Wednesday, April 8, 2009

"I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues....."

Good evening;
Yeah, I'm back again............wordy bast*rd..ain't I??..
So I'm here at the library and it's almost empty, and will remain this way through Saturday night, may pick up again, a bit on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, but then it will be dead again 'til next Sunday. I just contracted a case of the 'blues', part of it is a 'letdown' effect from being hyped up and flowing with nervous energy about meeting with Jill Rosen, part is because it is Passover, the first Seder, and while I am not religious by any means, there are certain rituals and holidays and traditions I do enjoy. I met my Rachel here at the library this afternoon, just before I posted today's earlier message, and that is wearing off also, and I am not at a Seder with her. I want to be! The only real opportunities I had were at very or ultra orthodox households, and that just 'ain't a gonna happen!' as I am fond of saying. The only possible places where I would have felt a part of the 'family', happened to be logistically impossible.... que sera sera.....
This dis-connect is a common feeling out there on the street, many of us are estranged from family or friends, or simply have no one at all, (and yes sometimes it is our fault or our choice), but that does not lessen the loss or the pain. Well meaning people put together large community 'Feed The Homeless For Easter...(or Passover, though that is more a true 'open door' type of individual family or truly 'communal' dinner)..[or Christmas or Thanksgiving..etc.] at church or community centers, or gov't facilities. I've been to a few...never again...(or should I say "Nevermore"..this being E.A.Poe's final home)...for me, at least, it was as intimate as a feed lot at the stockyards, and about as aromatic, talk about depressing..."oh you poor folks, homeless on the holidays..here eat..{just don't be here on Sunday when I come to worship,,,and stay out of my neighborhood the rest of the year}".......ok I've maybe over played it a bit..but only bit.......holidays can kill................outta time....Dave

No comments: