

With any luck, the snow that is forecast will close the Courts,

"PRAY FOR SNOW"

Later...............dave

Fame......................"

Good Afternoon;

Well it's white and cold again, it can end anytime now!

I met with Shelly from Prologue after I left here yesterday and we made arrangements for her to pick me up and accompany me to court on Tuesday. She is going to type up another letter stating that the S.S.I. case is still pending and that prologue is representing me in the matter and helping with filings etc. We also began assembling medical records for the S.S.A. appeal filing date extension, and found out that we also have to go into the S.S.A. office. After Tuesday we will schedule that and also the postponed trip to Walmart for boots. (and not a minute too soon either, these ones from Tom are on their last legs)

I came by here and was going to get back online but the wait was too long, and the crazies were here too and I did not feel like hearing all the crap and cursing.

I ran into this kid, (well he's a young 20-something), I talk to sometimes and found out he had not had anything to eat since yesterday, so I went down and grabbed him some cans of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee pasta meals and a package of cookies, because I just got the monthly allotment on the Food Stamps card, and it was the right thing to do at that moment. I wouldn't have given him cash...(If I had any that is.....LOL), because it probably would have gone right to drugs if he asked for that, but all he wanted was food and I was happy to help.

I went over to the Starbucks and had coffee, (HOT coffee!....the damn Giant hot water si luke warm again), and breakfast...at 5:00 pm.....lol...and tried to read for a while. It was crowded at this time and I was at a 4-top table so I kept offering seats to people who were looking for somewhere to sit, and ended up in conversation with 4 different groups in a row, and then the last couple guys were talking fast and fluent German, with the occasional phrase or word of English interspersed and it was very melodic and pleasant just to listen to, even though I had very little idea of what they were talking about....lol.

Stuart(Stewart?) came in and saw me and dropped the March 2010 issue of Baltimore magazine in front of me and apologized over and over again for losing it and the Feb. 19th issue of th Jewish Times that I had let him borrow to read. He had been down to the Baltimore Mag. offices twice already....and had the wrong date in mind...lol. He says he is going to get to the JT next week if he can find it. I keep telling him stop fretting so much, it's not that big a deal, but he feels real bad about about it and will not be satisfied until he replaces them both. It's funny because this is the guy who dropped the 100 Forever stamps worth $44.00 in the bathroom at the coffee shop and josh and I tracked him down by the receipt from a package he had sent that was in the envelope also. I have known him for a while and had thought that it was him, because he tends to be a bit absentminded...lol. He had put both magazines in a cardboard FedEx envelope and lost it somewhere between the car the Whole Foods and the Starbucks one evening.

Anyway we talked for a while and then Allen came in and sat for a while, and then the folks from the Friday night meeting at the church across the way came in and I ended up talkng to a bunch of them I know....and it was 8:15 pm. before I even read the comics in the Sun.....lol.

Last night was cold, cold, cold, and I ended up having to get up and 'fill the jug' 3 times, (too much coffee too late and the damn prostate decided to act up.......lol!), and putting my feet into the icy cold slippers seemed to suck all the heat out of my body. Then, it took longer to warm the bag back up....and repeat, and again, so it was a broken night of extremes in temperature. When I looked out and saw snow at 5:30 am. i made the decision to stay inside the sleeping bag as long as my back would let me....which ended up being 12:30 pm. this afternoon.....ha! I had to re-lay all the blankets and the bag this afternoon after I dressed, first putting the pants in the bag with me to warm up enough so that the creases would not cut my femoral artery, because I had twisted and urned so much last night, and by the time I finished my hands were frozen and hurting....but not as bad as when they started to warm up and the blood started returning!!

I went into the Giant and picked up some food for today and found out the water was still only warm so I have not had my coffee yet. As I was staring at the Entemann's pastry and doughnut display figuring out what to get since they are 'buy one get one free', (one of the 2 times you'll see me buying donuts, the other is when there is a $2.00 off sticker on the already reduced doughnuts on the Giant day-old rack), a woman stops and declares..."I know you!...I know I know you from somewhere!" then she says..."I read your blog!" We talked for a few minutes and it turns out that she used to be friends with Allen and his ex-wife. She said to say hello to him and that maybe we will all meet up at the Starbucks for coffee one evening. She then says that she has been reading the blog for a while and finds it very interesting and that she has wanted to do this for a while...and reaches in her purse and hands me 2 $5.00 bills. I thank her and tell her it is greatly appreciated and we talk for another minute or two and move on.

Wow, that's twice in 2 weeks that I have serendipitiously run into a follower. next thing you know I'll have a 'public', and then.....look out baby, I'm gettin' me an "ENTOURAGE"!...............ROTHFLMAO!!

So, Thank YOU Cheryl, (I'm guessing at the spelling...ok?), you made my day! I do hope that you stop by the coffee shop sometime, my e-mail is in the header of the blog if you want to write.

I'm heading out now, time is almost up here on the computer. I have been playing E-tag with Inette and 'Iokepa and their busy schedule. We are hoping to snacth few minutes together at the coffee shop while they are in town.

I'll see you after 1:00 pm to morrow....or Monday morning,

Later..............................dave

"Peek-A-Boo?........Or..........Hide And Go Seek?..........&..............Cold Weather Still Sucks!!!................."

Good Morning;

Another bitch of a morning as regards getting up and out and moving. The water bottle with only an inch of water in it was frozen solid again, and the depression has me moving as sluggish as a lizard in the snow. If I was not having abdominal pains I would not be up yet.....well actually I'd be getting up right this minute and heading to the bus to Prologue for my 12:15 pm. meeting.

It may have been better NOT to get up and go to the Giant though! I opened the shed door and sitting directly in front of the door facing me across the lot about 25 yards away was a Baltimore County cop sitting in his car doing whatever it is cops do when they sit in the semi-secluded places you sometimes see them at.

IO just kept moving as if I belonged there put my bags down on a snow free patch of asphalt and latched the door. I picked up my bags, looked his way, (and I could not tell if he/she was looking or not due to the sun glare off the windshield), and headed on my way to the Giant. He/she did not move, and I passed another police woman walking that way past me from the Giant who did not stop either. When I cmae out of the Giant the car was still there and I walked over here to the library.

It's kind of a weird feeling, not knowing right now. I guess they either know who I am and don't care, or thought I belonged there.

Okay I have to get the bus down the street now, may be back later.....may not be back until tomorrow.......(I got invited to a poetry reading and discussion at the Baltimore Hostel across from the Main Branch of the Enoch Pratt Free Library tomorrow at Noon by e-mail from someone who must have read the blog)......or Sunday.

Later.........Dave

" Litlle Bit Of This...............Little Bit Of That........................"

Good Afternoon;

So...I never made it to the library yesterday. Jenn called and said it was a good day to come over and do laundry and shower.....and entertain the soon to be 3 years old Devin because she, (Jenn), felt like crap. There's always a catch...right......lol.

(Oh damn, this is going to be a short post today,(or not as it has turned out.....lol!), my damn fingers are spasming, and if it was not for the backspace key and spell check all this would be illegible!....From a spelling sense...any incomprehensible content I will claim as my own............LOL!)

Anyway, I went over there in the morning and left just after Ed got home from school and my clothes were dry, around 4:00 pm. Between the detour from the serious auto/pedestrian accident on Patterson Ave. and all the police and FBI agents canvassing the apartment complex interviewing people and looking for clues relating to the 16 year old girl who went missing on Dec. 28th. It took me 90 minutes to get to Mt Washington, (normally a 25 minute ride on the bus I took, the #60). (And I can't believe that I actually started to flirt with the FBI agent who was talking to me at the door of Jenn's apt. after the serious discussion was over...lol! Actually what I really can't believe is that she gave me her card and told me to "Please call with any information I may find...or when the case is resolved".....with a kinda of strange little smile!?! She looked vaguely familliar, but I don't recognize the name, but when they took my name for there list of who they had talked to she looked up and stared for a minute. Between the TBI from the car accident, and my CRS......I figure she has to be someone I cannot recall from the past. Maybe all the way back to elementary school, because I have been running into a lot of folks I have not seen in decades recently.

But I digress, it has been a rough couple of days, as you could probably glean from Tuesdays post. I have been in pain ranging from long lasting chronic severe discomfort to sudden and intense totally draining and debilitating periods of extreme but very short agony, in my back, gut and leg. I am pretty sure a gallstone became trapped in the neck and then fell back into the gallbladder this morning, and it has wiped me out. Add in the fact that the average temperature in side the sleeping bag is maybe 80 degrees, and the ambient temperature in the shed has ranged from 40 to 25 degrees, then figure the shock of crawling out and getting dressed and experiencing a sudden 40 degree drop while putting on cold clothes and shoes, well is it any wonder that getting up and out when I have no place I need to be is not a priority? My hands are in pain by the time I get to putting my coat on, and i still cannot get an answer from the neurologists office about my referral and appointment, even after many calls.

I did have an e-mail and a call from my caseworker at Prologue though and we have a meeting set up for 12:15 pm. Friday, (tomorrow), afternoon to discuss, S.S.A. filings and Tuesday's (the 11th) court date, so that is one good thing.

My friends 'Iokepa and Inette, (www.returnvoyage.com and the book "Grandmothers Whisper"), are in town and I hope we can meet this time, the last time they were here the logistics never worked out.

To backtrack a little, to Tuesday night.... I had gone over to the Whole Foods for a minute and when I returned to the coffeeshop on my table was a large garbage bag filled with breakfast sandwiches.....at least 50 of them!!!!.....with my other bags and my back it was way more than I could carry, (and obviously more than I could eat), & more than would fit in Jenn's refrigerator and freezer together, I am not hooked in to the missions or the shelters anymore so I have no distribution network and although the weather is cold enough, even if I could get them there, the mouse in the shed would be calling his friends for a party! I remembered that the young lady working at the Whole Foods mentioned that her church does a soup kitchen/food pantry so I asked her if she could get them to refrigeration before they spoiled and she said yes, so I left them with her as both the coffee shop and grocery store were about to close. I just could not throw them away after they had been entrusted to me before being assigned to the dumpster...it would have been criminal to throw out that much edible and storable food! I did manage to add a few more of a different variety of sandwich than I had gotten on Monday night to my supply also, and at some point yesterday while I was out of the shed the mouse managed to squeeze in the box I had them in, eat through the bag and the packaging and nibble on the corner of the sandwich....(then the little bastard left with out eating any more of it!). I am getting real tired of eating sausage, egg, and cheddar, on an english muffin; bacon, egg, and gouda, on ciabatta roll; & reduced fat turkey bacon, swiss, and egg white on a whole grain english muffin....for threeeeee meals a day!, (sometimes within a 6 hour period.....lol), I can't wait for the Food Stamps tomorrow!!

I guess that is it for today, I'll be back tomorrow...maybe in the morning if I have enough time be for my meeting, and maybe in the afternoon when it's over....or Saturday at some point......who knows? I'm hoping to find a place to trade a steak dinner (I'll supply and cook) for a bed or a couch, because even if the snow that is forecast for Fri./Sat. never materializes........it's supposed to be 17 degrees with nasty wind chills at night over the weekend!

Oh well, WTF!, I'm outta here, time for...'Breakfast'.....yummmm.......lol!

Oh and I forgot to mention it, the 'Dunkin Dumpster' is back in operation since the store reopened....I may have over done the crullers though....I feel like the French army....all I want to do is 'Give Up!!!'......LOL!

speaking of surrender, I went to the Wednesday night "30 and Over Group" NA meeting last night at the same church Jenn's meeting is at. (30 is an age not a clean time requirement).

I ran into an old acquaintance at the Starbucks where everyone was meeting before the meeting and was introduced to the woman who was celebrating 13 years that night, so I wandered over. it was pretty impressive to realize that the cumlative 'clean time' among the 'old timers' there was over 300 years...."It Works If You Work It"

Later.....................Dave

"Reflections on......'ION'-ization........"

Good Afternoon;

Well the holidays are over and I can drop the facade that we put up so as not to spoil other people's good times. I was just so NOT into the season this year. Like a flashlight with weak and fading batteries I could begin to get into the spirit of things, but fade fairly rapidly and slip into darkness, and after a period of time, again put on the cheerful face and happy attitude for a while. It went on for a few weeks in this cycle, finally failing for good over New Years Eve and Day. The time spent with Rachel and Ed and Devin was too much seesawing back and forth between joyful and stressful to be any relaxation at all. Not like my time with Rachel alone over Xmas weekend. Even after Rachel went home and Jenn and Tom and the grandkids went out, leaving me alone in her apartment for 4 or 5 hours, I still could not unwind. I ended up back at the shed about 11:00 pm. Saturday night and could not relax enough to fall asleep until about 3:30 am. After the 3 hours sleep I ended up with on NYE I wanted to sleep all day....

Depression, Agitation, Frustration, Confusion, Exhaustion, Isolation, Indigestion, Confliction, Infection...et.al. And the Lack of Affection, Direction, Motivation, Ambition, Protection, Possesions

But first thing Sunday morning I was up and out at 7:00 am. first to the Giant to pull cash off the card, (it won't swipe anymore and it costs $5.00 to get a replacement...by calling the out of state 'service center', and then having it mailed out, with the usual efficiency and promptness one can expect.....HA!, it took a friend a dozen phone calls and 45 days to get her replacement card, that's why I was freaking out when I thought my card was lost and gone back in November!), and on the bus and out to the Metro to get my monthly disability bus pass then take the train and the bus to Monkee's to get my meds for the month, then back by bus and Light Rail to the coffee shop and Whole Foods for breakfast....about 1:00 pm. by this time. After meeting and greeting a bunch of people who stopped in to say Happy New Year and closing the coffee shop and catching the bus and the bus back to Pikesville, I ended up in the shed around 9:30 pm., read for an hour and fell asleep...aka, passed out...with the lantern on. I woke up about 5:00 am. with an aching back and a bursting bladder and after dealing with one by intake, (of morning meds), and the other by outflow, I went back to sleep and woke up at 12:30 pm., feeling like crap, both itchy and stinky. I called Jenn and asked if I could stop by and shower and caught the 1:05 bus after a high speed dress, pack, and stow. After a cup of coffee and a shower and shave I felt human again, and the post holiday blues sloughed off, leaving me with just the normal clinical depression to deal with. (That's pretty effed up when you re-read that sentence ain't it? When one is happy to return to a state of depression is considered 'normal'?.....Should I LOL!...or COL!...?)

Anyway I really did not feel like going to the library and doing what I am doing now, (and I still don't....but if I let it get too far along without writing....things get worse and seem worse, and that needle starts looking awfully good again. And as much as I want to go there.....I REALLY don't want to go THERE!) So I jumped on the bus from Jenn's and headed over to the Starbucks about 2:45 pm. just before Ed and Tom got home. I ended up eating my first meal of the day about 4:30 pm. after going over to Whole Foods and committing one of the cardinal sins of food shopping....'Shopping While Hungry'. But I did not go too far overboard and the mini baguette was still warm and the bloody roast beef had only been given a brief glimpse of the fire, and the fresh squeezed orange juice mixed so well with the vodka.......so it was well worth it as MY New Years celebration.

I again saw a few folks who were not yet back to school or work who had not been around recently and Allen stopped by, (and he just walked in here too), and we talked for an hour or so. And again I realize how lucky/blessed, (take your pick depending on your theological stand.....lol), I am, even as effed up as my body is. He goes in for a needle in the eye today, eye surgery next week, and on the 31st has his right shoulder replaced. (I told him it will help balance the missing left leg and he laughed...it's a good thing we both have a 'black' sense of humor and an appreciation of the absurd and the ironic!).

We may go the $3.00 movies later this week if there is something decent playing.

I have to call the neurologist to find out why they have not called me with anappointment as they said they would when I stopped in to make one and was told I had to call, and when I called and was told they had the referral and would call me. I also have to get ahold of my paperwork for both court and S.S.A. from Prologue since after a few e-mails and calls I have not heard back from my caseworker. I have court on the 11th, Tuesday and I also need to check on the records JAI sent to the court, I think it was before my last visit to the doctors and does not include the most recent set of tests and referrals...that is tomorrows agenda, so I do not know if I'll get here to the library or not. I have a feeling I'm going to have to go places in person, (based on previous phone results....lol.).

I'm going to talk to Allen for a minute and then head over to the coffee shop and eat. I recieved a bag of breakfast sandwiches last night, 10 sausage egg and cheddar on english muffin, and 6 turkey bacon, egg white, and cheese(?) on whole wheat english muffin. Jenn picked me up after her meeting, actually I walked over after the coffee shop closed and waited outside for 30 minutes and lost feeling in my fingers while she took 'only a minute'......HA!......to come out. (Another thing we both share is this damn Reynauds Disease), and I sent the majority home with her after we finished wandering the Giant as she did her shopping. She's going to put them in the fridge and freezer and I have a few with me for today and some in the shed where it is plenty cold enough to keep them from spoiling. Last night it again got very cold but except for the back problems and getting cold hand and fingers when trying to read, I was comfortable. I have found that part fo the secret to keeping my feet from getting extremely cold and painful is to walk on the blanket in my socks as little as possible before getting in the bag. The one blanket seems to hold and transfer the cold very quickly right through my socks, whether they are dry or wet, warm or cool to start with.

Times up, gotta run

Later....................Dave

"# 1...# 750 ...& 10,000 +...... = 2011."

Good Evening & Happy New Years!

So....visitor # 10,000 stopped by at 6:13 pm. Dec. 31st, N.Y.Eve............Thanks!

This is the first post of 2011 and # 750 overall, and it's going to be a short one because I'm over Jenn's and about to head out the door and grab the bus up to the shed.

Yesterday afternoon, last night and this morning were more nerve tightening then relaxing, the grandkids were on a roll and plucking my last nerve, even Rachel was getting fed up. They were asleep about 11:00 pm. and I had no interest or intention of gettting them up at Midnight. I missed the countdown myself and did not tune in until 12:01 am., and had the TV tuned back to a Marx brothers movie by 12:10 am. There was just no interest on my part at all, I sent a couple e-mail replies: "Happy New Year......yadda....yadda....yadda.....Auld Lang Syne.....yadda....yadda....yadda....." And that was it. I slept poorly and only about 2 hours from 3:30 am. to 4:30 am., and from 5:30 am. to 6:30 am. and have been up since. Depression, blues, blahs..whatever....no enthusiasm at all.

Anyway, thanks to all who took the time to log-in and read over the past 2 years, and especially to those last 41 folks who kicked it up to 10,000.

See you tomorrow or Monday from the library,

Later..................................Dave

"The Return Of the Lost Libido & The Kiss Of The KENO Gods"........Plus Random Ramblings On The Last Day Of 2010............."

Good Afternoon;

So the post title sounds like a Nancy Drew Mystery double feature does it not.....lol.

Last night at the Starbucks I was talking to someone I see all the time and have taken no notice of (nor she of me) as anything other than "person I know and talk to/female" (and the reverse....lol), and things were as usual. But...the other day she had her hair down and it was the first time it had been that way and the physical change to her face was quite noticeable, as was her demeanor, which was due to some personal issues as I found out later, but the combination was striking and as I engaged her in conversation both our words and our body language subtly shifted. I did not realize until after she had left that, as I said to my self...."dude....yOu were hitting on her!?", (uh...yeah, sometimes when I have these 'internal conversations, one of me is 'dude'.....lol), and it's true, subconsciously I had been reacting to the changes she was projecting, (again, I think, sub- or un-consciously). which is no big deal, except that I have been about as actively romantic/flirtatious as a three toed tree sloth, (& try saying that 10 times fast...lol) recently. Then this morning I awoke from a dream wondering why the sleeping bag seemed to be a bit snug.....then realized that I had it all bunched up in a hug at one part...and the other....welllll, you can figure it out.....lol! I just wish I could remember the details of the dream....not just the 'who'!

P.C.......................Ha, Not Me!!

As I got off the bus last night I stopped in the gas station and had the intuition that I should take a chance and spend 1 of my last 2 dollars on a KENO. A really, really strong feeling. So I told myself I'd try $1.00 and stop if I lost.....well the last 3 numbers out of the 20 that are picked at random from 1 to 80 were my 3 numbers that I always play, 4-5-13, representing Rachel's birthday....."BINGO"!!, (or should I say..."KENO".....lol!), $25.00 in my pocket! I tried one more time with the other $1.00 bill....lost and left.

So this morning I was able to go into the Giant and pay Mike the $10.00 I owed him, (before the end of the year), and get some things for this evening for NYE with the kids, and still have enough for bus money on the 1st and the 2nd of January when I will get my little bit of monthly cash.

I wish to emend my statement of thanks about boots from the other day;

...except for Uggs, the rubber farmers/firemans type, [on anyone older than 12, no matter how colorful or decorated they are....lol], and the stupid pointy toed 'wicked witch of the west' style that extend 6 inches beyond the end of the foot tapering to a point that a mosquito would be jealous of!

Something to think about.....I have been to a LOT of Doctors recently and have noticed a peculiar trend, those of a racial or ethnic mionority seem to be more patient, take more time with me, and actually listen. I am out of time so more musings on this next Year.

A Happy and Safe New Years Eve To All, and Best wishes for 2011!

Later........Dave

P.S. 10 hours and 20 minutes left until 2011 and only about 30 hits needed! to make 10,000!

"Xray Madness.............."

Good Afternoon;

So...I've been to get X-rays taken.....and in typical "Dave's World" fashion it was somewhere between a 'SNAFU' & a 'Clusterf*ck'!

When I got the referral from the 'skull cracker's' office I was given a list of Radiology centers to choose from, I asked whether I needed a referral from my PCP at JAI, or whether I had to go to JAI, and was told "NO", and the woman called to check on it. So this morning I went to American Radiology in Owings Mills because they have my records from the MRI and CT scans a few weeks back thinking it would make things easier because I am already in their computer system.

Well it did....at first. Then I was called to the desk and told they needed a referral form from JAI, (the neurosurgeon wrote it as prescription order as sometimes is the case), and which center did I go to and who is my Doctor. Well I had that information and also the phone and fax numbers for them. Next I get called to the desk and told that I have to go to JAI to get the X-rays taken there, because they do their own. But at least I was able to get a printout of the previous exams and the radiologists report.

Okay.....back on the bus to Pikesville and transfer to the #54 down to Cold Spring & Park Heights, in the 'hood'. This corner is like Arlo Guthrie's 'Alice's Restaurant', where..."you can get anything you want.......excepting Alice", the only difference being, down here even Alice is available for the right price! Anyway I hand in the form and wait for 30 minutes and I'm called into the back to the X-ray and Blood Lab waiting area for 15 minutes then into the X-ray exam room. First standing and having shots of the Cervical spine area taken while relaxed and while under various degrees of 'flexation', or tension. (And I need to have the Neuro(tics)....lol....explain why when I bend my neck as far forward to me chest as I can....there is a pain in my low, low left back region?) Then it was on the table for Lumbar spine shots, again at rest and 'flexed'. The worst was on my left side curled into a fetal position, not only back pain but both the spleen and the gall bladder hurt.

A 5 minute wait for the films to be downloaded to disc, and I asked for a copy of my records for court on Jan.11th and found out that a copy had already been requested and sent to the Court, then back on the bus to Pikesville and another bus to here. All this on a delicious breakfast of Land 'O Lakes butterscotch cocoa and instant coffee made in the Giant with the really hot tap water, and 5 Chocoltae Covered Cherries (in the 'creme filling' not the liquid filling, but still yummy and half price from Xmas).

I'm heading over to Giant to see what 'real' food is on clearance or markdown and then over to the coffee shop in Mt. Washington.

Where last night I shared my table with a young woman named Julia and her Mom and Dad who had come up from Annapolis to look at a used car they may be buying. We had a nice chat and in the course of the conversation we talked about the blog and being homeless and her Dad handed me $5.00 as they were leaving,

(Thank You guys!, It came in handy as I have today and tomorrow morning to get through and this is food money.)

It is like summer time outside, at least 45 degrees and sunny! I had to take off my sweatshirt because when I left the shed it was cold inside, (it holds both heat AND cold), and by the time I had walked into the sunshine, I had 'locked' it up and did not want to go through the rigamarole of unlocking and taking off the vest and relocking....etc. Also I figured it will most likely a rapid temperature drop as the sun goes down, so I may as well keep the coat, etc. with me. The temperature is supposed to be 50 degrees and a possibility of rain on New Years Day, Saturday, which is okay with me, but the 'Winter Classic' Outdoor Hockey Game in Pittsburgh could be a 'wet mess'!...........LOL!

Times up here but before I sign off I want to offer a very grateful and heartfelt THANK YOU!! to the fashionista who decided that this years winter look is 'Boots and Tights'....Thank You, Thank You, Thank You...........(LMAO!!!!)

Later..........Dave

"Dem Bones.................."

Good Morning;

A quick stop to check my e-mail and I'm off to catch the 10:50 am. bus to Owings Mills to American Radiology for my x-ray session.

Then contact the Neurologist about my appointment there.

Thanks Frayda...a whole bunch of Facebook referrals from yesterday afternoon through this morning!

96 hits to go and 2 days left.....

As Bob the Builder says:

(and appropriated by Pres. Obama......)

"Can We Do It....Yes We Can"

(Hmmmm, "Politcal Campaign Theory By Nickeloden Jr.",

THAT explains a lot about American government.....LOL!)

Gotta run,

Later............Dave

"library............Finale.........."

Good Afternoon....Again;

Well Rachel, and her mother and the 8 or 10 Orthodox (Jewish) teenage girls she is involved with in the homeschooling round robin, have just left, (and now the computer tells me I have 5 minutes left).

So....Rachel and I registered her Furreal Friends toy kitty and printed out it's adoption certificate and played on the www.PBSKIDS.com website and picked out 7 books and read some others. I'm on my way out now too, I have to go to the Giant and get breakfast...a little late I know, and then to the Starbucks to eat it.

Later..........Dave

"On Those Days When You Feel...'Missable, Right!,...When You Can't Find Your Little Green Pill That Gets You 'High On Life'..Then Try Some 'Fukitol'."

Good Afternoon:
This is great! A true 'Wonder Drug' or 'Silver Bullet'!

Click on the link below:
http://www.fukitol.com/

The menu bar is real and the Stages and Symptoms and the 'Testimonials' are hilarious! some one went to a lot of work on this site.
The best part is all the ads and links for real products and websites,
but the topper is the link to the Scientology website.....LOL!

Later......................Dave

P.S. The 'Missable...right!' is from an old comedy satire of the same name by either George Carlin, Robin Williams, or Cheech and Chong...(Now you know where I get it from.....LOL!)...that I cannot remember....(CRS exacerbated by a lot of...'you know' use in my youth....LOL)....who did it.

"Library Interlude...............Part 1 = Rachel And Me!................"

Good Morning;

3 days left and 129 hits needed.....tell your friends....."10,000 by 00:01 am. 2011"

So the phone rings around 10 minutes of 9:00 am. this morning and it's Rachel asking me to come to the library around 10:00 am. because her mother is bringing the older girls and Rachel wants to come also. Well of course, I said, 'of course!'...lol...and got up went to the Giant for my coffee and here I am........and......here comes Rachel! I'll be back to finish this after she leaves, unless I get a ride to Owings mills and American Radiology for my X-rays from the 'ex'.

Just want to throw out a "Thank You" to Josh for the breakfast sandwiches the other night,...between, Jenn, Tom ,and myself they did not last long and there is no worries about spoilage beyond the expiration date on this batch!.....LOL!

Later...............Dave

"Glow In The Dark Pin Cushion......................OR.........................Hell Yes It Hurts When You Stick Me There!!!!........................."

Good Afternoon;

Well the 'Skull Cracker', (aka Neurosurgeon.....lol) has sent me to the Neurologists for more testing, nervous system and nerve tests, something called an EMG, I figure I'm either going to be filled full of pins like a VooDoo novices practice dummy, or strung up with electrodes and made to dance like Pinocchio when the juice is turned on.....LOL! I also have to go get some more X-rays, so it's a good thing I'm through with having kids, (planned ones anyway...lol), because with all the assorted radiation and magnetic fields I've been exposed to.... a 3 headed baby would be one of the better mutations......LMAO! These X-rays are supposed to be taken while flexing certain parts of the back, leg, and neck/shoulder I think. I wonder if it a stop motion type of thing or is there such a thing as 'video capture' X-rays? We'll know tomorrow, just look for me over in the corner at the Starbucks in the evening, I'll be the one with the built in reading lights....I'd much rather have a 'post activity' glow from some other type of exertion, but.....oh well, such is life in the slow lane.... ;-(

Anyway, after the walk along the 'Helen Back' trail to and from the doctor's office, (it's called that because it seems like I walked through that damn wind and cold all the way to 'Hell And Back'!), I caught the bus to the coffee shop. I ran into a gentleman named Abe from Russia who I had met last week. He is a professional photographer who has been shooting the work of a Jewish Viennese glassblower and sculptor, Whose name is well known and on the tip of my tongue.....(I'm short on time, I'll Google him later and tell you). He was another who was surprised that I am on the streets from our talk and as he was leaving he asked if he could give me a $20.00, well being X-mas eve and being short I accepted and thanked him, gratefully. Last night he came in and asked if I liked fruit and handed me a bag of oranges and grapefruits...and 1 apple, it must have been lost,,lol...not being able to eat all of them and not wanting them to freeze and go to waste, I shared them on the bus and with some folks at Starbucks.

Last night in the shed I was really comfortable and almost did not get up to go to Jenn's to shower and do laundry. I finally did get up at 10:00 am. and the damn wind made me wish I had stayed in.

I'm leaving her house now and heading over to the coffee shop for a few hours, then back to the shed. It is warming up outside, it's nearly 37 degrees!! tonight should be another good night for sleep....once I get in the bag. No not THAT way, alcohol is bad for you in the cold, as I well remember from the days when I would leave a club sweaty and hot from dancing and with a full load of 'anti-freeze' in my system........yeah, not a good idea.........LOL!

Later..............................Dave

"Ice Sailing....................&........................My Pre-Lobotomy Examination Appointment.............."

Good Morning;

Well the storm by passd us here in Baltimore as far as snow is concerned, but it's cold as as a divorce lawyers heart out there as the wind is a real b*itch. 25 to 30 mph with the occasional gust up to 40mph, it had my bags pushed out to the side and acting as sails. I hit a patch of smooth ice and just stood still and was passing cars as they slowed for the traffic light. It was pretty funny to see the looks on some of the faces as I glided by grinning.......lol.

So I'm just here for a minute at the library checking Google Maps for the location of the Neurosurgeons office...of course it is on the FAR side of the hospital grounds, where I do not see a bus route within the immediate vicinity. I will have to walk from one side of the hospital all the way around the perimeter because of the fences and buildings that block a direct route.....And it is INTO the wind.....of course......damn if I had a pair of those 'wheelie' sneakers I could use my sail bot experience and tack into the wind....oh well, just the floppy soled boots today.....lol!

Rachel and I had a real nice time Saturday afternoon and Sunday at Jenn's, she left about 3:30 pm. and I left to head up to the shed about 7:45 pm. Of course the damn bus never showed so I had to walk to the subway and catch the train to Owings Mills to catch the bus back down to Pikesville to the gas station and the shed....or stand out in the slush and the wind and the cold for an hour........I took the train!....lol!

With two pair of sweatpants, my sweatshirt, a pair of the bootsocks, (that Jenn and family gave me for Xmas), and a second pair of socks on, once I got in the bag and flipped the blanket over me and warmed up I was almost too warm. Getting up to pee was no fun, but I was able to slide back into the warm covers quickly. Getting up this morning was a whole different story! I did not even swap clothes it was so cold, just put on the frozen boots and latched the door and hit the Giant for coffee and hot water to defrost my hands. I'll change in the doctor's restroom if I get the chance....maybe. I'm out of here now to go stand on the bus stop(s!) to get to Sinai Hospital. I may spend $2.00-3.00 on a cab from the last bus stop to the doctors office building if I can find one.

I may be back later, if not, tomorrow morning,

Later......................Dave

P. S. 5 days to go and 169 hits needed to make the 10,000 mark.

P.P.S.......Go RAVENS!!!!, WE ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS!!

"New Math Or Old Math.......Needy families in Baltimore often can't access affordable housing - baltimoresun.com"

Good Morning;

Another mathematical puzzle fo your perusal;

Look at the income numbers vs. the rental costs in the story linked below:
Needy families in Baltimore often can't access affordable housing - baltimoresun.com

As the robot in "Lost In Space" was prone to saying:

"That does not compute!"

Later.............Dave

"Sunday Morning Musings Of A Seriously Messed Up Mind!......................"

Good Morning;

So it's 8:15 am. Sunday morning and I've been up since 5:30 am. after a whole 2 and 1/2 hours sleep. I woke up when Rachel got up to go to the bathroom and never got back to sleep. I emptied the dishwasher and put away the dishes for Jenn and my back and feet hurt so bad I tried to lay down on their bed...(they are not in it.....lol!)...and between the cats and the old mattress and box spring could not get comfortable, but I did see the laptop I thought Tom had taken up to his mother's when they stopped past on their way up to Monkton from Gaithersburg, so I've been cruising the Net and watching the news on the cable and watching the track of this damn snow storm that is due in an hour or two. Anywhere from 3 to 12 inches are forecast depending on how far east the center is out to sea.......Grreeeeaaaaattttt!!!! And the best part is the up to 40 mph winds that will be bearing down on us here in Baltimore on Monday, with the drifting and blowing snow that will accompany it!......NOT!!!!!

But as I keep saying..."Perspective!!!",.....

...............N.Y.C. and Boston are REALLY going to get nailed!

A great headline and a great story, and a what agreat name for a band...

"The Atomic Tumbleweeds"....LOL!...:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704694004576019280235026892.html

check out the link to the Wall Street Journal, it's a funny story that is not meant to be so. Yeah, well so it's not about homelessness....I don't spend ALL my time focused on what is really only a symptom of my current situation.

Okay, Rachel is up and about now and finished watching "Barbie in Mermaidia", where the really 'hot' CGI Fairy Barbies meet with the really 'hot' CGI Mermaid Barbies......(Damn,....either the CGI guys have gotten really, Really, REALLY!! good.....OR.....I really, Really, REALLY have to find some intimate female companionship.......really, Really, REALLY soon!!!...............ROTFLMAO!!!!!!......[maybe]......), and wants bacon for breakfast so it's time to hit the kitchen.

Hope everyone had a good Xmas, and today starts Kwaanza, and of course Hannukah just passed, so I'll just wish a "Happy....Festivus For The Rest Of Us!!!"

Later....................Dave

P.S.

(I don't know when I'll be back, depends on the snow, if any....which reminds me!!

I'm supposed to see the Neurosurgeon tomorrow.....sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!!!

P.P.S.

189 more visits and we will hit 10,000 on the Sitemeter hit counter (at the end of the page if you scroll all the way down the blog)...can we do it by the end of the year?

YES WE CAN......!!!!!

(with apologies to President Obama for borrowing his catchphrase......lol)

"The Polar Express.......Or.......Xmas Train To Nowhere.............."

Good Evening;

A Quick check in and a Merry Christmas Wish for everyone.

Spent 5 hours last night riding the Light Rail just killing time and people watching all the others who had no place to go and no place to be on Xmas Eve.

Anyway, I'm over Jenn's now with my Rachel and just have a minute before the laptop goes on the road to Tom's mother's where they are spending the night.

Later................Dave

Balto. Co. remembers residents who died homeless in 2010 - baltimoresun.com

Good afternoon;

As you travel from warm house to warm stores,

or to vist friends and families in your warm cars....

take a minute and say a prayer for those who could not...

and those who cannot.

(see the link below)

Balto. Co. remembers residents who died homeless in 2010 - baltimoresun.com

It always keeps me humble and grateful to remember,

no matter how bad it gets, I am blessed by having friends, family,

and all of you who read this blog.

At the very worst, at the end of my rope,

if I really, really, really need help, there are people who will respond.

For many different reasons, some of which I can relate to, others we will

never comprehend, some of these folks would not or could not ask for help.

Or worse...they tried and no one listened, nobody heard that silent scream.

God Bless and Good Luck;

Dave

Homeless: Baltimore County works on 10-year plan to end homelessness - baltimoresun.com

Good Afternoon;
Homeless: Baltimore County works on 10-year plan to end homelessness - baltimoresun.com

Dave

" Raus!!!!!...........Maus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.............................& A Grateful Holiday Wish................"

Good Afternoon;

So, I'm here at the library in passing on my way from Owings Mills where I just met with my friend Paul, who is a 'Loyal Reader' from almost the beginning of my blogging who contaced me by e-mail, we messaged back and forth for a time and then finally met. Now we get together for coffee and lunch when time and circumstance allow, (he's a busy guy..his job took hin to St.Louis for a week end once....that lasted for 2 weeks....lol). I met him at the St. Thomas Starbucks where I used to frequent and renewed some acquaintances there with employees and a couple patrons who also read the blog, and we wento Wendy's where he bought me lunch. We ended up spending a couple hours talking and catching up, and as we were getting up to leave, he presented me with a $50.00 gift Mastercard as a Christmas present to get some things for my daughter and grandkids. Wow!!, Thanks Paul! Merry Christmas to you and the family.

I'm on my way next to the Starbucks in Mt. Washington and the Whole Foods where Michel, (hey! I forgot about her, that is Another Michelle in my life....lol!, [even if she does spell it with one L and one E]...) told me to come by before 5:00 pm. today because she has something for me...(and I think it may be her family's famous Sweet Potatoe Pie!.....Yummmm!).

Then it's the close the Starbucks and back to the shed for the night, and it's supposed to be another cold night. Last night was cold but I was warm enough, (as I was the night before which I forgot to mention yesterday), except for having to get out of the bag to chase away the pesky mouse who was getting into my food! For the first time in 2 years of sleeping in this shed I had an intruder that actually got into my food bag! Luckily it was only a 7/8 empty bag of Utz chips and the foil covered plastic of the packaging was crinkling loud enough to wake me. The first half dozen times I did not realize that he was actually in the bag, but thought he was just in the walls or rafters, scrabbling around on the paper side of the insulation. Sit up, turn on the lantern, bang on the walls, ....repeat x 5; then I saw the bag wiggle and jumped up and just missed the little bastard as he took off running through a hole in the wall. I emptied the bag and inspected every thing and found that only the chips bag had been breeched by the perp, though the outer bag of my package of spiral sliced ham showed signs of illegal forced entry, (sorry, slipping into 'cop talk' from the bad old B&E days.....lol!), though he had left a few tiny black 'calling cards'. After I shook out and repacked everything, Thank goodness my Willy Wonka 'Scrumpdiddlyicious' bar was untouched!!!, and used a rubber strap with S hooks on either end and hung it from the center of the ceiling. Of course this was at Midnight and I did not get back to sleep until 8:00 am. and it was too cold to put my hands out of the sleeping bag to hold a book to read. Good thing I have a really vivid imagination and a great fantasy life.....LOL!, that helped pass the time. It was another "I don' wanna get-up it's too cold....." whiny morning and I finally got up at 10:00 am. to hit the Giant, use the facilities to wash and etc., and make a cup of Land O' Lakes French Vanilla Hot Chocolate with a couple of tubes of Nescafe Classico instant coffee tossed in for octane. Yay!! the Ginat's hot water is really HOT again. Enough so that the drink was to too hot and I had to wait for it to cool....of course with a double wall and air gap insulated travel mug that works really, really well...it took a while......LOL!

Anyway, I'm pretty much done here at the library today, and they are closed both Xmas Eve and Xmas Day, & I'll be over Jenn's with Rachel on the 26th, Sunday, with no laptop, and on the 27th I have the Neurosurgeons appointment.....sooo, I may not be back online until Tuesday.

I want to wish everyone, 'Loyal Readers', Followers, Newbies, and those who just googled something and were referred here and are wondering WTF?, the happiest and safest of Holidays. Try to extend the holiday spirit you share with your friends and family to someone who may have no one else say a word to them all day.

Food, Mittens, Money.....or even an acknowledgement of their humanity, NO...of all our 'shared humanity'. A simple greeting of Merry Christmas and eye contact and a smile could be the difference between the strength to struggle on for one more day, or just giving up and letting go.

Between the cold and hopelessness, who knows how many winter deaths are a form of passive suicide?

Merry Christmas....Happy Holidays

Later..........................Dave

"BAH HUMBUG!!!!.....Oh, Who Am I Kidding....It's All An Act!..........LOL!.................."

Good Afternoon...........Again;

Maybe it's the season, maybe it's serendipity, maybe it's synchronicity, but what ever it is ...I like it!

As I was signing off of the computer I got a call from one of the longtime followers and 'loyal readers', Paul inviting me out to lunch and coffee tomorrow. This is kind of cool, 4 folks in 2 days, 2 new acquaintances, but familiar electronically, and 2 older friends, face to face friends, falling into my life.

I guess that's what comes when you are a contradiction such as myself, a gregarious loner, a likable curmudgeon, and an anti-social 'people person'.....LOL!

Just wanted to share that with you ;-)

Later...............Dave

"Sometimes You Win......Sometimes you Don't..........."

Good Afternoon;

Well,....Win some!

I picked up a bag of gifts for Rachel that I am grateful to Prologue for, and that I think she will love. A LiteBrite, a yellow knitted hat with pom-pom, a puzzle, a baton/wand with a spiral ridge running through it that is filled with tiny balls that run from to to bottom every time it is inverted, and make a weird amplified humming-buzzing noise....lol, (yeah her mother is going to love me for that one....lol!), and a 11.5 inch 'fashion doll', (read:Barbie knockoff), who is named Michelle, which is a hoot, because my caseworker; two of my closest friends who I am secretly...(oops not any more!!......LOL!)...in love with, are named Michelle, and it is Rachel's middle name. I may keep it for myself....LOL! Many Thanks to Prologue; to Shelly for these lovely presents, and to Stu for taking the time and effort to track Shelly down and make them available to me today.

Lose some!

I met with the gentleman who is setting me up with a laptop after I left Prologue and he drove us up to the Woodholme Starbucks to show me the computer and the programs he had installed. We sat down, powered it up, and....."Operating System Not Found" shows up on the screen, after many attempts, plugging in the power cord, re-seating the hard drive, etc. and crossing our fingers...nada! He had checked it out at his place after setting it up and it was working okay, so he knew it was functional and operating. Possibly the socket into the hard drive fits is not making a proper connection, maybe there is some other connection that is too loose or sensitive and became separated as the laptop was handled? Well, frustrated we just went outside and sat and talked and he said he would look at the problem back at his bench at home. I am obviously disappointed, but still extremely grateful for the effort and attempt. Thanks Erik!

I'm leaving now for the Starbucks at Mt. Washington to eat for the first time today, I'll be back tomorrow.

Later...........Dave

"Meetings And Moonlight..............."

Good Morning;

Well it was an interesting evening when I got to the coffee shop last night.

As I was sitting down the woman across from me stands up, cries "Dave!!", and hugs me. It was my friend Michelle of MICA whom I had not been able to spend any time with in what seems like forever. We would always meet in passing, each going in a different direction. Next, just as we were getting into the meat of out catching up, a woman comes over and asks if "I am the fellow who blogs". It turns out she is one of the followers and just happened to be in this Starbucks yesterday. Because of some privacy difficulties she is having, she asks not be mentioned by name at this time, but she is also dealing with the on and off problems of intermittent homelessness. (And hearing the bits of her story I did is another example to me that as bad as my situation may seem, there are others with more material things and shelter from the elements...who are a lot worse off, both in a physical and mental sense.) Then, a bit later a colleague of Michelle's from MICA comes in and it was a walk down memory lane of some of the clubs and bars and the bands and band members in Baltimore in the mid '70s to late '80s we were both familiar with and where she had played. She is also the model coordinator at MICA who Michelle has wanted me to meet so possibly I could pick up some cash modeling for the students in the life drawing classes......and yes it could be 'nekkid'. (I don't know who might be more frightened....me or the poor kids who would have to sketch me.....LOL!!!) Michelle and I talked 'til close then I walked through Whole Foods with her and she gave me a lift back to the shed, with a promise to make time for us to get together over the holiday break and maybe get Rachel and Remy, her 5 year old, together also.

I am now on my way to Prologue to see about some gifts for Rachel that are there somewhere, hopefully not in my caseworkers car. Then I am supposed to meet withe the gentleman who has a notebook PC for me. I will be back online later today with details.

Last night sleeping was actually enjoyable, and Monday night was also fairly comfortable. In fact I did not get up and out until after 12:15 pm. yesterday! (I had gotten up to watch the total lunar eclipse though, going out into the cold at various times between 1:30 am. and 4:30 am. to see various phases, so I have a legitimate excuse...lol! Full moon, winter solstice, and total eclipse....on the first day of winter; good omen....or bad???? hmmmmmm?

Ok, gotta run,.........Later,........................Dave

"Not Quite "Green Eggs & Ham"........But, Give Me Time!.............."

Good Afternoon;

So....first time online in 2 and 1/2 days. I spent Saturday night, Sunday, Sunday night, & Monday at Jenn's not even going outside except to take a load out to the dumpster once and feed 'Porch Cat', (and this IS his name as well as a description....lol), twice. I 'monster-sat' Sunday and Sunday night for Jenn and Tom, did my laundry finally on Monday, and had a chance for a couple of showers and hot meals. (I made bright green, (the first food coloring I grabbed), french toast on Sunday morning for everyone, 'just because'....lol! The kids loved it once I had told them it was only color and not taste that was different....lol. I did a Oven-Fry/Shake & Bake version of Chicken Fried Steak on Saturday night with cube steaks that turned out well and was reminiscent of something my mother made when I was a kid, "cheese steak rollups", (without the cheese....lol).

I slept like crap, but it was partly my own fault because I got sucked into a "Robot Chicken" Star Wars marathon until some ungodly hour of the morning on Sunday night....but it was friggin' hilarious!!!! I LMAO!! Being Sunday, and then Monday with no school, the kids were allowed...Hell!!, ENCOURAGED!!! to sleep as late as possible both days, then given dry cereal to snack on and cups of milk and left in their beds to watch a DVD for as long as possible....as I went back to napping. (Jenn and Tom got to sleep in....I EARN my keep....LOL!) But by Monday afternoon it was time to leave, the tension factor was approaching the blow out valve explosion point. I headed over to the coffee shop and realized that the bus drivers were on their 2 week 'holiday pick' switching of runs, so new/different drivers were on most routes, most with bad attitudes because they had not the seniority to take the 'choice' runs...it was another fun-filled evening of taking notes of driver's badge numbers and bus numbers to be sent to the MTA with times and dates of serious infractions....and they are talking about another rate increase!?

I got an e-mail from Erik at Pikesville PC telling me he had a Notebook PC just about ready for me and asking about software preferences. I replied with my thanks and some info on my movements tonight and tomorrow so we can try to get together at some point, with any luck. I also got an e-mail from my case-worker at Prologue telling me she had gifts for Rachel and asking when I could come by and get them. I am hoping we can get together tomorrow as I have some questions about whether she was able to send off the 'show cause' letter asking for an extension of the refiling date of my S.S.I. claim. I have a Neurosurgeons appointment on Monday the 27th that I want to have the documentation from added to the other files, plus all the MRI and CT test data.

Time's up on the computer now, and a good thing because my eyes are troubling me and my fingers are not working correctly, between the retyping and the spellchecking this is one long post, time-wise.....lol.

Later.............Dave

"The Princess & The Pea.......2010 Updated Street Sleeping Version................"

Good Afternoon;

So last night was a balmy 26 degrees, and making sure my feet were dry and that both my feet and my core were warm before I climbed into the sleeping bag meant that I was toasty warm and mostly comfortable all night long. (there was a stubborn crease/wrinkle in the piece of closed cell foam mat that goes from shoulder to just past the hip that aligned with a double-thick seam in the bottom layer of the sleeping bag, that was exacerbated by a fold in one of my cardboard 'box springs' that slipped down a bit during the night. I'd wiggle and shuffle around and get comfy and fall asleep, but since I'm about as motionless as an epileptic having a fit when I sleep, I kept finding the wrinkle/crease/seam/fold under me at a sensitive point about once an hour.

I was up and out by 9:00 am this morning and on my way to Monkee's for meds from now until the 2nd, when I get my little bit of cash. The rest of the month is going to be a bitch moneywise, I'm totally flat. It's gonna be instant coffee and tap water, unless I get treated by someone.....lol! I've got about $70.00 in Foodstamps, and about 75 minutes on the phone still, and my bus pass is good until the 31st, so I'll survive, but it's going to be a drag over the holidays when the library is closed and the Starbucks is open reduced hours. If you can't buy a drink or a cup of coffee, most places won't let you just sit and kill time. (And I'll ride the trains for 10 hours before I hit the shelter trail here in Baltimore!) Prologue is supposed to have a gift(s?) for Rachel for the holidays, so that will be nice. I have to find out about that on Monday. I don't know if Rachel and I are still petsitting over the Xmas and New Years holidays in light of Jenn's and Tom's situation now. I'm heading over Jenn's to babysit tonight and tomorrow morning while they do some shopping for the kids and then go to 'Catholic Class'...their church is one of those Anglican Episcopal churches that seceded from their Diocese and adjoined to the Catholic church, while still keeping their married priests and some other particulars. So I'll be showering and doing laundry there, just in time too.....lol!

Okay, I'm gonna go read for 2 hours and kill time until I can go to Jenn's.

See you tomorrow, maybe, if not...Monday,

Later.....................Dave

Bah Humbug......&....Wet Thug"

Good Afternoon;

Well after a miserable night of struggling to get warm enough so I could get cold again, I had a run-in this morning on the parking lot with a 'thug wannabe', (he's driving a beat up 'econo-box'; raised up, with 20 inch rims and low profile tires, those bluish-white headlight bulbs on 24/7, and a high volume low fidelity bass enhanced sound system that is connected to an outside the passenger compartment speaker under the hood cranked up all the way to 'vibrate' that only serves to point out how rusted out the body is and fill the air with a distorted buzz.....it is as funny as it is pitiful......LOL), who was speeding to work at the Giant through the ice and slush filled parking lot, spraying water, salt and slush all over. I was able to miss MOST of it....but what did hit me did not help my mood. I turned back and caught him as he was getting out of the car while on his cell phone, and I forgot to mention that he was jabbering away driving with one hand and no Bluetooth, and scared the piss out of him as I stepped forward so that he was standing between the door and the body of the car unable to get in or out and gave him a piece of my mind, (and I don't have many left to spare....lol!), concerning his driving, his manners and his level of intelligence. I then turned and walked away laughing my head off, as he stepped out of his car about to say something to me and slipped and plopped right on his ass in a puddle of slush.......LMFAO! My mood is still pretty poor, but I had a good laugh, so it balances out a bit.

It really was nasty cold last night ...again... and my feet were damp as well as cold, the boots are not 'slush proof', so everything was exacerbated. I just could not get the whole bag warmed up with body temperature as is usual, there were cold spots and I kept shifting all night long. It is supposed to warm up tonight...all the way to 22 degrees...whoopee...and I have my sleeping wear with me so I can put it on at the Giant or the gas station, over my jeans if need be, while still warm. I am not needed at Jenn's tonight, but she asked me to spend tomorrow, (Saturday) afternoon and night to watch the kids. I'll be able to shower and do laundry too. Of course with my luck and Baltimore's crazy weather... it's gonna be 80 degrees that night.........lol!

That's about it for today, I really don't feel like writing, and I want to get out of the library before dark today. I'm tired of drinking lukewarm coffee because the Giant is having hot water problems, and I can't afford a cup of coffee due to a total lack of funds, so I'm heading over to the coffee shop where I can sit out of the weather and get some boiling hot water for the Starbucks VIA instant packet I have and they don't mind me sitting there.

Se you Tomorrow,

Later.....................Dave