"Red Hot, White Knuckled, And Blue........"

Good Morning;

The weather, heat and humidity, is on the way to hell again I see. By 8:30 am. the shed was a sweatbox. I got up went to the Giant for my morning ablutions and to make a couple calls from the Courtesy Phone. One to Jenn to see if it was still okay if I dropped by and showered while She and the kids went out to Getttysburg with her mom and Tom was at his DJ gig this afternoon, and to ask if I could borrow a few dollars; and one to Monkee to see if she had located any buprenorphine. Jenn said yes and she was not yet sure, Monkee said no. We are both out of meds and having to look to the street now for 'bupe'.

Along with the miserable conditions of the steambath that is Baltimore, I now have the added stressor of searching for my meds. I took the last 1/4 pill last night around Midnight and I will not feel any true physical symptoms of discomfort until around Sunday morning, but the psychological meshugas has already begun. The not knowing, the not having a phone to hunt for them and having to hit the street in a really bad neighborhood, and the fear of relapse all combine to put me in near panic mode. Add to that the fact that I have only $2.00 in my possession and I am going to have to pay street prices and the fee for a runner, and have no idea if or where I am going to come up with any cash,.......and I'm a friggin' mess. (A note of irony here, the doctor I am scheduled to see on the 13th of July, who happens to be right in the neighborhood, is one who is authorized to prescribe 'bupe', but who told me he did not want to deal with the state PAC healthcare plan when I went to him to inquire about 3 years ago....).

This next week should be a real fun time, scrounging for meds, food, and money. (oh and another ironic thing...the meds I DO have a prescription for and a healthplan to pay for will run out with no refills BEFORE I jhave my next scheduled appointment with the doctor at JAI who prescribed them, at the same time she wrote the script....greatttttt!

The only bright light shining through this cloud of doom and despair that is descending upon me is that the up coming 4th of July is the only holiday that occurs in the beginning of the month, right after I get my little monthly stipend. Not that I have any plans, or that I will have much money left after meds...phone...and repaying of any loans I can get.....lol.

Okay I am out of here for Jenn's now,

later............................Dave

(Jenn just e-mailed me, she will have some cash this evening when she gets home, well half the battle is won, now the other half...the search remains. At least my stress level has been reduced by about 40%!)