Hi There;
If anyone is unaware of the fact it is cold as a polar bear's backside out there today, and last night was worse...and believe it or not TONIGHT is supposed to be colder still! Oh Sh*t is about the mildest comment I can make right now. I HATE the cold!!!!!!!!! and for those who ask 'why stay?',.....the only reason I am still in Baltimore and not in a beach town somewhere south of the 28th parallel is that I cannot yet leave/take my daughter!!!!!!! I am actually considering a shelter for tonight (as a LAST resort) if I cannot find a way to "insert" myself into a "target of opportunity"!! I'll be back at the library after 8:00pm tonight (Monday), for an hour until close, if I do not "realize my objective" before then. (Can you tell I have been reading a book with a military {and also corporate} subplot to it?...LOL)...By the way this is an unsubtle and overt attempt to cause an invitation to appear by ''Spontaneous Materialization''...(it is a science fiction book too). I'd like to be able to take a shower, but..beggars can't be choosers......'Alms for the poor kind and generous madam or sir, may you name be inscribed in the Book of Life, noting your graciousness, wisdom, and charitable nature...just the merest, meanest corner, where this unworthy person could lay his head out of the cold , cruel wind and deathly bitter weather, all the while singing your praises to the almighty and the world, proclaiming your resemblance to the saints through your actions on behalf of this humble and grateful being.......'????
On another note, I saw Mike again last night as I was getting off the bus (where I had just killed 3 hours staying warm) to go into the gas station to use the restroom, and to wash up and brush my teeth before slipping into my latest "mostly sheltered, but very cold" hideyhole. I had a bag of food and I gave it to him and another homeless guy, {call him "Rainman", no futher explanation or description should be needed!!} and they followed me across the street and into the gas station/ mini mart. I was telling Mike about my good fortune the night before, not knowing Rainman was standing behind a display rack eavesdropping, and I gave Mike some cash, because he was needful of it. Well, a minute later Rainman walks up and at full volume starts broadcasting my financial situation to a bunch of strangers in a gas station at 1:00 oclock in the morning...not a wise, prudent or safe thing to do!!! After I blasted him and waited until he left and was not watching from the shadows anywhere, (there is no "code of honor" among the homeless, the person you help today could very well cut your throat for the price of a loose cigarette tomorrow..[actual incident, 2007]....unless you know a person, ie. Mike, and trust them to an extent.."don't ask--don't tell" is the order of the day. Just a footnote here, as I was heading over to use the restroom, I looked up and saw the last KENO game of the night was about to be played, so just for sh*ts and giggles I threw a buck on my age, 53, and Rachel's, 4. As I left the restroom and said goodbye, beginning to exit the store, the clerk asks me if I want my money, turns out I won $10.00,..LOL, so I recouped the money I gave Mike, the buck I spent on the ticket, and had money to buy something to eat to replace the bag of food that Rainman grabbed from Mike. Small thing??...Maybe...I prefer to take it as cosmic approval of an application of the concepts of Paying It Forward and/or Passing It On.
I spent another couple of hours this morning working with C. on her appeal to the Maryland 'Court Of Special Appeals', it really can be emotionally and intellectually draining to help someone if, like me, one allows oneself to become involved or cannot remain detached or aloof, trying to help a friend can be both rewarding and spiritually exhausting, but I'd rather be an emotional bankrupt, than go through life as an emotional cripple.
Okay, personal trivia.....Hi to Richard, welcome..................and Hey Saleesha...........(??spelling??), I have not seen you in the coffee shop for a while...everything all-right?.......Angela..still checking in occasionally?, are you well??.........Neil..I heard you were asking about me....thanks,.....and I want to extend special and public greetings and acknowledgements to my e-mail buddies extrordinaire...Anne, and Mary, your kind words and thoughts and prayers AND!!.the exchange of ideas we share really do make a difference in my life and attitude and ability to cope and survive, rather than just 'exist', the people I "see" on a day to day basis, have mentioned a measurable, if not precisely describable, "change" since our correspondence started (FYI I "met" you both at approximately the same time from the Craigs List posts last year),..I thank you, and to all who read my words and keep returning..I am grateful...{there's that word again!!!!} that you are part of my continuing sobriety and ( this may be debated...LOL) sanity...........pardon the slide into the quagmire of my emotional swamp......but just in case I get my karmic pink slip without warning....
with a sense of affection and love..[agape]...I thank you......Dave
Don't ask me where that stuff came from........?????
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