Good morning;
I neglected to mention in the last post, Monday, that after the 'incident' Sunday evening I started shaking and got violently ill as I got off the Light Rail and walked over to the Metro. It was a delayed stress reaction and a case of adrenal overload that gave me serious cramps and must have sent my blood pressure to the moon, (a woman at the Metro stopped commented on my bright red color and at first though it was sunburn, until she watched it fade....LOL). I tried to make light of the issue and relate it in a humorous sense, but the driving force was fear, and the inbred 'fight or flight' instinct. I don't like physical confrontation, and the fear of being hurt tends to take over and compensate for a lack of fighting skill and stamina...one thing I remember learning from my father, 'when the sh*t is about to hit the fan, and negotiation is not an option..shove the other guys face in the fan and disappear in the confusion'.
Maybe it's not Marquis of Queensbury rules, but it's my ass about to get kicked..not his...LOL.
Yesterday, I just could not wake up, and my back was acting up really bad, (today too), and I had no energy. So that's why thee was no post.
I got an e-mail Monday from 'Iokaepa and Inette, my friends who travel the country, with their 'Return Voyage' message and gatherings. http://www.returnvoyage.com/ .., telling me they are back in Baltimore for a few days and where could we meet. I sent back that I had transferred my morning rituals to the St Thomas Starbucks, and they met me there, and by coincidence, fate, or karma, they are staying just around the corner, (more or less). We had a nice visit and I called Rachel and her mom to come up to see them also, so I had an afternoon with Rachel, more ice cream...LOL....(Mint Chocolate Chip and Cotton Candy, is she 5 or what...Yucchh!.....LOL). And we went to the pet supply store and bought a pair of $0.99 toys for her new kitties; fake, but realistic looking mice, I'm not sure if the cats will get a chance to play with them or not....LOL. After everyone left, I had planned to go down to the library, but I kept dozing off, and snapping back awake. I went outside to wake up and take a small walk, and then went to the bus stop. I was talking to a man there, juts passing the time of day, and when his friends happened to drive by, they offered me a ride too, we ended up sitting outside the metro station until dark talking because we found out we had a bucnh of acquaintances in common in Florida, in the resort bar/restaurant business..or who used to be, there is so much turnover and relocation, I still have mail chasing me years later with a dozen old addresses scratched out. It was nice to reminisce
Sometimes wishes do come true............thanks.....BIG GUY!
I really wanted to sleep in a bed last night and to shower and I was trying to thimk if I could arrange it somehow, when I saw an envelope in the trash with what looked like coupons and free passes or tickets in it. I picked it up and found that almost all of them were expired and the ones that were not, were from out of the area...EXCEPT...for one $50.00 discount from Howard Johnson's, now there are only about 5 Howard Johnson's left in Maryland, and the motel that I stay in in Pikesville, just happens to be one, so I had a night inside for $12.00, shower, cable TV, and A/C...and a Real Bed...of course I slept lousy because of my back..(I think it's time for another MRI/CT/XRAY to see how far the discs have rotted away in the past few tears since the last detailed exam......back to the waiting room, for 4-5 hours just to get a referral.).....still it was a needed break, and I understand that there were some serious thunderstorms last night...when I did sleep...it was sure solid....LOL.
I've got to go to the east side tonight, to Monkee's, and pick up another week's supply of meds, that is one stressor lifted, having a regular supply until at least I can get to the doctor who is authorized in my health care plan to prescribe it, she is supposed to be back on the 10th of June.
I also have to start walking more to help my blood pressure meds..which reminds me, I've got to walk over to the Giant and put in my refill for them.
I've got enough money to eat and for coffee, and for a monthly bus pass, and I just don't want to stand out on the corner this evening, between my back and the humidity, I just feel like crap, and it's deepening the depression I'm semi-successfully fighting. The waiting for answers from the Medical Assistance folks is getiing to me, I know my liver is not right when I am feeling discomfort almost bordering on pain on a constant basis...think bout it HOW often are you ever really AWARE of your liver and it's functions? I am not looking forward to Interferon treatments, they are supposed to be a bitch, but either tell me I'm going to get them......or not, so I can say the hell with it and enjoy abusing it while it lasts......LOL.
Alright, I've got to answer some e-mails, I may be back later, but before I go, 2 things that are bothering me. Maybe I am too sensitive about it, but I got an e-mail, addressed to 'homeless dave', asking, 'how do we know you are homeless?', .....ever get a 'vibe' from an electronic message, silly as it may sound, that rubs you the wrong way? Homeless is a situation I am in, not who I am, Yeah, I have made some bad choices and decisions that combined with some circumstances that I had no control over that put me here. And I admit that some of my current choices and decisions may not be rational, in some peoples eyes (and I admit sometimes to me....BUT....???), in regards to having a roof over my head vs. the company I would be living with....but sometimes beggars can be choosers. You can be sure that if I can pull my head out of my ass, the first crack I get at somewhere that I feel comfortable living, I'm going to take it. I'm not scamming anybody, or getting any money out of this blog, it's free to read and free to write. And in the few case where someone has sent me a gift, I have gratefully and promptly acknowledged the fact, with as much awe as appreciation. Like i said, maybe I am being too sensitive, but I felt that I was being obliquely accused of running a con or some such thing. If you know someone who knows me..ask them, I have lots of faults, and I have a few beneficial attributes..........a HOME is not one of them.
And I'm getting sick and tired of hearing people say...'You're too clean to be homeless', I heard one guy say..'he's cleaner than me', I asked him if he had just gottne off work, or had just finished a work out, and he said no.....so I said.."I'm cleaner than you, and I'm homeless, you have the opportunity and resources, and I wash up and shave in bathrooms at various businesses...........hmmmm, what's wrong with this picture?....Can you spell DIRTBALL boys and girls??"..The woman in the car with him burst out laughing, and he pulled off cussing a blue streak as the light changed.....HOMELESS DOES NOT HAVE TO MEAN DERELICT>>>I may be a F*CKUP, but I am a hygienic F*CKUP!!!!
See you later....Dave
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