Tuesday, November 8, 2011

"Nightmares And Hallucinations.....................The Mouse That Roared..................."

Good Afternoon;

So I was sitting in the Starbucks yesterday afternoon when Erik of Pikesville PC pops in to say hi while he was out taking advantage of the fine fall weather on his motorcycle, and to tell me to drop off the (s)laptop and he'll deal with it's issues. He told me he had some other laptops he was using as 'parts cars' and he'd try to swap out the hard drive and reload Windows on the VAIO, or at worst cobble together another "Franken-puter" from the reanimated corpses of the contents of his 'boneyard'. We're going to hook up at some point, somewhere, sometime, later today....definitely maybe..............lol!

Another really, really bad night of either troubled or no sleep last night, not sure why, but I feel like 2 bags of dead mice today. It was not so much the pain that kept me up, meds dampened that to a level that enabled sleep, (and taken at the proper times did not themselves inhibit it), but I woke up a few times soaking wet and shaking with fear and a vague and rapidly fading remembrance of what triggered it. I just know I was physically and mentally scared sh*tless but not of WHAT or WHY....strange, weird, and frustrating!?!

I've put off going to S.S.A./D.S.S. until Thursday, just the thought of walking in there and dealing with the confrontations that will occur has me sweating and my vision narrowing and getting dark, and feeling like I'm about to pass out.....then the dry heaves begin. This f*cking paranoia and anxiety is a bitch.....and the more I intellectually tell myself it's all in my head the worse it seems to get.

Change of subject and a few minor observations;

The mouse that shares the shed with me has gotten very bold and quite fearless. as I was sitting up and reading before I went, (tried), to sleep I heard him in the walls scuttling around. At a point where I must have been motionless while reading for a good while I saw him out of the corner of my eye as he scurried along the shelf only inches from my left arm that was propped on it, stopping, looking me in the eye and continuing on down the length of the shed to the trash bag by the door. I heard him chewing through the plastic and entering the bag then coming out again right away as there was no food or crumbs in there this time. He trotted back up along the shelf, stopped and gave me a look that I swear said, "I'll let it go this time, but there better be something to eat in there tomorrow!"....and stalked off with his tail held straight up in the air!.........LOL!

I saw he homeless woman I mentioned a while ago who spent the summer wearing the same 3 hospital gowns again last night at the bus stop at Reisterstown Road Plaza. She had on a heavy floor length faux fur coat with hood, and what looked like only underwear underneath, and a pair of disposable plastic/rubber 'clog' type open shoes, and three bags full of.....bags....

outta time

Later.............. Dave

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