Wednesday, May 19, 2010

"Dial 'I' For Insomnia.....Isolation.....&.....Incomplete................."

Good Morning;

Well another night has passed and I woke up way too early. I was up at 3:45 am. thinking it is about 6:00 am. or so. I finally was able to fall back asleep about 8:00 am., when the phone rang 30 minute later. It was a number I did not recognize so I let it go to voice mail, as I was listening to the message from my newly found cousin Harriet, my other phone rang..(okay, some of you are saying "what is a homeless guy doing with 2 cell phones?"...well I'll tell you. One number is a phone I've had for about 4 years, the other is a SafeLink phone that delivers around 64 minutes a month provided free by the U.S. government to poor folks who receive Foodstamps , disability or social security.....and I'm about to get a third phone through someone who is eligible but does not want one and is going to let me use theirs, since my original number is a pay by the minute phone...as are the Safelink phones if you want to add more minutes...), and it is Harriet asking if I want to get together today.....lol. We are going to try to meet after my meeting with my Prologue caseworker Liz. Liz and I are going to Walmart to return or exchange my new bag which has torn already.

Then when I am in the Giant, brushing my teeth and washing up the phone rings again, and it is Rachel telling me to come to the front of the store. She was there with her mother, and Carol..one of the cashiers..told them I had just walked in. We visited for a while and I may see her later this afternoon, after i meet with Harriet.


Last night I left the Starbucks at closing and spent some time with my favorite bus driver, (again a lovely, friendly and compatible woman.........happily married....continuing the theme of the last post......lol), and stopped at the gas station before entering the shed. There was a man out side by the pumps trying to scam customers by saying he was homeless and hungry. I know for a fact that he is living in a boarding house nearby and is a crack head and a drunk. I mentioned this to the manager and he, (who knows me, and a few other of the real homeless folks in Pikesville, and let us use the bathroom and sit inside for a while on cold or hot nights), chased him off the premises. It only takes one jerk to ruin a situation for those who do not abuse their privileges.


I read for a while then turned the lantern off and just lay there thinking and spacing for a long time, unable to sleep. it is a toss up which is the more painful lack in my life right now, a residence or a companion. It is not sex that I am so desperately longing for, [though that is a factor...(although my libido is at such a low point right now that an 'erection' is nothing but the way the Japanese choose their heads of state!!!............LOL!!!)...], but companionship of the opposite sex, physical contact of a non-violent nature, and just the opportunity to wake up and occasionally not be alone.
As I have said in one of my poems, the lack of 'caresses not coitus', is what is killing me slowly.
Okay I've got to leave for Prologue now and meet Liz, who of course would also be a perfect fit as a 'Friend', but of course, is happily married....lol. Luckily we have talked about transferrence in a clinical/professional client/provider relationship, and worked out any possible conflicts.
See you later.................Dave

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