"Nowhere To Go....And....All Day To Get There....................."

Good Afternoon;

So one bunch of delinquents got tossed out, for a change!

As you can probably tell, I'm bored and at loose ends, without the money to go do anything, or go sit anywhere and nurse a drink or a coffee. And I just don't want to go to the Starbucks today...though I may if no one calls me with a better offer.

Just to let you know this is one of the real soul killers of homelessness, not being able just to sit in your own space somewhere and read a book or watch TV, or even just take a nap or sit and think.....alone. Which is the other part of the paradox of always being alone, even in the midst of a crowd of people, when you want to be alone, it is hard as hell to find a decent, comfortable, safe spot.

The "shed" is a place where I sleep, that is (mostly) out of the reach of the weather. Even if it WAS fixed up, there is no room for a cot, much less a chair.

It is basically a long skinny cell.

I have had enough of cells for my lifetime.

No one is on FaceBook, and I've sent and answered and read all my e-mails, and I have nothing interesting left to say.

See ya................Dave

"Medical Malfunction.................or..................Dysfunction...................."

Good Afternoon;

Welcome Follower #21 "Grubbfreeland"...(I just gotta know the story behind that handle...LOL).

That's the cheerful part of the post...NOW....."Let the bitching Begin"!

So..I went to JAI Medical on Park Heights Ave. at Cold Spring Lane.

(For those of you not from Baltimore, suffice it to say, the cops go in pairs and gunshots are more frequent than birdsong, 'back in the day', I'd get my pre-dawn fix there. Crime and stupidity are neck and neck with poverty, and assholes who brag about living in that 'hood. A fun place, like DisneyLand on a bad acid trip, where Goofy's on dope, Donald's on crack, Minnie's turning tricks, and Mickey is the kingpin pimp and drug lord. Oh yeah and Pluto is one of Michael Vick's 'puppies'.....and you don't want to know what Chip 'n Dale are into............LOL.)

Anyway...I get there when I was told to.."we really don't make appointments, but come in at 1:00 pm. and I'll fit you in"..today at 12:45 pm. and sign in and sit down. An hour and a half later of watching the fat-ass quote 'security guard' unquote talk on her cell phone and ignore the obvious junkies and dealers coming in and taking a break, not causing trouble, but tying up the chairs for waiting patients, and listening to the 'baby mama drama' of Jerry, or Maury, or Steve, or another of their ilk at full volume, and the shouts of, "dat baby ain't got his nose..(eyes, ears, lips....etc.)..it's a lie, they faked the DNA"..and other similarly intelligent commentary, the genius at the sign in window...Oh did I tell you, the waiting room and the office and medical facilities are separated by electronic locks and bullet proof glass...tells every one beyond a certain number on the clipboard to go home, since there is only one doctor there today..out of maybe ..Three!, surprise, surprise....with no triage or prioritization for medical needs. Those who complained are told to "Go to the E.R. then....(and mumbled under the breath, bitch-ass)", to people whos insurance DOES NOT cover E.R. visits.

F*CK this place, I'd rather die than go back there again...and by the way, this IS the private sector here...how could Goverment run health care get any worse?!?

I'm going to talk to Liz about HCH, Health Care for the Homeless, tomorrow. If I understand correctly, and some of my sources can be pretty incoherent and confusing...lol, you may wait for hours, but you do get seen and do get treated decent, and needs do get met....Hmmmm? I still have my doubts, so I'm not holding my breath.

So I'm tired, frustrated and hungry, (for real food, todays diet of Munchkins and various flavors of Russell Stover chocolate coated creme eggs leaves something to be desired, and I think it's affecting my brain and my hand eye coordination....I'm making a lot of typos..but I'm hitting 120 keys a minute.....lol!)...and I could use some more coffee and I'd like a drink of 'ice cold malted barley pop'.

It looks like I'm filling my water bottle from the fountain and snagging a package of the low budget, Buddig brand..chopped pressed, formed, water added lunch meats and a 33 cent bag of chips....lol.

Any body want to go to dinner......(your treat)....call me on the 410-908-XXXX cell phone #.

I'm out of here again, time's up and the library is filling up with dumb-ass droopy pants morons and teenage mothers who can't say a sentence without every 3rd word being a curse word and or YO or nigga.

later................Dave

"Paging.......................Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard.............................."

Good Morning;

What a lovely spring day, the epitome of the month of March; cool with a strong and gusty yet warm wind, bright, clear and sunny.

A perfect kite flying day, or sailing day. I am going to grab Rachel this weekend and go buy one of those 2 for a $1.00 kite kits at the dollar store, then hit a park or ball field somewhere, I hope the wind keeps up..(though there is ALWAYS a stiff breeze for some reason on the Reisterstown Road Plaza parking lot, and on Sunday the back and side lots are empty by the state offices).

Yesterday, after seder at Lisa's folk's house Monday night, I woke at 7:00 am. for the ususal reasons and went back to sleep until after 11:00 am. Last night I woke up at 11:30 pm. and rushed to the gas station to use the facilities, and did not get back to sleep until 1:30 am., then woke again at 4:30 am., and kept dozing in and out until 7:00 am. (again for hydraulic reasons), and tried to sleep until just before 9:00 am., when my back and the increasingly occurring numbness in my arms and legs said...'Get Up!!'. Could someone explain the term 'sleep pattern' to me, I don't think I've slept the same way twice in a row for 35 years....lol!

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

That quote is in response to the Charlotte Bronte quote in the quotation of the day box for today, Wednesday 3/31/10,....if you are checking in since then, Google her & 'consistency'.

Did you check out the videos from the City Paper article linked in the previous posts? Did you hear the guy talking about the insane reaction of the woman who tried to give him 2 apples and he only wanted one, and he asked her to give the other to someone else who might need it? Did you hear his comments about 'storage'? Did you hear the way some people have refused to accept his homelessness because he had on a fairly new and clean pair of pants or shoes that were GIVEN to him? Does any of this sound familiar....a bit of deja vu?

I stand vindicated.

Back to the present.

I am going to the Jai Medical offices as soon as I sign off here. Like a volcano about to erupt, or maybe an aneurysm about to burst is a more apt medical metaphor, my hypertension and the nerve?/circulation? problems in my arms and legs have reached a point where something must be done. I really have to get Blood Pressure Meds......today, unless there is an eight (8) hour wait time...then ..screw it, I'll go Friday. (I have an appointment tomorrow, Thursday, with Liz, my case manager from Prologue, and there is a letter from S.S.A. awaiting me there...more on that tomorrow after I get back). But I am going down there today, I've got my pad and pen, my books, and my PlayBooks..(self contained audio book systems now at the library, very cool, a complete book in a unit the size of a cell phone)..and a bag of Dunkin Donut Holes from the Dunkin Dumpster I hit last night.

I am hoping to get prescriptions and that there is still a $0.00 co-pay for them on the P.A.C. plan, as I am down to $5.00 fo the next 3 days and my bus pass expires tonight, so it's cash there for 2 days. And with their corporate SS patrolling the Starbucks trashcans these days, and their grey flannel Gestapo hiding under the counter, the Eco-Commandos of the Social Responsibility Resistance have been immobilized so the surplus food pipeline has been shut off.

I am praying that D.S.S. has not screwed up my TDAP. I really hate going there too, but I got mail at the 'ex'es' telling me I have an appointment on April 16th, which is amazing, because I usually get these letters AFTER the date I am supposed to be there...LOL!...NOT!!!!

Anyway, I will be back here later to check my e-mail, and I'll let you know what happened at JAI..if anything..and I'll be back in time to accept any late dinner invitations for to night also....lol!! ;-} !!!

See you later.........................Dave

"Belated Birthday Greetings To L. Ron..................................."

Good Evening;

This is an all inclusive (mostly, I'm not perfect, if I missed your faith/religion/sect---blame Google...................lol) holiday greeting(s) for the Last weeks of March/First weeks of April:

13 Friday

L. Ron Hubbard’s Birthday (Church of Scientology)
16 Tuesday
Vaisaki ** - Hindu New Year celebration
17 Wednesday
Saint Patrick's Day - Christian remembrance of one who ventured out to the frontiers.
20 Saturday
Ostara and Mabon * - Wicca northern and southern hemispheres. Equinox observances.
21 Sunday
Naw Ruz * - Baha'i New Year Norouz

Persian-Zoroastrian New Year
24 Wednesday
Ramanavami ** - Hindu celebration of the birth of Lord Rama.
27 Saturday
Lazarus Saturday - Orthodox Christian resurrection observance.
28 Sunday
Palm Sunday - Christian celebration of Jesus the humble one.
29 Monday
Mahavir Jayanti - Jain honoring of Lord Mahavira.
Pesach (Passover) Begins At Sunset - Jewish celebration of deliverance from slavery and oppression.

30 Tuesday
Magha Puja Day ** - Buddhist celebration of Buddha teachings.

Hanuman Jayanti ** - Hindu celebration of energy and strength.

2 Friday
Good (Holy) Friday - Christian remembrance of the crucifixion death of Jesus.
4 Sunday
Easter - Christian remembrance of the resurrection of Jesus

11 Sunday
Yom HaSho'ah * - Jewish remembrance of the Holocaust.
14 Wednesday
Baisakhi - Sikh honoring of the founder of the Kahlsa.

There are no Muslim days listed for this period, though Mawlid An Nabi, The Prophet's Birthday is noted as both Feb 26th and March 3rd, (Sunni & Shi'a)......

The very first item on the list IS an 'approved date for pupil absence' by the New Jersey State Board Of Education....All Hail Space Cadets, Tom Cruise and John Travolta, and the Blessed Space Mothers, Kirstie Allie & Lisa Marie Presley!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I left here earlier today, I went over to Jenn's and cooked some fish and took a shower, then every time I started to leave another heavy rain squall passed over, luckily I have a mindset of 2 year old so Devin and I passed the time together with no problem...and Ed came home just as I was on the way out the door, so I only had about 30 seconds of his attitude, and it did not have a chance to soak in....lol! I talked to Rachel for a minute before seder and she was busy performing for a houseful of relatives....the little ham.....lol!

I woke up this morning with cold feet and cold ears, the temps. really dropped and the wind and the rain were fierce at times last night. I started out in shorts and no socks and somehow woke up, (I don't remember dressing), with the draw string from the sleeping bag pulled snug around my neck and my head inside the pillow case.........LOL! Tomorrow is supposed to be 66 degrees, with highs near 80 by Saturday, and a low of 40 tonight....who knows how I'll end up in the morning!!

It is almost closing time so I'll see you tomorrow,

............Dave

Homeless and Hungry: Portraits by Michael Northrup | Baltimore City Paper

Homeless and Hungry: Portraits by Michael Northrup Baltimore City Paper

"Just Push The Damn Button!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....................."

Good Morning;

This is yesterdays post....ooops, gotta hit publish...lol.

In the March 10th 2010 issue of The Baltimore 'City Paper' free weekly, is an article and photo shoot entitled "Homeless and Hungry: Portraits by Michael Northrup" (also at www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=19907 2 videos and a slide show).

This is my letter in response to some of the comments;

particularly the letter to the editor in last weeks (Wed 3/24/10) print edition from Charles Washington.

We, the homeless are not one homogenous group who can all be lumped together. Each individual has their own story, demons, and needs, and while there are common elements, there are also major differences. Drugs and alcohol, mental illness, and illiteracy are now joined with layoffs, foreclosures, and Ponzi shemes as reasons people are on the streets. There are many formerly middle class folks, who could have been your friends and neighbors, who are not visible to the casual observer who commutes in clueless isolation and economic ignorance each day past the minority who do panhandle...(and as a matter of disclosure I also have begged on the corner of the expressway off ramp). By official estimates, 3,000 people a night are homeless every night in Baltimore and vicinity. To the narrowminded, knee jerk, automatic naysayers, who must place blame without facts....Open Your Eyes, Open Your Minds, Open Your Hearts...BEFORE!! you Open Your Mouth!
Thank you...........Dave Cluster............ www.homelesscide.blogspot.com
Posted 3.29.2010 11:20 AM

Seder last night at Lisa's parents house was lovely, a very eclectic and interesting and FUN group of people. This may be the only time you will hear me say this, but I actually wish the service had a been a bit more religious, or structured may be a better term.

(more thoughts on this later today, I have to stop bt Jenn's now.)

The whole evening went well and I totally enjoyed myself, and not once did I have to tell the whole story of being homeless, (I know some folks knew, but not I'm sure who).

Gottago, and the stupid computer is messing with the line breaks again..........arrgghhhh!!

......Later,,,,,,Dave

"Tonights Forecast.......DARK!!!.......With Scattered Light Towards Morning!.......................(R.I.P. George Carlin)...................."

Good Afternoon;

It's one of those glass half full/half empty days outside, I mean, is it partly sunny or partly cloudy? At what point does it switch from one to the other...lol.

The current conditions as reflected on my emotional bioclimatograph are fluctuating between anticipation and anxiety regarding tomorrow nights Passover Seder at Lisa's folks house, with a rapidly dropping frustration level on the Edward Index, and a stationary sanity front exists, aided by the application of an "Ice Brewed Canadian High", which is exerting a stabilizing effect on my "I'm not in the Sub-Tropics[al]" depression.

Yesterday, I went back to Jenn's and sat the brat..(and Devin) for an hour or so until Rachel was dropped off by her mom. By the time Jenn got back around 2:30 pm., Rachel also had her fill of Edward and we jumped on the train and went down to the Baltimore Arena box office and bought our ticket for the Circus...the REAL one, Barnum and Bailey & Ringling Brother's !!..( Hot Tip!! Wednesday April 7th, Opening Night is HALF PRICE....Two $26.00 seats, 'Center Ice', half way up second section......$13.00 each!!)...and grabbed a donut..(chocolate iced raised with rainbow sprinkles of course!...lol....I asked her for a taste and the little stinker smiled, ate the last piece and offered to let me lick the choclate off her fingers....LOL!!

We got back to Jenn's and her mother picked her up 20 minutes later...and I was sentenced to the rest of the night....during which Edward crapped his pants because he did not want to miss any of the movie he was watching...AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Oh well I gotta go Closing time....back Tomorrow..

.....................Dave

"Spring Fever........VS........Mustard Gas"

Good Morning;

It's a little cool this morning but sunny and the daffodils are starting to bloom. By this time next weekend, a 30 (thirty!) degree rise in temps. are expected....I can live with that. Actually, they can stop right there and I'd be happy.....lol.

Jenn called me yesterday evening as I was leaving here asking me if I could watch the kids this morning and again this evening, so I headed over to the Starbucks until they closed at 9:00 pm. and took the bus over to her place after they were asleep, and crashed there. A good thing too, I had a rough night and the proximity of the bathroom was a major plus, as my body's immune system rejected the combination of the Mickey Ds McBistro Chicken sandwich..(which was pretty tasty)..and too much late night coffee!

Of course, with my usual streak of luck, the J-bend sink trap on the bathroom sink had just deteriorated from the industrial strength drain cleaner Tom had poured down the pipes.

A swell combination of odors now infuse the bathroom, from swamp gas to hydrochloric and sulfuric acids, mixed with wet dog and an attemped, and failed, cover up with Glade 'Clean Linen' air freshener....and did I mention my 'gastric distress'? If you've ever been on a road trip through paper mill territory, near a sewage treatment plant, stuck behind a loaded garbage truck, in the middle of a heat wave, and your kid has just spewed a technicolor yawn all over the car......and then you hit the skunk?!?!

Oh yeah, and the maintenance office will be open again on Monday....lovely...LOL!

Well at least I have a viable punishment to threaten Edward with, the bathroom door has a lock on the outside, that is usually used to keep the kids OUT!!!!.......LOL!!!!!

They will be home later tonight, so I am spending the night on the couch again, unless my back continues this spasming, then I may head to the shed again. Tomorrow night, when I have no other place or plans to be anywhere, I'll be back in the shed, and of course that is when the rain returns...It's gotta be Loki....,"are you just messin' with me", (as Ed says when he thinks you're jerking his chain...lol).

I think Rachel is coming over for a while, the 'ex' has some still fresh 'chumatz' to drop off to Jenn today.

I am taking Rachel to the circus with money that I was so graciously given by Marianne, on opening night, Wednesday, April 7th..(half price, get the good seats!!)..and Tom said he is thinking of taking the whole family too, and had not know about the discount. It may be all 6 of us this time.

I have to head back to Jenn's now...I had to get out for a bit, to psyche myself up for a hyperactive day...lol. (but now I don't wanna go back inside......boo-hoo.......lol)

See you tomorrow.........Dave

" NFF.........................=........................New Friend......Forever..................................."

Good Afternoon;

I just got back to the library long enough to sign in and sign off but I had to tell you all about the wonderful new friend I met today, Marianne, a longtime follower. We met at the Mickey D's at Cromwell station and had alovely hour or so of conversation, and she generously gave me funds to spend on Rachel.

Oh hell....bye................Dave

"I'll Huff And I'll Puff And I'll..........Spray Saliva All over Your House And Dissolve It!!!!.............................."

Good Morning;

A little cool, a little damp, a little gray, a little blue, a little tired, a little achy, but all in all, a good morning.

The shed is slowly but surely giving up the ghost and surrendering to entropy and the elements. My bottom blanket, the one that is a ground sheet between the "box" springs....LOL!!!!, and heavy blanket that is now qradruple folded as a mattress, was beginning to do a fair imitation of a wick this morning, as I found out when I rolled it up. The corner was up against the insulation at the bottom of the wall where the wood had deteriorated..(kind of like the discs in my back...lol)..as had the fiberfill, and the only thing left was the backing paper, which I had not noticed and repaired with cardboard. The wind driven rain last night must have been coming from the northeast against the open wall and saturated it. Time for some 'corrugated construction' again. I think I'm also going to have to pull up the "box" springs and put down another layer or two of the 2' x 4' metal shelves and raise myself off the floor some more.

Okay I've gotta run now, I just received a phone call from Marianne, a 'Loyal Reader' and Follower who I have been exchanging e-mails with in the past few days. We are meeting at the McDonalds across form the Cromwell light rail stop in about an hour or so.

If I do not make it back to the library today....

Good Shabbos and A Happy Pesach to those who will be too busy to check in for a while.

To the rest of you......see you later today or Saturday......

........Dave

"Keeping It Real............................."

Good Evening;

Last post tonight..I promise.

This is a serious one..mostly, except for the comment I'm about to make about the retarded gay monkey, (screw PC...for this annoying jerkoff), on the computer across the way.....asshole does not even come close...it is watching a video and flipping it's hands like Madonna in her Vogue phase, with his pants down around his thighs, not only dumb as a rock, but can't carry a tune or hit the high notes either, I do not know if they...his friends are here crowded around him now, are homosexual or not, but they are f*ckin' fruitcakes!! Crude, rude and lewd, and ghetto stupid......no wonder stereotypes are perpetuated, not 3 words pass with out a curse word, or a misogynistic slur...against their own women. And not a single adult of their own people says a word.

Ok, Now....;

I had received an e-mail from a woman who has been following the blog for about a year now and just wrote me with an offer of clothes for Rachel, or toys, and some money to "DO" something with her...you can tell she reads the blog..lol. And an air mattress for me.

I have written back twice, and am awaiting a reply, and while I am I followed on of her links on her e-mail.......Wow!! What a surprise?, shock?,.....no...a truly HUMBLING experience!

This beautiful person, is a lung cancer survivor, who is still in treatment of some type, raising a 6..(?).. year old daughter of her own, wants to help ME out!

Dear God, if for no other reason than to be able to say thank you, I have to meet this person. This is the reason I started this blog, so folks such as this get acknowledged.

I'm gone for tonight....................Dave

"Stupidity In Action......Right Next To Me!..............."

Good Evening;

Like I said, I'm killing time, and there are empty computers available, so you, loyal reader, get the benefit of my sagacity, wit, wisdom, weirdness, dyspepsia, dypsomania, dysfunction, disassociative personalities, and semi-coherent ramblings.

This is an excerpt of an e-mail I received yesteday from the Youth An Program Coordinator of a local synagogue:

Shalom:
I hope that the week is treating you well as the weather is getting nicer.
The articles about you touched my heart. Beth Israel is hosting a Mitzvah Day on April 25 and we hope to spread volunteerism throughout Baltimore County. We also hope to bring stories like yours to our congregants so that they do more than just volunteer but make a lasting commitment to helping.
I hope that you would be interested in speaking to our congregation at 9am and then to our Fourth grade program at our synagogue at 10am. These are both on April 25.
We will gladly compensate you for your time. Someone can pick you up and drop you off.

I have responded with a letter of thanks and acceptance, and have been thinking that maybe I can shed some light on a few things that can cause some misconceptions and hard feelings on both sides of the homeless divide.

(In my opinion)

And maybe make some contacts for myself...hey.....networking is networking.

I've got to sign off now, before I knock the crap out of someone here, who is acting like a retarded monkey..............

later .............Dave

"Budget Deficits and Menu Planning.............AKA.............'Eatin' Good In The `Hood'......................"

Good Evening;

11 days, 23 hours, 45 minutes to O`s Opening Day!

So I'm killing time here at the library because it's too late to really do or go anywhere else, and I've got next to no money anyway.

The end of the month is either feast or famine, typical of my life....NO middle ground. I have to stretch $15.00 for 9 days, that includes food, coffee, laundry, and bus fare. Hmmmm..... $15.00/9 = $1.66666666~ ......NAH, it ain't gonna happen. I'll get through tonight, Friday, and Saturday morning. Saturday Jenn asked me to monster sit...(Ed's back from his grandmother's....lol), so I'll eat there Sat. night and Sunday daytime. I am going to seder Monday, (and maybe Tuesday)...and after all that matzoh....one meal a day is plenty...with a side order of ExLax...LOL!! And that is far enough in advance for now! I can always visit the Dunkin Dumpster....but like I said last post.....it's time to lose some weight.....fast!

Time to sign off and on again....back in a few.....

............................Dave

"Mission:-------IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!".........(And Don't Call Me Shirley!!, Roger?? Roger.....!!,....A Fond 'Fare Thee Well' To Peter Graves)............."

Good Afternoon, Mr. Phelps.....(that's Jim not Michael),

Your mission, if you are fool enough to accept it, is to fit your client's fat ass into the SPEEDO of 8 time gold medal winner Mr. Phelps.....(that's Michael not Jim).

This message will self destruct.....(like the eyeballs and brain of anyone who can picture me in a speedo......LOL!!...[please stop he screamimg, you're making my ears bleed!!!]......in 10 seconds.

So..I really have to lose some weight..FAST, by almost any means necessary! (I'm gonna draw the line at the 'N.A. DIET".....you know, shoot coke until you've lost 50 pounds, and then go back to going to meetings.....lol!, of course you may also lose your house, your job, your wife...et al, "But Dahhhhling, You Look Mahhhvelous!!".........LMAO!!!

But, seriously, I've put on way too much extra flab this year,

....on top of the semi-permanent R-48 insulation nature has wrapped me in!

The underlying health issues such as my hypertension, and the back pain, and joint stress and the resultant strain on my heart are becoming noticeable in my daily life again, as is the physical and mental and emotional discomfort of clothing not fitting comfortably, and the warmer weather meaning that the camoflage of layering is coming to an end....lol; not to mention the closed loop cycle of;

".............negative body image>low self esteem>depression>eating one self into a coma to escape the reality of the negative body image............."

There is a point of balance, a tipping point...HA!, where I begin to feel disgusted with myself, and if I do not do something, and achieve at least a quick initial resulting weight loss, I just go "Henry The Eighth" on any thing edible, (and slow moving small animals and children too....LOL)!

That point has been reached and surpassed.....burrrp!

Back Soon.............................Dave

"Walking The Tightrope..............Tempering Ego With Humility............AKA..........Trying To BE Humble Instead Of BEING Humbled........."

Good Afternoon;

This is my kind of weather, I love spring!

O`s Opening Day is 13 days and 3 hours away...(as of 'post time')!

So I have not only a second offer to attend a seder, but also an invitation to speak at a local synagogue on the 'Mitzvah Day' for Baltimore County Jewry...(more details as I learn more myself), first addressing the congregation, and then the fourth grade, on Sunday April 25th.....WOW!...and GULP!!!!!, I am out of practice talking to groups, since not being active in NA anymore, (where after a half dozen times of telling my story, I actually started to have it down as a routine, interspersing humor with pathos, and horror with hope). This is the humbling part, the 'trying to keep my head exploding from the inside' is the very idea of being asked, which in itself is an honor and a cause for humility. That someone thinks I have something to say that is not just of interest or funny, but may be of use to others.

More details after I make the final decision and/or plans to attend.

I went to Monkee's this morning on the bus and the train, listening to the conversations of some of these greedy, ungrateful, clueless morons reminds me how blessed I am.

I have been asked to babysit Devin tonight..(Edward will be at his grandmothers...my first ex...lol.......let her deal with him...heh heh heh).

I'm out of time again.

I may be back later...or not.....Dave

Welcome to Sheri...Follower # 20

And thank you to Marianne!!!

"Danny Deadline-----Court Reporter!!.............................."

Good Afternoon;

So I'm at the Towson library tuesday afternoon, so I guess you can figure out that court went well. I received a postponement until August 3rd 2010. The letter from my case manager requesting a rescheduling and detailing the steps taken so far regarding S.S.I. applications and procuring other benefits and adressing immediate needs was a big help, as was the copies of the JT and BM articles describing and illustrating my 'plight'....(his word...lol)..I gave the public defender who spoke to the judge for me. He played it up as me being a bit more "deet---dee-dee" than I would have liked, but I let it ride....this judge sends people to jail as an 'object lesson' and a form of encouragement, as well as for punishment..(for those who have not complied with his orders), with no second thoughts if he feels it is needed....I'm here today on the computer....'nuff said!

The public defender, Jim Sorensen, is kind of confusing. In the hallway talking to clients he is meeting for the first time, some of whom he actually had files on...(not me of course, but we know how my life goes...lol)...he was straight up about hating this part of the rotation, he'd much rather be in criminal court. He was also sarcastic and condecending, with a low key smartass attitude. But I gotta say, he was good in the court room, he may not have liked or gave a damn about his clients personally, but he did his best professionally. The judge was Judge Hennegan, and as I said he has no compunction about jailing folks, but he does seem to want to be able to work with them and give them a chance first.

I'm going to send some e-mails and wander back to Jenn's and pick up my 'stuff', and somewhere in the meanderings grab a bite to eat and an 'adult beverage', or a coffee with a shot...which is an 'adulterated beverage'.....lol. I feel as if I had a huge load lifted from my shoulders, and a chance to breathe and allow the wheels that have started spinning to get some traction and produce....something??, anything??, as long as it is up and out of the rut.

I may be back at the Pikesville library this evening, but I'll be there tomorrow morning for sure. If the sun is shining tomorrow, I am planning to grab Rachel for lunch or ice cream around middday.

I just realized something, I am 'free' to accept Lisa's invitation to seder!! Cool!!

gotta go now want to e-mail her and my case manager Liz,

(and go back to Facebook and finish pouring out my unending yet unrequited love for Michelle M............LOL!)

See you later .......Dave

P.S. Welcome to Follower #19, "Hello Candidate"..........(I'd like to swap copies of poetry books Brenda)

"Rhyme Thyme......................"

Yeah Back Again...Damn Rain!!

So yesterday at the Starbucks this stereotypical New Yawker stars bitching about the 'brain dead' guy who made his drink, and how lousy it was and how everything is better in New York......BEFORE he even tried his coffee!!, He then promptly dumped it out all over the lawn and the back patio. He began bitching about Baltimore and I said to him, "so you think Baltimore is the 'asshole of the universe', right?" and he says "yeah exactly!", so I said to him "and you're just passing through, aren't you?" with an evil grin, and he says "Yeah, you're damn right I am..........(silence)......" and he starts to get up and approach me with an angry look on his face.....I just sat there, totally laid back and smiled and said, "something wrong?". He stopped, looked at my unconcerned attitude and posture....and reconsidered and stomped off mumbling......pity, this was just after the call from Allen and I really wanted to expend some of the unreasonable, but very real anger and frustration that had been building up inside of me......LOL!

..On another note;

..here is some verbal vomit that illustrates my mood both late yesterday and today, at least since the torrential downpour has trapped me here this afternoon without an umbrella.

____________

The Black, Red, and Phony Green Blues:

++++++

=====

your corporate hypocrisy

breeds employee mediocrity

and self serving bureaucracy

spawns government absurdity

****

aid to the third world you see

mates celebrity and charity

compounding all the irony

of this decimal democracy

****

that's really a theocracy,

bow the head and bend the knee

worship the economy

and ethical lobotomy

****

ignoring common decency

exploiting amorality

burn the forest, save the trees

profit from indignity

****

concealing this insanity

behind political inanity

leaves the vainglorious bastards free...

......................

...while raping you and killing me

****

dbc....3/22/10

****

Moody son of a bitch at times...ain't I?

With any luck, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon...

Circuit Court at 9:00 with Judge Hennigan...Oh Boy!!

P.S. sorry about all the symbols, but the stupid program isn't allowning line breaks, and I'm not in the mood to Eff with the HTML!!!

"The Mysterious East..........................."

Hi again;

It's just one of those days, grey outside and blue inside, too sore too sleep, too tired to type, too wet to plow.......can't dance--gotta drink.......LOL!

Got hits in the past 24 hours from Australia, New Zealand, and Singapore...????

Hints??.....I wanna go!!!!

>>Dave

"Life..............................................."

Good Morning;

Though it is not really the best of times. I am both saddened and humbled by the phone call I received yesterday afternoon, and angry at fate. You may remember my increasing concern and worry over the whereabouts and lack of contact with my friend Allen Cohen, since the beginning of February. While I was in Whole Foods yesterday afternoon the phone rings and I see it is his number, I almost answered with some sort of smart ass comment...I'm damn glad I did not. It turns out he was in University Hospital, (UMMS), in Baltimore City, where he had his left foot removed.....SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! How do you...can you react and respond to a phone call like that? We only talked for a minute or two, and I asked if he needed company or anything I could bring him,...he said he is about to be moved to a nursing home soon, and will let me know when and where. We'll be in contact then.

With everything else that has gone on in the past month and a half, (good and bad and indifferent), and the upcoming court date perched on my shoulder like a carrion eating scavenger, I have reached a state of emotional overload. I know what I should feel, but I really do not know if I do or not. Over the years I have learned to wear the proper facade while concealing the numbness inside so well, that sometimes, like now, life feels like an M.C. Escher drawing, or a Moebius strip.

As I have said before, as crappy as some of you think my life is or has been, I am truly blessed in my eyes....not always happy, but damn who is!!

Perspective!

To other matters;

I want to apologize to the employees and friends I have made at the various Starbucks for the grief you have received on account of the dual stories in the JT and BM. Your kindnesses and courtesies were and still are appreciated by me and the others with whom I have shared the bounty of your compassion, and on behalf of them and myself.......Thank You.

That loyal readers is the result of the fallout I have heard occurred when the area or district manager flipped out after reading that...Oh NO!!! Food was being given to a homeless person....what if he gets sick and sues us!!! (of course they were also...[with permission????double standard??]... giving food to some church or outreach group....when they even bothered to show up to get the food)!!!

I'm only going to do a tiny rant now...a bigger blast to follow at a later post.....lol!

The food that is being thrown away often hours ahead of closing time and sometimes half a day before the sell by date....(and by the way, who in the corporate hierarchy decided that it is better to discard certain 'breakfast' pastries, after 12:00 noon, rather than leave them on sale until closing??)....which is always days before the spoilage date...(by design for safety reasons!!).

ENOUGH FOR NOW!!

Times up this session..........back soon ....Dave

"Luck O' The Irish.........AKA........Beer, It's Not Just For Breakfast!!!............ "

Good Morning;

So...after the library closed yesterday evening I meandered my way over to see Rachel and pick up a few dollars that the 'ex' owed me. 3 out of 4 of my 'ex stepkids'...(lol! that is a strange label)...were over there also and everyone had something to tell or show me...all at once of course! I have not spent much time with them recently and the boys have really grown quickly, the oldest son's body has finally caught up with his "laidback/too cool/can't show emotion", teenage attitude that he has had for a couple of years now...LOL! The youngest must have bones of lead or gold, he is neither very big nor fat, but incredibly 'dense' in terms of mass...(and at times in his 'selective' memory, hearing and comprehension abilities too......LOL!) The second oldest is a girl, who hit puberty a few years ago, had that sudden growth spurt from little girl to young woman and has been in stasis ever since....lol. Rachel's hair is getting so long now, and wild too. It is time for her first 'big girl haircut/styling' session. I had found a clean and almost unused Crayola sketch pad on the bus stop a while ago and given it to her, well, she made a picture book illustrated with stick drawings of the cats and the dog, and different combinations of her extremely convoluted family dynamics...lol!..(On a serious note, psychologically speaking...everyone is happy and smiling, thank goodness, even the animals..lol,...you can tell a lot about their stae of mind from a kid's spontaneous artwork.)

They were about to clean up for Shabbos, (which means the 3 oldest made themselves scarce), so I said goodbye and split. I may get a chance to see Rachel again this afternoon or evening for a bit, if schedules mesh. I am going over to Jenn's to shower and maybe wash a load of clothes shortly, when they all head out to the playground with the grandkids, (since I'm spending Monday night so as to be able to shower early Tuesday before I head off to court and ???

Speaking of the ???

My Horrorscope in the weekend edition of "B" the free paper in the orange boxes all over town, published by The Baltimore Sun says:

Pisces 02.19-03.20 It's OK to be selfish this weekend.

Do what you want to do and don't compromise.

This may be hard because you love to please,

but make the next few days all about you!

Hey....if it's in print it must be official, and I always obey the law...(welllll....the spirit if not the letter anyway...lol), so I started this morning with NEW Grape PopTarts and Yuengling lager for brunch ;-} ...!!!

But Really, I am going to do something just for me..(and hopefully Rachel, 'cuz she is what makes me happiest)..this weekend. If anyone has any..free time, free tickets, free passes, free burgers, free willy...lol!, or just wants to meet for the very first, or the umpteenth, or any amount in between, time...call me! (E-mail me..I may get it before Monday....LOL). Look me up at the Starbucks in Mount Washington tomorrow morning. (And I am thinking Bill Bateman's in Reisterstown, for half price burgers in the evening) Let's "do (and/or drink) lunch" as they say, or brunch, or coffee this evening or tomorrow, I've got a couple bucks to spend, and need company! Preferably Female, but....'Beggars Can't Be Choosers!'...right.....LOL!

If you cannot tell, I woke up craving company this morning..(I also woke up with severe hip pain, and cannot remember where I must have banged it to bruise it so bad). I actually was over come by a massive wave of loneliness as I lay down last night. The first feeling/thought was OHHHH, it feels so good to lie down and stretch out on a firm, flat surface...followed immediately by, GEEZ I need someone to sleep with! It didn't so mucah as pass, as lessen, and I fell asleep until 3:30 am., and then dozed in and out due to hip pain, until I got up at 8:30 am., went to Giant for coffee and ablutions, came over to the picnic table at the library for my Irish breakfast....and here I am. Now I am out of here to catch the bus to Jenn's

See you...hopefully SOMEONE!!, later today, or tomorrow!

......................Dave

P.S. .....The 'Luck' part came in when I stopped in the gas station and played $2.00 on the Keno, and lost. Gary was there and we had not seen each other for months, and he must have hit for a nice sum, so he gave me $6.00 bucks for sh*ts and giggles, I played 2 more $$, lost again, and still left $2.00 ahead....LOL!

"Last Call......................."

Good Afternoon, Again;

Well I just got 20 minutes added to my time and the library closes in 25 minutes, so you get a few more of my pearls of wisdom dropped on you!

(..........don't worry, they'll wash off....LOL!)

So I slept in the shed last night, and it was a 50/50 thing,

good temperature wise, good as relates my back pain.

Lousy as regards hip and shoulder comfort, and unrolling and unfolding and repacking....

is a pain in the ass I had forgotten about...lol.

I stopped in the Giant and said HI to Carol. who I had not seen since Feb. 1st, since I never made it up there before she got off work in the morning....having a coffee maker within stumbling distance of Jenn's couch.

I then went down to the Case Management Firm and met with Liz, and we then spent 4 hours at Social Security, where we went to find the status of my case. Come to find out that the last record the geniuses had was the denial in December 2008. Where THEY deny receiving my medical info, (which I had stamped and signed receipts for at the time)....and no raecord at all of my reapplication/appeal in January 2009, (which I gave the copy of the receipt for to D.S.S., or I would not have gotten Food Stamps and TDAP!!), so we filled out the whole application again..online at the kiosk, and BOTH have official copies of the paperwork..with a first response/automatic denial due in 3-4 months.

We then stopped at Mcdonalds and the 'clients expense account' bought us lunch.

Liz then typed up a damn good letter for the courts for Tuesday, with a request for rescheduling and explanations...I'll print more later....closing time is nigh!!!

"Reader Appreciation Day"...................AND............."Is There A Doctor In The House?!?!.................

Good Afternoon;

Just a quick Thank You!!! in case I run out of time before I finish composing the rest of todays post.

Welcome to Follower # 18, Crystal. Thanks and I'm glad you enjoy my babblings enough to want to 'keep coming back', (as we used to say in the meetings...lol!).

AND...To whoever it is who uses COVAD as their ISP......

WOW!!!

Thanks for all the time you have been spending reading the archives, If my head explodes....from an overinflated ego.....you made it worthwhile...lol!

And a belated CONGRATULATIONS!!!, and a well earned MAZEL TOV to my friend, supporter, confidant, and one man pep squad, Neil Rubin!!!

On March 12th at 3:00 pm. he was awarded his Ph.D. degree from The Baltimore Hebrew Institute at Towson University, after successfully defending his thesis titled "American Jewry and the Oslo Years."

Way to go Herr Doctor Professor Rubin!

(He promised I could read his written portion..

....if my insomnia ever got out of hand......LOL!)

Back soon...........Dave

"If You Knew Sushi..........(Like I Know Sushi).........."

Good Afternoon;

What a lovely day, and I actually got outside to enjoy some of it!

I got back to Jenn's about 10:30 pm. last night after stopping at the Giant and picking up a hunk of beef so I could take a last advantage of the use of the stove. I passed out about 1:00 am. and woke up around 3:00 am. and washed all the dishes and did my laundry...(my bio-rythyms are a friggin' mess.........LOL)...and fell back asleep until 5:00 am. when I got up long enough to pull the clothes from the dryer, make and drink a cup of coffee, and make a deposit in the 'Bank of Back River'..(lol)..then fell back asleep until I heard Tom moving about somewhere around 6:30-7:00 am.. I was so tired I literally could not open my eyes or move, almost as if I was in a coma. I heard Devin wake up and begin talking and singing to her stuffed monkey until about 8:30, when my back hurt so bad I HAD to get up. It took me the next 4 hours to crawl into the shower, where I spent the next 45 minutes swaying under the hot water. I was getting dressed when the 'ex' called and asked when I was coming by her job to pick up the package that came in the mail for me, and offered to buy me lunch! We went to UMAMI in Pikesville and she treated me to sushi/sashimi/maki platter and some of the nicest miso soup I have tried. No real reason, she juts felt like eating out, and did not want to sit in the restaurant alone. We had a very pleasant and peaceful afternoon. I am glad that for all the crap we have gone through and disagreements that we still have, that we are able to be friends, most of the time, not only for Rachel's sake, but for our own as well. I am heading back to Jenn's soon and grabbing a few changes of clothes and my toothbrush and razor....etc., and hitting the road this evening, back to the shed and outdoor living. I have been spoiled, by not having to sleep out in the cold obviously, but also by not having to lug all my crap around, by daily showers, by stove and refrigerator access..(especially that 2:00 am. time block....lol)..and by not having to move if the weather is shitty, just to go to the bathroom.

Time's up now...see you tomorrow, after my day with my case manager....

..............................Dave

P.S...5,000 hits!!! WooooHoooo!!!.......

Oh okay, 4,995, if you want to be picky and a stickler for details, but it WILL be OVER 5K by the time I next sign on tomorrow!!

(Or I link in 5 times from a strange browser....LOL)

[Y'know, like elections in Chicago.....Vote Early & Vote Often!!.....LOL]

P.P.S....just to show that "For Every Silverlining There's A Cloud"....

my boots, (that I scavenged from Tom's discard pile anyway), and now well on there way to becoming open toed sandals, I've got to go get a wad of chewing gum to hold the sole to the upper. The right boot looks like the talking 'toon shoes from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"!! I needed to get new ones anyway, these are actually a half size too big and Tom must walk on the insude of his heels, while I tend to walk on the outside, so they are worn down wrong and when I am tired and my feet (and ankles, and knees, and hips hurt.........which is most of the time), I move like Charlie Chaplin's 'Little Tramp'.

"Changes In Attitude........./..........Changes In Latitude............OR...................The Honeymoons Over!......................."

Good Afternoon;

431 posts and 4980 visitors on the Sitemeter hit counter, where has all the time gone?

Well it's officially back again, (full time), to the status referenced in the title of this blog,.........yep............Jenn popped the question last night. You know the one I mean, the one I TOLD her to ask when we were all just one thread away from the breaking point....

'Now that the weather seems to have broken, when were you planning to pack up?'

...and which she has actually been putting off due to discomfort in asking. (And that was actually a Good Thing, for them as well as myself, in light of the past 2 weeks 'Sturm und Drang'.....[and you have not even heard about early Tuesday morning all the way through to the late afternoon yet!!!........LOL!]...)

This was not unexpected and as I said even beyond expectations as regards timing. The few nights out in the past week, and the lessening of tensions all around were welcome diversions that illustrated the need for me to split. Every time I have been packed and ready though, weather or circumstances intervened.

Depending on the availability of the washers and dryers in the laundry room when I get back there this evening, I am leaving tonight or tomorrow morning. If I take off in the morning, I'm going to head right to Jai Medical, (really!, I mean it this time, if I get the laundry done early that is, it seems that every time I plan to wash late or early, that is the day the laundry room door is locked for the night, [as it supposed to be but rarely is, and/or, not unlocked when it is supposed to be in the morning......lol!], and it does not rain or snow, or the sink does not explode again...more on THAT in a minute, yeah, no excuses this time, gonna get right on the train...), and see about this hypertension and whether this numbness in my left arm and hand and funny feeling in my chest is only my poor circulation and indigestion or if my heart is a Toyota product needing a "software adjustment", and if I am eligible for a new pair of glasses yet, and find out about referrals to a shrink, if there is one in a neighborhood I am going to travel to, and some other medical crap..............or not.

I need to have clean clothes for Friday, (my day of travel with my C.M. to D.S.S. and S.S.), and if I bathe Thursday am. I should be clean enough still, and I won't be in the way when they are rushing around like chickens with their heads chopped off trying to not only bathe and do hair and dress themselves, but also the kids and then keep them clean long enough to get to the cemetery for the interment of Tom's dad. Better I'm not there then, so I want to see if I can trade babysitting on Monday night so they can both get out, for the use of the shower at the ass-crack of dawn on Tuesday, so I can be nice and clean if they decide to lock me up when I go to court....Without $11,988.00.

I am..{make that was}..hoping to see Rachel for a bit tonight, there is a piece of mail for me at the 'ex'es', and I'm planning to stop by there when she gets off work.....(damn it's almost 5:30 pm. already!!.....{Now it's damn near 8:00 pm....ooops, screwed that up!}..I'll get the mail from her tomorrow..), and we are going to do something this weekend also, (besides the 'just-in-case-I-may-not-be-around' scenario), since the weather will be SOOOO nice. I don't know what yet, as I am flat broke, but she is always happy just to take a bus or train ride and walk the harbor and get an ice cream with me.

I am going to try again to have coffee with Paul tomorrow afternoon in Owings Mills at the Starbucks, (strike that... he canceled the minute after I hit publish....lol!), and then 'fluff my mattress' in the shed with some new cardboard boxes, (if it is not awash inside, I have not checked it for awhile.....if so, well...it's getting mild enough for some of the 'temporary one night/one time use back-ups).

(How about all that real time editing....LOL)

Now, middle of the night water fun!!!.........NOT!!!!!!!!!

About 1:30 am. Tuesday morning I am on Jenn's couch and I hear what sounds like the Mr. Coffee come on and coffee starting to trickle into the pot. It took a while to penetrate my sleep starved brain that it was only 1:30 and I had just a short while ago set it for 5:00 am. So, I get up and stumble in the kitchen to turn it off and stepped, in my stocking feet...ugghhhhhh!!!, into a rising and spreading pool of dirty, foul, nasty, stinking, disgusting, slimy, greenish and whitish flecked and chunked, grey-brown filmed water......pouring over the edge of the sink, across the tops and sides of the cabinets, into the silverware drawer, into the crevices of the molding, into the openings of the closed but not sealed and locked dishwasher, (where it was also coming back up and in through the drain), and then someone in an upper floor apartment flushed and or their illegal washing machine began to empty...AND A GEYSER ERUPTED!!!, spewing this, this, this....sewer vomit, all over everything! I ran and woke Tom and we grabbed his wet/dry shop vacuum and started running relays out the door, dumping bucket after bucket out onto the grass of the courtyard, (during which time, Tom tells me this is a semi-regular occurrence, and not the first or even the seventh time he has had to do this in their nearly 5 years in this apartment....F*ck That!!, I'd have been gone if the complex had not fixed it after the third time in 2 years!!!)until the inflow-upflow-backflow stopped, by this time it was 5:00 am. and Tom had to clean up and leave for a job he could not reschedule, and Jenn got up and had to wash and bathe because she was being picked up to go to court and testify in a case......guess who spent the next 2 hours cleaning enough utensils and dishes with bottled water...(Oh yeah...after the maintenance man came and checked out the situation, he went and told neighbors in the building...[where HE also lives in the next door terrace apt.], to use as LITTLE water as possible, until he could snake out the drains...of course these ghetto morons ignored him and he had to shut off the water to half the complex!!)...so as to feed the kids? Yep, good ole Pop-Pop Dave....who then put Devin in "baby jail" and FINALLY put enough of the fear of God, (or me, my palm, and the very real threat of duct tape), in Edward to keep him in their sleeping area watching DVDs and playing reasonably sanely....and who then spent the next 6 hours washing every damn thing in the kitchen and then bleaching it and the dishwasher, (after multiple cycles), and then doing as much of the floor as got wet. What a way to spend the first nice day of the season!

I got a really awesome e-mail today..(actually yesterday, but I was a little too busy to get here!!!...LOL!)..from a young woman I met at the now closed Pikesville Starbucks about a year and a half or so ago. We had a nodding acquaintance for a long while, and as she came in each morning for her coffee I began to notice the amazing style and variety of boots she usually wore, (and she is one of those women who is lucky enough to be able to wear most any and all cuts and designs of boot and look great!). One morning I took a deep breath and dove in and complimented her on a particularly lovely pair, and it became a sort of inside joke and ice-breaker between us, especially on those days when she wore sneakers because she was on her way to or from the gym....lol. Well, Monday night I went with Jenn to the Giant after her homegroup meeting and as I was betting out of the truck, I noticed long dark hair and sneakers crossing the parking lot. I said to Jenn that I thought I knew her and as I got out I called, "Where's your boots", and she turned and saw me and laughed. we stopped and chatted fro awhile catching up on things and I told her about the JT and BM stories and introduced her to Jenn.

So I go to check my e-mail to day, and she must ahve gotten it from one of the articles or remembered it from before, but it started....: "Hi, this is Lisa, the girl with the boots......."! Well I was tickled enough to get the e-mail, but when I read it and found that it was an invitation for me and my daughter to share Passover Seder with her, at her parents house, with some other folks too,.....well you know me, I'm about as hard as a marshmallow....I actually got all misty eyed...(good thing it's allergy season....I had an excuse.....LOL!). What a lovely and beautiful thing to do! I replied that I would be pleased and honored to join them, contingent on the outcome of Tuesday's court date. I am really touched, and even if I cannot be there, will always remember this. The last Seder I went to was a very different affair, very orthodox..FRUM..and I was so uncomfortable I 'got sick' and had to leave. I hope, for this, and other reasons obviously...lol, that I am 'free to attend'.

Time is up, I've used all my sessions, and 2 on Rachel's library card too...lol!

Back tomorrow....................Dave

"Odds And Ends.................................."

Good Afternoon...Again;

Just a couple afterthoughts, you know the type of thing you think of when you've already hit the send button on the e-mail, the snappy retort that comes 10 minutes too late....................the, "I Coulda Had A V-8" moment.

SLAP To The Head!.........LOL

First and most important, if anyone reading knows my friend Allen C. (who had the foot surgery this winter) from the Starbucks, first the one in St. Thomas Shopping Center in Owings Mills, and then from the one in Mt. Washington, and has seen or heard from him in the past month and a half please ask him to call me, or would you call or write me and let me know. I have not been able to reach him by phone and I have left voice mails but have had no response, and I am getting worried about him...Thanks

Second, 80 more visitors and we will hit 5,000!!!...again...Thank YOU!!

Third, in the Baltimore Magazine article, there is some clarification needed about a statement and a chronology regarding Jenn, which she feels is misleading and does an injustice to HER mother. The statement saysn that Jenn was largely raised by my mother, which is not exactly true, Jenn spent at least half her time at her mother's, who has been active in her life at all times. When she spent the other half of her time with me at my parents house, she frequently traveled and vacationed all over the country with my mother, and if I was not as present as I could have been I was never absent until her last years of high school. Also my comments about my big money drug use and subsequent ways and means of acquisition did not occur when Jenn was a child.

time again......later........Dave

Rainy Days And Mondays Always Get Me......................................................Mildly Psychotic.....................(But Who Can Tell)...."

Good Afternoon;

My apologies for the extended absence,

....................between the all encompassing craziness involved in the preparations for the viewings and the funeral service; the childcare logistics..(AND I had a last minute addition!!...I love younger women!!), suppressing the overwhelming desire to introduce my grandson to the joys of interstellar travel, via the newly developed 'Size 10 & 1/2-Leather Encased-Metatarsal/Gluteal-Earth Orbit Escape Velocity-Launch Mechanism;

Last minute, urgent, major & extreme laundry duties...(not just my dirty undies...lol); lack of and/or intermittent and interrupted sleep; rain, heavy rain, more rain, still more and heavier rain, designing and constructing an ark, collecting pairs of animals, cleaning up after said animals volumes of rain; weather related physical pain and misery, non-weather related "normal"....(LOL!!) chronic pain and misery, self admitted and administered and guiltily acknowledged weight related pain and misery;......and the surprisingly sudden onset and rapid descent, (I mean we're talking Olympic quality record setting Luge...[Pre-modifications!!] speeds here) into a depressive episode that I am still fighting right this minute; {Exacerbated by the anxiety of the court date a week from tomorrow, the combination of the post-adrenal letdown from Thursdays meeting with Liz my new case manager and today's article in the Baltimore Sunpaper regarding the gross inefficiency of the Baltimore County D.S.S...where I am supposed to transfer my case from the Baltimore City branch because Liz's firm is located in the County, therefore said transfer is necessary for both service to me and (Federal??) grant money to them.}; AND the Mother Of All sinus headaches, (BTW thanks to all you Meth-Heads out there, and your bathtub labs, for forcing the pharmaceutical companies to change the formulas on all the sinus meds to ineffective compounds that aren't worth a rat's ass!).

Sorry......3 days of talking to, and more so listening to either toddlers, domestic animals, or the raindrops and your head would be ready to explode too....LOL!!!

But, I got a chance to hang out with a beautiful, single, younger woman on Friday night, we had drinks together and she snuggled up to me on the couch, and fell asleep in my arms. How much younger, oh about 6 months.....not 6 months younger than me....SIX months old.....LOL!, as for the drinks, she had Similac, I had coffee...lots and lots of coffeeeeeeee! Jenn's best friend Lauren, and her husband Brett were going out to dinner with Jenn and Tom between the viewings and then to the funeral home afterwards. I heard Lauren on Jenn's speaker phone saying something about losing their baby sitter at the last minute, and said "bring her over here, I haven't lost one yet"...lol, and which, after some discussion they decided to do. I'm really touched and honored that Lauren, who knows my situation and whole verkakte story, and who I really do not know that well, would trust me with her gorgeous little girl, and grateful that I could be of service to them. And to Tom and Jenn and his mom Pat, lessening their load by a small amount.

I am such a softy, I could see my self being a daddy to a baby girl again...you can keep the boys...lol.....any interested prospective mothers out there....I've got walking, talking, beautiful, intellingent, talented references!!!, to the second generation....LOL!!!

So can you tell that I am easily twisted around my girl's little fingers? And that I am totally slap happy with cabin fever after the past week?

Well, after Tuesday, the sun should be back, and projected temps are near 70 degrees by the weekend. My services should be no longer be required at the drop of a hat or at odd hours, and I can get back out on my own on a full time basis, not having to 'keep coming back' the day after I leave. I need to get away, from the fridge and the stove too!!!.LOL!!! I put on so much flab this winter! I don't expect immediate (if any) action from the C.M. firm so I guess I'm in the shed until I can find a new hideaway, somewhere discreet and private and clean and safe. The shed has started to leak too, too much for comfort.

I have to find some new way to get some cash too, as Jenn and Tom can no longer trade for my grocery credit. I don't want to go back out to the corner anymore, I need to find a private individual with a small businesss, that is NOT physical labor.

That is, if I am not locked up for contempt of court!

Time's up, and my mind is spinning anyway...as you can tell from the disjointed babbling.......lol.

Back later.................Dave