"So That's Why They Call It A...................'Love Seat'................"

Good Afternoon;

Well it has cooled off a bit but the humidity is at a point where you can grasp a handful of air and squeeze a cup of water out of it. I took a shower at Jenn's before I left this afternoon and even with the A/C going full blast it took an hour to feel totally dry.

As I have mentioned before, when I stay at Jenn's I usually end up cooking for all of us, (or nuking stuff for the rugrats...lol), well I oven broiled some rib eye steaks she had bought, (still on sale at Giant through Thursday @ $4.99 lb., better than half off!!, grab them while you can), with my semi-scratch version of Season-All and got rave reviews from Tom who said they were the best yet.

This morning I got the chance to kick back while Jenn went all out with breakfast. Challah french toast with blackberries, strawberry jam and syrup and butter, 2 kinds of sausage, and scrambled egg whites, (not that anyone was watching cholesterol, other than seeing our arteries harden....lol, it was left over from the french toast mixture). Delicious!!

The last time I had someone cook for me was at the Passover seder at Lisa's parents house 3 months ago. It was a pleasure to be able to just sit and eat, (though I did empty and load the dishwasher and scrub all the pots and pans for her. She hates to do the dishes and I really don't mind. It is even relaxing to a certain extent.

I did not sleep very good last night, even to the point of spending part of the night on my stomach, which I never do, (in fact Jenn says to me that she hoped I, "at least bought the couch dinner," from the position I was in when she went past to put Devin back in her crib.......LOL!!) One of the reasons I slept badly was Edward crapping in the pajamas and all the resulting hoopla, and just when things had settled down and gotten silent, Devin decides to wake up crying for some unknown reason. Then at some time around 7:00 am. I vaguely remember hearing Jenn putting Devin back in her crib and the DVD of "Pooh's Heffalump Movie" playing in the background, and then coming awake to the same 10 or 12 bars of the movie's theme song being repeated over and over and over when the movie was ended and sitting on the 'menu page'. At some point I got up, restarted the movie, peed..(in the bathroom!!), fed the cats, heated a cup of coffee, let the dog out, fed her and locked her back in her crate, took my three morning meds, then sat on the couch and wedged myself in at an angle that relieved the back pain and dozed off again, all on 'auto-pilot' or 'zombie-drive', as I have no conscious memory of these actions, only anecdotal evidence and hearsay....lol!

I left Jenn's and caught the 2:06 pm bus..and ....here I am!

Tomorrow, (Thursday), I have a 9:00 am. appointment to see the contract shrink for the State of Maryland who does the mental health evaluation phase for the S.S.I. application. The anxiety is building and intensifying, but I am at or near the high point of my depression cycle, (of course, why make it easy!!), so I do not know what to expect of this visit. Why could it not be 2 weeks ago when I was going full goose gonzo and wanted nothing more than to swallow a "Smith and Wesson Souffle"?

Liz is picking me up on the corner near the shed, where I'll be sleeping...maybe... tonight. I do not know whether he will consult with her or not, I hope so because she got the full benefit of one of the paranoid/schizo/panic attacks that plague me. Well I'll see what's what tomorrow I guess.

Next after this is the physical exam in mid July. I have an appointment around the 4th of July to see my doctor at Jai, (if I have not switched yet), and get my refills on prescriptions. I know most of the details and results of the medical issues I deal with, it's the mental ones that frustrate me. I guess it's all part of the 'Catch 22'....'You can't be going nuts if you think you are going nuts'.

Okay I'm out of here for now I think, I may be back tomorrow after the psychiatrist, depending on the weather. I am again monstersitting the grand kids tomorrow evening so I may head over to Jenn's right after the meeting since she is just on the otherside of Reisterstown Road Plaza from the doctor's office, so I may not be back until Friday. (I'm not real comfortable using their Laptop for much else than checking my e-mail).

Later...........Dave