Good Morning;
It's drizzly, and coldish, and gray, and I'm listening to Tom Waits.(Small Change).
I'm in a slightly melancholy mood, (but in a good way...LOL, I've got the 'Golden BB' locked back away.), and his music expresses all the hurts and loneliness and lost dreams of the disenfranchised and disenchanted in a way that is both creative and empathic, with a touch of irony and satire, and a sly humor. All while melding folk in the Dylanesque style with rock, blues and jazz,-cool, hot and bebop. I dig him...does it show...LOL.
So we went to the Circus last night, and it was a blast, Rachel was thrilled and only a wee bit bored at the more adult segments, (she also did not get to have a nap that afternoon), and was, as always, a joy and a pleasure to take out. I know everyone's own kid is always the best, but having also a 28 year old daughter, a 4 year old grandson, 4 stepkids, from 10 to 16 yrs. old, and having helped to raise a half dozen other kids over the years, I can objectively state, this is one amazing little girl/young lady!!
As we were on the Light Rail heading intown, we saw the homeless guy who lives in the small patch of scrub trees between the tracks and the hill where the old Union Station (now part of MICA) is, [on your left side if you are facing forward on the train]. This poor soul is one of those whose mental illness and/or addictions keeps them on the streets. He sleeps/lives under/in a pile of cardboard boxes and blankets about 2 feet high, open to the weather, so that the whole mess is in a constant state of deterioration..(kind of like my vertebrae and disks...but that's a future post...LOL), occasionally it is cleaned up and discarded by the city trash crews, but he just starts accumulating more, and the layers begin again. Well Rachel saw this and I proceeded to explain how he had mental issues, (in age appropriate language for a 5 year old), and she comes out with, in the most matter of fact fashion, "Why doesn't he get a tent" and tells me all the advantages a tent would have, and I told her how someone would probably take it away or steal it or just destroy it. She told me how wrong that was, and asked if we could bring him a blanket one day. This child is the most compassionate and generous little person who I have ever met....what a wonderful creature she is, how blessed I am!..more soon...Dave
BACK
I then had to explain some of the 'economic realities' of homelessness and touch on some of the mental issues of folks on the street, while letting know that I was in a safe (relatively, as you know, but I did not elaborate, obviously), place at night, and she pops out.."Starbucks!", well I had to grin and tell her no, that's where I am in the daytime, mostly, and she adds.."or the library!"; (with proud smile and puffed out chest...he says..) "this kid is so smart, and what a grasp of concepts and relationships!!!"....
When the sh*t gets deep and the pressure is beyond anything you can imagine, SHE is the thing that makes me take that next breath, no matter how much I don't want to. ?Comprende?
Okay..Did anyone see one of the lead stories in today's New York Times, and the related sidebar piece? It was about the 'tent cities' in Fresno and Sacramento California, that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is planning to move. So many journalists, politicians, and so called 'do-gooders' have been to see and more importantly to them 'be seen', that many of the homeless have already left to find other places because of the "sightseers". As one of them said,"We just want to be left the hell alone!". The articles illustrated the plight of those who have found a way to cope in a relatively civilized manner and the resulting dual complications of celebrity and notoriety. There are the predators and the NIMBYites. There are the 'reformers' who want to move, 'sanitize' and control everyone. The article also illustrated the vast array of people who are living in these 'Hoovervilles', from so many more walks of life than you may think. There are some photos of some of the creative and comparatively clean and comfortable, "SHACKS" folks have constructed. And some of the solutions that realistic and practical groups and organizations have come up with, sanctioned by the gov't, or not.
Independence, poverty, dignity, necessity, cleanliness; Hey I have been saying for a long time, these concepts, words, ideals, ways of living, are NOT! mutually exclusive. One of the things I have been trying to say is NOT every homeless guy asking for money is going to spend it on drugs or alcohol, in some cases, we fall through the social services cracks because we are that little bit too sane, or not crazy (that's a medical shorthand) enough. In some cases the bureaucratic bullsh*t involved in applying (hmmmm...2 to 3 automatic denials built into the system, think it is planned that way to make people discouraged and quit the process,[notwithstanding the times paperwork gets "lost" and has to be resubmitted, with the attendant additional time lag incurred] thereby relieving the gov't of having to payout???? NAH.... not OUR Social Security system....those 270,000...no that is not a mistype...backlogged cases are just a coincidence....) is not worth the eventual {if Any}(been there! DOING that!) payoff. In some cases the hoops one is required to jump through, (in many cases having nothing at all, in any way to do with the circumstances of the situation...anecdote: one woman--56 years old, single, never married, no intention to adopt, AND PHYSICALLY AND MEDICALLY UNABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN, was FORCED to take 26 weeks of pre-natal and motherhood classes) after being approved. And get this, on occasion there are charges deducted. Now let me be clear here I am not talking about vocational training or job preparedness seminars or life-on-your-own type classes where applicable, but let's be real about it. People with no history at all of ANY drug or alcohol issues, (or even Family members with histories), being assigned to rehab classes, often at locations and times that conflict with other mandatory sessions, and miss one and say 'bye-bye' to any assistance you were going to receive. Now some of these things I have heard and to be honest, 'overheard', I take with a grain of salt, and consider the source; but even discounting 50% of them, I've listened to too many peoples horror stories at D.S.S. offices and on the bus and train to not believe that there is a 'motherlode' of truth running through the aggregate stories.
Maybe you can get a feeling for why some of us without homes and who choose not to 'partake' of the bounteous accommodations of shelters, soup kitchens and missions, do so choose. The same for why some have given up on pursuing claims, or (on this subject I have personal experience) are physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted from filling out the same forms over and over and over again, and answering the same questions, and hitting the same brickwalls face first, and needing.."just ONE more piece of documentation, because we 1- forgot to ask; 2- can't find a record of receiving it, a) you never gave it to us....and when a receipt of acceptance is produced..b) some other dept. must have misplaced it..NEVER..'I'm sorry we lost it'.; 3- it has expired;" until one says "F*CKIT!!" and in some cases returns to a life of doing what is neccessary to get by, Or, for others self-medicating to avoid pain, sometimes for the first time, sometimes as an old friend..(notice that did not say a GOOD friend!) {* see below}. In some cases crime is the response.({*} again been there, done that, had the free vacation, got the tee shirt....don't wanna repeat the adventure, thank you very much.....[just came to me..one of the reasons I have been leery to go out and hit the corner with my sign is that I do not want to become embroiled in a confrontation with the "nasty foreign lady cop", I am not doing 2 things again in this life...One is going through withdrawal!!!, the Other is going back to Central Booking, just 'ain't a gonna happen!' (If either situation ever becomes unavoidable...there is always the 'Golden BB'....Don't send flowers, make a donation to a reputable charity with a low overhead, or give it direct to a homeless person you have befriended and consider responsible, in my name...and I want my organs donated for transplant, and those that are too far gone, well burial at sea, by way of being chum works...have a deep sea fishing trip wake for me..I'll supply the bait!). It's 3:30 already, and I came in here 4 hours ago for 20 minutes........sheesh...I'll see ya if I get back on tonight, if not...tomorrow............Dave
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